I wouldn’t have been surprised if someone somewhere wrote down the party as a historical event, the greatest party in Equestria. It seemed the entire town had been invited and most of them seemed to have shown up. When the four of us left the library to head to the party I very quickly noticed a stage set up outside of the town hall with all sorts of instruments set out. I noticed Vinyl was on stage, as well as Octavia who was currently testing the microphone. Ponies seemed to be everywhere around that stage, chatting and wondering idly to the many stalls that had been set up, many with food and other treats on show. Tables were everywhere as well as some archways covered in balloons and streamers. A huge banner was over the town hall entrance (Which I will say looked exactly as it did when I arrived) which said “ARON’S WELCOME TO PONYVILLE PARTY” I smiled at that, Pinkie had gone all out, how the fuck she had managed this I will never know, but I guessed this was why she never came to save us from the hole. The sun was beginning to set but it still wasn’t quite dark yet, and it was stupidly warm as well. I was kinda worrying about having to bring a jumped and not show off my epic top but I doubt I’d have to worry about that much. The town hall’s doors were open with a small sign saying ‘Toilets’ and another saying ‘Bar’ my original plan was just to sit around drinking but I honestly wanted to get involved just by looking at this setup. I was honestly speechless as I took it all in and even Diamond was wide eyed.

“I think I just came confetti.” I managed after a very long pause of standing still taking in the environment. I saw a pink blur and saw the pink pony herself.

“Soooooo. Whatcha think?” She asked, huge grin just plastered on her face.

“I think I love you.” I muttered, she giggled a bit and ran off before I could say more, Twilight was pretty speechless herself.

“So much for this being half a dozen ponies in the library.” Diamond muttered. Still holding the grin. Almost put emotion in his muttering. Almost.

“Dude this is fucking kickass, just wait til this shit takes off. Ponies drunk, dancing and doing all sorts of shit. This is gonna go down in history bro.” I said, spreading my arms out and looking at him. He nodded with a grin.

“Well then, I do not know about you Aron but I am going to get a drink.” He said, I nodded then thought of something.

“Hey Twilight?” I asked, she closed her jaw and looked at me, nodding. “Do you know any spells that negate the effects of memory lose?” I asked. She looked confused for a second. “Like, I don’t want to forget a second of this but I will be drinking heavily. Is there a way to stop me forgetting?” She looked in thought for a second.

“Yes, it’s a fairly easy spell. You will feel a lot more tired tomorrow but I doubt many will want to go out tomorrow at all after this.” Twilight said, her horn glowing, she touched her horn to my forehead and I felt something, change, inside me. Like a lot of older memories flooded back to me. “It will feel odd to have a larger memory bank and you may remember more details in everyday life but nothing else really happens besides remembering everything whatever you do.” I nodded at that, Diamond asked for the same and she cast it on him. Then her horn started to glow once more and her entire body got surrounded by a purple aurora. Eventually it just stopped.

“There, now I can’t cast any magic for eight hours. I suggest tying your wings to your body Diamond.”

“I can handle myself drunk, do not worry about me Twilight.” He said.

“I guess I’ll see you around tonight, unless you’re coming with us?” I asked, Twilight shook her head. I shrugged. “Alright, see ya around Lavender.” She nodded and off we went, into the heart of darkness.

Rainbow Dash was the first to greet us when we entered the town hall, it was no surprise as the doors were already open but she still lit up very visibly when we walked in.

“This is-” She began.

“Fucking awesome?” I asked, she nodded very quickly. “How in the fuck did she manage to get this all ready?”

“Anything is possible during a Pinkie party!” Pinkie Pie said from behind me, she was gone before I even turned around.

“When do you think this is going to pick up more?” Dash asked, and if on que music started playing from outside, I didn’t recognise the song but it was a pretty cool sounding one.

“Well even with music it won’t really pick up until more people start drinking, so let’s show ‘em how it’s done eh?” I asked, Dash smiled. Diamond nodded.

“Wanna have a shots fight?” Dash asked. My eyes lit up.

“Lemme get a bit drunk, I have to drink so sweeter shit first before going straight into shots. But we will be doing that tequila thing. I’ll let you know when I’m ready, we can set up a table outside right in front of the DJ platform.”

“Tequila thing?” Diamond asked.

“Yeah, you take three shots in a row and then bit into a lemon slice. On Earth you also lick salt but you guys can’t eat that apparently.”

“No, well don’t drink too much too soon Aron, you don’t want to forget everything again.” Dash said laughing slightly.

“Shouldn’t be an issue, Twilight cast a spell on me and Diamond so we shouldn’t forget anything.”

“Nice, I should get me one of those, where is she at?”

“Don’t bother, she cast a nullifying spell on herself, can’t use magic for eight hours or so.” I said, the song finally ended and something else started playing, some stallion started singing and I swear it was a song I knew.

“Shame, make sure to tell me all about it tomorrow. Or the next day I suppose.”

“Probably next, apparently we are gonna be out of it tomorrow, since magic is helping our body fight memory loss so much. Plus hangover.”

“Nice. Well Whatcha, bars are on tap so it’s free. I heard talk that there will be a fundraiser soon to help Pinkie and everypony else pay this off. But most are just happy to be at a Pinkie party.”

