Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater

by Rixizu

Episode 9 - Part 3

The town was bathed in screams as ponies were either being tortured or killed on the spot.

Ditzy: T-tortured?

Doctor: The Griffons are suppose to be the bad guys. Can you tell?

The Gryphons had gone for the most vulnerable town in Equestria.

Doctor: Why? Why not go after the one with the most strategic value?

Ditzy: Why are they attacking civilians first?

Doctor: I guess the Griffons don’t care about little things like war crimes.

Twilight and the others, along with the nearly-dead Gilda, were surrounded by four elite Gryphon hunters. One of them stood right in front of Twilight, his head arched down.

“What are any of you going to do? Ponies are weak,

Ditzy: You’re in for a surprise! Twilight is going to wipe the floor with you in seconds!

Doctor: (Sighs) Are you really this stupid?

so there must be some reason that bitch over there chose you over her kind.

Doctor: It’s called compassion.

What was it? Was it the fear she inspired that made her feel like she was on top of the world? Was she turned by that pitiful flight school up in Cloudsdale? Perhaps she just likes the plot.”

Ditzy: Is the concept of friendship that foreign to you?

The gryphon reached a talon over and grabbed Twilight’s flank, making her blush as well as cry out in slight pain.

Doctor: Really? Are we really going here?

Ditzy: Like Twilight hasn’t suffered enough.

He let go immediately; he was not about to touch a pony any longer than he had to, disgusting creatures as they were in his eyes.

Ditzy: (Sighs) Okay, we get it. He’s evil.

“So what makes you all so special? Perhaps you over there can tell me?” the hunter looked at Rainbow Dash as he spoke.

Ditzy: (Rainbow) Ha! You’re talking to the one and only pony to ever perform a sonic rainboom!

Twilight took the chance to erect a barrier. The gryphon drew his head back, one of his feathers scorched as it touched the surface. He grinned.

“Not bad, pony. But there was a reason we were such formidable enemies to you ponies centuries ago. Our bodies produce a natural oil that acts as a solution for anti-magic. That barrier won’t hold long enough for you to gasp.”

All: How convenient.

Doctor: That doesn’t make as immune to magic as you think. Sounds like something that can be easily worked around.

Ditzy: Yeah, like what if Twilight threw a rock at him at high speeds?

Doctor: If magic fire was thrown at him, does that mean he is immune to the heat the fire creates?

The Gryphon clenched his talon and punched the barrier.

Doctor: Wait. If Griffons are naturally immune to magic, why was Twilight able to catch Gilda with her magic?

Ditzy: And why did it scorch one of his feather?

Sure enough, it shattered, knocking Twilight back into Fluttershy who yelped in surprise. The gryphons around their leader laughed as he did, their chortles sounding like a train wreck.

Ditzy: Are you kidding me! Twilight is pretty much the next Star Swirl the Bearded! It shouldn’t be this easy!

Doctor: Clearly this is just a contrivance so Spike can play the hero.

“So, which of you ponies has the guts to try and fight me? I mean, you won’t have any guts afterward, but you might as well show them to me before I rip ‘em out! So, who’s first?” he demanded.

Ditzy: (Griffon) Boy I love being evil! Hey Lloyd, after this how about we burn down a puppy farm?

Among the screams, there was an indescribable sound that repeated. It grew louder and clear as it approached. The leader tilted his head as he tried to make the word out.

“-ne, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine!”

Ditzy: Seagulls?

The next thing any pony or gryphon saw/heard was a loud crashing sound, followed by bones breaking and a squawk from the gryphons’ leader.

Doctor: Well that didn’t take very long.

Ditzy: Beaten by seagulls, how humiliating.

A cloud of dust erupted from the impact and everyone’s vision was barred as sounds continued to escape the wall. Ripping and chewing sounds could be heard, as well as more bone breaking. The dust showed no sign of clearing, but it was forced apart by two large, very strange wings that hung upside down from a Purple and green Dragon’s back.

Ditzy: I still have no idea why he can’t have normal wings.

Doctor: Those wings aren’t cool fic, stop trying to convince us otherwise.

The ponies looked at him in awe. He was completely different from the Spike they’d seen before. He was wild and without sense.

Ditzy: He started prancing around while doing ballet.

