"Your dad is a fucking crime boss!" I exclaimed to Tavi as she was unpacking in her room, having just sat through one of the most awkward dinners I've ever had in my entire life.

"Hmm, what do you think?" Tavi replied in an easygoing manner, seeming to ignore my little outburst as she turned away from her open suitcase atop the bed and extended her hoof towards me that had two unfastened bow ties draped over it. "Which one should I wear tomorrow? The ebony colored one, or the obsidian?"

I narrowed my eyes at her in disbelief. "Didn't you hear me? I said that your dad's a crime boss! ...And they're both black!"

After gazing into my eyes with an expression that lacked any emotion, Tavi closed her eyes and shook her head as she turned back to her luggage, saying, "That's not true."

"Of course he is!" I objected. "He--"

Tavi cut me off with, "These bow ties obviously have different hues to them."

That almost made me yank the hairs off my head.

"This isn't about the bow ties, alright?!" I stated after making a disgruntled noise, eyes wide and hands still on my head with clumps of hair sticking out through my fingers. Lowering my hands, I held them up defensibly, then pointed both my pointer fingers towards the ceiling as I shut my eyes and looked away to compose myself. After taking a few breaths, I looked back to Tavi through the little goal post I was making with my fingers. "Tavi...maybe you haven't been hearing me well, and I don't want to alarm you, but... Your dad, yeah, he runs a crime syndicate. He's a crime boss, and he--"

"I know."

"And he...he..." Wait. What? "Wait. What?" My face contorted in confusion and disbelief as my arms fell limply to my sides. "You...you know?"

"Of course I know," she said with a nod before biting the suitcase's zipper and zipping it closed. Once she was done with that, Tavi turned back to me, baring a reassuring, yet concerned, smile. "My father might like to think that I don't know, but I always have. I am his daughter after all, I'd be an idiot not to notice."

Geez, I was so ready to support my argument that she's kinda taken the wind out of my sails.

"But, I...I... What a--what about your mom?"

"Mother? What about her?" she asked, curiously tilting her head to the side.

"Why didn't you say that she was Highground?"

In response to that, Tavi rolled her eyes with an amused scoff. "And what did you want me to say, hmm? 'Oh, Maurice, I'm so sorry that my mother kicked your flanks in an alley... By the way, are you still interested in dating me?'"

"Alright, alright, alright. Point taken." I said, waving my hands dismissively. "Still...your dad's a crime boss, and I don't want to be anywhere near him after he kidnapped me a few wee--"

"He kidnapped you?!" Tavi interrupted, pulling her head back in surprise. "When was this, and why didn't you say anything?!"

When did this turn into a game of interrogation pong?

"Hey," I said, hand on my chest, "I had no idea that he was your dad at the time, and the way he was talking about you kinda hinted that you were a member of his crime thing or whatever--and I didn't want to know if you were! Oh, and it happened weeks ago, like...the day after we started dating... He was telling me to break up with you..."

Tavi rolled her eyes in anger. "Oh, son of a...! He was out this entire time! I'm starting to believe that my chance encounter with Ledger in Ponyville wasn't a coincidence..."

Wait, is she more angry at that than the kidnapping and breaking up thing I just mentioned?

Right as I was about to say something, the door to the room glowed in a violet light, then opened on its own before Vinyl walked in, wearing her shades and bumping her head to music coming from her earphones as she ignored us and walked to the side of the room where the rest of the luggage was.

"Oh, perfect timing!" Tavi yelled to no one in particular, gesturing at Vinyl as she started searching through her duffle bag.

The volume of the music must have been low, because Vinyl lowered the earphones down to her neck, then turned to Tavi before curiously replying with, "Yeah?"

"Did you know that my father was no longer being tried?" Tavi asked.

"Eh, yes. Yes I did," she answered with a nod, not skipping a beat.

Tavi narrowed her eyes angrily at her. "And you didn't care to share this information with me because...?"

