Chapter 1: Wait seriously?

I have a decent life now. I've moved out of that crappy apartment and said goodbye to my annoying roommate forever. I got a huge promotion at my office job and with it came many new things. For one, my work schedule became less cluttered, due to me working from home now and my salary has grown enough to fully support my junk food and video games among other things, with plenty to spare. Now I'm living in a 4 bedroom house, and driving a decent car. But despite all this new stuff... I still felt kinda....empty.

You see, I'm not the most social person in public. I'm not nessecarily antisocial, I'm just not the guy to seek out and initate conversations. So because of this I don't have an abundance of friends. Honestly I'm not sure if that's the reason for my empty feeling.... It could be a lot of things.... My horrible dating life...my lazy habits.... The fact that my damn house literally has 3 unused rooms....so you know what I did? I bought a cat and gave him the most cliché name I could think of.

His name it tom...

He's an irritating black fur ball, that drives me up the wall sometimes, but I still manage to love him somehow. Despite this, I still feel somewhat empty....like something is missing in my life. Maybe I'll figure it out one day but for now I have more important things to worry about. When I pulled into my driveway I noticed something strange.

The window to my bedroom was WIDE OPEN! I don't fucking remember leaving it open! When do I ever open the Windows anyways? Now I bet my room is full of all kinds of Bullshit bugs, and birds and whatever else managed to crawl in there. I grumbled with annoyance as I grabbed my bag and unlocked the door to my house. When I stepped inside things got even more strange.

It was really dark in the house...not a single light was on and I'm sure that I always at least leave the living room light on because I hate walking into a dark house. So I navigatted across my living room and turned the light back on. I was greeted by Tom.He stared at me indifferently, swishing his tail slightly.

"Did you leave the window open Tom?" I ask jokingly as I give him a gentle pet to which he responds by puring. I chuckled to myself and walked to my kitchen. I'm so lonely that I talk to my damn cat expecting him to respond. As silly as it it I feel like he understand me sometimes, something I think all pet owners relate too.

When I entered my kitchen I noticed more... off... things. Several of my cabinets were left open and when I looked in my fridge I noticed all my lettuce and grapes were gone. After seeing that, there is no doubt that someone is here or has been here. I need to search the house...and close that damn window before Tom gets any ideas and starts frolicking on the fucking roof or something.

I started closing the cabinets and stopped when I heard a loud bang and the sound of breaking glass come from upstairs. Then a second later I heard Tom meow loudly. Fucking cat broke some shit....again.

I started to slowly walk up the stairs. I'm still a little paranoid that someone broke in but in reality I'm pretty sure I forgot that I left shit open as usual, besides nothing is missing besides my food. I reached the top of the steps and walked down the hallway past some of the unused bedrooms until I reached my room. The hallway was dark, my room was dark, what's with all the lights being off?? I stepped into my room and turned the lights on. The lights in my room are really bright so it took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust and....wh....what the fuck?

I walked out of the room, waited a few seconds then walked back in.

...

Nope its still there...

I walked out again just in case. But despite my hopes, the purple unicorn was still standing in my room above a broken lamp. It sat completely motionless, staring at me like a deer In headlights. I slowly reached into my pocket to get my phone. The moment I even moved the purple unicorn started to shiver. I'm probably seeing shit but regardless of whether someone took a small horse painted it and glued a horn to its forhead, or there is a real purple unicorn in front of me, I'm calling animal control.

The unicorn started persperating and hyperventilating which I find somewhat strange for a horse. Then the inicorn opened her mouth.

"Um...hi there....."

...

No...

No no...

No no no..

Hell no!

That thing did not just talk!

"Sorry about the lamp..."

...

Yep. Calling the police now.

Before I could call anyone, I heard a loud swoosh come from behind me. I quickly turned to see what appeared to be a.... blue horse? I didn't get a good look because barely even a second later it whipped around and a dark blue hoof slammed into my forehead with a loud thwack. My head snapped back and I immediately lost touch to the world around me, passing out before I even hit the floor.

...

Oh my god my head hurts like hell.... What was that? I slowly opened my eyes, my vision was blurry and my head was throbbing. I groaned in pain and looked around. I was in one of my chairs in what appeared to be my living room. My vision finally started to return and I could hear mumbling.

"Is it awake?"

"Yes. ...And it is a HE Princess Luna!"

"I still can't believe you knocked him out... Was that really nessecary?"

"Yes! we believe that our action was completely nessecary Princess Cadance!"

"I think you gave it... I mean him a concussion!"

