Hello everyone! Happy Holidays and Happy New Year. Today we will be reading ‘An "Unreal" Day’ by Brian Jacko. It’s a story where Twilight and her friends play Unreal Tournement. The twist is that they are playing the game in real life! This is a lot more boring than it sounds. I haven’t played Unreal Tournament, so no Unreal in-jokes sadly. I also didn’t feel like playing the game just to help riff this story. The fic didn’t exactly endear me into playing the game. So this is pretty much a blind impression of the game. Should be interesting.

The fic is rated ‘M’, but it isn’t really that violent. ‘Darkness of Love’ was more violent than this fic, and most of the violence is pretty cartoony. So don’t expect ‘Cupcakes’ levels of violence. Thank goodness. Next we will be reading Dax's Despair by Dark Angel AW. A fic that was requested to me by the author himself. Anyway, on with the fic!

If you have a fanfic recommendation, comments, or criticisms please leave a comment or PM me at my fimfiction account or my blog on Tumblr. Please NO clop or fanfiction with extreme violence. I am not going to do those. I want to do a more family friendly series and it is going to be relatively clean. Besides everyone else does them. Okay, I might do one for a special occasion. But otherwise no clop or extreme gore fics. Ok, enough rambling. On with the fic!

Special thanks to Brian Jacko for letting me do his story. You are awesome!

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Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater

by Rixizu

Episode 15 - Part 1

        The control room was decorated with lights, stars, and other Hearth’s Warming decorations. Like her mother, Dinky loved to decorate for the season. Similarly, her parents had decorated the entire facility. A large Hearth’s Warming Eve tree stood in the middle of the main meeting room covered top to bottom with lights, ornaments, and a long red ribbon. Various gifts could be found under it. Both her parents were in good spirits. Despite not exactly being the holiday that the Doctor enjoyed in his home dimension, something called Christmas, the Doctor loved Hearth’s Warming Eve. She looked back fondly at all the fun Hearth’s Warming Eve get-togethers they did every year. Her father would play with her under the tree and tell stories. They would go caroling and look at all the beautiful decorations around Ponyville. Her mother would cook a feast fit for a Princess and seemed to sparkle during this time of the year. Dinky sighed, she thought back to her sister. Her dear and loving gone but never forgot sister Amethyst. It left a deep hole in her heart. All those happy memories had her in it, and making them both happy and painful. It reminded her just how important it was to complete her mission.

She turned around and noticed Star Shot walking through the control room door. Dinky noticed that, while she was smiling, she didn’t have the holiday cheer that everypony else had. She could never quite understand this strange and mysterious pony. Something about her was off somehow. There was something cold and distant about her. Sometimes she questioned taking help from this odd pony, but she really didn’t have much choice. After all too much was on the line.

“Hey kiddo, Happy Hearth’s Warming Eve.” Star Shot greeted.

         Dinky nodded back. “Happy Hearth’s Warming Eve.”

         “So, what are our guests up to?” Star Shot gestured to the monitors.

         “Playing in the garden.” The Doctor requested for snow and he insisted that it won’t be Hearth’s Warming Eve without it and Dinky couldn’t argue with that. Currently, the Doctor and his companion were throwing snowballs at each other from snow forts they built. It was an intense battle with neither side gaining much advantage.

“They seem to be having fun.” Star Shot commented as she watched Ditzy get hit by a snowball laughing all the way.

         Dinky looked upon the battle sadly. She would give anything to be with them right now. It took all her willpower not to get out of her chair and join them right then and there. She decided to detract herself by switching to business. “Have you fixed the third power conduit in section W? It’s been acting up again.”

“All fixed. It had to be completely replaced.” Star Shot said. “I also took a look at the heating system. It was 5 degrees lower than the designated level.”

Dinky nodded. She couldn’t allow anything to get into disarray. Her father would jump on that weakness in an instant she knew. She looked back at the monitor. Her parents were now wrestling in the snow. Dinky laughed at this. She figured that her mother probably got tired of the stalemate and took the matter into her own hooves and went for a more direct assault. It seems they were engaged in an intense tickling battle. She noticed Star Shot watching the two in amusement. Dinky noted that her mother was winning due to her increased height and reach due to her current human form. This came about in an escape attempt gone wrong through one the Doctor’s crazy inventions. She was currently wearing a green sweater with a white stripe and blue jeans. She overpowered her combatant and tickled a particular ticklish spot on his stomach. The Doctor eventually conceded laughing the entire time.

