Chapter 31

Dave shot of the table as steaming coffee was poured down his open mouth, “WHAT THE HELL?” he yelled as he waved air into his burning gob

“Ah you’re awake” Luna laughed as Dave climbed to his feet “You kept falling asleep so we decided to give you something to help”

Dave frowned at the ponies around the room “Thanks… I guess” Dave rubbed his mouth as it continued to sting “So how is everypony doing?”

“Better now we know you are alive” Rarity smiled warmly at him and so did the others

“Umm… ok that’s good to hear” Dave stood, his legs almost buckled beneath him and leaned against the wall behind him “So what does everypony want to do?”

Celestia raised her hooves to silence the ponies as their mouths opened in unison “One at a time please, Sister you may go first then the others”

Luna smiled warmly at her sister and even warmer at Dave “I was going to show you something, would you come by my quarters this evening?”

Dave shrugged “I can’t see why not” Dave slowly turned his head to Rarity who sat eagerly awaiting her turn

“I got in contact with an old friend, Fancy Pants” Rarity smiled as Dave shrugged again “And I got us a place in his VIP box for the wonderbolts derby”

Dave scratched his head “Fancy Pants? Well I can tell he must be very important,” Dave muttered to himself before turning back to Rarity, “Sounds like fun”

Rarity squeaked slightly in excitement as she jumped from her chair and to the door, “I will see you outside in ten minutes?”

Dave looked at the others “Umm… sure, we can do some stuff tomorrow right?”

The girls all nodded sadly, Luna and Celestia both smiled at him as he walked away

Dave followed the corridors until he reached the front gate and stepped out onto the quiet courtyard, three privates were running round the edge while Strong Shield stood in the middle

“Get a move on!” he barked, “You have only done thirty one laps!”

Dave grinned as he jogged over “Hey, how many laps have they got left?”

Strong Shield allowed a weak smile as Dave stopped beside him “four hundred and sixty nine” Dave sniggered at the sixty-nine, Strong Shield raised an eyebrow “What’s so funny?”

“It’s… never mind” Dave shook his head “Anyway I am going to a derby with Rarity, to see a Fancy Pants or somepony”

“Fancy Pants?” Strong Shield hummed “Well don’t let those uptight ponies bully you ok?”

“I won’t” Dave help up his hands “Should I remember my pleases and thank you’s?”

Strong Shield raised another eyebrow but ended up smiling slightly again “I didn’t raise you to be like this”

“Aww you never let me have any fun” Dave said in a childish tone before he started laughing along with the unicorn

“Just be back before night fall” Strong Shield yelled some more motivation at the tired rookies

“I case I get mugged?”

“No in case you hurt the muggers” Strong Shield rolled his eyes “Just don’t get lost, hurt or killed”

“But that is most of what I do!” Dave joked as the castle doors opened again

Rarity stepped out wearing a massive blue hat that easily shielded her from the sun “I’m ready!” she sang as she descended the white steps

Dave wondered how the hat managed to stay on her head as she bounced down to meet him “So do you know where you are going?”

“Why of course darling” Rarity began to push Dave to the courtyard exit “I know Canterlot better than anypony”

Dave waved goodbye to Strong Shield as he was hurried from the courtyard and into the busy upper-class streets

Dave nodded to the standing guards as he followed the unicorn “So what is this Fancy Pants like?”

“He is nice, charming and very important” Rarity stopped to look in a shop window “You should be fine as long as you are friendly”

“I am always friendly” Dave exclaimed

“Oh you know… try and be shy,” She continued past the window when she saw nothing of interest

“Why?” Dave followed closely beside her, ignoring the stares from the rich and famous

Rarity beckoned Dave closer “These ponies like to feel superior, through connections, wealth or even physical appearance” Rarity whispered into Dave’s ear, she looked around before closing in again “Some say that’s why Fancy Pants married Fleur de Lis”

“Is she hot?” Dave asked casually, he smiled nervously as Rarity glared at him “I-I mean… by popular opinion is she attractive?”