"Whoa-ho, don't look at me like that," Vinyl said, raising a hoof up. "Right after we left Canterlot, you were the one who was all like," poorly imitating Tavi's voice, and sounding more like a masculine version of herself, Vinyl then said, "'Oh shut up about the trial. I don't want to know a thing about it. Blah blah, yada yada.' Well I was doing you a favor, Octy! And because of it, Maurice here thought that I was a freakin' pyro!"

"Is that why you were burning the newspapers?" I added. "But...but the funny pages...

Raising a brow, Vinyl turned to me and shook her head lightly. "Trust me, you weren't missing much."

"I...I see," Tavi said, causing Vinyl and I to turn our attention back to her. "I do recall saying something akin to that...and I guess in your own mind, you were only doing me a favor, Vinyl, so I apologize for yelling."

"It's cool," Vinyl answered with a dismissive shrug, turning back to the duffle bag and searching through its contents. "Not the first, and definitely not the last time you're gonna yell at me for something. Say uh...you haven't seen my toothbrush, have you? Can't seem to find it."

Closing her eyes, Tavi took a few seconds to rub her forehead. "Ugh, Vinyl...you should know where it is. Weren't you the one tasked with packing our toiletries? I'm hoping you didn't lose mine..."

"Hey, I didn't remember to pack all that stuff away until last minute, but I know it's in here somewhere. Oh hey, well I found both of yours." Vinyl levitated one pink and one black toothbrush out of the bag, then floated them over to rest atop the dresser. "Eh, mine's must be at the bottom of it or something." Using her magic, she picked up her own and two other bags, then carried them to the door. Once she was under the doorway, she stopped and turned back to us. "Well, me and the girls are gonna get ready for bed, so," she gave us a little salute with her hoof, "night, you two."

And at that, she walked fully out of the room, then closed the door behind her as I heard her hoof-steps walk down the hallway.

Once she was out of earshot, I placed my hands at my sides and looked around Tavi's old room, as I had calmed down enough to finally notice it. It was a large bedroom with warm and inviting cream-colored walls, had furniture seemingly made from high-quality materials such as two white couches facing each other with a coffee table in-between them, a dresser, a wardrobe, and two nightstands with lamps atop them placed at both sides of a queen-sized bed with white velvet sheets. Also, judging by the posters of what looks like the 90's equivalent of Equestrian boy-bands adorned on some of the walls, I could make a good guess as to what age Tavi was the last time she used this room.

"Maurice," Tavi said, prompting me to turn back to her. Looking at me with a tense smile, she took a breath before continuing. "I understand how you might feel, what with my father's non-official occupation and such, but--"

"What does he do officially?" I asked, doubting the answer to be ice-cream man.

"Hmm? Oh, he's an importer/exporter."

Rolling my eyes at that, I pointed a thumb at my chest, then said in a mocking tone, "And I'm Art Vandelay!"

Tavi tilted her head in confusion. "Art Vande..." She gave her head a quick shake before looking back at me. "I thought your name was Maurice?"

"What? No, it is. That was just a...eh, never mind."

"Right, I'm assuming this is one of your strange human things," she said after giving me an annoyed and skeptic look. "Anyway, what I was trying to say was that my father's not that bad. Sure, he may seem intimidating at times, but that's all an act. In reality, he detests violence and only uses it as a last resort. In fact, his smuggling organization does more good than harm. For example, countless alcoholic establishments survive and thrive here in Equestria because he supplies them with brands that make them stand out, and he even provides them with actual protection from being extorted by other gangs and such. Also, more importantly, he frequently donates a large sum of the bits he made to multiple charities, resulting in the foal's wing in Canterlot hospital to be named after him!"

"Ok, I get your point!" I said, waving my open palms back and forth, hoping to stop this little rant she was getting into. I then ran a hand through my hair. "Still doesn't excuse the fact that he was trying to get me to break up with you..."

