We parked up the buggy near the entrance to the hub and headed for the chariot park. My mind was reeling with the information Warlock had given me, I couldn’t believe it. We were killing ponies, ‘putting them to sleep’, for Celestia’s sake. Whatever you called it though, it was still killing repackaged with a different name. It may have been necessary in Warlocks eyes but surely there was some hope for these ponies, we had medicine, magic users who could…”Oh! Sorry!”, I’d bumped into another agency pony walking in the opposite direction, knocking her files onto the floor.

She clicked her tongue and took the files from me as I magicked them up to her. The mare shook her short red and white mane irritably, ”Keep daydreaming like that agent…”.

Oh crap!, I knew this mare, and she knew me, or at least who I had been. Agent Sweetie held out her hoof, “I.D, if you would be so kind”, it wasn’t a request. I took out my warrant and she inspected it closely, “Agent Nox? A new recruit are you?”

Warlock stood forward, “Showing him the ropes ma’am”, he said politely.

Sweetie looked me up and down then reached forward, snatching my sunglasses from my face and looked into my eyes. “No…no, I wondered.” She tossed them back to me dismissively and I caught them in my magic. “Nasty horn damage there agent, had that looked at yet?” she asked me.

“Yes Ma’am”

Sweetie made to walk away then whirled, grabbing the hem of my overcoat and pulling it over my flank to reveal my cutie mark. She gasped, turning back to me with a strange look on her face, her tail swishing side to side, “You…no…no you’re not him. Excuse me Agent Nox, Agent Warlock, its been a long day.” Warlock and I watched her go as she hurried on up the corridor.

Climbing into the sky chariot Warlock scratched his muzzle with his hoof, “Met her before ?”

I closed the door behind me, “Yeah, right after I was kicked out of the watch. She had her goons, no offence, bring me here and gave me the third degree.”

He smiled, the first time I’d ever actually seen the big lug do that, “I’m surprised you remember, the agency normally blank any memories of interaction with them.”

I nodded, “She flashed me with a rewriter, but all it did was make me see blue spots for an hour, Wist tried one on me too, thinks I must be immune to its effects because of my ‘freaky eyes’”.

Warlock watched me like a bear looking at salmon for dinner, “Interesting”, he said. I felt like I should be nervous sharing a carriage with Warlock, but deep down I was sure he was just a big softy…Not.

The sunset from this height was truly something to behold and a balm to the weary soul. All these years, my vertigo had prevented me from travelling by sky carriage except out of necessity, and generally resulted in my stomach trying to empty itself of it own accord. I would have endured all of that, and more, just to be able to see the wondrous beauty of the Equestrian sun as Celestia lowered it below the horizon. The red-orange of this heavenly body illuminated the clouds and sky, bathing the world in its waning light before the slow rise of Luna’s pale moon. Just for that time, I was a foal again, wondering in awe at its splendour, the elation and joy of simply…being alive. I felt a tear trickle down my cheek, it so…beautiful.

“Nox?” Warlock asked looking concerned. I didn’t acknowledge him, how could I turn away from such majesty, the warmth of the light the princesses brought to our world.

“Beautiful…”, I muttered.

“The sunset?”

“Yeah…never seen it from so high up, its breathtaking…”

Warlock leaned forward to look, “It is, I never tire of it. The promise of a new tomorrow, one I hope we can share with every pony. Free of fear.”

I nodded, “Free of fear”. Goddesses let it be so, for the sake of our foals and grandfoals, we had to do succeed.

We began to descend, the carriage taking longer to take us back than it did to reach the hub. The driver probably wanted to take his time and enjoy the flight back as well, I mean, who wouldn’t? We swept in for a smooth landing with barely a jolt, I’d have to thank the driver, he was good…or she, naturally.

Warlock stepped out onto the landing strip near the compound, stretching his legs. His attention was caught by a charcoal grey mare running up to him, panting, “Sir! Message from the Mistress, we’ve got a situation.”

The orange stallion looked at me, the serious look on his face was back, “Get yourself inside and cleaned up Nox, I’ll see you at the debriefing”. With that the two galloped away.

I could see the river from here, the way the sun caught the ripples on its surface was quite mesmerising. Letting out a long sigh, I decided I’d grab a quick shower, the stink of that damned cellar was still clinging to me. I couldn’t decide if I was becoming desensitized to the horrors I’d seen, or if I was cracking up but just didn’t know it yet. It was a worrying thought, but hopefully when the princess found Shadow, everything would be able to settle down and I could get back to my old life.

