Warning. This chapter is very long. This chapter of Guardians of Magic I am riffing is over 13,000 words. So you might want to get comfortable. Maybe get a sandwich and/or a some relaxing tea. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I liked writing it.

If you have a fanfic recommendation, comments, or criticisms please leave a comment or PM me at my fimfiction account or my blog on Tumblr. Please NO clop or fanfiction with extreme violence. I am not going to do those. I want to do a more family friendly series and it is going to be relatively clean. Besides everyone else does them. Okay, I might do one for a special occasion. But otherwise no clop or extreme gore fics. Ok, enough rambling. On with the fic!

Special thanks to Shire Folk for letting me use his story.

Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater

by Rixizu

Episode 3

Ditzy flew through the air with a practiced grace. She didn’t do any tricks like Rainbow Dash would. She just flew through the air without a care in the world. Despite what many ponies may say about her, Ditzy is actually a very skilled flier. Because of her eyes, occasional clumsiness, and horrible sense of direction, many ponies assume she has the flying skills of a drunken cow. At flight school she actually ranked fairly high in her class despite the occasional screw-up.  

The garden had a very spacious area perfect for flying. This was good; Ditzy would have gone stir crazy if she didn’t get a chance to fly regularly. She loved to fly. The feel of rushing air and wind through her wings and hair always made her happy. While the garden area may be big, some ponies may call it gigantic, it still wasn’t large enough for her liking. The lack of birds and other animals also depressed her somewhat. She, like Fluttershy, loves animals, and would often join her for bird watching on her days off.

Ditzy landed on the ground gently. Truthfully, while Ditzy is sometimes clumsy, she rarely crashes. Rainbow Dash, the greatest flyer in Equestria supposedly, crashes way more than she ever does and to a degree Ditzy found quite worrying. But for some reason, ponies assume she is the one of the two that is prone to crashes. Ditzy stretched her wings and folded them.

“I wonder what the Doctor is up to.” Ditzy thought while making her way to the exit of the garden.  “He’s most likely still working on that strange escape device of his.”

The Doctor had been working on it for the last week and half. He rarely ever took a break. He always got like this when he put his mind on something. The device was certainly a sight to behold. It took up two rooms and it looked like the Doctor wasn’t stopping there. What that monstrous thing did Ditzy couldn’t possibly tell. It was so complicated that looking at it made her head hurt. She wasn’t quite convinced the Doctor knew what this thing was suppose to do.

Ditzy strolled in the Doctor’s workroom.

To say it was a mess would be an extreme understatement. Tools and parts littered the floor in an indiscernible pattern and the Doctor’s device took up most of the room. There was almost no room to walk at all. Ditzy consider that this must be what some ponies called organized chaos.

                “Doctor?” Ditzy called out. She couldn’t tell where he is.

“Yes?” A muffled reply said. The Doctor popped out a small open area in that monstrous device he was working on.

“There you are.” Ditzy noticed he was very messy. His mane was unkempt and he was covered in grease. “The experiment is going to start soon. In about 20 minutes. “

“Really?” The Doctor said tone that was both surprised and amused. “Boy does time fly.”

“For somepony that has an hourglass for a cutie mark, you certainly are bad at keeping time Doctor.” Ditzy thought to herself.

“You might want to clean yourself up before the experiment.” Ditzy suggested.

                The Doctor looked at his companion curiously before looking at himself. “Oh dear. You might be right about that. See you in the jiffy.” The Doctor rushed out the room after saying this.

Ditzy just shook her head.  She wondered what he would do without her. When he got caught up in something, he often forgets to take care of himself. He often forgets little things like bathing, eating, and sleeping. Sure, he claims he doesn’t need to sleep much. But four and half hours of sleep a day doesn’t seem healthy. Though she couldn’t help but admire his enthusiasm and dedication. She sighed. Why can’t he put some of that energy into personal health and hygiene?

“Hello my little test subjects! It’s time for the latest experiment.” Mr. X now known as Dinky said in her usual distorted voice.

“Hi Dinky.” The Doctor and Ditzy said together in a bored tone.

“Please call me Mr. X. “

“No.” The Doctor responded simply.

“Dinky is a lot cuter.” Ditzy agreed.

Dinky didn’t say anything for a moment before giving out a resigned, “Fine.”

“What happened to Pinkie?” The Doctor asked in a stern tone.

Dinky gave out an evil laugh. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

The Doctor narrowed his eyes. “If you hurt her anyway I will make sure you regret it.” He said in an even, harsh tone.

Dinky actually gulped at this. The Doctor was always good at being intimidating when he wanted to be.

“Sh-she’s fine.” Dinky responded quickly. “I just sent her on her way.”

“Good.” The Doctor said simply.

“Anyway! Today’s experiment is…” Dinky said before Ditzy cut her off.

“This might seem a bit out of the blue, but I have a quick question.” Ditzy said with a smile. “What is your favorite type of muffin?” The Doctor looked at Ditzy incredulously.

         “It’s um…blueberry.” Dinky said in a surprisingly soft tone.

“Really? That’s mine too!” Ditzy said enthusiastically. “I will make you some after the experiment.”

“I would like that.” Dinky sounded happy. “Today’s experiment will be second chapter of Guardians of Magic by Shire Folk. Enjoy.”

The experiment alarm went off. “Muffins?” The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

“You have your escape plan. I have mine.” Ditzy said happily. The two rushed into the theater.

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And… here we go.

Ditzy: Over 13,000 words...Dear Celestia I don’t think I will be able to survive this!

Doctor: Why Shire Folk? Why?

Disclaimer: I don’t own it at all. Not My Little Pony, not Kingdom Hearts, not Prince, nuthin’.

Doctor: (Shire Folk) In fact, I live in a cardboard box by a river.

 -G-M-

Chapter Two: Never Seen That Before

        “But professor,” Daring Doo asked in bewilderment,

Ditzy: Don’t you mean Daring Do?

“what you’re talking about is beyond the realm of possibility. The Flare of Alzabad isn’t even substantially a well-known myth or legend. References to it over the past few centuries have been vaguer than obscure;

Ditzy: (Daring Do) It’s Ponypedia page is sparse and has few reliable sources.

it’s no Sapphire Statue of ancient Aztail ponies or ancestral Goblet of the Gryphon kings of old.”

Doctor: (Daring Do) Even the Knight Templar’s secret treasure has more evidence of its existence.

        “Precisely, Daring,” Professor Bitsworth replied, strangely still with a calm and sensible demeanor.

Ditzy: Despite the fact he wore a clown suit and had a rubber chicken in his hooves.

“The Flare of Alzabad is the object of highly obscure references, so much so that it almost appears as though the Flare itself is only a rumor even to the ponies who have written about it.  

Doctor: That obscure? Hardly seems worth pursuing.

However, I have uncovered that Alzabad the Wondrous’ legendary flare

Ditzy: Uh, it doesn’t seems like much of a legendary if barely anypony has even heard of it.

Doctor: I don’t think Professor Bitsworth knows what the word ‘legendary’ means.

has had at least four other names in its history, one of which being the Nebulus Horn.”

Ditzy: Uh, I don’t understand. How is a flare the same thing as a horn?

Doctor: Maybe it’s a mistranslation.

        Daring Doo’s magenta eyes bulged for a moment. She opened her mouth, almost shouting out her stunned question. “The Nebulus Horn is really the Flare of Alzabad?” The professor nodded confidently.

Ditzy: (Bitsworth) I didn’t get my doctorate out a strip mall for nothing!

        “I’m sure of it,” he answered her. “I’ve spent the last five months pouring over the writings of Hoofer, Gemstone, Quillton, Bayclop, Virgil, Eeyupidies, and Aristrotle, as well as over a dozen other scrolls written anonymously. I wouldn’t be telling you this if I were not one hundred percent convinced of my conviction. The similarities are too numerous when you look at them.

Doctor: What similarities exactly? You have been rather vague about that.

Alzabad the Wondrous’ remarkable Flare, that gave the unicorn the ability to—

Doctor: To understand any language, if it is written or said backwards.

Ditzy: The ability to change the color of any object to rainbow temporarily.

        Rainbow Dash looked up suddenly from her book, Daring Doo and the Wizard’s Flare, thinking that she heard an unfamiliar sound.

Ditzy: Big Mac was playing ‘In Your Eyes’ outside her window on a boombox.

The cyan pegasus swivelled her head around for a few seconds, eyes scanning the horizon for what might have caused it, if she weren’t just imagining it.

Doctor: It was just Pinkie with that flying...contraption of hers.

She was about to shrug and return eagerly to the exploits of her favourite adventurer when she heard the sound again. It was the faint call of trumpets, and it sounded like it was coming from Canterlot.

Doctor: Not actually from Canterlot hopefully, that would be silly.

        She looked towards the silhouette of the royal city sitting against the mountain in the distance and let out a soft gasp. “I haven’t seen that before,” she said, watching as the small forms of many chariots took into the air. Her eyes flicked back and forth between each individual dot. She’d never seen that many chariots before; she hadn’t thought that Canterlot even had that many.

Doctor: Celestia is taking the threat of the Heartless very seriously...even if it leaves the capital almost defenceless.  

Ditzy: I sure hope giant, magic cockatrices don’t attack again.

“Something big’s going down,” Rainbow muttered to herself. She stood up on the cloud she’d been lying down on, picked up her Daring Doo book in her mouth,

Ditzy: (Rainbow) I love the taste of Daring Do in the mourning.

and transferred it to her saddlebags. Getting them on, she looked once more at Canterlot, and noticed that a larger chariot than the others seemed to be heading in her direction.

        I’d better tell Twilight about this, she thought.

Doctor: (Rainbow) Princess Celestia has obviously gone mad and is trying to start the Solar Empire!

Flapping her wings, the fastest flier in Equestria took off and streaked for the Ponyville library. It certainly didn’t take her long until the large tree was in sight, and Rainbow Dash didn’t slow down a smidge as she made a flight for the door. “Incoming!” she shouted at the top of her lungs, noticing that the picture of a lit candle on the door was getting awfully close.

Doctor: It’s almost as if she wants severe head trauma when she keeps doing this.

        The top half of the door suddenly swung open just in time for Rainbow Dash to enter without completely busting the doors down, as she had done a few times before. She felt resistance behind her less than a second after entering the library, shelves and shelves of books arrayed in a circular pattern around the central reading room in the tree’s trunk. Rainbow Dash spared a glance behind at her tail, seeing that it was covered in a magenta glow as Twilight Sparkle used her magic to grasp hold of the pegasus and slow her down.

Ditzy: (Rainbow Dash) My spine! I can’t feel my legs anymore!

        “Whoa there Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said, gritting her teeth and digging her hooves into the wooden floor. She sighed as Rainbow came to a complete stop. “What’s the rush? Finished Daring Doo and the Wizard’s Flare already?

Ditzy: It turns out the Flare of Alzabad is really bell-bottoms.

I know it’s a hard one to put down, but you only got it out two days ago.”

Ditzy: (Twilight) I thought it would takes months given you reading capability.

        Rainbow Dash dropped onto her hooves. She shook her prismatic-haired head. “No Twilight, it’s not that, although the book is really good.”

        Twilight smiled excitedly. “Oh it’s good alright. The way that Daring figures out how the Nebulus Horn can be used to—”

        “Gyah!” Rainbow shouted, shoving a hoof into her friend’s mouth.

Doctor: Ugh, I hate it when ponies do that. A shhh will suffice.

“No spoilers Twilight! Don’t spoil this one like you did with Chamber of Spellfire.”

Ditzy: (Rainbow) And don’t me started on the ‘Harry Trotter and the Half-Blood Prince’ fiasco.

Rainbow Dash removed her hoof from Twilight’s mouth. Twilight giggled knowingly.

        “Alright, I won’t give any spoilers. So, what’s up?”

Ditzy: (Rainbow Dash) Me! Ha! Walked into that one!

        Rainbow Dash looked at her quizzically. “You mean you don’t know? Didn’t the Princess send you a letter or something?”

Doctor: Yeah, strange that.

        Twilight Sparkle’s forehead knitted together. “Spike! Did Princess Celestia send a letter today?” Spike walked into the room from where he’d been organizing the shipment of new quills and parchment that had just arrived.

Ditzy: And much to Twilight's annoyance, a new sofa.

Peewee sat perched on his shoulder.

        “Letter from Princess Celestia?” he asked. “Nope. Haven’t gotten one of those today. Derpy

Ditzy: (Groans) That’s not my name!

did come by with a letter for you though. Why? Is something wrong?”

        “I got a letter,” Twilight asked. “Who from?”

Doctor: (Spike) It says you may already be a winner.

        “Twilight, I really think you should…”

        “It’s from your brother,” Spike said, coming over to the unicorn with the letter in claw.

        “My brother!” Twilight gasped. “I got a letter from Shining Armor and you didn’t tell me right away?” The letter escaped Spike’s grasp as Twilight snatched it from him with her magic. She grabbed a letter opener with her telekinesis and slit the envelope open.

Ditzy: (Twilight) Maybe it’s Shining announcing that Cadance is having a foal. (Squees)

Rainbow Dash snorted in impatience. True, she’d never known that Twilight Sparkle even had a brother,

Doctor: I guess this takes place before the wedding.

but now was not the time to be reading letters from family! She couldn’t believe this. Princess Celestia hadn’t sent a letter to Twilight when it was clear that something major was going on? What in Equestria could have distracted her from sending a simple letter?

Doctor: Don’t be so hard on her. It’s Wednesday and she has bowling league today.

