Aaron set the comatose Fluttershy on the couch, levering the pegasus’ legs into a more comfortable position and draping a blanket over her. Neither sibling knew where the blanket or couch came from, only that the blanket was black, had a white jack o’ lantern face printed on it, and appeared incredibly soft and comfortable; and that the couch was also black, but velvet as opposed to silk, and also very comfortable.

Aaron provided no explanation, he only raised his eyebrow in a deadpan stare.

“Is Flutters okay?” Jupiter asked worriedly, watching the slow breathing of her friend.

“Eh, she’ll be fine. Ponies are tough- believe me. It’d take a lot more than a bit of a shock to seriously injure any of them, even Flutters.” Aaron shrugged and started preparing some tea.

“Um… alright.” She still looked concerned, but less so.

Juno took a step forward, garnering all’s attention–besides the butter yellow mare on the couch.

“So… why are you here?” he asked simply, curious above all else.

Aaron sat on randomly appearing armchair and leaned back. “I’m a travelling salesman, why do you think I go anywhere?”

“Well, we don’t need anything you’re selling, so you can go.” He briefly thought about what he said and how it sounded. “Not to sound hostile, or anything.”

“Nah, I think I’ll stay for a while. It’s been too long since I’ve taken a real vacation. Over six thousand years, at last count.” The tea kettle whistled, signalling to all that the tea was ready, and startling Fluttershy into full wakefulness.

“Who?! What?! When?! Where?!” she shouted, looking around the room frantically.

“Flutters!” Jupiter rushed over to her. “It’s okay, we’re all fine,” she reassured the startled mare.

“R-really?” The tension in Fluttershy’s shoulders melted away slowly. After a moment she took a deep breath and looked around again, finding Aaron sipping on a cup of tea. “I-I’m sorry, mister. I didn’t mean to freak out like that.” She looked kind of embarrassed.

Aaron sighed and snapped once more, the entire room changing from a minimalist cottage to a well decorated parlor. Everyone else found themselves in high society clothes and holding cups of tea. A table sat in the center, laden with finger foods, hors d'oeuvres, and snacks.

“Well, it’s fine. I was laying on the melodrama rather thick. That aside, go ahead everyone. It’s tea time and thus it is also time to enjoy life and eat food.”

“What did you do to my house?” was the angry response from Juno. Jupiter seemed to be watching her brother with a little more than a little fear and Fluttershy was trying to make herself shrink. Sadly, she wasn’t very successful.

“Nothing, actually. Okay, I confess… I gave the entire thing a spot clean and added a lot more space to it. Now you have a good sized, two person cottage sitting in the middle of the woods; complete with chimney, central heating, garden, and flowerbed. We, however, are in the middle… ish… area of my shoppe. To be precise, the rarely used tea room/parlor that I built and furnished by myself.” The smug eldritch being had the gall to slip on a pair of sunglasses as he spoke, striking the ‘Deal with it’ pose when he finished.

“Turn. It. Back,” he said with anger dripping from each word. “And, while you’re at it, take us back.”

Jupiter was busy examining a chair. “You have great furniture-making skill. I can see myself in this wood!”

“Ara ara, usually people are glad about free home improvement. It’s not like I changed the whole thing, it’s more like I just sorta… added the thing to your original. Like… how Hercules’ parents got a mansion beside their old shack in the Disney movie. And, I’m not taking you back until tea time is over. That is, in about half an hour.”

Juno growled for a moment before Jupiter broke in. “He built that cabin with his own bare hands. It was his first creation in this world. He’s very proud of it,” she explained. “So, what kind of tea is it?”

“I see. Well, it’s a good thing I only cleaned the place. Your extra space is sitting behind his creation. And it’s… Hmm… I don’t have a name for it. It’s my own personal blend, you see. I normally call it #42.” Aaron shrugged and bit into a biscotti, savoring the taste as he waved his hand, shifting the scene back into a now suspiciously clean cottage in the woods.

