It took me until I had awoken the next day to realise I hadn’t asked for a scabbard for the sword, I was kinda pissed about that honestly but didn’t show it, it was my own fault. Diamond was missing when I got up for breakfast but Twilight and Spike were sitting at the table happily, Spike eating some blue gem and Twilight eating oatmeal. She smiled when she saw me come out of my room, I still wasn’t overly sure where Diamond slept but didn’t care enough to ask.

“How did the trip go?” Twilight asked as I sat down, pouring some apple juice into a glass.

“Alright, met a girl called Roseluck and some musician called Glaze, went to the city wall-” Was all I got up before Spike jumped up, with wide eyes.

“YOU MET GLAZE?” He asked, rather loudly. I flinched slightly at the noise.

“Yeah, green and yellow chick, she was pretty cool. Anyway-“

“Dude! Pretty cool doesn’t even begin to describe Gla-“

“Spike, please stop interrupting, let Aron continue. It won’t help his anxiety if you do.” Twilight said quietly, she didn’t stop him by being so calm, she stopped him talking his a hoof to the mouth. Now where interrupting can be a dick move to someone like me, but mentioning that someone like me has anxiety is about as helpful as interrupting to being with. I didn’t complain though, Twilight meant well and Ponyland had done wonders to my anxiety already.

“Anyway, we went to the city walls, I saw the defences and we went to go see Toyar the blacksmith about the sword, he basically confirmed it was enchanted but wasn’t sure if it was Spiritus or not, warned me against going to the mage tower until I knew if it was enchanted or not, meaning I had to use the thing. Which I won’t be too upset if I never get the chance to do.” I said, Twilight nodded a couple times.

“But think about what you could learn if it is!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Yeah but ‘using’ a sword usually means killing someone and I really don’t want to do that.”

“Well I’m sure if you never use it you could just give it to the mage tower, sure about enchantments or not.”

“That’s the plan.” I muttered, well, the plan now that she had mentioned the idea. “We also went by the castle and saw Celestia for a bit, she is trying to plan a meeting between me and her. And Luna is confirmed to want to see me.”

“Wonder what she wants to talk about.” Twilight muttered, looking into her oatmeal for a second.

“Probably going to do the same thing everyone has done thus far, ask me what the fuck I am.”

“I meant Celestia.”
“Oh, she said something about wanting to get to know me more, she seems like a decent enough person, one I can trust. Plus she would be the best to ask about the history of this place, I’ve picked up some bits from Diamond and you so far. Seems pretty fascinating.”

“You can trust me Aron.” Twilight said, sounding a little hurt. Spike just randomly stood up and walked off somewhere.

“People keep saying I can trust them and they trust me after only being here a few days. But I know Twilight, I say ‘trust’, but it’s not like that, I wouldn’t tell her anything I wouldn’t tell you or Diamond.” Well besides the state secrets and maybe some of my own past.

“Alright. You two doing anything today?”

“Not that I know of, I fucked up and forgot a scabbard for the sword but I ain’t going all the way to fucking Canterlot just to get one.”

“We have a blacksmith here if you want to ask her.” I raised my eyebrows at that.

“Alright I might do that. Do you know if she works with chemicals at all, or if there are any chemical engineers around Ponyville?”

“Hmm. Not in Ponyville no. And Smith doesn’t work with chemicals that I know of, you’d have to ask. I’ll ask Spike to take you to her after breakfast.”

“What are you doing then?”

“Studying, I have a friendship report to write.” That stumped me.

“That sounds like an analogy for something.” Twilight let out a cute laugh at that, which brought a smile to my face. I suddenly heard Diamond say something behind me and turned in my chair to see him and Spike talking about boys or something.

“No Princess Celestia sent me to Ponyville to make friends and has asked that I send weekly reports of things I have learnt as a friend.”

“Oh alright, send something like ‘friends can be easy to trust as long as the trust is returned.’” I said, waving my hand around.

“That sounds like a good report, I guess my day has been cleared then.”

“If it is so hard to find something new to learn about friendship you are trying too hard, just relax and see what life brings.”

“But I don’t want to get tardy!” She shrieked.

“Tardy? Really?” She just blushed slightly and smiled. “Whatevs, don’t listen to me, I’m a lazy mofo.”

“Mo-fo?”

“Short for motherfucker.”

“What’s a-“

“A word not to be repeated, swearing is bad and you should feel bad.”

“You’re teaching Diamond!”

“Yeah and he knows the right time to fucking use it.”

“Just then seemed like a weird time to use it.”

“It was, I use swears for filler, not practically.”

“Why can’t I then?”

“Because you’re intelligent to use real works as filler and I only do it because I swear far too much.”

“Alright fine. Or, whatevs.” She scrunched up saying whatevs, it was adorable.

“You’re too smart to use slang Twilight, you look like you hurt yourself just saying that.” There was a short silence whilst I ate some apple slices before Diamond joined us.

“Morning.” He grunted, I continued chewing for a couple seconds before replying, it got awkward since I had just taken a bite.

“Sup.” I replied.

“Fascinating. You do not talk whilst chewing but you use such slang.” He said, leaning closer to me, Twilight actually did the same after that, Spike didn’t care.