All the chariots in Canterlot had just flown out, by Celestia, and Rainbow Dash was going to make the egghead listen to her tell her what the Princess should have done already. She stomped a hoof down on the library’s hardwood floor

Ditzy: Causing her to accidentally fall through the floor.

and demanded the unicorn’s attention with a sharp bark of, “Twilight!”

        Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash with annoyance, just about to start reading the letter. “What’s this about, Rainbow?” Rainbow Dash facehoofed. She didn’t have time for this.

        “It looks like the entire Royal Guard is mobilizing!” she answered. “I saw more chariots than I even thought existed in Canterlot flying out of there, and it looked like one of them was on its way here.”

Doctor: (Twilight) Oh no...The Princess didn’t send me a letter….that means she didn’t want me to know that her guards were coming! They’ve come to bring me back to Canterlot in chains! She’ll put me on trial and of course the verdict will be guilty. I will be thrown in the deepest darkest dungeon the Princess can find. Or worse, banished from Equestria for the rest of my life! Faced to live with the shame of what I have done and nopony would ever befriend a horrible criminal like me. I will be forced to live in some remote location on top of a mountain or something all alone and unloved for the rest of my life!

Ditzy: (Spike whispering) She’s worried about the Princess finding out about all the movies she has pirated.

        A knocking sound came from the door. Rainbow Dash sighed in resignation. “Told ya.”

        “Rainbow Dash, you’re exaggerating,” Twilight said confidently. “If something major was happening involving Ponyville, I’m sure Princess Celestia would have sent letters to both me and the mayor.”

Doctor: The Princess didn’t think the channel was safe. She was taking no risks with these ‘Shadows’.

She turned towards the door. “The library’s open, so come on in. Knocking’s a little unnecessary at the moment.”

Doctor: Why does everyone knock? It’s a public library.

        A white pegasus stallion opened the door. He was wearing the golden armour of the Royal Guards and wearing a stern expression on his face. “Miss Twilight Sparkle, Miss Rainbow Dash, I’ve been ordered to bring you, Spike,

Ditzy: I’m actually surprised they’re actually bringing him along. He usually gets left behind.

Doctor: Poor guy.

and the other Bearers of the Elements of Harmony to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.”

All: (Stallion) In chains!

        “Captain Cloudhammer,” Twilight said, surprised at the appearance of the Pegasus. “Um, of course we’ll come, but whatever for? Is there a problem with Discord?”

Doctor: (Raises eyebrow) That’s your first assumption?

        “That’s not for me to say,” he answered her. “My orders are to bring the Bearers of the

Elements of Harmony to the Princesses so that they can explain the situation to you personally.

Ditzy: (Cloudhammer) Dead or alive.

Now, if you will kindly bring Spike with you, we can be on our way as soon as your friends arrive.”

Doctor: (Twilight) We can’t bring Spike! Somepony has to watch over library! Spike watch over the library while we deal with the situation in Canterlot.

Ditzy: (Spike dejected) Okay Twilight.

        Rainbow Dash shared a look with Twilight, the thought I knew it, going through her skull.

-G-M-

        On the road between Ponyville and Canterlot, a lone mare sat and watched the sky. Her violet eyes stared as chariots raced through the sky towards settlements in all corners of Equestria.

Doctor: Again, is this necessary?

This certainly was not a sight she had laid eyes on every day; the odd chariot flying overhead here or there was not particularly uncommon for her, but the sheer volume of pegasus-drawn golden chariots were enough to even give the Great and Powerful Trixie pause.

Doctor: She cared little about anything besides herself.

        The showpony with an azure coat and pale cornflower blue mane got to her hooves again after another minute of watching the skies and resumed her walk to the capital. Trixie

Ditzy: (Groans) Not her again. Why is she in this story?

Doctor: This is going to be a long chapter.

had definitely seen better days. Her purple, star-studded cloak was frayed and patched in a couple of places,

Ditzy: Trixie insisted it gave the cloak character.

and her coat and mane could have used a decent brushing. She’d never been able to replace her hat or her cart after that Ursa Minor had smashed them when she’d last been in Ponyville.

Doctor: In retrospect it was a bad idea not to get bear attack insurance on her cart.

        “Canterlot will be better than Blazerborough,” she said confidently, remembering why she was on the road. “Canterlot is definitely a place where a pony like Trixie can find work.

Ditzy: I think Donut Joe’s has an opening.

Blazerborough is too small to offer Trixie more than a warm bed for a few nights.”

Doctor: It was only populated by 2 ponies and they only lived there to run the post office.

She continued forward and ignored the growling of her stomach, though a minute later she did root into her cloak for a moment with her magic and produce a small blue pouch tied at the top with a piece of string. Trixie stopped and took the pouch into her hooves, untying the string at the top with her magic.

Ditzy: (Trixie) Pinecones for dinner again.

        She sighed and retied the string after looking into the pouch for a few seconds. The pouch whisked back into its place under her cloak in the azure mare’s magic’s light purple grasp. “Canterlot had better be better than Blazerborough, Manehattan, Trottingham, and Clopland.”

All: Clopland?

Ditzy: No comment.

Her voice wavered slightly while she spoke. Recognizing the sign of weakness,

Doctor: (Trixie) Bad Trixie! Trixie needs to remain strong so she can get her revenge on Twilight Sparkle!

Trixie quickly glanced around to make sure that nopony had overheard her.

Doctor: Trixie was a very paranoid pony. She was sure Twilight’s spies were everywhere. Watching her every move.

When her spot check revealed no ponies on the road at all, she breathed easier and set off again at a trot.

        Canterlot was her best bet at the moment. There was no way that she could return to Ponyville, not after the fiasco that had happened there last time, and she couldn’t be sure that the ponies of the bumpkin town would be very hospitable to a pony that had inadvertently caused an Ursa to crankily rampage through their home.

Ditzy: And you acted like a complete stuck up jerk to everypony.

Doctor: Does any town actually accept her back after one of her performances?

With a little luck, charm, and her talents at her disposal,

Ditzy: And her skills at pole dancing.

Doctor: Now that was uncalled for.

Trixie would be able to earn enough bits to get a new cloak, hat, and eat well for a while; maybe even treat herself to a day at the spa and afford a new wagon.

Doctor: Do you know what they say about insanity?

Ditzy: Um. Something about doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result?

Doctor: Exactly.

        Fortunately, though, the walk right now was pleasant. The sun was shining in the sky, only a few wispy cirrus clouds high in the atmosphere above her. The leaves on the trees Trixie passed by were a vibrant green, the grass and flowers smelled wonderful even from where she trotted on the road,

Ditzy: At least she has something to eat now.

and a few robins were singing back and forth to one another within the range of her hearing. It was a beautiful mid-morning to travel the roads of Equestria.

Doctor: Trixie swore all this happiness and beauty would burn when she rises to power.

        Trixie’s ears twitched as a twig snapped somewhere off the road to her right, and a tree exploded in a flurry of wings as a whole flight of sparrows took off from their roosts. The unicorn turned her gaze towards the source of the sound, suddenly fearful that anypony who was there was stalking her and had overheard her.

Ditzy: (Trixie) Twilight Sparkle’s spies have heard too much!

“Trixie knows that you are there,” she declared. “Do you not know that you are standing before the Great and Powerful Trixie? Show yourself!”

Doctor: It’s hard to seem threatening when you look like a complete hobo.

        There was no response.

Ditzy: Much like the reactions to her latest shows.

        Trixie waited a few seconds longer, and then haughtily turned her nose up and resumed her trot. So what if somepony was there?

Doctor: All would fall under Trixie’s might even if they were just a figment of her imagination.

She probably hadn’t overheard Trixie’s quiet murmurs, reflecting the poor financial straight she found herself in at the moment, and even if she had, she didn’t have the pride to come forward and admit that she was there.

Ditzy: Admittance is the first step to recovery Trixie.

Regardless, Trixie would be on her way towards better prospects long before that pony could come out from behind the…

        Her trot ceased abruptly as a black shadow wiggled its way out of the grass and onto the road in front of her. Trixie looked around in surprise. She had never seen a creature that could produce a shadow like that on the ground, or for one to be so dark when the sun was so brightly shining above. She controlled her surprise when the shadow on the ground came out of it to stand before her, its bulbous head with two antennae wiggling slightly as it looked at her.

Ditzy: It was wearing a ‘Trixie is best pony’ t-shirt.

        Trixie looked down on it disdainfully. “So you’re what was spying on the Great and Powerful Trixie just now? Hmph! You’re not even a pony,

Ditzy: Trixie was a very racist pony.

and are hardly worthy of Trixie’s time and decent conversation. Away with you!

Doctor: (Trixie) Begone non-pony filth.

The Great and Powerful Trixie has important business to attend to in Canterlot, and you are in her way.”

Doctor: (Trixie) Trixie has a card boa- Trixie means luxurious hotel room in Canterlot with her name on it.

        The black creature that had arisen from its own shadow did not budge, only continued to look at her with its piercing yellow eyes.

        The way it was looking at her unnerved the azure unicorn for a moment, but she’d stood her ground in front of an Ursa Minor even if she had been completely incapable of defeating it;

Ditzy: If you put it that way it seems like Trixie isn’t a complete coward that was trembling in fear the whole time.

this little cockroach would be of little effort to remove from her path. “Very well,” Trixie said, “if you refuse to acknowledge the magical powers of Trixie and cease impeding her, then Trixie shall demonstrate for you.” Her horn glowed violet, and she picked up the Shadow with her magic and set it down six hooves to the right of the road. It continued to stare at her from its new location, and Trixie gave only a tiny nod at it before hurrying on her way.

Doctor: Yep, problem solved. There is absolutely no way that thing will bother you any longer. No sir.

There had been no need for her to get overly fancy with her magic; the creature obviously wasn’t intelligent enough to…

Ditzy: Trixie, it doesn’t take much intelligence for something to rip your face off. This is coming from experience.

        It was in front of her again.

        Trixie balked and glanced back at where she’d just placed it, only to realize that that one was still where she’d left it, twenty hooves behind her. She growled, and picked this second one up with her magic and placed it on the opposite side of the road.

Doctor: (Heartless) I just wanted to ask for directions jerk.

Her gait fell into a canter. One of those black creatures was enough to spook anypony, but two of them? It didn’t matter that they were smaller than Trixie; they made her afraid in a way that the Ursa Minor never had.

All: Really?

Ditzy: Personally I think giant creatures with sharp claws and teeth are scarier.

        A third and a fourth rose up on the road in front of her.

        The unicorn veered away from the road to avoid them,

Ditzy: (Heartless) Is it something we said?

now quickening into a full gallop and then returning to the road. She’d always enjoyed audiences, but audiences full of smiling, laughing, and hoofing ponies,

Ditzy: All things your would never find at one of her shows. Trust me, I was there.

not whatever these black things were. Trixie spared a glance behind her and saw that there were more than four shadows on the ground following her, and they were keeping pace!

Doctor: It isn’t looking good for Trixie.

        Trixie puffed and turned her eyes up towards Canterlot. She wasn’t in shape to be running any sorts of marathons, and her stomach rumbled again to remind her how empty it was, but she just had to reach Canterlot, she had too.

Ditzy: (Trixie) Canterlot five miles? Ponyfeathers!

So intent was her concentration on running that she didn’t notice the Shadow that appeared in front of her, and she charged right into it.

Doctor: She was so intent on running she ran into something right in front of her?

The impact staggered her weakened limbs and Trixie’s impact with the road crushed the air out of her lungs, while the Shadow she’d trampled looked dazed as it lay on its back upon the ground.

Doctor: Time to get the Heartless’s insurance information.

        The azure unicorn tried to take a step to get back onto her hooves, and tried and failed to suppress a cry of pain. She must have strained a muscle in her leg when she’d suddenly collided with the creature, and now her legs wouldn’t support her run for sure.

Doctor: (Rolls eyes) Of course, the old twisting an ankle while running away from a monster trope.

Already there was a light sheen of sweat on her coat. The injured unicorn watched as the creatures surrounded her in a ring. She counted eight of them altogether now, slowly inching towards her with claws outstretched and ready to pounce.

Ditzy: Ready to pounce like a cat on its prey.

        Her fear vanished underneath a cloud of anger. She snarled as her azure horn became surrounded by a violet glow. “All Trixie had been trying to do was get to Canterlot so that she could begin anew, but since you all seem so eager to see the magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie, I can do nothing but oblige you!”

Doctor: (Trixie) The Great and Powerful Trixie’s gonna give you such a pinch!

        Trixie’s horn shone brightly while the lines of a circular glyph bearing her cutie mark of a magic wand and crescent moon within illuminated the ground beneath her body. “Prepare to be awestruck by the magic of Trixie!”

Ditzy: She creates a smoke screen and runs off.

she shouted, her horn glowing even brighter and her eyes open wide in anger. Trip her up, delay her, and frighten Trixie will they? She’d show them. She’ll create enough charged nimbus clouds to destroy all of them with their lightning, and then the black shadows would chase Trixie no more. She’d be free to travel alone and in quiet once more.

Doctor: I’m no expert on magic...but I don’t think she has that sort of power.

Ditzy: Trixie’s all talk.