“Put it back the way you found it,” Juno growled at him, more menacingly this time.

“Controlled chaos, you see,” Jupiter tried to explain.

Aaron pouted, “Honestly, it’s like I never get any respect these days… Okay, I never got any respect in the first place because everyone thought they could beat up the living shadow that controlled all of reality, but still!” He snapped again, shifting the world into disorienting colors and dust and objects flew through the air, reverting the cottage to exactly as it had been five seconds before the group had left, sans additions made by Aaron.

Juno took a sigh of relief. “Thank you.” He then took a seat and a cup, sipping daintily from it.

Jupiter tried not to laugh at her brother’s antics, sitting and finding her own cup.

Fluttershy, being the only one still standing, sat next to the table and lifted the last cup with her wings.

Tea time concluded with little other affair.

Aaron exited the cottage, trailing after the trio of Juno, Jupiter, and Fluttershy. The three had plans, after all, and Aaron decided to just relax and kick back– six thousand plus years of constant work would do that to just about anyone.

“So, what were we going to do today? Aaron’s arrival made me completely forget the schedule.” Jupiter put her arms behind her back as she walked, not at all concerned about what they were off to do.

Juno took a small list from his pocket. “Well, it seems that we promised AJ we’d help harvesting today. Also something to do with the…” he squints at the paper, “Candy Festival?”

Jupiter’s eyes shot open wide. “Did you say-...” she cut herself short, “... what I think you said?”

“Yes, I did.” He then put the paper back in his pocket. “Don’t go too-” the group was enveloped in the dust cloud that trailed behind the overzealous girl, “-far ahead….” Juno finished with a sigh.

Aaron blinked twice. “Should… should we do something about that?”

“Nah, she’ll probably just harass Bonbon about sweets for a few hours.” Juno seemed oddly calm while saying this.

“Hmm… never had a Candy Festival where I was from… then again, I was only there for a few months–I turned into a nearly all powerful god after a few months and left my home reality. Six quadrillion years later and here I am now, considerably less powerful, but also a lot more powerful than I started out.” Aaron exposited to basically no one, though Juno and Fluttershy heart him clearly.

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand what you mumble to yourself, Aaron,” Juno said to him.

“Tis better that way, methinks. Now, what say we get to Applejack’s? I know you guys need to help her with the harvest, but I’d say an extra hand would always be helpful.” Aaron’s clothes abruptly changed from a high society butler tuxedo into a set of t-shirt and jeans.

Juno stared at him a moment longer, then shook his head in exasperation, deciding to simply ignore him.

Aaron took a deep whiff of air, enjoying the scent of apples. “Aaaahhhh,” he sighed, “It’s really been far too long since I’ve been to Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Maybe y’all should visit more often… uh, what’d y’all say yer name was?” AJ asked the man as he stood on a hill victoriously.

“Aaron, Aaron Heibai. Interdimensional shopkeeper and eldritch abomination from beyond the furthest reaches of existence, at your service.” He took a bow, sending his braid into the air in complete defiance of gravity.

“... Right….” AJ said, watching the braid float. “Anyway, Mr. Hay-Bay, if y’all want to work Ah won’t stop you. You know how ta buck apples, right?”

Aaron shrugged, “More or less, yeah. Though, I’m not much of a kicker. I prefer to just-” A snap of the fingers “- do this.” The tree he was standing under suddenly flashed with hundreds of shadows, every apple on the tree dropping into the strategically placed baskets at its base.

AJ watched the magic show with awe. “Y-.. y’all sure ya ain’t done this before?” she asked, still staring at the tree and wondering if this was one of Discord’s creations gone right.

Aaron plucked an apple from the basket, shining it off on his shirt and tossing it up and down. “Well, I’ve done this before… just not the way you guys do it.”

“A-alright, then. Don’t worry about doin’ too much work, Ah’m sure we won’t mind.” She said this as she began walking back towards the barn, intending to take a well-deserved nap for once.

“You’re a showoff, you know that?” Juno said, deadpanning at the magical man.

