I’ve waited so long for this day to come, waited so long for this very moment that I could have sped up by detailing extra days in my journals, but I’ve been patient. I’ve been biding my time, slowly but surely in order to reach this very moment, but then I get stuck on a planet full of four-legged fuckers who I don’t want to charm for the usual reasons. I was hoping that I could talk Twilight into letting me sleep with as many of our friends and the Royal Family as I could in two days so I could write all about it and just absolutely fill this collection with dirty, dirty smut, but alas. My life sucks sometimes.

Oh well. It’s not vital or anything.

Anyway, Romulus let me relax for a few days after I took him home to his parents back on Earth. I figured that he was just trying to be extra nice or some shit when the far superior meals started coming, but it wasn’t going to stop me from wrecking his arse in the coliseum. No, I was feeling particularly grudge-y about the affair as a whole since he still had Twilight’s wellbeing connected to his own through magical means. I thought it was a particularly cheap move, though I had to admit that it was probably something I would do if I were to ever take a high value target from a stronger foe. It made sense, after all.

On the fourth day of me making Twilight know exactly how much I like snack time, Romulus came in while we were taking a cuddle break, took one whiff of the air, and gave us a funny look. “Alright, why does it smell like nothing but wine in here?”

Twilight blushed brightly and I just grinned. “Dunno what you’re talking about, mate. What brings you here?”

Romulus rolled his eyes. “If you’re going to hold out on me, that’s fine. I can figure out how to make wine, but I still got white lightning anyway.”

“Oh, there’s no alcohol in here, mate. I don’t suggest digging any deeper than that.” I chuckled.

Twilight cozied up to me and said, “It’s really nothing to worry about. I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, whatever. So Kaid, I need you to head to Mexicolt. Beige has swept our forces to Mexicolt City, but we’re having trouble taking the capital itself. Corona Rey, the King of Mexicolt, has holed up El Castillo and they have some pretty effective anti-siege tactics. I want you to go in and bring the guy to me, and you don’t have to kill anyone if you’re good enough to get to him without being caught outright.” Jeremy said, his tone brokering no arguments.

“I can get it done, but we do have an alternative. I could always just pull some tricky-dicky bullshit and get Corona Rey in front of you within the next thirty minutes.” I said loftily.

Jeremy spread his hands. “Proceed.”

I nodded and reached into Celestia’s mind before searching for a memory containing Corona Rey. I borrowed it long enough to learn what his face looked like and had Twilight give me some Unicorn Magic so I could scry the guy, which would have been great for taking care of Discord had I actually had the idea to do that earlier in life. C'est la vie and all that shit. Two minutes later, I had Corona Rey in my grasp and Romulus was staring him down. True to form, Corona Rey had some stones on him and went so far as to berate Jeremy from within the confines of a shield, but it was mostly bluster at this point since everyone in the room knew that Corona Rey didn’t stand a chance at escape.

“What do you want from Mexicolt, you cur!?” Rey exclaimed. “You will not have her! The Motherland will stay free as she already has!”

“Yes.” Romulus nodded sagaciously.

“... What?” Rey asked, a little staggered.

“Mexicolt will stay free. It’s that simple.”

“... I do not understand.”

Romulus inclined his head toward him. “I’m saying that you’ll continue to rule Mexicolt as you see fit, but you’ll answer to The Legion and the person we put in power over Equestria. If you don’t fall in line, you will be handled and your country will be left to rot in ruin. Plot against us, and you will be placed in a box for three days at a time, force fed a mixture of milk and honey. I’m sure you can understand what a liquid diet will do to you while you’re trapped in a box, of course.”

Corona Rey bristled. “You will not-”

“You don’t get to say what we do, mate. You’re the one in the shitty position, and your life lies on the line. Do you need some scars for us to get our point across?” I asked, glad that Jeremy and I had the foresight to take our party elsewhere so Twilight wouldn’t have to see.

Corona Rey grit his teeth. “No matter what you sons of sows do to me, I will not bend to your will!”