        The black clouds were already forming in the sky above Trixie as she worked her magic. They swirled together, forms of condensed obsidian water vapor with particles vibrating against one another as each individual cloud formed. Number three, number four, number five, number six…

        Trixie

Ditzy: Couldn’’t count any higher than that.

let out a gasp of pain as one of the eight from behind her leapt forward and scratched at her flank with a claw. The sixth cloud dissipated just after it had finished forming as Trixie’s concentration broke from the sudden injury. Her already frayed cloak tore along the scratch, and she gasped as the pouch that contained the meagre amount of bits she still had saved up was dislodged and fell to the ground. The Shadow swiped at her again, and somehow missed, its claws cutting into the pouch and flinging it into the grass instead. Trixie glared daggers at the black creature that was eye-to-eye with her while what remained of her money fell from her broken pouch like golden drops of rain,

Ditzy: (Trixie) Trixie’s 5 bits! Trixie will make you pay for that!

and a lightning bolt from one of the five remaining clouds zapped the creature right in the middle of its head. The creature burst apart into wisps of darkness, and the sudden change in its form shocked Trixie back slightly. Her cloud dissolved, only one good bolt in it because she’d worked on trying to create so many.

Doctor: It was pretty stupid to use this spell like that then.

        Another came at her from behind, and Trixie leveled her gaze on it. Another one of her clouds smote it with a lightning strike, turning it into wisps much like the first one, but there were still six more of them, and she had only three clouds left.

Ditzy: Maybe she can combo some of them.

Trixie bit back another shriek of pain as the claws of a different one connected with her left shoulder, and an angry tear welled up in her eyes even as it was blasted away by a third lightning bolt. The Great and Powerful Trixie, laid low by black things three-quarters her size and surely without her talent. Trixie had thought that she’d been climbing up from having fallen to rock bottom, but to have it all taken from her again and end like this…

Doctor: Oh, don’t feel so bad Trixie. There are a lot more humiliating ways to die then this. Like tripping on brick for example.

        She let the tear fall and glared once more at the creatures darting around her prone form. “I won’t forgive you for this.” Her horn glowed bright one last time, and a blast of violet light shot out from it, spearing right through the Shadow directly in front of her.

Doctor: (Heartless) Gah… and I was only…. two… weeks from... retirement.

For a moment, Trixie almost thought that she saw something solid within the light, but weariness overcame her from the effort and she saw no more.

Ditzy: (Lowers her ears) Even Trixie doesn’t deserve that...

Doctor: (Hums Amazing Grace)

-G-M-

        “Hey, what’s that down there?”

        Twilight looked in the direction Pinkie Pie was pointing. It hadn’t taken Captain Cloudhammer and his fellow Pegasus Guards long to gather her other four best friends and assemble them on the large golden chariot Princess Celestia usually rode on.

Doctor: But Pinkie insisted on throwing a party for all the guards, so they didn’t take off until after sunset.

Rainbow Dash had argued initially as to why she and Fluttershy should even ride the chariot when they could already fly, but a short sentence and glare from Captain Cloudhammer silenced the usually brash pegasus pony.

        Down below on the road she could make out a flash of purple light, and she thought that she could see small black dots moving around a blue and purple mass in the centre of the road. “What do you suppose that is?” Rarity asked, leaning towards Twilight and Spike.

Ditzy: (Rainbow) It’s Trixie getting mauled to death by some weird black creatures. That’s awesome! Let’s go down and watch!

        Twilight shook her head. “I’m not sure,” she said. “Captain Cloudhammer!” she called, loud enough so the Royal Guard Captain could hear her. “What’s going on down there?”

        “It isn’t your concern,” he answered her. “We are to bring the Bearers to the Princesses as quickly as possible.

Ditzy: (Twilight) I can hear screaming!

Doctor: (Cloudhammer) Who cares!

Ditzy: (Twilight) I think that pony is drawing blood!

Doctor: (Cloudhammer) Pfft. Whatever.

The Royal Guards will handle it.”

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “What the hay’s going on? And if the Royal Guards are supposed to handle it, doesn’t that mean you guys?”

Doctor: (Guard) What me? No no. I only drive chariots. I didn’t sign up for anything dangerous!

        “Captain,” one of the pegasi pulling the chariot with Cloudhammer spoke up, “it’s a unicorn being attacked by those Shadows.”

        “Shadows?” Applejack asked. Captain Cloudhammer ignored her and looked instead at his subordinate.

        “Are you sure Lieutenant Firefly?”

        “My eyes are sharp, sir. I’m not lying.” The captain seemed to dwell on this information for a second before he turned his head back towards Twilight’s group.

        “Keep your hooves steady, Miss Sparkle, we’re going down!” Twilight and the others barely had time to hold on as the chariot suddenly nosedived for the unicorn on the ground.

Ditzy: Crashing into her.

The wind whipped through her mane, and she could hear Rarity wailing about how it would take her forever to fix her mane so that she could be presentable to Princess Celestia. Peewee was shrieking excitedly while Spike tried to keep him close.

Doctor: Why is Peewee with them?

Ditzy: I guess Shire Folk needed to keep him in the story somehow.

Twilight looked back at the baby dragon and was horrified to see him being left behind by the chariot.

Doctor: That is what you get for not wearing your seatbelt Spike.

        “Spike!” Her horn glowed with magenta light and she quickly caught both him and the phoenix hatchling with her magic. The pair quickened in their descent with her help, and a second later they were hanging on for dear life with the screaming ponies, except for Pinkie.

Doctor: Sometimes I wonder if she even understands the concept of ‘danger’.

        “Woohoo!” crowed the pink earth pony, reared up on her hind legs with her hooves in the air. She looked like she was having the time of her life.

Doctor: Of...course.

        “Pinkie, what are you doing?” Applejack yelled. “How are you still standing?”

All: Pinkie Pie. Don’t ask.

        “Applejack! Put your hooves in the air like this! It’s incredible! Weeee—EE!” The chariot suddenly jerked up as Captain Cloudhammer and his pegasi righted themselves not two hooves up from the ground and touched down. Before Twilight could even adjust to the change in g-forces that assaulted her body, the Pegasus Royal Guards had already unhitched themselves from the chariots and were galloping the short distance to the unicorn.

Doctor: Some of the guards could have just flown to Trixie’s aid right away and just left the chariot behind leaving it to catch up later.

        Rarity leaned over the edge of the chariot, her white face looking somewhat green. “Rainbow Dash, please never ask them to do something like that again.”

Doctor: Yes, Cloudhammer your job is to protect the Elements of Harmony, not recklessly endanger their lives.

        “I don’t know what your problem is, Rarity, but what the hay are those black things?”

Ditzy: Sure Spike almost died, but it was fun and nopony got hurt. So, no big deal.

Twilight blinked stars out of her eyes and turned her gaze away from her friends and towards the unicorn. She couldn’t help but gasp. She couldn’t ever remember reading anything that had a description like the five creatures Cloudhammer’s pegasi were currently engaged with.

Doctor: Even ‘The Third Edition of Terribly Troublesome Terrifying and Treacherous Creatures’ didn’t have anything on them.

They lashed out at the Royal Guards with clawed fingers and waddled or hopped on overlarge feet.

Ditzy: It was more adorable than scary.

One pegasus turned and kicked at one, only for his hooves to strike nothing as the black creature sank into the ground and took the shape of its own shadow.

        “What are these things?” she asked aloud.

        “I don’t know Twilight,” Fluttershy commented, “but I’ve certainly never seen anything like them before.”

        “They are kinda funny looking, though,” Pinkie Pie said. Captain Cloudhammer kicked one full in its face with both his rear hooves, and the creature simply vanished! Twilight shook her head, eyes wide in bewilderment.

        In no book I’ve read was there ever a mention of a creature that turned into nothing when it was hit! That’s impossible!

Doctor: Please don’t start this again.

        “What was that just now?” she asked. “What are these things? What’s going on?”

        “We’ll handle these!” Captain Cloudhammer yelled at her. “Miss Sparkle, you and your friends see to our friend here.”

Doctor: (Cloudhammer) It would be far too interesting for you to actually do something.

        “Uh, right,” said Applejack. She leapt out of the chariot. “Come on everypony!” The cowpony led the charge right past the Royal Guards, and was the first to gasp when they arrived at the unconscious unicorn. Twilight nosed past her and ignored Rainbow Dash’s groan and facehoof. She’d only seen this particular unicorn once when she’d come to Ponyville,

Doctor: I’m guessing Trixie isn’t dead after all.

Ditzy: I’m not sure if I should be happy about this.

but there was no way Twilight Sparkle could mistake that cloak, coat, mane, and cutie-mark.

Ditzy: That pompous, self important attitude she radiates even in her sleep.

        “Trixie,” she gasped softly. Twilight glanced back. “Captain Cloudhammer, she needs help right away!”

The pegasus grunted as he reared onto his hind legs and flapped his wings hard, pushing back the last Shadow in front of him with a gust of wind. One of his other pegasi caught it in the back with a nicely-timed kick, and the being vanished in that inexplicable wisp of smoke.

Doctor: (Heartless) Tell my wife I...argh.

Cloudhammer and his team ran at a canter to Twilight’s position, and with a nod he agreed with Celestia’s protégé. “It’s not part of our mandated mission, but protecting the ponies of Equestria is still our first duty. Firefly, Quickbeam, load her onto the chariot,

Ditzy: (Imitates a crashing sound)(Trixie) Gah!

and be gentle about it.

Ditzy: (Quickbeam) Oops, sorry!

Miss Dash, Miss Fluttershy, I’m afraid you’ll have to fly alongside us this time.”

Ditzy: Um, no offence to Fluttershy or anything, but won’t that make the trip take twice as long? Fluttershy isn’t exactly a powerful flier and Trixie really needs medical attention.

        Fluttershy meekly nodded her head and took a step back from the captain, intimidated by his stern demeanour and reputation as a Royal Guard from the moment she’d laid eyes on him.

Doctor: And she really made a dragon cry once?

Ditzy: Yep! She can be quite tough when the chips are down and her friends are endangered.

Doctor: I just don’t see it.

        “Twilight, are you sure about this?” Rarity asked. “Think of all the trouble she caused us.”

Ditzy: (Rarity) She turned my mane green Twilight… Green! Let her die!

        Twilight glared at her friend with admonishing eyes. “Rarity, she’s injured! Trixie may have been bragging and lied about defeating an Ursa, but it was Snips and Snails who brought it into Ponyville; and in case you forgot, she still tried her best to beat it and protect Ponyville.”

Doctor: (Twilight) And it’s not like she’s secretly planning revenge on me or anything.

        “But Twilight…”

        “Ah know yer still upset about her turning yer mane green Rarity,” Applejack said, “but Ah’m with Twi on this one. Sure she may have been a bit of a stick in the mud, but she’s hurtin’ pretty bad now, and what kinda ponies would we be if we just left her here?”

Doctor: (Rarity) You’re right darling. It wouldn’t be very generous of me to leave her hurt like this.

        “Thank you Applejack,” Twilight said gratefully, noticing that Rarity was nodding a little. Her eyes flicked to Trixie’s sleeping form and then back to the ground at her hooves.

        “I suppose you’re right, Applejack,” she said. “But if she insults my mane again, I cannot promise that I will restrain myself.”

Ditzy: (Rarity) I have a special basement prepared for just such an occasion.

        “Good enough,” Applejack agreed, grinning at the unicorn.

        “Miss Sparkle,” Captain Cloudhammer’s iron voice cut into them once again. “We must move on. We’ve already lost time dealing with these creatures.”

Ditzy: (Cloudhammer) My Little Human starts in two hours.

        “What are they anyway?” Rainbow Dash asked. The captain shook his head.

        “We’re not entirely sure ourselves,” he answered, “but we do know that they’re dangerous and threatening Equestria. It is their appearance that has warranted the summoning of the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony

Doctor: (Cloudhammer) And let’s face it, you pretty much handle any threat that comes to Equestria.

and, as I have made clear before, it is my duty to get you to Celestia.”

        “Yes, of course,” Twilight agreed before he could pressure them again. “Let’s go everypony. Hopefully Princess Celestia will be able to clear all of this up.”

Doctor: (Celestia) I have no idea what these creatures are. I was hoping you would be able to help solve this mystery my most faithful student.

-G-M-

        “Sora-nii-chan! Wake up! Wake up!”

        Seriously, wake up, said a voice inside of his head, sounding as if it were barely restraining laughter. You’re not going to believe this!

Ditzy: (Voice) You’re in a bad fanfic.

        Sora groaned and blearily opened his eyes before shutting them immediately. He recognized that he was having a splitting headache. Shut up Roxas, 

Ditzy: What.

he retorted. I’m not in the mood right now.

        Suit yourself, chortled his Nobody.

Ditzy: He can talk to his Nobody now? Oh, I guess Shire Folk is one those fans that couldn’t let Roxas’s ‘death’ go.

Another shove struck Sora’s shoulder and the voice of his younger sister

Ditzy: What. Sora...doesn’t have one.

Doctor: I guess now he does.

continued in its persistence in telling him to get up. Sora rubbed a hoof to his face. “Alright I’m—”

Wait, hoof?

Doctor: Yep, get used to being a quadruped kid.

Ditzy: He’s been one of those before. So he shouldn’t fall on his face as much as you did Doctor.

Doctor: (Grumbles)

The thought startling him completely awake, Sora snapped his eyes open and tried his best to ignore the pounding in his head,

Ditzy: (Sora) Roxas! Stopping playing loud music in my head!

a pounding he duly noticed was slowly getting weaker.

Doctor: (Pounding) No...losing...strength….

He noticed that the thing he’d rubbed into his face wasn’t a hand as he’d first thought, but was indeed a horse’s hoof, with a coat of brown fur. In front of his cerulean eyes stood a little filly with a light cyan coat and a mane of banana-yellow with twin streaks of vanilla running through it. Her tail curled out behind her, its colour only that of the yellow atop her head. On her cheeks by her violet eyes were a trio of darkened freckles, and a rounded horn was sticking out from the top of her head. Against her flank was the image of a very unique skeleton key

Ditzy: (Groans) Again with that?

