We flew low over the river and hovered just off shore, keeping the moon to our front to avoid being silhouetted. Loofa kept us just above the waves, his wings keeping a steady beat, “You sure about this boss?”, he whispered.

I nodded, “Yeah, I’ll send up a flare or radio in when I need back up. Keep your hooves crossed for me buddy.”

Loofa smiled and I rolled off the side of the carriage into the freezing water.

Thank the goddesses the floatation suit worked as planned. I had practiced the manoeuvre time and time again back in the watch, but reality was a hell of a lot different. Here, it was almost pitch black apart from the pale illumination by the moon and stars. By contrast, the artificial lights of Manehattan across the water, reflected multiple colours on the surface. It was all quite beautiful in its own way. If I had time, I’d have to come back here with Tingles for an evening flight.

My mind refocused on the job at hoof, and paddling for all I was worth, I made headway. The current here was strong, but I knew the right approach and had studied the island some years earlier when I’d planned to bring Meadow here for a trip out. Tonight, ironically, I wasn’t here for pleasure…but if Gates was here, I wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. I’d smash its fucking teeth in.

Growling with effort, I ploughed on and finally reached the rocky bank of the island, pulling the suit off and checking the rest of my gear. Flying here as a vengeful wendigo may have been tempting but I was all too aware of how I would have stood out for miles around on a night like this and Luna knows what those scum would have done to the ponies they’d kidnapped then.

The bank was slippery and difficult to climb. My shoes thankfully gripped well, but the water and dark still made progress treacherous. The last thing I wanted was a broken leg or fetlock here, I’d be right royally screwed then. And not in a good way.

Jingo had said the ponies were in the statue, but I decided to make a sweep of the area before rushing in there. What I didn’t need, nor the kidnapped ponies, was their prospective rescuer needing to be rescued himself because he’d missed something.

The only large building on the island was the visitor centre and it was completely in darkness, not even any security lighting on which struck me as unusual. Surely the site had security guards of some description? Everything was deathly quiet here, except for the gentle lapping of the waves on the rocks below. Had Jingo lied to me, sent me on a wild goose chase in the dead of night? No, I’d seen the fear in her eyes and there was no doubting the sincerity in her words.

I checked through the windows of the visitor centre, finding the place locked from outside…silent. It left one place to check, the statue itself. If there were no guards here, either they were cock sure of themselves that nopony could find them, or they’d already gone.

Taking a gamble, I released the spirits energy and felt my wings snap out from the slits cut in my suit. I never thought I’d need to wear pegasi clothing, but here I was. Unfortunately, the damn things weren’t really intended for those of a bigger frame, and I’d had to tailor it myself to a degree.

With a few hard beats of my wings, I ascended up the back of the statue until I was able to land on the back of its head. My eyes scanned the area, but still no sign of any ponies. The lights were on in the huge tiara that the statue wore, it was rather cleverly used as a viewing area for visitors to see Manehattan in all its glory. I could try to smash my way in, flashbug the ponies inside, if there were any, but there was no guarantee I’d be able to break the glass. I remembered the visitors guide proudly proclaiming the magical wards on the statue give it incredible strength against external damage from storms and so forth. There was another way in though, one you could see from miles away.

The torch, held in the gargantuan ponies hoof, was not far away and filled the area around it with the flare from its magical fire. And there, silhouetted against the flickering light, was a pony. He, or she, was walking slowly around the base of the torch, occasionally looking out into the night. There was no doubt now, this was a lookout for the gang working out of here. Not a very effective gang either going by the lack of guards, but that was all to my advantage tonight.

My suit covered most of my wendigo features, but the mist rolling off my haunches was a dead giveaway and It was something I couldn’t do much about. My wings too, would likely be heard or seen at this distance, but in any case, it wasn’t worth the risk. I would do this the old fashioned way.

I drank the peculiar potion auntie had given me. It was supposed to quieten my movements and make me less visible; for the sake of the ponies in the statue I sure hoped she hadn’t been exaggerating. Grasping the edge of the statue’s robe, I edged my way down and landed at the base of its outstretched hoof. Shimmying along, I stopped everytime I thought I saw movement from the guard rail around the torch. Inch by torturous inch, I made my way along and up, my hoof covers giving a welcome grip on the slippery smooth surface. The wind was ferocious up here, and goddesses, it was a long way down too. If I slipped, I may not have a chance to get my wings free before I either smashed into the rocks or the freezing waters below.