"Twilight Sparkle was in danger!"

"If anything you were a danger to him sister, you could have killed him..."

"We were not concerned about the creature's well being at the time..."

I was still dazed and confused but now my vision was back fully. And what I saw wasn't very reasureing for my sanity's integrity.

"What....the...hell?" I exclaimed aloud. The 4 figures crowding around me paused. Then they started talking again.

"It talks?"

"I think we should introduce ourselves.."

"Ok!...I'll go first!"

One of the four figures stepped out of the darkness and I gasped in horror. A purple unicorn walked up to me, smiling nervously....why the fuck is this thing smiling at me?? Hell why is it even existing? Did I divide by zero?

"Hi! Im Twilight Sparkle! What's your name?" The unicorn said politely. I stared at it in shock for a couple seconds blinking a few times. Then I started to laugh nervously.

"Ok this is obviously some weird ass dream...." I said out loud to myself. Then the rest of the figures stepped out revealing more fucking talking horses. I jumped in surprise and realized that I couldn't move because I was tied to the chair. I started hyperventilating when I saw that I wasn't tied with rope, but a strange dark blue energy around my wrists. I pulled and struggled with it, only getting more scared with every failed attempt.

"What the hell is going on???" I demand to no one in particular. Then one of the unicorn things stepped forward. This one was tall....like super fucking tall...it made the others seem like mere ponies, hell it was probably taller then me! It had a white coat and pink hair, and magneta eyes that seemed to calm me down slightly. I repeat slightly, this is the weirdest shit I've ever seen in my entire life. I think that I would have awoken already if this was a dream.

"Allow me to explain. I am Princess Celestia, co ruler of Equestria.." She said in a calm manner. I noticed that there was a crown on top of her head. Great....a ROYAL talking unicorn princess.... This shit just keeps getting better and better...

"My faithful student Twilight Sparkle has already introduced herself..." She said as she gestured to the purple unicorn. I nodded sheepishly and kept staring silently.

"This is my niece, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, or just Cadence for short..." Celestia said, gesturing to the pink unicorn. She looked just as scared of me as I was of her, but she managed to smile at me regardless. I flashed the best freindly smile I could and she blushed.

"And this is my little sister, Princess Luna..." Celestia said gesturing to the dark blue unicorn, with light blue hair. She stared at me with a suspicious frown. This one is definitely different from the others. I'm getting all kinds of bad vibs from her and she was the only one that made me legitimatly worried for my safety. And also...wait a second.... That bitch kicked me in the face!

I stayed silent but narrowed my eyes, which only served to make "Luna" look angrier.

"Our arrival in this world was the result of a spell that was cast incorrectly. This home, which I assume belongs to you, was the closest structure to us, so we seeked shelter here..." She explained. I furrowed my brow for a moment.

"Uh....how the hell did you get in through the second story window?" I interrupted. Without saying anything Celestia, Luna and Cadence extended pairs of wings. I gasped again and jumped in my seat.

"F.....f....fucking wings....you have fucking wings..." I sputter with horror. Celestia said nothing, as I started to get nervous. I'm being held captive by 4 talking unicorns and 3 of them have wings! Wouldn't you be a LITTLE scared???

"I originally planned to apologize to the owner of the home for intruding but Luna had...other plans...." Celestia said as she shot her sister a stern look. Luna just rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"I assure you we mean you no harm..." Celestia said with a reassuring smile. I couldn't help but scoff at that.

"You mean me no harm? Oh that's wonderful... Because I feel so safe after being knocked the fuck out, then strapped to a chair with...whatever this blue shit is..." I quip with a frown as I gestured to my tied wrists. Celestia looked sad at my statement, as did the others except Luna, who obviously didn't give a shit. They looked at each other sadly, then Celestia shot Luna another look.

"Release him Luna..." Celestia ordered. Luna looked at her sister like she was insane.

"Release him???"

"You heard me..."

"But... But....sister... What if he..."

"Now..."

Luna looked extremly frustrated. She opened her mouth like she was going to argue but instead she sighed in defeat. Her horn started glowing and suddenly the weird blue things around my wrists disappeared. I immediately shot up out my chair, knocking it over, scaring Twilight and Cadence. Luna narrowed her eyes and started walking toward me. I frowned and balled up my fists. Luna was about to charge at me but Celestia put a hoof in front of her to block her.