“Now now, Juno. No need to be all snippy.” Aaron teasingly chided the cat man, lightly tapping trees near their bases, causing each one to rock as if it were in a hurricane, sending all the apples perfectly into each basket. “I’m not a showoff, I’m a showman. There’s a difference. Sorta.”

“Well, a showman shows off, right?” he pointed out calmly, not at all perturbed by the narrator’s use of the politically incorrect name for “catfolk.”

Not that he even knew, but semantics.

“Shut up and get to the point!” Aaron shouted at the narrator, taking care to remain unheard by the peons stuck behind the fourth wall.

Alright, alright.

Ahem.

The three of them bucked the trees all day long. They bucked them from the side. They bucked them from behind. They bucked-.... Whoever wrote this script has the dirtiest mind ever.

“Hehe… sorry.”

AARON YOU SHADOWY SON-OF-A-BITCH.

“Woopwoopwoopwoopwoopwoopwoop.”

A good few hours of applebucking later, Aaron and company left Applejack’s place in search of Jupiter, who still had not returned from her wild quest to find the Candy Festival.

“Hey Juno, where do you think your sister is?” Aaron mused, hands behind his head.

“Hmm….” He put one hand to his chin, thinking fairly hard. “The first place I’d check would be Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie does make the best sweets in town.” They’d already been heading that direction; but let’s be honest, there’s really only one road into town from Sweet Apple Acres.

“Hmm… another place I haven’t been in far too long…” The shadow man grinned, shifting from human form to shadow form in an instant. “Well then, let’s go!” He picked up Fluttershy and Juno with his shadowy arms, glowing grin firmly affixed to his face, and rocketed off into Ponyville proper.

“Eep!” Fluttershy yelped.

Juno was yelling profanities at the shadow the whole way, though he did get a little less perverse when they reached the edge of town.

“Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad.” Aaron whined, still looking like a three dimensional shadow with a glowing grin.

“Yes it was!” Juno yelled at him, getting all up in his grill. “Do you know what it’s like to be picked up by a being with less-than-absolute-zero-temperature skin and be carried at the speed of sound to the nearest town, which was nearly a kilometer away?!” the angry god yelled as the temperature rose abruptly. Fluttershy looked about ready to piss herself.

“Oh please, it’s not that cold. And I stopped at mach one– far slower than Rainbow Dash usually goes.”

Juno glared at him, the temperature holding steady… for now.

“N-n-n-now, Ju-Ju-Juno…, let’s not g-g-get mad….” Fluttershy “eep”ed when Juno turned his glare on her.

A half second later, Juno realized what he was doing to the poor mare and the heat dissipated. “Sorry, Flutters. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He gave the cowering mare a soft hug to comfort her.

“I-i-it’s alright, J-Juno. I know.”

“It figures that a hot tempered brat like you would have fire powers….” Aaron sighed, scanning Ponyville for any signs of a catgirl with a sugar obsession.

Juno deadpanned at Aaron for a moment before snapping his own hand, a spark flying and lighting a small flame in his hand. “I do.”

“Nice, nice…. Shadow is better, but still… So, Sugarcube Corner or are you gonna yell at me some more?”

He sighed, putting the flame out. “Sugarcube Corner,” he said simply, walking towards the gingerbread-styled building.

“Alright then~” Aaron ambled behind Juno, utterly unconcerned about anything.

“Your randomness in situ-” he wasn’t able to respond as he was thrown back several hundred meters by a full-body slam. Him and the attacker went tumbling along the ground for a while before sliding to a stop.

“GLOMP!!” Jupiter yelled from on top of her brother, laughing like a child.

“Annnnd there’s the other one.” Aaron grinned, not that his face could make any other expression.

Juno sighed, seemingly unharmed by the distance he’d traveled on the ground. “Jupiter, what have I told you about doing that?”

The girl was already off of him and back to Aaron, talking a mile-a-minute.

