Hello again. Extra long chapter this time. I decided to do two chapters for this episode. It is split into two parts to make it easier to navigate chapters and save on file size. This is should be the last of Guardians of Magic for now. I might come back to it sometime in the future, but I don’t think that is very likely. It is just too long and I really want to move on to something else. I think I picked a decent chapter to end off on. If you have liked what you have read so far, continue on reading. I think the story gets better from beyond here. Even if it is a bit slow.(Shire Folk, why are Sora and Co. STILL in Equestria?)

Next time I am going to do The Darkness of Love by Grimm Reaper. Since each chapter is pretty short, I am going to do multiple chapters per episode. They too will be broken into different parts for convenience. Also, check it out. I created cover art for DDST(Something I have been putting off for far too long). What do think?

If you have a fanfic recommendation, comments, or criticisms please leave a comment or PM me at my fimfiction account or my blog on Tumblr. Please NO clop or fanfiction with extreme violence. I am not going to do those. I want to do a more family friendly series and it is going to be relatively clean. Besides everyone else does them. Okay, I might do one for a special occasion. But otherwise no clop or extreme gore fics. Ok, enough rambling. On with the fic!

Special thanks to Shire Folk for letting me use his story.

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Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater

by Rixizu

Episode 5 - Part 1

The Doctor groaned. His head felt hazy and had trouble standing up. All this seemed all too familiar.  He looked around and his suspicions were proven correct. He was once again trapped in that strange facility. It was going so well too. The Doctor had just sent that strange eldritch creature back home with the help of Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy. It turns out that it was just a lost and scared baby trying to find its mother. The Doctor nicknamed her Georgia.

Somehow the Cutie Mark Crusaders summoned it when they found the Necroponicon under the floorboards in Twilight’s library. It baffled the Doctor how ancient and dangerous magical books kept showing up in the public library of a small town. The Crusaders somehow got in their heads that they should try being Cutie Mark Crusaders Demon Summoners. Fortunately for Equestria, they messed up the summoning ritual. It required the sacrifice of a live chicken. The ritual required blood in order for it to work properly and the Crusaders couldn’t go through with it, so they used tomatoes instead. They reasoned that it would be close enough. Since the ritual wasn’t properly performed, it summoned Georgia instead. If the Doctor was asked to describe her , he would say she was a cross between a goat, a cat, and gorilla…with a lot of tentacles.

It took some time, but they were able to calm Georgia down after Rainbow Dash foolishly attacked her thinking she was a rampaging monster. Fluttershy sung her to sleep. She knew the creature was only baby and that she was scared and lost with just a look. Somehow Fluttershy’s talent with animals worked with eldritch creatures from beyond their reality. The Doctor had to admit that Fluttershy was right about her being cute, in a weird tentacle filled way. After getting the full story from the Crusaders, Twilight and the Doctor studied the Necroponicon and were able to come up with a counter spell to send Georgia back home.

                When the Doctor questioned, well mostly yelled at, the Crusaders for trying to summon a demon, they themselves were not quite sure why they even did it. The Doctor wondered if it was possible that someone or something prayed on their innocent, susceptible minds to cause havoc. After saying goodbye and sending the Necroponicon to Celestia for safekeeping(The Doctor refused to let Twilight have too a good look at it. Some knowledge is best left forgotten), the Doctor and Ditzy left to go to Golden Harvest’s house so they could come up with a plan to stop Dinky and get the Tardis back, but they got captured again. It was typical really, something he should have seen coming. The Doctor was no stranger to be recaptured after escaping. Sometimes it happened to him four or five times in one day!

The Doctor sighed. He should have told Twilight and her friends about their predicament. Now they were trapped here again with little chance of rescue. Still, it wasn’t a complete loss, he learned that the facility was located at the edge of Ponyville near the school. Knowledge he was sure he could use. What really puzzled the Doctor is where this facility came from and how it was built without anyone noticing.

The Doctor look a good look at the room he was in, it was the same room he left when they tried to escape and it was in complete disarray. All the Nightmare Night decorations they set up previously to have a fun Nightmare Night were scattered in a complete mess all over the room. Decoration, treats, various Nightmare Night games, and pieces of the destroyed ceiling littered the floor.

“What a mess.” The Doctor sighed again and began his search for Ditzy. He found her only a few feet away. Both of them were still dress in their Nightmare Night costumes. To his relief Ditzy was slowly getting to her hooves as well.

                “What happened?” Ditzy said groggily. She took in her surroundings. “You have got to be kidding me.”