“They’re like a bunch of grown foals.” Star Shot scoffed then shrugged. “I guess some people really don’t grow up.” Ditzy smiled at this. She hadn’t known her parents to be the most mature ponies out there. Her father was remarkably immature for his age sometimes which was considerable.  However, this was something she loved about them.  

Ditzy glanced at the clock, there were 15 minutes left until the experiment. “15 minutes until the experiment begins. Please make your way to the Main Meeting Room.” Ditzy announced over the intercom. She saw that her parents were cleaning themselves of snow and making their way to their destination. She didn’t normally do this, but she was excited and didn’t want to wait much longer. They were going to open gifts after the experiment. Her mother had promised to give a present to her and Dinky was eager to receive it. It wasn’t just a gift, but something from her mother.  Plus, she also had a plan that would hopeful push her parents in the right direction.

         Dinky watched her parents carefully. They were about to enter the doorway that entered to the main meeting room. Dinky pressed a button as soon as her parents were under the doorway. “Oh look above you!” She suddenly announced over the intercom. They started at the sudden sound and looked above them. In the middle of the doorway was mistletoe. “It looks like you have to kiss!”

The Doctor looked incredulous at this and eyed the offending mistletoe suspiciously. Ditzy however looked amused.  The Doctor was about to say something but was interrupted by Ditzy. “Come on Doctor its tradition!”

“Absolutely not!” He said stubbornly.

“It’s just a kiss.” Ditzy argued.

            “No!” The Doctor shot back.

          “You have to kiss Doctor. That’s the rules.” Dinky pressed firmly.

“I see rules more as sug…” He was interrupted when Ditzy suddenly kissed him straight on the lips. The Doctor’s eyes widen and he had a stunned expression when Ditzy’s lips left his. He glared at Ditzy when he regained his wits a few seconds later. Ditzy just laughed hard.

         “Ha. Ha. Ha. How very funny.” He said annoyed not enjoying Ditzy laughing at his expense.

         Dinky frowned. This didn’t go the way she expected. She was hoping the kiss would spark something between them, but that didn’t seem to be the case at all. Her parents viewed the thing more a joke than anything remotely romantic. She sighed.

“Well look at that. I’ve seen kisses between siblings with more passion.” Star Stop quipped amused. Dinky glared at her and Star Shot held up her hooves in a placating gesture. “You have to admit, it’s at least a little funny.”

Dinky continued to glare at her and stopped when the Doctor coughed. “So what is today’s experiment?” He was obviously eager to change the subject. Ditzy just giggled.

Dinky continued to glare at Star Shot before finally answering. “Today you will be reading “An "Unreal" Day” by Brian Jacko.”

“And then presents!” Ditzy proclaimed happily.    

“And then presents.” Dinky agreed. “Enjoy.”

The experiment alarm went off and the Doctor and his companion rushed to the theater.

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Entering the Deathmatch Arena

Twilight Sparkle and her friends stood outside the Princess's castle. There was something new about the entrance through the main doors where the guards stood.

Ditzy: (Twilight) It’s made of candy?

In front of the door, on the ground, were bricks that were carefully laid in a circle.

Doctor: (Twilight) Princess Celestia, have you been sacrificing ponies to demons again?

There were lots of different colors of bricks,

Doctor: The palace could really do with some color.

and the colors made a shape of what appeared to be a circle with jagged edges and in the middle of the circle were bricks in the shape of the letter "U" that had sharp ends like that of a knife or sword.

Ditzy: It was positively unreal.

The guards welcomed Twilight and her friends inside and they guided them to the tea room where both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were patiently waiting for them. The Princesses welcomed their guests and they all sat down as the royal servants poured tea for everypony.

Ditzy: (Rainbow) Tea? Only sissies drink tea. I want coffee!

Twilight stared awkwardly at her cup thinking

Doctor: (Twilight) She knows I hate peppermint tea.

about that strange symbol she saw at the gates. Her curiosity got the better of her and she asked, "Princess Celestia, what was that strange symbol I saw outside the castle doors? What does it mean?"

Doctor: (Celestia) It’s my new personal logo. Do you like it?

Princess Celestia bowed her head in slight embarrassment and blushed a bit. "Oh, it's just something my sister and I are quite fanatical about and it represents a special game that we can't stop playing," she said.

Ditzy: (Rainbow) How nerdy. What next? A tattoo?

Doctor: (Celestia) Um….

Pinkie Pie knocked over her cup and spilled her tea in excitement. "Oh, Oh, Oh! What kind of game? I just love games! Can we play a game now?"

