I’ve never understood the concept of vandalism before. It’s just the random destruction of property that serves no real purpose. It’s always seemed, at best, wasteful. Now I understand it. As my good back hoof kicks out and I send a priceless bust of Princess Celestia flying across the hallway to shatter on the wall, it finally dawns on me why some ponies vandalize things.

It feels really damn good.

Right now there’s a trail of destruction in my wake. The guards are forced to watch as I destroy everything I can get my hooves on.

The destruction could be worse, it could be a lot worse, but the pain in my back right hoof and left shoulder prevent me from putting my full strength behind my actions.

Still, I make do with what I have.

I give another kick, another object that some sculptor spent months on shatters in a million pieces. The sound of it breaking, and even the pain shooting up my leg, it all helps me think about something other than what happened in there.

It’s not working.

I know that all of this is nothing more than pointless vandalism that the unicorns can easily fix. If anything, I’m just dragging out my recovery.

I’m acting like a bucking foal and I know it.

Suddenly my wounds hurt that much more. The memories are back in force. I’ve done nothing but put them off and now they’re back with a vengeance.

I look back as I hear a pony approach. My eyes linger on the mess I made. I feel worse now; my actions are that of a damn colt throwing a temper tantrum. I slump back against the wall and await the inevitable. I know I’m in trouble; as I deserve to be. I won’t run though, I’ll face the music.

My eyes close as I hear the pony approach. I don’t really want to see who it is. I should have guessed the guards would get one of my moms. The only real question is: Which one?

“Damn, Taz. Letting off a little steam?”

I smile at that, of course it would be her. “Maybe,” I say as I open up my eyes. Rainbow is sitting right in front of me, her hoof extended in a peace offering. I take it, using it to help myself back up to all four legs.

“It’s not over,” I say as I move past her, hobbling down the hallway.

“You wouldn’t be my son if it was,” Rainbow says matter-of-factly as she presses herself to my side in order to help support some of my weight. For a moment I expect her to wrap a wing around me. Then I remember the truth, she can’t.

Yet another thing I promised I’d fix. Yet another promise I might end up breaking.

“Why?” I ask as she leaves me with the distinct impression that she’s not going away anytime soon.

“Why what?” she asks.

“Why did she do that?”

“Oh, that, right. Taz, Twi is just worried about you and all of Equestria. We went in half-cocked and got our flanks kicked, badly. She doesn’t want anything bad to happen again, much less to you.”

“It’s not Nighttide’s fault,” I say.

“Isn’t it?” Those two words earn her a death glare from me. “Hey, calm down, I’m on your side, remember? I just want you to think about it, try and see things from her perspective for a change,” she says as we continue together down the hallway.

“Her perspective can take a flying leap off a cliff for all I care,” I reply sourly. The only perspective I care about is that my mom had the mare I love arrested. What else matters?

“I know you feel that way now, but-” We stop walking when I raise a hoof right in her path, interrupting whatever she was about to say.

“No buts, mom. This is… this is something I know, something I can feel in my heart. When I was down there, when I closed the portal, Eros sent Cadance to me, she was the one that enabled us to escape. She said that what I did down there was an act of true love; one that even a God took note of. I know I’m young and you all probably think I don’t know what I’m talking about, but… but I love her mom. I know that she loves me too. I will be with her, always and forever.”

I look into my mother’s eyes as I say the next part, “I’d make ten more trips into Tartarus for her. For her I will stand up against everypony.”

There’s a long pause; she then smiles at me as she presses her muzzle against my own. “I believe you,” she says as we start walking together once more.

“Can you convince Twilight of the truth?” I ask, hopefully.

“Oh no, that’s your battle to fight,” she snickers.

“Mom!” I’m about to pout again when I hear her laughing at me.

“Don’t mom me, you love her right?”

“Of course.”

“Then fight for her, keep fighting until you win. If you want Twi to see the truth; you’re going to have to make her see it. You’ll have to make her see that she cannot separate you two. Think of it like a challenge; you know the reward if you win, so you have to ask yourself if you’re willing to go the distance.”