Inside the main building, I was the only one in the showers. I guess it was a bit early for a shower unless you needed one, and great Luna, I really needed one. The hot water felt amazing against my fur, the blood, stench and who knew what else, washing away down the drain.

Steam rose and covered the windows with condensation, bringing to mind the wisps of smoke and fog that billowed around us that evening in the cell, Shadows eyes blazing with red fire. Goddesses, I missed her so much. Meadow, Sparrow, sometimes I wished I could erase part of my memory to stop these waves of emotion washing across me, but they were part of me, part of who I was. I could never stop loving them all, and one day…

Shit, I had to try and lock these feelings away, in the little drawer in my mind, one that couldn’t be tainted by the likes of what I saw today. I sat on my haunches in the stream of water, closing my eyes and feeling its warmth crossing over me.

Concentrating, I imagined the wooden bureau Meadow and I had in our old home, the elegant oak furniture, time worn but serviceable. I pictured the drawer inside, the lock turning, opening. My hoof stretched out, holding a tiny golden butterfly, delicate and precious. It flew into the drawer and it closed, the lock turning. I would return here when the time was right, when it would be safe to feel once again.

The stall next to me opened and another pony trotted in, their hooves clattering on the tiled floor. They sighed loudly then sneezed, swearing under their breath, I couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at the sneezed swear words. After a short while I was reaching for the tap as a voice wafted over the dividing wall, “Hey!…hey, there. Got any spare soap? There’s none in here.” The voice was feminine and sounded tired, she swore again, “Ah, blast it all, there’s no flamin’ feather conditioner either. Who’s meant to maintain these things?”

I reached for the soap and was about to pass it over when a tangerine coloured Mare’s head appeared over the divider, “Hey! You got any soap?”

I stood on my hind legs to pass the soap up to her, “Yeah, sure here you go”. My voice was muffled by the rope, which made keeping hold of the slippery thing a lot more manageable.

She stood there staring at me, her mouth hanging open. Shit, it was these bloody eyes again. I’d have to see about getting something done about them, I was sick of this reaction from ponies. I turned tossed her the soap and looked away, “Sorry, the eyes freaking you out?” I turned off the water and opened the stall door.

A clatter of hooves later, the mare stepped out of her stall and stood before me hoofing me a towel, “No, its not the eyes, its just…you remind me of someone.”

“Do I?”, I remarked not paying much attention, I just wanted to get out of there and away from the inquisitive mare.

“You do, aye. I wasn’t sure at first, but the coat, the mane. Your cuties marks different, the eyes, the scar, but the voice…its still the same.”

She stepped closer, looking me up and down nodding, “My Goddesses! Its you, isn’t it! Captain Fairlight! We…we hoped that..” She trailed off.

I dried off my coat and dumped my things in the cleaning basket, “I’m sorry miss, you have me mistaken for someone else, the names Nox, agent Nox.” Her hoof shot out and stopped me short of the door, “Horse shit ! I know my old C.O and you know me too, don’t fuck me about ‘Nox’ or whatever you call yourself now, I’d know your arse anywhere.”

I jumped in surprise, “My…what!?”

She smiled, “Don’t worry Cap, sorry, ‘Agent Nox’, I won’t let on. Pony feathers, what happened to your horn?”

I shook my mane, looking for a drier, “It’s a long story, Tingles, but you mustn’t tell anyone who I really am. Some know, but so far as the rest of Equestria is aware, Captain Fairlight died in that fire.”

Tingles stretched out her wings and took a spare bottle of feather condition from the shelf, “Cap, I think we need to talk, privately. You got a bit of time after the briefing tonight?” I did, I wasn’t restricted to the facility but I was normally so busy with drills, briefings and avoiding other ponies, the first outing I’d had since arriving was to the coffee shop.

The foals head exploded in my minds eye and I closed my eyes tight shut against the image, fuck I needed a drink…”Sure Tingles, I’m free, what do you want to do?”

She smiled broadly, clopping me on the shoulder, “Sweet! I’ll meet you by the landing strip at nine, we’ll go to this little place I know.” And with that, she pushed back into the stall and started the shower.