Romulus raised a brow at me and I raised one in turn. “I can take that resistance from him.”

“Do it.”

I reached into Corona Rey and stole his rebellious drive and stroked his tiny obedience sphere until it grew large enough for me to feel comfortable enough to let it go. “And we should be good.”

Rey stared at me. “What have you done to me?”

“Don’t worry about it. We’re going to go tell your men to stand by and I’m going to go find me a Princess.” I gave him a smile.

Rey just blinked a few times, so I grabbed him and we went to Betwixt as best buddies. Simply the best of pals. Two peas in a pod. While Corona tried to kick me, I told him to knock it off and listed off all the things that I was going to do to him and his country if he resisted my will, and he quickly fell in line when I stole his will to live from him. It actually drained the colour from the fellow, and ripping that one out had been quite the experience for him, but that’s what he gets for not doing what I said to do. I was feeling particularly merciless in Betwixt, so before I just up and pulled us to Mexicolt, I gave his will to live back to him and ripped it out a few times, making sure that Corona Rey knew who was in charge. I’d actually left him a little traumatized by the rapid change in emotion he felt every time I did it, so when we got to Mexicolt, he was nice and subdued. He gave the orders for his men to stand down and they did as he said, much to my pleasure, so I left Rey alone and wandered out of the Castle with an armed escort and a Royal Messenger to accompany me.

I suppose I should feel bad about fucking with Corona Rey’s head, but I really just want to get this whole thing over and done with so I can return to Equus and say hello to all my friends and family. Spending close to three months away from them is bothering me to no end, and I’m starting to get a little desperate, honestly. Maybe I’ll be extra nice to someone and not kill them when I really want to by way of paying back my debt to karma. Hopefully it doesn’t come to bite me in the arse, because I’m really not looking forward to that shit. Great, now I’ve gone and made myself start feeling guilty, though I kind of should feel bad for doing bad shit. Two plus two and all that.

Anyway, my small cadre followed me out to the Castle Walls and the messenger ran around, shouting in Mexicoltian as he did so. He looked like a fucking loon, but if that’s how they got their points across during times of distress, then I wouldn’t be all that surprised to find that Beige’s team had pushed them back with little to no effort. I strolled through the gates with my escort and started heading toward the barricades, and once I was right up on them, I started ‘dismantling’ them with my left hand. It was as easy as snapping twigs, but that sounds arrogant and I really try not to be.

After I was done smashing through the barricades, a few Gryphons that looked like they were having a time of it showed up and asked if I was Romulus. I told them that I was one of Beige’s friends and they lead me and my temporary dudes to one of the houses that they’d claimed as their own. I still don’t know if Jeremy called his army ‘The Legion’ because it’s the actual name for the thing (Roman style, of course) or if he was just using it as a general term, but I like it as a name. The Legion’s headquarters was actually an entire city block, and waiting in the heart of that block was Beige herself, looking like she would rather be anywhere other than the overly hot Hellhole she’d been ordered to go to.

“Looking swell, love. I see the Mexicolt heat is treating you well.” I said cheerfully, wiping some sweat off of my own brow.

“This place is uninhabitable by the sane. I would suppose that you have subdued Corona Rey?” Beige droned.

“Yup. He’s with us now, so we shouldn’t have any problems.” I gave her a little smirk.

She nodded, the corners of her mouth twitching slightly. “Good news. Are these men here to help spread the word that the fight is over?”

“They are. Things shouldn’t be too hard to wrap up, but you might want to get a move on with it. I’d just amplify my voice and shout that the fight is over or some shit, but no one has a reason to listen to me.” I shrugged. “Oh well.”

“There are plenty of reasons to listen to you, it is just that not all of them are important.” Beige said blandly. “If there is nothing else, then I have to get started on finishing with our business here.”

“Have fun!” I said shortly before teleporting back to Twilight’s side for a little more rest and relaxation.