“Well yes quite” Rarity continued to lead Dave down toward the large stadium “You will know who she is and who Fancy Pants is soon enough”

“Alright…” Dave sighed as he followed her into the stadium and up the large stairs to the private boxes up top

The crowds of ponies gasped and stared at Dave as he walked past, as they reached the largest VIP area a unicorn guard stood in the way

Rarity stopped “Fancy Pants should show up in a minute to let us in”

“He might be a while” Dave looked up as he heard giggles from above, a strong male voice leading the others

“Like I said, a short wait” Rarity sighed as she played with her hat

Dave looked at the guard “Alright?”

The guard looked at Dave “Yes Dave and you?”

“Not to bad…” Dave stroked his chin “Can we go in?”

“For you no problem” The guard levitated the rope out of the way

“Cheers” Dave nodded to the guard as he walked up the stairs, Rarity gawping as she followed

“I’ll go first” Rarity rushed ahead “Just wait a moment”

Dave rolled his eyes as he stopped before the turning at the top of the stairs

“Ah Rarity, how good it is to see you again” Dave heard an extremely posh voice call quickly followed by mumbles of agreement

“Hello again everypony” Rarity smiled “I have brought a friend along, I hope you don’t mind”

“Not at all, it is always lovely to meet a new face” the voice called again followed by yet more agreement

“Ok just warn you he is a little… different” Rarity looked awkwardly at Dave out the corner of her eye

Dave walked up the rest of the stairs as Fancy Pants continued to talk “No matter I am sure that GOODNESS GRATIOUS ME!”

Fancy Pants’ monocle fell from his eye and the ponies around him shred his gasp as Dave came into full view and Dave waved nervously

Fancy Pants replaced his monocle “Well I say this is certainly different” he trotted over “Where did you find this… thing?”

Dave flinched at the last word, Rarity noticed and quickly jumped in “Dave here is from another world and he has had a tough time”

“Dave? Certainly an odd name” Fancy Pants was accompanied by another wave of agreement from various posh ponies around the VIP box

Rarity laughed nervously “Yes well I’m sure Dave is normal for his world”

“Definitely… I do say doesn’t he look angry, is that natural?” Fancy Pants clearly mistook the large frown on Dave’s face for a race difference

“He is just a bit thirsty” Rarity pushed Dave over to the drinks table and whispered to him again “What are you doing?”

“Me? Nothing apparently I am some dumb creature to these ponies” Dave glared at the posh group as they laughed loudly amongst themselves

“Listen stay here, cool off then come over and say hello” Rarity passed Dave a glass of champagne before trotting away

Dave glared at the bubbles in his drink, his back turned to the others, and the bubbles twisted and formed a familiar pair of flat eyes

“Twist right and stab the tall mare in the back of the head with that wine glass,” Odio growled quietly

Dave held the glass close to his chest, he turned and saw a tall mare, Fleur de Lis by the way she hung around Fancy Pants like a fly to a corpse

“What the hell?” Dave whispered quietly when he was sure nopony was listening

“What? I have had to stay quiet for a while now… I need to make up for lost time” The eyes shook “Now backflip and snap the popular one’s neck”

“No Odio” Dave sighed as he swigged the wine “I’ll speak later”

Dave turned and walked to the group of talking ponies, the niggling temptations to kill from Odio made his walk harder

“Ah Dave” Fancy Pants sighed “Are you feeling better?”

“Much better thank you” Dave smiled, receiving a few gasps

“It can talk?” One of the stallions gaped

Fancy Pants quietened everypony down “now give it some space, tell me Dave… what do you do on your world?”

Dave laughed lightly, “Nothing, my royal servants provide everything” He smirked as the ponies’ ears all pricked up “I am a prince on my world and I had just finished vanquishing some evil forces I decided to try my magical powers at teleportation, I ended up here”

The ponies all muttered amongst themselves but then they all moved around Dave “What is your kingdom like?” A mare asked

“Vast, as much as you can imagine” Dave had to refrain from giggling as the ponies bought his lies

Fancy Pants stepped before Dave “Well I must say that we jumped to conclusions”

“Yeah you did” Dave shattered the glass in his hand as he gripped tightly “So next time I suggest you be nice to ponies before finding out if their assets are worthy or not”

The ponies gasped at this sudden outburst “Guard!” one called, the guard hurried up the stairs, stopping at the top, looked at the angry Dave and quickly retreated

“I’m not royal by the way” Dave wiped broke glass from his hand “But I have done many, many things since I have been here that your selfish mind can’t comprehend “

Fancy Pants foolishly stepped forwards “After that first ridiculous lie why should I believe you?”

