I sat back on my cushy bed and watched as Amber peeked in. She grimaced heavily and shook her head. "You're an ass."

I laughed softly as she backed up, behind the dull burgundy wall. She left her chin peeking into the room. "What?"

Amber shook her head and huffed. "You're such a scumbag."

I jostled the bag in my hands. "Oh--oh this?" I bounced the bag of mints in my hands. "You're talking about this."

The bitter doe grumbled and hid behind the door frame. "You know, they haven't left yet. I could go back."

"Oh? But then you'd miss out on all these." I pulled a packaged mint out of the bag and ripped it open. "They really are good. I can't believe you don't have these in the Tsardom." I nipped the end of a mint and sniffed it. "Smells good, tastes good--"

"Alright you son of the bitches!" Amber stomped her hoof and snarled in a very nonthreatening way. "I'll eat your damned candy...you monster."

I laughed heavily. "Oh, now you'll eat them. Not like when I found wrappers everywhere." I set the bag down and met the doe's glare evenly. "I know about the midnight raids."

Amber backed up until her face was half hidden by the door again. "You know, you're the one who brought them."

I snorted. "Yeah? Do you want me to throw them out the window--"

"No!" She screamed in a heavy form of Finnish. "You monster! You absolute monster! Evil creature!" She stomped her hoof. It let out a tiny tap that echoed around the room. "You know I don't--"

"I know it makes you speak like a Finn if you're mad." I laughed and sat back on my bed. "Oh, and It's not great, but thanks for teaching me."

Amber grumbled and ducked down. "Yeah, sure. Not like you foiewhf anyways."

I scratched my ear. "Huh? Didn't catch that."

Amber grunted and lifted her head. "I said, it's not like you listen anyways." She sighed heavily and walked into the room. "Now are you going to give me some or not?"

I reached into the bag and grabbed a mint. "Here, take it."

Amber's antlers sparked with magic as she scooped up the mint. "Fine I-- Oh you're such an ass!" She tried to sheer the package open and ended up dropping the chocolate on the floor. "I hope you die! You're such an evil prick!" She bucked the foot board of my bed and bounded around the room. She hopped around the room like a child. "I want one! Why would you do this to me!?"

I laughed and reached back into the bag. "Is it just you, or does mint make all ya'll nuts?"

"Shut up!" Amber snapped around and jammed herself against the door. "You're such a prick--and I hate you!"

"Hmm--hmm. Okay." I grabbed the bag. "I guess you don't--"

"Stop it!" Amber bashed her hooves against the ground. "Stop it stop it stop it!" She kicked and stomped and swore to herself as I sat there. "Hate!"

I watched her throw her fit. She didn't mean any of it, but when the mints came out, the gloves came off. "You done?"

Amber stomped one last time and screamed. She sat there huffing, hunched over and panting. "...My hooves hurt."

I laughed and stood up. "Well you were stomping and kicking everything. I'd have to imagine it would hurt after a while."

Amber let out a long whine and slowly lowered herself to the ground. "I hurt myself and you laugh at me?! Why!? Why would you do this!?"

I nodded at her. "Should have been an actress, you know that?"

Amber's watering eyes went dry in a single blink. Her horrid moaning gave way to a single grunt. She glared at my boots. "You are a shit. Just a large piece of poo."

"Toothless words." I pulled a mint out and unwrapped it. "Here." I slowly reached down and put the small round mint patty against her cheek. Amber opened her mouth and dropped the mint into her mouth. She chewed it slowly and kept her mouth shut. "Good?" Amber just kept chewing. "You're like a baby." I pulled her forehooves together and plucked her from the ground. I slung her over the back of my neck and held two hooves in either hand.

Amber grumbled to herself as I lifted her up and  carried her out of the bedroom, back into a soft peachy colored hall. "Bite--me."

"Oh I will." I carried her out into the sitting room and looked out the window. The later winter streets of Canterlot were dotted with snow, and the occasional couple would walk past my house's window. I took a deep breath and plopped down onto a rickety sofa. "Amber, thanks for staying."

Amber sighed and went slack against my neck. "Yeah...." She huffed and looked towards the window. "...I might have told my family where you live, so, either they might show up, or you might get something lit on fire soon."

I swallowed hard. "What?"

Amber shook her head. "Or maybe they'll just send stuff from my old house. Probably that."

I carefully maneuvered Amber off my neck and onto my lap. She stretched out and touched each arm with her hooves. "Wait, what--"

"Don't worry. I'm joking. Mostly." She coughed and looked to the window. "Families are...big and...." She shook her head. "I wouldn't worry about it too much."

I scratched my neck. "They might come over?" I swallowed hard. "The people I called a bunch of headlight loving idiots...might visit?"

Amber looked up to me and turned her head away. "Visit. Uh...they'll try to move in."

"What?" I put my hand against her belly.

"Yeah...." Amber stretched her toes, each hoof spreading out wide. "Have this whole big thing about large families and sharing the wealth in the family." Amber rubbed her hoof against the couch. "I wouldn't worry, it probably might not, maybe, won't happen."

I felt my skin grow cold. "After what I said, they'd be--"

"Well it'd be expected after what you said." Amber laughed and grew a bit pink. "Oh boy...well, you might end up with other doefriends...so look on the bright side." She reached up and poked my nose with her hoof. "But you'll always be mine...even if you're an ass."