She asked how things had gone and I told her that we’d had to threaten Corona Rey to get him to do what we said, but Twilight was fine with it as long as we weren’t actually torturing him. I don’t think that ripping his will to live from him was torturous per se, but it certainly did suck for the guy. Either way, it’s not like I was going to mention that little tidbit to Twilight. She did, however, think to ask how I planned on getting Cadance on board with all of this and I told her that I’d planned on giving Cadance a choice; either let Celestia and Luna run the country again until someone worse than Jeremy comes along, snatches it from them again, and then runs it into the ground, or to take over for herself and rule as she sees fit. Twilight herself said that it wasn’t much of a choice, but it was what it was.

That was all earlier today, and I can’t really say that I’m surprised that securing the second to last piece of the puzzle was easy. I mean, I’m fucking overpowered as shit at this point. Someone fucking nerf me, for God’s- No, no actually, please don’t. I’d rather stay this strong, just in case some old fashioned bullshit comes along and I need some new fashioned strength to topple whatever problem comes at me. Sure, I resolved the thing with Jeremy pretty peacefully all things considered, but I still wanted to deck the mother fucker for kidnapping Twilight in the first place. Then again, if he’d just get that damned spell off of Twilight, I wouldn’t be as ready to do it.

That’ll be all for now. Hopefully I stop committing crimes against the mind before I fuck with the wrong head and go insane myself or some shit.

So the next day saw me taking a trip down to the dungeons to go see Celestia and Luna. It hadn’t been all that long since I’d visited them, so they were aware of the situation up to a certain point, barring the finer details of the master plan. The random Changeling that lead me there was a quiet fellow and I couldn’t coax him into a conversation, but I wasn’t really looking for a conversation anyway. I just needed a reason to get out and walk since I was feeling a little pent up, not really having a place to go during the day. I mean, at least the place I was stuck was nice, but I’ve always been the type to go a little stir crazy if I’m not biding my time doing something.

The Changeling stood outside of Celestia and Luna’s cell, so I just teleported in and caught them talking about freedom. “Hullo, ladies. Good to see you again.”

“Max! What’s the situation? Are you any closer to freeing us?” Celestia asked quickly.

“Much closer, actually.” I gave her a little smile. “I just need you to tell me where I can find Cadance and we can be that much closer.”

Celestia narrowed her eyes. “How do you know about her?”

“Different planet, Celly. I met her there.” I said patiently.

“... Right. Why do you need to find Cadance?” She asked slowly.

“So she can take your place. This all started because you’ve been slowly taking over the world, so you’re no longer going to be on the throne. However, I want someone with better morals than you who shares your ideals on the throne, so I’m calling in Cadance since she’s been trained to lead and happens to be another Alicorn Princess.”

“... You would just let Romulus take Equestria from us?” Luna asked, shocked.

“Yeah. You’ve had the country for millennia. It’s time to let go and advise instead of rule.” I said softly.

Celestia glowered at me, her eyes full of tears. “You traitor! You would just let the sovereign rulers of Equestria be dethroned because you- you think they’ve held their positions too long!?”

I tilted my head at her. “No, I’m suggesting you abdicate peacefully because no one knows what the future holds.” I said cryptically.

She narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean by that, Maximus?”

I shrugged. “Could mean any number of things. Could mean that you can make sure Cadance keeps Equestria prosperous and safe, or you could try and resist the tides of change and end up stuck here for who knows how long. The only reason I’ve even gotten this good of a deal is because I can send Romulus back to Earth, but I know he’s not going to leave without certain measures in place to protect his friends and his country.”

“You want us to be cowed-” Celestia started.

“I want you to be smart, like you’ve had to be for the past four thousand years. You can still look out for everything you’ve built if you play along, but if you keep your pride, you’re going to be stuck here forever.” I reasoned.

Sunbuns glared at me, her tears falling. “Everything I’ve worked for. Everything in the last four millennia, Maximus, is all going to go down the drain because some upstart sapien didn’t like my way of doing things.”