Doctor: I think Shire Folk believes that a suitable substitute for ‘keyblade’.

Ditzy: He’s wrong.

that he immediately recognized as Thunderbell, and on her back was a strap that held up two small, white, rectangular saddlebags, each bag with her Keyblade’s image printed on it.

Doctor: Her cutie mark has a keyblade that looks like exercising equipment?

Ditzy: Not what I expected for such a cute little filly

Sora shook his head twice to clear it quickly before he sat up and stared at his little sister.

Doctor: (Sora) Wait a minute...I don’t have a sister!

“Rei, you’re a little unicorn!” The filly giggled and bounced up and down on her hooves.

“I know! Isn’t it great! Look! Riku and Kairi are ponies too!”

Ditzy: Kairi’s here too? Really?

Doctor: Maybe Shire Folk was tired of her being ignored all the time.

Sora frowned as Roxas began laughing from within his head…heart…wherever. “Now Rei, we aren’t ponies. We’re horses, and you’re a unicorn foal.”

“Onii-chan,

Ditzy: Why...is she using Neighpon honorifics?

Doctor: I guess it’s suppose to be an ‘endearing’ character trait.

All: (Groans)

you’ve got wings like Pegasus,” Rei countered,

Doctor: Don’t you mean ‘like a pegasus’?

Ditzy: I think she means like Pegasus from Hercules.

completely ignoring what he’d just said.

“I’ve got what?” he asked, quickly craning his neck around to examine his side. Sure enough, there they were, just in front of a tattoo of the Kingdom Key he’d somehow gotten on his flank. Just behind his wings he saw bags almost exactly like Rei’s,

Ditzy: Saddlebags? Why does he have those? I thought his inventory went into a transdimensional pocket.

except bigger and with the Kingdom Key on them.

Doctor: Why exactly?

Ditzy: You know, in case he loses them.

Now that he knew that his wings existed, he was sure that he could even feel them. With a thought he extended his wings out and examined the feathers on them. They sure looked and felt real enough to him, though they did look a little small in proportion to his body…

Doctor: (Sora) I need to get something to compensate for this. A giant sword perhaps like Cloud?

Ditzy: (Sora) Maybe I can get some sort of enlargement pill.

“Never seen that before,” he mumbled quietly. Pegasus’ wings were much bigger than his were, and he also figured that Pegasus himself was also much bigger than he was at the moment. If anything, he’d shrunk at least a foot in height. Sora groaned. Oh, please don’t tell me that I’m not a horse. Please, please don’t tell me that I’m a pony.

Ditzy: What’s wrong with being a pony?

Doctor: (Shrugs)

Okay, then I won’t tell you.

All: Shut up Roxas.

Sora sighed, unfolded his wings, and decided that it was time enough to take in the surroundings before Rei or Roxas distracted him again.

Ditzy: (Roxas) Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen!

Doctor: (Sora) SHUT UP ROXAS!

The floor was mostly grey stone, though there was a pile of straw in the corner that Sora guessed was for sleeping on. Three walls were stone, and one look at the other made it clear that the four of them were stuck in a cell; the black iron bars were a dead giveaway. Outside were two ponies dressed in golden armour with plumed helmets. Both were unicorns, and one was a bright yellow while the other unicorn was white as snow; both unicorns were standing so still they could have been statues. Riku and Kairi were nearby, Sora only able to tell that that’s who they were by the colours of their manes and Kairi’s hat. Riku had become a fierce turquoise unicorn stallion, his short silver mane still sweeping down to partially cover his closed eyes,

Ditzy: (Jaw drops) Wow.

Ditzy: That’s strange… I thought at least one of them would be an Earth Pony.

Doctor: It does break the rule of three.

except that her coat was light pink and her red mane and tail had been divided into cherry and strawberry underneath the girl’s raspberry beret.

Ditzy: Wow, that clashes horribly.

Doctor: She is never going to hear the end of this from Rarity.

On Riku’s flank resided the image of Way to the Dawn,

Doctor: Er, what?

Ditzy: It’s Riku Keyblade.

Doctor: Oh.

while on Kairi’s he could see Destiny’s Embrace.

Ditzy: What is with all the Keyblade cutie marks?

Doctor: It doesn’t seem they have much future prospects outside of fighting.

Ditzy: Sora later became a full time manager at a Wacky Hut.

Both had white saddlebags like his and Rei’s, each bearing the mark of the tattoos on their flanks.

Ditzy: Why do they all have saddlebags?

Doctor: Maybe they were going on a camping trip?

Roxas chuckled in Sora’s mind. Heh, checking out your girlfriend are you?

Ditzy: Wait. Kairi and Sora are together in this!? This must be part of the one percent of Kingdom Hearts fanfics where Riku and Sora aren’t a couple!

Planning on getting freaky as winged horses?

All: (Long silence)

Ditzy: This is suppose to be Roxas?

Sora rolled his eyes and snorted. If you’ve got any weird and freaky form fetishes you want to do with Naminé,

Doctor: (Sora) Seriously, and why are clown suits always involved?

that’s your own damn problem that can wait until we’ve figured out how to somehow give you both bodies of your own.

Ditzy: Would that even work? Won’t they just make them incomplete again? They are part of Sora and Kairi’s souls.

Kairi and I aren’t going to fulfill any of your sick scenarios. Roxas just laughed.

Ditzy: (Roxas) Don’t give me that! I saw what you did to Kairi in the Pride Lands.

You know I was joking right? I know you two would never do anything like that, at least, not until you’ve reached that level of intimacy normally, that is.

Ditzy: I can where this is going.

Doctor: Yep.

Ditzy: How many chapters?

Doctor: Five most likely.

Sora just gave a mental nod and didn’t feel the compulsion to answer.

Doctor: Again. Shut up Roxas.

He and Kairi were comfortable with where their relationship was at, and neither was placing pressure on the other to take it further at the moment.

Doctor: The hand holding phase was still way too intense for them.

The brown pegasus with a wild mane of spiked chocolate hair walked slowly up to the still sleeping female and nudged her with his nose. “Hey, Kairi, wake up.”

She groaned in her sleep and he nudged her again. Kairi batted his face away with a hoof.

Doctor: Kairi was later charged with domestic abuse charges.

“Stop it Sora, that wet cloth is cold.” He snorted slightly in a chuckle,

Ditzy: While rubbing his bruised face.

and Kairi’s attempts to ward him off ceased abruptly as she felt the hot air come out of his flaring nostrils and strike her cheek. She opened her bright indigo eyes, and stared at Sora for a few seconds in bewilderment.

Ditzy: (Kairi) I need to lay off the liquor.

“Kairi! Look!” Rei said excitedly, bounding beside her big brother. “We’ve been turned into ponies!”

Doctor: (Sora) No! We are not ponies! We are manly, awesome, not girly in any way horses!

The redhead just glanced between Sora and Rei in astonishment for a few seconds, her mouth open wide.

Sora looked at her in concern. She’d never quite acted this way when they’d transformed before.

Doctor: Usually she hit him more often.

Okay, she was a little like this in the Pride Lands, but that was because it was the first time they’d turned into quadrupeds.

Doctor: Understandable, it really is quite disconcerting.

No, Roxas reminded him, it wasn’t because you guys had four legs, it was because she thought we were… he left his sentence hanging, and Sora remembered. He almost sighed.

A HUGE smile came onto Kairi’s face as she jumped onto her rear hooves and picked up Rei in her forehooves. “Soo cute!” she exclaimed, giggling like a little girl. “Rei! You’re a teensy-weensy cute little unicorn!”

“And you’re a really pretty pegasus, Kairi,” answered Rei, smiling just as wide as the pink-coated pony.

“And you’re just adorable, Sora,” Kairi added, giving her boyfriend a warm smile.

He would have dearly loved to deny her,

Doctor: Sora enjoyed being passive aggressive to his girlfriend.

just this once; to frown and scowl and turn it around, but that smile of hers melted him.

Ditzy: It shot out death lasers.

And besides, it wasn’t as if she and Rei weren’t cute either. Kairi dropped back down onto all four hooves, surprisingly having had very good balance for the short period of time in which she’d reared up, and looked around. “Hey, where’s Riku?”

Ditzy: (Sora) I think he’s over in the corner crying because of his new form.

“Over here,” said the voice of the other male of their group, “trying to come to terms with this catastrophe.” Sora turned to look at his best friend, who was now standing on his feet and glaring at his hooves.

“What catastrophe?” Kairi asked simply, giddy like a kid at Christmas with everyone having been turned into equines. “You make a good-looking unicorn, Riku.”

Doctor: From all the drooling Ditzy has been doing, that’s probably true.

Ditzy: (Blushes)

He glowered at her, his voice dropping into a deeper level of cynicism. “I’m a unicorn? Great. I thought it was bad enough that I’m blue, but I’m a girly unicorn too?

Doctor: Actually in the culture of...no, there’s no culture where unicorns are considered manly.

Ditzy: What?

Doctor: Um, except Equestria of course.

Zeus, strike me down now, please.”

Ditzy: Which he promptly did.

Doctor: Game Over. Try Again?

“But you look so amazing Riku!” Rei burst out. The silver-maned unicorn snorted.

Sora sighed. “Come on Riku. Sure, it may be one of the stranger forms I’ve been turned into,

Doctor: (Sora) Remember that one time we turned into eldritch abominations?

but it can’t be all that bad. I mean, hey, Kairi and I have wings right? So we should be able to fly.

Ditzy: Doubtful. Learning to fly isn’t easy. It takes years to become really good at it.

Doctor: Somehow I think Shire Folk is going to ignore that little fact.

And look at you! Look at that horn!”

“Don’t remind me about the horn.”

“But look at how pointy and sharp it is!”

Doctor: No phallic jokes.

Ditzy: I wasn’t going to.

Riku paused in his retort and appeared to think about it for a second. He grinned. “Right, a horn, I’ve got a horn! Hey, Sora, can you switch out with Roxas for a second?”

“Why?”

“I want to head butt that guy.”

All: Understandable.

“And Riku, look,” Kairi spoke up before Sora could come to the defence of his already protesting Nobody, “you’ve got the Way to the Dawn tattooed on your flank.” Riku looked over at his side.

“Well, I don’t know why I’ve got a tattoo on, I guess my hip, but it does look pretty good,” he commented on the appearance of his red-bladed Keyblade with its bat-wing hilt and angel-wing key. He looked back at Kairi. “Better than you, though.”

At this, she blinked. “What do you mean by that?”

“You’re pink.” Kairi frowned.

“I’m what?” she growled.

“You’re pink,” Riku repeated. For the first time, Kairi looked herself over. Sora had to put a hoof in his mouth to keep himself from laughing as she started muttering to herself.

“Pink. Why did my fur have to be a light pink? I know it’s my favourite colour, but why couldn’t I have a cool looking coat of fur like scarlet or white or even royal purple or emerald?

Ditzy: Hey, I think it looks rather nice. (Muttering) It’s better than being a plain gray like me...

Heck, even straight black with pink stripes would be better than this.

Ditzy: Hey, I remember meeting a half pony half zebra that looked like that.

And what’s with this? Destiny’s Embrace next to my ass? Gods, why that Keyblade?

Ditzy: Yeah, it’s like giving me a muffin shaped Keyblade.

Doctor: You’re never going to let that go are you?

Ditzy: No. No I won’t.

No, shut up Naminé, I don’t care that it was the first one I used, it’s the girliest Keyblade ever. Why couldn’t I have the Oathkeeper instead? Is there a way to change these forms, Sora?” He shook his head. “Are you sure?”

Doctor: (Kairi) I would even take plaid at this point!

“Kairi, I’m brown. If I could change my coat colour, I would.”

Doctor: What exactly is wrong with brown?

Ditzy: I was actually rather hoping Sora would be pink in this. That would be pretty funny.

Doctor: Pink? That would be a riot.

“But you’re a nice, mahogany/rust brown! You look good in that colour!”

“I was an ash-black lion cub because my clothes were black. Riku was a cream-coloured jackal, Rei was a yellow cub, and you were a pink lioness cub because of your dress. In Atlantica I have a blue dolphin tail, Riku a grey seal’s tail, Rei’s a brown otter, and you’re a pink jellyfish thing from your waist down. Then I became a yellow Mustang, Riku a black Jaguar, and Rei a teal Subaru while you were a pink Mercedes. If anything, your colouring is consistent throughout.”

Doctor: (Kairi) Why I am the one stuck with girly stereotypes!

“But can’t I be something other than pink just once? I wasn’t even wearing the clothes Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather made for us when we got—”

Kairi stopped, stunned into silence. Sora had growled halfway through and took a few quick steps towards her before planting his lips over hers.

Ditzy: (Sora) This will finally shut her up.

Rei turned her face away and raised a hoof towards her mouth, making a retching sound. Riku chuckled a little at her actions before shaking his head,

Doctor: (Riku) Why couldn’t I be the one kissing Sora.

and only managing to get a bit more of his silver mane into his eyes.

Sora detached himself from the kiss when he felt her resistance waver and looked her straight in the eyes.

Ditzy: (Sora) Please, go to ssssssleep, sssssleep tight little Kairi, rest in peassssse... sssssleep... sssssleep...

A rippling indigo sea filled his vision. “And you’re gorgeous in pink, Iri,” he whispered, “so please stop fussing about it.”