Pushing that thought away, I concentrated on my goal. The figure of the platform moved away and disappeared around the other side, giving me the chance to take the line thrower from my pack and fire it over the railing. With luck, he wouldn’t hear the grapple catch. Keeping my hooves crossed, I watched as the grapple swung around the metal rail and one quick tug later, showed it was fast. Wasting no time, I hooked up the winder and hit the switch. How I remembered this from training and hated it! The thing wrenched at me and I was yanked along and up, to dangle just below the walkway. I had to act fast, the pony would be coming round any moment.

Unbuckling myself from the confines of the harness, I hooked my forelegs over the top rail and hauled myself over, laying flat and motionless until I could make out the silhouette of the pony. He wasn’t far away, having stopped to look out over the water. The view was amazing from up here and the way the wind snatched at you and the magic fire of the statues torch, really added a touch of the dramatic. The pony turned, yawning, then looked up at me his eyes going wide in shock. Any thoughts that he may be an official guard disappeared when he pulled a pistol from his pocket and levelled it at me.

The magic from his horn flared briefly, the pistol skittering across the platform while his body fell silently down into the black waters below. He’d never seen the knife flying towards his throat, nor had a good look at his killer. Mercy was a luxury I couldn’t afford tonight. The door to the interior was open, lit internally with small lanterns leading down to the viewing gallery, and with any luck, the missing ponies.

Fortunately, for this mission, I’d brought along a contingency plan. The latest magical energy weapon from the sick and perverted mind of Doctor Bunsen, aka, the agencies very own ‘mad scientist’. By Celestia’s randy arse, she’d excelled herself this time. The case it was in clicked open smoothly and the pieces inside, beetle black, slid and snapped into place with a precision I marvelled at. I popped open the top cover and inserted the red crystal. It was a lot larger than the PDW’s; they had to be for this baby.

Easing my way down the stairs I began to pick up voices, indistinct and echoing, but definitely ponies. Several of them too, by the sounds of it. The twisting nature of the stair case meant I had to get a lot near than I would have liked before I was able to deploy a small mirror on a stick to peer round the last bend that led to the inside of the statues head.

It was brilliantly lit, inside the viewing area several stallions and a couple of mares paced back and forth before a huddle of bound and terrified ponies. Not a few looked like they’d been beaten and sported cuts and bruises. Their guards all sported firearms of various types, which was probably not going end well considering a heated argument was being held between two of the meanest looking ones.

“I told you to leave them alone, Nelz, you cunt! They’re worthless if you beat them half to death”, one of the mares shouted.

“They’re useless anyway, look at the state of them!” the male replied angrily, ”They’ll never make the trip, anyhow whats your problem girl? Afraid to watch a stallion letting rip?”

The other males laughed and hoof bumped the big cyan male.

“You ‘let rip’ fat arse and you’ll ‘rip’ her to pieces and Gates will do the same to you”

The stallion paused thinking for a moment and spat on the floor in contempt, “Fuck off Prissy, I’ll bet she can take it. Bet you could too eh? Wanna try me baby?”

“You take a step toward me you bastard and I take your stinking louse ridden head off”

“Ooooh! Look at her boys! The big girl in the room, tell you what…’big girl’, you sit your sweet arse down there and watch how a real stallion can ride a pony”

The mare fell into a fighting stance but backed off when two of the other males levelled their weapons at her laughing and chuckling to themselves.

The cyan earth pony male, ‘Nelz’, walked over and grabbed the hind leg of one of the foals legs in his teeth, pulling her away from the female who shrieked behind her gag and flailed her bound legs.

He flung the foal across the floor and stood over her grinning, “Awww…mummies little girl, eh? Ha! Don’t fret darling, old Nelz will make you a mare tonight. And, maybe…how about my friends here too? I’ll soften her up a bit for them first…”

The foal struggled and cried, the big male, impossibly big for her, held her down on the ground smirking up at the female guard.

“I heard the first inch is always the worst Prissy, you’ll get yours soon enough”

“You fucking cunt Nelz, Gates will gut you for this…”

“Ha, yeah !? That stinking walking corpse? He just wants to fuck her himself before he sells her to those pink ape scum. Don’t give me your high and mighty bullshit, you’re just a fucking street whore and you should be grateful you’ve hit the big time with the Harpies, now shut the fuck up, this little bitch has this coming.”

He straddled the foal and readied himself, his tongue lolling out in anticipation.

