by Colombiaguy

Chapter 3: Chapter 3- Explaining Weird Stuff

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Aaaah, sleep is niiiiiice. Well, not sure if a system shock blackout counts as sleep. I can’t recall if I dreamed or not. Either way, when I came back to the land of the waking I was walking down a hall and....wait, I was walking? Do I sleep walk? Hold up, time to take stock.

Leg check...unresponsive

Wing check...unresponsive

Eye check... (if you haven’t figured it out yet)

Ok, not in control any more. Guess I’m riding shotgun for now. Best see what mood the driver is in. “Celestia? Are you back at the helm?” I probed.

My host stopped their stroll and looked about for a second. Then I could feel a small smile come across her face.Then Celestia responded in that tone that sounded like a mother talking to a child,“Dante. I’m glad to you are awake. How are you feeling?”

Honestly, a bit better now that I’m not bogarding your body from you. Seriously, I’m not sure if there is anything I can do to apologize properly to you.”

Celestia let a chuckle escape, “You really have a guilty conscious don’t you? I know you didn’t intend it on purpose. You don’t have to keep apologizing.”

Despite the sweet tone and the calming quality to her voice, I still felt like an intrusive ass.

Ok, I’ll lay off the apologies.” Then the really important question popped into my mind, “Wait, did Luna figure out how to put you back in control?

Celestia shook her head, “She didn’t have to. The second you passed out, I was able to gain control. I was honestly concerned what had happened to you. You were very quiet of a long time, Dante. However, we did learn something.” That last part got my attention.

Okay, color me intrigued. What did you learn?” I inquired. Any new info might help me figure out what was going on with my current existence.

“I know where you are.”



Not to be rude, but I’m pretty we established I was in your head...somehow.

I couldn’t see it but I could feel the all-knowing smirk cross Celestia’s face. “Can you see what I see right now?”, she asked.

Yeeeeeah? Why?” I didn’t quite understand where this was going but she said she knew where I was. Maybe I had did have a form in Equestria but I was just separated from my physical body? All things considered it couldn’t be THAT far fetched... right?

Without another word, Celestia turned her head so I could see the right side of her body. Then she lifted her wing and I saw something really out of place. And when I say “out of place” I don’t mean a few errant feathers or a tattoo someone would only get in a drunken blitz. It was a black splotch on the canvas of white that was Celestia’s fur. The hell is that? A bruise? No, bruises aren’t tar black. What could...wait, she knew where I...Oh. No. Freakin. Way.

Please tell me that spot is some sort of minimalist tattoo you got when you were younger.” I pleaded.

“I’m afraid not. When I regained control, I decided to do a scan to see if you were alright. The scan lead to this spot.” She motions to the spot. “As far as I can tell. This spot is you.”

I’m a black spot...Some how I felt like some kind of social commentary. I’m the black spot on the side of Royalty. Ugh.

Uh excuse my skepticism (which is actually denial) how certain that that is me?

Again, without another word she poked the spot and I giggled...crap.

“ I didn't feel that; and did that tickle?” Celestia asked curiously.

Oh no, I can feel her thoughts switching. Need to shut this down.

What? Nooo nooo. Course not, I uh...just thought of something funny is all.

She wasn’t buying it. She poked it again.

*Snnnnck* I tried to stifle the giggle.

Then I got this feeling, coming from Celestia. A dark feeling, a malicious feeling. The kind of feeling that could end empires should it be applied to any unfortunate soul in her path. Then I felt it culminate into a single solitary horrifying action....she smirked. Dear God no.


...” Uh oh


I was in uncontrollable laughter and each laugh caused another poke.

Celes *hahaha* Celestia *Bwahaha* Stop! *Hehe* Please *AAAHAHAHAHA*!”

“So it does tickle?” Trollestia was in full force, the pokes did not cease.

Yes! *ahahaha* It tickles, Good LORD IT TICKLES! *HAHAHAHA*”

Then she stopped and allowed me time to regain myself. I didn’t have to breath since Celestia was in charge but the sensation from the pokes took a few seconds to subside.

That...was cruel...and you know it!” If I had fingers, or hooves. or anything capable of pointing I’d had been pointing it right at Celestia.

I could feel that smirk turn into a smile as she turned to face down the hall again and started moving forward, “I haven’t a clue what you mean. I was just investigating your response to physical stimuli.” She said with that smile still plastered on her face.

Vengeance shall come, one day, and it shall be like ice cream, cold and sweet!

With my plans for vengeance stored away for a later date. I came back to the realization that I was still some kind of blob on the side of Sun Princess. “So, am I...stuck to you? I still don’t get what I am now.