Tavi made an amused sound. "Ha, trust me Maurice...you're not the first one my father's pulled that stunt on. Rest assured, I'll be sure to discuss that with him tomorrow if it'll make you feel better, but for now," she walked over to the dresser and secured her toothbrush in her mouth, opened the room's door, stepped out into the hallway, then turned back to me and carefully spoke around it, "it's late, and I'd like to turn in for the night. Come, take your brush and follow me to the bathroom."

"Fine," I said after picking it up, feeling a bit tired myself. "So what's the sleeping situation? Do I get my own room, or...?"

Scoffing amusingly around the toothbrush held in her mouth, Tavi rolled her eyes. "Oh don't be silly," she articulated around the brush, "My cousins have their own room, Vinyl's sleeping with Lyra and Bon Bon, and since you seem to still harbor some nervousness regarding my father, you'll be sleeping here with me."

After looking at the toothbrush in my hand, then Tavi, I raised my thumb in her direction before sarcastically saying in an exited tone, "Yeah...great idea! Let's give your dad even more of a reason to whack me! Just let him know that I'm not into dudes if he's planning on giving me the kiss of death!"

Despite how tired I was, under the bed covers and in my sleeping clothes with Tavi nuzzling my side in her sleep, slumber eluded me, as I was staring at the darkened ceiling with several things running through my mind. A few of these thoughts that were keeping me up were: Why do they make lemon scented bug spray? Death shouldn't smell like lemons! and How can my feet smell when they don't have noses?

Ok, ok, terrible and ripped off joking aside, if it wasn't obvious, I was up because I still wasn't over the fact that Speakeasy and Highground were Tavi's parents, and that I was currently under one of their roofs.

A normal person might ask what were the chances of that happening, but knowing that the universe (universes if Equestria is in a separate one) has been conspiring against me since day one, I really shouldn't be surprised. Things rarely went well for me, and when they did, it was usually because dominoes were being lined up to get knocked over later.

Still, Tavi said that her dad was harmless, something that I'd like to take her word for, but what about her mother? I'd rather not get another punch to the kidney again. Hmm, I recall Tavi saying that her folks were never married, so there's a good chance that she's not even here, which is something to be hopeful for at least...

Ugh, too much thinking. I just need to shut down, go to sleep, and maybe salvage what I can of tomorrow. Alright brain, just shut down...shut do--aw geez, is that...? Great, seems that in my haste to get ready for bed, I forgot to drain the main vein...

After gently turning to Tavi, and using what little night vision I had to confirm that she was still asleep, I carefully slid out from under her, got on my feet, tip-toed to the door, slowly opened it, then stepped into the dimly lit hallway and proceeded to make my way to the bathroom.

Minutes later, after taking care of business, I was making my way back to Tavi's room, but stopped when I spotted Vinyl, Lyra, and Bon Bon through one of the ajar doors I was passing by. Peeking through it, I saw that they were all asleep atop the one bed in the room, their frames highlighted by the moonlight shining in through the window. Lyra was spooning Bon Bon on one half of the bed, while Vinyl was laying on her back on the other half, drooling out the side of her mouth as she splayed her legs out, threatening to knock the other two off the bed. Occasionally, one of Vinyl's legs would give off a little twitch.

"Oi," I heard a voice utter from my side, surprising me when I turned to the source of it. There, looking at me with a skeptical brow as she hovered there with her forelegs crossed, was the same dark purple, freckled faced pegasus mare wearing a newsboy cap who I remember being one of the ponies who kidnapped me all those weeks ago. "Hmm, bein' a bi' of a lurker, aren't ya?" she said in that cockney sounding accent of hers.

"Hey," the light green earthpony stallion in the black and white striped vest, who helped with said kidnapping, softly greeted at her side, raising a hoof as he beamed a friendly smile.

Placing my hand over my eyes, I shook my head, then spoke in a low voice in order to avoid waking the girls. "I wasn't lurking, and of course you two assholes would be here..."