"Wait..." Celestia said calmly. I stood there ready until there was a flash of pain in my head. I wincd and moved a hand to rub my forehead. Celestia lowered her hoof and started walking toward me, Her face unreadable and her intentions unknown. My eyes widened and I took a nervous step back. Unfortunately the chair was there so I ended up tripping over it, to Cadence's amusement. Now I was on my back scooting away as she walked around the chair, her horn now glowing a golden color.

"S...stay back..." I whisper as I start to shiver. Then I bumped my head against the wall behind me. Oh crap....

I'm trapped.

Celestia stared down at me indifferently, easily towering over me. Her horn started to glow brightly and I raised my arm to shield my eyes.

Welp ... Killed by a talking winged unicorn princess.... Thats a shity way to go in my book..

Then I started to feel this strange sensation warmly washing over me. It honestly... felt kinda good! The bright light faded and Celestia was still standing over me. Except this time she had a warm welcoming smile. I blinked a few times in confusion then I jumped again when she stuck her hoof out. Apparently she wants to help me up. I doubt that she can actually lift me but I accepted her offer and reached out and grabbed her hoof. I wasn't prepared at all for what happened next.

She effortlessly lifted me off the ground and onto my feet, using one leg! It was honestly kind of jarring...

"Oh I apologize... Sometimes I dont know my own strength..." She said with a giggle. Ok...so she's stronger then me....yep...just keeps getting better! Now I'm left feeling...strange.

"W...what did you do to me?" I asked worriedly.

"I simply used a healing spell to ease your headache..." She said with a smile. My eyes widened and I realized that I was still holding onto her hoof very tightly.

"Uh...thanks?" I say sheepishly as I let go of her hoof. We stared at each other for a few moments.

"So....healing spell huh....." I start to say as I rub my forehead.

"Yep! Your headache should be gone!" Twilight cut in.

"There is no way that actually...wor-" I started to say before I realized something. My head doesn't hurt....like at all.

"What the actual fuck..." I muttered with shock. I stumbled back and bumped against the wall again.

"Magical motherfucking unicorns with wings....that can talk..." I said to myself as I put both hands on my head. They all simply stared at me while I started having a mini freak out episode.

"They fucking...talk...." I say as I start walking toward the kitchen area. I open the fridge and stare into it.

"Ate my fucking food..." I say as I stared at all the missing things.

"Another thing that I apologize for..." Celestia said from the living room. I ignored her and tried pouring myself some juice. I couldn't do it because my hand was shaking all over the place. The ponies walked over from the living room and watched me with concern except Luna who watched from the living room uncaringly. Celestia noticed me struggling to pour the drink and sighed.

"Let me get that for you..." She said. Then her horn glowed again and the jug and the glass turned gold then poured itself. Then the cup just floated gracefully into my hands. That was pretty much the icing on the cake.

"N...n....no....impossible..... No...." I stuttered, drooping the glass of juice accidentally. It broke on the floor making Celestia frown.

"One moment..." She said as her horn glowed again. Then the shattered glass turned gold and started forming back together before my eyes. Then just like that it was restored. Now I was hyperventilating and sweating profusely.

"H...how..." I whispered.

"With a simple reversal spell of course! It works by setting back time in a small and localized area-" Twilight happily explained before Cadence jammed a hoof in her mouth.

"I don't think thats helping things here Twilight...." She said sheepishly. I sat there on the floor basically in the fetal position. My hand was shaking so much that instead of drinking the juice I somehow managed to spill it all over my shirt.

"Are you....alright?" Celestia asked with a nervous smile.

"Yeah....I...I'm good....j...just freaking out a little.... About magical talking horses.. " I stutter as I sit there rocking back and fourth. "Oh god they really talk...' I say with a shiver. The horses looked at each other sadly and started talking among themselves.

"I Think we should seek shelter elsewhere..." Celestia said sadly.

"Yes...let us leave the pathetic thing behind sister.." Luna said with a laugh.

"I wouldn't call him...pathetic...but we're obviously scaring him" Cadance said sheepishly, blushing slightly.

"Awww... Do we really have to go Princess Celestia?" Twilight pouted.

"Yes my faithful student, I'm afraid so... We shouldn't stay where we're not welcome..." Celestia said as she began walking past me toward my front door. Celestia opened it with her....magic and the others followed her out. Twilight left with her head down, Cadence watched me sadly and Luna ignored me completely. Celestia stopped before exiting.

"I'm sorry for any trouble my companions and I may have caused..." She said sincerely before gently closing the door.

And they're gone.

I shakingly stood up and stared around the empty room. Did all of that really happen? Tom leasurly made his way down the stairs and walked up to me. He started rubbing against my leg and looking up at me.