“I already went to Tartarus and back for her.”

“Then it would be pretty lame to call it quits now, huh?”

“Mom, please don’t use words like lame.”

“Hey, when I was your age… Oh Luna, I just said that, didn’t I?”

“Yep,” I say as she rubs a hoof through my mane.

“Listen here you little numbskull. I’m not the greatest at giving advice and in your horseshoes I’d probably be charging the prison full steam; not that I recommend doing that by the way. But we happen to be related to some of the smartest ponies I’ve ever known in my life. If you want to show Twi how you really feel, to convince her that she’s wrong, you’re going to have to be smart about it. So why don’t you ask some ponies with a little experience?”

“Like who?” I ask as I look over to her.

“Them,” she gestures down the hallway. I see then where she led me; she led me straight to the medical wing of the palace. Through each door is a different family member I can ask for help, and maybe, just maybe find some way to get Nighttide back.

“Thanks, mom,” I say with a small smile.

“I know you can do it, Taz,” Rainbow says as she turns away and starts heading back. “And don’t worry; I’ll have the hallway cleaned up before she sees.”

I lower my head and my ears press flat against my head at that.

I watch her leave and then turn around to look down the hallway. The first door on the right is my niece's room, Vela’s. I know I can find my oldest sister there as well; after all, where else would she be? Down the hall from that is Night’s room. I do need to pay her a visit and at least let her know I was successful. I’m pretty sure she already knows I’m back.

Across from Vela’s room is the twin’s, I need to deliver the message to them about what happened, what Cadance wants them to know. Between Flash and Night’s room is Dayspring’s. I’m pretty sure I can find Radiant Star there as well.

“Well, let’s see what they say.” I make up my mind to start with Aurora. So I head to the first room on my right. Raising a hoof I open the door and walk inside.

What I see shocks me; Vela is awake and actually sitting up on the bed. Aurora is lying on her left side, little Dayspring on her right.

“Taz, nice to see you,” Vela says as she flashes me a small smile.

Her voice is weak, the voice of somepony still recovering from their injuries. Who should by all rights be asleep.

“Vela, how are you doing?” I ask the dumb question. I know how she’s doing, that much is obvious, yet I think you're supposed to ask that. I have no idea why.

“She woke up yesterday.” Aurora answers my question for Vela as she places a hoof around her daughter.

Dayspring crawls off the bed and hugs me. I welcome him and wrap my own hoof around his back. “I was so worried,” the little hippogriff cries a little as he says that. “You were gone for days.”

“Days?” I ask. Then it dawns upon me, “Time moves slower in Tartarus…” My choice to let Nighttide rest down there, she was asleep for hours. Every hour there was six and a half here. I didn’t keep the watch but it could’ve easily been ten hours. That would be over three days here.

“Is Night in trouble?” I ask Aurora.

She shakes her head. “There’s not much they can do to her. She’s stuck in bed already and while she did take it hard, she was relieved more than anypony when Ana sensed the portal open up.”

“I’ll go see her next,” I say. “But what abou-” A shaking head tells me not to touch on that subject. I look again, Vela is awake, but I can see the marks of dried tears running down her face. Siros’s Vengeance is still held tightly in her claw. I doubt she’s put it down yet. Part of me wonders if she ever will.

She’s not doing well, that much is obvious.

It’s strange to see her like this, from the few times I saw her I knew she was always so damn proud, so confident, and yet… yet now I don’t see any of that. I simply see a little girl that now has to grow up without her father. I hobble over and make my way up onto the bed. I wrap a hoof around Vela and hug her for all I’m worth.

She starts crying again. I can feel her sobbing on my shoulders as I hold her. There are no words, words are meaningless right now. Only actions count now and I chose mine well.

The room is silent for several minutes. Only when I feel her body stop sobbing, either because she was out of tears, or because she was too tried to keep it up, only then do I release her. She lies back with the oddest expression on her face, she’s smiling at me.