The stallion's ears lowered as he frowned at that. "Hey, I like to think that I was somewhat nice to you the last time we met," he said.

"Well uh...Suds, was it?" I questioned as I crossed my arms and leaned forward. "I was tied to a freaking chair; not the nicest of things unless there was a safe word..."

Shrugging his shoulders, he rubbed the back of his head. "Well yeah, but I--it's Hops, by the way--but I at least offered you a doughnut and some coffee." Hops then gestured at the pegasus hovering besides him. "In my defense, it was Amber's idea to kidnap you in the first place; I just happen to go along with it."

I shook my head. "Yeah, I don't really care who's idea it wa--"

"Oh shut ya trap, both of ya!" Amber interrupted, silencing us both as she looked from me to Hops with annoyance underlined in her expression. Turning back to me, she adjusted her cap atop her head. "Anyway, sorry to burst your bubble, but we're not here to give you some perver'ed S&M bondage shite." She then made a gesture with her hoof for me to follow. "Come with me, boss wants a word with ya."

"Ah geez," I said to the floor. "I figured I was going to be murdered in this house... Just...didn't expect to die in my jammies..."

"Wha' are ya doin' standing there, talkin' to the floor like a bumbling idiot?" Amber questioned in an ill-tempered tone before flying behind me and pushing me forward down the hall. "Boss said he wants a word with you, so git!"

Amazed by the fact that she had the stamina to push me past several doors, I soon moved away from her hooves, faced her, then stared back into her narrowed eyes with my own as I patted my sleeping shirt. Once that was done, I stepped aside and gestured for her to lead on. To my shock and amazement, I swore I actually saw her flash a grin for a few seconds before she hovered past.

After following her down a series of hallways, with Hops tailing at the rear, we soon made it to a glossy wooden door that had a golden plaque near the top of it; engraved on it was Speakeasy's cutie mark, and atop it in cursive was 'The Battlin' Mustang'. Once Amber opened the door and held it for me, I walked in and...whoa, now there's a sudden transition regarding interior design. The rest of the house that I've seen appeared to be a luxurious mansion, but entering this room made me think that I had just stepped into a real pub. It was made from less fancy, but still high-quality materials, and, despite the fact that it was late in the night, there were several ponies here having a drink and chatting amongst themselves, almost all of whom where dressed in a vest tie combo of various colors.

Looking around the place as I stepped further in, and almost knocking into one of the maids I saw earlier carrying a tray of drinks to a table, I soon spotted Speakeasy wearing a white apron behind the counter, smiling contently to himself as he poured beer out of a faucet and into a mug before placing it on the counter and sliding it to a waiting mare at the other end of it. Sitting on a stool across the counter from him was Ledger, drinking something out of a whiskey glass that had ice in it.

"Well hey, there you are!" Speakeasy greeted, finally noticing me as he waved me over. "Like what you see? It's a recreation of my pop's bar: The Battlin' Mustang." Smiling, he then pointed at the stool next to Ledger. "Well come on, don't be shy. Take a seat." Taking him up on his offer, I sat down and rested my elbows on the counter as I looked around, spotting Amber and Hops as they walked over to a group playing darts in the corner. "So, what'd ya like?" Speakeasy asked, causing me to refocus on him. "I've got just about everything here." Rolling his eyes with a smirk, he then said, "And no, that excludes anything illegal or bootlegged. Heh, I'm not stupid enough to have anything like that in my own home of all places."

"Eh, no thanks," I answered as I slowly waved my hand in a dismissive manner. "I don't drink this late at night."

"Oh come on," Speakeasy said, rhythmically tapping his hooves atop the counter. "Have something. We're gonna be talking for quite a bit, so you might as well. How about a chocolate milk, hmm? Some good ol', chocolaty, vitamin D."

"Ugh, fine." I uttered in defeat. "Chocolate milk then."