“YouknowIreallylikethewayyourshadowsseemtobeinathreedimensionalformandyetarestillblackerthanblackwhichisthenameofasongandIreallylikemusic- Oh! DoyoulikemusicMr.Hay-Bey? IknowIdo. Ialsokindalikeyouwithyourcoolnessandeverythingthatyoukindofarebutthat’sredundantandIshouldn’tsaythingsthatareredundantkissme!!” Her head flew forward at unreal speeds, their lips meeting for a mere instant, before Jupiter ran off towards Sugarcube Corner.

It was about now that Juno was back on his feet and almost to where Aaron was. He only saw them kissing and assumed the worst.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!” He yelled as fire erupted from his hands and arms, lightning shooting from almost everywhere else, and he glowed like an atomic bomb.

“...... The fuck just happened?” Aaron wondered, dumping sixteen gallons of water on Juno, causing the angry god to short circuit. “And why the hell do I taste sugar?”

Juno yelled in rage, the water evaporating before it got within a foot of him. “AARON, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!” He stomped towards the shadow, the ground around his feet blackened.

“Yare yare dazou,” Aaron muttered, flicking Juno in the forehead. “I doubt you could, but you’re more than welcome to try later on, when you aren’t so pissy.”

He growled and hit him with fires more than fifteen billion kelvin. “DIE!!!!” he shouted through the insanely intense flames.

The world went dark.

Juno awoke with a splitting headache and a mild case of hypothermia.

“Gah… what did I drink last night and where did I pass out?” He asked, holding his throbbing head.

“Well, you didn’t drink anything, considering you hit fifteen billion kelvin in your attempt to kill me… and thus flash fried the entirety of Equus in about fifteen seconds. Congratulations Juno, in your overprotective attempt to keep your sister’s honor, you destroyed an entire planet, save for you and your sister. Oh, and the four princesses, but they’re in intensive care. Good fucking job.”

“W-what?!” he asked, his headache all but forgotten.

“You. Blew up. Equus. And killed all but six people. Congratulations, mortal.” Aaron looked distinctly unimpressed. “See, you should be glad that I rewrote the fabric of existence so that never happened, otherwise I’d have tossed you out the airlock and into Void-Space five hours ago.” He pointed out a nearby window, showing off the swirling, paradoxical nothingness outside.

Juno panicked for a little while before realizing all of his friends were not dead, and began relaxing again. “Well, firstly, fuck you. Never kiss Jupiter again.” His glare returned, but immediately softened. “Secondly, thanks for saving everyone. I owe you one.” He then took a look around. “Thirdly, where are we?”

Aaron smirked. It was not a nice smirk. “Well, firstly, fuck you, your sister basically committed sexual harassment by kissing me without consent. Second, you’re fucking welcome, you suck at controlling your powers. Third, we’re in my shop, in the Void between Universes, where, if I were to toss you out the airlock, you would slowly and painfully be pulled apart into your fundamental particles, even down to your very soul.”

The two men stared each other down for a moment, not letting up in the slightest…

And proceed to break out in laughter, right at the same time.

“Fuck you, you jerk-off,” Juno laughed with mirth, patting the ex-SysAdmin on the back.

“Fuck you, too; you uncontrolled pyro.” Aaron chuckled, shifting back into human form. “Saa… should we go see the four princesses? I’m sure they’d appreciate a visit, maybe tell them that the planet is still there and all.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be a load off their shoulders, too.” Juno took a moment to think about it. “Actually, why didn’t you just retcon the princesses, too?”

“Because I make it a policy to never retcon anything that’s still alive… not since… well… the accident…” Aaron shifted uncomfortably, toeing the floor with his polished dress shoes.

Juno watched him for a second, making sure he wasn’t about to break out laughing again as if it were some kind of inside joke. When he did not, Juno simply said “I won’t ask. Anyway, on to happier topics! Where are the princesses, anyway?”

“Ah, right… Follow me.” Aaron opened a door that simply hadn’t been there before, leading the both of them into a hospital full of hovering Chibi-Aarons in shadow form.