"Come here you little shit..." I said as I scooped him off the floor to pet him. He purred and rubbed against me streching out and relaxing in my arms. I've always found it strange that animals like being pet so much. Dogs will go through hell just to get pet once by you.

"You're supposed to hold down the fort Tom! Why did you let those horses in my house?" I ask like I was expecting an answer. Great... Now I'm talking to everything... Next I'll be saying something stupid like.... What's up ceiling? How's the weather up there?

Speaking of horses... The really left! I wonder where they went? I placed Tom on the floor, much to his dismay and started walking to the window right next to my front door. I moved a curtain aside and adjusted the blinds.

"Oh my god..." I whisper, then I rushed to my door and opened it. Sure enough, it was just as I feared. The 4 of them were at my neighbors house, knocking on his fucking door!

"Nonono!" I said as I sprinted out of the house and on to my driveway.

"Hey!" I shouted loudly waving to get their attention. They all turned and looked in surprise as I ran across the street.

"What the hell are you doing???" I demand as I came next to them.

"Oh we were simply going to ask your neighbor if we can-" Celestia started to say.

"NO! Are you fucking nuts? Get back in my house!" I ordered. They all looked at each other with uncertainty, then nodded in agreement. They quickly ran across the street and into my house...except Luna.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING???" I said with frustration.

"We do not take orders from thee creature..." She said defiantly as she stood her ground. I exclaimed in frustration.

"I don't have time for this crap..." I muttered as I went behind Luna and pushed her toward my house. She looked back at me with wide eyes.

"ART THOU MAD?!?" She yelled.

"MOVE!" I say loudly. Luna looked like she was about to kick me again but I heard the neighbor's door making an unlocking noise. Luna looked back at me with worry.

"Trust me...you need to run...now!" I whisper. Luna narrowed her eyes and lowered her head.

"We will comply, just this once..." She said before finally running toward my house. Then my neighbors door swung open, the light from inside illuminating me in the darkness. I stared like a deer in headlights.

"..."

"Derrick?"

"Um...sup?"

"Is there a reason you're yelling and knocking on my door at 10:30 at night?"

"Uh..I had a little to drink...or something..."

...

"Get out of my sight..." My neighbor grunted in annoyance as he slammed the door. I sighed in relief, then hightailed it back to my house. I ran inside and slammed the door, resting on it and breathing heavily.

"Holy shit that was close.." I muttered as I wiped sweat off my forhead. The horses were all staring at me in confusion as I tried to catch my breath. I took a deep breath and turned to the girls.

"Ok...listen...you cannot do something like that...like ever again.... You can't let any other humans see you guys!" I started to explain.

"Why not? And...you're a HUMAN?" Twilight asked, then her eyes lighting up and her smile almost popping of her face.

"Yes I'm a human... But seriously don't"

"OH WOW! I've read about humans before in history books but I never thought they were REAL! I have so many questions! How com you stand on two leg-"

"Please... let him finish Twilight Sparkle..." Celestia said as she covered her mouth with her hoof. Her ears drooped and she sat down to listen.

"As I was saying... Dont let anyone see you! They would freak out!"

"Um...that doesn't seem that bad..." Cadence said.

"...Until they flip a shit and call the authorities! Like I almost did..." I finish with a sigh.

"But... Couldn't we just... Explain our situation? I'm sure they would be rational and understand..." Celestia said with hope.

"I dont know how things work where you come from, but I know for a fact the police wouldn't let a talking magical unicorn with wings explain shit. Once their initial freak out has passed they'll restrain and capture you..." I say with a serious expression. Luna scoffed and shook her head.

"Thou art a fool if thy thinks the Princess of the Night can be restrained so easily..." Luna said confidently. I looked at her and deadpanned.

"Well...if you don't believe me go outside and knock on someone's door... I won't stop you" I say seriously. Luna narrowed her eyes and I continued.

" I'm sure your magic wont protect you forever... I doubt it would be long before my government has you disected on a lab table..." I say coldy making the others cringe. That statment must have cut deep, because Luna's hard exterior crumbled. She sat down with a forlorn expression and looked away.

"W..why would your government be so cruel?" Cadence asked with watering eyes.

"Because there is no such thing as magic, talking animals, or unicorn horses with wings?" I said as I walk to my couch and sat down. "They would want to see how you work. Its still not defiant that they would do something like that, but I wouldn't risk it if I were you..." I say honestly. Then the room fell silent. They came over to my living room area and sat in various spots.