                “Yep.” The Doctor said simply. “Stuck here again.“

                “Horse’s apples!” Ditzy cursed. She stomped a hoof in frustration. “I was so sure we would be able to escape. They hit us before we even saw them coming!”

                This was true. One minute they were in Ponyville again a few blocks from Twilight Sparkle’s library, next minute, back here again. The Doctor looked up. “The ceiling is fixed it seems.”

                “That was quick.” Ditzy mussed.  “Now what?”

                “I am very disappointed in your two.” The sudden appearance to Dinky’s voice made the Time Lord and his companion jump. Dinky’s voice had a harsh and annoyed tone to it. With the distorted effect added to it, it also came off as creepy. “I will have to come up with a suitable punishment for this.”

                “We should have just given up a perfectly good chance to escape?” The Doctor mused. “You don’t seem to know us very well.”

                “Yeah, it’s nice here and everything.” Ditzy replied. “But we just want to leave already.”

                “Quite true. Quite true.” The Doctor said quickly. “Places to go. People to meet. We are very busy ponies. The universe won’t save itself.”

                “That’s just too bad.” Their captor said in an irritated tone. “First…no dessert for two months!”

                “Um, ok.” The Doctor said very confused. Ditzy, on the other hoof, looked like Dinky just said they were going to be tortured.

                “And after you clean this mess up, you are going straight to your room. You are grounded for a month! No games or anything fun!” It sounded like Dinky was taking great pleasure in punishing them like this.

                The Doctor blinked. “Wha?” He was being grounded. He was being grounded and sent to room. Nothing like this has even happened to him in eons. No villain has ever done this to him. They usually brought out threats, death traps, torture, and worst of all, villainous monologuing. He was too stunned to say anything. Ditzy looked just as baffled.

                “You can clean this mess after the experiment.”

                Ditzy blinked. “But we just did one yesterday. I, uh, think it was yesterday anyway.”  She didn’t have a clue just how long she and the Doctor has been under whatever knocked them out.

                “Now you are doing another one.” Dinky growled. “I think I have been far too lenient on you two. I think things are going to change from now on.”

                That did not sound good. The Doctor realized maybe he should have taken Dinky more seriously. Even an incompetent foe can become dangerous if certain buttons are pushed.

                ““Today’s experiment is the fourth chapter of Guardians of Magic by Shire Folk. Enjoy.”

                The experiment alarm went off and seemed a lot louder than normal. The Doctor tried saying something, but it was drowned out by the alarm. The two went into the theater to stop the alarm from destroying their eardrums.

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Okay, some weatherpony in Cloudsdale’s getting sent to the moon. It’s snowing again in Edmonton.

‘

Doctor: (Shire Folk) It’s April! Snow should be long gone by March!

(Shire Folk holds up a wooden sign with the word ‘Disclaimer’ painted in black letters on it. Vicious wood-eating moth-bears descend upon the sign and devour it.)

Ditzy: Moth-bear? Is that some sort of animal from Avatar: The Last Airbender?

-G-M-

Chapter 4: Murphy’s Law

Doctor: Just when you say that fic couldn’t possibly get any worse, it does.

        Pinkie Pie’s party was in full swing in the ballroom of Canterlot Castle. Riku had to admit that he had been impressed when he’d first laid eyes on all the decorations that were hung on every surface within the pillared room.

Doctor: Riku wondered how she decorated such a large room with banners, balloons,and streamers in a few hours and had a table that was catered with cake, punch, cupcakes, and other treats.

Crystal bowls of punch sat on a table right next to an array of delicious desserts, and a gramophone (a gramophone!) was playing music.

Doctor: Much to his surprise, it was playing dubstep.

Pinkie had done a lot of work in a very short amount of time to get everything ready.

        He had been impressed by all the confetti, streamers, and balloons that were decorating the ballroom, since it had only been an hour and a half since the party pony had left their group before they’d departed the dungeons.

Doctor: (Pinkie) Meh, not even close to my personal best. I must be tired today.

Riku’s attitude, however, changed to terror when Rarity told him about Pinkie Pie’s party cannon.

Ditzy: (Riku) They let her near gunpowder!?

The thought of a cannon that could almost instantly decorate a room into a kid’s birthday party

Ditzy: What do goats have to do with anything?

Doctor: I think I prefer one of Pinkie’s parties over one of your ‘college’ parties Riku.

pad was both awe-inspiring and horrifying. If she could come up with something like that when she put her mind to it, what else could the earth pony do?

Ditzy: How about Pinkie’s cupcake launcher?