“Saa~ How are they doing?” Aaron asked, picking up a clipboard.

“They’re doing great, boss!” Came the chorus of high pitched shouts, all the shadow beings performing a perfectly in unison salute.

“Ne, where’d Jupiter-chan go? I swear I put her in a spare bedroom, but I can’t sense her in there anymore…” A round of shrugs followed. “.... Ahhhhhh shit.”

In an instant, all of the chibi Aarons disappeared from their places in the air, finding themselves gathered in the corner with Jupiter--or what was once Jupiter. Now, she was a raving lunatic, on a holy mission to collect and cuddle every chibi within a fifty lightyear radius.

“Aaaahhhh! RUN YOU FOOLS!”

“Dammit….” Aaron sighed, why did he always have to get the insane ones?

“Jupiter, sit.”

With these two words from Juno, everything returned to normal--sans all of the Aarons being gathered in the corner and Jupiter sitting in front of them, staring at her brother with wide eyes.

“Now lay down.”

Surprisingly enough, she did.

“Roll over.”

This is getting old so I’ll skip past all of the begging, licking, and shaking she did.

“Back to normal,” Jupiter said as she stood up again, smiling as if nothing had happened.

“Ara ara… I hope that doesn’t happen again anytime soon.…” Aaron strode forth, holding up a clipboard, “This is a hospital, after all. Now, would you like to see our only four patients or not?”

“Uh… yeah. I’d like to pay them a visit,” Jupiter said. “Who are they?” Her head tilted cutely to the side with the most clueless look on her face. Needless to say, it was adorable.

“Just the four princesses of Equestria. Juno accidentally did… some really stupid things and ended up hurting all four.” Aaron shot a look at Juno, one that promised long, pain-filled hours of self control training. Juno actually flinched at this look, though it wasn’t nearly as intense as those he’d received mere minutes earlier.

“Huh? Juno, you hurt the princesses?” She asked curiously. “That’s great! You never had enough power to actually break Twilight’s shields! How’d you do it?” She was actually happy… for some reason.

“Uh… I’d rather not talk about it.” His hand reached up and found the back of his head, scratching absentmindedly at an itch that was there, as he avoided eye contact with Jupiter.

“It’s best if we just let it sit for now. Anyway,” Aaron pushed open another door, revealing all four princesses stretched out in a row, each one wrapped completely in bandages. “Oi, miladies, you awake?”

“Just now, Aaron…” came the voice of Celestia, her being on the far left, only recognizable due to her size.

“And us as well, Sir Aaron,” Luna spoke up, muffled by the bandages, from directly right of Celestia.

Both Twilight and Cadence seemed to be asleep still, so they were not bothered and voices were kept low to ensure such.

“I did this?” Juno asked, seemingly in awe at what he’d supposedly done.

Jupiter was fairly quiet, keeping her gaze on her shoes.

“Unfortunately, yes. Yes you did. Quite frankly, I’m surprised that they even survived, what with there being sixth degree burns across a good half of their existential presences.” Aaron mused, flipping through his clipboard and occasionally sending bursts of healing light towards all four princesses, a process augmented by the chibi-Aarons’ own bursts.

“Thou hast done this, Sir Juno!? What hath occurred in order to turn thee against the four of us!?” Luna shouted as best as she could, inadvertently tearing her facial bandages and exposing the festering, crumbling flesh underneath.

“Luna, calm yourself!” Aaron shouted in return, pushing the formerly blue alicorn down and applying more bandages, along with a massive burst of warm, golden light.

“If the blast was enough to reach and nearly kill us… what…. what happened to my little ponies!?” Celestia was near frantic, though she had enough sense to not flail around like her sister.