I felt my skin grow cold. "Wait...what?" I stared down at her. "I asked you to stay, and you had this whole big hangup about--"

"Yeah, I did." She frowned and laid her head across the couch. "I'm gonna miss home. And I don't think ponies are gonna like me too much. But you're here, and they're...they're gonna--"

I bit my lower lip. "Did they--"

"They're moving in on the weekend." Amber sighed and went slack. "I told them I was staying, they went back to the tsardom for the week, and they're going to come back and stay with me and you."

I frowned hard. "Amber, why didn't you--"

"You asked me to stay." She whimpered, looking away from me. "I told you it wouldn't be a good idea, but you just had to be all emotional and say nice things to me."

I picked her up and put her over my shoulder, hugging her back against me. "Amber, why!?"

Amber huffed. "Well...family." She laughed softly. "I'm worth it, right?"

I reached my hand out and slapped her square across the flank. She let out a sharp yelp and flipped her tail up. "Amber! Seriously!? This is why I called you-- those things I said...."

"Stupid fucking dipshit deer?" Amber corrected. "You were pretty clear about it."

I grew a bit hot around the cheeks. "You were standing square in a bike trail. You could have moved."

Amber huffed. "Well what would you do if something was coming after you like that!?"

I looked over at her, butting noses with her. "Move? I'd move."

Amber scoffed. "You say that like it's easy."

I pushed my forehead against the base of her antlers. "Amber...it really is that easy." I took a deep breath and stood up. "So, they know I live in a tiny house, right?"

Amber nodded. "I told them it wasn't that big. They said they'll try and get citizenship and settle in. It's not super easy, but it's way easier than moving back to the Tsardom." Amber looked around behind her. "Frank, where are we going?"

"Bedroom."

Amber whimpered softly. "You're gonna hit me, aren't you?"

"No."

"Liar!" Amber tightened up around me. "You're gonna use the stick again!"

"It's a paddle, but yes." I pushed the door open, the bag of mints was still sitting on the bed. "...Amber, I love you."

Amber let out a sharp squeal as I carried her to the bed. "Be gentle this time...."

I set her down on her back. She jammed her thin forelegs against her stomach. "Well, if you invited your family, and we're going to be sharing a house this small, this might be my last time to do this." I pulled open the drawer I kept the paddle in. "Gonna make you scream."

Amber's eyes went wide as I slapped the paddle against my hand. She looked over to the bag of mints and levitated one out. She unwrapped it and slowly started chewing. She looked back to me and shook her head. "Don't tell them about these...."

"I won't." I walked over to her shook my head. "And next time, just give me some heads up. I really don't mind, but I'd like to know with a little more warning."

Amber sighed. "It's not that big a deal."

"I ran you over with a bike in front of them. I called them all retards for standing on the bike trail. I don't think your family likes me too much."

Amber shook her head. "They'll like you more than the ponies. So, look on the bright side."

I scratched the back of my head with the paddle. "Do they know who my boss is?"

Amber pouted. "You always have to make things complicated."

"It's my job." I gave the paddle a practice swing. "So, ready?"

Amber looked back to the bag of mints. "One more."

I shook my head. "Seriously, is it you, or all deer--"

"The price of mint is sixty Ruval per pinch. You take a guess." Amber stuffed two chocolates into her mouth. "You know what, I can't even deal with you right now, just--"

"I'm gonna take that bag away--"

"No!" Amber grabbed the bag and clutched it with all four legs. "Please, Frankie...don't."

I rolled my eyes. "Seriously, got some problems with those things."

Amber nodded. "I know. But its so good I don't even care."

I coughed into my wrist. "So...you're not really--I'm just gonna-" I tossed the paddle against my dresser. "-do this instead." I walked up to the bed and sat down next to her. I spun her sideways to me and placed her over my lap. I grabbed the bag and unwrapped one of the mints. The mint sat square in my palm as I offered it up to her.

Amber looked up at me, then back to my hand. She grew a bit pink and turned to face away. "You're an ass--"

"Mints, deer friend, mints."

Amber grabbed the mint from my palm, kissing my skin lightly on accident. "You're such an ass I swear."

I nodded. "So I've heard."

Amber went back as I placed another on my palm. "...Frank, I don't mean it."

I rubbed her head with my free hand, running my fingertips along the base of her antlers. "I know sweetheart."

Amber relaxed as I brushed my fingers through her mane. She rested the back of her head against my free palm and ate quietly. "Mmm. You can't tease me with this though...I will bite you next time--"

"Sure." I closed my eyes and focused on the feeling of her soft mane in my hand. "All bluster, no bite."

Amber sighed. "Well if you stopped--"

"So, you wanna go get some clothes tailored later?" I opened my eyes to find a puffed up face staring back at me. "That a yes?"

Amber huffed and took another mint from my hand. "I'm gonna kick you." She nuzzled herself into my palm as I teased her antlers. "... Frank, I'm sorry."

"Mmmhmm." I rubbed her head.

Amber relaxed and closed her eyes, softly chewing each mint I fed her. "These things make me--"

"I know. That's why I bought them." I scratched her ear, causing it to flick. "Tsundeer girlfriend has a lot of charm to it."

Amber sighed into my palm as I covered her mouth, no longer feeding her. "I don't even know what that means." Her voice was slightly muffled by my hand. "Mmmhh...you smell like mint." Next Chapter: Bike Estimated time remaining: 7 Minutes