Celestia shifted and was contemplative for a second. She was going through how to explain my current form. Then she broke it to me in a solemn tone, “I don’t know what you are now.”

Well, that doesn’t help much.


Oh, "However” could change things.
“You seem to be linked with my nervous system, which could explain how we both were able to experience the same pain before, and also how you were able to control my body in my mental absence. Not to mention I can sense your essence throughout me.”

Huh, sounded like I had attached myself to Celestia in every sense of the word. Was this permanent? Was I going to forever be this “thing” on the side of Celestia? Did I even serve a purpose?...Wait, a damn second.

Celestia...am I a parasite?

“I don’t think so. Actually,my scan said you've been helping a bit.”

Did I miss something?

Uh, did I clean the castle while I was blacked out? How have I helped?

“You’re actively accelerating my healing.”

And straight out of left field comes a strange power that I had no clue about.

Wait, so I’m giving you an accelerated healing ? How? I wasn’t even aware I was doing that!

Celestia took a second and collected her thoughts, “You appear to coercing my natural healing into an advanced form of cellular regeneration.” She rounded a corner and we were in the throne room from yesterday. She trotted into the throne room and made her way to royal seat on top of a golden platform. I never really got to check out this room, but it was impressive. The room was at least half a football field long and had several beautiful stain glassed windows depicting different moments in Equestria’s history. The sun must have just been coming up as the western side of room had multiple hues of colors flowing over the ground. It was astonishing.

Celestia snapped me out of my admiration of the room when she reached the top of her throne and turned her gaze to her left. I could see the impact crater I had caused. Oh guilt, back for another visit? Why, you look like you gained some weight since yesterday. Oh you’re here to crush me? Please, go ahead.

Celestia turned her gaze back to the front. “That impact should have broken most of the bones on my left side and left me with some kind of internal damage, Dante.” The tone she chose to say this in was very serious and didn’t help my guilt.

Should have. Yet, I walked you out of here with only a few fumbles and a bit of soreness.” Thinking back on it, I had always thought alicorns were tough based on them being so powerful. To hear that they could take damage just like any other creature shifted my perspective of them. They were just ponies like any other who could get hurt like any other...but also had the power of the Sun and Moon at their disposal.

“The soreness seemed to be the main by product, but it is definitely coming from you. Despite your small size you are exuding a decent amount of magic which seems to be-”

I stopped paying attention. Did she say I’m using magic? Passive magic apparently, but hey I have magic! If I could do that without trying, I wonder if there are other things I might be capable of doing. Wait, she’s still talking. Act like you are listening still!
“- and with that type of potential you might be capable of incredible feats.”

DAMN IT! I missed something important....okay, okay, I can recover uh...play dumb!

So...could you maybe explain that to someone who doesn’t quite get magic.” Come on luck don’t fail me now! You don’t want to admit to Celestia that you let your mind wander during a very important lecture.

“Oh sorry, I tend to ramble when it comes to new interesting things.”

YES! Dodged the bullet!

Yeah, its cool. I guess that’s where Twilight gets it from.

Celestia suddenly stiffened and was quiet, really quiet. Her mind on the other hand was not, “How do you know about my student?”

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I slipped! Quick make an excuse!...Wait, I can’t. She knows I’m human and not from here. AAaaugh...this is going to suck donkey balls.

I...I...I’ve seen her and her friends. What they’ve done. I’ve uh...wow, I need a word better than ‘watched’ right now.”

Celestia was getting mad, I didn't even have to see her face. I could feel it.

Ok, remember when you saw my memories?

Celestia didn't say a word. Why was this worse than had she said something.

“Right, on my world there’s this show....and this show just so happens to revolve around your student, Twilight Sparkle, and her friends. Me and thousands of others have know about them. They’re...interesting.” Ok I was nervous and couldn't think of anything better. I dun goofed and had the power of the sun about to bear down on me if I didn't explain my sudden knowledge of someone whom I had not met. Lying was definitely not going to help and I needed her to trust me. Especially, if I wanted her to help me determine what else I was besides a black spot.

“Interesting, how?” Celestia asked darkly. Jesus she was scary when she was serious.

Just interesting, we watched them to see what kind of adventures they went on, how they interacted with each other, what they learned from each other. They inspired us to be better people, to be creative, to..to...Honestly, I could hardly believe it when I was in control of your body. My mind was burning a mile a minute trying to determine if this was even real. But it had to be. I felt pain, guilt, worry. I...I just want to try and exist without causing too much trouble. I swear I mean no ill will. This world is so different, cool, and interesting. I want to see it and learn about it and I really want to know what I am now.