“And here I thought they were here to see me.” I said, Dash stuck her tongue out and laughed. We then walked to the nearest bar. It was being run by a brown unicorn with black hair and a moustache. Good start, if a little clichéd. He had a white apron on and was cleaning a beer glass, which was doubly odd because we were the first to hit his particular bar up, there were a couple ponies in here already, some drinking, some just sitting at tables inside. Outside seemed to be getting louder now as the party started.

“Ah you must be Aron, the guest-of-honour. What can I get you?” I looked at the wooden sign he had floating behind him.

“Mixed berries cider.” I replied, he nodded and reached down below the stall, I say stall they were basically just mini bars set up randomly around the room. Why there wasn’t just one I don’t know. He pulled out a rather large bottle and popped the cap and gave me a glass that was maybe the same shape as my arm (well from my elbow to my wrist). I’ll be damned if he didn’t fill the glass either. This one glass was probably worth three or four back home. I was going to like it here. Dash ordered an apple version of what I had and Diamond ordered the same as me. We walked back outside with Diamond and Rainbow holding their glass with a wing and me holding mine with both hands. We found a table fairly close to the main party and sat down to drink.

“Don’t you wanna tie your wings around you or something Dash?” I asked. She put her glass down using her wing like a normal hand and sat down next to me, Diamond went on my other side.

“I usually get Applejack to do it for me, since she’s good with ropes and it’s awkward doing it myself.” She said. Then gulped down a rather large portion of her cider. I wanted to wait for a pause in the conversation, I suspected it would taste great. “But I dunno where she is at the moment so can’t ask her to tie me up.”

“Kinky.” I muttered.

“Pervert.” She said, tongue sticking out again, it was adorable. I took a big gulp of my own drink and after tasting it, very quickly downed more of it. This was the freshest anything I had ever had. The thing was perfect, no taste of alcohol, just all fruit. I ended up drinking more than Dash or Diamond had in one bit. They both looked at me with wonder. Dash more so.

“This is fucking amazing.” I muttered, drinking more. Already feeling it affect me.

“You said that your first night.” Diamond said, I just laughed.

“What’s with the sheet thing on your top Aron?” Dash asked suddenly, I looked down at it, the music was loud enough for it to be picked up so I grabbed the controller that was strapped to my jeans.

“Human technology, I brought it with me just in case a party like this happened.” I started to laugh and flicked the switch, immediately the square lit up and the six bars all went to their fullest height. I pissed about with the controls a little and eventually it matched the song. Conveniently a louder, more upbeat song started playing at that point so anyone that looked my way could see the top dance to the sick beats. Rainbow Dash had her mouth wide open and eyes wide again. Diamond looked pretty impressed as well.

“No idea how this is powered so if it suddenly switches off then it might never come back on.”

“How does it work?” Rainbow asked.

“I’ll explain later, for now though it’s-” I began. And was interrupted by the song changing tone completely to a dubstep song.

“TIME TO PARTY MOTHERBUCKERS ARE YOU PONIES READY?” I heard a very tomboy girl shout, more than Rainbow Dash, I looked up to the stage and saw Vinyl Motherfucking Scratch on a mixing board with a mic floating next to her. Obviously the crowd exploded and many were already jumping and dancing to the beat, I even had my foot stomping and Diamond was bobbing his head to the tunes.

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU, ARE YOU FUCKERS READY?” How she knew that word I would never discover but use it she did and again the crowd just exploded. I downed more of my heaven drink and cheered too. I heard Diamond shout as well. The music really picked up and my top went mental. I noticed Rainbow had finished her glass and Diamond was close. Not wanting to be left behind I downed the rest of mine, which took about two minutes of gulping and pauses to breath.

“One more of those Dashie and we can alcohol.” I said. She giggled at that.

“We already are Aron, wow you’re a lightweight.” She replied.

“Is that your normal size glass?” I asked.

“For alcohol like cider yes.”

“That’s why, this thing is probably the size of four or five normal glasses where I’m from.” She shrugged.

“Don’t give me excuses. Come on big guy, let’s go get the next round and let Aron clear his head.” Rainbow said, getting up with carrying two empty glasses, Diamond grabbed one and followed the cyan mare. In truth I wasn’t even drunk, but close. I had many triggers in place to know if I was.

“How are you liking my party so far Aron?” I heard Pinkie ask besides me. This time I looked at her before she escaped.

“Pinkie this is fucking amazing. The alcohol is great, the music is great, the people is great and Vinyl Scratch isn’t a mute. You may just well be best pony.” I replied. Pinkie’s grin got even wider and she hugged me.

“I’m glad you’re happy Aron.” Pinkie said, I hear Vinyl say something like “I’m Vinyliscious.” And stopped paying attention to Pinkie for a second, the song just spouted more random dubs so I turned back to Pinkie Pie.

“I really am.” I said, she nodded and began to walk off, but I grabbed her before she did. Then monitored her to get closer so we could talk again, she did. “You think you could set up a table either on the stage or near it so me, Rainbow and maybe Diamond can have a drinking contest? For about twenty minutes from now?” Pinkie nodded.

“Of course I can!” She said.

“I’m surprised you were so cool with alcohol.”

“If it’s what makes you happy and it’s the way you have fun I won’t force you to change.” She said, before her face went very serious and her usual puffy hair seemed to deflate like a balloon. “But it is unhealthy, and you can’t keep running forever.” She added, sounding very serious. Before I could ask on it though she ran off into the crowd. RD and Diamond came back soon after with three more glasses. I drank a bit of mine that barely scratched the volume as it was handed to me.