Doctor: Bend time and space to her will and go into other universes?

        Regardless, Riku relegated himself to official wallflower,

Doctor: Riku took formal classes and had to pass several harrowing tests for this prestigious position.

standing on his hind legs and leaning against the back of a pillar while crossing his forehooves in front of his body, and watched the proceedings going on.

Doctor: He cringed at Sora’s attempts at dancing the robot as a pony.

He really hated being a pony right now; it ruined his pose.

Ditzy: Riku was starting to have a mental breakdown. The thought of being uncool for even a second was too much for him.

Sora was having a conversation with Rainbow Dash, and from what Riku was able to overhear he was telling her more about his adventures in greater detail.

Ditzy: (Sora) And then Tinkerbell showered me with Pixiedust and I gained the ability to fly!

Doctor: (Rainbow) Wow, that’s really lame.

Kairi and Rei had both really gotten into the swing of things and Kairi was playing ‘pin the tail on the pony’ with Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack; while Rei was having a ball playing with Spike and his pet phoenix hatchling, Peewee.

Ditzy: Come to think of it, where has he been last few chapters?

Twilight Sparkle, unsurprisingly, was solemnly standing only a short distance away from Riku. She had appeared to half-heartedly take part in the celebrations for a while, but for the past ten minutes she had been as anti-social as he the entire party.

        And Riku had a shrewd suspicion as to why.

Ditzy: (Riku) She thinks this party is as stupid as I do.

        Dropping onto all four hooves, he casually strolled over to the lavender unicorn. “Something on your mind?” he asked. Twilight glanced up at him in surprise for a moment before nodding her head.

Doctor: (Twilight) Normally I’m a real party animal. You should see my sweet dance moves.

        “Yes, actually,” she answered. “This is all just so much to absorb.

Doctor: (Twilight) All that exposition last chapter was too much to take in.

I’m somepony who’s supposed to uphold the flow of all magic in existence? Not only that, I’m also supposed to be a bearer of a magical weapon that can open up any lock and unlock the power dwelling in my heart? Do you realize how crazy all this sounds?” Riku chuckled slightly.

Ditzy: (Riku) Lightweight. This is nothing compared to half of the things we have faced.

        “Yeah, I do,” he answered amiably. “Welcome to the madness.” Twilight put her knee close to her mouth, trying to cover up her giggle.

Ditzy: (Riku) Here is your complementary beanie cap with propellor.

        “Well, when Pinkie Pie’s one of your friends, you get used to a bit of madness after a while,” she said.

        Riku nodded. “I noticed. She really has a party cannon?”

Doctor: (Twilight) You should see the Party Bazooka she’s working on.

        Twilight glanced at the object. “Yep, it’s real. She also has this thing that she calls her ‘Pinkie Sense’. Whenever her body spasms uncontrollably in a certain way, it means that something’s about to happen.

Doctor: What an awkward and sudden change in subject.

When her tail twitches, it means that something’s going to fall; if her ears flop, eyes flutter, and then knees twitch, it means to beware of opening doors;

Ditzy: Um, is she going to explain every one of Pinkie’s signals?

whereas an ear flop, knee twitch, eye flutter means we’re about to have a beautiful rainbow in the sky.”

Doctor: I might have to ask that about her later.

Ditzy: How about right knee twitch, ears flop, shiver down spine, and tail twitch?

Doctor: And what does that mean?

Ditzy: Raining cats and dogs. Literally.

        “Uh-huh.” He hoped his skepticism was beyond heavily laced.

Doctor: I think Riku is going to end a gibbering mess after spending a day with Pinkie.

        “Yeah, I thought so too,” Twilight agreed, “but it’s true. There’s no logical way of understanding it, and I’ve tested and experimented on her but, whatever it is, she’s got it.”

Doctor: (Groans) Tell me about it.

She pawed at the ground with a hoof and looked at her friends partying. “Riku, this Guardian thing means that I’ll have to leave Equestria when you’ve taken care of the Heartless, doesn’t it?”

        He sighed a little. No sense in sugar-coating it. “Yes.”

Ditzy: Wait...what about the changeling invasion!? It might have succeeded if it wasn't for her!

Doctor: Or Sombra?

        “Will I ever be coming back?”

        “Most likely,” he replied. “It might take a while, but I’m sure you’ll be able to if you want to.”

Doctor: Let’s just hope you don’t come home to a changeling controlled wasteland.