"Got'cha," he said before fiddling with some things behind the counter, then used his magic moments later to pull out a whiskey glass full of chocolate milk and placed it on the counter before me. After a few moments passed of me just staring at the glass, Speakeasy then said, "You know, I didn't poison that if that's what you're thinking." Not answering him, he then rolled his eyes before lifting the glass up to his lips to take a sip. "See?" he said with a chocolaty milk mustache, placing the glass back on the counter. "Not poisoned."

"I know that," I answered, breaking my silence. "I was thinking if I should ask you to put some ice in it."

"Oh, well you should have just asked then." Using his magic, ice cubes floated out from what I'm assuming to be a freezer behind the counter, then plopped one by one into my drink. "And, just for you, I'm gonna place this tiny umbrella in it." After a few more moments of me, yet again, staring silently at the glass, Speakeasy adopted a puzzled look on his face. "Well, aren't you going to try it?"

Shrugging, I simply answered with, "No."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because I don't want it anymore."

He cocked his head curiously to the side. "Because of the umbrella?"

I shook my head. "No, because you drank from it."

Speakeasy facehoofed. "Where's that patience I had to pay a fortune to send the entire jury at my trial to an all expense paid vacation? Because now I'm starting to think that maybe I should have poisoned it after all..."

Ledger chuckled, then, after sitting silently besides me this entire time I was here, he spoke. "Easy there, father. You yourself said that that wasn't our style, and it'd be very difficult to convince the authorities that he died because he accidentally swallowed the glass whole."

After releasing a deep sigh to compose himself, Speakeasy removed his hoof from his face and looked at me. "So...I'm going to assume that my daughter's already spilled the beans and told you that I'm not actually going to do a thing to you."

"She might have mentioned something like that earlier..." I answered, cupping the cool whiskey glass of chocolate milk. "So why call me over? You're not trying to be scary like last time, so what is this?"

The corner of Speakeasy's mouth moved upwards. "Well I'm glad you asked. I was hoping we could discuss you breaking up with my daughter."

Ah, so it's this again.

"Why?" I asked, shifting the glass around and making the ice cubes clink. "Is it because I'm human?"

Speakeasy released an amused scoff. "Kid, it has nothing to do with that." His eyes moved upwards as he then placed a hoof on his chin. "Oh, wait... I guess it kind of does..."

I don't have to sit for this. Placing my palms on the counter, I prepared myself to get up. "Listen, no matter what you think, Tavi and I are both adults, and if you have a problem with me being human, well..." Aaand nothing witty or profound comes to mind... "Well...that's your problem."

Once I got up and made a few steps towards the exit, Speakeasy spoke.

"Whoa-ho-ho, slow down there; it's not what you think. Listen, if you sit back down and hear what I have to say, then I promise never to bother you with that again, deal? Heck, when we reach the end of it, maybe you'll realize why I'm asking."

So he'll stop asking that if I just sit down and listen? Granted, he's only asked that of me twice, but I get the feeling that this will be a recurring thing if I don't accept his offer now.

Taking a breath, I sat back on the stool, then, after taking a sip of the chocolate milk from a side that he didn't drink from, I pointed at him while still holding the glass. "You get one shot...don't waste it."

Speakeasy grinned. "Hmm, civil, I like that. Anyway, I'm going to start with a little story." He then guested around himself. "See this place? The mansion? The servants? My business? Well, long before Octavia was born, I had none of this.

"See, my pops used to be the barkeeper of the original Battlin' Mustangs, and he only had two passions in this world: that bar, and me. Now I know what you're probably thinking: 'Why didn't he list his ma? Well I'm getting to that. I never knew my ma; pops tried to protect me by saying that she died when I was young, but you hear alot of loose, drunken lips when growing up in a bar. Turns out ma was a, well...mare of the night, and I don't mean that she was Princess Luna or a bat pony. Right when my pops had earned an inheritance from a recently deceased uncle of his, she happened to show up in his life and stole his heart.