“Did you?” she’s unable to finish the question as she’s simply too tired to do so.

I don’t need to hear the rest though, “Yes, I found her, I brought her back.” I say with a smile.

I did that, that is my accomplishment, nopony else's.

“Where is she?” Aurora asks.

I frown at that. I knew the question was coming, but that didn’t make it any easier to hear. “That’s why I’m here,” I speak the words with my head held low; “Mom had her arrested.”

“You let that stand?” Vela looked at me, surprised.

“No, the royal guard that pinned me to the ground let that stand. Those fuckers are tough.”

“Taz said a bad word,” Dayspring said. Vela simply raised her right claw in a gesture for Dayspring to crawl up and lay by her side, an invitation he did not need two of.

“You’re trying to figure out what to do next,” Aurora said, it was not a question.

Even still, I nod my head to her.

“Tell me what happened,” Aurora says. I do, I recant everything I went through down there, even my run in with Cadance. They all look at me in shock at that. It’s a fantastic tale, one I think I’ll end up repeating at least once more before this is over.

“Starlight’s going to be so happy,” Vela says as she closes her eyes. I can tell she needs to get back to sleep. Dayspring’s already passed out on her side. “She always said you two were meant to be together.”

“That’s what I’m trying for anyway.”

I look at Aurora. She seems to be concentrating on something, her brow is creased and her eyes are closed. After some time she finally speaks up, “You know you owe mom an apology.”

I sigh, “When Nighttide is once more by my side, I’ll apologize; until then my words stand.” There’s conviction in my voice. I know I speak the truth and I know she knows it as well.

Aurora smiles at me, “Should I be jealous?”

I find myself chuckling at that. I almost forgot about that, about Night outing me the way she did. It wasn’t that long ago but it feels like a lifetime since then and now.

“You’ll always be more than just a sister to me,” I say as I look her in the eye. “However, even I knew it would never happen. I’ve always known but I couldn’t deny my feelings either. You’ll forever be the first mare I ever loved but Nighttide is…”

It’s funny, even after everything I did I still cannot find the words. Love just seems… inadequate.

She opens a hoof to me and I walk over to accept, careful not to wake up Vela who fell asleep sometime during my conversation with Aurora. Aurora’s grip feels nice, although it’s not the same as when I’m with Nighttide, that just feels… different.

“Who knew my brother would find his true love this early on. Especially with his little… quirks,” Aurora winks at me when she says the last word.

“True love?” I ask.

“Cadance used to tell me, she’d always say we’re all meant for one soul out there, be they young, old, mare, stallion, griffin, or whatever, there’s somepony out there that we simply resonate with. She called that one our true love. She also said that we’d always share some connection with that soul, even if we aren’t aware of it.”

“She told me what I did was an act of true love.”

“Your heart led you to her, correct?” she asks me.

I nod; it’s more or less correct.

“Then keep listening to it, it’ll tell you what to do.”

“You know that is criminally unhelpful, right?” I ask with a deadpan expression on my face.

She smiles at me, “Most advice is; however, I think if you follow this one it’ll lead you where you want to go.”

“Thanks,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

“You asked,” she replies with a smile as I climb off the bed, careful not to disturb any of the sleeping ponies.

“Sis?” I say as I turn my head to look back at her before leaving the room.

“Yea?”

“Thanks, you know, for not freaking out.”

She giggles at me, “To be honest I was a little flattered, although in the end it was Ataxia that helped put things in perspective for me. Plus I’ve done my own fair share of things before I found out how you felt that might be considered taboo, so I wasn’t in any position to judge.”

“Oh, like what?” I ask. I knew about the event in the forest, but this was new information altogether.

“I’ll tell you another day,” she says with a grin as she strokes her daughter’s head. “Maybe in a few years. But let’s just say I really do love preening.”

A small groan at being kept in the dark escapes me as I walk out the door. I lightly shut it behind me, careful not to be too loud.

My next stop is down the hall and to the left. When I open the door to my parent’s former bedroom the first thing that happens is a unicorn almost bowling me over in her rush to hug me.