“Hello everypony!”, I called, each and every pony turning to face me in surprise, “Is this a private event? I must have missed my invite.”

“Who the fuck are you?”, Nelz shouted getting off the foal and kicking her to one side.

The spirit within me flared and I channelled the anger through my body, the white fog seeping from my haunches and spilling out across the floor. I took off my sunglasses and gave them a good long look at my blue eyes as I swept my gaze across them. With a bow, I smiled up at Nelz, “Allow me to introduce myself…I…am the gate crasher, the party animal, and tonight fillies and gentle colts…”

Standing on my rear legs, I stretched out my forelegs, the flashbugs dropping onto the ground before me. I howled out my defiance and laughter into the room, the ponies watching the flash bug casings split and the angry cries from within rise in pitch.

“…ITS PARTY TIME!”.

The flashbugs exploded. Screams and shouts emanated from the frightened ponies, their guards desperately trying to see their attacker and falling to the hail of energy bolts rattling from my beam gun. One by one, the ponies fell, shrieking, in fountains of blood and fur. The stink of burning pony flesh was sickening yet horribly exciting. I could feel my fangs itching from the anticipation, goddesses this felt good, so alive!

One of the stallions managed to get off a burst of fire that nicked my ear and muzzle before I walked over to him and sent his brain matter spraying out in a fountain of steaming fragments. I moaned in ecstasy, breathing in his escaping life force, healing my wounds and sending strength and determination into my limbs. There must be more for me here!

Nelz was scrabbling away from me, crying. His hind leg had been blown off, and a burning stench from the hole in his chest revealed ribs and seeping blood beneath.

“Oh Please!”, he begged, “Goddesses! You demon, go back to the pit, go back to hell!”

I laughed, breathing the wind of the frozen north across his vile body. He shivered and whimpered.

“Go back to the pit?”, I whispered, “when I can play here with you? Oh Nelz, you disappoint me. A big pony like you, I thought you wanted to play with the little foal?”

“NO! No…I didn’t mean it! I wouldn’t, I swear!”

“Too late Nelz…far, far too late. Time to pay the piper…”

He shrieked as I lunged forward, my fangs biting deep into his neck, pulling, tearing. His dying gasps filled the room along with his spraying viscera. I tasted his blood, the iron in it was tantalising, the life energy swirling out and into my dripping maw.

A shot rang out and clipped my mane, but it didn’t matter. All it meant was there was one more delicious flavour for me to sample tonight. Turning slowly, I looked into the wild eyes of Prissy who’s pistol was shaking so much in her magic, she was lucky not to shoot herself.

“Go away you monster! Don’t hurt them!”

I stopped advancing and regarded her in my blue eyed gaze.

“Don’t hurt them?”, I sighed out, “Weren’t you going to give them to your friend Gates, Prissy? Do you call that a better alternative? Raped by Nelz or raped by Gates? DO YOU?!”

She backed away, crying and dropped her pistol, “NO! Please…Luna, Celestia, forgive me. I never meant to hurt anypony…I thought it was a way off the streets, to get a few bits for a new life. Kill me if you want demon, but please, leave the foals alone I beg you”

I looked down at her and hissed, my mouth opening in a toothy grin. Before I knew it, I had my foreleg around the mare and in an embrace. She was shaking uncontrollably.

“There is a place for you Prissy, not here, but a place you can be more, but its not here”

I released the power and felt myself returning to normal, the cold and anger fading away, warmed by the light in the mares eyes. I took out my shocker and sent her mare to the floor, “Sleep it off Prissy, it’ll be okay in the morning.”

The ponies behind me were shaking in fear, more than one had pissed themselves. I couldn’t blame them, In the reflection from the window, the bloodied, blue eyed stare of a pony I barely recognised anymore looked back at me. What the bloody hell was I becoming?

I took out my knife and they tried to back away until they saw me cutting the binding of the foal Nelz had wanted to rape.

“Its alright little one,” I said kindly, “I’ve come to save you and your mummy. You’re going home soon.”

The foal was nervous but still stepped forward and gave my foreleg a tentative nuzzle, “Thank you mister pony”, she said in a squeaky voice.

I mussed her mane with a hoof and smiled at her, “You going to help me untie everypony like a big filly?”

“Yeah!” she shouted clopping her hooves.

In a few short minutes, I’d cut the bindings of all the ponies and foals, with ‘help’ from my tiny assistant of course. I looked over the ponies, binding cuts and setting broken limbs. Those bastards had really done a number on them.