“Well, Princess… Juno here decided to attempt to restore his sister’s lips’ honor by murdering me on the doorstep of Sugarcube Corner. Thus, he ended up blasting me, and by proxy Ponyville, with flames at an intensity of fifteen billion degrees Kelvin, incinerating Ponyville within half a second before the heat burned through the rest of the planet approximately fifteen seconds later. I spent those fifteen seconds trying to save anyone who hadn’t immediately died. Circumstances, however, reduced that amount to you four, Jupiter, and the murderer himself. And the rest is history,” Aaron spoke, driving a metaphorical chainsword into Juno’s heart with each word. Which, by the way, adds up to ninety three metaphorical chainsaw-bladed swords.

“He WHAT!?” Both princesses flew into a rage, tearing off all of their bandages with their fury, revealing the half charred skeletal masses beneath their bandages. Celestia’s eyes were gone, Luna’s wings as well. Neither had any internal organs to speak of, save for a half charred brain hanging out of the ruins of Celestia’s skull. Both were surrounded by massive coronas of healing light, though it only kept them alive at this point, such was the extent of the damage.

Unfortunately, this woke the other two princesses; who, when they saw what was left of the original alicorns, began to freak out in their own right. Bandages tore all around, exposing all four seemingly undead princesses to the world, each one surrounded by coronas of golden energy. The state of all four princesses was much the same, save for Twilight, who was literally nothing more than a charred skull and spinal column with a pair of front legs and a ribcage. It seemed that the only thing keeping them from exposing their true forms to the horrified Juno and Jupiter was the vast amount of healing bandages. And thus, the room turned from a hospital to the beginning scenes of a zombie survival movie.

Aaron sighed. “See, this is why I hate using my ICU. Everyone in here ends up looking like a fucking zombie.”

Juno looked as if he were ready to hurl, but had the sense to cover Jupiter’s eyes. Luckily, she hadn’t seen any of the princesses in their… nudity.

“Can we come back when they’re-” he felt something coming up his throat, but forced it down with a gulp, “-better, please?” He was already leading Jupiter away from the horrendous scene before them.

Aaron sighed and grabbed Juno by the collar before he could run. “No, Juno. You need to see this. This is what happens when people with massive amounts of power rage out of control. Y’see, once upon a time, I was sorta like you: impulsive and with a short temper. I’m still like that. However, I have a lot of self control, such that I never ended up destroying any planets or Universes unless I needed to. This is what I’m offering. Self control. You really need this, especially if you’re going to blast every poor sod who makes moves on your sister with flames about a thousand times hotter than the core of earth’s sun.”

“Alright, alright! I get it! But, seriously, that’s disgusting!” Juno complained, still trying to escape Aaron’s grasp.

“What’s disgusting?” Jupiter asked.

“You… don’t want to know, Jupiter.” Aaron quickly covered her eyes, snapping and flinging each princess back into bed, each once more covered in bandages and golden light, this time with streamers of red light as well. “Honestly you four, you’re all still recovering from something that normally would have killed you. Please, take it easy. Twilight, you were hit the hardest, you need to rest. Cadence… actually, the steam from the arctic actually made you worse off than Celly and Lulu here. Take a breather and think happy thoughts. Celly, Lulu, if you must know, it’s been seventeen hours since your planet’s destruction and ten since its restoration. It seriously took me seven hours to find the sun and moon. Did you know they both flew off in opposite directions when the planet went supernova? I had to flitter across millions of miles.”

Aaron grinned sheepishly, “I also tried to restore the planet to just how it was before it exploded… so… I mean, I think I got all of it, but if I missed anything, feel free to tell me.”

Luna and Celestia visibly slumped in relief.

As Aaron was giving his speech, Juno took Jupiter’s hand and put his other to her lips to tell her to stay quiet. As he tried to sneak away Aaron spoke out.

“I sincerely hope you two aren’t trying to sneak out.”

“N-no, sir; just need some fresh air and I thought I’d spare Jupiter of such a sight, sir!” He then bolted for it, Jupiter in hand.

“Yare yare….” Aaron muttered, lashing out with his arm and sending it extending beyond the two. Once it reached a good twenty feet past Juno, it stretched out, becoming a massive spiderweb of shadow. “Honestly, if you’re going to lie about fresh air, at least wait for me to open a door for you two. Bakayarou.”