Luna wrapped a wing around her. “All will be well, sister. Perhaps this was the course our path was meant to take?”

Celestia bit back some harsh words and let out a thick sob. “Equestria…”

“Once this shadow passes, the Sun will shine again, Celestia. The only thing that’s changing is who’s sitting in the throne.” I said softly.

She glared at me some more. “Leave! If you have nothing better to do than stab Equestria in the back after all she’s done for you, then you can rot in Tartarus!”

I nodded. “You’re too smart to let this blind you. You’ll see a way out of this soon enough, Celestia.”

“B E G O N E!” Celestia bellowed. -T H O T. Eh, she wouldn't appreciate it for what it is.

And so I got to being gone. I’d known that Celestia wasn’t going to take it well since she was a control freak, but I’d honestly expected Luna to lose her shit as well. She, however, seemed to be taking it as it came and just didn’t want to incense Celestia further by giving her someone to vibe off of, which I appreciated. When Celestia got close to flipping her shit, I felt terrible for taking what she’d built from her, but then again, Noir and Nyx had both lost far more and had come full circle, so I was hoping that Celestia would get the fuck over it and avoid getting herself killed or some shit. As I walked around my room silently, Twilight eventually joined me in making circuits, but she knew that I didn’t want to talk quite yet, so she let me pace in peace.

“Celestia doesn’t like the idea of stepping down.” I said after eight laps.

“Well, you once told me that she was a meticulous control freak like none you’d ever seen before.” Twilight reasoned.

“Yeah, that’s still terribly accurate. I knew she wasn’t going to like the idea, I just didn’t think she’d hate it this much. I guess I overestimated her adaptability.” I sighed. “I guess not everyone is as skilled as you are when it comes to sudden life changes.”

“... Really? This from the guy who went from a peaceful everyday life to nearly getting killed multiple times, wandering around in the Everfree, being a Noble and then Royalty? Max, you’re just about the most adaptable person I’ve ever met, so it’s no surprise that you overestimated someone else’s ability to see the situation they’re in.”

“Still, I should’ve found a better way to break the news to Celestia other than telling her that her time on the throne was up and that someone would be taking over in her stead.”

Twilight stopped me and held my hands, gazing deep into my eyes. “You gave her the most important information and that’s all anyone should ever ask of you. If Celestia took it hard, then that’s her fault for not understanding that you’re just doing your best to make sure that everyone comes out of this alive.”

I gave my wife a kiss for being awesome. Then I gave her another because the first one was a little too short for my tastes. “I’m not blameless in this, but it’s nice to know that I have your support. I’ll get us the rest of the way through this, Twilight, I promise you that.”

Twilight flinched and rubbed her neck. “I think Romulus just got-” She winced and grabbed her neck more firmly, so I pulled myself to Romulus’ side to see what the fuck was going on and saw that Tirek was chasing after the guy with a fervor.

“OI!” I shouted, garnering Tirek’s attention.

Romulus put some distance between himself and Tirek, but as the Centaur started moving, he started yelling and bucking, which was probably because the floor beneath him was glowing with heat and was most likely ruining his hooves. I took the time to summon Ol’ Harmless because he was the best blade I had and I started hamstringing Tirek all over again, throwing lightning and riding it to make my passes so I wouldn’t have to touch the floor underneath him, just in case Friendly Fire Mode was on. The overgrown Centaur collapsed to the floor in seconds, the sheer heat from the stones burning his flesh, and as it all began to liquefy, Tirek’s horns gained a familiar glow and within the space between them formed a ball of pure energy that made me giddy for all the wrong reasons. I reached out with my Aetherial Magic and a manic smile on my face, and when my Magic made contact with Tirek’s, shit got real tasty real fast.

