I woke up this morning with love in my heart and less than a care in the world until I opened my eyes. The woman in my arms was Brume, not Twilight, and as much as I didn’t want to admit that, the fact of the matter was there. My Twilight was gone and she was replaced by this seductress that didn’t really act anything like her, and there wasn’t really a damned thing I could do about it. God had made my wife go crazy and now she was dangerous beyond reason, so now I had to keep an eye on her and make sure she wasn’t turning into me when I had Dark Magic.

When I woke up, Brume wasn’t far behind me, so I woke her up the rest of the way with a few kisses since I still wanted affection from her. “Good morning, beautiful.”

She kissed me back and nibble on my lip. “Good morning, handsome. Are we going to start today off the usual way?”

I rubbed her shoulder and she nuzzled my chest. “Kisses and coffee?”

“We could mix in a wake n’ bake session, couldn’t we?” She crooned.

I kissed her horn. “What do you think, precious wife of mine?”

“I think that I’ll be right back while you wait here.” She started to climb out of bed, but I followed her.

“You don’t think that I’m just going to let you cook, do you?” I asked amusedly.

Brume gave me a confident look. “I’m sure that I’ll be able to whip something up. If nothing else, I’ll handle the coffee and the herb.”

I gave her a smile and a kiss. “We’ll see if your cooking skills have gotten any better.” I said doubtfully.

Turns out, my doubts could shove themselves wherever they pleased. Brume actually could cook, and the omelettes she made were pretty good, all things considered. I may not have let it show, but it made my heart ache to see that my wife was no longer a hopeless cause in the kitchen like she’d once been. Brume picked up on my disquietude, but didn’t comment on it as we chatted our way through breakfast. I had to compliment her choice of attire, which was a fashionable jacket over a knee-length dark purple dress. It looked good on her and I had to say as much, but Brume was more concerned with getting her regal attire sorted out and babbled about all the different styles she could see herself in now. I listened on because I was genuinely interested in what she had to say, and when she started modeling things for me, I was more than a little enchanted.

As she shifted from dress to dress, Brume showed off her assets to varying degrees of obscenity, though she made it clear that a few of her dresses were only to be worn on special dates for the two of us, which made me feel better when she pulled out a dress that showed off more cleavage than any Twilight owned. That is to say, Twilight doesn’t really show off, but Brume sure as fuck knows what she’s got. She settled on a black number with slitted slides that went high on her thigh and open, ruffled sleeves that made her seem like a sorceress of sorts. She added a little boob-window for reasons unknown, and I questioned the high collar since it seemed uncomfortable, though I wasn’t about to complain because she was hotter than nuclear fusion and twice as energizing in all the wrong ways. I took my eyes downward in an effort to check to the floor for a little bit and regain my senses, but they got stuck on Brume hips. She put a hand on her right hip, so I looked up at her and saw that she was giving me a little smile.

“How’s this for casualwear?” She asked, raising a brow.

I nodded. I nodded a couple times and tried to English. “It’s a goodness to the world.”

“You’re such a sillyhead sometimes, you know that, right?” She rolled her eyes and changed her dress into a royal purple piece that was more Queen-y than Princess-y. “What about this one?”

“... Might want to take the studs out of the gloves-” I began slowly.

“No, I’ll make the studs less noticeable, but they’re staying.” She said matter-of-factly. They disappeared into her gloves. “Any other problems?”

I gave her another once over. “No. You look good.”

She gave me a smooch. “Thank you. So are we just burning time until we can go home, or what?”

I shrugged. “I’m guessing we wait for a little while unless God wants to transport us-” I paused and finished a second later. “Now. Well that was… expedient, I guess.” I looked around at my and Twilight’s- Brume’s room in Castle Arcadia.

“... So we could have been back last night?” Brume asked a little irritably.

“Oi, Syrah, it’s not that bad.” I said soothingly.

She wandered around the room and started making changes to Twilight’s things, so I grabbed her comb with my True Theft before she could spot it and hid it. My desperate grab had turned out to be for the best since Brume casually altered Twilight’s entire vanity with a wave of her hand, turning everything into a darker shade of purple and making the general design seem more… I dunno, Arcane, I guess, like she was enchanting shit. Brume looked back to me sadly.

“It’s probably not doing you any favours that I’m just up and changing things as I go along, is it?” Brume asked facetiously.

I shook my head. “Just getting used to the new you, Syrah. It’s just a little-”

She shifted over to me and embraced me. “It’s not a little anything. Talk to me, Max. Let me know how I can help you.”

I wrapped my arms around her and pressed my lips against the base of her neck because I didn’t know how she could help. The only thing I could think of would be her going back to being my dorky little wife, but if I said that, it would break her heart. I decided that I just wanted the hug and the comfort I got from it and Brume was happy to offer it to me. It took me awhile, but I found my words and hoped that they wouldn’t sting too much when I spoke them.

“Brume… You’re not the woman I married anymore, and that’s obvious. You’re not my nerdy, geeky, dorky little Love Bunny that gets flustered over little things, or can’t cook, or says the wrong thing sometimes at the right moment. You’ve still got some of Twilight’s mannerisms, but I’m looking at a different person, Syrah.” I murmured.

She started swaying us back and forth. “You’re right, Max. The new me isn’t your little wallflower, and I’m happier this way. I know you will be too once you give it a chance, but until then, we both know that you need to work on accepting me as I am, because it feels like I don’t have your whole heart right now, Max, and that scares me.”

I hugged her a bit tighter. “My world’s changing under my feet, Syrah. I’ll pull through this for you, but it’s not going to be a cake walk.”

“I love you, Max.” She said softly.

“I love you too, Brume.” I replied gently.

We shared our first kiss back on Equus and had another immediately after. Brume wanted to go see her parents and her brother right away, but I wanted to go see my sister and my mother, so we bargained a little bit and Brume got to visit her family first, though she was going to have to explain her sudden change in appearance to both of our families as a result of her getting her way. On top of that, I got two kisses and I got to check the recess of my liquor closet that I kept closed because I didn’t want people sipping on my shit. I hadn’t touched much of it while I was on Equis for some delicate reasons, so I was pretty psyched to have a flask of bourbon for the first time in a little while. Brume asked for some brandy and I got it for her, so with our flasks in hand, we went off to go and see Night Light and Twilight Velvet. It was around midday, so Twilight Velvet was probably in her home lab and Night Light was most likely doing fuck all in the foyer, so my wife dragged us to see her father first.

“Dad!” Brume cried when he came into sight.

Night Light started and stared at her. “H-How did you get into my house!?”

Brume shifted her form back to my Twilight and my heart melted and broke simultaneously. “Dad, it’s me, but I go by a different name now. I know it’s only been like, a day since you’ve seen me, but it’s been two years since I've seen you.” She raced over and waited for him to rise.

Night Light got up hesitantly and eyed Brume as she was in the shape of Twilight. “If you’re my little Twily, then why did you look like some giantess of a mare? How do I know that you’re not a changeling?”

I raised a hand. “I’ll vouch for her.”

He gave me a look. “If I don’t trust her, why would I trust you?”

“Shut up and kiss my bollocks, old man.”

“Nevermind.” Night Light gave me a nod. “So, Twily… Was that some kind of costume, or…?”

She gave him a tight smile and morphed back into her Brume suit. “No, this is me now. This is how I prefer to look.”

“Uh… Yeah… That’s a lot to take in, dear.” He said meekly.

Brume frowned. “I might look different, but I’m still your daughter, aren’t I?”

“Of course, Twilight-” Night Light tried.

“My name is Brume.” She said, her tone clipped.

I came over and gave her hand a squeeze. “Oi, hey now. It’s just confusing the guy. He doesn’t have the whole story, so he’s just lost, yeah?”

Brume gave me a pouty look. “My own Dad isn’t happy to see me, Max.”

“Brume, the last time I saw you, you’d just had a massive argument with Max and the last thing I heard was that you two had disappeared from Blue’s house. That was a day ago, sweetie, and now you’re telling me that you two have been gone for two years?” Night Light shook his head. “This is just odd.”

Brume glared at him for a moment before I got her attention. “Why don’t we go get Velvet, Shining, and Cadance so we can tell them all about Equis?”

“We already know plenty about Equus.” Night Light said.

“Not Equus, Equis. They’re different planets with similar people. Very similar.” I sighed.

“That’s odd. This is odd. This is going to be an odd conversation.” Night Light shook his head. “I’ll go get Velvet if you two want to go get Shining and Cadance.”

I nodded. “We’ll do that.”

Brume sighed. “Here’s hoping I didn’t burn my bridges with them before I left.”

I rubbed one of her wings and she gave me a little smile. “We’ll make it through, Syrah. It’ll just take a little adjustment period and things will be back to normal in no time.”

She smiled a bit more and gave me a nod, so she shifted us to Cadance and Shining and Brume got an eyeful of things that I don’t want to write down. I need brain bleach and Shining… Why did he need the gag if… Nevermind. Just nevermind. Anyway, so once Brume let Cadance and Shining come back to their own room, she rubbed her temples through an invitation to tea and offered to get Shining Armour a donut if he couldn’t sit down. Shining lit up at the suggestion and Cadance looked like she could have died then and there.

“L-Look here! I don’t know if you’re really my little sister, but that wasn’t something she would ever say!” Shining protested.

Cadance nodded. “Twilight wouldn’t comment on that.”

Brume gave them a frustrated look. “Well, my name is Brume for one, and and for two, I’m not the one doing the sodomizing, so I don’t want to hear a thing from either of you. If you want to bitch at someone, bitch at Magic for not letting me know that you two were… Busy, before I got here.”

Cadance raised her chin and stared Brume down. “My Twilight wouldn’t be this inconsiderate.”

“My name. Is Brume.” My wife said slowly.

I rubbed her wing some more. “Oi, Syrah, they’re just caught off guard. They weren’t expecting such a sudden change in you and your demeanor.”

She gave me an annoyed look. “You seem to be making a lot of excuses.”

“We excuse family.” I said softly.

Frustration crossed her face, but when I put a hand on her arm, she seemed defused for the time being. “... We’re going to get Max’s family too and we’re going to explain what’s been going on over the past two years of our lives. When we disappeared yesterday-”

“You disappeared two days ago. You’ve been gone for one full day and a morning.” Cadance said.

“Ah, thank you. When we disappeared, things happened, and we’ll explain at Mom and Dad’s house.” Brume swept a lock of her mane out of her face and Cadance just shook her head.

“You can’t seriously expect me to believe that you’re my innocent little Twilight.” Cadance said.

“I’m the better version of Twilight. You don’t have to like it right now, but just give me a chance, okay?” Brume bargained. “I mean, I deserve that much, right?”

Appealing to Cadance’s better nature worked wonders, rather than trying to get her accept a new face on someone she had known for years. “Well, I could definitely bear to try to get to know you. I mean, you’re… you, I suppose, so I already… Know you. Huh.”

Brume turned to me. “Is this the dilemma that’s giving you a headache.”

I gave her a weary smile. “It’s one of them.”

Shining rubbed his face. “Alright, I’m still calling you Twily. You’re always gonna be my Twily, and I don’t care what you look like, that’s just how it is.”

Brume gave him a smile, but I could see fire in her eyes. “That’s incredibly sweet, BBBFF.”

Shining gave her a smile in turn, but as they turned away from each other, I caught the ghost of a sneer on Brume’s face, and she knew that I picked up on it. We traded a meaningful look and she addressed Cadance. “I can shift you to Canterlot if you want to save your Magic. It’s really no trouble.”

Cadance stared at her. “... Doesn’t Max do the shifting thing?”

“No, I do that now.” Brume gave her a little smile.

“Oh. Well, if you wouldn’t mind, I suppose. Our afternoon was clear anyway.”

Shining coughed. “If we could just never talk about this again, though…?”

“Yeah, no, I’m never going to let you live this down.” I said, smiling.

“I’ll bite you, Max.” Brume said hollowly. “Don’t mess with my brother.”

