Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater

by Rixizu

Episode 13 - Part 5

Chapter 1- A Royal Morning

The sun washed over my face, waking my up from a sound sleep.

Doctor: (Star) Do you smell something cooking?

“Ugh, fine. I'll get up.” I mumbled and rolled out of bet, my feet hitting the ground.

Ditzy: After a ten foot drop.

Doctor: (Star) How many times have I told you I want nothing to do with your prank war Luna!

I yawned and stretched. “Hopefully, Celestia  doesn't have us do much today...”

Doctor: (Star) Knowing my luck it will be some boring meeting about zoning.

I thought as I moved to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Oh yeah. I'm Starlight, prince of Equestria and brother to Celestia and Luna. I'm a human alicorn.

Doctor: A humanicorn if you will.

I hadn't always looked like me,

Ditzy: (Star) I used to be a kangaroo.

but I had been cursed to stay in this form when I was young. But that's another story...

Doctor: Luck for us this isn’t Guardians of Magic, so it won’t spend five or six paragraphs reexplaining it.

In the bathroom, I splashed some water on my face, trying to wake myself up. “Man, that was a rough night...”

Ditzy: (Star) I am never going to have a drinking contest against Rainbow Dash ever again!

I stared at the six cutie marks on my left hand and sighed, rubbing the hand. “Stupid nightmares...”

Ditzy: (Star) I had the one where I was dressed like a chicken trying to fight off Nightmare Moon with a banana.

You're probably wondering why I have six cutie marks on my hand.

Doctor: You stole them from ponies and stitched them on your arm?

Well, it turns out that I have a rare magical ability called the Cutie Stamp.

Doctor: ™.

It copies that ponies cutie mark and creates a copy on the one with the ability. After that, it can be used to cast strange and interesting magic based on that cutie mark.

Ditzy: Supposively anyway.

Doctor: Interesting is stretching it.

For example, whenever I used Rainbow Dash's cutie mark, I gained incredible speed. I'm sure there's other perks, but I haven't found them all.

Ditzy: Gotta collect them all!

So far, I have all of the Elements of Harmony's cutie marks.

Doctor: (Star) I got them at a flea market.

On my right hand I had a star on my hand, surrounded by a sun and a moon, trails of light surrounding it. That was when I had Cutie Stamped my sisters at my coronation. That had been a hell of a day.

Ditzy: (Star) I defeated an all powerful, evil alicorn while making a sweat one-liner.

I sighed and raised my head from the sink, looking at myself in the mirror. I inspected my blue eyes, seeing small bags under my eyes. “Man, I might need to take a nap later.” I ran a hand through my brown hair.

Ditzy: Oh my goodness… the author just described something of what Star looks like!

Doctor: It’s a Hearth's Warming miracle!

“Wonder if I could dye it with magic?”

Ditzy: No! You will get rid of the one distinct thing we know about you!

I stepped back and shrugged, pleased with myself.

Doctor: (Star) Damn I’m good looking.

Done with being in the bathroom, I left it and walked back into my room. “Alright, time to get out there.”

Doctor: (Star) I have a full shift waiting for me at Wacky Hut.

I ran a comb through my hair really fast and ruffled my wings, making sure they weren't sprained. I had slept wrong on them one night

Ditzy: I hate when that happens.

and able to fly for half a week.

Doctor: ‘Wasn’t able’ you mean?

“Hmm, they feel fine to me. Rainbow'll probably tell me if they're messed up.”

Doctor: (Rainbow) Hmm….hmmm… I’m sorry Prince, but it doesn’t look good. You might not be able to fly ever again.

Ditzy: (Star) What?!

Doctor: (Rainbow) Bwahaha! Just kidding, why are you coming to me? I’m not a doctor.

I held my right hand out, concentrating. After about a second, a dark blue sword materialized in my hand. I closed my hand over it and smiled. This was my weapon Stormtide. I wasn't sure just how I had received this sword, but it hadn't failed me yet. I was glad to have it. De-summoning the sword,

Doctor: If you didn’t need it, why did you summon it?

Ditzy: To check if it is still there?

I slipped into a green shirt and a pair of jeans.

Ditzy: Wow, the author is actually describing things to us now.

Doctor: I’m starting to feel overwhelmed.

“Alright, let's go see what today's gonna bring.” I said, leaving my room.

Ditzy: Don’t say that, you’ll jinx it!

. . .

When I reached the dining room, I saw Celestia sitting down eating.

Doctor: (Star) Cake for breakfast?

Ditzy: (Celestia) Of course, it’s part of balanced diet.

“Hey Celestia.” I said, walking over and giving her a quick hug. “Where's Luna?”

Ditzy: (Celestia) She’s at this new store called Hot Topic. She was rather excitible.