“Yeah mate, I have manners, and I know when to use them, like talking with your mouth full and a couple others. My speech is another matter.”

“Any plans for today Aron?” Diamond asked.

“Was gonna ask you honestly, Twilight suggested we go see the blacksmith about a scabbard for me s-woord so that’s on my list of shit to do, after that I got nothing’.” He blinked when I pronounced sword wrong, it’s a way I’ve heard before from a friend and use it from time to time.

“Why did you not ask Toyar to make you one yesterday?”

“Forget din’t I?” Short pause for dramatic effect, well, apple eating. “Plus I got him working on those chemicals so didn’t want to overburden him when I can’t pay shit anyway. Which reminds me-.”

“I’ll pay for the scabbard if you explain the want for chemicals you have.” Twilight said, I looked at her for a second before looking at Diamond again.

“Trying to make a human invention, I need sulphur, charcoal and saltpetre, it might not work but I’m interested to see if it does.”

“Weird mixture, one I’ve never heard of, and what does it make?” I paused at that, I figured if Diamond knew and Celestia had spies in Canterlot she already knew what I was making, plus Twilight wouldn’t rat me out about something as dangerous as a grenade right? She totally didn’t with the swor- oh wait.

“Gunpowder, I know very little about it myself, except it is used in ammunition for some human weapons and in small explosive devices called grenades. I’m trying to replicate grenades.”

“When you say explosive?”

“I will be testing it far away from any other living creature and most likely won’t be the one pulling the pin.” Diamond blinked at that. “I’ll try and get a unicorn to float it far away and then activate it.” He visibly relaxed.

“I volunteer.” Twilight said, smiling.

“It might be dangerous, but as I said, just hover it as far away as possible before setting it off.”

“Why make something so dangerous then, isn’t that, dangerous?”

“Yes but again, interest is in seeing if it can be done, rather than making them on bulk and actually using them.”

“Alright. What did you mean when you said ammunition?”

“Do you guys have bows, or crossbows? I know you have ballista.”

“Yes some are trained in using crossbows rather than spears, not many though. Most ranged fighting is done by unicorn mages.” Diamond muttered.

“Alright, do you know what a crossbow is, how it works Twilight?”

“Y-yes, my brother showed me the principle once.”

“Alright, well the bolts that come out of the crossbow is the crossbow’s ammunition. What I would be able to make with gunpowder is ammo for what is basically an upgrade to the crossbow, called a gun.”

“Why not make a gun instead of these, grenades then?” Twilight asked.

“Diamond asked the same thing yesterday, I may be able to make the bull- bolts, ammo for a gun, and I can make very simple grenades. I don’t have the knowledge for making a gun, obviously I’m not going to make the grenade, just pass on the information, but I don’t have the information to pass that could make a gun. I know there is a small explosion that propels the ammo, as well as a mechanism that does this, but I don’t know how to make them.”

“I see, how would you get the information?” Twilight asked.

“By going home and finding it. Or seeing if anyone in Equestria already has the technology. But considering the fact you guys hadn’t invented gunpowder until I brought it up. I doubt any of you have guns. Plus it requires a trigger, which I doubt you guys could use.” Though if a pony invented a gun they probably found a way to change the firing mechanism for pony hooves, like a lever or button.

“I see. I might have a talk with Celestia about this.”

“Can you hold off on it then, if she does get a meeting ready between us two this is going to be a topic I bring up. I don’t feel too comfortable in brining weapons to Equestria but I will be the only one to use them and it would only be a test rather than mass production or using them against the living.”

“I understand that.”

“You’re much calmer than I thought you would be about this.”

“Well if Diamond knows what you are up to then Princess Celestia probably knows as well, and since she hasn’t stopped you I suppose there is no harm in it. And as you have said, it would only be a test, I would like to see some human technology and if you can even make the most basic things it would be a good start. Our cultures may be closer than we both think.”

“Guns would not be the link between our cultures, but yes, pony culture is fairly close to what European culture was like about a thousand or so years ago.”

“So you are trying to make weapons that may not be around us for a thousand years?”

“No, I couldn’t even begin to learn the information needed to make modern weapons; that shit definitely won’t be accessible to learn. The guns I would make are about three hundred years, grenades are about nine hundred but I think we could’ve made them around the same time as we did the first guns had we had a reason.”

“That’s not so bad then.”

“Yeah, I wish I knew more inventions but I never was much for tinkering.” Twilight shrugged at that and I began to eat again.

“What is the history of guns then? Surely they were not made overnight.” Diamond asked after a fairly long pause, Spike and Twilight had been talking about something in that time.

“I honestly don’t know a lot only that it was a group called the Chinese who invented the earliest guns, even had something preceding guns that used gunpowder, the fire lance or something. I presume I was basically a single shot gun or even a firework launcher or something but I don’t really know myself. They were hundreds of years ahead in warfare tech than the rest of world it was unreal. The rest of the world were still using bows and arrows and stone tools to kill each other whilst the Chinese were using guns and canons. Eventually a really intelligent invented reinvented guns for Europe and the rest of the world and they became much more of a thing, they could only fire one shot at a time for a very long time, much like crossbows. Until a huge war where they were used on mass. Machine guns were invented towards the end of that war, guns that fired very rapidly and didn’t need as much reloading. Then the Second War started and guns leaped forward again, and now modern weapons rarely fire once, most have a clip, or magazine of ammunition to fire, as small as a seven clip mag to hundreds. Some video games would have fantasy guns that would fire super-heated light or other science-fiction ideas that I couldn’t explain to you.”