It still fooled Shining and Cadance, but that’s because they don’t know her as intimately as I do. Every little tick, every little tell is there for me to look at or listen to, and there’s just nothing anyone can do to stop it. The only person Brume really gave a damn about so far was me, though she might have just been irritated that people weren’t really being receptive to her new form. I hoped that it was just a passing phase, but the more I saw of Brume’s demeanor, the less I liked. She seemed to be a little rougher around the edges than my sweet little lover had been and that made my heart ache, but I pushed it aside when Brume shifted us nearby Blue’s location. As it turned out, she was in her shop, so we just walked in and greeted her at the counter, and since Blue didn’t know who the fuck the sexy creature next to me was, it was easy to get her to go to Canterlot for a little bit since her shop was empty anyway.

Trixie was teaching kids how to do Magic and shit when Brume and I went to go see her, so we waited around for her to finish up with a particular lesson and got her off to Canterlot too, but she actually guessed that Brume and Twilight were the same person because she actually pays a little attention.

“Trixie is curious. How did this change come over you, Brume?” Trixie asked.

Brume gave her a smile. “I’ll explain in Canterlot. I’ve just gotta say, it’s good to see you again, Trixie.”

My sister smiled at her. “It is good to see you too, though Trixie thinks she misses your old style. Your new style is definitely lovely, but Trixie liked accidentally wearing matching outfits in different colors.”

Brume blinked. “... I didn’t really think of that. I’m going to miss those little occurrences.”

Trixie sighed. “Life moves on. Well, allow Trixie to lead the way to Canterlot. She assumes that she was the last on the list, no?”

“That’s where the best always go.” I said, smirking.

Trixie rolled her eyes. “You were saving Trixie from talking to a bunch of old people about trivial things, and she is grateful for that.”

Brume chuckled and waved her hands, placing us in the foyer of her parents home. We appeared in the middle of the room as people were seated around us, so Brume and I found ourselves a place to sit and began our tale from the beginning. After we covered the Jeremy thing, there really wasn’t much to do on that front. I mean, honestly, the rebellion had fizzled out for the better in the end and I can’t really say that it could have turned out much better. Sure, there could have been fewer casualties or Twilight could have never been kidnapped in the first place, but it’s not a big deal now that we’re home.

We told everyone about the time that the quadrupedal version of Twilight opened up a wormhole in the middle of town and it spat out a little goo monster that we kept in a jar, but other than that, shit didn’t fucking happen. Nothing important took place, we were just biding our time for two years since we didn’t feel the need to take over the country, and that fucking sucked. No one could tell us about things we’d missed, but Blue was sure to let Brume know that she was still on her shitlist for making me cry. Brume responded kindly, but the underlying venom in her voice made me grip her hand to send a message. She gave me a reaffirming squeeze and kept her words nice, but the barely perceptible undertones of unbridled hostility were still there.

I was steadily growing more and more afraid of Brume for better and better reasons, but she still seemed to be adept at winning people over. Her self-deprecating jokes were engineered to get people to identify with her and breaking down their defenses through a few popular folk songs was cheating due to her voice carrying a bitonal quality to it that made her sound like she was consistently signing a duet. It made me want to listen to her talk for hours on end, and I couldn’t tell if it was just because this was the perfect form of the woman I loved, or if this was her spell; her means of enchantment. It worried me a little, and I know she felt it through our connection, but I also knew that if I kept it up, she was going to start siphoning my doubts from me one at a time. It was a matter of when, not if, and that made me want to put my guard up, but it would be hopeless in the end anyway.

I watched and listened as Brume won over her family all over again with tales of memories long passed and I couldn’t help but wonder if Brume was going to turn on someone for some arbitrary, contrived reason. She was supposed to be insane, but so far she’d been nothing but pleasant to me. I didn’t know if that was because she loved me more than anyone else or if she was a proper demon, but I couldn’t tell just yet. As I studied her, I noticed that her eyes ranged from pink to purple and that the colours of her mane were reflected in them now. It was odd and wonderful at the same time, but I really was fond of it. I fingered the agate ring on her right hand and she glanced down at the contact, giving me a quizzical smile as she continued to talk. I returned it with a little warmth and held her hand while Brume, Velvet, Blue and Cadance made Night Light, Trixie, and myself listen to them.

When the family thing was over, Brume and I went to Castle Arcadia to start getting affairs in order, and that was a fucking mess and a half. Brume had to fill out a mountain of paperwork in order to change her name, and the days worth of paperwork that she had to do sat behind it on top of Court that would most likely last all day. Sound Digit had kept things running, but there were always things that only Twilight and I- Brume and I could handle. She needed to get her name changed before anything, so she got court started and I got to relieving Fancy, Onyx, and Tender from overseeing my duties. My side of business had been kept running quite smoothly, but like with Twilight, I had my own mountain of paperwork to go over, so I got the task started and activated Study Buddy Brain to get me going.

When I was nearly done with my shit, I knew Tender wanted to talk, so I addressed her. “Something on your mind, Care?”

“Well, you know…” She said coyly.

I glanced at her and saw that she was looking at me. “Any time now.”

Tender rolled her eyes. “Word around the Castle is that you and Twilight had quite the falling out. Care to confirm or deny?”

“To Brume and I, that was two years ago. We’re not really worried about it right now.”

“Heard those whispers on a bathroom break. You’re seriously telling me that Twilight changed everything about herself and you’re just going along with it?”

I sighed. “She says she’s happier like this. Until that proves false, then I don’t know what to tell you, Tender. I miss my cute little Twilight, but sexy Brume might be here to stay. We’ve got to get used to her.”

Tender shook her head at me. “That’s just sad, Max.”

“Bite me.” I growled. “What do you want me to do, Tender? Because I can’t fix this. I can be there for her and I can support her, but I. Can’t. Fix. This. Trust me, I like this a lot less than you ever could, but I need to keep the ball rolling. There is no stop and troubleshoot, because we don’t have the juice or the required material for it, so how about you stop thinking like a child and check the situation out as an adult who actually gathers real information, yeah?”

She had the good grace to look ashamed, at least. “... So this is hard on you.”

“No shit. What would make you think otherwise?” I asked irritably.

Tender sighed. “I don’t know, but keep your wife away from my husband and Caramel. I snuck a peek at her during a break and that mare is beyond dangerous to my red-blooded stallions.”

I rolled my eyes. “She would break them in half before they could try anything. I’m assuming Celestia’s going to be by shortly enough after catching wind of Twilight’s transformation in Brume, so let’s try and help Brume get through her workload before then, yeah?”

Tender nodded and we finished up with our shit before I sent Tender out to grab Fleur. She would either manage the Operative recruits while Crimson went out to shape up the sparring people, or… Well, there was no or. Crimson was better with CQC, so I wanted him teaching the styles. I headed to the Court Hall and got started on helping Brume manage some of the important affairs while she handled court case after case, and we eventually managed to get through all of that bullshit by the time the day was done. Brume cheated and used God Magic to do a lot of her paperwork, but I couldn’t blame her since I’d done the same thing a couple of times, though that did mean that she probably wouldn’t do her little dance anymore. I liked that little dance.

The Sun was setting as I suited up in casualwear with Brume by my side, giving me an odd look as I changed into plain clothes. “Max, what are you doing?”

“Remember how I said that there was something I wanted to do when I got back to Equus? How I said that I wanted to make something right?” I asked softly, pulling on a T-shirt.

“... You’re going to meet Noir.”

“Here’s hoping she doesn’t try to kill me again, yeah?” I sighed.

“Let me go with you.” Brume requested gently.

“Syrah-” I started.

“No buts. If she comes after you, I want to know that you’ll be okay. You’re not a match for Noir if she’s serious, and with how things ended between you two, there’s no telling if she’s afraid of you or angry at you.” Brume reasoned. “Let me be your shield, Amour. Let me help you.”

I was silent as I tied my boots, not sure of what to say for a good little while. Once I was ready for an excursion into the Everfree, I looked at Brume. “Would you hurt her if she came after me?”

“Not if you asked me to handle things differently.” She answered, sounding almost disappointed.

“Don’t hurt her if you don’t have to.” I asked gently.

Brume stroked my cheek. “If she hurts you, I hurt her. That’s how it goes.”

I gave her a sorrowful look. “Syrah…”

“There’s no negotiating on this, Max, and I’ll know if you go to her behind my back. Let’s just go and see what’s going on, and no one has to say anything. If you two don’t want to talk, then don’t.”

I looked at her for a moment that seemed to stretch and carry on. “... Right. I hear you.”

She nodded. “Alright then. Are we leaving now?”

“Do you want to teleport or shift?” I asked uneasily.

Brume raised a hand and snapped her fingers, thus we found ourselves in the old castle around three meters away from Noir. She was reading a note and was frowning heavily. She didn’t seem to notice us as she pressed the letter against her lips and sighed. “Maybe, Maximus. Maybe.”

I looked at my wife and she gave me a nod, so I said, “Noir.”

The elder being closed her eyes and trembled. “Maximus-”

“Noir, Blackberry, I’m sorry. I was hurt and I lashed out at you, but-”

“I had to kill my sister.” Noir interrupted.

“... Oh… I’m… I’m sorry for your loss.” I said softly.

“Do not be. She drove me to strike you. She worked my mind to ignore the fact that you could have wiped me from existence. She drove me to be blinded by petty anger and incensed me to hurt you in ways that were unforgivable. Even while purified of all evil, Nightmare Moon was still a malevolent being, and she deserved her fate.” My former mentor said softly. "My Nox was gone long ago. I clung to false hopes and it could have cost us much, much more than just our relationship."

“... Can I apologize now?” I jested.

Noir looked at me, her eyes speaking volumes of the conflict she felt. “Your letter was more than enough to get your point across. All forty-six of them were, I suppose.”

“... And two, Noir, but anyway, I love you like no other.” I stated plainly. “I’ve spent two years without you in my life, and-”

“You violated my mind.” She murmured.

“... You violated my body. You wouldn’t have healed if I did the same to you.”

“It has been hard to heal from what you have done anyway.”

“I’ve done worse to people. I’ve done far, far worse to people who hurt me far, far less than you did. I’m grateful that I didn’t take it any further.”

Noir’s lip curled and she swallowed a few curses. “... What could you have possibly done to make it worse?”

“I could have brought up all of your worst memories, and then added in my memories of Hell.” I said quietly. “I left a lot of the particularly dark memories I found in both of our minds out of your punishment.”

She took a deep breath and looked at Brume. “Who are you?”

“Brume. You knew me as Twilight.” My wife answered evenly.

“Brume. I assume your sanity hit rock bottom?” Noir asked frankly.

“That would be correct, but it seems awfully rude when you say it like that.” The younger Alicorn said irritably.

Noir regarded her coolly. “I have been through the process twice. Believe me when I say that I may be the best guide for you at the moment.”

“I don’t need a guide. I have Max.” Brume said brusquely.

“Of course. Maximus?”

“Yes, Noir?” I replied.

“You extended me a certain mercy. Not one that I liked, but a mercy nonetheless. As the instigator and the defeated, I defer to you.” Noir said formally.

“... Can I have a hug?” I asked mildly.

I don’t think she could really help the little smile that played across her lips. “After all this time and even longer for you, all you want is a hug?”

“I missed you. I missed you a lot, Noir.” We walked toward each other and met somewhere around the middle, and I got to get a faceful of Noir for the first time in far too long.

Sadly, shit doesn't stay vertical for long. Shit slowly started tilting when Noir held me for a little longer than a tender embrace dictated, extended as that may be. Shit started looking downright skewed when the pressure of Noir’s hug started increasing, and shit start doing a 1440 no-scope when she broke my fucking back. I felt my spine snap and my limbs were wreathed in pain, feeling quickly fading from my legs as Noir held me aloft by my throat.

“Noir’s not here right now, leave a message with the jailor.” A familiar voice sneered. It had been a long time since I’d heard it, but I knew that it belonged to one of the gods, and that wasn’t something I considered good news. That, and the broken spine was pretty bad, to be honest.

Thankfully, my wife is fucking awesome because she shifted me out of Noir’s grasp and clashed with her, a shockwave blowing through the air as they collided. I’m pretty sure Brume got the best of Noir because a few minutes later while I was on the ground, aching and half dead, Brume came back with a scratch on her face and worry etched into her countenance. Without another word, she placed a hand on my chest and the healing process began, making my back feel itchy as it unfucked itself, and the feeling of my spinal cord reattaching itself was pretty much just unpleasant. That’s about it.

“Max, Amour, are you okay?” Brume asked, holding my head in her lap. “I’ve taken care of Noir for the time being, so don’t worry.”