Juno skidded to a stop, just keeping Jupiter out of the web. “It was an expression, bakayarou!” he yelled back to him.

“Tch. Troublesome kids.” Aaron reeled back his arm at mach speed, catching both catfolk and bringing them back to him in a large net. “Seriously, what did you think was going to happen?”

“I thought you’d let us go. You’re being a real douche right now, you know that?” Juno deadpanned at the man with his net-arm around him and his sister.

“Do forgive me for caring more about the safety of a planet with about three billion sentient inhabitants over your physical comfort.” Aaron spoke condescendingly, waving his free hand as if he were nothing but an arrogant, stereotypical nobleman. Or a very sassy butler.

Juno just pouted, knowing that the shadow-man was right--not that he liked it.

“Besides, it’s not like you could get out without my permission. And even if you could, we’re floating in Void space, you’d start dissolving as soon as you hit the open…. air, for lack of a better term.” Aaron released the net and strode off towards the princesses, infusing them with a whole rainbow of various healing magics. Spell tomes fluttered around him like massive butterflies, glowing with arcane lights and providing spells for him to work.

The two runaways fell in a heap, Jupiter on top of Juno. “Sorry, Jupiter. Here.” Juno helped his sister up. “Now, since you’re trying to make a point for me, can Jupiter go?” He still avoided looking at the princesses, but he was at least owning up to his mistakes.

“I would, but your sister has terrible impulse control. I’m a little concerned that the lightning magic in her will have some sort of side effects over time, it certainly seems to have made her the exuberant girl she is now. I’m keeping the both of you here for now– you need emotional control, she needs impulse control.” Aaron waved a hand over each princess, scanning them and confirming their slow recovery.

Juno thought about this for a while, looking at his sister--who was still blindfolded. “Can we at least go somewhere else? No offense to your healing magics, but I don’t really want to look at… them,” he gestured to the princesses in the room.

Aaron slapped his forehead, the weird spots above the visor looking white splotch on his face narrowing. “D’oh! Right, sorry princesses, I’ll be back soon. Mini-mes, keep up the good work.” A chorus of salutes and affirmations rang out, mini-Aarons floating back into the air and launching healing spells at the four living corpses.

“Shall we?” Aaron held open a spontaneously appearing door, motioning for the two to step through.

There was a slight glare from Juno for Aaron’s forgetfulness, but he lead Jupiter through the opening regardless. The door opened to a well furnished sitting room; in fact, it was the same room that Aaron had commenced tea time in about a day prior.

“Is this better?” Aaron asked, already preparing tea.

“Much,” Juno said, taking off Jupiter’s blindfold.

“Hey! I know this place!” she said happily as she walked around the room, messing with the decorations.

“Yes you do. It is, in fact, that same room that I teleported us two and Flutters to when I cleaned your house and did the whole ‘tea time’ thing.” Aaron smiled indulgently, back to human for the time being.

“Oh,” she said dumbly, setting a clock down before taking a seat and placing her hands in her lap; trying to be calm, but obviously not very.

“Well then, why don’t you two take a seat? It’s about tea time again anyway.” Aaron poured out some tea for the three of them and sat in his favorite arm chair, sipping at the warm liquid.

“You really like that chair, don’t you?” Jupiter pointed out childishly right after the narrator pointed it out. “Can I sit in it?”

“Not while I’m still in it, but you’ll have plenty of time to indulge later. Back to business. Now, our arrangement as it stands right now is as follows. In return for me providing you both control training–yes, Jupiter, you need control training; you have terrible impulse control–I get two new employees to help me manage my shop. Fair wages and everything. And yes, that includes dental.”

“What about insurance?” Juno asked.

“That too.”

“You really like to monologue, too,” Jupiter pointed out, re-reading the paragra- Jupiter! Quit being too meta! “Sorry!” She yelled, back in her normal plane of existence.