“Pinkie is hopefully setting up a drinking contest. Dunno where but keep an eye on the stage!” I said, the music and crowd was stupidly loud now and my top was constantly on the tip of full, whilst I waited for a reply I pissed about with the sensitivity again.

“Will do!” Was all Rainbow said, I smiled and looked at Diamond.

“You joinin’?” I asked, he just gave a very evil grin and nodded. I was about to get out drunk by a royal guard and a rainbow Pegasus.

“Hey Aron.” I heard someone say, I turned and save Octavia walking by, I smiled again and just decided to attempt to keep that expression rather than having moments of looking emotionless. I tried to spot any other person I knew but I figured by now I would never find Pinkie until she was in front of me. I thought I spotted Rarity but figured she would be very against something like this and especially wouldn’t be dancing to stuff like that, I turned in my chair and started watching the crowds. RD and Diamond both did the same, moving their chairs around me. I laughed watching them do it. Rainbow was becoming drunk as well, Diamond seemed the same. Only happier. We sat drinking and talking for twenty or so minutes until the music began to get quieter. There were a couple moans in the crowd and Vinyl stepped forward to a mic, Pinkie next to her.

“I know, I know. But this is a special party hosted by Pinkie Pie here and you are about to witness something special. Pinkie if you could?” Vinyl said, her voice was fucking awesome.

“Now some of you may know of Aron by now, our resident human.” Pinkie said, a spotlight fell on our table, it’s a good thing I was drunk or I’d be pissed at this amount of attention. “Him, Rainbow Dash and Royal Guard Diamond are going to have a drinking competition just in front of the stage.” Pinkie said, handing the mic back to Vinyl.

“I’m letting DJ Pinkious host the show for a while so you’ll still get music, but I for one want to watch this!” Vinyl shouted, the crowd started to cheer again and a song started to play.

“Every day I’m part-ee-ing!” Pinkie shouted. We three alcoholics began to make our way to a table, about a dozen ponies stood around it, the rest were still dancing. I didn’t much care about being in such a spotlight, just figured it would be fun to do it where people watched. Otherwise it would just be sad. I just turned my top off as we got closer to the speakers. Vinyl jumped down and nodded to us as we took seats, a glass was placed at each seat with a huge bottle with a really shitty tag on saying Troy’s Tequila. I poured a glass each, it was probably about two shots for me. There were sadly no lemon slices but this would do. Rainbow picked hers up with a wing, as did Diamond. We shared a look and downed it. I immediately felt the burn, much stronger than I was used to. I stuck my tongue out. Rainbow did the same, equally disgusted. Diamond just laughed and refilled our glasses. There was silence round our table. Didn’t help we were feet away from the crowd and sitting under a giant speaker. Not my best idea.

The second shot was actually much better, I took it down in one and didn’t react as badly, however neither did Rainbow and Diamond still looked fine. The third I really started feeling the burn and shouted out my trigger word, now knowing I was fucked I just passed the bottle to Rainbow Dash to pour, who gave it to Diamond, who gave it to Vinyl who happily poured for us, even taking a swig herself. The scar on my arm begun to itch after the fourth shot and the fifth I felt ready to throw up. Vinyl called for us to have a couple minutes break which I happily took, drinking so much so fast could fuck me up badly. I guess it was the same with ponies. Rainbow’s head was going round in circles and she looked totally out of it. I knew I was and my mind was just along for the ride, ready to party properly. Diamond started to spin as well, finally getting the effects of the drink. I really didn’t want Rainbow to pass out but she looked about ready too. I figured at least me and Diamond wouldn’t but the spell only helped our memory. I was scratching my arm for a while before I noticed the vision in my weak eye cut out. Half blind, itching myself and feeling beyond dizzy I was pretty fucked. About five minutes passed of us just sitting there, a couple ponies went off dancing and some more turned up to see our game. Rainbow started to sing along with whatever song was playing.

“Heyy Vinal?” I asked. My voice more slur than English.

“What’s up Aron?” She asked. Taking another gulp from the bottle.

“Do you. Do do do…” The do’s continued for a while, Rainbow burst out laughing, as did Diamond, and then I started. It took another minute to sort myself out. “Can you get Dashie on stage to sing?” I asked. Vinyl looked to Dash, then back to me.

“If you sing with her.”

“I don’t sing.” I muttered.

“Oh g-” She started.

“Alright fine fuck the lot of ya fucking bastard twats.” I interrupted. Rainbow looked terrified for a second before laughing.

“I know the perrrfect song pony boy.” She muttered, waving a hoof in what I presumed was to call Vinyl over but instead just threw one hoof into the air in what bad actors would do to over dramatise something. Fortunately Vinyl understood hoof waves and trotted over. Rainbow whispered something and Vinyl just gave her a look of pure confusion.

“I said Pony Waifu!” Rainbow shouted. Wait what. Vinyl burst out laughing and drank more tequila.

“Speaking of bitch. Heh. Gimme a shot. Gotta kick Diamond’s ass. Rainbow don’t pass out.” I shouted, much louder than I planned. Rainbow laughed.