“That wasn’t her, Brume.” I said, my voice shaky.

“Alright, but I’m still hitting her whenever she’s done being thrown through space.” She announced.

“Just try not to kill her, yeah?” I requested, trying to sit up.

Brume held me down. “You need to rest a little longer. Besides, you contacted Noir, she broke your back; why don’t we call this one here for the day and go back home? Maybe do some cuddling?” She covered my eyes and I hoped that what she was doing wasn’t symbolic.

“I need to find out what’s wrong with Noir-”

“Which we can do tomorrow. Our first day back has been full of paperwork and people trying to get used to me. Is it so wrong for me to want a few hours in your arms?” Brume asked, pandering to my weaknesses.

I frowned at her since I couldn’t give her a look. “That’s playing dirty and you know it.”

“Please~?” She asked, a tinge of lust tainting her voice, sending shivers down my recently broken-then-healed spine.

“... Fine, but I’ve gotta find Noir tomorrow and we’ve got to see what’s wrong with her.” I said firmly.

Brume uncovered my eyes and gave me a lovely smile. “Thank you, Max. I’d offer you some snacks to help ease your mind, but I don’t think you’re quite ready to go that far quite yet.”

I reached up and tapped her chin. “You know me well. To think that Noir broke me twice and I still haven’t killed her over it.”

Brume’s smile turned dark. “Do you want to?”

“No. Bad Brume.”

She gave me a pouty look. “I have the funniest feeling that you’re going to stop me from doing a lot of very fun things.” Brume squished my cheeks together.

“Are any of those things torturing people?” I asked.

Brume shifted us to our bed, so I was extra comfy when she said, “Yes, but there are worse things for me to be doing. Say the word and we won’t even have to talk about it again.”

I held her hands to my face and sighed. “I don’t want you getting your hands dirty with my work, Syrah.”

“Too bad. I can officially make you share your burden, and now I’m strong enough to take the weight from you. There’s not much you can say that will convince me to do otherwise.”

I placed her hands on my chest. “But I can handle my side of business just fine, Syrah. There’s no need for you to be killing people and doing the backroom shit in general if I already happen to be knee deep in the shit.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree. This is no longer just your problem, Amour.” Brume said firmly.

Doubt struck my mind, and I wondered if I was really just opposed to letting someone help me like I’d proven in the past. I tossed the thought aside, but it came back with a friend that asked me what I would do if Brume managed to rip my half of daily business from me. I didn’t have answers to either of those questions, and as I looked into her trichromatic iris’ I learned that she held answers to both of them, and that I probably wouldn’t like either.

“... I don’t want you to turn out like me.” I murmured.

“I’ll turn out however I’m supposed to, Amour.” She said soothingly. “I think my mental fortitude is strong enough to let me handle some of your business, so relax and let me make you a little more comfy, hmm?”

I closed my eyes. “I’m fine where I’m at, but if you want to do some actual cuddling, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

Brume stroked my hair and hummed for a moment. “Sit up for me, will you?”

I did as she asked and she gave me a hug from behind, which was nice for quite a few reasons. “Is this all you wanted?” I asked as she set her chin on my shoulder.

I was a little surprised when she nibbled on my neck. “No. I want a lot more since we’re finally in our real home, but we’re taking things at your pace.”

“Keep it up and we won’t be.” I said softly.

She gave my neck a few light kisses that made me shiver. “I know. We both know.”

“What’s the point in doing something you know you can do?” I asked hesitantly.

“The satisfaction in doing it well, for starters.” She whispered into my ear before planting one more kisses on my jaw. “However, I think you just want some innocent-ish snuggles, am I wrong?”

“You are not. You know, you’ve been incredibly good about… Well, most things. We need to work on your general levels of rage, but you’re otherwise fine.”

“Hmm~ Why don’t we keep the general levels of rage for when I need to be a nasty little minx?” Brume said coyly.

“That’s a negative, Ghostrider. I need you to stay calm and collected for as long as you can manage.”

“Oh shoo!” Brume complained. “What fun is it if you don’t let loose every once in awhile?”

“It’s not supposed to be fun, Syrah.” I held her arms. “It’s supposed to be for the best of the world around us. We can’t have you ready to snap at friends and family.”

She sighed hard. “Oh well. I suppose I’ll just have to find another way to get my kicks, whatever that may be. Maybe we could do more wrestling!”

I chuckled and leaned into her. “I wouldn’t mind a little more wrestling, but if I get a little handsy, then you’ve got to understand, okay?”

“I’ll try. For the time being, would you mind holding me for a little bit?”

We swapped positions and I got comfortable with Brume, combing my fingers through her flowing hair as she sighed her approval from time to time. We continued like that for a few hours and then Brume encouraged me to start writing, and she’s been reading everything I’ve put on paper so far, but she’s been completely accepting of everything I’ve written so as of right now. It’s weird, to be frank, but it’s nice that she gets me and why I feel the way I feel. Shit’s rad. She’s up front about her feelings too, and when I asked her about the rage she was ready to unleash upon Night Light and Cadance as examples, she shrugged off the incidences as her not putting up with anyone’s nonsense anymore. I informed her that putting up with nonsense was a part of our job to a degree, but she remained firm that I shouldn’t deal with bullshit either. It was hard to argue against since I tend to only take bullshit from a few people, but even then it never dives into business.

I’m going to finish up by saying that I hope no one gives me complaints about Brume. I mean, I’m expecting some to an extent since she doesn’t seem like her patience is going to hold out for very long, but I can hope, right?

So I woke up the next morning with Brume’s ever-flowing mane in my face, so I brushed it out of the way and got to look at her peaceful, resting face. It was a pleasant sight to see, so I busied myself with stroking her cheek and giving her plenty of little kisses to keep her sleeping nice and on the brink, but when I gave her a kiss that lasted a touch too long, she actually woke up with a smile and nibbled on my lip to keep me from pulling away too early, but the snogging that ensued was probably not as much my fault as hers. Her appetite for kisses is voracious, I swear!

While I was getting dressed for the day (Brume just magicked some more sexy sorceress stuff onto herself), my wife asked, “So what are you expecting for your first full day back on the job? Nothing too interesting, right?”

I sighed. “Well, to be honest with you, I’m expecting to get a lot of mentions one way or another about you.”

While I was buttoning my shirt, Brume came up behind me. “Surely your humble little Syrah won’t stir things up too much.”

“‘Humble’? Ha!” I scoffed.

She giggled. “Okay, maybe I’m a little less humble, but I won’t exactly embarrass you, Amour.”

“I’m not worried about you embarrassing me, I’m worried about you snapping and soul-slapping someone.” I said softly.

Her hands came across my chest and she started doing my buttons for me. “I wouldn’t worry about that, beloved. I’ll be as cool as a cucumber as long as you need me to be.”

I let her do as she pleased as she whirled around to stand before me. “As long as you’re aware of what needs to be done. I really hate to sound like I’m constantly chiding you-”

“No, you’re practically nagging at this point.” Brume chuckled.

“Right. Either way, I just need you to behave within reason, yeah?”

She needlessly fixed my collar and gave me a little smile. “I’m not going to be your good little girl, Amour, but I’ll be sure to show you what I’m made of in the coming days.”

I put my hands on hers and gave her a meaningful look. “Just remember your promise, okay?”

Brume gave me another kiss followed by a relaxed smile. “You’re worrying about nothing, as usual. You’ll see that I’m even better than I was with a little time.”

I cupped her face with a hand and gave her a good kiss. “You were just as perfect then as you are now.”

She held my hand to her face. “We’ll agree to disagree there. I definitely feel an improvement.”

Regardless of how I felt about my feelings, I couldn’t stop the sudden pang of sadness that hit me where it hurt. Unnecessarily hard, I might add. A light tap really would have done the job, but no. I don’t get nice things that just come as nice things. There’s always a fucking string attached somewhere, and I know that for a fucking fact that my wife is now seventy-eight percent night sky blackness levels of evil, and she fully intends on doing whatever the fuck she wants, whenever the fuck she feels like it. It’s beyond imperative that I keep her under control, but with the volatility she’s already subtly shown, I can’t round her up by force, so I was going to have to get down and dirty with my tactics, citing love as the most obvious, then I’ll start holding affections hostage.

Brume shifted us down to breakfast and she ordered two sunny side up eggs, a small marigold salad, and a T-bone steak, which is what I usually got when I felt decently about the day. I have different cuts of meat for different days since the luxury is there, but I can easily do without it. However, the hearty tenderloin and side of olive oil fried red potatoes I asked for were certainly not because meat and potato reasons. Not at all. Brume probably realized that I was having myself some comfort food, but she didn’t feel any particular way about it. I was beginning to think that it was odd that she didn’t seem to get upset or even slightly irritated by anything I said or did, so I started tickling her chin as she was chewing a bite of steak and she gave me a look, ceasing her chewing.

That look was my in.

I kept tickling Brume’s chin and I could see her jaw twitching, but she wasn’t upset or anything; she was trying to chew and couldn’t for some odd reason. I abandoned my food entirely and started tickling her thigh at the same time, which made her clap one hand over her mouth and the other over the hand that was on her thigh. I was getting her good and she wasn’t trying all that hard to stop me, but I stopped tickling her chin anyway and let her swallow her food before going in for the kill. Brume was ‘powerless’ against my advances, and when I stood and swiveled her chair that I’d have easier access, I gave her a quick kiss while she was working out a few more giggles before beginning anew.

To be honest with me, you, whoever may be reading this currently, I liked Brume’s laugh, but it did seem like a bit of a cackle at times. I liked a lot of things about her, like her grace and respect for boundaries, even if she did push them a little, however she evil tho. I sigh even as I write because getting a taste of my own medicine sucks. I’m seriously wondering if I was seventy-eight percent evil at the time of Esteril, or rather, when I was at my absolute worst. I have no idea of what the fuck Twilight might do, but if she’s constantly as bad as me at my worst and doesn’t mind disappointing me… Well, I hoped that Brume loved me enough not to piss me off before I could get a contingency together.

Tender Care and Sound Digit came into the Dining Hall while Brume was saying, “Stop! Stop! I-If you ma-ke me wet mys-myself, I-I’m gonna be-be-beat you!”

I let her up because I’m nicer than your average bear and went to hold her as our stewards came to see what the hubbub was about. Care came into view and gave me an odd look. “Isn’t it a little early for that, Max?”

I let her have a winsome grin. “It’s never too early for smiles and laughter!”

Tender beamed. “That’s all too true, but I don’t think Twilight wants you tickling her before she can even finish her breakfast.”

“It’s Brume.” My wife huffed as she caught her breath.

Tender shook her head. “Sorry, I’ll get it right eventually.”

“Get it right next time.” Brume said briskly.

“... Okay?”

I gave my wife a squeeze to stop her from biting Tender’s head off over nothing and my suspicions for the day were confirmed. Digit tried talking to her, but when she looked at him, she scared the fuck out of the poor guy, and whatever interest Twilight may have had in Digit was not shared by Brume. I sighed as I walked to my office with Tender, but until I got the panic message from Digit, all I could do was hope that Brume wouldn’t fuck things up too much. I mean, all the evil people ever really want to do is rule, right? They just some land and power and they’re laughing it up like madmen. I tried to keep my mind on my paperwork as I was filling it out, but a portion of my mind was constantly on what Brume could be doing. Up until lunch, I popped in every hour on the hour to give her a kiss, though I didn’t ask about any of the proceedings and just tried to feel the mood of the room when I came.

Nothing happened in the time it took for me to get my paperwork done and make my rounds, but when I got out to the Training Grounds, I noticed that three Pegasi were immediately sent off from different areas. I didn’t think it was a coincidence, so I started making my way over to the Guard Obstacle Course with Tender in tow. When I got there, Swift Strike and Shoulder Boulder (My Guard Lieutenant. I poached her a couple months ago from Celestia) were observing as shit happened.

“Oi! How goes the proceedings?” I called from a few meters away.

Both of them knew to keep things going instead of having everyone stand at attention, so Swift and Boulder played a quick round of Rock-Paper-Scissors to decide who would stay to watch the recruits and who would come to talk to me. Boulder won, in my opinion, and evidently she thought she got the better end of the deal too because she was smirking when she came up to me.