I tapped my TED, “Brandy? Nox…I’ve secured the merchandise, area may still have hostiles. The top of the statue is secure. One in custody, we need medics here, theres injured ponies and foals.”

The headset crackled and Brandy’s voice came back, “Received, units on route now.”

One of the mares, sporting a black eye and split lip walked over to me slowly, she was a sleek, ginger, middle aged earth pony with a golden yellow mane, “Sir? Please, did you say…Brandy?”

I nodded, “Whats your name miss?”

“Carnation”

I picked up the little foal by her hooves who squealed in delight when I plopped her on my back, “Is you name Flax, little lady?”

“Yeah!”

I smiled at the mare, “Your son is safe Carnation, don’t worry, he’s at the agency facility. You’ll be reunited soon.”

“Oh thank Celestia! And…thank you, mister…Nox?”

She reached forward and hugged me, I could feel little Flax hugging my neck from behind too, “You’re a good pony mister Nox”, Carnation said, “Celestia bless you”.

I’m not so sure she would somehow. I took Flax off my back and noticed the others staring at the bodies scattered around the room.

“Carnation, can you take care of the others for me? Brandy Wine and the others will be here soon, they’re bringing medical supplies and will take you to your son.”

She nodded.

I turned to the door, “I’m going to see if theres any more of these characters around, and I suggest you tie up Prissy there, just in case. I think she may have save Flax, in her own way. She’s a good mare at heart.”

Carnation didn’t seem so convinced, but nodded anyway.

Trotting down the stairs, I could see all the way to the bottom. It was like the inside of a light house and had nowhere a pony could hide. The only ponies on the island were the ones in the statue. The others were likely to be…fuck me! How could I have been so stupid?

“Brandy! Whats your ETA?”

“We’re five minutes out, med-evac units are following us in. Situation?”

“They were due to be transported tonight, the barge hasn’t arrived. Has anything come in about that through agency channels or the watch?”

“Stand by one”

A tense minute went by before Brandy came back, “Negative on that, no reports.”

“Understood”, I reloaded my repeating energy weapon, or ‘pulse gun’ as Bunsen had called it. I think I’ll call it something else…I’ll think on it.

I tapped my TED, “Loofa, you nearby?”

“Check that boss, I’m around two minutes flight from your position”

“Received. Can you do a sweep of the northern approach and see if you can spot any river traffic heading our way?”

“Wilco, I’ll give you a shout back if I see anything”

Memories of the carnage at the wharf hurtled through my mind, Dawn had been cut in half by one of those multi barrelled ‘gun’ things.

“Loofa?”

“Yes boss?”

“Keep your distance and do not approach or engage. The barge is probably heavily armed”

“Understood, will maintain distance and call in any activity”

“Received. Out.”

I leaned back against the cold stone of the statue and breathed out a sigh, it was times like this I wish I had my pipe with me. Some of that wonderful tobacco Star Beard had…marvellous.

A shot from up the stairs echoed loudly through the statue, Fuck! I must have missed one…Fairlight you bloody fool…!

Running as fast as my hooves would take me, I charged up the stairs and burst into the viewing area. What I saw was the last thing I expected.

Carnation stood in front of an unconscious Prissy, pistol in her mouth, fending off a vengeful mob of angry mares.

“Get back!”, she shouted around the weapon, ”I won’t warn you again!”

“What are you going to do then Carnation? Shoot us? Have you forgotten what these scum did to us? What they did to you? Its only by Celestia’s grace we’re still alive!”

I walked over and took the pistol from Carnation who sat by Prissy’s prone form with Flax huddled behind her.

“That’s enough please ladies,” I said calmly, “you’ve got foals here, you don’t want them to see any more horror than they have already tonight”.

The black and white mare turned on me, “You! You’re that monster who came in and shot those ponies down, like…like they were nothing! And what you did to that big blue stallion, great Celestia! You’re as bad as them!”

I sighed sitting on my haunches, “Yes, you’re probably right. I’m not the best pony in Manehattan by a long shot, so, if you like miss, I can leave you here until the authorities turn up. I’m not sure if there’s any more of these guys around out there, but I’m certain you’d be able to handle them by yourself. Not sure about the others though”

One of the foals trotted up to her, a lemon coloured unicorn around the same age as Flax, “Mummy, I’m frightened, I want to go home!”

The mare nuzzled her daughter and rounded on me, “You see! This is what you’ve brought us to…the children are scared witless, they’ll never be the same after this.”