Once we made Magical contact, I could identify that Tirek’s Magic was actually just an unholy amalgamation of all sorts of shit, and that alone would probably make Discord’s panties so wet that he’d need a whole box of tissue to sort the issue. The pure chaotic vibe I was getting from Tirek’s Magic made me thirsty for his power, so I prepared to make my move as Tirek struggled his hardest against the inevitable. Once his spell (Or what-the-fuck-ever he was doing) was at its pinnacle and Tirek only had a comparatively small reservoir of Magic left in his body, I used my True Theft to steal the ball of Magic and absorbed it with my right hand, loving the feeling of the power as it coursed through my veins like gushing gold. I reminded myself to slow down, to treat the absorption of the Magic as a science lest it bring me down.

Tirek let loose one final bellow of pure rage before he succumbed to the magma that was engulfing him, and as he sank into the floor, the room filled with smoke from his burning flesh and the smell was pretty bad as well. I’d tasted the fat on the air that burning people tend to leave hanging around before during The War, and this time wasn’t much different, only instead of being on an open battlefield, I was in an enclosed room and it was sucking pretty fiercely. It also smelled like roasted Peperami if you thought about it a little too hard. I used some of Aetherial Magic to cause a little tornado that sucked all of the smoke into its confines and used True Theft to send it outside, which was a little difficult, but I still managed. I didn’t have to avoid the spot on the ground where Tirek died because Romulus was already walking toward me, looking pretty annoyed about the circumstance.

“Dude, thanks for the save and all, but I can handle a scrap.” He said irritably.

“If you weren’t getting hit, I wouldn’t be here. Sever the connection you have with Twilight and go put down the rest of your Generals, will you?” I asked just as irritably.

He scoffed. “Look, Stygian’s actually a good guy, he just got jilted by some people a long-ass time ago and spent a thousand or so years in hiding, waiting for someone worthy of following since whoever betrayed him was a pawn of Celestia’s. Dude’s not evil, just dark and shadowy.”

“Let me confirm that and we’ll see about it. What about Chryssy?”

“Oh, she’s evil, but she just wants love-slaves to feed off of. She has plenty of them and she’s already making plans for progressive means-”

“Oi.” I interrupted harshly.

“Yeah?” He asked.

“You realize ‘progressive’ slavery means involving children in the future, right?” I asked coldly.

Jeremy shrugged. “It’s not like she plans on treating them like shit. You gotta keep ‘em happy to keep 'em around for long, and she plans on keeping her slaves around for as long as possible.”

“So who fills the ranks of her slaves?”

“Mostly soldiers without families or loners in general. The stronger Changelings plant a spark of desperation to find love within a person and then they put someone of the opposite sex in front of them. The two bond over time and eventually start producing enough love for the Changelings to skim a little off the top. No one gets hurt, no one’s in chains.”

“Slavery is slavery, mate. If you were using prisoners, that’d be one thing, but you’re using you’re using people who-”

“Don’t have anyone who’s gonna miss ‘em anyway. Hell, it sounds kinda nice to me. Don’t have to worry about where your next meal’s coming from, you get to experience the full force of love, and you’ll be safe for the rest of your life. It’s not a bad tradeoff.” Jeremy said foolishly.

“Your freedom for a bite to eat and a roof over your head.” I snarled.

He raised a brow at me. “They could all be dead.”

“Most days I’d rather be dead than livestock.” I answered, talking to him like he was stupid.

“It’s a difference of opinions then-”

“I’ll wipe out the Changeling population if I have to. I don’t abide by slavery.”

Romulus raised a brow. “But you’re down for mind control?”

“Damn straight. As long as you don’t change who a person is at their core, you’re good, but stealing someone’s physical freedom is unforgivable.”

“We’re on opposite ends of the spectrum here. If you wanna go deny Chrysalis her prize, then you can go break the news to her. I say you let her do what she’s doing so she only has to kidnap people this one time, and from then on, she can have her love-slaves and they can find their happiness where they can get it.”

“Or, and hear me out on this one, you don't let one of the crimes that Humanity did its damnedest to get rid of fester in a new land just because it’s not your home.” I spread my hands.