Doctor: (Sora) Don’t make me kiss you again!

Ditzy: (Kairi) That’s...a threat?

She blushed. “I guess so,” replied the girl-turned-pegasus, drawing a circle on the floor with her hoof.

Ditzy: Awww. That’s really cute.

“I still don’t like having Destiny’s Embrace on me back there, but I guess we can’t do anything about it, now is there?”

“Not really, I don’t think,” Rei said.

“There is one thing we can make sure that someone here doesn’t do,” Riku said sternly. The other three looked at him, and Riku stomped his hoof down. “Jiminy! You are not taking pictures of me like this!”

Doctor: (Riku) I will end up the butt of jokes for years!

A cricket in a black jacket with tails and a top hat popped out of Sora’s mane. Sora raised a hoof, and the Royal Chronicler jumped onto the offered appendage. “Why’s that Riku? I’ve always taken group photos after Sora and the guys have transformed.”

Ditzy: He has?

“It’s because I know what’s going to happen if you do,” Riku answered. He pointed a hoof accusingly at Sora and Kairi. “If you take a picture of me like this, then it’s going to end up in the hands of these two and before long it’ll get onto the web and I’ll never get another date! Ever!”

Ditzy: B-but look at you!

Doctor: (Rolls eyes) What a drama queen.

The couple laughed. “Come on Riku, you know we’d never do that,” Kairi assured him

Ditzy: (Kairi) Face it Riku. This isn’t the most embarrassing situation we have caught you in. Remember last year’s party at...

Doctor: (Riku) No! You said you would never speak of that again!

“But I thought you didn’t even like going on those dates,” Sora said, smirking.

“I don’t, but I won’t get any of the tolerable girls anymore like Ashe, Penelo, or Garnet; and I literally shudder to think of what Selphie would do.” Riku actually shuddered.

Ditzy: Gush over how cute you are?

Doctor: (Deadpan) Dear goodness the horror.

Sora chuckled half-heartedly. He needed to assure Riku, even though he was kidding himself. “I’m sure Selphie wouldn’t really mean to…”

“She’d blackmail me with the picture for sex,” Riku said bluntly.

Ditzy: Didn’t Daisy try something like that to you?

Doctor: Don’t remind me.

Sora’s eyes opened wide and quickly searched for Rei.

Doctor: Way to go Riku.

Fortunately, she’d apparently gotten bored of listening to the teenager talk and was trying to engage the guards outside the cell in conversation by asking them any and all questions about unicorns or ponies or if they could talk or had families or anything that came to her mind about this world and what it was like. She might as well have been talking to a wall for all the answers she got, but fortunately her mind was occupied enough that she hadn’t seemed to have caught what Riku had said. Relief flooded into Sora’s mind for a brief second before it snapped into anger. “Dude, my little sister’s right there!”

Ditzy: (Sora) It’s bad enough you curse like a sailor.

Riku winced. “Right, sorry Sora. That was totally my bad.” Sora sighed. He started to move his leg, and Jiminy hopped back onto Sora’s head.

“It’s okay.”

Doctor: (Sora) You didn’t traumatise her again this time.

He glanced back at Rei, then came closer to Riku and began to whisper. Kairi entered into the pony huddle as well so that she could hear what Sora was saying. “But would Selphie seriously do that? I thought she was hung up on Tidus?” He glanced at Kairi.

Doctor: (Kairi) I hear she keeps his toe and fingernail clippings.

“She is and she isn’t,” the beret-wearing girl—pegasus—whispered, “but know that I’m breaking pinky promises with Selphie not to share this, so if she finds out that I’m telling you two…you’ve been warned.”

Ditzy: Can’t be as bad as what Pinkie will do to you.

All: (Shutters)

She placed an empty hoof in front of the other two.

Sora and Riku placed hooves on top of Kairi’s, and together they said, “I solemnly swear to abide by the code of tell-not-again, to never tell anyone besides these friends holding my hand what we are about to tell.” They bopped their hooves down and up before breaking them apart.

Ditzy: But...but how can they trust her when she broke a Pinkie Promise without a second thought?!

 “Jiminy, that goes for you too,” Sora said. The cricket nodded in agreement.

“Okay,” Kairi whispered at the end of their ritual, “So she does like Tidus, but she also likes you, Riku. Or, rather…” she blushed, “she’s heard blitzball locker room stories about how big your…uh…”

Doctor: Does stuff like this actually happen?

Ditzy: Uh, er...of course not!

she glanced over at Rei; the filly was still oblivious to their talking.

“Oh…” Riku deadpanned. He looked down and away. Suddenly, the circle was very awkward. Sora pawed at the stone floor with a hoof.

Ditzy: (Kairi) So..um...is it as big as they say Riku? Just out of curiosity….Not that I’m all that interested really...

“So anyway,” Kairi started anew, “yes, I think that if she were to get a picture of you as a unicorn right now, she probably would blackmail you into having s—having a fun night together with her,”

Doctor: Just don’t give into the blackmailer’s demands. Not that hard.

she corrected herself quickly. Kairi took one more look at her boyfriend, Riku, Rei, and then the ponies guarding the outside of their cell. An annoyed expression came onto her face. “How did we get here anyway, or in this cell? And where is here for that matter?”

“Oh that’s an easy one!” a bubbly voice announced suddenly from outside the cell. Sora whipped around, Riku and Kairi scarcely a half-second behind, and they saw a bubble-gum pink pony standing outside of their cell.

Doctor: Not in the cell? That’s a first.

She had a poofy, frizzled mane of bright pink hair that crested over her head, cheery blue eyes, and three balloons tattooed onto her flank. Sora wondered if every pony in this world had a tattoo right there, and if every one of them could talk too.

Ditzy: How is this any different from say the Pride Lands? Or the Cars universe?

“You’re in the dungeons of Canterlot Castle in Canterlot!” the pink pony exclaimed. She looked around excitedly.

Ditzy: (Pinkie Pie in a cold voice) I heard you broke a Pinkie Promise. I don’t like that, Kairi.

“Are you guys excited about that? I know I’m excited. I’ve never seen the dungeons before. They’re all so dark and gloomy and creepy and dungeony!

Ditzy: I am really disappointed that Sora and his friends were introduced this way. I was hoping for a cool action sequence where Sora saves dozens of ponies from Heartless! But no, he wakes up in a cell instead… That happens to me almost every week!

Doctor: Not terribly exciting is it?

Aren’t they the best dungeons you’ve ever seen? All nice and clean, even if they are dark and gloomy and dungeony.

Doctor: Hmmmm…. I give it B+. Cleaner than most cells I have been in, but the lack of a real bed hurts it enough for me to not to give it an A.

Hey, you know what this needs? My friends and I should get thrown into the dungeon too, and then we can all have a big ‘Rebels Breaking the Law and Sticking it to the Princesses in the Dungeon Party’! Wouldn’t that be absolutely amazing?”

Doctor: But wouldn’t that make Twilight rather cross?

Sora wasn’t entirely sure how to react to this crazy pony, but Rei gasped and cantered the few feet towards her big brother. “Sora-nii-chan! That sounds really fun! Can we do it? Can we? Can we?”

Yeah, can we have a Stick-It-To-The-Man party? Roxas asked, sounding for all the world like an over-excited kid. Kairi and Riku were both grinning deviously at Sora, Kairi even nudging him a little. They loved watching him squirm whenever Rei asked for something like this.

Ditzy: It was just like that time when she asked for a pet tiger.

“Uh, well, Rei, you know we don’t really have time,” he said, not looking his kid sister in the eye.

Doctor: Ah, the puppy dog look. Gets them every time.

“We need to figure out how we got here, get out of this place, and try to find a way back to the King.”

The pink pony gasped loudly, and her face grew even brighter in excitement. “The King? I’ve never heard of a king before! Equestria’s been ruled by the princesses for ages and ages and ages! Are you from another pony country then? Are you secret agent ponies who were captured spying on Princess Luna with a mysterious unicorn on a midnight stroll together? Wait, I know! You’re really ninjas, sent to assassinate Princess Celestia and Princess Luna and got beat up by the guards long before you ever saw them! Though why you would bring a little filly along with you to assassinate the princesses is beyond me; shame on you for dragging her into your nefarious plans!”

All: Makes sense to me.

“Wait, what?” Sora, Riku, and Kairi all asked at once, stunned being the understatement of the century. “No,” Riku said firmly. “We’re not ninjas or spies or people sent by the paparazzi to get the goods on your princesses. In fact, we don’t even know who your princesses are or even what Equestria is.”

Doctor: (Pinkie) Likely story.  Spyie McSpy Pants.

“Sora, princesses!” Rei exclaimed. “Could we meet the princesses?” He made the mistake of looking into her eyes.

Doctor: (Kairi) Wait. Princesses? Not Queens?

Dang it! Her pouting was even cuter when she was this little cyan unicorn foal. Rei could sense the defeat in his resultant smile and cheered.

Kairi rubbed her head against Sora’s neck. “You’re cute when you cave like that.” Sora sighed, but the smile on his face stayed.

“It also helps that he’s a total sap,” Riku chuckled.

All: Indead.

“And a lazy bum,” added Kairi. Sora just shook his head. Equestria, huh? Obviously they must be on another world, but how did they get…

“Mortimer.”

Doctor: Gazoontite.

“Huh?”

Sora stomped a hoof down on the stone. “Mortimer.

All: Gazoontite.

That’s how we got here. That device he shot us with, it must have sent us here! But how did he get it?”

Doctor: A home shopping network?

“Professor Ludwig von Drake did say that his combination portal gun and muffin maker got stolen,” Rei answered him.

“Yes, but by Pete,” Riku reminded the filly, “not Mortimer.”

Kairi glanced over her shoulder worriedly, as if she was scared that something might suddenly appear there. “So, is that our proof? Does that mean that the Horned King really did beat Maleficent?”

Ditzy: Poor Maleficent. Always the punching bag.

Doctor: The thing couldn’t just be stolen?

“Even if he did, there’s no way that Maleficent’s gone for good,” Sora assured her,

Ditzy: (Sora) Like a cockroach that one.

although he wasn’t sure why it would be a good thing for Maleficent not to be gone. “That old hag’s just too stubborn to call it quits.” The hairs on the back of his neck prickled and he looked back at the pink pony outside of their cell. She was staring at them as if she’d never seen them before, and was completely stock-still. Something about that was just plain creepy; even the guards were getting fidgety, and they hadn’t moved or spoken a word during her exhausting dialogue.

Doctor: Ah...yes...that look…Somehow facing a platoon of Daleks seems more preferable.

“Hey, miss interrogator, why so quiet all of a sudden?” Kairi asked politely.

“You…you said ‘people’, not ‘ponies’,” she mumbled. “People...” She gasped loudly. “YOU GUYS ARE HUMAN!?”

Ow, my bleeding ears!

Doctor: Just wait until she decides to throw you a surprise party.

Sora winced and refrained from mentally smacking his Nobody on the back of the head, if only because her screech had brought that headache of his back for a moment. He opened his mouth to try and talk to her, but she was jittering around with her legs moving like hummingbird wings. “HUMAN! HUMAN! HU-HU-HUMAN!” She gasped, her smile returning and spreading the entire length of her face from one ear to the other. “Hey, my friend Lyra would love to meet you guys!

Doctor: (Pinkie) I can’t wait to show you that cool human costume she made.

I know, we can all have one big ‘humans turned into ponies’ meet and greet party in Ponyville once you get out of the slammer.”

“But we don’t even know what we’re doing in this cell in the first place!” Riku told her.

Ditzy: (Pinkie) Because your spies duh.

Doctor: (Riku) Gah! For the last time we’re not spies!

“I’ve got to admit, it’s the first time I’ve woken up already captured on a new world before,” Sora muttered to Kairi. “Every other time I at least had two minutes before the bad guys came by and gloated at us.

Doctor: Ha! Amateurs.

But I’ve never seen a bad guy like this before.”

Ditzy: (Sora) They’re usually not so...pink.

“I’m not even sure she is a bad guy, onii-chan,” Rei said, shuffling over to her brother. The faint clopping of hooves coming down the corridor was staring to echo over to his ears. “She seems real nice. A little kooky, but nice.”

Doctor: (Sora) Really? I can’t help thinking she might secretly be a serial killer or something.

The pink pony turned her head and shouted. “Hey! Twilight! Looky-looky! Don’t tell anypony, but these ponies here, they’re not ponies, they’re humans.”

Doctor: (Twilight) Pinkie, humans are a myth. There isn’t any substantial evidence that proves that they ever existed!

Sora could hear a sigh, and then for whatever reason he heard Rikku say, “Pinkie, are you sure they aren’t just ponies in human costumes?”

Doctor: Don’t you mean Riku?

Ditzy: I think he means Rikku of the Gullwings.

Doctor: Why do two characters have almost the exact same name?

Ditzy: I..don’t know.

The five of them in the cell all looked at each other. “Rikku?” Riku asked. “What’s she doing here? I thought she was still on the Highwind.”

Ditzy: Wait, are they confusing Twilight with Riku..er Rikku? I guess they do sort of sound alike.

Doctor: Are we going to have a later scene with Riku, Rikku, and Twilight all in the same room?

“She is still on the Highwind,” Jiminy said, still sitting in front of Sora’s mane on the mahogany pegasus’ head. “The last I checked, she, Yuna, and Paine were all still there, anyway.”

Ditzy: I’m surprised that Shire Folk even remembers that they exist. The makers of Kingdom Hearts sure don’t.