Ditzy: (Pinkie) Is it Candy Land, Operation, Charades, Jump Rope, Goldeneye, Chess, Halo,, Tic Tac Toe, Laser Tag, Mario Party? Ooh! Maybe Tag! I love Tag! You get to run around and…

Doctor: (Luna) Just let us explain please.

Princess Luna grinned at Pinkie Pie's enthusiasm

Doctor: Even though Pinkie was now jumping on the table and making a mess of things.

Ditzy: Rarity fainted at this display.

and replied, "That is why we have called you here. To do an experiment with you all!

Doctor: (Luna) It’s called the prisoner's dilemma.

To see if you'll enjoy something that we hold close to our hearts.

Ditzy: (Twilight) No Princess Luna, we’re not going to read your fanfiction.

We have a special set up in another room for all of you today."

Doctor: (Luna) And collars that explode if you lose or break the rules.

Everypony looked at the Princesses with curiosity. They were very curious to see what the Princesses had in store for them and gulped down their teas quickly.

Ditzy: Rarity chastised them for their lack of manners.

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna looked into each others eyes and smiled with delight.

Ditzy: (Celestia) Gullible foals.

The guards led everypony over to a door. When the door opened, there was a spiraling stair case that ventured deep down into the ground.

Doctor: (Twilight) Can’t we just take the elevator?

Ditzy: (Celestia) No! It is cooler and more dramatic this way!

There were torches on the walls infused with a special kind of magic to keep them eternally lit.

Doctor: Sounds like a really dangerous fire hazard.

As they reached the bottom, there were multiple doors with names on them.

Ditzy: (Reading) Aratron, Bethor, Phaleg, Ophoel, Hagith, and Aratron?

The door that they happened to be standing in front of had the name "Bone Scraper" on it.

Doctor: How cheery.

Ditzy: (Twilight) Well look at the time, I really need to get going!

Twilight looked up at the Princesses with an unsure look on her face. "Where do these doors lead to and why do these doors have names on them?" she asked.

Princess Luna clapped her front hooves together with delight and said, "These doors are special portals to the arenas you will be playing in. Allow us to use our magic to show you around each arena."

Doctor: Somehow I knew deathmatches would be involved.

Both Princesses lit their horns up and a magical vision was shown to all the rest of the girls

Ditzy: Twilight and the rest of the girls turned bright red.

Doctor: (Luna) Oops, we didn’t mean to show thee that.

Ditzy: (Twilight) This is going to make Moondancer’s birthday party really awkward...

about the arena layout, the weapons, and power-ups. The Princesses took them through a variety of different arenas that had all different kinds of environments and layouts that were all quite unique.

Doctor: (Applejack) Ah mud wrestling area?

"What arena does everypony wish to play in?" Princess Celestia asked.

Doctor: Um, you haven’t exactly explained what game they are even playing.

All the girls looked at each other with confusion. Twilight eventually spoke up. "I don't know Princesses. We don't know anything about the game, so why don't you pick out an arena for us to play in."

Ditzy: (Pinkie) An area full of lava and spikes is a strange place to play pin the tail on the pony.

The Princesses giggled with delight

All: Wha!?

Doctor: Oohhhkay.

as they used their magic to open the door to the arena of Bone Scraper. It was one of their most favorite arenas in the game.

Doctor: The bleached skulls went well with the carpet.

Princess Celestia's tone of voice changed to a more serious tone. "Now before you all walk through the portal, I need you to put on these necklaces.

Doctor: (Rarity) What!? I would never be caught dead in that thing!

They are powered with the most potent magic we could find in all of Equestria and you need to keep them around your necks or on your bodies at all times or the effects can be disastrous!

Doctor: (Rainbow) Pfft, whatever.

Ditzy: (Pinkie giggling) What pretty necklaces! Do we get to keep them?

These necklaces also contain a magic that will void Pegasus ponies their ability to use their wings while playing. It would be too much of an unfair advantage. Unicorns are also not allowed to use their magic in anyway to gain a mobility advantage such as teleporting."

Ditzy: But that gives Earth Ponies all the advantage!

Princess Luna used her magic to levitate herself over a box and then she opened up the box using her magic.

Ditzy: (Luna) Finally our copy of the fabled Black Lotus is here!

Inside the box were golden necklaces. Each one had sparkling gems that were crafted perfectly into what represented each players cutie marks. These weren't the elements of harmony, but they looked similar. The gems seemed to glow with a very powerful magic that was inside of them. Discord was the one to help the Princesses create these special necklaces because they had the power to do one thing that was very unique and out of the ordinary.

All: Sounds totally safe to me!