“Hey, like I said, it’s your problem. You deal with it. I’m perfectly content to let Chrysalis do what she wants since she just wants to be left alone for the most part.”

I shook my head at him. “Point me in her direction and I’ll be off.”

He started his teleportation gestures. “I’ll just send you to her. If it becomes an argument, just know that you’ll probably die under a mountain of Changeling corpses.”

“Good thing I tend not to die too easily.” I said darkly.

Jeremy shrugged and a few moments later, I was standing in front of Chrysalis and she bumped into me since she’d been walking. She backed up a bit and glared at me. “Romulus, you know better than to teleport in front of me.”

“I’m not Romulus.” I said coldly.

She blinked. “Then you would have to be Maximus. Is there a reason you’ve teleported in front of me, Maximus?”

“I want you to free your current slaves and trade them for Equestria’s prison population.” I said frankly.

Chrysalis looked at me for a long, hard moment before she nodded. “Okay.”

“Thank you.” I said with considerably less murder going on than if she would have said no.

She nodded again. “I should have made the prisoners of Equestria my slaves in the first place. No one will miss them, not even their friends. They make much better subjects since they have nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

I tilted my head toward her. “And it doesn’t hurt that they’re already forsaken by Equestria.”

“Indeed. I suppose you have your own reasons for requesting this?” Chrysalis half-asked.

“I do. I don’t agree with slavery, but if you’re using murderers and rapists as your subjects, then it matters a little less. Besides, if it works for you, then it works for your people.”

“So you’d rather have me picking off the dregs of society rather than those with no one to care for them?” Chrysalis barked out a laugh. “You could argue that they’re one in the same.”

“You could, but I won’t. Feel free to nab a few Mexicoltian prisoners and a few Gryphonians while you’re at it. I don’t know what their prison populations look like, but I’m sure they could bear having you take your pick.”

She gave me an interested look and took a step closer to me. “I’ll be sure to do that. In the meantime, I was on my way somewhere. Unless you care to join me, then I have certain matters to attend to.”

I raised a brow. “Since when are you nice?”

She met my brow with one of her own. “I’ve heard tell that you decimated Stygian, Tirek, and Sombra. I saw you kill Sombra, and if the magical vortex of pure insanity going on within you right now is anything to go by, then you killed Tirek as well. You are far more valuable as an ally than an enemy.” Chrysalis blinked a few times, but I don’t think she even had eyelashes to bat at me. I didn't see any, at least.

“I felt the same way about you, once upon a time on a different planet, that is.” I said carefully.

Chrysalis gave me a sultry smile. “Then we’re agreed? Allies beyond Romulus’ bonds?”

I extended a hand. “Keep your word with the slave deal and we’ll consider it further.”

“I suppose that’s all I can ask from a man of your strength. It must be... Taxing, being as strong as you are.” She said, her voice dipping as she put her hoof forward for the shake like the good dog she was.

I gave her a look. “Are you trying to sleep with me?”

“Is it working?”

“No.”

“I can’t say that I’m surprised.” She pouted evilly since she's evil. “However, it would have been nice to have a little fun with a new race.”

“Yeah, no. I’m married.” I said flatly.

Chrysalis scoffed. “I assure you that I could bring you more pleasure than your wife-”

“We’re bonded by the Covenant. Looking at her brings me more joy than just about anything else.”

She smiled. “Perhaps you could bring me along to meet your wife some time.”

I distrusted that smile. “If you want a free meal, you’re going to have to look elsewhere.”

“So you know a bit about Changelings?”

“I know enough to get by.”

Chrysalis took another step toward me, her eyes only slightly lower than mine. “Did you know that our pheromones can heighten a climax beyond what should be possible? I would happily provide you with a vial to be used at your leisure, if you do me one small favour.”

“Why does your bribery revolve around sex?” I asked bluntly. “The version of Chrysalis I first met was like that too. Are you just promiscuous? Because I can totally understand that. It’s not even a deal, let alone a big deal, but it’s on my mind at the moment and it’s bugging me.”