        Twilight nodded her head, and then turned to face Riku directly. He turned his head slightly in response, his aqua eyes meeting her violet ones. “I understand that Rei had a dream that told all of you to go around gathering the Guardians of Magic,

Doctor: Something I’m sure can’t possibly go wrong.

but what I don’t know is why it appears to be so important. Why do you guys need me and Trixie?

Ditzy: (Twilight) With your three pony party limit we’ll just be sidelined most of the trip.

We’ve been living completely unaware of our importance to all of magic, and the ignorance hasn’t bothered us before.”

Doctor: (Twilight) I love knowing that my death could cause serious repercussions to all of creation!

Riku answered carefully, his voice dropping into a lower register. “We’re not the only ones who are looking.”

Ditzy: (Growls) Xehanort.

Doctor: Why do keep assuming he’s even a player in this story? So far, it hasn’t even been hinted he’s involved.

Ditzy: Doctor, this is Kingdom Hearts. He’s behind everything. Everything!

        Twilight took a step back, the severity of his voice scaring her. “Wha—what do you mean?”

        “I mean that there’s someone else who’s also looking for the Keepers of the Art.” Twilight’s eyes went back and forth as her mind apparently figured out what he meant by that.

Ditzy: (Twilight) What if somepony wants to use us to find ancient artifacts of untold power like the Horserer’s Stone or the Crenshiniponi?!

Doctor: (Riku) The Horserer’s Stone? Really?

        “I—I see,” she answered. “So, either we go into danger, or we stay here and endanger ourselves and all of Equestria?” He could see the way that the lavender unicorn was shuddering at the thought.

Ditzy: In actually, it was just a cold breeze from a nearby open window.

        Riku gave her a small smile and placed a hoof on her shoulder. “Don’t worry,” he told her kindly. “You go into danger in good company.”

Doctor: (RIku) So far we have only lost eight party members.

        “I’m not entirely sure of that yet,” she answered, though he noticed that she did not take his hoof off her shoulder.

Doctor: (Twilight) Why Riku, I thought you said you weren’t looking for a marefriend?

“Uh, hey, do you think you could come with me for a bit? There are a few ponies in Canterlot I want to talk with about this, and it might be helpful if one of you were there with me to answer any questions I can’t.”

Ditzy: (Twilight) Perfect! The plan is going smoothly. Now all I have to do is invite him to have coffee with me!

        Riku removed his hoof from her shoulder and nodded his head. “Of course.” He glanced over at the rest of the ponies. “I don’t think they’ll really miss us much if we sneak out.” Twilight shook her head, and the two unicorns quietly made their way out of the ballroom.

Doctor: (Pinkie) BYE RIKU! BYE TWILIGHT! HOPE YOU HAD A SUPER FUN TIME AT THE PARTY!

Two Unicorn Royal Guards stood outside of the room, and only watched silently as the pair made their way past them.

Ditzy: (Guard) It looks like somepony is getting some action tonight.

“By the way,” Riku asked, “what was with all those cracks on the pillars in there? I thought that the ballroom of this castle would be totally pristine?”

All: (Coughs) Um…

Doctor: No clue.

Ditzy: Yeah, it’s really strange. Not sure how that could have happened.

 To his surprise, Twilight laughed. “That was all the doing of my friends back there,” she explained.

Ditzy: Oh yeah. That’s right, that did happen.

Doctor: The ballroom got destroyed a second time?

The Grand Galloping Gala turned out to not be what we expected at all.”

Ditzy: No kidding. It’s full of stuck up snobs!

Doctor: It kinda didn’t help that your idea of fancy dress is a ‘kiss the cook’ t-shirt and a skirt.

Ditzy: Hey, I don’t usually wears clothes ok!

        “Gala, huh?” Riku asked, turning his head to look back at the closed doors to the ballroom. “Do I even want to know?”

Doctor: (Twilight) Probably not. I still have nightmares.

        “Probably not,” Twilight admitted. “It was both the worst, and best night ever.”

“Aw, how bad could it really be?”

Ditzy: (Twilight) Let me put this way. It’s known as the ‘Canterlot Gaia Tragedy’ for a reason.

        She looked at him. Riku wasn’t entirely sure what the look in her eyes was trying to convey, but he felt like there was a mix between amusement and cynicism. “Fluttershy raged to the animals in the gardens,

All: (Jaw drops)

Ditzy: Fluttershy did that!?

Doctor: What in the world…

Rainbow Dash accidentally destroyed all those pillars and a stylized statue of Princess Celestia while trying to impress the Wonderbolts,

Doctor: No surprises here.