“Alright Aron, I’ll call quits for now, though more alcohol later.” She declared back. I smiled. The new shots were already out and I gulped mine down before Diamond could, he just smiled and downed his. Another got poured, I’d lost count at this point and definitely needed some bread or food before continuing after this. I downed mine and smiled. My throat was burning and I couldn’t even taste the alcohol anymore, just liquid pain. Diamond drank his and kept his smile. Then it stopped, his smile went to confusion. And he passed out. Just smack, head straight onto the table with a loud bang, his shot glass going on the ground somewhere. With my victory I took one more swig and raised the nearly empty bottle in the air, a couple ponies cheered but most were still sober. Night was in full swing now but I still couldn’t see the moon so figured only about three quarters of an hour or so had passed. I tried standing up and immediately feel down, hitting my head on the table as I went. I barely felt it. Vinyl was holding me up instantly and used her magic to grab the bottle and finished it off.

“Someone, somepony get Diamond back to the Twilight’s.” I said. A few ponies looked confused at that. I knew the word I just couldn’t say it, my mind felt strange, like it was doing too many things at once, I presumed this would be the point where I would have blacked out and forgotten everything. I wasn’t sure if Diamond would forget since he passed out.

“Lie-bare-ary?” Rainbow asked, I nodded. A couple ponies dragged Diamond away from the table and took him back.

“He’ll be fine.” I hoped. Rainbow then walked forward and also feel on her ass. I was worse but I had also drank more. Vinyl then very slowly walked me to the stage.

“You sure you’re up for this?” She asked, her voice also slurring.

“Nope, you’re drunk.” I replied, she took me up the stairs and too a pair of microphones and a screen. The thing looked like it was made of wood. Vinyl’s horn started to glow and she shot a beam at the wood, but missed and hit the ground, some strange PowerPoint presentation of song lyrics appeared on the grass near some ponies.

“Heh opps. Techno!” Vinyl shouted, when nobody came she just shot the wood again, this time hitting and the words “PONY WAIFU LYRICS” appeared on it like an actual screen. Dash then stood next to me wobbling.

I won’t go into the actual song but damn it was soppy, sounded like a love song or some shit. After our song we basically feel off the stage, went to get new drinks and began to dance with random ponies. An hour and a bit passed with the two of us jumping up and down like idiots. At one point I lost Dash and ended up grinding with some random grey pony. More and more were getting drunk and my body was fighting me more and more as everything in my biology said I should have passed out or blacked out by now. The party had gone on for ages, some random DJ was now leading the songs as Vinyl had passed out on stage at her mixing desk through one song, she had grabbed a whiskey bottle when she went back on and was drinking it between songs. It was fucking hilarious. With more known ponies doing it, and the story of our contest going around more and more ponies were getting drunk, paper cups started appearing everywhere and I ended up stealing as many umbrellas and parrots from people’s drinks as I could and ended up covered in them. My top broke sometime in the night but I didn’t notice until I saw the music bars weren’t appearing due to the plastic sheet not being on my top. I didn’t even have the controller. I didn’t care. I saw Twilight at one point and we shared a rave dance together, Spike was missing but I didn’t care at the time.

And speaking of Diamond, about two hours later, me drunk beyond any human capacity and Rainbow Dash missing somewhere in the crowd I saw a very naked Diamond wonder back to the party. I left the pony I was grinding against with a very sloppy kiss on the mouth and went off to greet Diamond.

“Welcome barrack.” I said, barely understandable words coming from me.

“You win this round.” He said, I barked a laugh and grabbed a glass of cider of my table. I had no idea whose it was but it looked untouched. Diamond just shrugged, took it and downed it. “I still remember everything as well.” He commented, I just nodded and nearly feel over from the sudden movement.

“Shame there ain’t any orgies on.” I muttered.

“You are not attracted to ponies.” He replied.

“I’m beyond fucked right now mate, I doubt I will care if it’s a pony.”

“Morning you might.” I gave a disgusted look.

“That sounds like actual thought. Drunk more.” I commanded, Diamond just smiled and began to walk into the hall. I quickly followed. We came out with a tray of shots (not as strong as before) and I ordered half a dozen drinks I had never tried. Including some mead. I couldn’t actually taste anything now and even having an entire loaf of bread didn’t help much. I just downed the drinks and stood up again, kicking the chair over behind me. Diamond drank some of his as well and with no ceremony we went back to the party.

The next day all I wanted was to die. I couldn’t even move for hours after waking up and threw up more than once, into the bucket that someone had placed. And the drink at my bedside counter was actual ice cold water this time. I passed in and out of sleep that day, completely out of it and still drunk. Turns out that I woke up around two in the afternoon that day, the party ending at three in the morning, Twilight fed me (which I have no memory of) and then passed out again. I didn’t wake up until the next day, splitting headache but I could move at least. I drank the fresh water and very audibly asked for death to take me.

Those were the greatest night and days of my life.

I was out of bed around 1pm the second day and I found Twilight sitting at the table, a full breakfast of bread and apples ready, a very pained and worried look on her face. I walked past my place, poked Twilight and gestured her to stand up. Eventually she did and I just hugged her, holding tight.

“Thank you.” I said, Twilight sniffed a little.

“Diamond went out for a bit, he was less out of it than you, I am glad you are finally okay though.”

“Well, still got the mother of all hangovers, but alive.” I muttered, Twilight nodded into my shoulder.