“Everything’s going just fine on our end of things, Boss, but I’ve got a few questions for you.” Boulder said.

I shrugged. “Ask away.”

“What’s with Her Majesty’s new… Style? And name. I almost forgot the name.”

I gave Boulder a longsuffering look. “We’re not even going there, love. We really aren’t.”

That got her worried. “... Are you okay, Boss?”

“I will be.” I gave her a lopsided grin that I wasn't really feeling. “Here’s hoping this blows over without incident.”

She looked at me and sighed. “I don’t think we have much of a chance at that happening. Everyone is saying that they’re getting a bad vibe from Her Highness now.”

I nodded. “I’ll do my best to rein her in if I need to.”

Boulder nodded in return. “I’ll keep our mares and stallions calm as long as I can, but I hope you have a plan.”

I gave her a smug grin. “I’ve got a few in the works as we speak. Whether or not they pan out is another thing.” I’m thinking of multiple plans. That’s making some progress, right?

My Guard Lieutenant gave me a little smile. “Glad to hear that you’re still sharp. Feels like forever ago now, but it hasn’t even been a year since The War ended.”

I blinked before the time difference came back to me. “I just spent two years on a different planet where a multiple government-toppling rebellion happened. The War feels like it happened in a different life at this point.”

“... Have the nightmares stopped?” Boulder asked hesitantly.

I winced. “They’re not as bad when I’m sleeping with my wife, but no. I’ll ask Luna about getting some of her people trained to help her police dreams, but if nothing else, I’ll see if I can kill whatever Dreambeast has you.”

“Dreambeast?”

“Ethereal creatures that latch onto dreams and turn them into nightmares so they can feed off of the strife. I’m a magnet for them, but you’ll be fine after one since Ponies tend not to get more than one in their entire life, regardless of their mental state.” I said drily.

“How many of them have you had to kill?”

“Of other people’s? I lost count. Of the ones that came after my dreams? I think there have been fifty something so far.”

Her jaw dropped. “... And you just live through the nightmares like it’s nothing?”

“They take their toll on me just like anyone else. It’s just that I don’t try and bear the burden alone. Even if you don’t want to talk about what you did to your husband, talking about how it made you feel is a loophole that can help.”

“... I never thought of that. Thanks.”

“No problem. Try to tell that to anyone who’s having problems sleeping, okay? I’d consider it a personal favour.”

Boulder rolled her eyes. “If it’s good advice, I’ll spread it like wildfire, regardless of whether or not you actually-”

“Maximus! Old Chap!” Fancy called out from some distance away. I looked in his direction and waved, so he teleported over since he wasn’t that far away. “Maximus, we really must talk. In private. The rest of your Agents are already in your office, so we’re only waiting on you.”

I nodded curtly and turned to Boulder. “That means you’re probably the highest ranker out here. Keep the show running with Tender while we’re occupied.”

Boulder did the Canterlot salute and I raised a brow at her, so she realized her mistake and did the Arcadian one. “Sir yes sir! I’ll go and check on the Operative side of things here in a moment.”

I gave her a nod and offered Fancy my forearm. He held on tight as we travelled through the dimensions, and though our landing was a little rough, it was all good when we got to my office. I took a moment to look at Crimson, Onyx, Fleur, and Fancy before saying, “So my Twilight is gone and Brume is in her place. Brume is mostly evil, and will not hesitate to take any one of you out of the picture at any point she feels the need. Are you in?”

Crimson looked at me like I was stupid. “What do you take us for?”

“Staying here is suicidal. You wouldn’t let Twilight be evil if you could do something about it,” Fleur said critically, “so I’m assuming that she’s more powerful than you.”

“She received my God Magic and had a bout of insanity brought about by homesickness when we were stuck on a different planet.” I explained. “We’ve just spent two years in Equestria, a country on the planet Equis.”

“Sounds awful similar to Equus. Guessing it was a similar world?” Onyx grunted.

I nodded. “It was. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my friends and family, so I’m actually thrilled to see you guys right now. You know, despite the circumstances.”

“Right.” Fancy interjected. “If I may, what the bloody buck are we going to do about Twilight?”

I stared him down. “If Brume gets out of hand, then we initiate Operation: Pastel Skies. I’m super into the name; any comments?”

There was a chorus of “You’re an idiot.”, “You’re a bucking idiot.”, and “Maximus, please.”.

Fancy was the guy who said the last one.

I held my hands up. “Okay, alright, so the name needs work. The first thing is that I’m going to have to get creative. We all realize that this is the last resort, right? This is not the current contingency plan.”

“What’s the CP anyway?” Crimson asked.

“It’s hard candy and I’ll give you a slow death if I catch you with any of the non-candy.” I said briskly. “But the other CP is that I’ll handle Twilight as I can since I’m pretty much the only thing she discernibly gives a fuck about. I know that she still loves me, so for the time being I’ll be holding various forms of affection as my weapons, Bribery shall be my shield and holding out shall be my sword.”

There were groans around the room, but it was Fancy who knew the weight of my words and said, “If I didn’t know the two of you so well, I’d say we’re all dead here and now if we don’t get out of Arcadia before the ticking time-bomb that is Brume goes off. However, I’ve seen Twilight’s love tame the beast within you. I have few enough worries that your reciprocated love will win the day.”

Crimson nodded his agreement after a moment. “I’d be a Max if I didn’t see the love between you two. Arcadia’s leading couple is notorious for being sickeningly sweet.”

I showed him my two favourite fingers on my least favourite hand. “First off, fuck off. Second off, cheeky fuck. Third but on this time, it’s honestly our best line of defense. Twilight’s had to use my love for her to get me to tone it down, and I’d hate to do that to Brume, but it’s looking likely that I’ll have to.”

“Don’t like asking you to work your bond like that, but we got people to keep safe. Your wife might just end up killin’ ‘em all if what my runners are saying happens to be right.” Onyx said irritably. “You heard about any of the orders Brume’s given today?”

I slammed my head onto my desk and looked at Onyx like nothing had happened. “Please, enlighten me.”

He gave me a look. “No wonder you’re an idiot, doin’ shit like that. Anyway, word is that Brume’s ‘asked’ for a couple statues to be made by some freelance mason named-”

“Electric Kite, yeah. Twilight told me that she really admired his work.”

“She had him arrested by a team of Unicorns and has threatened to jail him if he doesn’t do the statues, and do them right at that.” Onyx said flatly.

“Fucking fucky fuckity fuckering fucked fuckily fuckard fuckered fuckle fucktile fuck.” I groaned, crescendoing as I went along. “I’ll sort that. I’ll do it in a mo’. How many people know about this shit?”

“Eight. The four Unicorns that grabbed him, his two personal guards, you, and Brume. I don’t know anything about it.” Onyx smirked.

I turned to Fancy. “Oi, keep those guards quiet. Get the names from the pink punch-muffin and report to me on the details ASAP.” I pointed at him and Onyx before waving them out. I looked to Fleur. “I need you to do me a favour, O Stealth Master.”

“You vex me to no end.” Fleur sighed. “I like you enough to do what you ask, but still. What do you need?”

“I need you to break into the restricted section of the Canterlot library and start digging. Start digging hard and deep about Alicorn history.”

She looked at me like I was crazy. “The only two Alicorns in history besides the recent wave of you immortal buckers are Celestia and Luna.”

“Not quite. Equestria’s history is censored as fuck, and I need to be out finding out what’s wrong with the person who knows the most about Alicorns.” I ran my hands through my hair and inhaled slowly, taking my time with the breath.

“... You’re gonna go after your mentor?” Crimson asked.

I took a moment, but I nodded. “She’s been possessed by someone, but I don’t know who. Once I deal with Brume, I’m going in guns blazing to find out what’s wrong with Noir.”

Crimson and Fleur exchanged a look. “... That’s the first time you’ve said her name in awhile.” Fleur said.

I shrugged. “Healing happens, and the longer I thought about what happened, the less sense it made. I had to give her a chance to explain herself.”

Crimson smirked at me. “Getting soft already, are we?”

“I’ll geld you, Licorice Lad. Remember that.” I pointed a judicious finger at him.

He and Fleur chuckled, so I carried on. “Crimson, you’re going to be holding down the fort while Fleur’s gone and I’m out of here.”

“When do you want me to leave?” Fleur asked.

“Nightfall. Expect heavy security, and keep it nonlethal. We don’t want friendlies on the floor when daybreaks.”

She nodded. “Send me back to my estate and I’ll suit up. It’s been awhile since I’ve gotten to wear my soft-soled boots.”

Crimson’s brows raised. “How high do they go?”

“Just below the knee. Why do you ask?”

He gave her a dirty grin and she gave him an ‘Oh really?’ kinda look, so I asked, “Are you two really trying to get kinky while thousands of lives are at stake?”

“You’re going to sleep with the one taking those lives at some point.” Crimson said flatly.

“Oi, I’ll be doing it so she doesn’t! That’s my role: your role is to not get your stones stepped on by a kinky cougar, alright?” I gave him the Fonz Fingers™.

Crimson rolled his eyes. “Stop wasting time and go catch Brume before she kills someone.”

“That’s not a problem. She won’t be killing anyone anytime soon.” I said faithfully. “She might torture someone, but she won’t kill them.”

“Yeah, no, that’s definitely not good. That’s not good at all.” Fleur stated blankly.

“I know, so I go.” I pulled myself to Brume’s side without another word in time to hear her say, “Digit, why are we not taxing these fools for wasting my time?”

“Because everyone deserves to have their voice heard, regardless of their status.” I answered for him. “Hullo, Brume.”

She gave me a brilliant smile. “Amour! Finally, an intelligent mind among the unlit candles that surround us!”

I gave her a dour look. “That’s rather elitist of you.”

Her smile faded a bit. “Just take the compliment, will you?”

I gave her a slight nod, but my expression didn’t change as I went to hold her hand. “Brume, let that sculpture guy go home.”

“Once he’s done, he will be handsomely rewarded.” Brume said, smiling.

I blinked slowly and sighed. “You were a prisoner once too, Brume.”

“And what a boring experience it was. At least Electric Kite has something to do.”

“Please let him go.” I requested softly.

“I would really rather not, Amour.” Her smile eased into a regretful curve of the lips.

“I’ll make it worth your while~” I tried.

She raised a brow. “And what, pray tell, would you offer me?”

“Full body massage. The works. Wings included, happy ending optional.” I gave her a wink.

Brume gave me some side-eye. “... You usually want a favour after a massage.”

I bit my lip and let my heart rate increase. “I can do without one if you don’t-”

She reached forward and placed a finger on my lips, which wouldn’t have been a thing if I wasn’t on her left side. Brume had Spatial Magic that worked like my True Theft, but I didn’t doubt that it was either stronger or just more versatile. “Oh, my dear little Honey Bun, you have no idea how much I’d like a taste of your ambrosia.”

“I’ve got the ambrosia if you’ve got the nectar.” I chuckled. “I suppose you are a goddess now, right?”

My wife raised a brow before pricking her finger with a conjured dagger. She bled gold. I borrowed her dagger. I bled something that looked more like copper or a ruddy bronze than gold, but we both healed rapidly anyway. “Well, I’m a god, but what are you?”

“I think I’m turning back into a Human or something. Sweet.” I smiled.

Brume frowned. “Hopefully you keep your powers.”

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be that upset. You’re strong enough to protect yourself now, and you’re willing to do it. I don’t need to be ridiculously strong anymore, but if I wanted to be I could always try my hand at deicide again.”

“You should. We could rule the planet together as gods and sire all manner of children!” Brume beamed like I’d just told her that my semen was both the true water of the Fountain of Youth, and that she could have access any time she desired. Well, pretend she’s a mortal and it matters more.

“Yeah, no, now that I don’t have God Magic clouding my mind, I don’t really want to try out new powers anymore. I’m just going to explore what I have.”

She gave me a look. “Wimp.”

“Waffle.”

“I’ll insult your massive phallus.” Brume said darkly.

“I’ll insult your soft lips.” I snarled.

“Are you really going to start something with the most powerful being on the planet?” Brume growled harshly.

“Fuck does it look like? I’m not trying to invite you for tea, limp-dick.”

“If your vagina got any looser, you could fit two hooves inside.”

Brume and I kissed angrily and that was fucking great. It was so hot that I hoped she took me up on my bribe for a whole new reason, and when she pulled away and said, “I want that massage. Court’s closed.”