Dave chuckled “the reason the guard decided to leave may have something to do with me beating the hell out of a goddamn dragon!”

“A d-dragon?” Fancy Pants dropped his monocle again, “I apologise Dave for my rudeness this evening”

Dave sighed loudly “I’m sorry I lost my temper” He chuckled “being called ‘thing’ and ‘creature’ get on my nerves”

They both shook hands like gentlemen and got into a conversation, Dave gave Rarity a reassuring smile before continuing his talk with the talkative stallion

“So do they have tea and scones on your world?” Fancy Pants asked as a servant brought a tray over

Dave chuckled “Yes we do, very popular with my part of the world… well that and top hats if you take the stereotype into account“”

“Would you like a top hat?” Fancy Pants leaned towards a servant

“No thanks” Dave looked out of the box and down onto the cloud race track “I bet the bluely one will win”

Fancy Pants smiled “I doubt that… now tell me more about your adventures” he sat quietly while Fleur de Lis came and rested on his shoulder “They are very riveting”

“Well ok I can just tell you about the time I died, once this race is over” Dave gazed out the window while everypony gave confused glances at each other

A loud horn blasted and the row of pegasi bolted forwards easily gaining speed as they rounded the first corner and a commentator began to yell in excitement

“And there goes Slipspeed but wait here comes Fleetfoot!” The crowed cheered as the commentator announced a change in position “And Fleetfoot wins again!”

Dave fell back into his chair as his racer lost “Ah well” he sighed “Better luck next time I guess”

Fancy Pants nodded “We can’t win them all” he was echoed by the ponies around him “Do you have anything planned this evening? I have a small gathering planned I was wondering if you would care to join us”

“I am afraid I have to refuse, I have to go see Lu… Princess Luna” Dave stood and shook Fancy Pants’ hoof “Thank you for the offer though”

Dave said goodbye to the upper class as he followed Rarity out of the stadium “Good to see you didn’t lose your temper too much” Rarity sighed as the exited onto the streets of Canterlot

“Well they were calling me ‘thing’ I’m not a thing I am just like them… kinda” Dave stretched as Rarity shook her head

“But they are important” Rarity looked over at Dave “They hold some influence over public opinion”

“I don’t care what other ponies think” Dave shrugged “Just because a few ponies don’t like me does that mean you don’t?”

Rarity gasped, “Of course not I think you are better than anything!”

“So why do I have to care if my friends like me?” Dave raised an eyebrow as Rarity slowly nodded

“I suppose you are right” She turned onto the long broad path leading to the castle

Dave waved at the guards and they opened the large gates

“Anyway I am going to see if Luna is waiting for me” Dave walked through the open courtyard and into the castle

“Ok well I shall see you at lunch” Rarity split and walked in a different direction, most likely going to find her friends

Dave walked up most of the stairs and changed stairways to ones that would take him to Luna’s quarters

Dave approached the door and knocked gently, nodding to the guards as he did so

“Enter!” Luna called from behind the door

Dave stepped in and the serious faced Luna smiled “Hiya am I too early?”

“No not at all!” Luna nervously used magic to tidy the room, books and scrolls flying around the air distracted Dave as she slipped a scroll under a wing “I have a surprise for you”

Dave gulped slightly “Umm… ok thanks” He stood close to the door

“Make yourself comfortable I just need to use the bathroom” Luna winked as she trotted in closing the door behind her

Dave nervously sat on the large purple sofa that sat opposite the bathroom door “Comfortable Psh” Dave muttered as he squirmed uneasily

“Even though I am not you, I feel uncomfortable,” Odio whispered into his mind “And by the way I hate you a little more”

“Why?” Dave whispered

“That all day marathon you had with Celestia made me puke… if I could” Odio hummed slightly “What I mean to say is I found it revolting”

Dare failed to notice a burst of light from under the bathroom door as he rolled his eyes “Whatever get over it” Dave rubbed his eyes as the bathroom door opened

“No I will not… oh” Odio rummaged in Dave’s mind “So that’s the surprise”

“Oh Dave?” Luna called softly

Dave looked up, the door was open but Luna wasn’t visible, he saw the glow of her glowing horn and the lights dimmed, the door locked and the curtains closed

“Now where have we seen this before?” Odio whispered as he faded away

Dave looked around the darker room, he certainly was not comfortable “Umm, Luna?” Dave called out nervously “Where are you?”