“I don’t have anything to help so you’ll have to deal with it.” I just nodded. There was a pause for a while.

“How is everyone else?” I asked.

“The town looks like a bomb site, Nopony was out yesterday except for foals, Spike, a few other ponies and me, the town looked completely empty, the stage is wrecked and the town hall needs to be cleaned up again. There was talk yesterday about asking Canterlot for aid. Calling it a natural disaster. The Party of the Century.” I laughed at that and let the hug go.

“Could you imagine Celestia with a litter picker going around picking up plastic cups?” I asked, Twilight smiled and laughed at that. “Heard anything from Dash?” Twilight shook her head.

“I saw her briefly yesterday, she doesn’t remember a lot of that night, let alone your little duet.” I just shrugged. “Nothing?” She asked. Nothing. “Alright. Some travelling pony magician did turn up yesterday to put on a show but quickly left thinking only six people lived in the town. I didn’t really talk to her, I stayed in making sure you and Diamond were alright. But Spike saw her.”

“And for that I think you Twilight, seriously. I can see you didn’t like doing it and hated the fact we were in that state but for what you did increases you to second best pony.” She smiled at that.

“Only second best?” She asked.

“Yeah, Pinkie is first for setting that party up. Keep being awesome and adorable and you’ll be first.” She laughed a little.

“You think I’m adorable?”

“All ponies are, you’re soft, squishy and colourful. Plus y’all smile so much and seem generally happy creatures. Except Diamond but fuck Diamond.”

“Yeah we normally are, Ponies have known peace for a very long time.”

“Speaking of Diamond where is he, I know you said he’s out?” Twilight looked around for a second.

“He went with Spike, I presume to help the clean-up. Why you going to head out?” I paused for a second.

“Yeah, I gotta go find Pinks, Dash and Diamond, to thank her, ask her if she’s alright and ask him if he’s alright.” Twilight nodded.

“I think you might be a lot more welcome around Ponyville after the party. Some of the ponies you were with, and some of the things you did…” Twilight said, trailing off a bit.

“Oh I remember what I did, I was drunk to be fair but I’m pretty sure if I were to ask I would’ve gotten laid. Shame they are ponies. Though I would’ve happily joined an orgy or something. But again, I was drunk. I’m still not attracted to you guys.” I groped many a pony, and they did back. Plus I ended up kissing that grey mare and at one point made out with Vinyl when she woke up at about two. “Were there any injuries or anything? I know you blocked your magic and I saw more than one Pegasus with their wings tied, but people were fucking crazy.”

“Not that I know of, besides hangovers I don’t think anyone got majorly injured, luckily.” I nodded and stood up to go down, drinking some more water as I did.

“Alright, see you later Twilight. And seriously, thank you.” I said before leaving. I didn’t stay for a reply. The first target was Pinkie Pie. I was totally going to ask if she would make a thing of that party. Maybe yearly or something, pretty sure, despite the next day, ponies would be up for doing that again. Turns out Twilight was correct about the townsfolk, there were a few out but not nearly as many as usually and nearly every one of them said hello as I walked past like I was an old friend. A few even walked with me for a bit asking what I was doing and things like that. I was nice.
I didn’t find Pinkie, I did find that grey mare from the party though; she had long blond hair in the style of Rainbow Dash’s and a like-wise tail. Her eyes were orange and her butt mark was a collection of bubbles. She smiled and waved when she saw me and walked over, I saw two wings at her sides and quickly noticed she was actually cross-eyed. I had a fucked up left eye so didn’t judge.

“Hi.” The mare said, she had a pretty cute accent and sounded, bubbly.

“Hey, you must be that mare from the party?” I asked. She nodded and smiled.

“We danced a lot. Though I don’t know your name?”

“Yeah I remember the whole party, despite how drunk I was. Magic ya know?” She nodded and shrugged. “I’m Aron, clearly no pony. I’m not even from this world.”

“Well hi Aron, I’m Derpy Hooves.”

“Lovely name.” She smiled at that. I smiled back. “I’m actually looking for Pinkie Pie, have you seen her?”

“Last I saw she was at Sugarcube Corner. I can take you there if you want?”

“I actually know the way, but I’d appreciate the company.” I said, she beamed again and followed me as I walked towards the sweet shop.

“What happened to the guard you have been with?” She asked after a pause.

“Dunno, last I heard he was with Spike somewhere. If you know Spike.” She nodded.

“I do, isn’t he meant to guard you though?”

“No, he’s actually a friend, Celestia trusted me enough fairly quickly for me to not need a guard. He just travelled to Ponyville with me and I haven’t had much of a chance to socialise. I don’t really like doing it, though I think the party destroyed any anxiety I had.”

“Why are you in Ponyville?” She asked, confused.

“Celestia sent me and Diamond to guard Twilight Sparkle for the Summer Sun Celebration. I’m in Equestria because I have something Celestia called wild magic latched onto me and staying on Earth wouldn’t have been safe for me.”

“No offense Aron but you don’t look tough.”

“None taken Derpy, I really aren’t. I didn’t even really do all that much when Nightmare Moon attacked, got a cool sword from it though so I guess I did enough to be allowed to keep it.”

“Why not walk around with it?”

“For a couple reasons, mainly I see no reason too, I’m no fighter and highly doubt I will ever be attacked enough to need a sword. Plus it’s at the blacksmith’s at the moment having a scabbard built for it.”