“Taz!” Ana shouts.

“Hey,” I say back, blushing at how hard she’s hugging me.

“Grandma said we were to stay in our rooms, that we couldn’t come out until she dealt with whatever was coming through the portal. I knew it was you though, I just knew it!” Her tears make me feel bad about what happened. Ana has shed way too many tears over me already, these are just adding to it.

I’m forced to endure it a while longer as she refuses to let me go. Her grip hurts my shoulder but compared with how much pain I’ve caused everypony I can’t really complain. With a sigh I give in, letting her have this moment. I start to look around while she’s holding me. To my surprise Starlight is up. I see her sitting up on the bed looking at me with a smile. She’s still wrapped in a few bandages, but they’re nowhere near as numerous as before.

“Hey,” Starlight says in a dry voice.

“Hey yourself,” I say back, it’s one more thing I feel guilty about; they were all injured coming to rescue me. In a way it’s my fault.

No, it’s not my fault. I remember Cadance’s words. I have a heavy burden already, no need to add to that with self-blame.

On the other side of the room I see Night and Ataxia. Both mares are lying in bed looking at me with a smile. Well, Night has a smile and a look like she wants to kick my teeth in. How it’s possible to display both of those emotions at the same time I’ll never know.

“Ana,” I say as I look down at the mare that refuses to let me go, “I need to talk with Night.”

“Last time you said that you went missing for three and a half days,” she replies with a muffled voice and an increased grip.

“Little help?” I ask Ataxia.

She just laughs at me, “After what you put her though? Forget it; you deserve it for that little stunt with the portal.”

“She told you…” I look down at that.

“Taz, everypony knows what happened. You have no idea just how worried we all were; how upset you made everypony when you didn’t take your one way back. Night almost killed herself trying to open another one. It was Twilight that stopped her. And trust me, it didn’t go down easily,” she gives Night a glare. “Twilight had to throw herself on Night in order to stop her, plus or minus a few dozen guards.”

Night looked away from me at those words. I could tell they were the truth, regardless of how much I didn’t want them to be true.

That’s the thing about the truth, it has a way of simply being true, regardless if you want it to be or not.

“Looks like I owe everypony an apology,” I say with my head hung low. “Ana, I’m sorry that I made you worry, please know that I never meant to.”

At those words she finally releases me and wipes a tear from her eye. “I accept your apology.”

I was never in doubt that she would. “Starlight, I’m sorry you were injured, I know what happened was because you all came to rescue me. I just want to say I’m sorry you got hurt, and that I’m thankful for having such great friends.”

She smiles at me, it seems to cause her pain, but even still she smile.

“Ataxia, Night, I’m not sorry for what I did in Tartarus.”

That causes both of their jaws to drop and I see Ataxia starting to glare at me. “You little, unnerving piece of…” Ataxia almost goes off on a tirade, but Night’s hoof makes her shut up.

“I’m not sorry; given a hundred do-overs I wouldn’t change a thing. I made a vow to go back and find her, and I did. I simply needed more time to get all of her. When you opened the portal I had her body but not her mind. I had to close it so I could get her mind back. I’ll never apologize for that.”

Before any of them could speak again I raise a hoof for them to stop. “I do want to thank you though, sis. I know what you did couldn’t be easy, I know it took a lot out of you, and caused you to get in trouble with mom. So let me say thanks, thanks for believing in me, for allowing me the opportunity to fulfill my promise. I’ll always be grateful for that, and… and I forgive you for what happened in the past.”

It’s funny, I’ve heard it said before that carrying around hate, that carrying around a grudge against what others have done to you can be the heaviest burden to bear, and that only by releasing that burden do we truly set ourselves free. Now… now I know it, I feel better by forgiving her.

I hope I can forgive my mom soon; I want to, I just can’t while Nighttide is locked up on her orders.

Night holds out her hooves to hug me, I hobble over and take the hug, enjoying the warmth I feel in it. She’s hot, I can tell that much. Part of me wonders, if she’s like this, just how much pain Timespire must be in. I hope tons; then again I’m sure he’s returning to Tartarus as often as he can to heal back up.