“But there’s no way she could have followed us through the portal Mortimer shot at us,” Kairi argued, total bewilderment lacing her voice. “They weren’t anywhere—”

The pink pony gasped loudly again. “That cricket just talked!”

Ditzy: (Pinkie) I’ve never thrown a party for a cricket before!

A soft voice spoke up in sudden excitement. “A talking cricket! Where? Oh Pinkie Pie, where is the little guy?” The next moment a new pony was standing in front of the cell. Her coat was a soft yellow, and her sweeping mane and tail were marshmallow-pink. There was a tattoo on her flank too (hers a cluster of butterflies), and wings were folded against her sides. She peered through the bars with bright blue eyes, zeroing in on the cricket atop Sora’s head.

Doctor: Target acquired. Commence cute gushing.

Sora, Riku, and Kairi shared unimpressed looks. This was a world full of talking ponies, unicorns, and pegasi, and yet they were surprised by talking crickets?

Ditzy: Why would talking crickets be commonplace here?

Rei, on the other hand, had her eyes full of awe at seeing another new pony. She was silently squeeing from the excitement, and Sora hoped that she wouldn’t faint from over-exposure to this place.

Doctor: This was almost as bad as the time when they traveled to that world with living toys.

Forget faint. When we’re all done, she’ll want us, Mom, and Dad to move here with her. Sora couldn’t help but agree with that.

Ditzy: It isn’t a bad idea, Ponyville has pretty affordable housing.

“Hi there,” the new pegasus said softly to Jiminy. “I’m Fluttershy. What’s your name?”

Jiminy looked a little surprised at first that there was someone here so interested in him,

Ditzy: That actually is pretty strange. He’s a talking cricket!

Doctor: I’m still confused why people are so accepting anthropomorphic ducks and dogs!

but his manners promptly returned to him. Coughing into his hand and lightly tapping Sora between the eyes with his umbrella, Jiminy hopped down onto a hoof that Sora raised for him and extended closer to Fluttershy. Jiminy lifted his top hat from his head and swept into a tiny bow for the cricket. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Madame Fluttershy. Cricket’s the name, Jiminy Cricket at your service.”

“Wow, and he’s so polite too,” Fluttershy commented to herself as Sora replaced Jiminy on the top of his head.

Ditzy: (Fluttershy) I’m sure my bird friends would love to meet you.

“That’s enough Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy,” said a different voice as more ponies came into their field of vision. The corridor outside of their cell had suddenly become very crowded as another pegasus, this one with a cyan coat and prismatic mane and tail and a tattoo that looked like Zeus’ symbol, except with a rainbow lightning bolt;

Ditzy: Zeus later sued for copyright infringement.

two unicorns, one marshmallow-white

Doctor: We aren’t going to get ‘Rarity is a marshmallow’  jokes are we?

with a beautiful purple mane and tail with a tattoo of three sparkling diamonds, and the other lavender with a purple mane and tail that held a hot-pink streak with the mark of a pink star surrounded by white ones; an orange pony with a straw mane and tail wearing a cowboy hat with apples on her flank; a baby purple dragon with green spines; and two alicorns with flowing manes wearing crowns and impressive regalia, black on the midnight-blue alicorn and gold on the much taller white one. Sora’s eyes saw the marks on the flanks of the two alicorns, the smaller one with a crescent moon and the larger one with a radiant sun, and guessed that with their crowns that these two were the princesses Pinkie Pie had mentioned. It was the white alicorn who was speaking, “It is time we questioned these ponies properly, so that we’ll know exactly who they are and if they’re connected to those creatures.”

Doctor: Ah yes, because you arrive in a middle of a crisis with no warning mysteriously you’re obviously connected to whatever is happening. It couldn’t just be a random coincidence. (Sighs wearily)

“Sora, Sora!” Rei squealed, looking back and forth between the new arrivals and her older brother. “Look! Look! There are so many—alicorns! Alicorns!

Doctor: And how does she know what an Alicorn is? That term usually refers to the horn of a unicorn.

And unicorns and pegasuses and and…” her eyes rolled into the top of her head and she slumped forward.

Ditzy: She...got so excited she passed out?

Doctor: Hopefully.

Fear seized him completely for a moment and he shouted his sister’s name, falling onto his legs to catch her.

Ditzy: In slow motion.

He would have made it too, if she hadn’t suddenly been surrounded by a magenta glow and was held in place for an extra second before she gently fell onto his hooves. Sora looked up quizzically, and saw the purple unicorn’s horn glowing with the same colour as the light surrounding his sister. The glow faded, and all of Rei’s small weight now fell onto his hooves. Sora folded his legs underneath him and sat on the ground, placing Rei close to his side and wrapping a wing around her. He could feel her soft breathing touching his side, and Sora sighed.

Doctor: (Sora) This is almost as bad as the time we gave her coffee.

I guess it was too much for her, he thought, chuckling slightly now that he was sure she was alright. He looked up at the alicorns who stood in front of the other ponies, and noticed that the two unicorn guards were walking away, probably at the alicorn’s request. Riku and Kairi sidled up next to Sora and slightly in front of him, adding their bodies to the protection of their youngest member and Sora, knowing that lying down was not the way he’d have preferred to be interrogated.

Doctor: Why not? It’s comfortable and it annoys your captors.

Ditzy: They really are new to this.

“Who are you?” Riku asked sharply, his voice cracking like a whip. “Why are we locked up here?”

Ditzy: (Celestia) Fashion police. That young mare’s beret is a crime against all things fashionable.

“Forget who we are, darling,” the white unicorn said quickly, hearts in her eyes as she looked at him. “Who are you?”

Doctor: Poor, poor Spike.

Kairi smirked at Riku and whispered, “What was that about never getting a date again, Riku?”

“I said tolerable,” he hissed.

Ditzy: (Mumbling) Glad somepony isn’t falling for that hussy’s charms.

Doctor: What was that?

Ditzy: Nothing.

“I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria,” the white alicorn stated, “and I would like to make one thing clear.

Ditzy: (Celestia) We have no intention of letting any of you leave here alive!

Doctor: (Sora) What!

Ditzy: (Celestia) Just kidding.

We have detained you only because we know nothing about you, and recent events have put us into a state of caution.

Doctor: (Celestia) 53 suspicious ponies have already been detained today alone.

I do not know who you little ponies are or what your intentions are, but you arrived in a strange cloud on the heels of something we have never seen before in Equestria.

Doctor: I will have to research this once we get out of here.

Forgive me for having my guards lock you in here or not, but now is the time for answers, so I hope you will be forthcoming with them.”

Doctor: (Celestia) Or else.

Ditzy: (Sora) Or else what?! Do your worst!

Doctor: (Celestia) Pinkie. Do it.

Ditzy: (Pinkie singing) It's a piece of cake to make a pretty cake!

If the way is hazy!

You gotta do the cookin' by the book!

You know you can't be lazy!

Doctor: (Riku) Please stop!

Ditzy: (Kairi) No more please!

Doctor: (Sora) We’ll tell you anything!

“Great…” Riku muttered. “We’re about to be interrogated by a pony princess. Donald’s never going to let any of us hear the end of this one.”

Doctor: (Rolls eyes) Always worried about appearances aren’t you Riku?

“For starters,” Princess Celestia said, her eyes narrowing at Riku. “Who are you?”

Ditzy: (Pinkie) (Gasping) They’re humans turned into ponies from another world, sent here by a giant evil mouse with a portal slash muffin making device, they’re on a quest to stop the shadows, also known as the heartless,from stealing the hearts of others, to bring balance to all the worlds, and also find the Keepers of the Art , six legendary beings that hold the magic of the universe together just by existing, together have unrivaled magical power and have the ability to find any magical object, regardless of location, they are looking for Keepers so an evil meany pants mastermind called the Horned King can’t get his hands on them for some nefarious purpose, they do this by using a giant key sword called the Keyblade, something the Keepers of the Art can also use, it can purify the heartless, killings them for good, and has the ability to unlock any lock, as for their names, this is Sora, Riku, Kairi, Rei, and Jiminy, he’s a talking cricket!

Doctor: (Sora) What.

“I’m Sora,” Sora began as he typically did, “this is Kairi, Riku, and my little sister Rei. This guy here is Jiminy.”

Doctor: That was a good Pinkie impression. It’s frighteningly accurate.

Ditzy: Thank you. I have been working hard on it.

Doctor: What was with all that the Keeper stuff?

Ditzy: (Shrugs) Just something I made up.

Jiminy lifted his top hat again, and nodded at Princess Celestia. For the most part her face still held its stern expression, but it looked as though her eyes found the cricket somewhat charming.

“What was that cloud the four of you appeared in?” Celestia asked.

Ditzy: (Sora) It was a Lakitu's Cloud.

“It was a portal,” Kairi answered. “We were—”

The lavender unicorn interrupted her, her voice filled with excitement. “You know portal magic?”

Doctor: Portal magic? I will need to check up on that later.

The four of them glanced at each other again. Sora spoke up. “Rikku?” he asked curiously, extending his head towards the unicorn.

She shook her head in confusion. “Huh? Why are you looking at me? I thought you just said that he was Riku.” They all shook their heads.

“Sorry,” Kairi apologized for them. “This is Riku, with one ‘k’ in his name. We have another friend named Rikku, with two ‘k’s in her name, and you sound exactly like her.”

Ditzy: That must make things rather confusing.

“I must admit, your names sound strange on my tongue,” the midnight alicorn told them. “Sora, Riku, Kairi, Rei, and Jiminy. They certainly aren’t like many I’ve heard before.”

Ditzy: (Luna) They sound like bad Internet user names trying to sound foreign.

“Well, what are your names?” Riku asked. “Don’t we at least get to know who all of our interrogators are?”

The white alicorn sighed. “Alright. I suppose we can tell you that much before we continue. As I’ve already said, I’m Princess Celestia. This is my younger sister, Princess Luna,” she indicated the smaller alicorn beside her, “my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle,” the lavender unicorn, “her assistant, Spike,” the little dragon, “and her friends: Rarity,” the other unicorn, “Rainbow Dash,” the blue pegasus, “Applejack,” the orange pony in the hat, “Fluttershy,” she raised a hoof, “and Pinkie Pie.” The pink pony waved exuberantly at them.

Doctor: Was all that necessary? You just described what Twilight and her friends look like a few paragraphs ago.

“Now then,” Celestia continued, “you have also been detained because of the cutie marks you all bear. Few ponies have ever had weapons as—”

Doctor: (Celestia) Most ponies that get weapon based cutie marks are psychopathic killers.

“Wait,” Riku groaned, turning to look at Way to the Dawn’s image on his body. “You mean that this tattoo here is called a ‘cutie mark’? Oh gods, my street cred is ruined forever.”

Ditzy: That’s funny. The Doctor said the exact same thing.

Doctor: Well it’s true!

“You don’t have any street cred, Riku,” Sora sniped.

“Then what’s the team going to think if they find out about this?” he retorted.

Doctor: (Riku) They’ll drop pig’s blood on me again!

“Simple,” Kairi answered, “you don’t tell them.”

Doctor: Why would they believe any of this anyway?

“I need you two to pledge that too,” he ordered.

“We’re still in high school Riku,” Kairi reminded him, “we don’t even go to your university!”

“Swear it!”

Sora and Kairi both sighed tiredly. “Fine,”

Doctor: (Sora) You crybaby.

Sora agreed, “but not now. Princess Celestia’s giving us a funny look.”

Ditzy: (Kairi) I think she’s giving Riku ‘bedroom eyes’.

The white alicorn was indeed looking at them strangely, but now her face was far from stern; she seemed curious about what she would learn from this conversation more than anything.

Doctor: They really are bad at this. She doesn’t even need to interrogate them.

“Sister,” Princess Luna said softly, “they don’t seem to be bad ponies.”

“No, they don’t,” Celestia said, “but just because they don’t seem bad doesn’t mean that they aren’t. They could still be in league with those Shadows.”

Doctor: Since when is Celestia the paranoid one of the two sisters?

Ears perked up inside the cell. “Shadows?” Sora asked, removing his wing from Rei and standing up. “What did they look like?” Princess Celestia looked like she was about to remind him that she was doing the questioning, but the seriousness in Sora’s voice at his question held her back for a moment. Correctly interpreting her hesitation, Sora nodded to Jiminy, who quickly dove into Sora’s mane and came out a second later, bearing a book in his tiny hands. The cricket carried it down to the edge of Sora’s snout, which was now placed almost to the bars of the cell, and opened the book.

“Did they look like this?” Jiminy asked, showing the ponies a picture.

Doctor: (Luna) What does this strange creature dancing with a lampshade on his head have to do with the shadows?

Ditzy: (Riku harshly) The other picture Jiminy!

Princess Luna gasped. Her horn glowed with light, and the translucent image of a Shadow appeared on the floor beside her. “Yes, exactly like that,” she told them.

“How do you know about them?” Rainbow Dash’s abrasive voice asked, the cyan pegasus butting up against the bars. “Are you in cahoots with them? Are you spy ponies?”

“Oh no Dashie,” Pinkie Pie said with a giggle. “They already told me that they’re not.”

Doctor: Yep, that certainly clears everything up.

Ditzy: Doctor, you know she’s never wrong about this sort of thing.

Princess Celestia looked between the image Luna had conjured and the picture Jiminy was showing her. They were identical. “How do you know of the Shadows?” she asked.

Ditzy: (Sora) We meet them at one of Riku’s college parties. I remember the next day we caught Riku in bed with o…

Doctor: (Riku growling)

Ditzy: (Sora) Uh, nevermind.