"Oh my poor pops; he didn't realize that she was only after his money, and was heartbroken when it ran out and she left. Many months after that, baby-me was left on his doorstep in a crib with a note basically saying 'Here's your snot-nosed brat, now you take care of him'. Heh, almost all of those rumors say that he was thankful for me at least. So, I was a little colt running around my pop's bar, giving all the costumers their drinks. I was kind of the bar's little mascot, and despite what others may have thought, I was happy to be doing it, because that bar was my passion just as much as it was my pop's.

"Fast forward near the end of my teen years and this gang led by a guy named Moonshine shows up. Now Moonshine, he was a real son of a bitch; guy had these thick red eyebrows he was known for, was ruthless, and had little to no empathy for others. Like, for a small example, he knocks this mare up--who everypony knew he was the only one she was seeing--then straight up denies being the father and kicks her out. I felt sorry for that foal who was born later, eh, Moondancer her name is, and to this day I check up yearly on her to see how she's doing. Sometimes, a gift basket with some bits in it mysteriously arrive at her doorstep, though I don't exactly know what she does with them since her house seems to have more books than bricks...

"Oh, shit, getting off track." Speakeasy coughed into his hoof. "Anyway...so Moonshine and his gang move in to Canterlot and start muscling in on all small businesses, demanding that they be paid tribute or else. They soon come to the Battlin' Mustang, but my pops wasn't one to roll over, so he refused. They leave and we think that everything's all peachy...that was until we came back the next day and found that the Mustang was smashed up overnight. Going to the police did nothing for us; if it had happened in a nicer part of the city, then maybe they would have lifted a hoof.

"So, we did the only thing we could do and paid the tribute, but because my pops was the first one to refuse, Moonshine decided to make an example out of him. He had his goons steal our alcohol shipments, cutting off our lifeblood! He couldn't get all of the shipments, but still, it was hurting the bar, and, over time, my pop's health. Things go so bad that pops became bedridden, so without him knowing, I quit school and ran the bar without him; at the time, it seemed like the right move for me to do, since I was planning on working there full time anyway after high school.

"Things were touch and go for a while, but I was able to keep the Mustang afloat." Speakeasy then looked around, his eyes seeming to be watery. "But...all of that didn't matter anymore, because things took a turn for the worse and my pops soon passed. Heh...had him buried with his favorite mug from the Mustang...

"With pops gone, I didn't have the...the drive to keep the bar running, and I was soon forced to sell it to...to Moonshine..." Speakeasy then released an irritable sigh. "He didn't exactly buy it for a high price, so when I needed money just to survive, I had no choice but to work for the dick. Moonshine only hired those of us who seemingly had no futures 'cause that made us expendable in a way, and allowed him to pay us peanuts because he knew there was nothing else we could do for a living.

"So, I joined Moonshine's gang, and being at the very bottom of the shit list, I did a few things I wasn't proud of; he had me doing the exact same things to others that landed me in my predicament. Skip ahead two or three years of this and Moonshine brings me and a few boys along with him to a warehouse this one night for a meeting he had set up with a large store owner, as it wasn't uncommon for them to hire us to scare the smaller businesses in line.

"We get into the warehouse, meet the guy, and Moonshine starts talking business with him. But, as the two are talking, I notice that the guy seemed a little antsy, like he was waiting for something. Right when Moonshine and the guy finish their agreement and shake hooves, cops started storming into the warehouse! Turns out that Moonshine messed with the wrong ponies, because the guy was wearing a wire and the police were finally doing something about him.

"But, as happy as I was that Moonshine was finally getting what was a long time coming, I couldn't get myself arrested too. So, I bolted right out of the warehouse before they could get me. I ran through several blocks as quick as I could, even went over, under, and around fences." To my surprise, Speakeasy then smiled as he covered his eyes while shaking his head. "But it turns out that I wasn't being fast enough, because I could see through my peripheral vision the blue uniform of a cop flying behind me and closing the distance.