“I see, the more you talk about your world the more I want to visit.”

“Diamond, you really don’t want to go there, I don’t miss it that much for a reason. Though I do wanna see your reaction to video games.”

“Yes I would very much like to play one someday. You need that talk with Princess Celestia.”

“Hey I’m not the only one who can appeal.”

“That is very true.” He paused and looked around the table, I had just finished my food, Twilight was cleaning up and Spike was staring at the ceiling. “It also appears we are all done, so we may go and greet the day if you wish?” He asked. Spike looked down and nodded. I smiled.

“Twilight you want some help?” I called, Spike looked at me fearfully and shook his head quickly.

“Yes I suppose this would go quicker with some help, Spike you there?” She called back. Spike gave a very defeated look and called back, before getting up to help. I think he spat in my next meal but I couldn’t be sure.

Once we had cleaned up and ready we all left, Diamond was lacking a spear and most of his armour, I left the sword at home and had a top on, and it was far too hot to wear a jumper so just went without. Twilight was naked, as was Spike.

“What is the ‘Fie-zone’?” Twilight asked as we left. I looked down at my top.

“Fee-zone. It’s a name of two people I used to like back home.”

“Go on?”

“Alright, people used to record themselves doing random crap and these two played computer games. One was in a big group who all played games and recorded a lot, and the other is the first’s girlfriend.”

“You have a top of a lesbian couple who play games together?”

“Yes.” I nodded and smiled.

“You thought that was appropriate to wear?” It took me less than a second to get where she was going.

“Oh god! Twi not like that, they would play games on a piece of human technology, like video games. I can’t explain it since y’all are so behind in technology, Diamond you’re up!” I shouted, more out of fear and confusion than anything else.

“What is it?” He asked, usual monotone overlapping the anger.

“Explain to Twilight what video games are. I did yesterday to you and can’t be asked to repeat myself.”

“I am honoured you would give me the opportunity to do this since you ‘can’t be asked’.” He replied.

“Huh, first time I’ve heard you shorten a word. Maybe I am a bad influence on you.”

“I was quoting you Aron, it does not count.” He replied, then began to tell Twilight what I had said yesterday. Then suddenly, Rainbow Dash. Like, she wasn’t there then the next second I knew we was flying next to me.

“Oh hey Aron, didn’t see you there.” She said, rolling onto her back and facing me, still in the air mind you. I was impressed honestly. I half expected Spike to come talk to me but don’t know why he would want to talk to me.

“Sup Dash.” I replied half-heartedly. “I’m the only human here that I know of, surprised you didn’t spot me from a mile away. Though I didn’t see you until you appeared beside me.”

“Yeah that seems to happen here, more so with Pinkie Pie than anypony else, but it seems to happen.”

“How does it feel, to just materialise?”

“Oh no, ponies don’t just appear, we tend to be doing something else and just end up with others.”

“Alright fine, I accept the cartoon physics there, y’all are colourful talking ponies so I’m game for anything. What were you doing beforehand?” She looked at me like an idiot for a rather long time.

“Looking for you of course!” She declared.

“You teleported to me, or felt a calling to me, whatever you’d call it, whilst looking for me anyway?” She just nodded. “Alright whatever, I don’t care anyway, I surprised you’re even up. Whatcha want?”

“I always get up early for days like this!”

“Days where you go out looking for me, how often do you do that?”

“Don’t be stupid Aron, days where me and Pinks go out and prank ponies, I wanted to see if you wanted to join in.” This time I gave her the idiot face.

“Dashie-” For whatever reason she flinched at that. “-I’ve been wondering around Ponyville with a Canterlotian, Canterlonian, Canter- whatever, I’ve been travelling with a royal guard since I got here and you thought I’d want to go pranking people?” She nodded. I thought about it for a second. “Honestly I would fucking love to do that, might be a great chance to get to know ponies other than Diamond and Twilight better. Though I am already owed a meeting with Celestia, I owe a meeting to both Vinyl and Glaze. Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if those all put me off socialising for a while, can only do so much before I get a relapse.”

“You know Glaze, and Vinyl Scratch?” Rainbow asked, much calmer than I expected, mentioned both musicians only to get a reaction out of her, I expected nothing and was still disappointed.

“Yeah met Vinyl and Octavia my first day here, they seemed alright, and met Glaze yesterday, she seems awesome. I’m surprised that’s all you got from my little rant.”

“Meh something about you being shy. You wanna go pranking then?” She asked, wide smile and wider eyes. It was both adorable and terrifying.

“Again, I’d fucking love to, but I got some shit to do today. Well gotta hit the blacksmiths and then I’m free as far as I know, I’d hate to leave Diamond alone but fuck him. If I catch you guys later I’ll join. How far do these pranks normally go?”

“Alright Aron, why you got any ideas?”