“Ringo! Shut up, for Celestia’s sake and sit back with the rest of us” an older chocolate coated mare said with an authoritative tone, “There’s been quite enough out of you tonight already. We’re all dead on our hooves, so stop haranguing our rescuer will you”

Ringo snorted and stomped a hoof in anger but backed down. Her foal, sticking to her like glue, stuck her tongue out at me as she took cover behind the mare. Cheeky little sod. The TED crackled back into life, “Nox? Brandy. We’re at the base of the statue, whats the situation up there, we thought we heard gunfire.”

“Its okay,”, I replied, “one of the mares knocked a weapon and it went off. Noponies hurt”. I gave Ringo a meaningful look and she shook her mane, turning away, “Come on up, theres a couple who want to meet you”

The thunder of hooves up the stairs announced the arrival of a suited Brandy Wine. He rushed forward and scooped up his jubilant daughter who whooped in happiness to see him. The agency pony showered her in kisses and squeezed her until she squeaked, “Daddy! Not so tight!”

He laughed and put her down gently, turning to his ex-wife half lifting a hoof before putting it back down, a sad look crossing his face, “Carnation…are you alright?”

“Yes Brandy, we’re both okay. This pony says that Snap’s with you?”

“He’s safe at the facility, come on Carny, I’ll take us there. Theres a carriage waiting.”

Quietly the three of them filed out as a stream of suited agency ponies and medics poured into the room to collect the others and, no doubt, to clear away the evidence of tonights events. Walking past me with the two females, the stallion clopped me on the shoulder, “Thanks Nox, I mean it…thanks.”

“You’d do the same for me sir”

He nodded, “I would”

“The barge is still out there sir, Loofa’s looking now. With your permission, I’d like to search myself and take any pegasi you can spare.”

Within minutes, myself and four agency pegasi were flying up and across the river, checking for any water traffic. The others had night vision goggles to help them, but I relied on my wendigo eyesight, the goggles made everything a bizarre colour which gave me banging headaches. Up ahead I saw what looked like a pegasi flitting around in the light cloud, dodging a brilliant stream of orange lights that streaked up from the surface of the river.

No…not the surface, from a barge, a black painted barge which was almost invisible in the darkness. A second later, the rattling whine from the barges weapon rolled out across the river.

My PDW crackled, “Glad to see you boss! These guys are NOT happy to see us”

I was momentarily angry with Loofa for putting himself in danger, but I didn’t know the full circumstances and right now, he needed my help. Those on the barge did too, help to the other side. I stared hard into the night and made out several ponies on deck firing up at Loofa, among them, a yellow pony. Hard to make out at this distance, but…yes…YES!

I hit the PDW, “All ponies, we’re taking fire from the barge. Unlikely to be any innocents on this one boys and girls. Weapons free, we’re going in hot.”

I unleashed the spirits power into my being, the excitement it felt echoed my own and its cold rage, its desire for revenge was mine. Gates…the bastard was there…before this night was out, I’d spit the bastard on my fathers sword…fitting somehow, but it could never be enough. Not until I saw Melon Patch’s head severed from his foul neck.

The barge came into range and we swept down like avenging angels upon the vessel. Ponies ran back and forth shooting at Loofa who was unwittingly acting as a decoy. Our weapons screamed out torrents of magical energy across the deck, chewing through wood and flesh alike. Cries rang out across the river, pulling me in closer. I hoped he hadn’t been killed in that pass, not yet.

“Bar Bell, take opposite position from Loofa, the two of you provide ranged cover.”

“Roger”

“The rest of you, with me”

The spinning barrels on the top of the wheel house spat yellow death at us which I answered with a bolt of pure blue energy, turning the damnable contraption into molten slag. Exploding ammunition from the wrecked gun popped and fizzed sending shards of metal across the deck as yet another hazard, at least the damn thing wasn’t sinking.

The deck of the barge was a mess of splintered wood and dead and wounded ponies. Those who were beyond help were despatched without quarter. The others were stunned with shockers for later interrogation. Ducking behind the main superstructure, I reloaded my pulse gun and peered around the corner when a loud bag coincided with chunks of wood smashing out of the corner I was taking cover behind.

“Gates!”, I shouted, “GAAATES!” My heart was hammering, the spirit singing its howling wind of death through my soul, “I’m coming for you! I’M COMING FOR YOU GATES, I’M COMING TO KILL YOU, YOUR’E GOING TO DIE, YOU BASTARD!”