“They’re called Heartless,” Sora explained seriously. “That kind there is actually called a Shadow, and it’s the weakest type of Heartless.”

“Heartless?” Rarity asked. “My, what an uncouth name.”

“Well they certainly were uncouth when they were attacking Trixie, Rarity,” Applejack said.

Doctor: (Rarity) Nonsense, I thought they attacked her with elegance and grace.

“Heartless,” Princess Luna murmured. “What do you know about these…‘Heartless’? Just how dangerous are they?”

“A lot, and very,” Riku answered. “The Heartless were first created as experiments by a man named Xehanort, who was researching the workings of the heart.

All: (Groans)

Doctor: Just the abridged version would be fine.

Almost all hearts have light and darkness within them, and usually the heart has a balance of them, or a little more of one than the other. When the darkness within a person’s heart consumes him or her, a Heartless is born and the darkness within them is given form. That’s what they are, creatures made of pure darkness from the hearts of all living things.”

Doctor: But didn’t you just say they were created by this Xehanort? Did Xehanort somehow cause this phenomenon to happen? I don’t understand this.

Ditzy: Heartless have always existed. Xehanort just created the emblem heartless. I think that is what he meant to say.

Doctor: Oh.

“Wait, hearts?” Twilight Sparkle asked. “But, that’s impossible! How can the organ used for pumping blood throughout the body possibly have ‘light’ or ‘darkness’ inside of it? It just doesn’t make any sense.”

“We’re not talking about that heart,” Sora told her. “What we’re talking about is the spiritual heart. Every living, sentient thing has a heart, a body, and a soul. When the heart is overcome with darkness, it becomes a Heartless.”

Doctor: (Twilight) That’s just as nonsensical! There have been many evil ponies throughout the centuries and there is no record of one of them ever becoming one of these Heartless!

“They’re mindless and instinctual,” Kairi added. “They only have one goal, and that’s to find hearts and consume them, turning them into more Heartless. Ultimately they hunger for the largest and most powerful hearts, and are always trying to find a way to get it.”

“You talk as if you know what that is,” Princess Celestia said. The three nodded.

“Kingdom Hearts,” they said together. “The heart of hearts; the heart of all worlds.”

“It’s just as powerful as you’d think,” Riku said. “The heart of all hearts, filled with light, and the Heartless and those who chase power are always after it.”

Doctor: Should you really be explaining this to them? It’s like giving directions to a world destroying superweapon to random passersby.

Princess Celestia nodded her head slowly. “I think that I already know the answer to this next question from your answers, but I need to make absolutely sure, how do you three know so much about these Heartless?”

Ditzy: (Kairi) We run a Heartless fan club. We call ourselves Hearties.

“We fight them,” Kairi declared, fierce pride in her voice, as if daring Princess Celestia to contradict her.

Doctor: Settle down. No one is questioning your capability as a Keyblade wielder.  

Ditzy: I guess the fact that she gets ignored so much has really gotten to her.

“Then you are not the enemies we had thought you might be,” the princess said with relief. “Here, let me unlock this cell for you.”

Sora smiled and shook his head. “There’s no need for that,” he told her.

“What do you mean?” Princess Luna asked.        

“Are yah trying to say that y’all actually like it in there?” Applejack wondered.

Ditzy: (Sora) I swiped the keys from the guards when they weren’t looking.

Sora just laughed. “No, but you wanted to know about these…ugh, cutie marks, right?”

Doctor: (Sora) I don’t think my masculinity will ever be the same after saying that.

A bright flash of light appeared at his mouth, and suddenly his teeth were clenching an obsidian weapon that was almost as long as his body. He enjoyed the looks of surprise on their faces at the Oblivion Keyblade’s appearance in his mouth, but he sighed. Here was another form where he had to hold the Keyblade with his teeth; his neck was going to kill him for this.

Ditzy: Just...hold it with your hooves?

Doctor: Ditzy, I don’t think that would be immediately apparent to anyone.

Ditzy: Why not?

Striding up to the cell door, he tapped the backside of the lock with the tip of the Oblivion. The lock clicked open, and he nudged the door open with his snout. He did not exit, though.

Doctor: The guards jumped him before he could.

The Oblivion disappeared from his mouth in another flash of light, and Sora, Riku, and Kairi all laughed at the stunned looks on the faces of the ponies in front of them. “That’s the Keyblade,” Riku explained. “It chooses its wielder, and can lock or unlock any lock and is able to unlock the power sleeping within its wielder’s heart. The Heartless fear the Keyblade, because it’s the only thing with the power to destroy them completely, so they swarm its wielders to eliminate their fear and steal the heart of its chosen. A Keyblade only chooses wielders with strong hearts, and Kairi, Rei, and I have Keyblades as well.”

Ditzy: An OC with a keyblade, how original.

“My, my, my,” Rarity said. “You’re full of surprises aren’t you, Riku?”

Princess Celestia appeared more stunned than impressed as she just stared at Sora.

Doctor: Remember, thousands of years of experience.

 “That means that with the Keyblade, you could have unlocked the door and left anytime you liked, and you probably would have defeated my guards before they could react, too.”

“Well, yeah,” Kairi answered, smiling to herself, “but it’s not like we really would have.

Ditzy: (Roxas) I would have!

Doctor: (Sora) Shut up Roxas!

Sure we were annoyed and all, but we wouldn’t have busted out unless we were convinced that we were locked up in a bad guy’s dungeon, and none of you seem like bad guys.”

“We sure aren’t,” Applejack said, “but now Ah have just one question for y’all.”

“Shoot.”

Ditzy: (Applejack) Is that Riku feller single?

Doctor: (Riku) Relevant questions!

“Ah couldn’t help but notice that y’all have been using a lot of words we’re a little unfamiliar with. Where yah from?”

The trio looked at each other. “Do we break world order again?” Kairi asked.

Doctor: Pffft. World order.

“We got turned into ponies; I don’t care anymore Kairi,” Riku deadpanned.

“It’s not like it really matters either,” Sora said. “No matter what King Triton said that one time, too much stuff’s been happening to try and keep it a secret.”

Doctor: (Sora) It has already been leaked on the internet.  

” Kairi said, nodding. The three turned to the gathering in front of them.

“To answer your question…Applejack, right?” Sora asked. The orange earth pony nodded her head, and he continued. “To answer your question, Riku and I are from Destiny Islands, Kairi’s the lost princess of Radiant Garden, and Jiminy is from Land of Wishes; but Jiminy’s been living in Disney Castle for the last while and Kairi’s been with Riku and me on Destiny Islands since she was five.”

Doctor: Do you always tell everyone your life story? If I did that, I would never get anywhere.

“Destiny Islands? Radiant Garden? Disney Castle?” Fluttershy asked. “I’m sorry, but I’ve never heard of places like that in Equestria.”

Doctor: That sounds more like a Twilight line.

“That’s because they aren’t from Equestria,” Princess Celestia said as the realization came to her. Coltinster had been right all along. “They’re from other worlds outside.”

Doctor: Wait, wait... If she knows about the existence of other worlds. Why didn’t she hypothesize that the Heartless were from another world from the start?

“So they’re space ponies?” Pinkie asked excitedly. “Ooh, that’s even more wonderful than them being humans!”

“Nope, we’re human,” Sora apologized, “but we got turned into ponies when that portal dumped us here in Equestria.”

“Yes, the portal,” Twilight Sparkle said, shaking her head back and forth as if trying to sort out one of the thousand questions she probably had.

Ditzy: Several of them had to with Riku’s eligibility and the size of his ‘you know’.

“How were you able to work it?”

Sora smiled sheepishly. “That’s just it, we didn’t. The portal bringing us here was an accident.” Kairi sighed.

“We were fighting an enemy of ours, and an old rival of our friend King Mickey, when he pulled out a device that had been stolen from a scientist we’re acquainted with,” she said. “It was Professor Ludwig Von Drake’s Snazzy Portalmatic

Doctor: Insert ‘The Cake is a Lie’ joke here.

Muffin Maker 3000.

Doctor: Why muffins?

Ditzy: Yeah, it’s not like automatic muffins makers are any good anyway! I’ve checked!

Mortimer zapped us with the portal part of the device, and the next thing we knew we woke up here, like this.”

Rarity rushed through the open door up to Kairi and took a pink hoof of Kairi’s into two of her white ones. “Oh, you poor dear,” she said. “You must be absolutely horrified.”

Kairi smiled amusedly. “Why would I be? We’re in a world of ponies.”

Doctor: (Kairi) Sora and Riku on the other hand won’t stop whining about all man points they have lost.

Ditzy: I’m still confused about that.

“Because just look at your chapeau,” the unicorn replied. “Oh dear, that raspberry…thing on your head just clashes awfully with your wonderful scarlet mane.”

Kairi frowned. “Are you insulting my hat?”

Ditzy: Kairi, your hat makes a pony’s eyes bleed.

Doctor: It’s almost as bad as that one coat I used to wear.

Ditzy: Come on Doctor. It wasn’t that bad.

Doctor: Really?

Ditzy: No.

Doctor: ….

“Come, come now dear, I have just the thing that will really highlight those eyes of yours and go with your mane back in my shop in Ponyville. There’s no need for a fashion disaster like that hideous beret to be on top of your head.”

Kairi smacked Rarity’s hoof away. “You aren’t touching my hat,” she said evenly. “It’s a symbol of my individuality and artist’s soul.”

Ditzy: I’m sorry to hear that.

Doctor: (Kairi) It’s true art. You wouldn’t understand.

That and Naminé would have a conniption if she got rid of it, Roxas chuckled. It’s more her hat than Kairi’s.

Ditzy: I don’t still don’t see why she has to wear the thing.

“Bu—but, you’re completely lacking in fabulosity,” Rarity said. “Why, a beautiful pegasus like yourself should be showing off her beauty in every way, not dousing it with a ridiculous hat like that. Why would you ever wear something so tacky?”

Kairi just smiled sweetly and turned to look coyly at Sora. “Sora,

Ditzy: (Kairi) Get out your keyblade.

would you mind showing Rarity why I wear this hat?”

Don’t do it man!

Ditzy: (Roxas) Don’t kill again for her sake! She isn’t worth it!

Suck it up you baby, I’m doing it anyway.

Whipped.

So are you.

Sora just smiled at Roxas’ silence, and took a step towards Kairi. “And that’s when I saw her. Ooh, I saw her; she walked in through the ‘out’ door, ‘out’ door.”

“Tell me he didn’t just break into song,” Twilight grumbled.

Doctor: Sora is going to fit into Equestria quite well I think.

“He did,” Riku laughed. Pinkie Pie beamed as Sora continued unabated.

“She wore a raspberry beret,

The kind you find in a second-hand store.

Raspberry beret.

And if it was warm, she wouldn’t wear much more.

Raspberry beret,” he nuzzled his cheek against Kairi’s. “I think I looove her.”

Ditzy: Not bad. It just needs some dancing, then it would be perfect.

“So those two are coltfriend and marefriend?” Applejack asked, looking to Riku for answers.

“We humans call them boyfriend and girlfriend, but yes.”

Ditzy: Ponies use those terms too, just not that often.

Rarity gulped. “Well, I guess that if your coltfriend adores it, then I really can’t say much against it, much though it does not go with your mane at all, darling.”

Doctor: (Rarity) Even though it’s quite apparent he must be completely color blind.

Kairi laughed. “Don’t worry. I know raspberry doesn’t go too well with my hair, but I like it, and it goes much better with white-blonde so there’s no way Naminé would let me get rid of it even if I wanted to.”

Doctor: How exactly?

“Naminé?” Twilight asked. “Who’s Naminé?”

“My Nobody,” Kairi answered simply.

“What’s a Nopony?” Pinkie asked.

All: A miserable little pile of secrets!

Her question wasn’t answered right away, since a small groan now issued out of the youngest pony present.

Doctor: Yes I know. It’s a terrible pun.

Sora craned his neck down next to where Rei was lying down.

“Hey Rei, you feeling okay now?”

Her eyes stayed closed as she opened her mouth. “I had the best dream ever, Sora-nii-chan. We were hit by the portal machine and when we woke up Riku and I were unicorns and you and Kairi were pegasuses, and there were ponies everywhere.”

Doctor: (Rei) And you, and you, and you, and you were there! But you couldn't have been, could you?

“Heh, you’re not dreaming squirt,” Rainbow Dash said. “And it’s pronounced ‘pegasi’.”

Rei’s eyes flew open and she bounded onto her hooves. A huge smile took up her face. “It’s real! It’s really real!”

“Hey Sora, why is yer little sis all excited and all? Don’t yah have ponies where yer from?”

“We do,” Kairi answered instead of Sora, “but—”

Doctor: (Kairi) We eat them as a delicacy.

Princess Celestia giggled audibly, shutting out Kairi’s impending explanation. “Now that this bright little filly’s awake again, I think this ‘interrogation’ is through.

Doctor: (Luna) That isn’t fair sister, we didn’t get a chance to do good princess bad princess yet. We were rather looking forward to it.

Come with me, Sora, Kairi, Riku, Rei, Jiminy. As enemies of the Heartless, I imagine you’d like to know about their presence here in Equestria, and you’d like to be out of this dinky old cell now that I count you as allies.”

“Well, that would be nice,” Sora said.

Ditzy: (Roxas) I don’t know. I rather like it in here.

Doctor: (Sora) No one asked you Roxas.

“Princess, are you sure about this?” Twilight Sparkle asked. “I mean, we’ve only just met them. What do we really know about them?”