Assuming Red is letting him that is. If I had to guess I’d say he’s bucked.

“So where’s Nighttide?” Ataxia asks with her usual tact; that being none at all.

I don’t even have to turn around, I can feel Ana’s ears perk up at the mention of her name. “Mom had her arrested, that’s why I’m here.”

“Taz, I’m not going to break her out of her cell,” Night says.

“No, nothing like that. I’m pretty sure that she can escape on her own, yet she doesn’t. Or she isn’t trying to. I’m not going to let this stand though. I’ll do whatever it takes to set her free, I just don’t know what to do.”

“Why don’t you just take her and run?” Ataxia asks, earning herself a fetlock in the gut for that comment.

“I promised her a family; I want you guys to be it. If we ran, if I broke her out and we eloped, she wouldn’t have that. It would just break another promise and I won’t do that,” tears start to form in my eyes as I say those words.

“A family?” I hear the voice squeak out from behind me.

I cringe; it hurt to hear her say those two words like that. My head droops lower, my eyes shut. I can’t deny it anymore. It was pointed out to me that Ana loves me in much the same way that I loved Aurora.

Taking a deep breath I raise my head and turn around to look at her. Ana looks hurt, almost as if she’s been visibly struck by me. In a way I guess she has been. My next words may bridge that gap or break her heart, but she deserves nothing less.

“Ana, I-”

A hoof stops me, her hoof. She smiles a sad smile at me and wraps me in a hug, I can feel her breathing. “I know, Taz. I’ve always known.” She pulls back and looks at me. “I might not like it, but if it makes you happy, I will be happy. Please, let me have this though. Let me feel this at least one time.”

Her next actions shock me; she grabs my muzzle and pulls me in for a kiss. I feel the pressure she’s putting in it, I feel the love she has for me, but I’m not able to return any of it. I simply do not feel that way about her.

When she pulls back there is another tear in her eye, another tear she cries because of me. “What are you still doing here, you big dummy? Go, get her back.”

“Ana I-”

“After all, if she won your heart she must be a special pony. Now go. It’s okay”

“Ana…”

“Go!” She practically shoves me out the door. When it closes behind me I have no choice but to ignore what I hear on the other side. She breaks down sobbing. I have to ignore it or I’ll never leave. It pains me to do so, it truly does.

“Nighttide,” I say the word like it’s all I need to do, like simply saying it will cause her to teleport in front of me.

It won’t and she doesn’t, of course.

As I start to hobble back down the hallway I hear the one noise I truly didn’t expect to hear right now, laughter. It’s coming from my brother’s room. Ana may have stopped me from talking to Night, but I still need answers.

“What’s going on in here?” I ask as I push the door open. I see them then; Dayspring is sitting on his bed with Radiant. Together they’re watching Blaze perform his one-pony show for them. It’s a classic and I do hate to interrupt, but I kinda have something more important to discuss with them.

“Hey Taz!” Dayspring shouts out, Radiant just gives me a quick nod.

“Taz!” Blaze shouts out.

“Blaze would you mind getting your brother, I have something to tell you two.”

“Oh, okay,” Blaze says as he walks by me and off to the next room.

“You don’t seem too surprised to see me, Day,” I say with a smile at my brother.

“You forget Taz; I’ve been your mentor for eight years now. I knew you’d find a way out of Tartarus. Let me guess, Nighttide?”

I nod my head at that, “But not in the way you might expect. She… Cadance healed her actually.”

That got Radiant’s attention in a big way. “Mom, but…”

Again I find myself nodding, “She is, Eros sent her to me, she healed Nighttide’s wounds and that’s what let us escape. Also, Radiant, she gave me a message for you, and the twins.”

“Grandma?” I hear a voice from behind me. Turning around I see Flash hobbling inside. His movement is slowed by the cast, but it shouldn’t be too much longer until it comes off.