Princess Luna levitated each necklace out and gracefully placed one necklace around each pony's neck. She took a step back and looked at each player. "This is going to be so much fun! I have been practicing my traditional royal Canterlot voice for this occasion! Don't just stand there girls! Go in and have some fun!"

Doctor: Rules? Goal of the game? Anything?

Ditzy: At least tell us the game’s name!

Twilight and her friends looked at each other with a look of uncertainty on their faces and cautiously stepped through the portal. Within an instant they were all standing in a very new environment.

Applejack took off her hat and scratched her head with her hoof. "What in tarnations is this place? How do we exactly play?"

Doctor: Will multi-sided dice be involved?

Suddenly, a booming voice spoke to them. It was Princess Celestia. "The necklaces you are wearing contain your inventory of weapons that you will see at all times while playing the game. Each weapon also shows how much ammo it has. As you venture through the arena and find more weapons, it will be added to your inventory. Simply use your minds to go through your inventory and select what weapon you would like to use at the moment. Everypony starts out with a weapon called the Enforcer. It is possible to pick up another Enforcer and wield two at one time if you are able to defeat another opponent who also happens to be using the Enforcer or the Impact Hammer. Speaking of the Impact Hammer, you are also each given a special tool called the Impact Hammer that can be used as a weapon or as an ability to leap over certain obstacles or reach areas of the arena that cannot be normally reached.

Ditzy: Wouldn’t be easier to just give them jetpacks instead? That would be way cooler!

Do keep in mind that it comes at a small sacrifice of your current health, armor, or shield points. Every weapon has at least two different firing modes. Some even have alternative firing modes and can be used in creative ways. There is even a weapon that can form a third kind of effect if you connect the secondary fire with the first. You all have the ability to jump into the air,

All: Amazing!

and then jump a second time while in mid air if you choose to do so."

Ditzy: That’s a neat trick,but you should go with the jetpack idea.

Pinkie Pie jumped into the air and then jumped a second time as if she were jumping off of an invisible ledge that was in mid air.

Doctor: Can’t she do that normally?

Pinkie Pie giggled madly at that neat ability and then consciously went through her inventory as the magic from the necklace glowed. Suddenly she pulled out her Impact Hammer and began to charge it in its primary mode. She pointed it to the ground and jumped. As soon as she jumped, she let go of the trigger and the force of the Impact Hammer sent her flying high into the sky and she landed on a ledge above her friends. "Wow! That was so much fun! You all should try it too!" Pinkie Pie said as she managed to contain her giggling.

None of the other girls seemed too excited to try it.

Ditzy: (Twilight) That looks really dangerous. What if we hit a wall?

Rainbow Dash went through her inventory and took out her Enforcer. She pointed it around a bit.

Doctor: Careful, that isn't a toy!

Twilight Sparkle looked nervously at Rainbow Dash and asked, "What is the goal of this game again, Princess?"

"It's really simple, Twilight Sparkle," the voice replied. "The goal of the game is to frag each other

Doctor: Why am I not surprised?

and whoever has the most kills when the timer runs out, that pony is the winner."

Doctor: (Fluttershy) That doesn’t sound very polite!

All the girls looked at each other with horror on their faces.

Twilight Sparkle shot back at the voice speaking to them, "You mean you want me to murder my own friends? I can't do that Princess! That would destroy the power of our love and friendships!

Doctor: (Celestia) Pfft. Love and Power of Friendship? That’s outdated nonsense. Guns are where it is at!

Is that what you dragged us here for? To give you and Princess Luna some kind of sick viewing pleasure as you both watch us blow each other's bodies into tiny pieces!?"

Doctor: (Celestia) Yes.

Ditzy: (Luna) It will be most amusing to us.

Princess Celestia replied, "This is just a game, Twilight.

Doctor: So go ahead and murder your friends!

Just imagine you're killing them all with the love of friendship!

Ditzy: (Celestia) Besides, you can just get new friends anyway.

Prepare yourselves! As Princess Celstia began the countdown, each player had a vision and could see the colored words that were being spoken by the Princess. "The match is now going to start in... Three.....Two.....One.... PLAY!"

Ditzy: Er, what. I can’t really read that.

Doctor: Oh for, don’t use light colored text on a white background! It’s common sense!

Each pony vanished from where they were standing and suddenly each player found themselves alone in a different part of the arena.

Doctor: And what happens if they don’t play? They could just stand there until the timer runs out.

Next Chapter: Episode 15 - An "Unreal" Day - Chapter 2 Estimated time remaining: 17 Hours, 41 Minutes