Luna stepped into the doorway, throwing a scroll aside as she leaned her back against the doorway and rubbed her body with her hands

“What the fuck?” Dave gasped quietly as he saw Luna’s new form

Luna had a human body, everything except her head and legs were human, her large wings still sprouted from her back

“Do I look good?” She smiled as she looked at her hands and played with her fingers

Dave noticed her body was still covered with dark fur and she now had rather large breasts

As Dave’s gaze passed over Luna’s chest he slapped a hand over his eyes to stop him looking as her ran for the door

Dave couldn’t tell how close the door was as he ran into it, recovering he hopelessly attempted the door handle

Dave felt Luna’s new arms wrap around him, her fingers exploring his chest as her naked body was pressed against his back

“See how much I care?” Luna whispered softly into his ear

“Listen I think this is REALLY awkward” Dave turned and pushed himself as close to the door as he could

Luna placed her new arms either side of his head “Don’t worry I can make everything better” Luna sighed seductively

Dave raised his arms to push her away but it would involve grabbing certain parts of her body so he swerved around her to avoid contact

“Listen I um… like the body but it doesn’t suit you” Dave walked backwards but fell backwards onto the bed

Luna took the chance to pounce onto of him “Well I changed myself for you rather than force a change onto you like my sister did”

“She has a point,” Odio quickly whispered

“Well I appreciate the thought but you have to… to” Dave struggled for words as Luna began playing with her chest

“What are these?” She asked as she grabbed them

Dave began to sweat “Um… those are called boobs, Could you stop touching them please?”

Luna dropped her hands to Dave’s wrists “Of course… you should touch them first” she smiled as she grabbed Dave’s wrists and forced his hands up

As his palms made contact Dave gasped loudly, “THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT”

Dave grabbed Luna’s waist and flipped her over onto the bed and shot to his feet, he dived for the balcony doors

“I thought you would have liked this,” Luna said sadly as she climbed to her hooves “I didn’t have time to perfect it but…”

Dave opened the balcony doors and slipped through shutting them behind him, Luna ran over but Dave held them tightly shut

“How long will this last?” Dave asked as he stopped the handles from turning

“About an hour” Luna pressed her body against the glass “Just enough time”

Dave avoided looking at Luna “I am not going to sleep with you” he quickly peeked at her “Even if your body is human”

Luna’s fingers tapped the glass “Why not?” Her eyes blinked slowly “You were killed by my sister, allow me to make it up to you”

Dave chuckled “Oh she more than made up” As Dave realized what he said, he looked at a shocked Luna

“Celestia mated with you?” Luna gasped

“No… sorta… ok a lot” Dave admitted “So I can’t do it with you otherwise it would be damaging to the relationship”

Luna pondered for a moment “Why not have us both?”

“Excuse me?”

“NO! Both would drive me mad,” Odio blurted in quickly

“You love Celestia and me so why not have us both… I’m sure she wouldn’t mind” Luna stroked the glass between them

“Isn’t that slightly frowned upon? A large relationship group?” Dave did not notice his grip loosen on the door handle

“No, most ponies are normally happy with one but… I need you” Luna opened the doors quickly and threw herself at Dave’s feet “Please” she begged as she hugged tightly

Dave looked around uneasily “Umm… we need to talk to your sister first”

Luna’s horn glowed dimly “Sister I need you,” she said to herself

Suddenly a flash of white appeared beside them, Celestia stood next to them, a shocked face showing her surprise at the sight before her

“Can either of you explain this to me?” Celestia was not showing much concern at her sister’s new appearance

“I want a harem” Luna begged, “It isn’t fair that you have him all”

Celestia sighed as she trotted inside “We need to talk”

Dave looked down at Luna who still clung to his leg “Can you let go? You don‘t work at a strip club”