“Yes, yes I do. It allows me to cram a very large amount of information into essentially nothing more than about a minute or two of straight talking at best.”

“I see….” Jupiter was wide-eyed at this sage information she was just handed. Taking a notebook out of nowhere, she began scribbling on a seemingly random page.

“I think that would be alright; if the princesses are fit to protect their world without us, that is,” Juno said, diplomatically crossing his arms.

“That they are. Reduced in power and ability though I may be, I still have enough left to tell that there’s nothing to really defend against in the future, save for the occasional interdimensional traveler.”

A meteor crashes into Juno and Jupiter’s home planet, having crossed the galaxy for many millennia to find its destination. The soft dirt of Equus was it’s new home after crashing through the atmosphere. Once it was snugly embedded in the dirt, out burst a frothing evil that none had seen before.

“I AM THE LORD OF ALL AND I SHALL ENSLAVE ALL ON THIS PLA-” The being was cut off as a small chunk of the meteor, which had broken off earlier in the fall, slammed into his head, taking it clean off.

The threat was ended then and there.

Nobody ever noticed the difference.

Aaron waved a hand at the window, showing off a glowing orb floating serenely among the chaotic backdrop of the Void. “See? It’s sky blue. That means good things.”

Juno stared at it blankly for a moment as Jupiter seemed completely and totally enthralled.

“I see.” He was not impressed.

“What, were you expecting a laser light show and an angelic chorus? Sorry, only special Universes get that treatment. Like the ones I built myself, to name a few.” Aaron shrugged, “Now then, the princesses should be done healing by tomorrow, so we’ll make a quick stop to drop ‘em off later. You both begin tomorrow.” That being said, he then proceeded to drop a pair of pamphlets in front of Juno and Jupiter, both with Aaron’s signature logo. “Read those to get an idea of what you’ll be doing. Keep them, too. They’re full of useful information for any situation.”

“Woah, woah, woah. We still haven’t agreed to this,” Juno pointed out while Jupiter flipped through the pamphlet, looking at the pictures only.

“Right, you haven’t. You still need to sign contracts to ensure you both get fair deals out of this.” Aaron waved a pair of contracts, sliding them into place in front of their respective recipients.

“No, I mean our world. If you’re out here, that must mean there are others. Couldn’t there be some that would attack our world? If there’s nobody to protect it, it could be in danger.” Juno still took the contract, beginning to read it over.

“Eh, I put some shields in place, also I… uh… I also sorta own your Universe now. So now nobody in the Void can screw with it without me coming down on them.”

Juno deadpanned at him. “Slaver much?”

“What? It’s not like I’m gonna do anything with it. Most of the time I just let them be… unless they massively screw up, but that’s different.”

He sighed, finally giving in. He quickly read through his contract, then traded it for his sister’s, making sure it was also alright while Jupiter folded his into a paper airplane.

“Jupiter, sign here.” He put a pen and her contract in front of her. She did as she was told.

Juno unfolded his contract. “But I worked so hard on it!” Jupiter protested, but ended up quietly pouting.

Aaron received the signed contracts. “Excellent! Now, there’s no real official uniform, but I’ve taken the liberty of filling your rooms with extra clothes, and whatever was in your cottage. My only requirement is that you look decently professional and wear a name tag. You both start tomorrow, read the pamphlets, don’t use the store wifi to look up pornography, yadda yadda yadda.” He set down his tea cup and snapped, spawning two glowing arrows, one blue, the other pink. “Follow the arrows. Your rooms are right across the hall from each other, and mine is just at the end of the hall. Now, the rest of the pamphlet covers the important things, so off with ye. It’s getting late, and the store opens at eight in the morning.” With that, Aaron disappeared, leaving behind the faint smell of dark chocolate and an echoing chuckle. The arrows started blinking, pointing out the door.

Juno was beyond confused.

“Eight in the morning relevant to what?!”

Author's Notes:

Haha~ I don't know what I'm doing~ And it feels great!