“Oh Smith? Yeah she’s nice usually.”

“I don’t know many ponies yet but you all seem pretty friendly. I’m not even close to looking like you guys but I haven’t had much issues with discrimination or anything.” Not that they really have much to go on with discrimination, to them I am a unique race.

“You sure could have fouled me.” She muttered.

“Yeah sorry about the mouth assault, me and Vinyl actually ended up making out on stage at one point. She’s fucking nuts.”

“It’s okay. I don’t really drink but I definitely had the party spirit, I don’t usually go to raves or parties like that but I do like Pinkie parties.”

“Yeah a couple ponies have said the same thing, I wanna see if Pinkie will make a thing of it. Call it PinkFest or something.” Derpy just shrugged.

“I’d probably go again, Vinyl and Ponitatonix are always good.” That caught me slightly.

“Who?”

“Ponitatonix, they are a band, they performed quite a bit at the party did you not notice?” I had noticed some songs I thought I recognised but thinking back there were certainly some Pentatonix songs played. Weird.

“Oh alright, yeah I have something like them back home, a different name though. Pretty freaky but if they are around I wonder who else exists.” Derpy just shrugged. “You come to Sugarcube Corner often?”

“Yes!” She exclaimed, making me jump. “Every morning for my lemon muffins. They are soooo nice.”

“Yeah I love muffins so much, though prefer chocolate or caramel inside.” Derpy looked ready to explode she was so happy.

“Caramel ones are my favourite!” She shouted. “Just I get the lemon ones for breakfast.” She said quieter, we just arrived at the cake shop as she said that.

“That’s awesome. Alright we are here, it was good talking to you Derpy.” I said, turning to enter the store, I felt a hoof stop me though.

“You’re the first pony to not ask about my eyes.” She muttered.

“I see nothing wrong with them, I look like that when trying to go cross-eyed and there are more imperfections with me and a lot of people I know than some cross-eye-ness.”

“Yeah but you didn’t judge, not even when you were heavily drunk.” Which was true, though even with remembering everything I didn’t even notice her eyes.

“Hey, you’re just a normal pony to me. And you like muffins so you’re already pretty cool in my books. I’ll see you around Derpy.” I said, turning to go. She didn’t say anything else. I stepped inside the shop and immediately got greeted by one of the owners. Some skinny looking yellow pony, one of the Cakes I think. Twilight had described him before.

“Oh hey Aron, what can I getcha?” He asked. No idea how he knew me, I didn’t see him at the party, but I guess me being around had spread and being the only human probably did me no favours in such a small town.

“Hey, I’m actually looking for Pinkie Pie? She in?” I asked.

“Yep she is, upstairs and the second door to your left.” He said, I just nodded and walked towards some stairs. If there is one thing I’ve learned about Ponyland yet it’s that the buildings are much bigger on the inside than they should be. It was pretty freaky but I just figured it was innate magic and stopped questioning it. No one seemed to notice it either, not even Diamond. I quickly found the doorway the dude was talking about and noticed how overly pink it was. I just knocked and before I even pulled my hand away the door swung open and I was tackle hugged by Pinkie Pie, knocked to the floor I yelped out a bit.

“Hey Aron.” Pinkie said, huge smile as always.

“Hey Pinks, looks like I’ve fallen for you.” I said, she giggled slightly.

“You wish. If your stage show was anything to go by you’ve fallen for Vinyl more.” She said back. I just shrugged, which was hard on my back with a pony laying on me.

“Meh you’re still horses to me, but I did far more with other ponies than I did Vinyl, was just talking to one when I got here. Just wanted to check up on best pony.”

“Awwh shucks. I’m always good Aron!” She exclaimed.

“Awesome, also a couple other things. First off, again, thank you for making that a thing.” She smiled and blushed slightly. “And also, are you ever going to do that again? Was thinking a yearly rave or whatever, call it PinkFest or something.” She thought about it for a second and nodded.

“Could be a good idea, ponies seemed pretty happy with it and Vinyl seemed more than up for hosting it, and even again. You aren’t the first to ask Momma Pinkie that.” She said. I laughed and put my fist out, she bumped it.

“Bitchin’. That was all, so could you get off me so I can go find Rainbow Dash and Diamond?” I asked, she pretended to think for a second, then leaned closer to my face, licked my face and then jumped off, sprinting downstairs. I just got up, wiped my face and walked downstairs. I didn’t want anything and despite not eating for over a day wasn’t really hungry so I just walked out, some pony said hi as I did but I was already out the door before I could reply. My next target was Rainbow Dash. She would be harder, I presumed she would be in her cloud house which would be awkward to get into to say the least. I figured unless I saw her on my way to Diamond I’d just get Diamond to fly up and bring her down. So off I went towards the town hall, and I could see the hell that awaited whoever was cleaning this up, bits of crap lay everywhere and most of the stage was still up, the instruments were gone as well as the lights and most of the important bits, a couple Earth ponies were tearing the thing apart. I caught sight of a whiskey bottle close to where Vinyl and me had kissed, probably the same one she had been drinking. I stood prone for a second just looking at the destruction, popped balloons and strips of party streamers lay everywhere, as well as empty bottles and cups. A couple ponies also appeared on the outskirts watching ground zero with me, all had a face mixed with shock and happiness. I took a breath and stepped towards the town hall, I walked straight in and saw the hall was at least clean, the bars had been put away and the place looked ready for a town meeting. Spike and Diamond were standing next to each other talking to some random pony. I didn’t recognise them and didn’t care enough to really register them. Just walked towards my pair. The pony walked off just after I walked in and the two just took awkwardly for a second before turning to see me.