"I kept thinking that I could still escape, even while the cop finally caught up and grappled me to the ground. I finally realized that I couldn't when I felt the click of a hoofcuff locking in place around one of my forehoofs. Admitting the fact that I was caught and heading to jail, I got up and looked at my captor... I didn't know it then, but she was the most gorgeous mare I've ever seen in my life, and she had the other half of the hoofcuff locked around her foreleg so I wouldn't run off...

"Her name was Moral, a bat pony with the most beautiful scarlet red mane, and I remembered her from back before I left school; it would have been difficult for me to forget her, 'cause most bat ponies back then remained in Hollow Shades since Luna had yet to return.

"So, I was cuffed to her, and she began to drag me back to the warehouse where the others were. But, I really did run far, and before we could even get close to the warehouse, the scheduled rainstorm finally kicked in, forcing us to take shelter under a bridge from the heavy rain. A while after we had gotten in that dry little area and waited the storm out, we began to talk, and, it took her a while, but she was finally able to remember me. She and her friends used to go into the Mustang all the time with fake ID's; I never called them out on them, and always made sure to only give them the lightest stuff.

"Frankly, she was surprised and disappointed that I ended up working for an ass like Moonshine, but I told her of what happened and of what little choice I had. She was understanding, but couldn't just let me go; she was a rookie and I was her first arrest. Plus, she...didn't exactly have the key on her... No, we had to wait under that bridge until the storm ended. But, as the night went on...I don't know if it was something I said, or maybe it was the mood, but, well... Well we started kissing...like, furiously, and it's a good thing that cord connecting us together was as long as it was, because I was able get behind her and angle my--"

"Ok!" I interrupted as I raised my hand, my other hand holding up the near empty glass of chocolate milk. "At this point, poison's starting to look better and better..."

"Fine, fine, I'll spare you those details," Speakeasy said amusingly with a roll of his eyes. "Ok, so, after coitus, I still didn't want to go to jail, so being super quiet so that I didn't wake Moral sleeping beside me, I manged to use a discarded bobby bin I found and used it to pick the hoofcuff, then ran off into the night and escaped.

"Two or three weeks pass, and surprisingly, nopony came to arrest me; I figured that Moral never told the higher ups that she knew who I was. So, staying in my little shit-hole of a home as I planned how to stretch what little money I had left, I was surprised by a knock at the door. Wondering who it was since I don't get any visitors, I open it and was surprised to see that it was Moral. Before I had the chance to ask how she found me or why she was here, she..." Speakeasy looked like he was having a hard time containing his smile. "She...she threw a pregnancy test at my face. It was positive. She said that she was keeping the foal and that I at least had the right to know.

"You can not believe the mix of emotions I felt as I held up that little pee-stick in front of my face, but, I knew what I had to do then and there. I proposed to her...and she turned me down... Said that her officer salary was more than enough to raise the foal, and that I wouldn't be able to contribute a thing since I already had enough trouble feeding myself...she was right.

"As I watched the mare carrying my unborn foal walk out of my life...something in me, I don't know, changed. I suddenly wanted more, I wanted to be part of my foal's life the second it was born, to give it everything I never had. It was my foal, and I would give it the world if I could. My drive, the one similar to the one I had back when I ran the Battlin' Mustang with pops all those years ago, returned...

"Using this newly rekindled drive, and having previously worked in a bar, I knew how much more we could sell foreign brands in Equestria, so I convinced some of my remaining 'co-workers' to go along with my idea, and we soon started our smuggling operations. It really is a victim-less crime, and I wasn't going to stoop down to Moonshine's level by being a thug...my foal deserved a better father than that. We started off small, but over time, our success started to snowball and more and more ponies who were in situations like myself wanted in, and unlike Moonshine, I paid fairly. But, even with all of my successes, I never forgot where I came from; you might not be able to stop crime, but you can at least divert it way from less deserving folks.

"Skip ahead to a few months before my little Octavia was born, I had my lawyer serve Moral a document saying that I was filing for joint custody. She agreed to it, but ever since then, she's made it her personal mission to catch me on her own; after all, just like she is to me, I'm the one who got away."