“You just missed her.” Celestia said. “She's going to lay down for a little while.”

Ditzy: (Celestia) She’s been up all morning gaming.

“Oh.” I sat next to my sister. “So what's on the plan for today?”

Celestia thought for a moment. “I have to attend some meeting later today, but I didn't have much planned. Weren't you going to visit Ponyville today?”

Ditzy: (Celestia) And leaving your sister behind to waste away in the castle as usual.

“Yeah, but not until I finished anything that I needed to do.” I said.

“Hmmm.” My sister sat for a minute longer.

Doctor: (Celestia) Well… if you insist, the chandeliers need cleaning.

“Well, I'm going to say now that you should be alright for the day. If I really need you, I can send a letter through Spike.

“That's cool with me.” I stood up, extending my wings.

Celestia looked at me. “You aren't going to eat?”

I shook my head. “Nah. I woke up last night and chowed. I'll be alright until lunch.”

Ditzy: (Celestia) No, you get your flank over here right now. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and I will not have you skip it.

“Alright.” I gave Celestia a hug. “Let me know if you decide to stay in Ponyville for a few days.”

Doctor: She gave a knowing smile.

“You got it.” I said.  I walked over to one of the windows, opened it, and jumped out, extending my wings to catch the air and fly towards Ponyville.

Ditzy: Wait, what so royal about that mourning?

Doctor: That was one of the most banal, ordinary mornings I have ever seen.

. . .

The flight wasn't very eventful, but I did tend to stay rather high in the air, above the clouds so I wouldn't be easily seen.

Doctor: He was paranoid of snipers.

I had been regularly visiting Ponyville after the incident with Gilda, but ponies still freaked out when I came by.

Ditzy: (Star) At least ponies don’t think I belong in a zoo anymore.

Sure, I might be royal, but I don't wanna act it all the time.

Doctor: Royal, I’m sure.

I flew up a little higher. My lungs couldn't handle the altitude as well as pegasi, being human lungs,

Ditzy: Makes sense.

so Twilight and I had spent a few weeks trying to work on a spell that would help with that.

Doctor: (Star) I somehow ended up with gills.

We decided on a spell that would draw air towards me and create a sort of barrier so that I'd have enough to breathe. It was a rough spell, but it worked for now.

Ditzy: Hey, maybe he’ll find some use for this in battle.

All: (Laughs)

Doctor: That’s a good one.

Ditzy: Yeah right.

As I flew, I saw Cloudsdale in the distance. “Wait, I think Rainbow works today.” I remembered. “If I wanna see her now, guess I could swing by and say hi.” I banked to the right and continued on.

Ditzy: Um, Rainbow Dash doesn’t work in Cloudsdale.

It took a little more time, but I finally reached the floating city. I touched down and walked around, staring in awe at the place.

All: Oooooo, pretty!

I was in the central city of Cloudsdale, seeing large skyscrapers and buildings. There were quite the few ponies mingling and walking or flying around the area. I had landed on the sidewalk, and I moved into a more enclosed corner so that I could think for a moment.

Doctor: Only to get mugged.

“Great. Rainbow never told me where her job was...” I grumbled. I glanced around for a while and my eyes lit up as I say my friend Derpy

Ditzy: (Groans)

flying towards the west. “She can help! Plus, it's been a bit since we've talked.” In a flash, I extended my wings and flew after her.

Derpy might be ditzy at times, but that mare could fly.

Ditzy: Damn straight I can!

Doctor: Someone is fishing for compliments.

I didn't catch up to her until we were just about at her work.

Ditzy: All the way to the Ponyville Post Office?

“Derpy!” I called out.

She turned around and broke into a big smile. “Starlight!” She tackled me in a hug.

Ditzy: (Nods in approval)

“Oof!” I grunted,

Doctor: (Star) I think I will have bruises. That girl doesn’t know her own strength.

then returned the hug. “How are you?”

“I'm doing great!” She replied. “What about you? I haven't seen you for months, even when delivering mail.”

Ditzy: (Derpy) And you don’t return my text or voice messages!

I shrugged. “After that incident with Gilda, I've been really busy.

Doctor: Wait, what about the fact that you were kidnapped in the last book?

Ditzy: Is Book 3 not canon?

Have to get to know the rules and customs of Equestria, ya know.”

Ditzy: (Star) Luckily, Pinkie created a rap song to help me remember.

Derpy stuck her tongue out. “That sounds really boring.”

Ditzy: It’s times like this I am glad the author likes to skip details.

“Some days can be.” I said, playfully nudging her. “Hey, do you know where Rainbow's work is?

“Yeah. It's about a half a mile behind us.” She said.

Doctor: (Derpy) She works at that weird Rainbow Factory.

“Although, she isn't working today.”

