Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater

by Rixizu

Episode 13 - Part 4

Chapter 4-The End of Pretending

Doctor: That the author still cares about this story.

Rainbow flew toward Twilight's house, worried. Starlight and her were supposed to hang out at the race track on Cloudsdale about 3 hours ago.

Doctor: And in Rainbow Dash time that was like 18 hours!

But, she hadn't seen him since yesterday. Rainbow knew that Starlight was busy,

Doctor: With...what exactly? It isn’t like he goes to school.

Ditzy: Prince stuff I guess.

but he was never late to anything without at least arriving and explaining if he would have to cancel. “I bet Twilight roped him into doing some magic experiments.” she fumed. “And he's so considerate that he won't ask to leave.”

Doctor: (Star) What are you doing with that drill?!

Ditzy: (Twilight) Oh this? I want to see what’s in that head of yours. Don’t worry! I plan on using Anesthesia. It won’t hurt a bit!

Doctor: (Star) Oh… If it’s for science, then I guess it’s ok.

Rainbow shook her head. “He's like Fluttershy, except that he looks like a human and carries a sword.”

Ditzy: So not like her at all then.

As Twilight's house came into view, she shot toward it.

Landing, she knocked on the door, Twilight answering. “Hello, Rainbow. What's going on?”

Doctor: (Twilight) And how many times do I have to tell ponies this is a public library so they don’t need to knock.

Rainbow slightly tilted her head. “Hey, Twi. Is the prince here?”

Twilight shook her head, “Nope, he left with Princess Luna after I had a little “incident' with Trixie.”

Doctor: (Twilight) I was too busy yesterday setting up hidden cameras around Ponyville to notice him. I spent the entire night watching Trixie sleep to make sure she didn’t try anything.

Ditzy: (Rainbow) Twilight...you’re starting to scare me.

Rainbow turned around, thinking. “Why such a big deal, Dash?

Ditzy: Twilight, Starlight is a minor. You should be worried about his location. Didn’t Princess Celestia make you his caretaker?

You act like you have to know where he is all the time.”

Doctor: (Twilight) I’m starting to think Star needs a restraining order.

“What makes you think that?” Rainbow asked, whipping around to face Twilight.

“Well,” Twilight slightly hesitated. “Ever since what happened with Gilda, you're with him all the time.”

Ditzy: Well, he is going through a hard time. He’s still traumatised over killing somepony.

Rainbow paled, hoping her friend didn't notice. “I-I just like to hang out with him.”

Ditzy: (Rainbow) He’s the only pony I know that has a PS4.

“Are you sure it isn't anything else?” Twilight asked with a smile.

Ditzy: (Rainbow) I’m not sleeping with him!

Doctor: (Twilight) Uh, what?

Ditzy: (Rainbow) Er, what I mean is I only think of him as a friend.

“No.” Rainbow said as calm as she could. “Sorry to rush Twilight, but I need to go. See you later.” She lifted off and flew in the direction of Cloudsdale.

Doctor: (Rainbow) Phew, I don’t think she suspects a thing.

…

Twilight shook her head as the pegasus flew off. “There's something she's not telling about her and Starlight, but it's not my business.”

Ditzy: (Twilight) Her face was red the entire time, I wonder if she is coming down with something.

Shutting the door, she turned to return to her book when she heard a knock today. “Hmm, wonder why I'm so popular today.” she said.

Doctor: (Twilight) The library is lucky to get 3 or 4 patrons a day!

Opening the door, she saw Trixie standing there. “Oh, hello Trixie.”

Doctor: (Twilight) Just who I wanted to see to brighten my day.

“Surely you haven't forgotten our outing today, Twilight.” The blue unicorn said. “You said that you would help me gather some herbs in the Everfree Forest to use for my magic.”

Ditzy: Oh, you have an embarrassing condition and don’t want Twilight to know about it.

Twilight inwardly sighed, remembering that she had indeed said that.

Ditzy: (Twilight) How much did I drink last night to say that?

Now Twilight was still upset with Trixie for what had happened with Spike, but she never broke her word.

Doctor: (Twilight) It gives me the perfect chance to interrogate Trixie undisturbed. Hehehe.