"So...does this mean that we can stay?" Celestia asked curiously.

"I guess... For tonight..." I said with a shrug. Then I leaned forward in my chair.

"You said that a spell was cast incorrectly right? So if you do it again... the right way, can it send you back?" I ask curiously. Celestia looked away with uncertainty.

"I'm not sure...it would take some time and we're not at our full magical strength yet..." She said sadly. I sat in my chair in deep thought. As much as they freak me the fuck out, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I was responsible for them being captured, or worse.... disected. So I took a deep breath and spoke.

"Just don't worry about it for now....you can stay as long as you need..." I said with a sigh as I stood up and stretch. They all looked at each other and smiled happily.

"Thank you mister human!" Twilight said excitedly as she ran up to me and hugged my leg. "Hey... get off!" I said in annoyance as I tried prying her off my leg comicly, making the others giggle.

"Ok Twilight... Stop before he changes his mind..." Celestia said with a laugh. Twilight pouted and let go of my leg. Then Cadence cleared her throat.

"It would be impolite of us to stay here and not even know our host's name..." She said with a grin. I raised my brow and chuckled.

"Right....my name is Derrick Young... But you can just call me DJ if you want..." I muttered. They all nodded and smiled.

"Well then Derrick we all thank you for your kindness..." Celestia said.

"Don't mention it..." I say as I walked into the kitchen.

"I wish to repay you somehow if I can...perhaps when my full strength returns..." Celestia started.

"Seriously don't mention it...I'm still kinda freaking out a little bit..." I said with a shudder at the mere thought of magic, making them giggle. Then I opened up the fridge again and stared silently.

"I'm really really sorry about that..." Celestia said sincerely.

"No its cool... I've been meaning to restock the fridge anyways... I'll probably go the store tomorrow..." I say as I closed it with a sigh. "By then I would have figured out what the hell talking horses eat..." I add with a laugh. Twilight cringed and walked over to me.

"Actually we're not going to horses...." She said. I fold my arms and raised my brow.

"Really now?"

"Yes! We are ponies!" She says with a grin. I deadpan and look from her to Celestia and back again.

Seems legit.

"Right...your a Unicorn pony... So... What are they?" I ask, gesturing to Celestia, Cadence, and Luna.

"We're Alicorns " Cadence answered for Twilight, walking over to join us. " We have earth pony strength, unicorn magic and the wings of a pegasus" she said as she spread her wings. I raised my brow and took a step back.

"Uh...yeah I can see that..." I said sheepishly as I watched her fold her wings back. Our eyes met and she blushed. Sheesh... She's a bit shy... She keeps blushing for some reason.

"So let me try and remember..." I said as I rubbed my chin.

"You're Princess Celestia Ruler of...Equestria? I think thats what you said..." I recalled. Celestia walked over to us and stood next to Twilight and the others.

"That is correct... Although I share power with my sister..." She confirmed. Then I looked at Twilight.

"And you're her Alicorn in training? You're waiting to get your wings or something?" I joke.

"Huh?" Twilight says tilting her head in confusion, Then Celestia's eyes widen. She quickly grabbed Twilight in a tight hug.

"Yes she's my adorable little Protégée, I'm teaching her about the magic of friendship and NOTHING else..." She said flashing a toothy grin. I blinked a few times and raised an eyebrow, Cadence looked just as creeped out as me.I have a feeling I said something that was supposed to be a secret.

"Ok...then...she's your student, got it...." I say raising my arms in a Innocent gesture. "Wait did you say your teaching her about the magic of friendship?" I repeat with a flat brow.

"Yes! She reports to me daily about what she learned about friendship, via letters sent by her baby dragon assistant spike! Her and the other elements of harmony..."

"...."

"Uh auntie? I think I'd spare the details if I were you..." Cadence whispered as she gestured to my Goldfish like stare.

"A dragon....a fucking dragon....you...no.....just no way..." I start mumbling with wide eyes.

"Right..." Celestia said with a nervous laugh.

"I...c...can't breath...Princess..." Twilight weized. Celestia gasped and let her go.

"Oops..."

We all laughed except for twilight who fell to the floor coughing.

"So what about you?" I ask, gesturing to Cadence. Her eyes widened and she blushed.

"Me...me?" She stuttered.

"No the floor... yes you!" I quip. She shifted uncomfortably and stared down at her hooves.

"We'll...I...I'm the Princess of Love..." She said nervously. I stared at her blankly and her ears droop.

"Uh....please tell me that doesn't mean what I think it does...." I said carefully.