Pinkie Pie annoyed the hay out of most of the other guests trying to get them to party because she doesn’t know what a high society party is like,

Doctor: (Smirking) I will be sure to invite her the next time I go to a fancy party.

Applejack was insulted by Prince Blueblood after he’d eaten one of her pastries because it was ‘common carnival food’ and the apple cake she then made got splattered all over a pony, and Rarity was the pony that got the cake splattered on because Prince Blueblood is a total horse and no Prince Charming.”

Ditzy: Strange, when I met him he was the complete opposite!

Doctor: I’m guessing he acted like that because he thought she was a gold digger.

Ditzy: I wonder how he got that idea.

        Riku couldn’t help but laugh. “So what about you? What happened to the intrepid Twilight Sparkle that made the night so awful?”

Doctor: (Twilight) I wasted time that was better spent studying!

        She smiled. “I stayed next to Princess Celestia the whole night, and we were both stuck greeting guests the entire time with no time to talk to each other.”

Ditzy: (Twilight) Ugh. It felt like I shook the hoof of half of the ponies in Canterlot!

        “Wow, that sucks,” Riku noted.

        “That is, until we were able to escape to the scene of the chaos, flee the Gala,

Doctor: Leaving screaming, fires, bodies, and anarchy far behind them.

and meet up at Donut Joe’s with Spike for donuts. Talking to everypony else about how awful our nights were really helped. Then Princess Celestia came to join us and told us that, in her opinion, the Grand Galloping Gala is always awful.

All: No arguments here.

She said she was glad that we would be attending because she had hoped we could liven things up a bit.”

Ditzy: I doubt Octy found it so amusing when it almost destroyed her career.

        Riku glanced around with a smirk on his face, searching for the princess. He didn’t dare say it out loud in front of the alicorn’s faithful student, but he definitely came to the conclusion that Celestia was a troll or at the very least a lively prankster.

Doctor: She certainly can be quite the prankster. She did win the Second and Third Prank War after all.

“Well, going by your description, ‘liven things up a bit’ is quite the understatement. You six were sponsored party crashers.” Twilight giggled.

        “You know what, I think we were.”

        “A ballroom blitz,” Riku added.

        “I’m not really sure what you mean by that, but I guess so.”

        Riku snorted and rolled his eyes. “It’s a song by a group called Sweet. You’ll probably end up hearing it at some point while you’re with us.”

Doctor: (Riku) We prefer listening to classic music over that modern crap.

        “I see,” she answered. Riku contemplated countering for a moment with the correction of ‘you’ll hear’, but decided against it.

Doctor: Wow, talk about out of character.

Ditzy: No kidding. Make a mistake and you never hear the end of it.

The pair exited the castle’s interior and came into a courtyard with a path that would lead away from the castle and into Canterlot proper. Riku blinked a couple of times as his eyes adjusted to the mid-afternoon sun reflecting off of the many white spires and buildings of the city below the castle.

Doctor: It’s only a model.

        “Where are we going anyway?” he asked.

Doctor: (Twilight) I was thinking could go on a tour of Canterlot! I can’t wait to tell you about Canterlot and its rich history! I already prepared a checklist!

        Twilight blushed a little and looked away from him. “Just…my parents’ house…”

Ditzy: (Twilight) I know its too soon, but...

-G-M-

        “I knew it.”

        Sora turned away from his conversation with Rainbow Dash (after having just finished instructing her on the finer points of pirate accents) to find the owner of the nearby voice. An older pony was standing nearby, and looking at him with a somewhat smug mug.

Ditzy: (Old pony) Keyblade Smeeblade! I could take you youngster with one leg behind my back!

His coat and horn were mauve, his mane white and gold, and sparklingly intelligent eyes were observing Sora from over a bushy white beard. Sora almost took a step back. Ponies could have beards?

        This world had achieved a new level of awesome to infuse its cuteness smoothie with.

Doctor: Sora sudden felt the compulsion to buy several pony playsets when he gets home.

        “Knew what?” he asked.

        “Uh, mind filling us in on who you are old timer?” Rainbow Dash asked. “We were kinda in the middle of a conversation here.”

Doctor: (Rainbow Dash in a stuck up voice) Good sir. We were were having a conversation about the finer point of pirate accents and would mind it if we were not interrupted.

        “Hm…” the old unicorn replied, peering at Sora’s side. It took the Keyblade Master a second to realize that he was looking at his (blech) cutie mark.

Ditzy: (Sora) That’s it! From now on I’m calling it a Macho Mark!

“So,” he began again with surprising energy, “how is that young rascal Yen Sid doing? Still getting into loads of mischief? I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Ditzy: (Coltinster) Does he still do the plastic wrap on the toilet gag?