Chryssy blinked at me again. “... I’m actually just a bit of a xenophile, to be honest with you. You seem to be a good enough looking Human, though I don’t really have a reference for your features, but I mostly just think you look even more vulnerable than a Pony. All that exposed flesh…” She licked her lips with a forked tongue.

“I can kill you by touching you.” I reminded gently.

“Which is why I would be blunting my fangs. It’s easy to tell when far enough is far enough when you’ve had as much time as I have to learn.” Chrysalis replied smugly.

“You know, I realize that I’m a slut, but I feel like that word was crafted from stone just for you.” I said drily.

She rolled her eyes and started walking past me. I had a choice here: either go with her and keep fucking with her while she hits on me, or I could go back to my room and snuggle with Twilight so I could tell her about the icky perverted bug lady. Of course I made a choice that should be fucking obvious by now. As I walked with the Bug Queen, she continued to hit on me through various means and I continued to deflect or rebuke her as we went along. I was actually just having fun coming up with new material to use against her. Things got a little too close to home when Chrysalis inquired about my sex life so I just said that I enjoyed what I had and left it at that. She tried to dig deeper to no avail, although you could either blame the time I tripped her or the honest adjective ‘nymphomaniac’ for that. She had a great aversion to the word for some odd reason, though she wouldn’t tell me why. I didn’t press her for it since it’d obviously soured her mood, but I was conflicted between being civil and pleasant towards Chrysalis because she was showing me the same level of respect, or straight killing her on the spot for taking what had to be thousands of innocent people from their homes so they could be used as livestock.

Maybe I’m just a sucker for depressed women?

I tried cheering Chrysalis up with a few jokes, but the last one earned me a look of such utter boredom that I gave up. No point in beating a horse that’s dead inside or something like that. It was awkward for a little while, but when we arrived at Chrysalis’ destination, I learned that it was her bedchamber. It was mostly black on the inside with ornaments of various shades of green strewn about the place, but I couldn’t exactly see much from the door.

“Aren’t you coming inside?” Chrysalis asked crisply.

I folded my arms. “I forget what time of day it is, but have a good what-ever-it-happens-to-be. Goodbye, Chryssy.”

She rolled her eyes. “Good evening, Maximus. I’ll forward the results of your suggestion once I start having my forces move out to claim the replacements.”

I nodded. “Try not to let anyone slip through the cracks. I know-”

“Changelings are nothing if not efficient, Maximus. It will be done, and it will be done correctly.” Chrysalis said, her tone challenging me to disagree.

I smirked at her. “Sure thing, Chryssy. If someone does fuck up, just tell me and there won’t be any trouble for you. Probably. Twenty-five to seventy-five. Not terrible odds, right?”

She gave me a look. “I will handle punishing my people. I know how to make them suffer more than you ever could.”

“That’s what you think.” I shook my head at her. “Let’s not have a torture-off and see who’s better at it, though. I think the world might be a little happier without it.”

“It would be a fun little game, but I doubt that many would attend. I would have to arrest those that did anyway for being mentally disturbed enough to watch one of their countrymen get tortured.”

“At least you understand that it’s fucked up.” I said blandly. “So what made you into a raging sadist?”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes dismissively. “Daddy liked my flank and Mommy liked to watch or something along those lines.”

“Right, so what got you off more? Your Dad fucking you or your Mum jilling off nearby?”

She smiled. “Good evening, Maximus.”

I gave her a nod and teleported back to Twilight so I could tell her about my little chat with Chrysalis and she found it to be a little queer. Somewhat unusual. A smidge weird. Or downright odd, considering I didn’t rip her apart for doing a bad. My wife applauded me for solving something nonviolently for once and I took offense to that until I remembered who I was and how I had been recently ironing out the dilemmas that had been popping up. I kinda tend to make things hurt one way or another when I deal with my problems, so I resolved to try and do things the peaceful way more often. It was going to be annoying, but I was already giving it a good go, I just needed to stop it with the casual evil shit I do from time to time.