“Sure, Trixie. Are you ready to go?”

Ditzy: (Trixie) Um, Trixie can’t but notice you are bringing an unusually large amount of things to just pick herbs.

Doctor: (Twilight) Oh Trixie, don’t worry your silly little head over that.

“Yes!”, she exclaimed. “Let's head out to the forest!” Twilight quickly checked on Spike, who was sleeping and left the house with Trixie.

Ditzy: (Twilight) Perfect. No witnesses.

…

Princess Luna was sitting with her sister, Celesta in the dining room. “So, were you able to diffuse the situation in Ponyville?” Celestia asked.

Doctor: (Luna)(Dejected) No, Stary took care of it before I could. We really wanted to show off after regaining our powers.

Luna nodded. “Starlight had it taken care of before I arrived. He passed out from the strain, so I gave him a little of my power.”

Celestia nodded as they sat in silence for a while. “Sister, Starlight is not immortal, is he?”

Doctor: Why does everyone think that is a bad thing? Immortality isn’t that great a deal.

Celestia nodded as Luna continued. “Then it is as worse as I thought. I've been having, nightmares.

Ditzy: Huh, who protects Princess Luna from dreams?

 About me....letting her back in.”

Doctor: (Luna) Do thee have any idea of how much of a horrible roommate she is!? She never cleans, is always late on her part of the rent, snores, lays around the apartment all day, plays never ending loud music, and holds random parties without tell me! The mare is a menace!

“Don't worry.” Celestia said. “That will never happen again. Starlight can more then handle her.”

Ditzy: Given his track record….well...

“Stop putting everything on him!” Luna suddenly snapped.

Ditzy: Yeah, seriously! It’s like everypony expects him to do everything!

Doctor: It’s tough being a Sue character.

Celesta’s eyes widened, but she remained quiet. “We are expecting too much of him! He even told me today how he doesn't understand how he is supposed to be so strong!

Doctor: Maybe if you actually taught him something....

We should be the ones fighting Nightmare, not Starlight! He needs time to mature his magic.”

Doctor: (Luna) At least give him a few centuries!

“Are we sure that is isn't already mature?” Celestia asked softly,

Ditzy: (Celestia) He’s already started smoking. What is more stalliony and mature than that?

knowing how Luna could be when she was upset. “You've seen what he can do!

Doctor: That’s what we are afraid of.

“You can't look at him in a fight and honestly think that he planned every spell he was going to use.” Luna said. “He was still in panic mode for all of the marks he had!

Ditzy: (Luna) We fired wildly destroying everything in his path!

This isn't fair to him!” As Celestia looked at her with love, the princess of the night looked down.

Doctor: (Luna) You are the worst Princess.

“Luna.” Celestia said, walking over and hugging her sister. “I want nothing more then for Starlight to be safe.

Doctor: (Celestia) But I think recklessly throwing him into danger is the best for him.

“Then why isn't he here?” Luna asked. “We are here, we could keep him safe.”

Ditzy: (Luna) This is one of the reasons we made that safe house deep in the frozen tundra in the first place!

A realization suddenly came to her. “It's me, isn't it? You're afraid that if I tried to fight Nightmare, I would give in again.”

Doctor: The lure of a free watch and pen might be too much.

Celestia took a deep breath and looking into the eyes of  her sister. “Luna, I was never sure how much of Nightmare's influence was left on you when the Elements of Harmony freed you.

Ditzy: The manic laughter Luna gave off sometimes when happy didn’t help much.

I couldn't think of anyway to keep you safe.”

Luna sighed. “Don't worry about me sister. We need to give Starlight the choice to where he wants to be.

Doctor: Let him be the ballerina he’s always wanted to be.

Putting him virtually on the front lines isn't truly fair.”

Doctor: At least give him more than a shirt for protection.

“That was a mistake on my part.” Celestia said. “I need to tell him the truth. I will go write a letter to Twilight....”

Ditzy: Now maybe Spike can finally enter the story. It’s complete forgotten him until now.

Suddenly all the lights in the room went out, then lit back up with a strange blue tone.

Doctor: Don’t be so dramatic. It’s just the emergency lights.