I grinned and kissed her cheek. “So we have a deal?”

She pouted. “But I really want those sculptures, Max!”

I gave her a look.

She pouter harder.

I gave her a blanker look.

She had more to give.

I stopped playing around and gave her a black look.

“... Okay.” She said softly.

I gave her a tender kiss. “Thank you, Syrah. It really does mean a lot to me.”

“I want an extra special kiss.” Brume requested. “You know how much I wanted Electric Kite to accept my offer.”

I gave her an extra special kiss with tongue on both sides, then wherever else I could get it. Brume was fucking good at what she did, but I held my own against her for a little while as our kiss devolved into a contest of wills between two stubborn people. I let Brume win since she’d ceded on the mason guy, and if she says she won because she was just that skilled, then don’t let her lie to you.

“How was that?” I asked, pulling away.

She gave me a half-lidded look that was soon followed by her shifting us out of the Court Hall and into our bedroom. With a few flicks of her wrist, Brume had a massage table and a tall pedestal topped with a couple of oils in place, so I waited for her to turn around so I could help her take off her witchwear. However, my wife just held her arms out and the clothes seemed to fall off of her, and I got a good look at Brume in the buff for the first time.

[Side note: Sometimes I hate myself for making me read porn when I don't feel like it. Writing it is a different story]

I took in the curves and valleys of Brume’s form and found myself parched for a taste of the tall glass of water-turned-wine in front of me. Whereas Twilight’s smaller frame and generally more modest physique had left me with the general impression of inexperience and goofiness, a certain level of ‘purity’ if you will, Brume was absolutely intoxicating. Her breasts were perfectly symmetrical which was a little strange, and when I glanced at the peaks of her soft globes, I noticed that they were also symmetrical, unlike most women I’d ever met. The midnight purple of her coat contrasted against the mild violet of her nipples, which was a little odd since Twilight’s areolas had been darker than her fur previously.

My eyes traveled briefly to her pronounced collar bones and slender shoulders before dipping down to her waist. Twilight was pretty average when it came to her weight, but Brume was proportionally slimmer around the waist and it showed. However, her waist didn’t stop her hips from being absolutely drool-worthy, though I tried not to look at the space between them for the sake of giving myself a little surprise. Thick thighs save lives, but thigh-highs are my demise, and when I could actually register that Brume was wearing them, the silliest grin broke out on my face. My fucks went out the window save for the one I was going to give to Brume if she didn’t feel the need for the massage, but luckily she started heading for the table before I could stick my dick in trouble.

“So what? Are you telling me to skip your calves?” I asked amusedly

“I thought you might like them, and they won’t get dirty. Try to stay above them, however.” Brume purred as she laid down on the table.

I walked over and got started, squirting some oil down the length of her spine as her wings drooped off to the sides. After giving it a moment, I started working away at some of the tense muscles in her upper back, eliciting a sigh already. “Quick question, Syrah.”

“Ask away, Amour.”

“Am I going to have to bribe you to stop you from doing evil shit all the time?”

“Most likely.” She sighed. “Even then you won’t really be able to stop me.”

I exhaled slowly and let the task at hand keep my mind busy for a few minutes, but Brume had something else to say. “Maximus.”

“Yes, Syrah?”

“Do you love me?” She asked quietly.

“With my whole heart.” I said honestly.

“... Would you rather be with me or Twilight?”

“You’re the same person, just…” I trailed off.

Things got awkward when I finished with her back, so I moved onto her arms and shoulder, but she stopped me with Magic. “Amour… You think I’m insane.”

“You’re either insane, evil, or both right now.”

“But you love me anyway?”

“Without a shadow of a doubt.”

“... Do you want me to change for you?”

I took a deep breath and went back to rubbing her back. “I was willing to do it for you, but I can’t ask you to do the same for me. I’d like it if you wouldn’t kidnap innocent people or do things like that in general.”

“You know we can compromise, right? I can satisfy my urges, you don’t have to worry about me hurting anyone we care about. It’s a win-win for us~”

“What’s your suggestion?” I inquired cautiously.

“Let me have a dungeon. Don’t ask what goes on down there, just let me have one. I’ll fill it with some of our prisoners and they can suffer my wrath. The more I do to them, the nicer I’ll feel like being.”

“... I’m alright with that. There are some people I’ve been torturing for nearly raping Applejack, so if you want to straighten them out and start over, you’re more than welcome to do so.”

Brume propped herself up and looked back at me. “I forgot about those guys. What are you doing to them?”

“Making them relive my memories of being raped and my thousand years in Hell. Insanity inducing shit.” I said casually.

“I like. You can move those hands down a little lower, Lover-Boy.” …You sick cunt.

I moved my hands to Brume lower back before applying more oil to the area, rubbing it in as I worked my way down to her rear. “I’m not proud of that, Brume. It’s a punishment, not a prideful thing.”

“Hmm~ Well I find it to be quite interesting, although I know you don’t feel the same way. If you’d like to move onto something else-” I grabbed her arse and let my fingers sink into the supple flesh. “That’s more like it!”

As I firmly worked her lovely glutes and her hamstrings, I said, “It’s going to be hard to get used to the sadism, but if you want to keep up the sexy sorceress thing you have going on, I’d be down for it.”

She giggled and flexed her rear. “It’s just how I am, so I suppose you’ll be happy enough with it. Say, you might want to add a little more oil.”

I slid my hands from the top of her thigh-highs to her wings with absolutely no issue. “You sure about that?”

“I’m feeling a little cheeky~” She purred.

I picked up the bottle after I picked up the hint and drizzled more of the plum blossom scented oil onto Brume’s posterior and gave her some special attention, but she said, “You know, you’re supposed to work your way inward.” ...What.

“As much as I like vague hints and guessing in general, are you asking me to do what I think you’re asking?” I asked cautiously.

She wiggled her rear and huffed. “It’s not a prob~lem.” She moaned as I teased her rosebud.

“You were saying?”

“Keep up the good work.” She sighed as I did a little more than just tease.

As I slowly worked my finger into her bottom with the lubrication provided, I made sure to let my free fingers slide between Brume’s slick lower lips. There was a difference between the oil and her natural lubrication that I could feel after a little bit. “You know this was just supposed to be a massage, right?”

“I’ll be good tomorrow, okay? Just don’t stop~” Brume crooned.

I rolled my eyes. “The most powerful being on the planet; brought down by a decent massage and a few well placed fingers.”

“Mmm~ I’m weak. What’s wrong with that?”

“Boy oh boy I love it when I fall for that.” I chuckled.

“Is that a song reference?” She asked dreamily.

I removed my index finger from her tight alternate entrance and added another finger, eliciting a few more moans from Brume while I spoke. “It is. I’m not really that into pop music, but that one was a good song.”

“You’ll have to play it for me some time.” My wife said, her voice a little shaky. With a smarmy grin, I prepared my ring and pinkie fingers to enter her honeypot when Brume continued with, “If you’re sticking anything in there, it had better be at least eight inches long.”

I rolled my eyes and stretched the two fingers I had inside of her. “Would you care to explain why?”

“Because I’m ready. I’ve been ready since I transformed, but patience is a virtue.”

“So what would you be willing to trade for a solid dicking in the next five minutes?”

“The world and a cookie from the Moon.” Brume said quickly.

“How about three days of good behavior besides what goes on in your new dungeon?”

She looked back at me, pouting hard. “I don’t wanna be a good girl.”

I stopped fingering her rear and rested my hand on her bottom, which made her intensify her pout. “I need you to be a good girl, Syrah.”

“... Fine. Fine.” She grumbled irritably. “Go back to what you were doing and we’ll negotiate for it.”

I prepared her arse with a little more oil and went back to work, but this time, I added my ring finger because I was rather hoping that I was going to get some. “Alright. What are you willing to give?”

“Mmm~ You don’t have to wait on me. Just put it in, Amour.” Brume said huskily.

“If I did that, then I wouldn’t have a bargaining chip. That, and I’d probably hurt you.”

“Like I give a fuck. I’ll heal.” She said tersely. “What I want is your cock lubed up and ready to go in the next ten seconds. I’ll give you whatever the bloody fuck you want,” Two slightly lower tables with padding on top appeared next to the massage table on either side, “if you get up here and give me Mr. Wiggles.”

“I don’t like making deals-”

“Max, Amour. A week of niceness. A week.”

I hopped out of my trousers with a practiced ease and started to climb up on the table as I said, “Well that’s just great! Someone’s getting the good stuff tonight!”

“If there’s more than three rounds, then I’ll give you a month. I don’t want to be able to walk after this.” Brume said excitedly.

“Oh, that’s definitely doable.” I chuckled happily as I added yet more of the oil to my wife’s bottom and to my rod.

“Do it rough, Amour.” Brume said, her breathing becoming slightly uneven. “I can handle it.”

“Yeah, no. Rough anal is dangerous if you don’t warm up properly.”

“Grr!” She actually said that, mind you. “If you’re going to fuck me at least make it good!”

I tilted my head. That was a challenge. I conquer those. I positioned myself against Brume’s rosebud and waited until my tip entered her to grab a fistful of her mane in the same instance in which I rammed the rest of my rod into her as far as I would go. It was the first thrust so I didn't make it very far, nor did the immense tightness of Brume’s arse help my cause any. However, She let out a scream that tapered off into a moan and I knew I’d made the right choice for her pleasure. How I felt about it mattered less as I let myself get lost in the moment.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Brume grunted, her voice strained. She moaned hard as I pulled out, but instead of letting an opportunity go to waste, I prepared to give her some more lubrication anyway, just to make sure I didn't tear anything on the inside.

“I can do rough, Syrah.” I murmured into her ear.

With her mane still in my fist, I pulled her back a little further and she looked at me from the corner of her eye. “Unless it’s starting to hurt you, no more oil.” She demanded.

“Your wish is my command.” I kissed her cheek and went back to the task at hand, which was repositioning myself so that I could get in her rosebud again.

I popped the tip in and didn’t bother with being gentle about it because I knew Brume wanted it to hurt. I wasn’t and still am not terribly fond of the whole ‘consensual non-consent’ thing, but if it was her bag, then it wasn’t too much to ask for me to fill that role for her. Sure, I was stabbing myself with every pained grunt that Brume breathed, but I could feel the happiness she was exuding and that was what I wanted from her.

I finally managed to drive my rod into her down to the hilt when Brume had her first noteworthy orgasm, which sounded a lot like, “Fucking fuck yes! FUCK YES!Fuck me! Fucking fuck, Amour! FUCK ME!”

It was a turn off, but one that I could ignore for the sake of peace.

Despite my desire to stop after that, I gave Brume the three hardest pelvic thrusts of my life before pulling out and treating her vulva with the same gentle care, which is to say, I pulled out of her arse and rammed my member into her like I was trying to hurt her because I thought she’d like it. She came on the spot, so with my hypothesis proving correct, I hammered on in Twilight’s main entrance while she slowly became less and less coherent.

“O-Oh my G-G-God~” Brume moaned. “Amour~”

I switched from her honeypot to her rosebud because I could and leaned down as I let myself slide into her more slowly than I’d done in the past hour. “Yes, Syrah~?”

“Spank me~ Spank me like the naughty little filly I am!” She begged.

I decided that she’d prefer it if I bit her, so I swept her mane off to the side and let my teeth do the talking on her shoulder. I bit her fucking hard, but I wasn’t expecting, “YES DADDY! RAPE TWILY AGAIN! RAPE ME!”

My blood ran cold.

My fucking heart stopped beating in my chest and I had to throw myself off of the table before I could be ill all over Brume. I was so far beyond whatever the bloody fuckering fuck I was supposed to be feeling that I just took a moment to process what the shit had just been revealed to me. I stared at my sick for a little bit and shook as the thundering realization that I’d just fulfilled a fantasy relating to being raped as a child, and I… I cried for Twilight, of course. I cried for the damage that she’d been carrying around for so long that she’d probably repressed it all, and I cried for what I was going to do to Night Light because no one

Had to take a sec and breathe for a moment. Got a little worked up.

I straightened up because of the rage that was building in my chest, but Brume came over and magicked up the sick and the other bullshit, kneeling beside me. “Amour?”

“Is that true.”