“My dear Twilight Sparkle,” Princess Celestia replied patiently, “what did you really know about your friends when you went to find the Elements of Harmony in the Everfree Forest?”

Doctor: That is the most in-character thing Celestia has said this entire story.

Twilight’s silence spoke more than enough for Sora to be comforted that the unicorn would tentatively trust them.

Ditzy: Despite all the dirty looks she was giving him.

In the short time since they’d met, he’d already decided that he trusted these ponies. None of them seemed evil or malicious in any way, and even though he had been confined it was only because they’d been taking precautions in turbulent times.

“Come along my little ponies,” Princess Celestia said, motioning with her head. “Let’s go and talk in a more pleasant location.”

“Ooh! Now I can throw all of you a ‘Getting-out-of-jail-on-good-behaviour-so-you-can-kick-flank-and-save-the-day’ party!” shouted Pinkie Pie.

Ditzy: (Pinkie) Though it will be tricky to fit that all on the welcoming banner.

 “Princess Celestia, can we use the ballroom?”

The Sun Princess glanced at her sister. “What do you think Luna? Should we host a party for our new friends here?”

“I don’t see why not,” Luna answered,

Doctor: (Luna) We are looking forward to getting ‘giggy with it’.

“so long as it does not get too loud as to wake me from my sleep.” Pinkie Pie shouted in excitement and galloped off so quickly that a Pinkie Pie shaped dust cloud was left behind. “If you’ll forgive me, Celestia,” Luna continued, “I really should be getting to bed now. Please, do let me know when it is time to raise the moon.”

Ditzy: (Luna) We accidently destroyed our alarm clock the previous night.

“As always, my sister,” Princess Celestia said. “You’ve done well last night and today. You’ve earned your rest.”

Ditzy: (Celestia) Sucker. I think the moon can stay down for a few more hours.

“I’ll rest easy, knowing that everything is in good hooves,” the midnight mare replied. She turned to the new arrivals. “It was nice meeting you, Sora, Riku, Kairi, Jiminy, Rei. If there is anything you should require, do not hesitate to ask my sister or I.” Princess Luna left then at a quick trot.

Ditzy: (Luna) And yes Riku, we will gladly meet you in our bed chamber later.

Twilight Sparkle’s horn glowed with magenta light again, and she opened the cell door further and held it there with her magic. “Well, come on everypony. Let’s get going then.” Riku, Kairi, and Rarity all walked out of the cell while Sora stayed and waited for Rei. She had frozen up again, but this time it didn’t seem like she’d been paralyzed from over-excitement.

Ditzy: The wild Rei is paralyzed! It can’t move!

“Rei, what is it?” he asked quietly.

“Onii-chan,” she said, staring at Twilight Sparkle. “She’s one of them.”

Doctor: Oh no. Not them!

Ditzy: Is Twilight secretly possessed by a brain slug?

Sora, Riku, and Kairi all stopped and turned to look at the lavender unicorn. Twilight Sparkle looked at them strangely.

Ditzy: (Twilight) What? Is there something in my teeth?

“One of what?” asked Spike the dragon, revealing at last that he could talk just as well as any of the ponies. “What’s Twilight one of?”

Ditzy: She did it so Riku could get a good look at her flank.

I only hope Twilight will take this as well as Zelda did, Sora thought, glancing over his shoulder.

Doctor: (Sora) They don’t call her the ‘Massacre Princess’ for nothing.

-G-M-

And apparently I’ve still got it. >12 000 words written for a single chapter in little over three days.

Doctor: Impressive, but it would have been far more enjoyable if you cut out all the needless explaining and descriptions. The pacing slowed to a crawl near the end.

Ditzy: For awhile I was worried it would never end.

Shadow Horizons, I’m sorry that I haven’t worked on Annals of Darkness in this time.

Ditzy: (Shire Folk) I was busy playing World of Warcraft.

I really need to get past that King Mickey fighting the hordes of Heartless block in order to get into the meat of that battle. Perhaps I should just listen to “The Encounter” on repeat.

Ditzy: (Shire Folk) Unfortunately, I can barely stomach the song now.

May the Grace of the Valar Protect You

Shire Folk

All: Thanks Celestia!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Now Doctor. “ Ditzy said in a stern tone. “I want you to be cleaned up and ready by 6. Dinner should be finished by then.”

“Yes yes.” Doctor said dismissively. He waved his hoof for emphasis. Ditzy did this to him almost every day. He was starting to get tired of it.

“I’m planning on making green bean casserole. How does that sound?”

The Doctor perked up at this. “Sounds fantastic.”

The two went their separate ways. Ditzy walked to the kitchen. She had a lot of work ahead of her. She still has to make those muffins for Dinky, with extra for her and the Doctor of course. She also thought about making a fruit salad to accompany the casserole. While setting up she thought of Sora and his friends and their bizarre and hilarious reactions to be turned into a pony. It was a so different to how the Doctor reacted. She thought back to when she first meet him.

Ditzy gently flew through the air on her way to the last stop on her route Sweet Apple Acres.  She was wearing her postmare’s cap with her mail bag hanging around her back. She was eager to finish her work for today. The Summer Sun Celebration was tomorrow and she planning to stay up all night partying with her friends to celebrate.

“Hey Ditzy!” A cheery, hyperactive voice shouted to her.

“Oh hi Pinkie Pie!” Ditzy waved to her and landed next to her. The pink party pony looked even more enthusiastic than usual. Ditzy had a hunch what that meant.

“Guess what! Guess what!”  Pinkie bounced around Ditzy happily.

“Uh, what?”

“There’s a new pony in town! And I’m throwing her a super awesome super duper party at the library today!” Pinkie was grinning ear to ear. Ditzy admired Pinkie’s enthusiasm.

“I would love to come.” As strange as Pinkie could be sometimes, she throws one heck of a party. “What time is it?”

“Nine! Be there or be a circle!”

“Sure. See you there!” Ditzy started taking off to finish her route.

“Wait!” Pinkie yelled suddenly surprising Ditzy and causing her to land on her face.

“Oww.” She rubbed her face. “What?”

“Don’t go that way!” Pinkie pointed road that was going a completely different direction to where Ditzy was going. “Go thatta way!”

Ditzy paused for a moment. “What? Why? My last stop isn’t…”

                Pinkie interrupted her. “No no no! It’s super duper ultra important you go this way!”

 “I...uh… don’t understand.” Ditzy looked at Pinkie confused.

“Trust me. Fate of Equestria… No! The world will change if you don’t! The world!” Pinkie waved in the air frantically. She looked at Ditzy straight in the eyes and at a distance Ditzy found really uncomfortable. Pinkie was almost nose to nose with her and had a completely serious expression. It was starting to scare Ditzy.

“Um, sure. Why not?” Ditzy nodded uneasily.

“Goody. You won’t regret this!” Pinkie started to bounce to wherever. “Later Ditzy! See you at the party!” She waved back to Ditzy.

“Sure.” Ditzy replied nervously and gave a hesitant wave. “See you there.”

 “Strange pony.” Ditzy thought to herself. “Should I go the way she said? Why the hay not? It isn’t that out of my way anyway.”

                The path did eventually lead to a road that went Sweet Apple Acres. It didn’t put her that out of her way. And Pinkie’s uncanny instincts were never wrong. So why not? She had plenty of time to gather her friends Bon Bon, Berry Punch, and Golden Harvest and head to the party at the library.

                Ditzy walked the path Pinkie suggested, but much to her disappointment, nothing happened at all. She was almost at Sweet Apple Acres now. “Pinkie is such a silly filly.” Ditzy thought to herself. She froze when she heard a strange sound. She looked to see where the sound was coming from and gasped when she large blue object drop from the sky in a fireball towards a nearby apple field near the Everfree Forest. It crashed with a loud boom.

                “What the hay was that!?” Ditzy exclaimed. She rushed over to the crash site to investigate.

                In the distance Ditzy could see a large crater. A few apple trees were destroyed by the crash. She peered into the crater and inside it was a large blue box with ‘Police Box’ on top of it standing tall slightly impacted in the ground at an angle. The thing was miraculously intact especially considering it looked like it was made of wood.

Ditzy stared at it in shock. This wasn’t what she expected to find. She slowly walked up to it and touched it with her hoof for a quick second. The thing wasn’t even hot surprisingly. Ditzy jumped in the air in surprise when she heard a creaking sound. The door of the thing opened.

                Ditzy contemplated what she should do. “Ok, this thing is obviously from space. It crashed landed so whatever came inside this thing might be hurt! It says police box so maybe some alien police officer might be in there! Or a criminal… No, it doesn’t matter. They might be hurt!”

Ditzy paused to think for a moment. “But what if it attacks me and lays its eggs in me!” Ditzy started to tense up. Aliens was one of her favorite movies and she vividly remembered what the aliens did to ponies in that movie. “No you’re being silly. It probably isn’t even alien at all. Some weird new device created for police ponies to help them get around or something.”

Ditzy shook her head. “There isn’t such thing as little green ponies from space.” Ditzy chuckled at this. “Here to steal our stallions I bet.” She laughed to herself at this absurd thought.

“Okay, get yourself together Ditzy. Somepony might be hurt in there.” She slowly approached the door and peered inside. “But any sign of weird alien eggs, bolt away as far as you can.” Ditzy nodded and steeled her nerves and entered the blue box.

The place was trashed. Debris was everywhere. Many of the strange branches that came from the domed ceiling were broken. Broken rubber tubes hanged from the ceiling. The console with its strange and random looking levers and dials looked half destroyed. The glass tube in the middle of the console had cracks in it. What really caught Ditzy’s eye was the figure underneath the console. She gasped. There was blood on part of the console.

 “Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!” Ditzy started to panic. She rushed to the figure to get a good idea of his injuries before rushing for help.

He was a stallion with a grayish amber coat and a darker amber mane and he was wearing a brown suit with a light brown overcoat. For some reason, his outfit didn’t fit him at all. It was too large and didn’t look like something a pony should wear. Not that this mattered to her at this moment. She was too busy frantically checking for injuries.

She expected a serious head wound when she examined him, but didn’t find anything. He looked completely unharmed. “Huh, that’s weird. He looks fine.”

The stallion stirred. Ditzy instinctively stepped back. He opened his eyes. “Oh hello!”

“Are you okay!?”

“A talking equine of some kind! Fancy that! I’ve never seen anything like you before!” He said in a cheery tone then turned serious. “What’s with your eyes? They’re going cross-eyed.”

“I….uh.” Ditzy was offended at the offhooved comment about her condition. “That isn’t important! I think you hit your head. Are you okay?”

“Me? Just fine! Just dandy!” He said with a smile. “I’m the Doctor! And you are?”

“Um. I’m Ditzy. Ditzy Doo.” She said hesitantly.

“It’s nice to meet you Ditzy!” He rose up on all four hooves, and then for some reason tried to stand on his back two legs. Ditzy stared at him in confusion. “I can’t seem to stand on my legs properly.”

“Oh course. Ponies don’t walk on two legs like a bear. That’s just silly.”

“Ponies?” The Doctor pulled up his sleeve and revealed a brown hoof. “Well what do you know? I’m a pony now.” He laughed.” That’s new. It must have happened when I regenerated.” He looked at his new hoof in total fascination.

“Regeneration?” Ditzy was starting to get a headache. Nothing in the last ten minutes has made any sense at all. She was starting to miss the simpler times of ten minutes ago.

“Never changed species before.” He sounded rather amused. “This will be interesting.”

“Change species?!” Ditzy put her hoof to her head. She could feel her headache getting worse. Still it did explain a few things.

“Am I ginger?” The Doctor asked with a pleading look.

“No, you’re mane is chestnut I think.”

        The Doctor gave a dejected look. “Darn it.” He sighed and shaked his head. “Oh well, maybe next time.”

        Ditzy gave the Doctor another confused look. The Doctor tried his hoof at walking but only fell face first into the ground. “Ouch. This is harder than it looks.”

“It might help if you take off those clothes. They don’t fit you at all.”

                “That might be a good idea.” He looked Ditzy over. He noticed that she did in fact have wings. He wasn’t just imagining it. “Do ponies always go around without clothes?”

                “Yeah. Someponies like to wear clothes all time though. I don’t bother with them myself.”

                “Someponies? Really?” The Doctor looked at her incredulously then shook his head a few moments later. “Makes sense since you do have fur. Not wearing clothing will be a bit awkward to get use to.”

                The Doctor pulled his overcoat off with his teeth and got his pants and undergarments off with no trouble. Unbuttoning his suit gave him some difficulty since he didn’t have any fingers anymore, but eventually got it off with this teeth and tongue. Under his breath he complained about how much he missed having fingers. The tie gave him the most trouble, but he eventually got it off. Ditzy marveled at the amount of clothes he used to wear and wondered if he place he came from was really cold. Eventually he got everything off.

                “Finally!” The Doctor said in an exasperated voice. He suddenly realized he was completely naked in front of Ditzy. Who was clearly female and also naked. He blushed at this. “Yeah, definitely awkward.”  

                Ditzy smiled at these memories. The Doctor always had a weird way of approaching things. Changed into a completely different species and trapped in a completely different universe? It was just a brand new experience for him to enjoy. That is what she liked about him. Despite his age and experience, we approached the universe like a wide eyed child. It always brought a smile to her.

“Wait,” Riku groaned, turning to look at Way to the Dawn’s image on his body. “You mean that this tattoo here is called a ‘cutie mark’? Oh gods, my street cred is ruined forever.” Next Chapter: Episode 4 - Guardians of Magic - Chapter 3 Estimated time remaining: 29 Hours, 11 Minutes