“Aron.” Diamond muttered, I barely heard him, just kept walking towards him. I didn’t reply until I got closer and put my fist out. He immediately bumped it.

“Diamond.” I finally replied, he smiled and nodded.

“Well with you here we can stop pretending to help.” Spike said, I barked a laugh slightly and Diamond just nodded.

“A’right, I was looking for Rainbow Dash actually, y’all coming?” Spike and Diamond both nodded. There was silence as we walked out until Spike started talking.

“So what exactly happened? Twilight sent me to bed at about ten and she came in an hour later, but she hasn’t said much.”

“You’re probably too young to really be told Spike.” He just glared at me. “Hey, I’m horrible with people younger than me, I will tell you what happened, just a warning.” He shrugged.

“Alright, the highlights were a drinking contest, many many ponies passing out, me and Vinyl, me and about nine other ponies, heavy drinking and probably the greatest night of my life.”

“Now go into detail.” Spike said.

“Alright, Rainbow Dash, Diamond and I had a drinking contest, drinking shots and seeing who can hold the most. Rainbow went out first because I didn’t want her passing out since we were going to sing together.”

“Yeah I remember that, you know that was a love song right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Was all I said, for a second anyway. “Anyway, Diamond lost next, passed out after god knows how many shots and I got some ponies to take him home. Speaking of, I take it you were okay after that, since you came back then came home with me?” Which was true enough, with Vinyl either passed out somewhere or missing after our make out session Pinkie DJ’d for a while, then she fucked off and let who I figured were the ponified version of Pentatonix played until three when they declared the party over, the crowd had actually gotten bigger as the night went on and I’m convinced the next town over heard and joined the party. There weren’t many groans or shouts for more, most were kinda sick of the party at that point, myself including, everything hurt and I was coming down from the alcohol. May have been a mistake to grab another cider before leaving but whatever. I still kinda ached everywhere but that was more a whole day in bed over anything else. At least I think so anyway.

“Yes they actually put me into bed but I woke up after a while, I left it a bit though. I know my limits.” Diamond replied, I laughed slightly.

“Clearly not if I could kick your ass like I did.”

“I came back from it did I not?” He asked.

“Very true, if it weren’t for the fact I was under that spell I would have most likely passed out well before, and blacked out nearly as soon as we started those shots.”

“You are such a lightweight.”

“Hey, as I said, those drinks were double or triple what humans drink. I probably fucked my liver up after that night. Also Pinkie is going to make a yearly thing, up for that?” He thought about that for a second and did his incredibly evil grin again.

“I would like nothing more to do that again, though a year’s wait is enough to recover.” He said, I nodded and smiled.

“Anyway, so Spike. After our shot contest me and Dash sang that song together, then broke off to dance, I ended dancing with god knows how many mares and groped a couple. Though they did it first so only fair. That carried on for a while and Vinyl passed out on stage whilst DJ’ing, some random dude started doing it after that. Diamond came back at one point and we drank more. About twenty minutes later Vinyl woke up, walked off the stage and grabbed my top and dragged me onto stage. Then declared I was hers for the night and kissed me. I may not be attracted to ponies but damn she was good. So we made out on stage for what felt like half an hour.”

“It was close to an hour when she passed out again.” Diamond said.

“Nice. So after that I left stage, started dancing some more. Talked to some ponies, ate a bit, and danced more and that cycle continued until three in the morning. I’m missing some details obviously but nothing much really happened besides very sexual acts, drinking and I think I got drugged at one point but I doubt it. At three someone declared the party over and the crowd left, I never saw Rainbow leave and only saw her a few more times that night, she was one I kissed but I saw a couple ponies who looked similar so I can’t be sure. Diamond and I went home, went to bed and all of yesterday I felt like dying, I won’t even go into details. I was in pain, very sick and couldn’t even move. Twilight looked after us though and I will forever be thankful, til I do it next year. But then she’ll get two hugs.” Spike nodded.

“Well it sounds like you had a lot of inappropriate fun.” He said, unsure of that.

“Spike I won’t lie to you, that night fixed both my anxiety and probably any home sickness I will have of home for a while, that was one of the best nights of my life.” He nodded again.

“Anyway, you wish to see Rainbow Dash, I believe this is her home.” I looked up and saw a giant ass cloud, it kind of reminded me of a Greek structure, with the pillars it had and how curvy the whole thing looked, though that might’ve been due to it being made of cloud.

“How do you even know where she lives?” I asked. He smiled for a second.

“Twilight told me earlier today, she figured when you woke up you would want to see her. Though we made a bet you would see her before me.” Diamond said, I smiled at that.

“So you taught Twilight betting?” I asked, he nodded. “Nice. Who won?”

“I did, she said you would see Rainbow first, I said you would not have known where she would be and found me first to ask.”

“Ouch, I actually went to find Pinkie Pie first, both you and Dash were on my list of people to talk to but you were my first priority after Pinkie.” I didn’t want to admit that what he said was the case, wanted to at least attempt to look like a good friend. Diamond smiled and nodded, clearly seeing through the bullshit.