"I assure you it does not mean what you think it does..." Celestia assured.

"Ok....then...moving on..." I said with a sheepish nod. Then I turned to Luna who was still in the living room. She was sitting in one of my arm chairs tucked up and staring into space with a stoic expression.

"What about...HER..." I said gesturing to Luna. Celestia turned to her and frowned.

"Sister! Why don't you come over here and tell Derrick about yourself?" Celestia pleaded.

"Yeah! Come join us Princess Luna!" Twilight encouraged. Luna snorted angrily and finally joined the rest of us in the kitchen.

"We are the princess of the Night... There is nothing more to say..." Luna said with a stoic expression.

"Ok...I have to ask now... What does that actually mean?" I ask suspiciously.

"We art responsible for raising the moon and stars.." She said with a straight face. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. I looked around and they were all giving me a funny look. I coughed awkwardly then froze.

"She's not serious right?" I say sheepishly, pointing my thumb at Luna.

"Do not mock me human..." Luna grumbled.

"I've believed everything you've said so far....fucking dragons and magic... But...Raising the moon? That's bullshit..." I say with a shake of my head. Luna growled and frowned.

"Don't you have somepony to raise the SUN and moon here?" Twilight asked, looking puzzled.

"Hell no! And one of you raises the SUN?" I exclaim.

"I thought my cutie mark would have tipped you off..." Celestia said with a smirk. I deadpanned and glared at them.

"The fuck is a cutie mark??" I demand. Then they all turned around and presented thier asses to me making me blush furiously.

"Uh...what am I supposed to be looking at?"

"Our flanks silly" Twilight said cheerfully.

"Uh...yeah...um they're interesting and stuff but...like what exactly am I supposed to..." I trailed off. Then all 4 of them turned their heads and deadpanned, making my face even redder.

"Oh...OH! I see now! You have tattoos..." I say with a nervous smile. Then I started to narrow my eyes. They all have 2 perfectly matching images on each cheek...

"They are not tattoos DJ. These cutie marks represent our special talents!" Twilight explained.

"Uh...ok... Neat I guess, but..." I say, swallowing hard.

"But?"

"Did you really have to... do whatever this is to explain that?" I ask gesturing to them. All of them gasped and immediately turned around, their cheeks various shades of red. Now were all embarrassed.

Before I could think of a way to make the situation less awkward, Twilight yawned and started to look sleepy. Then the Yawn spread to Cadence and Celestia. I looked at the time and it was like 11:40 not too late for me, but apprantly late for them.

"Right...sleeping arrangements..." I say as I stopped leaning on the fridge and rub my chin. Then I stretched my arms and started walking to the living room and the girls followed.

"Alright... This is a four bedroom house, which means..." I started to say as I walked to the first guest room which was downstairs.

"...somebody is going to have to share a room...or worse.."

"Worse?" Questions Twilight.

"I have to give up my bed and sleep on a couch..." I said with a laugh. They stayed silent as I looked at them.

"Your definitely going to have to sleep in my room..." I mutter, looking Celestia up and down. The others look at me suspiciously and Celestia raises her brow.

"May I ask why?"

"Because my room has the biggest bed..." I said simply. The others exchange glances then start snickering. Celestia narrows her eyes slightly.

"Are sure that I couldn't fit on the oth-"

"Nope. Moving on..." I muttered. Celestia sighed in frustration, I ignored her and continued.

"Alright who wants this room?" I say as I open the door to the guest room and I turn on the light. Its pretty basic inside the room because unless my family comes over (which rarely happens ) or my friends come and spend the night, this room is largely unused. This one was pretty much the same as all the others, average bed, a dresser, closest, window, a shelf, bla bla bla.

"We shall claim the first room.." Luna said as she walked inside and looked around, then the door glowed blue and closed. Damn... She didn't even say goodnight...sheesh...

"Cool. The rest of you come with me..." I said as they followed me up the stairs. The hallway is pretty straight forward, two guest rooms on the left, my room and the Tv room on the right, and a bathroom straight across.

"Alright... Bathroom is right there. You two wait here a sec. Princess Celestia, come with me." I said. Twilight and Cadence stayed put while Celestia follows me to my room. I open the door and turned on the light.

"Uh I'm not the neatest guy... Sorry" I say as I gesture to some clothes on the floor. Celestia walked around them smiling slightly.

"Its fine...." She says with a giggle.