“... Well, yes. It’s a memory I only recently uncovered, but I have to say that-”

“No. I swear to God-” My volume had risen as I spoke, so I stopped speaking for a moment. “... Night Light is dead.”

Brume gave me a dark smile. “You wouldn’t mind if I had a chance with him first, would you? To rape a rapist sounds like the most poetic of justice to me.”

“... He’s your demon. You’ve got express permission to kill him however the fuck you want outside of the public eye.” I said darkly.

Brume tried to kiss me for the ‘kindness’, but I pushed her away. “You used me to fill the role of your rapist. That was... Dirty, Brume.”

She looked at me sadly. “... When can I expect another kiss?”

I reached over and put a hand on her arm, squeezing her bicep gently. “There’s still the pre-dinner kiss and the goodnight kiss.”

That put a little smile on her face. “Maybe that’s a fantasy I’ll just keep to myself.”

I shook my head, my eyes closed so I wouldn’t have to look at the world anymore. “... Is that why you didn’t like anyone touching your rear? Because Night Light’s boundary issues run deep?”

“That would be correct, yes. He said it would be our little secret, which is why I assume he didn’t take my virginity.”

“Right. Right…” I let my hand fall from her arm. “Brume, I-”

“You already know I don't need to be comforted, Max. I’m okay.” She chuckled.

“... You’re insane. You’re insane like me, but…” I trailed off.

Brume grabbed my chin roughly and jerked my head so that I was facing her. “You are not insane! You’ve just been through a lot, and you’re coping mechanisms are just odd!”

I stared her down. “I’m batshit insane, I just don’t show it. The same impulses you have are like the ones I have and we both know it. You were my moral compass. You were the light to my darkness. I have to be your light now, but I don’t shine as brightly as you did, Brume. You’re lost at sea and I can’t guide you back.”

My words didn’t hurt her, but she did consider them. “Why don’t you come to the darkness with me? We can change this world-”

“For what? I like peace, Brume. I like not having to worry about getting robbed, raped, or killed, and for the most part, that’s how Equestria is. For what purpose would we take over the world?” I asked rhetorically.

“To rule it!” She exclaimed. “Just think, Amour! All the power in the world-”

“Which you already have. There isn’t a thing on this world that can be denied to you now, so what’s it all for, Brume? Whatever you want, you don’t have to take because you can make. You have someone to love, the biggest house on the planet, and right now, thousands of loving and adoring subjects who worship the ground you walk on and respect you with their whole hearts. You’re at the top. What I see is that you want to go downhill when we have something else we could be working on that could end with people we love not hating us.”

Brume gave me a look. “Okay, so you need to understand that I love you. Only you. I don’t really care about any of the other knuckle-dragging louts around here, but I do like you. Okay? Okay.” She clapped once. “Now. I want to take over the world because it’s ours. We deserve it. We’ve saved it enough times, we look after it: the damned thing’s our's. I don’t care whether or not people like me or hate me, I just want them to kneel before me-”

“Then be fucking nice about it! Reinstate the kneeling and people will happily do that shit! Smile all you want while you walk by them as they prostate and offer their pride and livelihoods to you without an audible complaint! On the whole ‘we deserve the world’ thing: Brume. Syrah. Cherry, my sweet. WHO’S GONNA FUCKIN’ TAKE THE SHIT FROM YA
!? Announce that you rule the Goddamn world, and ya know what!? Ain’t nobody gonna do a DAMNED THING! But the fuckin’ kicker is,” I beat my temples with the heels of my hands to emphasize each word “No. One. Can. Top. You. Brume du Brume, you, and please fucking listen and think about it; you are the strongest. You are the most lethal. The world is in the palm of your hand right now. At this very moment. It’s already yours, and that’s because no one from this realm can take you on in a fair fight besides me, maybe, with prep-time on a good day. I’m not going to fight you. We both know that. I don’t want to fight you, so I’m not gonna. I’ll bargain with you. Bribe you if I can. This right now is me trying to reason with you, but if it doesn’t work, then we can try again.” I looked at her and awaited her response.

My wife stared at me. She scratched her face and gave me a look after a few minutes of silence. “You really are a killjoy, you know that?”

“Don’t call me daddy again and we can go back to having sex.” I offered, though I wasn’t in the mood.

She considered it. “I’m sure I could help you get it up, but do you really want to?”

“... I want to know that we’re on the same page.” I said softly.

Brume sighed. “I’m keeping the dungeon, but we’ll do things your way… I guess when you put it so loudly ,” She gave me an accusatory look, so I tried an apologetic smile, “it’s kind of easy to hear what you’re saying. There’s no need to take over the world because I already know that I could do it if I felt like it. I could do it any imaginable way at that.” She sighed again. “... I just don’t want to be bored, I suppose. Strife and suffering are interesting and fun, but… I’ll lose you if I give in to my instincts.” She looked at the ceiling. “What’s it like, Amour?”

“On an everyday basis? Frustrating. At first the ache is pretty bad. Someone looks at you the wrong way and you see a familiar face. I know when I came back from The War, I saw soldiers in the faces of civilians and I there were times where I was close to losing it. When I first came to Equestria, I noticed that a lot of Ponies leave valuable things lying around in their homes. Those little get-togethers at Fancy and Fleur’s estate in Canterlot were always hard when I’d cross a room and, without trying, end up with more jewelry than most of those snobs bought themselves.”

“So some were easy to suppress and others were unavoidable.” Brume said, her voice dripping with resignation.

“Conjure up a bottle of mouthwash for me, will you?” I requested politely.

She waved her hand, her eyes on the floor. “To own the world, but to do nothing with it… Why not unite every country under one banner?”

I shrugged. “Sounds a little totalitarian, and you’d have to set up all sorts of things, I imagine.” I took a swig of the burn-flavoured substance and rinsed like vigorous dentistry would make up for being English. I spat it back into the bottle because I’m an actual animal sometimes. “Something that a mind like yours would be perfect for and a thing that a woman like Celestia would happily agree to help you set up as long as you keep it benevolent.”

I received a flat look. “Riiight. Can we go kill my Dad now?”

It was a good suggestion, so I wasted no time in putting my pants back on. Once Brume and I were ready to go, she shifted us to her parent's Sunroom where the two of them were being accompanied by Mountain Mix, his wife, and a couple of unimportant people. We got stared at for our abrupt entry, but Brume wasted no time in saying hello.

“Good evening to everyone.” She said graciously. “It would seem that you’ve unwittingly allowed yourselves to be in the presence of a rapist. If you’d like to leave to prevent their stench from getting on you, then feel free to leave.”

Jaws fucking dropped.

“Maximus, who is this mare!?” Mountain Mix asked. “Who is she talking about!?”

I gave him a nod. “Hullo, Mr. Mix. It’s good to see you again, though I wish it were under better circumstances.”

“Amour, less talking, more grabbing.” She paused. “Not that that’s an order or anything. I’m sorry if that sounded bad.”

While she was talking, Night Light teleported out of the room and Twilight Velvet stared at the seat he’d once occupied. She’s not fucking stupid, so she put it together quickly enough. “Oh dear Celestia…”

Brume sat next to her mother and held her hand. She looked at me and I tapped two fingers over my chest. She accepted the bribe and said, “Mom, there was no way you could have known. Night Light can be the sneakiest of bastards when he wants to be, and we already knew that he had hate in his heart.”

Twilight Velvet didn’t cry, she just stared at the floor. “I’m married to a rapist.”

I looked around the room and studied everyone closely. “There will not be a word of this outside of this room. That’s a Royal Mandate. You’re all dismissed.”

People got up and left.

After they were done doing their leaving, Velvet sighed hard. “I knew it wasn’t just that one time. I knew that I wasn’t the only one.”

I seethed like a lake of magma. “So he’s got multiple victims. Okay.”

Velvet looked at me. “You’re not going after him?”

Brume waved her worries aside. “I’ve already got him in custody. Night Light was already going to the Changeling caves for what he did to me, but knowing that he did it to you as well is going to earn him immortality, frail bones that heal fast in awkward ways, and a free trip to Tartarus. An express package for the land of the damned.”

Twilight Velvet went pale moments before shit went sideways. “You give him to me! YOU GIVE HIM TO ME NOW!” Her face flushed, burning bright red, the same color as her eyes, scarily enough. Velvet was what Noir would call a natural-born Berserker, and that explained some things. Like why everyone was scared of her, mainly.

My wife beamed and snapped her fingers, leaving Night Light squatting down, hugging his knees. He never stood a chance and dodging Velvet’s wild uppercut, and with one nasty crack, she took care of his Magic. Night Light sprang to his hooves all too late and caught a nasty hammerfist straight to the top of his head, the force of the blow sending him to his knees. It was a beautiful moment, one that I’d have loved to record so I could watch it over and over again, but I guess seeing it in real life beats a shitty video anyway. When Velvet cocked back, she took a slow step past Night Light and drove her fist into his face so hard, his nose wasn’t the only thing I heard break. One blink later had Brume healing Velvet so she could continue.

It was a nasty beating. It was a lot of things, but barbaric was probably the most adequate word for it. Luckily, Velvet’s never actually killed anyone and her streak holds true, but I’m pretty sure that it’s only because of Brume and her constant monitoring of Night Light’s condition that things went as long as they did. It took a good ten minutes for Velvet to get all of that hate out of her system, and there wasn't really a hole Night Light wasn’t bleeding out of. The knife I’d let her borrow was still sticking out of his arse, I’m pretty sure the bloody piss was a good enough indicator of his mangled dick and, he was missing every one of the front-y teeths, Velvet had stabbed him in both ears before plugging his arse, and she’d beaten his eyes with knuckle-punches until they were soup in their sockets. Shit was mad gross, there was blood everywhere, and the smell was pretty bad, but when Velvet snapped out of her rage, she just looked around before looking down at her former husband.

“Well… It’s been awhile since that’s happened.” She said rather casually, a bit winded.

Brume gave her a smile. “A little too long if you ask me, but I might just be sadistic.”

“I’d say you are dear, but I love you anyway. Now. Are we calling the authorities?”

“I’m the authorities. I say what you did was perfectly justified.” I said haughtily.

Velvet nodded at me. “Indeed.” She looked back down to Night Light and let out a shout of rage before picking him up and slugging him again. “Hah. You know, I’m honestly surprised he’s not dead yet.”

“Same here. It’s better this way. Once he gets used to not having senses, we’ll give them back and overload all of them at once.” Brume said pleasantly. “It’ll be fun!”

“Sick little filly, aren’t you?” Velvet huffed. “No matter. What say we let your brother have a shot with him?”

“Sounds good to me.” I shrugged.

Brume scoffed. “Shining Armour would hit him twice and start bawling about why he’d hurt us like that.”

“Your brother is a bit of a wimp when it comes to family.” My mother-in-law commented as I started striking nerve clusters around Night Light’s body. “And you would be doing?”

“Making sure he wakes up to Hell. I’m pretty sure you did a good enough job, but my stuff hurts a lot more.” I said kindly.

“Oh, then make sure you get the soft bits, dear. I know it’s a little out there for you to touch another man’s privates, but I’m sure you have some way of making them feel like they’re constantly exploding.”

“Will do, Mum.” I jabbed him in the nerve cluster near the bladder because I’m an arse. It basically meant his whole pelvis was going to hurt, but whatever.

Velvet got off of him and looked at her hands, sighing. “I figured last time was the last time, but I guess Mommy’s meanstreak needs to stay around a little bit longer.”

Brume gave her a bloody hug. “Oh, you’re the coolest Mom ever! Beating up bad guys, discovering new things; you’re like Daring Do, but you’re beautiful!”

Brume’s Mom just gave her a weird look. “This is weird, but at least you like me. Would you like me to clean the blood off of you, or are you fine?”

My wife flashed them both clean and took care of the rest of the living room. Night Light’s blood flowed back into him and he healed in the space of a few seconds, but when he woke up and got those first few breaths in, he was screaming like a madman before Brume muzzled him. We sent him off to Arcadia to await further attention, but we stuck around and had tea with Twilight… I can say that we had tea with Twilight instead of Velvet now, and that sucks. Oh well. The tea was good, but we learned a few more secrets, and I put together another piece of the puzzle as to why Shining was so eager to have something crammed into his arse. Looks like I had a reason to go another round, though I figured that Brume was already aching for a turn with him after getting all riled up during Velvet’s bout. I hoped that she could wait long enough for me to get the first set of combos off at least, but you should know by know what I tend to do to hope. However, this little specimen most likely wasn’t expecting to be disemboweled and fed its organs until it was literally full of itself.