        Sora felt his jaw drop rather than do it consciously. How in the…? Roxas spluttered inside his mind. This guy knows Master Yen Sid! HOW DOES HE—?

Doctor: This was one of the reasons Sora wanted to kick Roxas out of his head. The near constant headaches Roxas caused because he can’t shut his stupid mouth.

        “B-buh…wha?” Sora questioned incoherently. His ears had to be malfunctioning,

Ditzy: (Sora) Darn it! And the warranty just expired last week!

Doctor: (Sora) Why am I suddenly hearing everything in Latin?

or he was having a heart attack;

Ditzy: Kira strikes again!

he wasn’t sure which just yet.

Doctor: (Sora) My daily trips to Wacky Hut have finally gotten to me!

He thought he’d just heard this unicorn call Master Yen Sid a young rascal. Sora shook his head and punched his jaw back into its proper place with a hoof. “I’m sorry. There must be wax in my ears,

Ditzy: (Pinkie) Nope! Just cake frosting! Mmmm...Yummy!

 because I thought I heard you say that you know Master Yen Sid.”

        The unicorn smiled mischievously at him. “Of course I know him. He apprenticed under me.”

Ditzy: (Sora) Do you have any embarrassing photos I could show to everyone?

Doctor: (Coltinster) There was this time when through a goth phase.

        And now our jaws have been dislocated.

Doctor: (Sora) The pain! Just kill me now please!

        “K-K-K-KAIRI!”

Doctor: (Sora) Please hold me!

        The pink pegasus jumped ten feet in the air at the abruptness of Sora’s shout and the Oathkeeper appeared in her mouth reflexively. “What ish it, Shora?” she asked when back on the floor again.

Ditzy: (Kairi) Let me at them! Let me at them! I will paint the walls with their blood!

        Sora whirled around to face her, and pointed a hoof at the elder unicorn. “This pony taught Master Yen Sid!” The Oathkeeper disappeared from Kairi’s mouth and she yelped in surprise. A short gallop later, she was right beside Sora and staring at the unicorn in awe.

All: We're not worthy! We're not worthy!

        “Who are you?” she asked.

        “Coltinster, Headmaster of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns,” he answered. Coltinster bowed in front of them, startling both pegasi for a moment. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Wielders of the Keyblade. I must say, I haven’t seen one of your kind since the fall of Myth Drannor.”

Ditzy: Er...what?

Doctor: I believe he is talking about the capital of Rygunous IV.

        “Say what?” Rainbow Dash asked. “You know about the Keyblade thingy these guys have?”

        “Of course,” Coltinster answered. “If you think I haven’t seen many things in my fifty winters, then you’re even younger than that filly over there.”

Doctor: (Coltinster) I have seen things that would make even an experienced adventurer like this youngster here weep in a corner for days.

        Sora and Kairi glanced at one another. Sora frowned. “Did you say, ‘fifty winters’? Master Yen Sid really looks a lot older than that.”

Doctor: Ah, about that… Yen Sid wrecked his body pretty bad with drugs and alcohol when he was younger. He’s actually in his thirties.

        “Hm…really? I thought he would only be around thirty by now.”

        Sora, Kairi, and Rainbow Dash all glanced at one another. “Are you sure you’re fifty?” the blue pegasus of the trio asked.

Ditzy: He’s just like the Doctor,  he never gives a straight answer about his age.

Doctor: I do not.

        “Give or take a few years,” Coltinster answered,

Doctor: When you get this old, it’’s hard to keep an accurate passage of time.

“but enough about me. If you’d like to know more, just mention ‘Shadowdale’ to Yen Sid.

Ditzy: Is this a reference to something?

Doctor: (Shrugs) Beats me.

Now, what are your names?” he asked, looking specifically at Sora and Kairi as he said it.

Doctor: Here we go, they are going to insist on telling him their life story!

        “I’m Sora, this is Kairi, and the filly over there is my little sister, Rei.”

      “I take it that you were all human before you arrived here,” Coltinster remarked. Sora noted that the way he said it made it much more a statement than a question. When he cocked his head to the side inquiringly, Coltinster continued. “If you had been something different, it’s likely that Equestria itself might have allowed you to keep your form.

Ditzy: Is that how that works?

Doctor: I’m still confused why Donald and Goofy never change when they enter a world full of humans.

No matter, no matter, so you’re pegasi now, hmm? How does it feel to be unable to use magic?”

        Kairi’s eyes widened. “We can’t use magic?”