“Oh Christ no, I don’t know the first thing about pranking, it would be cool to learn from the master, or masters if Pinkie is good at them as well.” For some reason Rainbow blushed at that.

“Well I am pretty good at them.” She smiled slightly and turned around. “Anyway Aron, I’ll catch you later hopefully.” With that she flew off, I kinda wanted to talk about Pegasi shit with her but figured she wouldn’t be up for a history lesson and I wouldn’t gain any favour with her talking about shit like that. Diamond it is then.

“Yo Diamond!” I called, running to catch up, Spike and Twilight were talking so I figured Diamond was done with video game masturbation, if not tough shit.

“What is it Aron?” He asked, monotone thick with monotone.

“Wow, you’re best friend and you talk to me like I’m interrupting something.”

“When you put it that way… What is it Aron?” Same monotone, I could’ve slapped a bitch.

“You’re a Pegasus.” I began.

“Well spotted.” He stretched out his wings to prove that he was, indeed, a flying pony.

“Fuck off, anyway. What you got for Pegasus history?”

“You have known me just under a week and it took you this long to ask about specific races?”

“Fuck off.”

“Charming.” To begin with I honestly thought he would ‘fuck off’. Instead he cleared his throat. “The Pegasi have always been the more aggressive race of the four pony kinds, and in the early days were the leading military force, and even after the founding of Equestria they made up the bulk of Equestrian forces. One would think it would have been the unicorns but they began very uptight and would focus on magic and research rather than combat, thus the Pegasi, with their speed and air superiority became the leading force. Most of the Pegasi cities are made out of a specially made cloud that is as strong as concrete or bricks, but with the look of clouds and still contains its floating properties, the largest being Las Pegasus but the capital of the Pegasi would be Cloudsdale.” I glared at him at the names. “I know, I hate myself sometimes.”

“What would be the capital for Earth ponies then?”

“Manehatten, Canterlot would be for unicorns, as well as the capital altogether.”

“Alright, I keep hearing about this Manehatten place, I’ll have to go one day.”

“There’s a huge unicorn research facility there. I used to know of a pony named Dawn Star there.” Twilight said from up ahead, fuck the blacksmiths was a trek away. Oh wait we’re here.

“Hold that thought.” I muttered to Diamond as we entered the blacksmiths, this place was much better looking than Toyar’s, I could even see the anvil and blacksmith area from outside so there wasn’t smoke fucking everywhere. Sure Toyar had a chimney but this place was ninety percent outside. Kinda weird we had to go inside to talk to someone though. There was already a pony at a table looking at us with a huge grin. She was bright pink with bright yellow hair, not a great combo. She had an anvil as her butt tattoo. I never did see what Toyar’s was. Probably a tree log or a kilt.

“Hi, I’m Smith welcome to Smith’s Blacksmithing!” The abomination of colour exclaimed.

“Sup.” I replied, her smile didn’t even falter.

“Hi Smith, We were wondering if you could help us with something.” Twilight said in her usual chipper self.

“I can help in whatever you need Twilight.” Now to my mind that sounded creepy, but I’d be single for a while so my mind was just porn and innuendos at this point.

“Yes, you see Aron needs a new scabbard.-“ Was as far as she got before I pulled out the sword as dramatically as possible to show it off, which in hindsight without a scabbard and me just holding it awkwardly didn’t do much. I basically lifted my hand up. “-For this, and we were wondering if you could make one.” Smith waved her hoof about in what looked like a ‘come here’ gesture, I just handed her the sword, well put it on the table. She looked over it and after a short pause nodded.

“I will need to keep the sword here until it is complete. What materials were you looking for me to use?” Smith asked, her voice calmer, she looked up at me for that. I very nearly outright said leather but thought on it for a second.

“Either steel or brass. Depending which is lighter. Or wood if that is even lighter than those two.” Smith looked me up and down for a second.

“Steel will be lighter, you don’t look like you could handle anything above. I’ll have to pad it with some foam and cloth. Don’t pull the sword out as quickly as you tried or you will scratch it or cut the cloth.” I nodded. “I take it you know how to use a sword right?”

“Absolutely.” I said, at the same time both Twilight and Diamond said. “No.” Smith just smiled.

“I suggest getting a trainer, I won’t make the scabbard overly decorative for your first sword.”

“First?” I asked. “Don’t most people just have one?” I wasn’t sure if that was actually a thing or not. Sure Skyrim and other games I was using about nine weapons at a time for different reasons, but most stories and shit I knew of people would only use one weapon, and keep one weapon. Though most stories the hero didn’t need to maintain their weapon or armour.

“Most sword wielders go through a couple swords before they become a master, obviously when, if you get a trainer you’ll be using practice swords an awful lot as well.”

“That is true enough.” Twilight then stepped forward.

“How much would this cost?” She asked. Smith lost her smile, looked me up and down again and smiled again.

“We can discuss that when I am finished, come back to me in say, three days and it should be finished.”

“Alright, thank you Smith.”

“No problem Twilight, we must catch up soon!” And with that we left.

“Alright Diamond back to history one-oh-one.” He coughed again and began. Twilight looked pretty interested, Spike was dead or something.