"I have to change my shirt real quick... Gimme a second." I say as I grab a tank top out of one of my drawers. I took off my collared shirt and replace it with the tanktop. Celestia gives me a look a can't read. Why is she looking at me like that? Eh...whatever. I remember the window and almost slam the thing shut when I close it. Then I walk back toward the door, Celestia's gaze followed me the whole way. I pick up my phone, which was right where I was before getting knocked the fuck out and looked at her.

"Uh...is my room too dirty?" I ask sheepishly. At first she didn't respond, like she was in some weird trance then she blinked and flashed a smile.

"No its fine! Just some clothes on the floor, no big deal.." She said with a giggle. I shrugged then walked out and started to close the door.

"Try not to break anything... And goodnight..." I said from the doorway. She smiles back warmly.

"Good night Derrick... Oh that reminds me!" She said with a flash of her horn, then the broken lamp that I honestly completely forgot about formed back together and floated back to its usual spot. Fucking...magic....I still can't wrap my head around it, and frankly I don't want to!

I stared at her wide eyed and slowly closed the door. Twilight and Cadence were rambling on about something until I walked over.

"Well you two can pick between these rooms.. They're pretty much the same" I said as I open one of the doors.

"We'll.... Actually... This one has more bookshel-"

"MINE!" Twilight declared as she sprinted into the room and slammed the door. Cadence and I sat there in surprise. Then a moment later Celestia cracked the door to my room open.

"What was that?" She asked us.

"Twilight..." Cadence said.

"Twilight?"

"Yes Twilight..."

"Books?"

"Yep"

"Ah...well I dont think she will be sleeping anytime soon..." Celestia said with a smile. Then she yawned deeply and giggled. "Me on the other hoof..." She said as she gently closed the door. I shook my head then walked to the last guest room that was next to the stairs.

"Well... This is it..." I muttered as I opened the door and turned on the light. Cadence starts to nervously drag her hoof on the floor in a circle.

"I really appreciate what you're doing for us DJ..." She said as she nervously stares down at her hoofs.

"Dont mention it...I was probably going to end up falling asleep on the couch anyways..." I said with a chuckle as I remember all the times thats happened.

"You dont have to sleep on the couch.... We could...share..." She said with a timid smile. I laugh nervously and wave a hand.

"No no no...I'm good..." I said awkwardly.

"Oh... Ok then..." She said with a blush.

"Well goodnight Princess..." I said with a grin.

"Goodnight..." She said smiling back as she enters the doorway. Then she stopped midway and her ears droop down. I raise my brow and I was about to ask if something was wrong, but she suddenly turned around and stood on her hindlegs. Then she rested her forelegs on my shoulder. I guess this is a pony hug or something. I didn't really want to touch any of them, but I don't want to be mean either, so I kinda just tapped her back lightly. Then she did something... really weird. She's started rubbing her face into my cheek, creeping the fuck out of me.

She got down and started blushing and I just stared down at her in horror. She noted my expression and her blush intensified.

"I'm sorry.......would you have preferred a kiss?" She asked worriedly.

"No.. No... I just wasn't ready for....whatever that was..." I say averting my eyes. She smiled again, her ears perking up then she went inside her room and closed the door. I stood there blinking for a few seconds trying to figure out what the hell that was about. Then I shrugged it off and started walking down the stairs. As I was midway down a thought popped into my head. That hug was... Actually pretty nice! She's warm an fuzzy! Like a big fluffy...horse....

...

Huh...

Unfortunately as I was thinking about that a certain cat was laying on the steps. I saw him at the last second and avoided stepping on him, but instead I fell and went bumping and banging down the stairs loudly. I stopped on the bottom laying on my back, wincing and groaning loudly.

"DAMMIT TOM!" I curse as I crack my sore neck. Cadence opened the door at the top of the stairs.

"Are you ok?" She asked worriedly. I start chuckling as I slowly push myself up.

"Yeah I'm fine..."

"Are you sure? Do you want me to use healing mag-"

"NONONON! I'm fine Cadence... You should get some sleep..." I said with a reassuring smile. She smiled a little then closed her door again. I slowly struggled onto my feet and frowned at Tom, who was standing next to me looking up.

"Meow"

"Fuck you..."

I walked away to my living room. Then I noticed Luna was sticking her head out of her room staring at me with a ghost of a smile.

"What?"

"We were simply enjoying thine show..."

"Well... Sorry to disappoint you... But I won't be falling down anymore stairs..."