“Really?” I asked. “How are you sure?”

Ditzy: (Derpy) She muttered something about there not being enough foals. Whatever that means.

“I asked her when she would be free so we could hang out. She said today.” Derpy said. “I can change it if you wanted to be with her. I know that it's been a while since you've seen her.”

Ditzy: (Derpy) Hint hint nudge nudge.

I  shook my head. “No, Derpy. I'm not gonna do that. I'll go visit her for a little bit, then I'll go visit everyone else in town.” I smirked. “After I spend a few minutes telling everypony to relax.”

Doctor: Have you ever thought of using your magic to disguise yourself as a normal pony? Celestia does it sometimes.

“Well you're royalty now, Star.” Derpy said. “Even if you don't wanna, you still have to play the part.”

Doctor: (Derpy) Maybe you should get a scepter with your face on it.

I nodded. “Sorry, but I gotta run! See you later!” In an instant, Derpy flew away.

Ditzy: Even if they got my name wrong, it’s nice to see me not depicted as a muffin obsessed idiot for once.

Doctor: Small mercies.

I smiled and turned towards the distance. It was time to go visit my marefriend.

Ditzy: Wait...that’s it?

Doctor: It seems so.

Ditzy: What is the point of starting a story if you are only going to do one chapter of it?

Doctor: I’m glad we never got to learn what “To Love and to Lust” means.

Ditzy: (Nods) Definitely dodged a bullet there.

Doctor: Let’s get out of here.

Ditzy: Wait a minute!

Doctor: What?

Ditzy: We never got to learn who that shadowy silhouette guy is!

Doctor: Does it matter?

Ditzy: Well...no, but it still would be nice to know! (Grumbles) Now it is going to bug me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh, what are you working on?” The Doctor trotted up to Ditzy who was sitting on a table writing something in the main meeting room. The table was full of papers. Ditzy was writing on one of those papers with her month not her hands. Ditzy looked up and saw the amused expression on his face. Ditzy supposed she did look comical like this. What was she suppose to do? She tried using her hands, but that ended up in miserable failure. Ditzy had no idea how humans did it.

          Ditzy turned to the Doctor. “Well, I thought it might be a neat idea to finish the Starlight Saga in one final epic story.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow at this. “Really? Why?”

“It’s just a shame that it was unfinished.” Ditzy gave a wide grin.

“Ah, so many stories left untold right?” He said wryly. “So, have you decided on who that silhouetted figure is yet?”

Ditzy brightened. “I have! He’s an evil three horned Alicorn that was deposed, with your help, by the Princesses and wants back his rightful place as King of Equestria.”

“King?”

“Yeah, but he was a tyrant that ruled Equestria with an iron hoof. He believed in the supremacy of Alicorns and normal ponies are trash that needs to be controlled without mercy or pity.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. “I’m in this story?”

Ditzy smiled. “A little bit. I thought it would be fun to add you as a minor character.”

The Doctor pondered this for a moment then looked suspicious. “There isn’t any romance involving me in this story is there?”

Ditzy gave a forced laughed while trying to hide a piece of paper. “Oh course not.”

Ditzy had written and an admittedly steamy part between him and Pinkie Pie that went a little further then she expected. “Celestia, I’ve been without a coltfriend for too long.” Ditzy thought in a deprecating tone.  “As soon as I get out of here, I’m confessing my feeling to Spike. That tart Rarity will not get in my way.” She thought with conviction.

“Really?” The Doctor said doubtfully.

“Really.” Ditzy said evenly. Ditzy really wished that she was a better liar.

The Doctor looked at her for a moment, but gave in and changed the subject. “So why three horns?”

“He has a birth condition that gives him that. It doesn’t actually make him stronger or anything, but he has it in his head that makes him superior to everypony else.” The Doctor and Ditzy had a laugh at this, those silly villains and their undeserved, overinflated egos. “I still haven’t thought of a good name for him yet though.”

The Doctor started pitching names, but Ditzy didn’t like any of them. “How about Tiny the Terrible?” The Doctor suggested.

“Doctor, that’s just silly.” Ditzy chastised. “I want him to have a more serious name than that.” Ditzy wanted her villain to be taken at least a little bit seriously. The Doctor opened his mouth, but Ditzy stopped him before he said anything. “Don’t worry about. I’ll think of something.”

“I’ll just leave you to it then.” The Doctor said his goodbyes and left the room.

Ditzy turned back to her writing. She wondered if there was a way to include a motorcycle race and a duel with chainsaws.

She brought a Ursa Minor into Ponyville and wasn't able to control it.” Twilight said.

Next Chapter: Episode 14 - The Beginning of the End - Chapter 1 Estimated time remaining: 19 Hours, 24 Minutes