Author's Notes:

Gays
Usually
Allow
Riding
Dicks

I sat in the guard showers, trying to ignore the stallions next to me pumping each others assholes. I felt my dick try to crawl back inside me as the one taking it moaned into the shower wall. The one giving it had the bottom pinned against the wall and was pressing himself against the bottom's back.

A small white unicorn walked over to me. "Sir?"

I shook my head. "No...."

The guard smiled and folded his ears back. "Sorry Sir." He grew a bit pink and walked towards the pair going at it.

I shifted to another shower and gave the pair some space. I watched as a mare guard walked up next to me. She shook her head and stood under me. "Yeah...I don't get it either." She bumped her hips up against my crotch. "I don't--"

"No." I ran my hands through my hair and shifted around the mare. "Stop touching me."

The mare backed up. "Still? You know it's guard tradition, right?"

"Banging in the showers can stay a fucking tradition then." I kept washing as the stallions to the right shifted up and the one that propositioned me started to get loaded up from both ends. "Jesus fucking Christ...."

The mare next to me looked up at me and shook her head. "It's just to keep clean. You get too pent up and it doesn't--"

"I have a wife!" I held my arms out. "I've got a hot wife! I've got a hot wife that I fuck!" I rubbed my head. "I've got a princess as a wife, that I fuck, that is hot, that-- Actually...she probably wouldn't care if I joined in, but still." I shook my head. "A, I'm not gay, and B, I promised her she was the one. And that shit matters to me!"

The guard mare cocked an eyebrow. "Hmm. So you just watch?"

I glared down at her. "...Moonshine?"

Her smile melted in seconds. "Sir I was jo--"

I turned to the group of stallions. "Boys, got a mare here! Needs a little company!" The huddle of interlinked ponies stopped their fucking and faced me. I stared in awe at the series of mounts. "Uh...or...just keep--"

A large mare walked up behind the first. "Sir...I got this." She hung her foreleg on the smaller mare's back. "Come on sweetheart, let's have some fun."

Moonshine stared at me, locked in place. "I don't think I--"

"Tradition, right?" I went back to washing off. "Or should that not be a thing all the sudden?"

Moonshine squirmed as the larger mare rubbed her back. "I'm gonna go dry off...."

I nodded. "Probably a good idea." I washed off my junk. "Oh, and I'm cutting your rations." I smiled to myself, letting my truly evil nature boil up in the twisted features of my face.

"Aaah fuck! Fuck--my ass!"

My smile drooped low as something sticky ran across my heel and towards the drain. I stared at the floor and turned off the water. "Gonna just...." I stepped out and found my towel. "Shower with Celestia instead...."