“Anyway, to begin with Pegasi had a very dark history, when ponykind was more divided Pegasi had two agendas; military prowess and weather manufacturing. There were, rumours, as to how the weather was maintained but no real proof was ever found except for a group of Pegasi, considered insane at the time and part of a terrorist organisation they were cast out and never heard from again. For a while the image of the brave, noble Pegasi race was tainted, but they slowly got their reputation back as invaders decided ponykind would be an easy target as they set up their new home in Equestria.”

“Why ‘new home?’ Where did you live before that?”

“Much further north, beyond the Griffons and Northern Wastelands. All ponykind got forced out of their northern homes when,-” He paused and looked at Twilight. “-Windegos attacked and turned the landscape into a harsh frozen wasteland. A few groups stayed behind, one forming the Crystal Empire and another forming a naturistic home just beyond the Wasteland called Fairlee, they eventually became their own race of ponies; the Sirens. Using the abandoned Heart of Equestria they gained far more magical ability than any pony now.”

“Alright, loads of history questions to ask but they can wait. I guess Celestia can tell me more.”

“Indeed she can, her and Luna taking power about a hundred years after ponykind found its way to Equestria.”

“I remember reading about the Sirens, weren’t they wiped out very recently?” Twilight asked, far more casually then I would be talking about genocide.

“It is unknown what happened to the Sirens. The Crystal Empire vanished after King Sombra’s defeat, but the Sirens stayed very isolated, one rumour suggests that the Sirens presumed the rest of Ponykind had perished fleeing south so just thrived alone. None have been spotted in a very long time, though unless they did any magic a pony wouldn’t know.”

“How come? Or is it just a feeling you guys get?”

“They, glow, is the best way to describe it. Or at least that’s how the old texts describe them. When a Siren does magic purple and blue symbols appear on their hooves and bodies, usually on their dominant side.”

“Neat, so are all Sirens unicorns?”

“Again it’s unknown. The leading idea is that any Siren race can use magic, unicorns get a boasted magical talent, Pegasi and Earth Ponies get a ‘ghost horn’ appear whenever they use magic, but are slightly weaker than the average unicorn at casting magic.”

“Cool. Wonder if humans could cast magic if I found a Siren?”

“Maybe, there is little known about them besides notes that explorers wrote. None have really talked to a normal pony and as I said, none have been seen in years. They may well be existence for all anypony knows.”

“Damn that sucks. But fuck could you imagine me with magic?”

“I guess you would just make shitty jokes or puns about magic and write swears in the sky.”

“I could do that?”

“Yes, Pegasi have the ability to change the cloud layer and form clouds how we wish, it is how we make cities out of cloud. I am sure unicorns could alter the cloud format if they so wish.”

“That sounds awesome, though I highly doubt I’m ever going to meet a Siren if they are so rare, let alone become one or whatever. Plus magic is OP.”

“Oh-Pee?” He asked carefully.

“Overpowered.”

“I see, that sort of works with magic.”

“Nice. I should teach you more gaming phrases but I suppose you’d count that as slang and never use them.”

“Most likely. I will not apologise for having proper grammar.”

“Yeah well, fuck you.”

“You cannot hold arguments very well can you Aron?”

“Nope, I blame Spike.” Said dragon turned around at that but said nothing. Then I noticed I was still aimlessly wondering with Twilight, and she was heading for Rarity’s. Which brought two things back.

“Yo Twi.” I called, she turned around really quickly. “A’right, two things; first. How come I can read sign posts but I can’t read horse books?” She scrunched her face at that.

“I honestly couldn’t tell you Aron, we still haven’t done any tests. Though knowing sign posts could be helpful data for later.”

“Alright, I don’t care that much, if I can’t read horse I can’t read horse.”

“Why do you do things like that? Saying horse rather than Equestrian, and ‘horseland’ or ‘Ponyland’ instead of Equestria, or even Equus. You like slang, Equus is easier to say than horseland.” Diamond asked

“Because I’m an asshole and know it’ll eventually piss someone off. Plus I’m not from this fucking planet so excuse me if I get the wording wrong.” There was a pause.

“… Alright I’ll give you that.” He replied, I think I ended up sounding far angrier than I meant to sound.

“Anyway, second thing. Where you going now? Cause I think El Dasho would be pissed if I didn’t show up for her pranking.”

“…” I definitely heard the silence there. “Di- did you just call Rainbow Dash. El Dasho?” Twilight asked, Spike obviously didn’t hear first time round because he burst into laughter at that. I just shrugged.

“Same. Wanna answer the question?” She neighed and huffed a little before answering.

“I was just going to Rarity’s, I got so caught up in your banter with Diamond I forgot you had any other plans.”

“Wow thanks Twilight, I guess you’re dismissed then Diamond. Do whatevs.”

“Alright Aron, guess I’ll see you tonight.”

“Hey we need to make friends other than each other, plus I’m an alien here, it looks weird travelling with a guard constantly, even if he isn’t visibly armed.”

“You keep saying you are no warrior but you seem to know military tactics and ideas a lot. How come?”

“My dad worked with the military, and as I said yesterday, so did I for a while, I pick shit up.” I shrugged and began to walk off before he could ask anything else, that was a fucked up time in my life and I don’t like thinking on it.