Ditzy: (KairI) Great, now I am going to lose a fortune on healing potions!

        “Of course not! Only unicorns and alicorns can actually use magic in Equestria.

Ditzy: Duh, that’s what the horns are for. Not using it as a pointy weapon.

The magic of pegasi and earth ponies are simply inherent abilities, such as the ability of pegasi to move clouds and create weather effects, or an earth pony’s connection to the earth that helps crops grow faster and ripen quicker.”

Doctor: (Sighs) Didn’t we establish this last chapter?

        “We can’t use magic!?” Kairi repeated. Sora could practically feel her panic setting in as she raised a hoof in front of her face.

Ditzy: (Kairi) I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden .I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden. I’m not a burden .I’m not a burden.

“Fire!”

Doctor: Can’t you wait until you’re outdoors before doing this?

        No fireball began to crackle merrily above her hoof.

        “Blizzard!”

        Still nothing.

        “Thunder! Water! Aero! Sing now the hymn of the phoenix, the eternal fires of heaven and—OW! Sora! What was that for?”

Doctor: (Sora) If that spell succeeded it would have destroyed half of the ballroom and us with it!

        Sora snorted impatiently and lowered his hoof after whacking his girlfriend on the back of the head with it. “Kairi, if not even our simplest spells are working, what makes you think that Skyfyre would work?

Doctor: (Kairi) I was channeling the power of ancient demons from the depths of hell itself to fuel the spell!

        Kairi continued rubbing the back of her head and pouted. “I’m sorry, but I was panicking. You know how much I use both magic and the Keyblade when fighting.”

Ditzy: (Sora) Thank goodness. Maybe I can avoid having my hair lit on fire for once.

        Sora sighed. “Well, at least we know this now and didn’t discover it in a fight.” The words had hardly left his mouth before he started wanting to kick himself. He could feel Roxas mentally doing the same.

        Could you be any dumber?

Doctor: (Sora) Why didn’t we ask about this sooner!?

        “Open mouth, insert foot. Open mouth, insert foot. Open mouth, insert foot,” he grumbled to himself. A few seconds passed and Sora looked up and around. Heartless had yet to appear. All was still well. “Woo-hoo! And Murphy’s Law has been disproven.”

Doctor: I demand a larger sample size!

        And… Roxas drawled in anticipation, wait for it…Heartless! Sora glanced around. There was still no sign of the denizens of darkness. Huh, I guess you really did disprove Murphy’s Law.

 Doctor: (Sora) Wait until the Destiny Island’s scientific community hears about this! It’s the find of the century!

       “Sora-nii-chan?”

        He looked down at Rei as she trotted towards him. “What is it Rei?”

        “Um, well, do you think I could go visit Trixie?” she asked.

Doctor: It’s in Trixie’s contract to be in every single chapter from now on.

“I think she might be a little lonely, being all by herself in the hospital part of the castle while the rest of us are here.” Sora smiled at her and rubbed her blonde mane with a hoof.

Doctor: I suppose you could at least give her a piece of cake.

Rei shied away slightly at the gesture, but laughed through it all the same.

        “Go ahead,” he agreed. “I think she might like that.”

Ditzy: Doubt it. I got the feeling she really hates foals.

        Rei beamed. “Thank you onii-chan!” Rainbow Dash snorted as the filly galloped off.

Doctor: (Rainbow) Is this really such a good idea? She’ll get fleas too! Grrr...Stupid fleas!

        “Obviously you don’t know The Great and Powerful Trixie,” she disagreed. “I doubt she’d really be happy to see a little filly right now.”

Ditzy: (Rainbow) And it really creeps me out how she keeps gibbering to herself.

        “You don’t know that Rainbow Dash,” Kairi told the other pegasus. “Besides, wasn’t she a performer? Wouldn’t she like having the attention of a kid?”

Ditzy: Doctor?

Doctor: Yes.

Ditzy: Does ‘kid’ mean foal in human?

Doctor: It does.

Ditzy: Oh, that makes sense.

        Applejack came over to their group. “Ah don’t know Kairi,” she said. “Trixie wasn’t too fond of Snips and Snails being her adoring fans.”

Ditzy: It didn’t stop her from using and abusing them as much as she wanted.

        Coltinster began stroking his beard with a hoof. “Pardon my asking,” he broke in again, “but what brings Keyblade Wielders to Equestria?”

        “We’re gathering the Guardians of Magic,” Sora answered simply,

Ditzy: Uh, no. That isn’t the reason at all.