Heedless of the shots, I rolled out, firing my weapon along the length of the barges deck, a shout of pain from the other end was all the cue I needed. Screaming in mindless hatred, a broiling comet of white fury, I charged at the downed yellow pony. I wanted to watch as he died, look him in the eyes as the light of life went out. I would hound him into the other world if I could, just to see him die again, and again, and again…

The pony before me tried to lift his firearm just as my horn flared and a blast of energy blew his arm off, sending his weapon flying over the side of the barge with a splash. Screaming, he tried to crawl away from me. Breathing heavily, I stood over him, “At last…AT LAST!”, I bellowed in triumph, my prey was before me finally.

I inhaled expecting the rotting stink of that…Gates?…wait, the smell, it was different. Letting the haze of anger subside, I examined the terrified creature. Yellow coat, black tail and mane…cutie mark of a pear…

“Where’s Gates?” I snarled, “WHERE!?”

The wide eyed stallion whimpered, “He’s not here! Sent us instead, I don’t know where he is…I don’t know!”

The pony watched me, trying to escape by crawling away. I slammed my hoof down on his mangled stump of a leg, eliciting a scream of pain, “Whats your name, scum?”

“Crumble! Pear Crumble!”

I nodded slowly, “Say hello to the afterlife for me Pear Crumble”. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Its rather difficult to speak with no head.

Behind me, one of the agency ponies let out a gasp, “Celestia, Nox! What the hell did you do that for?”

I shook my mane, “Pony traffickers? Drug pushers and murderers? You know why, agent.”

I walked away, he didn’t follow me. Below decks, the barge was all but empty. We’d recovered a couple of prisoners and a batch of those ‘gun’ things. Not a bad haul and a successful rescue of the ponies due for transport. With any luck, we’d find out where this barge had come from, where it was heading and where the portal was. A preliminary check showed that none of them knew where Gates was, it seems he’d left them to complete this run on their own. So many questions still needed answers, but right now, I needed a bath.

The PDW came to life in my ear, “Nox? Brandy. You were right about Jingo, she’s spilled everything. I don’t know what you did to her, but it did the trick. Agents are at the watch house now to arrest Blaze. Get yourself back to the facility and clean off, I want you there when we have a little heart to heart with our new guest”.

Damn it, I would have liked to have been there for that, but saving ponies was top priority. Blaze wasn’t going anywhere and I was starting to feel a little fatigued.

Loofa landed next to me, a tired smile on his face, “Sky Carriage isn’t far boss, want a lift back?”

I shook my head, “No thanks my friend, I want to get a shower sooner rather than later. I’ll be quicker flying myself.”

He shrugged, “That’s some trick you’ve got there Nox. You kinda look like an alicorn you know, apart from the dragon wings, blue eyes and white fog thing you got going on. Scared the shit out of me, I can tell you!”

“Alicorn? Goddess forbid! Hey, what happened with that one who was seen in the city a while back?”

“Oh him? He was promoting some god awful film about doughnuts apparently. Glued a plastic horn on his head and ended up in the hospital having to have it removed, the bloody idiot”

I chuckled, “Give me a shout when you’re off duty next Loofa, I owe you a drink and I don’t know about you, but I could murder a salt lick.”

“You got it boss!”

I shook out my wings when a niggling thought struck me, “Loofa?”

“Yes boss?”

“Whats your real name?”

“Soap Dish”, he undid his flight suit and showed me his cutie mark, sure enough, it was a bar of soap, “Mum and Dad didn’t have much imagination. I know, hard to believe isn’t it?”

‘Soap Dish’…Good grief, another poor sod named after things found in the house. These names ran in trends too. One year it had been kitchen utensils, I wondered how many foals were walking around called ‘Fish Slice’ and ‘Colander’. I met twins once called “Salt” and “Pepper”, the parents should have been publicly flogged.

“So why ‘Loofa?’” I asked perplexed.

“Ah…well, you see, I had a marefriend and one day…um, we were in the shower and she thought my…that is, my…”

“Yes?”

“She thought I was a lot…er…bigger than she expected and told her friends that I was the same…um, ‘size’ as the loofa in the shower. Anyway, you know what mares are like…the name stuck. I don’t mind really”

I stood there with my eyes wide and my mouth hanging open. As wrong as it was, I felt a sudden urge to look for myself, oh goddesses! Damn my inquisitive mind, there were some mysteries I would just have to leave as that. Bollocks to it, it was time to go…I was so totally not jealous.