Finding Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash was much harder than I expected, a couple ponies who did talk to me when I asked for the pair seemed to point me in a direction but I found no hide nor tail of them. Which thinking back is a phrase I need to not say in Equestria. It took about ten minutes of inquisition before I found them, or more so found a rainbow streak with a Pink mud pony following at a gentle sprint. I swore a couple times figuring I would have to run to catch up to the pair.
Little disclaimer, when I did finally start running not only did I look like a complete twat but I also ran out of breath almost instantly, only keeping the pace up because I needed the exercise and it looked good to be out alone rather than with Twilight or Diamond. Otherwise I would’ve fucked off back to Diamond and tortured him more.

I discovered how badly I fucked up a couple minutes later when I finally caught up with the pair, both looking at me with huge grins on their faces. I should have counted that as a red flag when I panted closer to them.

“Jesus. Fucking.” Coughing fit. “Why.” Was all I got out, not due to lack of breath, but due to the lack of floor under me, I didn’t even register I was falling until I had already hit the bottom of a really weirdly perfect, square hole that had been covered with twigs and grass. There was no rubble and thankfully hay where I landed so didn’t get too badly hurt. As soon as I hit the ground I heard a very tomboyish and girly laugh come from above and saw Rainbow staring down.

“Have a nice trip?” She called down, the hole was a couple meters deep, just deep enough for it to be an issue if I were to try and get out.

“Hey I’m on your team!” I called back, smiling slightly, it sucked I was down here yes, but it was pretty funny and nothing of value was lost.

“We prank each other too Aron.” Rainbow called down.

“Alright fine, just help me out.”

“I dunno…” Oh you bitch.

“Plz?” I said, memes to the rescue.

“What do I get if I help you out?” Wut.

“What do you want Dash?” I asked, regretting that instantly.

“Get Glaze to meet me.” I paused at that.

“Da- Dash I can’t just get Glaze to meet you, I barely fucking know her. Probably not gonna see her again.” I’m surprised people were still on this, was she really that known? And yet Diamond seemed unfazed, though he isn’t a real boy anyway.

“Well, go to a concert and meet her then, then get to know her so you can just get her to meet me.”

“Fine whatever, help me out now?” She smiled and nodded.

“Pinkie get the ladder.” She said to the pink menace behind her.

“I dunno Dashie, he gave you something what about little ol’ mamma Pinkie?” Oh shit.

“The fuck could you want?”

“What else Aron? I wanna party!”

“You could do that without my blessing.”

“Oh I know silly billy, but I want to give you a party, for being a part of Ponyville.” Now that I could do.

“Will there be alcohol?” A pause.

“What’s, alcohol?” Oh shit son, maybe not.

“Go to the Ponyville bar and ask for some, get me a list of what they have and I’ll tick of the best ones.” I.e. the ones I personally liked, and maybe whatever Diamond’s poison was, which I still didn’t know, though I don’t remember anything from my first night so that’s not surprising.

“Okie Doki Aronie!” Pinkie called. I heard a small zoom sound and Dash face-hooved and flew down the hole with me.

“Okay, first of, is it wise to have Pinkie around alcohol?” Rainbow asked. I gave a very shocked face.

“Damn Dash, didn’t know you drink?” I asked.

“Cider mainly, Applejack makes some bucking great stuff every year after harvest. Though some other stuff I like.” She shrugged and landed next to me, figuring either Pinkie had abandoned me or gone to go get some ladder of sorts I sat down next to Dash.

“That’s fucking awesome girl. Cider is great. Though you haven’t lived until you do the tequila challenge.”

“The what?”

“Do you guys have tequila?” A nod. “Alright, you get a slice of lemon, and a pinch of salt, then you drink three shots of tequila, eat the lemon and lick the salt. There are more hardcore versions of that but that’s how I do it.”

“Ponies can’t eat salt, we can’t digest it.”

“Damn, alright, just the lemon then I guess.”

“I’d love to see you drunk Aron. You might actually be pretty lively.” Dash laughed at that and I smiled.

“First night I came here me and Diamond went to the guard bar, I have no idea what the fuck happened that night and I’m pretty sure I gave Diamond a black eye.” Dash looked at me with pure shock.

“Seriously?” She asked.

“Yeah, apparently the bar wanted us to pay for damages.” She started laughing again, it was adorable.

“So does that mean when you were in Ponyville you went through the day with a hangover?”

“Killer one yeah.” Dash very quickly gave me a hug, it was unexpected, but she was soft so I just returned it. It stopped much sooner than I would have liked.
What I’m a slut for hugs. “I’m sorry I tackled you then dude.” She said, blushing.

“Meh it was basically gone by then anyway. You should be sorry whatever, fucking Diamond nearly killed you.”

“Yeah.” She said, clearly unsure, and unhappy about that memory. “What’s with Diamond anyway?”

“What do you mean? He is so jaded because that’s part of his training, he is a solider and that’s how they work. It seems like Royal Guards are pretty elite here so if he is told to defend someone he will fucking do it. It happened to me be he was guarding and you happened to be a threat. Twice if I recall.”

“I meant why do you like hanging out with him so much?”