I finished my spiel and it was quiet. I felt Celestia’s mind consuming what I had said. She was working out what to do with me. Her wings twitched and ruffled a bit. Must have been a bad thought. We were both silent for what felt like hours. Then Celestia spoke, “While you were out, I sent Twilight a letter describing what happened last night.”

Oh, that could be bad or good.

“I ,also, asked her to do some research to see if anything like this has happened before. She will be coming to Canterlot when she has found something. In my long reign I can’t recall anything like this ever occurring. I would like to know what you are as well, Dante.”

Yay, progress!



“You need to tell me everything you know about Equestria and my subjects.”

How much time do you have?

“I have an hour before my first hearing. Get through as much as you can.”

For the next hour, I went through the majority of season one of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I told her what I knew about Nightmare Moon and the discovery of the Elements of Harmony. I went through the various lessons Twilight learned. I did stop a few times when Celestia asked for clarification on things that Twilight left out of her reports. Apparently, Twilight never mentioned the hydra in Feeling Pinkie Keen. She wasn't too happy about that. Then I got to the end of season 1 and the events of the gala. Celestia giggled at some of the antics the bearers got into while she was dealing with greetings. Then I went on to season 2, describing the return of Discord (which apparently I just missed. DAMN IT!) I was about to start on another episode when the guard announced the first hearing on the day. It was a dignitary from the Griffin Kingdom. COOL! We can pick this up later, if you want I told Celestia as the guards let the griffin in.

10 minutes later

Oh God they're just talking politics! It's like CSPAN live! Ugh, I wish I had my own head so I could beat it against a wall!

"Shush, you are distracting me" Celestia said, trying to silence my mental complaints.

"Mmmmph, fiiiiiiiine" I kept my thoughts as non-distracting as possible. I decided to look over this griffin dignitary. I guessed he must have been a bit older based on how faded his gray coat was. That and his face looked old, worn, and just plain tired. The feathers on his face were pretty droopy too. Kinda felt sorry for the guy. He could definitely use a vacation to a tropical island where all the drinks were served in coconuts, that and a few young griffin girls to keep him company....What? I can't try to make an old man happy in his twilight years? You cruel unfeeling, bastards.

Anyway, I felt bad for the guy. He even had this weird twitch going on. It kept coming on every few second and his wings kept...wait. Something is off here. I kept closer focus on his wings. Those twitches had some kind of pattern going on. Left twitch, Left twitch, Right twitch, Right twitch. He kept doing this with a few variations. The hell was he doing? Then I had a feeling. The kind of feeling when you feel like someone you can't see is watching you. "Celestia, sorry to bug ya, but can you look to your right, near the ceiling?"

"Why?" She asked with understandable confusion.

"Might be nothing...but I think something is watching us."

"How certain of this are you?"

"It's just a feeling. A bit paranoid, like I said I'm sure it's nothing. Just like to put it to rest, ya know?"

She still felt unsure but she obliged me anyway.

Ever been glad, you trusted your internal intuition? I might not be psychic but I was damn happy Celestia indulged my paranoia. There was a unicorn perched high in the rafters holding a crossbow, and that crossbow was pointed directly at Celestia! ASSASSIN!

The unicorn looked startled that Celestia had looked their way, but that didn't persuade them from magically pulling the trigger. The bolt flew from the crossbow and was on its path to end a life. Time slowed, I felt Celestia's magic spring forward and reach out to grab the bolt and stop its flight. Except something was off about this bolt as it seemed to completely resist Celestia's magic completely! What the, actual, fuck?! Spell resistant bolts?! Oh God, she's going to die! I need to do something! DYING SUCKS! I tried to act, force her out of the way, will her body to move, SOMETHING! The bolt was within inches of ending Celestia's life. Celestia closed her eyes and waited she was going to die.


Celestia opened her eyes and I got a glimpse of what lay before her, a pitch black hand griping the shaft of the bolt that was centimeters from penetrating her skull. Yeah, it was that close that I had to swap to metrics! But what caught her interest was the source of this new appendage. She followed the arm to find it leading under her right wing to where I resided...I just saved the life of Princess Celestia and had no idea how I had done it.

Author's Notes:

Chapter 3 WOOOT!....I'm very tired.:twilightsheepish: TOTALLY WORTH IT!

Next Chapter: Chapter 4- Wooo hands! Estimated time remaining: 8 Hours, 46 Minutes
Return to Story Description


Login with