His clawed hands were stained in gryphon blood and what was once the surrounding gryphons’ leader was now a shredded husk of red meat and feathers, with bites taken out of it.

Doctor: (Spike) Despite what you might think, Griffons don’t taste like chicken.

Spike’s tail flicked up and down, showing sharp, pointy barbs on the end.

Ditzy: He must ruin a lot of furniture with that thing.

The gryphons took one look at him and realised their primary target was standing right in front of them.

Ditzy: (Griffon) Oh hi! Can I get an autograph? I’m a huge fan!

“You son of a bitch!” one of the gryphons shouted out at him. While Spike would have made a comment on that, he just growled with glee and swung his tail.

Ditzy: Spile used Tail Whip! Enemy Griffon defence fell!

The gryphon was impaled on the spikes immediately. The muscles in the dragon’s tail worked with ease as the husk of yet another gryphon was lifted into the air and sent flying upward. He then shot toward the other two, his wings causing a trail of dirt to follow on each side of him. With two gryphons left, he went for the one on the left first. He grabbed its head and jumped over it. He grabbed the gryphon by the beak with two hands and used his weight and momentum to force the gryphon’s head to lift backwards. There was a sharp crack and the body went limp. With weight beginning to press on Spike, he flipped the gryphon open and forced it to eat dirt, resulting in its face being smashed in. He then went for the last gryphon that was too stunned by the sight of his comrades’ demise to move. With his head caught in Spike’s grip, he cried out for reinforcements before his skull caved in and he was silent as the aftermath of this battle would become.

Ditzy: That’s it? He just wins easily? Come on!

Out of immediate danger, Spike turned to his friends and approached them. Needless to say, most, especially Fluttershy were so scared of what he’d done that they backed away. Rainbow Dash remained behind to protect Gilda.

“Yep! Just gonna stand here and keep bein’ awesome!” Spike declared as he knelt down and examined the wounded Gilda, much to Dash’s displeasure.

Doctor: Sure, don’t ask if they are okay or anything.

Ditzy: How are you awesome when everything is written in your favor?

“Spike… how did you do that? That was amazing!” Twilight said, avoiding eye contact with the bloody masses behind her.

Ditzy: She’s taking the fact that she just saw several Griffons brutally murdered right in front of her rather well. I think I would be throwing up right now.

“Uh, hello? Awesome… right here!” Spike said as he gestured to himself.

Doctor: That...doesn’t answer her question.

Rainbow Dash made an involuntary huff at that. “Second only to the fastest Pegasus in Equestria.” he added afterward. Spike made one last quick observation.

Ditzy: (Spike) Please, I could do a sonic rainboom no problem.

“Looks like Gilda’s gonna be fine. You should take her to Zecora so she can quicken the healing process.” he said, standing to his feet.

Ditzy: Zecora is a good at herbs and remedies and everything, but you should really get her to a doctor.

“Wait, what about you?” Twilight asked, seeming to be the only one capable of forming words among her friends.

Doctor: The author couldn’t afford them having speaking lines.

“I’m going to look for Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.” he said. With those names brought up, Applejack and Rarity both called out their respective siblings’ names, while Dash called out Scootaloo’s.

“Spike, please hurry. Big Mac’s probably trying his best to protect them, but if he’s going up against anything like those gryphons, he won’t last much longer.” Twilight said urgently. Spike grinned at her and nodded.

“Make tracks then. We’ll meet you at Zecora’s.” Before he could fly away to save the younger fillies, Twilight pulled the dragon down to her level and gave him a strong kiss. There was a smashing sound as the wards placed around Spike’s body solidified and smashed to pieces. Spike felt like a large weight had been lifted off of his body as his scales darkened slightly.

Ditzy: So the power of love broke the wards that are restricting his magic?

“War is hell.” he said.

Doctor: Don’t give me that. You are enjoying every minute of this.

With a single powerful flap, he was sky high, looking down on Ponyville. He then noticed a large platoon of gryphons flying in formation headed for the already defenceless town. He grinned with glee as his magic flowed through him like adrenaline.

“Your majesty, you brought me a present?!” he began to laugh as the magic in him built up. With a loud roar, his wings transformed into a pair of giant arms.

Ditzy: Which caused him to fall to his death. The End.