“Oh right, one reason is because I honestly haven’t had a chance to hang with anyone but him and Twilight since I got here, and another is that he was my first friend in Equestria, and I wanna hang with him because of that. Blame my anxiety or whatever but I end up getting stupidly trusting and close to people who come to me for friendship. And we have a lot of similarities.” There was a long pause before Dash put her head on my shoulder, I got a face full of rainbow hair but I didn’t complain.

“Well I dunno about the others but I’m your friend Aron.” She said after a moment.

“Thanks RD.”

“Don’t tell anypony I’m so soppy though.”

“Dash have you met me? That wasn’t close to soppy.” She laughed slightly at that.

We were down that hole for nearly three hours before someone came looking for us, we didn’t even notice. Just talked about this and that until a lavender pony appeared at the top of the hole. As well as a very bored looking white Pegasus.

“There you two are!” Twilight called down, we were talking about video games at that point and scared us both shitless when another voice echoed out. I looked up and waved, Dash was further away from me before I even saw her move.

“Sup?” Both me and Rainbow said.

“Don’t ‘Sup’ me you two! Ponies have been looking everywhere for you. Pinkie came back into town saying Aron was stuck down a hole and ran off to ‘go do something for you’!” Twilight shouted.

“Hey I’ve been waiting for her to come back with a fucking ladder so I can get out of here!” I called back.

“Why is Rainbow Dash with you then?” She asked back. I heard an ‘erm’ from Dash.

“Keeping me company? The fuck does it look like?” I asked.

“It looks like a lot of things Aron.” Twilight said.

“Fuck off. Now help me out of here, my leg is going cramped. How long we been down here?” Rainbow decided to just abandon me and fly up, Twilight’s horn started glowing and I suddenly found I was on my ass above ground, I very quickly got up and cleaned the dirt off me, more than a few rainbow hairs coming away as well.

“I don’t know, you left to find Dash and Pinkie about three hours ago.” Damn.

“Only took me ten minutes or so to find them. Then I was down there.”

“How. How did you end up down there?” Twilight asked.

“I done got pranked.” Was my reply, Twilight just nodded.

“Hey Aron I’ll see you-” Rainbow began.

“I’m not done with you yet Dash.” Twilight said with a rather scary tone, not even looking at her. “You and Diamond can go back to the library if you wish. Pinkie was waiting there last I saw with a piece of parchment.” I nodded, said bye to Dash and left, Diamond soon followed.

“So what actually happened down there for three hours?” Diamond asked pretty quickly.

“Honestly dude nothing, I found out Dash is fucking awesome and we were just talking. I didn’t even notice how long we were down there. How long y’all been looking for me?”

“About ten minutes, Pinkie told us fairly quickly but said not to worry about it for a while.”

“I take it you of all ponies was the first to come save me?”

“Sure.”

“Also you up for a party tonight?” There was a pause.

“Alcohol?”

“Yep.” Another pause.

“Fuck yes.” Getting back to the library was of little event, we just had some more small talk and I didn’t want another history lesson so quickly so just stuck to girls and shit like that. Well, I brought up the salt thing and we started trading food items. Some stuff Equestria had would’ve been great on Earth but they never came to be.

Inside the library sure enough Pinkie was running around chasing Spike and I saw a rather long list of alcoholic drinks on the dining table. I picked it up and read through, basic stuff. Tequila was there, as well as cider, wheat beer, something called Kvass, rum, vodka, cherry vodka, a couple wines and some other stuff. I went and found a quill and put a tick next to half a dozen.

“Diamond do the same for alcohol you like.” He nodded, grabbed the quill and ticked three or four more. I didn’t see what he ticked. I grabbed the paper and was ready to hand it to Pinkie but she grabbed it and it disappeared. Somewhere.

“Now, this might be costly-” I began.

“Silly Aron, any price is nothing compared to a party!”

“Yeah that may be the case but alcohol can get expensive and if more than a few ponies are coming you’ll need a lot of it. Maybe tell whoever you are inviting to bring some of their own, or be willing to pay for it. I feel bad eno-”

“I understand Aron, don’t you worry you’re pretty little head. Now I gotta go prepare, I’ll see you later with the invites!” She began to run off.

“Invite Dash for fucks sake!” I called. If the rest of the party was full of random redshirts or Twilight’s friends I wanted at least Dash and Diamond to go so I could get shit pissed with friends. Which reminded me of something.

“Spike how old are you?” I asked, the named dragon had been watching that conversation with a strange level of interest.

“Pony years or dragon years?” He asked. I shrugged. “Dragons age very differently to ponies, and from what I’ve read most races, when we are young we tend to stay young for a long time and as we age our age becomes much more balanced with ponies. Only, we live longer.”

“Alright, do you think you’re old enough to drink alcohol? Or what’s the age law here?” I asked, Spike shrugged.

“Probably not the best for him to be drinking Aron.” Diamond said.

“Yeah you’re right, give him a few years. Don’t worry Spike.”

“Aww but I wanna drink alcohol with you and Diamond!” He cried, yep far too young.

“Give it a couple years alright Spike, wait say-” I looked at Diamond, who looked Spike up and down.

“Three years.”

“-Three years and I’ll go drinking with you alright?” I asked, Spike looked pissed for a second before just nodded, neither looking angry or happy. He wondered off to go hang himself or something and I looked back at Diamond.