“Well you would have needed me to get her, you not being a Pegasus or anything.”

“As cool as you ponies are I don’t think I could stand being one, you’re just too different compared to humans. Though if I figure out how to do magic I guess I could conjure wings or a way to fly.” Diamond shrugged and began to stretch his wings.

“I am no unicorn so could not say.” He said, just as he shot into the air to fly I saw Rainbow Dash flying towards us, well probably her house but towards this direction. I managed to grab Diamond before he flew to an empty house and got pulled forward in his small boost and ended up flat on the group. Spike started laughing and Diamond landed next to me.

“Have a nice trip Aron!” Rainbow called from above me, I slowly started to get up and then suddenly feel back down as something landed on my back. I’d manage to turn slightly before it happened so I wasn’t just eating dirt.

“Motherfucker.” I muttered and heard Rainbow laughing on my back.

“You are so bony.” She said. She then sat down properly so I didn’t have four hard hooves sticking into my spine, still kinda hurt though.

“Yeah no shit, you’re sitting on a major bone.” I said, she flew up and as I turned over to get up she sat on my fucking stomach, I kinda saw that coming. Diamond had just given up and was talking to Spike about something.

“Better?” She asked.

“Not really you’re still sitting on me.” I said, sticking my tongue out at her.

“Sacrifices have to be made Aron.”

“Yeah but why am I the sacrifice?” She was pretty heavy but I could probably sit here for a while, I didn’t want to but could if need be.

“Because you’re easy to bully.”

“I’m meant to be a guard for Twilight Dashie.”

“Yeah but we both know you’re a terrible guard.” Ouch, my feel- actually she was beyond right. After that she flew up and I finally stood up. Wiping some dirt off Dash suddenly flew up and did what Pinkie did early, licked my nose, Dash’s was much longer and covered much of my face, she then flew back and was just hovering passively, giggling loads.

“That’s happened to me twice today.” I said, Dash burst out laughing even more. After that little moment I noticed Diamond and Spike had fucked off. Nice.

“Anyway, what’s up?” She asked.

“Hangover is over and I wanted to check up and see if you were alright.” I replied, crossing my arms.

“Awwh how sweet.” She muttered blushing slightly. “I’m fine though, yesterday was hell but from what Twilight told me you were worse off, how are you?”

“Yeah you wish I was sweet.” She rolled her eyes. “Yeah yesterday all I wanted was to die, I dunno if you remember or not but Twilight cast a spell on me and Diamond so we remembered everything, though that made the hangover far worse than it should have been. I was feeling like death yesterday.”

“You poor thing, is the great Aron okay now? Can he handle a little hangover?”

“Ouch, I may not be tough and I may have been scarred from yesterday but I’m up now and fine. I have an image to keep.”

“And image of a partying alcoholic?”

“Pfft, like you were any better. Speaking of, how much do you remember?” She rolled her eyes again and thought.

“Not much, I know we had a drinking contest and you told me to stop in case I passed out, but after that, nothing. I have blurs. I remember you on stage with Vinyl and I remember dancing with you and random ponies for a while. Then getting home but I don’t remember what time.” I didn’t see her leave, I presume she left when it ended but I couldn’t know for sure.

“Well I won the contest, Diamond passed out, then we did karaoke on stage and butchered some song, and the Vinyl thing was fairly simple. She pulled me onto stage and we totally made out in front of hundreds of people.”

“Hot.” She said.

“I know right. I know I made out with a couple other ponies as well. The party itself ended at about three, but I didn’t see you leave so couldn’t say if you left earlier or not. Though I would’ve loved seeing you fly into your house. As drunk as you were I’m surprised you even made it home.” I found out later that a couple ponies, mainly Pegasi had actually just passed out at the party and slept on the grass for a while. A couple had just stayed at friends’ houses and the like.

“I probably stayed until the end. So does this mean you finally find us attractive?” She asked, the second bit pretty awkwardly, she even rubbed the back of her head with a hoof.

“I was heavily drunk so no, I do see you guys more as humans than horses though, probably a sentience thing over anything else.” Dash muttered something at that which I didn’t hear. A blush formed though so probably something weird. “What was that?” I asked.

“Nuffin.” She said pretty quickly. “So what song did we sing?” She asked after a pause.

“Dunno, I didn’t recognise it and was too drunk to really think on the lyrics. I think you called it Pony Waifu though.” She looked very scared very quickly after that and spread her wings out.

“IHAVETOGO.” She shouted and flew off, I heard a door bang shut before even noticing she had gone, there was a small cloud of dust where she had been and a small rainbow trail heading towards her house. I just shrugged and began to walk back to Twilight’s.

“Nope. Not thinking on that.” Was all I said, then repeated it in my head until I got back to Twilight’s. Spike and Diamond were moving books around and Twilight was barking orders. I tried to leave as I had entered but Twilight turned around pretty quickly with a terrifying grin.

“Oh good Aron, you’re back. Do you think you could help reorganise the library?” She asked, and so I spent the rest of the day building a book fort, being told off by Twilight and then actually helping reorganise the library. I think I taught Twilight and Spike how to swear that day, and Diamond learnt some new ones.

Author's Notes:

i was up til 3am writing that party scene.