A small sphere of dark purple energy formed between the hands, flashing with green electricity as it grew.

Ditzy: Why? That won’t even work.

Spike’s voice grew distorted and echoed throughout Ponyville. He imagined every head turned towards him as he unleashed the dark ball upon the oncoming reinforcements. In the distance, the swarm could be seen scattering. But it was useless as the ball exploded into a wave of dark energy and a dense cloud of red replaced the gryphons as their bodies exploded upon contact with the wave.

Ditzy: I thought they were immune to magic. Twilight’s magic couldn’t do anything and she is one the most powerful unicorns ever!

Doctor: (Sighs) Not if Spike is involved I guess.

The crusaders, along with Big Mcintosh, were staring up at the sky in wonder as somepony they didn’t know destroyed a stealth unit of gryphons. The group that had surrounded the four took to the air in search of their new target, leaving the crusaders with a badly injured Big Mac. He collapsed to the ground as his legs buckled.

Ditzy: So they beat him easily? But he should have been able to take out at least a few Griffons!

Doctor: It seems Spike is the only one that can do anything.

“Mcintosh!” Applebloom cried as the three fillies gathered around the battered stallion.

“Now girls… y’all have ta get ta safety. Make your way to Zecora’s. Ah’ve a feelin’ Applejack and the others will be there. Leave me behind and go, now… git!” Mcintosh croaked as his words fell in deaf ears. The young mares didn’t budge, but remained by his side.

“Ah won’t leave you, big bro!” Applebloom cried into his coat.

“And we’re not leaving Applebloom.” Sweetie Belle added. Scootaloo said nothing as she wished she had somepony to run to.

To all their dismay, a lone gryphon landed neatly near them. “Ooh, this must be my lucky day. Two ponies full of apples and a couple of scrawny toothpicks for afters.” she said, cracking her talons.

Doctor: You do realize your army is being decimated right now right? Not really the time for this sort of thing.

Ditzy: Is it possible for the Griffons to be any more of a cliche villain?

 The fillies leaned into the large stallion, ready for their demise as the gryphon raised her talon over her head, ready to strike. She was about to when something landed between her and her prey. A gryphon had fallen to his death, the force of impact with the ground crushed his body. his talon stuck up in the air, the claws bent at unnaturally odd angles. His wings had been ripped from his body, enabling the fall. The female began to fret as she felt a presence near her.

Ditzy: Way to go Spike! Completely traumatize the fillies!

“What you looking at dugong?” a creepy, distorted voice called out from above.

Ditzy: I like how Spike completely ruins any menace he has when he opens his mouth.

She looked up to see the blackened body of a dragon with his arms crossed, just hovering horizontally above her.

Doctor: (Spike) I’m disappointed in you missy.

“Dragon?” she asked.

“Crazy gryphon. Whoops, tautology!”

Doctor: That was just racist.

He threw his leg toward the gryphon, his clawed foot kicking her head into the ground. The impact made a small crater that stopped just short of the four ponies.

Ditzy: So are we ever going to get any fights that are actually interesting and actually challenge Spike?

Doctor: Nope. Spike is too ‘cool’ and powerful for that.

“Hello, fillies and Gentlecolts. Tonight’s special is kick-ass gryphon death with a serving of pony rescues on the side.” he said, landing gracefully in front of the ponies.

Doctor: Would you stop it with the terrible one liners already?

Ditzy: Spike thinks he’s an action movie hero or something.

“Spike, we can’t leave Big Mac. He’s too injured to move and Applebloom won’t leave him.” Scootaloo said, jumping up to him. She ignored the black scales and green eyes.

“You say that like it’s a problem. You’re talking to the most bitchin’ dragon this side of Celestia’s rule.”

Doctor: This fic sure likes to go out of its way to remind us how ‘awesome’ Spike is.

The black dragon took in a deep breath and blew a massive green flame at the remaining three ponies. They disappeared from there instantly, undoubtedly headed for Zecora’s. Scootaloo shuddered at the memory of going through the fire.

Ditzy: Is that even safe?

Spike looked back at Ponyville and grinned.

Doctor: Spike loved pointless carnage.

“Anypony else you can think of saving?” he asked.

Ditzy: Everypony else in Ponyville?