“Cadance said… she said it isn’t your fault, Radiant. She doesn’t blame you for any of what happened. In fact, she’s with Firestar and Shining right now. They all love you and they’re proud of you, all three of you. Flash, Blaze, she said that you should always believe in everything you do; that there’s no limit to what you two can accomplish. She also said they both miss all three of you.”

I look at Radiant before I say the next part. The last part of the message is a little embarrassing to say but I did promise. “Cadance also said that Firestar is especially proud of you and that she loves you dearly. She sends you kisses,” I blush a bit at that part.

“Was that really from…?” Flash tries to ask with tears in his eyes.

“Yes,” I say before both his brother and he hug me at the same time. Radiant soon follows the example of his sons.

“Thank you,” I hear Radiant say through my mane.

“She did so much for me; I wanted to return the favor. I know it’s not much but it was the least I can do.”

I can’t help it, I’m crying now too.

When they pull back, I actually miss it. It felt nice to be hugged like that. In a way, it reminds me of the last hug Nighttide gave me before…

My mood goes sour at that.

“So I take it mom had Nighttide arrested?” Dayspring asks.

“She what?!” Radiant shouts. His reaction somewhat surprises me, I figured he’d be on my mom’s side. Maybe I won him over by giving him the message?

“She did,” I speak the words through the final tears I shed. “I’m not going to let it stand though.”

“Oh?” Dayspring asks, “What are you going to do about it?”

“Something, dammit anything!” I shout as I kick back against the wall.

Pain, pain, oh sweet Luna, that was the wrong bucking leg to kick out with. I bite my lower lip and do my best to suck it up. I’m done crying, I’m done!

“That had to hurt,” Flash says with a sour expression on his face.

“You think?” I say through gritted teeth.

The next thing I feel is a sharp poke on my flank. Looking back I see a syringe surrounded by purple magic injecting something into me.

“Dayspring, what the hell?!”

“Relax, it won’t put you to sleep, it’ll just numb the pain. You could really use a bit of sense. I’m betting you were too hardheaded to let the docs give you anything.”

I’m not sure what was in the syringe but my leg feels better almost instantly. As he pulls it out and I rub the tender spot with a hoof. However, my leg already stops hurting. “Thanks,” I say with a slight nod.

“Now, about your issue with Nighttide,” Dayspring states.

“Yes?”

“I just have one question for you.”

“Yes, I love her, alright.”

“I already knew that.”

That takes me aback. “Then… what’s your question?”

“Why aren’t you with her now?”

He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Like the solution is simply that easy, as if to say, ‘if you want to be by her side; then go be by her side’.

“Twilight locked her up,” I say the words, not knowing what will come next.

“So? When has a locked door ever stopped you?”

My mind goes empty at that… I really cannot think of anything to say.

“So?” he restates with a bucking smile on his face.

My mind draws a blank. I can’t think of any reply to that, nothing that I cannot shoot down anyway. It can’t be that easy though, it just can’t.

Can it?

“I… I…”

I’m stumped at that, it’s not that easy, or is it? Could it be just that simple? Just go to her, stay by her side. Make my mom face the fact that she can’t separate us. Nopony can see me if I don’t want them to, nopony can stop me from going where I want.

“Taz?”

I hate him, I truly do. How can he have seen something so easy when I’ve been wracking my brain with it ever since…

“I think you broke him,” Radiant says with a laugh.

“Anypony home?” Flash says as he runs a hoof over my eyes.

I close my eyes and release a breath I wasn’t aware I was holding. I notice the sun is starting to go down by the shadows playing across the floor. With a smile on my face I look up. “Thanks, Sun-, brother.”

“Anytime,” Dayspring says as I look inward, finding my power.

To me nothing changes, to them I’m gone, I simply disappear, almost like I teleported away. Part of the fun of being me, part of me being special, and now I’m proud of it.

I know where I’m going. I’m going exactly where my heart wants me to go, and not even the Gods themselves can bucking stop me.

Author's Notes:

Accept what you can’t change, change what you can’t accept.