A swirling cloud of darkness appeared in front of the two princesses then dispersed, revealing none other then Nightmare Moon. As the two sisters gasped and prepared to blast Nightmare into oblivion,

Ditzy: Huh, so I guess they don’t need Star after all.

she stopped them by holding up her hoof. “Unless you wish to never see your brother again, you probably should calm your magic.”

Ditzy: Unfortunately, they shot her down before she could finish that sentence.

Celestia barely stopped her spell as Luna's spell shot forward and struck the dark alicorn in the shoulder. Nightmare yawned, “Hmm, I'll have to hurt your brother for that one.”

Doctor: (Nightmare) Have you ever heard of… The Cake Song!

“Where is he?!” Luna yelled.

Ditzy: (Nightmare) In the ruins of the Castle of the Two Sis..doh!

“Oh you relax.” Nightmare said, sitting. “He's fine...for now. I really came to talk to you two.”

Doctor: (Nightmare) Have a nice chat over a cup of tea.

“What could you want?” Celestia said, barely keeping her composure.

Ditzy: She started fidgeting and her eye twitched.

“Well, I could go on about how I want eternal night and all that, but I want something different. You see, night is good and all but I've been finding myself rather enjoying the daytime.

Ditzy: (Nightmare) I have developed an affinity for beach volleyball.

So, I want you and Luna over there to give up your positions as rulers and hand it over to me.” Nightmare explained.

Doctor: (Celestia) Ok.

Ditzy: (Luna and Nightmare) What!?

Doctor: (Celestia) I have been looking for an excuse to give up the throne for years! Acapulco here I come!

“You can't really believe that would happen.” Luna scoffed. “Besides, you don't have the strength to raise the sun.”

Ditzy: (Nightmare) I could if I wanna!

“I might not, but I believe little Starlight does. Or maybe it was my imagination that saw the sun on his hand? Kinda looks like that.” At this, she pointed at Celesta’s cutie mark.

“He doesn’t know how to use it.” Celesta said, struggling.

Ditzy: She was foaming at the mouth and ready to charge.

“He will.” Nightmare turned her back on the alicorns. “Oh by the way..” she started. “In case you're thinking that he'll just be able to escape me, remember this. You two might be immortal, but I don't think that Starlight's there yet.”

Ditzy: Ha! The Doctor and I aren’t immortal and we escape all the time!

Laughing, the dark clouds swirled around her and she disappeared.

Luna unfurled her wings. “We need to go help him, sister!”

Celestia nodded, “Stay here, Luna. I will go help him.”

Ditzy: Alright! Celestia is going to go and kick flank!

Doctor: Finally.

Luna quickly flew out the door before Celestia reached it. “No. Ponies will wonder if you suddenly just leave the castle.

Ditzy: I don’t know. Just tell them you need milk or something.

It won't be a problem if I go and take care of this.”

Doctor: (Luna) You’re a princess and a ruler! You shouldn’t be going out doing exciting things!

Celestia slowly nodded.

All: (Sighs) Nevermind.

“Good luck, Luna.”

Doctor: Well that was easy.

Ditzy: I thought she was worried about Nightmare Moon’s influence.

As her sister flew off, Celestia ran toward her room. She needed to write a letter.

Ditzy: To A.K. Yearling, it was about a cool slash fanfic she wrote about Daring Do.

Ditzy: So that’s it?

Doctor Seems so. I figured this would happen.

Ditzy: Writer’s block. The destroyer to many stories. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted.

Doctor: Now it is time for…(sighs) The Legend of Starlight-Book 4: To Love and to Lust…

Ditzy: Did the author write a porno spoof of The Legend of Starlight?

All: …

Ditzy: Dear Celestia! What have we gotten ourselves into!?

Doctor: (Groans) Oh boy…

Dinky: Don’t worry. It isn’t what you think. I won’t do that to you.

All: (Sighs in relief)

Dinky: It’s still terrible though.

Doctor: That was kinda a given.

Ditzy: It is still better than the alternative.

Next Chapter: Episode 13 - Legend of Starlight - Book 4 - Part 1 Estimated time remaining: 19 Hours, 35 Minutes