Fuck hope.

Brume and I came back to Castle Arcadia and checked up on how the rest of the day went. Fancy needed a word with me for some reason, so he met me in my office while I was smoking a pipe for some much needed comfort. I gestured for him to have a seat as I arced some lightning to get my shit started. He declined (Politely, of course), citing that he was here for matters that rather required one to stand in case they might need to run.

“Oi, unless you’re here to tell me that someone’s skipping south-side rotation again, don’t be worried.” I said casually. “What’s on the itinerary, mate?”

“Nothing, Sir-”

“Fuck. Bad sign.” I groaned.

Fancy sighed. “Max, please tell me you’ve done something while you were away.”

I gave him a tight smile. “Talked Brume out of world domination and ruining the country.”

“... You say that like it’s bad news.”

“Every rainbow has two ends: one side has a pot of fake gold, the other is a rabbit hole. The fake gold is what it is. The rabbit hole, however, leads down a dangerous path, and it involves finding out terrible secrets, ugly truths, underhanded bribery, sprinkle in some murder, assault, a few sacrifices, and world-changing decision making on the fly. A volatile catalyst for all of it hangs on your hip as you stroll along, and stepping the wrong way on the wrong stone might make it make the hole collapse entirely.”

Fancy and I shared a long look. He took out his very stylish, super cool and rather expensive pipe and held it with both hands, giving it a good look. “I once envied you, Old Chap. When you were just a Baron with few responsibilities, pleasant partners abound, and all the peace you could desire, I would have traded lives with you before you finished asking if I’d dare to take the risk. Times like these… When danger is at our doorstep and the epicenter comes forth, it’s always underneath your feet.” He twisted his moustache and looked at me curiously. “Through every trial that has been thrown at you, Maximus, my dear friend, you’ve risen to overcome it, but my faith wanes for this one occasion. When Brume decides to stop being cowed by the fear of losing your affection, she will destroy everything we know, and nopony will escape the fallout as long as they reside in this Castle, but I will remain by your side. You’ve never lead me wrong before, Maximus. Don’t let me down now, my boy. Not after we fought for this peace.”

Fancy’s conviction was strong throughout his monologue, and I understood every word for what it was worth. My surrogate brother was telling me that he thought we were headed straight for ruin, but that he trusted in and was loyal to me. I took a toke off of my pipe and held it deep for a moment. I exhaled as I said, “I’m fighting, Fancy. The fight never fucking stops, so that’s what I gotta keep doing. Once I can get Brume on the level and hopefully turn her scary arse good, we can… Well, I can't even say we can enjoy the peace because at this point, I’m always waiting for bad shit to happen. I’ve got plans in play, Fancy. A couple of people owe me favours, and if Brume gets to the point where she goes genocidal, then... “ I shook my head. “I don’t like this. I’m tired again, Fancy,” I said softly. “I’m tired of fighting.”

“It does tend to wear on you.” He sighed. “However, it’s not in you to give up, Maximus. It never has been. You’ve always been the last stallion standing. Mongrolia: Mörön. You were trapped, stuck under a mound of those bloody little Steppe Ponies and you fought your way out with a dagger in one hand and Hardy Veneer’s dogtags in the other. You have something to fight for here just like you did then, Old Chap. You may not see it in your dismay, but there’s still something to fight for.” Fancy looked at me as if he was daring me to contradict him.

I hadn’t planned on it. “Mate, I know all that, but that was a fucking rousing speech. I’m going to write that down since it was short enough.”

Fancy gave me a look. “I work with a stallion who would get an umbrella if he was standing in the Castle during an earthquake.”

“It’d be an enchanted umbrella, you can be damn sure about that. And big. I like big umbrellas.” I replied goofily.

“I’d tell you to get serious, but I don't give the orders around here and I know you far too well to assume that you actually would.” Fancy said, smirking a little.

“Damn straight, Fancy Pantsy.” I gestured toward him with my pipe. After a moment of silence, I said, “I’ll take care of us, Fancy. I can’t afford to let Equestria down”

“Of course, Max. If I might ask, what was the sacrifice?”

“Just a bit of dignity.” I lied softly. “Little bit of pride. Spoonful of self-respect. The usual.”

“... Of course… You know, if it hurts, I have a remedy that’s absolutely magical.”

I looked at him. “Beg pardon, mate? Why would what hurt?”

Fancy blinked in surprise. “You didn’t allow Brume to… ‘Take control’?” He asked, air quoting so hard.

I burst out laughing and felt my face flush from the precision of the question, though the accuracy was off, or vice versa. I never did get the difference in school. “Mate! No, my God, mate no! Brume didn’t take my arse!”

Fancy stroked his moustache. “Then what would make you lose such an odd combination of Pony Capital?”

I raised a brow at him until I converted it into Human words. Well, Just one word really, and that was Human. Now I’m just over explaining. “I would’ve told you if I wanted you to know, and that’s not a cue to start guessing. Am-scray, old dude.”

He gave me a funny look. “Was that a dismissal?”

“No, it was an invitation to sit on my lap as I wheel you out. Whaddya say, big boy? Wanna hop on pop and see what comes up?” I asked salaciously.

Fancy’s look stayed on his face. “You do realize that I will do this, correct?”

“Dare you.”

“I’m not kidding.”

“Double Dog Dare, Dude.” I threw down the gauntlet.

“If I sit on your lap and you have a reaction, you realize that it means that you’re what one might call a ‘gayfer’, Sir.” Fancy taunted.

I almost took the easy shot, but went for the dick instead of the heart. “Do. Deca. Dog. Dare. Bring it.” I pushed myself away from my desk and patted my lap.

Fancy sniffed. “You. You Sir. You are about to be tantalized by the finest ‘old man’ you have ever met.” He strolled over to me and began to sit down, but then he paused and reached back for the armrests of my wheely chair.

Fancy sat on my dick, but that wasn’t… That’s not… That’s not all. I… I have to stay strong.

The… The old man sat down on my lap and started wiggling his bottom on me. “Oh, hold on a moment Old Chap, let these old bones get comfy.”

I sat in abject horror as he ‘tested the waters’, but he didn’t stop. “You old fucking twink, just fucking sit!”

He looked back at me with the most pathetic pouty face. “Oh Sir, can’t I just get comfy?”

I shocked the fuck out of him and had a giggle as he hopped off of me faster than I’d felt the urge to vomit. “Maximus! Can you not take a little teasing!?”

“Sorry, did you feel something, shocking, while you were on my lap?” I said, emulating the late Jim Carrey. R.I.P. He’s not actually dead as of the time of me writing this, but after Dumb and Dumber To… Nah. He’s dead to me.

Fancy glared at me. “You’re not that big, you know.”

“Not according to your gape, you little whorse.” I smirked.

“Shit.” He swore under his breath. “Stop countering my jibes, you cretin!”

“Come on, Fancy. I’m one of the few people that can get you to shut up.” I said, grinning.

He rolled his eyes. “That’s because the things that I can tear you down with would get me killed or cost me your friendship.”

“Yeah, thanks for the restraint.” I said curtly.

“It’s no issue, though you might want to stop giving me reasons to bite my tongue anyway.” Fancy replied flatly.

“I gotcha, mate. I’m still working on it.” I chuckled.

“Work fast, my friend. Work fast.” He rubbed his arse. “I’m not fond of being electrocuted, you know.”

“I’ll just start throwing things at you. They might be bolts of lightning, but at least it won’t be electrocution.”

“Shut up, Max.”

“Lick my arse, old man.”

“That, Sir, I am not willing to do. At least, not for you.” Fancy smirked. “I’ll be taking my leave to make sure things haven’t completely melted down quite yet.”

“Sweet. I’ve got shit to do myself. I’ll have to see you tomorrow, Fancy.”

He gave me the salute. “To a new day and a new hope.”

I returned it. “Bring forth the dawn, be stilled the night.”

“Ah, I see you’re well read on the Equestrian classics. We’ll have to discuss Ponacretes’ Theorum on Dragon Morality, if you’ve taken the time to browse the rest of the book.”

“I have one of the original scrolls it was copied onto, mate. The writing’s in Alicin.” I said carefully.

“... I don’t know what that is, Old Chap.”

“And what a good thing that is. We’ll have to discuss it over some bourbon sometime, unless you’d rather we switch things up a little.”

“Good bourbon and good company are hard to find, yet you have them both in spades. I’m a traditional kind of stallion, as you know.”

“Understood. I drank through most of my midrange and cheaper booze, so we’ll be drinking from the best of Equestria if we get that chance soon.”

“And I couldn’t convince you to break it out for any other occasion?” Fancy asked, raising a brow along with the corner of his mouth.

“Ah, it’s nothing a little groveling couldn’t remed-” I burst out laughing because the fucking idea of having Fancy do that shit was ludicrous.

He joined me shortly after and took his leave moments later, so I stowed the facade and stroked the little bubble of happiness inside of me for a quick dose of dopamine before heading to Brume’s side so I could go and get her set up, but her dungeon was already made and her two biggest enemies were both strung up on tables with their hands and hooves nailed into the wood. It looked like it sucked, but I didn’t feel any pity for Blueblood and I still can’t fathom feeling pity for Night Light. To rape your own child… Fucking…

Ah fuck.

Shit enrages me to no end. It’s like I’m about to have a panic attack every time I think about what that sick fuck did to his own. God. Damn-

Woosah. Wooooosaaaaah.

I looked around for the type of custodian that does little to no cleaning and found her at a table filling a wall rack with various painful looking instruments. She acknowledged me with a raise of her hand, but stayed focused on her task up until a timer went off and she crossed the large, straight up terrifying room to go to what was definitely a mini-lab. Since I had one other thing to do that could evidently be put on hold, I waited on Brume to do her lab bullshit and fill two syringes. She handed one to me with a smile and I stared at it for a few seconds.

“What does it do?” I asked.

“It’s a mutation serum! Highly radioactive stuff, but the syringe is bonded with a lead alloy, so don’t worry your handsome, sometimes big head about it.” Brume said with a smile.

“... Mutation?”

“You’re not on board.”

“Kinda pushing my morals on this one. To tear apart one’s natural form is a horrible thing, and to do it repeatedly is straight evil. Mutating someone for the sake of torturing them in new ways…?” I shook my head. “These are two of the people I hate the most between three separate worlds, billions upon billions of people, but I’m… I’m really not sure they deserve this.”

Brume squared her jaw, staring me down. “What’s your policy on rapists?”

“No mercy.” I answered automatically.

“Then you can do Night Light!” She smiled.

I was about to object. I was about to remind Brume of just who it was that she was telling me to turn into a monster, but then I realized who I was about to jam the fucking needle into and my blood boiled enough for me to stop giving a fuck. Blueblood was still iffy, but then I thought about how he tried to take my wife from me and I couldn’t care less about whether or not it brought him an inhumane level of suffering. He’d tried to do the same to me, and he was going to suffer for it. Brume and I synced up, but my wife requested that she do both of the injections if I was having my doubts. I told her that my conscience was as clear as it ever gets, which was true as fuck for the most part.

After I stuck the needle in Night Light’s neck and emptied the syringe, I waited for something to happen, but it was a day for unexpected shit and I was anxious as fuck, so I went to go stand next to Brume just in case they both exploded or something. All seemed to be well until Blueblood started writhing, the straps and nails keeping him in place while he suffered. His fur bulged and his limbs started bending in unnatural ways before Night Light’s reaction began. I watched Blueblood for a few more moments before switching to Night Light, though it was rather hard to look at either of them. The sources of those screams… They looked like they owned their voices, if that tells you how horrific the affair was, and it wasn’t even over. Not by a long shot.

Night Light’s body bloated and warped much like Blueblood, but instead of staying blobular (It’s not a word, but it’s accurate) like the former Prince, the former Drill Sergeant started shrinking until his fur was wrapped around his bones and there was no more… Meat, I guess. He was a furry skeleton, but just when I was certain that he was dead, he started filling out again, but this time his hooves started warping, seeming to be made of the cuticle (The actually hard part of the hoof) up to the knee, every inch of his new legs seeming to be carved with pre-inscribed runes. Two more arms sprouted just above his waist, and as he regained lungs, he let out a deathly moan that made my bones feel as though they’d been drenched in ice.