“Well I fucked that up.”

“Yes but he could become a good friend, when he matures.” I smiled and nodded.

“Obviously they are common here but back home I could become a god if I went back riding Spike wielding some enchanted godslaying sword.” Diamond smiled slightly.

“Even here if an alien like you managed to convince a dragon to ride them you would be pretty well respected. They rarely allow anything to ride them expect their young if the dragons are on a migration. To allow you a ride would be a pretty big honour.”

“Nice. You know anyone that’s ridden one?”

“There are rumours Celestia once rode a dragon into battle. Luna was supposedly friends with one long ago but never rode it.”

“So no.”

“Again, dragon riders are rare, I am sorry for not knowing someone who comes around once in a lifetime.”

“Hey now, you know me. No human has set foot here yet, that’s gotta give you some street cred.”

“Sure.” And that concluded that conversation. Twilight came back a few minutes later and seemed pretty happy about something.

“So I hear you promised Pinkie a party?” She asked me, Diamond fucked off at that and I looked Twilight up and down.

“She had me trapped in a hole, I had to promise I’d get Glaze to meet Dash as well.” I shrugged.

“Cute. This will be a great way for you to socialise. Hope you make yourself seen a lot.” Twilight muttered.

“My plan was to get shit pissed with Diamond and Rainbow. Vinyl if she is free. Though I figured she’d want to socialise or DJ if she did show up.”

“Come on Aron, I know you’re shy but you can’t keep hidden in a small group of friends, friendship can solve any issue.”

“Yes I am shy, incredibly normally. Ponyland has done wonders for me, I’m a much better person than I was on Earth but please don’t try and force this Twilight. The best way I know how to have fun is talking to friends and drinking an unhealthy amount of alcohol.” She paused at that, honestly I expected better from her but I saw where she was going, and she was right.

“That’s not a good thing Aron, you should talk to friends without being intoxicated.”

“Hey, I do that plenty. I’m talking to you now without touching any liquor and today I spent all day with Dash trapped in a fucking hole. I know when to be drunk and when not to be, and parties are a time to be drunk. I’m surprised Pinkie was so up for throwing one with alcohol, I had the idea she threw childish ones.”

“She does, normally. She seems to have taken a liking to you, a lot of ponies have.”

“I may not have had many friends but it was honestly like that on Earth, people trusted me. I have no idea why they did but I was always reliable I guess.”

“You just have an aurora around you.”

“Yeah a couple people have said before. What are you plans for this party? And when, and better yet, where is it?”

“Most likely socialise, though I am not as good as I’m sure you believe me to be. Spike will be going and he will not be drinking. As for the party itself, apparently starts at eight, Pinkie managed to book the town hall, sorting out the decorations with Rarity now.”

“Already had that conversation with him, I didn’t realise how young he was, Diamond said he still have three, four years before he should be allowed to drink, he seemed pretty upset about it, and it was my fault for bringing it up. But again I didn’t realise.” Twilight gave me a terrifying glare for a second but eventually just nodded.

“I don’t really want him drinking at all, horrid stuff. But I suppose everypony grows up eventually.”

“Exactly, if I can help it I won’t corrupt him, he’s too happy to be a dragon version of me. Or even Diamond.” Twilight nodded. Smiling slightly. “Also, when you say Town Hall, you don’t mean the same one that got blown up when Nightmare Moon attacked was it?” Twilight paused but quickly nodded. I face palmed. “Alright, I’ll give you that you ponies are quick builders, but fucking hell that was quick.” She just shrugged.

“Ponies band together much more than other races, I’m surprised you didn’t see, about half the town have been helping in rebuilding it since that night.”

“I was hella tired after that fight and I was in Canterlot yesterday and stuck in a hole all day today.” Twilight shrugged again.

“Oh well. Some griffon showed up today, asking for Rainbow but since Nopony knew where you two were she went back home. Hopefully Rainbow Dash isn’t too upset about it.”

“Oh shit you guys have griffons here?” I asked, to be honest Diamond had mentioned them before to me but it still shocked me. Twilight nodded. “And Dash knows one?” Or knows of one, or at least a griffon knows of Dash. Another nod. “Kickass.”

With Twilight apparently having nothing to do, Spike killing lady bugs or something and Diamond being his anti-social self we just spent the rest of the day in the library. Me and Twilight having a conversation and doing a couple tests on horse words. Turns out I can’t read book written words. Which we knew already. Diamond and I talked for a while and even Spike came down, we had a foursome with words. It was sexy.

Finally the time for the party arrived and I put on a top which I only brought in a very slim chance of ever needing it, the top itself was shit, just pure black. Except for a piece of Velcro with had some plastic panel on it that lights up in the beat of music. I hadn’t worn it in a while and wasn’t sure if it was solar or battery powered so wasn’t even sure if the thing worked. Twilight and Diamond both asked about it and how it worked but I honestly had no idea, plus I couldn’t be bothered with explaining electricity to them. Twilight wore some shitty white dress and Diamond wore some of his armour but left a lot of the leg armour off as well as his helmet and some cloth accessories. Spike was there too.

Author's Notes:

rip spike, he was there