Scootaloo took a second to think, but wasted no time with her response. “Miss Cheerilee!” she replied.

Ditzy: What about her parents?

Spike nodded and grinned up at the sky as a whole bunch of gryphons descended upon the two, having found their target.

Doctor: I guess everyone else will have to fend for themselves then.

“Ballin’!”

Ditzy: Please tell me you didn’t just say that.

Doctor: He could at least say good one liners.

Twilight and the others managed to navigate the Everfree forest

Doctor: Which is stupid considering how many dangerous creatures would be attracted by the smell of Gilda’s blood.

to Zecora’s Applejack helped Rainbow Dash with Gilda and placed her gently down on the couch that Zecora had laid out for her.

Ditzy: Who is strangely okay despite how seriously injured she is.

Doctor: It would have been a lot smarter to bring her to a doctor.

Not a minute had passed when Big Mac and two of the ‘Cutiemark Crusaders’ had popped into existence outside the hut.

Ditzy: That is something I don’t really get. Shouldn’t they have appeared in front to Twilight instead?

Applejack hurried over to her siblings while Rarity braced for a leaping hug from Sweetie Belle.

Ditzy: Leaping hug attack!

Rainbow Dash had left Gilda’s side in search of Scootaloo, but grew heavy when the little chicken of a pony wasn’t present.

Ditzy: Can she really not fly? She’s a teenager now!

“Where’s Scoots?” Dash asked, fretting.

“Spike has her. He sent us ahead.”

Twilight sighed in relief. “Then I guess so long as she’s with Spike, we have nothing to worry about.” there was a moment’s silence before Twilight looked around. “Um… Where’s Pinkie Pie?”

Doctor: Oh, so the story remembers she exists.

The group scanned the immediate area before the pink pony emerged from behind Big Mac.

“Here I am. Like I told Spike, I’d turn up near the end of the story.” she said, bouncing around the group.

Ditzy: (Pinkie) I have a very fickle contract.

“Pinkie? Wait, what story, what end?” Twilight asked, trying to find a book on the mare’s person.

“Oh, but don’t worry, Twilight. There’s still another Chapter after this one. But that only makes it the end of ‘Book One’.

All: Dear Celestia!

Doctor: There is going to a be sequel. Wonderful.

There’s another on the horizon according to the author.” Pinkie said, bouncing up and down on Big Mac who seemed unable to feel it.

Doctor: I thought he was seriously injured.

“Pinkie, what book?” Twilight urged.

Ditzy: (Pinkie) The author has dreams of this being published one day!

“The Darkness of Love, duh! It’s based loosely around yours and Spike’s life. Jeez, Twilight, I’d have thought you’d have read it, what with you being the bookworm and all.”

Doctor: Great, now the fic is going meta on us.

Twilight gasped as something terrible dawned upon her. “Oh no, my books!” she cried.

Ditzy: (Twilight) And I was really hoping to finish 50 Shades of Hay today!

“Got ‘em.” a voice said from behind her. Twilight turned to gaze upon the blood addled dragon with rich purple scales, clutching a sack full of the library’s books in one hand,

Ditzy: But the library has hundreds of book! Hundreds!

Doctor: Where did he get a sack that could actually hold that amount of weight?

an unconscious Cheerilee under his arm, and Scootaloo perched happily on his head.

Ditzy: Isn’t she a little too big for that?

“Spike!” Twilight gasped, rushing up to him.

“Nice to see you thought of the books first. I feel so loved.” he chuckled.

Doctor: (Twilight) Spike, those book are the culmination of all the knowledge of ponykind! What are we compared to all that vast knowledge?

Scootaloo hopped off his head, buzzing slowly to the ground where Dash scooped her up and held her tightly.

Ditzy: Hugs! That is something I can get behind.

The sack of books fell to the ground as Spike wrapped his arms around Twilight, and the two of them shared a kiss with the kind of passion they wished they’d had the time for earlier on.

Doctor: (Deadpan) Yes, can’t you feel the burning hot passion between these two?

Ditzy: Spike must smell pretty bad right now. He’s covered in guts and blood. Next Chapter: Episode 9 - Part 4 - Darkness of Love - Epilogue Estimated time remaining: 24 Hours, 17 Minutes