Horror. It was pure horror. I don’t know how else to describe it. I watched as Night Light’s fur lengthened and turned into steel, his hands elongating around the nails holding them in place while his arms snapped and shattered as they tried to grow beyond God Magic level restraints. I felt ill, but I couldn’t look away, the atrocity against all sentient races burning itself into my memory. In a daze, I turned to Blueblood and would have been ill if Brume wouldn’t have cleared the nausea with a single touch.

Blueblood. First and foremost: No one deserves what happened to him. No rapist, even if they get their own Goddamn child. Nobody. I… Writing about Night Light was hard enough. I never liked Blueblood. Never have, never will. Bastard insulted my wife, pulled petty bullshit with her, and tried to take her from me. Just thinking about that…living goop, always fucking screaming. Always crying. Never, not once, while Noir and I worked Blueblood over did he beg for death. He asked for Celestia, asked for his mother and his nannies, but he never broke at the foundation. To a certain degree, in a certain light, if you do a raindance around the Burning Man on the full moon of the true eighth month with the shreds of six hymens tied around your cock, I have a shred of respect for Blueblood. The guy was a piece of shit, but he was persistent in being a piece of shit, and that takes balls.

Guess they’re gone now.

While I was trying not to be traumatized, Brume was giggling her fucking arse off like she was watching slapstick before she erected the bubble. “Ah! This is perfect! Well, it’s simply terrible that you’re probably going to have nightmares about this, but I’ve never had more fun!”

“... Holy Christ, Brume… What have we done?” I asked numbly.

“We’ve committed a crime against ponyity! Aren’t you excited!”

“... Not this. Oh my God, not... Not this.” I murmured, Blueblood's screaming varied in octave until it settled on one that was most efficient at killing me from the inside out..

Brume held me, but I shoved her at about half strength, meaning that she went a decent distance as she stumbled. “A-Amour?”

I stared at her. “Twilight, I can’t sugarcoat this any kinda way. You’re a monster.”

She gave me a look. “So quick to forget Esteril, are we?”

I snapped my fingers. “That’s how long Esteril took. No one suffered. No one melted into a screaming puddle of flesh, Brume! Yes, I’m a fucking monster, but you’re a God-Damned Eldritch horror for Christ's fucking sake!” Panic switch: Flipped. “Oh-my-God-Oh-my-God-Oh-my-God-Oh-my-God-”

Brume slapped me to shut me up, but I damn-near shut down. “Maximus! Will you get ahold of yourself?”

“How do you do this to people, Brume? How do you warped someone’s body into-” I started hyperventilating and pacing simultaneously, until she calmed me down with another touch.

“Okay, so you don’t need to be present while I’m having fun-time. We’ve established that, and we’re going to be reminded of the fact that you were pretty eager to help.”

“I thought they were going to grow extra fingers! Extra ears! I didn’t think you’d make them completely un-fucking-recognizable!” I groaned, dragging my hands down my face. “Dear fucking God, I can’t believe I fucking helped do that shit! What the fuck!?” I pounded my brow until Brume caught me.

“Amour, sweetheart-”

“Brume stop. Please fucking just stop. You- there’s no justifying this! This is the latest in lines that should not be crossed! I-I-I didn’t know black got this fucking dark!”

She sighed. “I really will slap you again-”

“I can’t deal with this.” I whimpered. “I-I-I… Brume, I’m… I’m not leaving, just… I’m gonna be in my study.”

She smiled sadly. “Comfort corner?”

“Nip nook.”

“Ancient wine?”

“... I don’t know.”

Brume handed me a bottle that she’d conjured from the ether. “I made it strong and smooth. It should get the job done.”

I looked at it for a long, hard moment. I remembered a lot of times Twilight had caught me with a bottle in hand. I remembered the look in her eye when she saw me become a coward, when she saw the weakness within me and how I was giving into it. I remembered how she'd teleport that bottle out of my hand, snatch it from my grasp, wrest it from my grip to keep me from running away from reality. I broke that Goddamn bottle in my left hand, and looked up to the woman I was married to.

“No.”

She gave me a worried look. “Amour-”

“Don’t you fucking call me that.” I felt myself slip into Alicorn Mode against my will. “Twilight Sparkle is the only person allowed to use that name.”

Brume stood and stared at me. “... Is… Are you threatening me right now?”

“No. This is my ultimatum.” I gazed into her eyes. “No more. Hoc est ultimum paleas.” I said, Alicin giving my words the arcane ring, though it was just 'This is the last straw.'. I continued with, “Quiescat vox tua a malo."

She gave me a womanly look. “No.”

“Then don't ask me for intimacy, Brume. I’ve dipped my dick in evil, but by no means am I going to make the same mistake over and over again.” I said coldly.

Her look turned into a hurt glare. “I am not a mistake.”

“No, but you’ve been making an awful lot of them. Choose, Brume. Me or evil, because you’re going to make both of us miserable at this rate.”

“I’ve been making a lot of sacrifices lately.” Brume said with no small amount of petulance.

“None of it is anything that Twilight wouldn’t have asked of me-”

“Twilight Sparkle was a naive, oblivious filly, and she is dead! She is gone, Amour-”

“DON’T YOU FUCKING CALL ME THAT!” I roared. “DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE! I didn’t marry you, Brume! I married this nerdy little hug-slut who liked to hang out with her friends and spend quality time with family! I married a woman who made the biggest anomaly in her equation fit in and function as a part of the inner cogs of the world! I married a woman who had compassion for every innocent soul out there, who would rather heal an enemy than hurt them, who wanted every. Single. Fucking. Person on the planet to smile at least once a day! I didn’t marry this murderous, sadistic, hate-filled being! I didn’t marry someone who takes pleasure in the agony of others! Even I, when I was at my fucking worst, wasn’t happy to see people who wanted me hurt or dead suffering! Was there a grim satisfaction!? Yeah! Did I want to fucking record it so I could see it whenever I want? No! I mean, what… What demons were eating you up so bad that you turned into this?”

Brume closed her eyes and pressed a finger to her lips. “Okay, so you haven’t said anything untrue, but a lot of that was a little hurtful.”

I just fucking looked at her.

“Well, the way I see it is that we need a break.” She said causally. “Not long, just a couple of days. Exclusive. No extra-marital partners or anything-”

“We don’t need a break, I need my wife back.”

“... That was another hurtful thing to say, Max.”

“I want to twist the knife and say that I don’t care, but I do. I love you, and I always will, but… I don’t want to live with someone who’s willing to hurt people like you are.”

Brume opened her eyes and Magicked a fidget spinner into her hands because she’s actually literally fucking autistic. “What do you want me to do Max?”

“Cure yourself of your Alicorn Insanity.” I asked.

“... So you’re not happy with me the way I am?”

I blinked slowly. “When I think of the atrocities that I don’t doubt for a moment that you’re going to commit, then no. I can’t be okay with that. Not if I want to stay who I am.”

She gave me a pouty look. “Why can’t you accept that this is who I am now?”

“... Because I have too many methods to kill myself if that’s true.” I said, my heart aching.

Brume’s entire body slumped. “It hasn’t even been a week in my new form and you’re… Fuck.” She put a hand to her forehead and started pacing. After thirty minutes of letting her think, I almost interrupted her, but her Banshee’s cry of absolute frustration kind of caught me before I could speak. The woman in my wife’s body stormed up to me and jammed a finger into my chest. “Listen here, Mister. You do not dictate this relationship! You will not use my love for you against me!”

I surprised her by smiling. The tears fell when I started chuckling. “Do you really think I’d do this to you if I had another move?” I sniffed hard. “Do you really think I want to, knowing God-damn well how bad it fucking hurts?” It was hard to keep up the smile, but I was falling through the floor. Through sobs, I said, “I hate myself so much for this, and it’s just more to the fucking pile at this point, Brume. It’s like every turn with you is another slap in the fucking face where I have to bargain away another piece of myself to keep the peace. I don’t want this. I don’t want anything less, Brume, but you’ve got me stuck.” I let loose a thick chuckle. “The worst part is that you’ll either agree and I’ll have to live the rest of our lives knowing that I stabbed you in the back, or you’ll turn me down and commit the next sin to be followed by God knows how many more.”

Brume’s finger stayed on my chest until it was joined by the rest of her hand. She shed a few tears of her own. “I guess I never really stopped hurting you, did I.”

“Not since the transformation.” I whispered.

“... Can I still expect a goodnight kiss?” She asked shakily

I gave her a hollow look. “If you want one.”

“Amour, baby...” I closed my eyes and stopped myself from cursing at her. “We… We love each other, right?”

“Yeah.”

“... Swore to do anything for each other, right?” She asked softly.

I nodded, dreading where this was going. “Right.”

“Then give me my goodnight kiss now and let me sleep alone.”

I gently cupped her face and let the familiarity of the motion carry me through the act, but when I kissed Brume, all I could taste was bittersweet wine. It was actually pretty fucking bad, and there was no feeling to accompany the kiss. It was physical contact and that was all it was. “If I don’t see you again, then good night. I’ll see you at breakfast.” I said, certain that the ache in my soul could be heard in my voice.

Brume licked her lips and stopped me before I could leave. “Max… You are my world. Once I finish my plans… We should talk again.”

I sighed. “You’re planning on breaking that promise.”

“... Trust me when I say that I’ll make it up to you.”

I looked at her. “I’m done crying for today, but let it be known that I would be crying as I say ‘There’s nothing that makes it okay.’. You know it’s going to stab deep.”

“Not if I don’t tell you what it is.” She gave me a mischievous little smile and the shards of my heart got stirred around in my chest.

“... I’m going to go find Noir.”

“Don’t die.” Brume gave me a little smile.

She stopped smiling because my face probably said something along the lines of ‘I wish I was that lucky’. I didn't stick around much longer, preferring to go directly to Noir. I made sure to teleport to her back and stick the landing, so I wasn’t noticed immediately. However, we weren’t on Earth. We weren’t on Earth at all. From the iridescent, misty ground to the glorious structures in the distance, I could tell that we were in the Heavens, and that my arse was fucking grarse.

Like I didn’t have enough actual fecal matter on my plate. Seriously, with the elephant turd that is my wife’s mental and physical state, I really didn’t fucking need the gods to started adding in scoops of striped-polecat scat (Some of the smelliest poo on Earth, for the record) onto the fucking veritable Round Table that is my plate, evidently. I know God. I know him pretty decently, considering that he doesn't make a habit of talking to many Humans. I knew in my heart of hearts that sending up a prayer and crossing myself was pointless, but it made me feel like I wasn’t immediately about to be slain. Impending doom was still on my mind when I felt Magic seize me, ceasing any movement, and when I opened my eyes to see Kali smiling at me, I swallowed the ‘Imminent Death’ aliment as it came.

“Wotcher. Guessing we’re not here for a chat?” I said, adrenaline coursing through my veins, pushing the events of the day to the back of my mind.

Kali mussed up my hair. “Why, I would just like a word with you is all! Our new upstart little god seems to have lost his powers!”

“... Fuck.”

“I am rather sure that ‘fuck’ is a curse, so I applaud you on your recognition of the situation you are in.” Kali said merrily, her Indian accent making it hard to take her seriously while her being pitch black and having four arms made me want to shit myself. I was doing the fishstick and it was a very delicate state of mind, which is to say my 'hopes' were flaky at best and they were deep fried to death.

“Any chance I can lie, cheat, or bribe my way out of whatever you’re about to put me through?” I tried.

Kali stroked my face, making my flesh raise up in goosebumps. “Oh no. Not at all. If I understand the word, then I would say that you are ‘fucked’.”

“You’ve got a great grasp of swearing. Probably gonna be the last compliment you get from me for awhile, but you’ll hear a lot more of the swearing.” I sighed.

Kali reached into the satchel that was hanging by her side and pulled out a pair of scissors that made me prepare to shut shit down. They were obviously fucking meant to cut someone’s tongue off. “That will not be much of a problem. I prefer my slaves silent, so open up!”

No one came to save me.

I… I need a break.

Author's Notes:

... Fuck.

It's an odd coincidence right here <---

As Always, Stay Cool, Kids.