I set my empty whiskey glass back on the counter. "Ok, so that explains how you and her mom are at opposite sides of the law...but what was the point in telling me all this?"

"Heh, kid, weren't you listening?" Speakeasy asked as he leaned forward to place his elbow on the counter and his head on his hoof. "I want to give my daughter the one thing I never had...a full family. I proposed to Moral countless times as Octavia was growing up, and each time she turned me down, so that's why I'm asking you to break up with her. You're human--an otherworldly creature that has no magic; you'd never be able to have foals with her, and I want grand-kids to spoil. And even if you could, what do you really have going for yourself? You might be living comfortably right now, but I doubt tour guides make enough of a salary to support a family."

I just stared at him, having no idea how to react to all this...

Speakeasy raised his hooves up defensibly. "Now I'm not trying to insult you or anything, all I'm trying to say is that you're not the guy qualified to make my daughter truly happy." Reaching over the counter, he placed his hoof on Ledger's shoulder. "Instead, that job goes to Ledger here. Ever since I became his legal guardian, I've been grooming him to be the perfect gentlestallion for my daughter, and to be my successor for when it's time for me to retire. Octavia and him actually dated before for a short time, but for some reason, she cut it off with him. I'm hoping that she finally opens her eyes and realizes that he's the guy for her, but for that to happen, she has to stop seeing yo--"

"Oh enough already, father!"

All three of us jumping at that, I turned around and spotted Tavi standing there, her expression crossed and mane showing the early stages of bed hair.

Approaching us to stand in the space between my stool and Ledger's, she rose on her hindlegs and slammed her forehooves on the counter.

"I suspected you were up to something when I woke up and failed to find Maurice besides me," she angrily said to her father.

Sporting a nervious smile as he pulled his head back, Speakeasy's gaze wandered the room as he rubbed his neck. "Oh, uh, s-sweetie, I was just offering your coltfriend here a glass of choc--"

"Father."

His eyes snapped back to her's. "Eh, yes?"

"Stow it. I know every well what you were trying to do...I walked in near the end of all that, and Maurice has told me of what you did to him weeks ago..."After rubbing her forehead while shaking her head with an annoyed grunt, Tavi looked back to him. "I can't believe you're doing this again! If it's not you scaring away my coltfriends, it's mother! I swear, if you two cooperated from day one, I'd remain a virgin to this day!"

To my surprise and amusement, Speakeasy slammed his hooves over his ears, covering them. "La la la la la!" he shouted with his eyes closed. "Didn't need or want to hear that! My beautiful daughter, who I love so much, still is and always has been a virgin! La la la la la!"

Tavi rolled her eyes. "Oh grow up! Are you my father, or Vinyl's!?" She then turned to Ledger. "I know that you were probably just dragged into this, Ledger, but I'll say this again in front of my father so he'll understand: We tried us before, but it just didn't work out. I see you more as a brother than anything else, and we're just...incompatible; I hope you understand."

Smiling a bit, Ledger shrugged. "Oh I understand. I will admit that I am a little disappointed to hear that...again...but ultimately, it's your decision. I'll still wish you the best of luck with Maurice here."

"Thank you," she said with a small bow of her head to him before turning to me. "Alright Maurice, get up, we're going back to bed."

"Alright, alright," I said with a yawn as I rose off the stool. Following Tavi to the door, I stopped, then turned back to Speakeasy. "Hey uh...before I go, there's one thing I'd like to ask."

Opening an eye to look at me, Speakeasy removed his hooves from his ears. "Yeah, what is it?"

"The morning after we first met...that was a neat trick you did with that spider. How'd you do that?"

Looking at me with the most genuinely confused expression, Speakeasy's reply caused my eyes to widened in horror.

"Spider? What spider?"

Author's Notes:

Here's my patreon. Come on guys, I'd really like to go to my first ever convention. Babscon.