“but you might know them as the Keepers of the Art.” Coltinster’s eyes widened. The pony’s face suddenly dropped into a serious expression.

Doctor: (Coltinster) Are you complete mad?

        “For what reason?” His voice was flat, but his eyes burned. He advanced slowly when Sora and Kairi did not immediately answer, and his voice rose just as slowly as his steps; the tone grew out of deadpan towards borderline malice. “I hope it isn’t for using them in order to locate or summon powerful artefacts of magic from days long past that are better left forgotten,

Doctor: You’d be surprised how many ancient doomsday weapons are lying around if you know where to look.

or to clear out the sacred halls of those long dead to plunder their secrets, or wage war on the heavens and gods themselves, because if it is, I’ll have to take measures to ensure the safety of my former student.”

Ditzy: (Coltinster) To think one of Yen Sid’s students would go evil!

        Not once had he shouted, but Sora was almost quivering beneath those smouldering eyes as if the old pony had been bellowing loudly enough to put him into a coma.

Ditzy: Hey, I have seen the look from you before Doctor.

Doctor: Sometimes you need to put these young fools in their place.

C’mon Sora, he pep-talked to himself, pull it together! You’ve fought Xemnas, two Titans, Cerberus, crossed blades with Sephiroth, and fought the God of the Dead. He’s just a unicorn! Man up!

Doctor: You are an idiot.

Ditzy: Sora, have you ever heard of the ‘Old Master’ trope?

Doctor: Rule #1:Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men.

        Suddenly he saw Coltinster as an opponent,

Ditzy: He is soooo entering a world of hurt soon.

and he dropped his face into the serious expression he unconsciously always took on whenever Heartless reared their heads. “No,” he declared. “We’re gathering them so that someone else can’t.”

Doctor: Yes, and making it easy for them to fall into the wrong hands, you dolt!

        “And perhaps threaten the whole universe by having them all at your fingertips?” Coltinster pressed.

Doctor: (Sora) I'm the God! I AM THE GOD! Bwahahaha!

        “Lay off Sora!” Kairi snapped.

Ditzy: (Kairi) Sure he never plans anything, has the IQ of a rock, is completely gullible, and is really easily to manipulate, but he’s doing his best!

“We’re getting them to prevent our enemies from doing the same; guys who are using the Heartless to get what they want. There, you happy now?”

Doctor: Sure, what could possible go wrong with this plan?

        “Heartless?” Coltinster asked. “You mean the Shadows?”

Ditzy: He’s heard of the Keyblade, but not the Heartless?

Doctor: (Shrugs) It happens.

        A familiar dreadful sound entered Sora’s ears

Doctor: Kairi’s nagging.

and he turned around. He flattened his ears and glared at the whorls of darkness that were now appearing in the room.

Ditzy: Whorls?

Doctor: He means spirals. It seems someone has been playing around with a thesaurus.

Pinkie Pie and Spike both screamed as a Soldier appeared out of one of them, clacking in its iron-shod boots and helmet.

Doctor: (Pinkie) Ah! So that’s what eye twitch, then ear flop means!

More Soldiers popped out of the others, and two of the Heartless were a kind he hadn’t seen before.

Ditzy: Oh, pony heartless!

They were about twice the size of the ponies, and mostly coloured black as the mantle of the night sky. Their transparent bodies had the pinpricks of shining red stars within them, and they had the bodies of bears with unicorn horns. Dark purple spines pierced their backsides from the base of the neck to their stubby tails. Eyes of malevolent yellow shone from their heads, and the Heartless emblem was emblazoned just beneath the horn. One Draco Ursa hissed at Sora, revealing a forked tongue between rows of sharp canines.

Ditzy: Or something like that…

Doctor: Certainly a fierce sounding creature.

“We mean these guys,” Sora said.

Ditzy: Finally something is happening!

-G-M-

Ditzy: Oh come on!

Doctor: It’s hard to be surprised at this point.

Shorter chapter,

Dinky: Which is why you are doing another chapter.

Doctor: What?!

Ditzy: Why? You never did that before!

Dinky: You had it coming for trying to escape!

All: Ponyfeathers!

and we get a bit of a cliffhanger here, don’t we? Well, at least things are heating up in Equestria.

Ditzy: At...least we aren’t ending on a cliffhanger?

Doctor: That is not much of a consolation.

May the Grace of the Valar Protect You

Shire Folk

To be continued...

Next Chapter: Episode 5 - Part 2 - Guardians of Magic - Chapter 5 Estimated time remaining: 27 Hours, 59 Minutes