"We admit that was amusing, but we were refering to thine embrace with Princess Cadence, we could see thee blushing from here.." She teased. I deadpanned and stared at her.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Nay Human..." She said as she stepped out of the room fully. I rolled my eyes and walked away toward the kitchen. I looked around for something that the ponies DIDN'T devore, and I found some cereal. Thankfully there was enough milk for a big bowl, so I made one. I grabbed a spoon and walked back to my living room area. I sat down in front of my TV with a satisfying sigh and started eating. I took a few spoonfuls then stopped.

Why do I feel like I'm being watched?

I slowly turned to see Luna sitting right next to me.

...

"Uh...what are you doing?"

"Watching thee eat."

"...why?"

"Because thou art interesting to watch..."

"Ok...thats not creepy or anything..." I say sarcastically as I start eating again. After a few more spoonfuls I stopped again and stared at her.

"Are you seriously going to sit and watch me eat?"

"Yes. Thy cereal is getting soggy.."

"..."

I just shook my head, and tried to ignore her and finished my cereal. I was about to put the bowl in the sink but it instead glowed blue and floated into the sink. I deadpanned and stared at her and she stared back. We sat there for a good 30 seconds before I opened my mouth.

"So... Is there a reason you're not sleeping?"

"We art the Princess of the night, we do not require as much sleep as our companions..."

"Ok...."

...

"Well I'm finished eating..."

"We noticed"

"Are you still just going to watch me or..."

"We are waiting for thou to entertain us, thy art the Host after all..."

...

The fuck?

"Entertain you? What the hell do you want me to do? Jump down the stairs? Take a dump? Masterbate?" I demand. Luna starts to snicker and I facepalm.

"I'm just gonna play Xbox now..." I muttered. Luna tilted her head slightly in confusion.

"Xbox?"

"Its pretty much my only hobby. Look I'll show you..." I said as I reached across the table and picked up one of my controllers.

"Xbox on." I say aloud. Luna looked at me like I was crazy.

"Who is thou speaking to?" She asked. I didn't answer because my Tv sparked to life making Luna gasp.

"What sort of black magic is this?" Luna asks as she stare at the screen in horror.

"Chill out... Its just a TV.... Its for entertainment.." I say with a laugh. Luna stares at it then slowly relaxes.

"Show me.."

I nodded and turned on my controller

"Xbox... Play Titanfall..." I command. A moment later the game is starting up.

"Titanfall?"

"Its a video game. Basically I control it with this.." I said gesturing to the controller. She leaned forward and sniffed it, much to my amusement.

"This is a first person shooter where you fight other people..."

"We... Don't... Understand..." Luna said as she tries to make sense of what I'm doing on the screen.

"Just watch..." I said as I actually get in game and start moving around.

She basically from that point on watches silently as I play the game, asking questions from time to time and mocking me when I failed. I played until my eyelids felt heavy, then I turned it off and looked at the time. Holy crap its 2 in the morning! I yawned and Luna yawned with me.

"Ok I'm about to pass out, so move..." I muttered. Luna scoffed then laughed at me.

"Unless you plan to share your damn bed, move!" I say with annoyance. Luna's wings extended and she hopped off the couch with a light flap. Basically scaring the living shit out of me.

"Why art thou so jumpy?" She asked with a giggle.

"I mean... Its not everyday that you see a talking unicorn, fly off a couch with wings..." I quipped.

"Well thy should get used to it... Perhaps our stay here will not be as horrible as we originally imagined..." She said with a smirk.

"Yeah whatever Princess..." I said with a shrug making her laugh. I shacked my head as she winks at me making the hair on my neck stand up. Then she walks to her room and pauses at the door.

"Goodnight.... Derrick..."

"Night..." I said, with a sleepy wave. Then she walked into her room and closed the door. Now its just me sitting on the couch half asleep. Hey wait... Did she actually call me Derrick instead of human? Huh... No thats just me being tired. I laid back and relax on the couch and go over the days events.

So I have 4 magical talking ponies living in my house. Maybe it won't be too bad... If I can get over the magic...and the talking... And the wing- nevermind. We'll just see how tomorrow goes I guess... I have a feeling it will be disastrous but hey... I signed up for it.

Author's Notes:

Notes: Hey guys! This story is a spin off what if story, meaning it won't be updated to often compaired to the Misadventures of DJ. When I eventually finish that story I'll basically write more spim off, what if stories featuring DJ. This is also practice for slice of life stories.

For now dont expect this to update frequently.

This is an alternate reality and dosent take place in the Misadventures of DJ continuity. Shining armor either didn't exist, or never met cadence. MLP doesn't exist in this universe either.

I'm going to try and make DJ more resistent to pony flirting this time around.