Wifey and I spent a quiet night together while reading and doing precious little else until Romulus came back to our room and met us in the loft, looking mildly annoyed. “Dude. Chrysalis is bitching at me to help her capture prisoners from different countries now. The fuck did you tell her to do?”

I looked at him like he was spastic. “I told her to do the thing she wanted your help with, you daft twit.”

“The fuck is a twit?”

“The important question is are you going to help Chrysalis do the thing, or are you gonna be a shitbutt about it?” I asked.

“Sounds like your problem to me.” He said drily. “If you wanna back her up, then go right on ahead.”

I shrugged. “If she asks, I will. Other than that, I just hope she can get it done.”

“I’m pretty sure that Queen Elfriede wouldn’t deny one of Romulus’ Generals.” Twilight said doubtfully. "When I met her on Equus, she didn't need to be shown the hard way to know that I was willing to ask you to make it happen."

Romulus shrugged. “I don’t know about that, but she’s welcome to try. I mean, Chrysalis can take whatever she wants anyway, so I’d be surprised to find that she actually wants to trade her massive supply of slaves for a smaller supply of prisoners.”

“Can’t you just mass teleport her new guys in and the old guys out? Like, how many people can you teleport at once?” I asked.

“As many as I need to, but you’re going to have to make it worth my while if you want me to pitch in.” Romulus smirked.

“Freeing innocent people from a lifetime of slavery should be good enough for anyone.” I said sharply.

He raised a brow. “I’m not just anyone. I want you to do something for me.”

“What do you want?” Twilight asked hesitantly.

The Human that wasn’t me gave her a predatory grin. “I want a night with you.”

His tone rang false in my ears. “What do you really want?”

Romulus gave me a look. “How did you know I wasn’t being serious?”

“You were telling the truth when you said that you were only attracted to other Humans. That, and every time you look at Twilight, you look at her horn or frown slightly whenever she talks. It’s barely noticeable, but I get along by paying more attention than anyone.” I said easily.

Romulus gave me an ‘Are you a wizard?’ kinda look. “Dude, did you watch too much Lie to Me as a kid or what?”

I blinked at him. “I’m sure that’s a reference to an American show.”

“Oh yeah, you’re like, not American. Gay.”

“Only when I’m a woman, and trust me; I’m far happier not being one of you psychopaths. I prefer my fucked up teeth, authentic English, superior tea, and heavy drinking to your obesity, gun violence, narrow worldview, and general lack of common sense.”

Jeremy gave me a shitty look. “You’re a little n*gger, aren’t you.”

I tilted my head and said, “You realize I’ll fuck you up over that word, right? I don’t have to hit you to do it.”

He rolled his eyes, but still backed down. “Whatever, you butthurt little fuck. If you don’t mind, I need you to go and get Beige. I’d do it, but I can only teleport so many times a day, and it fucking kills my hands to do it too often.”

II pinched the bridge of my nose. “I keep forgetting that you don’t have the E-Z Magic™. I mean, what you got is good, but fucking shite is it limited.”

“Shut up and go get Beige.” He said bitterly, most likely because my powers were better than his. Salty bitch.

I gave him the two finger salute. “Covet, plebeian. Envy the magnificence of he who has earned the title ‘Maximus’.”

Jeremy glared at me and flipped me a birdie. “Go fuck yourself. Preferably now.”

“Unlike you, I have a loving wife who’s willing to help me with fucking myself.” I winked at him.

“You’re a dick.”

“MY COCK IS MUCH BIGGER THAN YOURS!” I sang/shouted.

Twilight gave me a familiar look, one that said ‘Why am I with you?’, but Jeremy’s eyes lit up. “MY COCK CAN WALK RIGHT THROUGH THE DOOR!”

“WITH A FEELING SO PURE!” Romulus and I chorused.

We nodded and regarded each other with a little more respect, but Twilight asked, “Why are you the way you are? I mean, Ponies don’t do this. I’ve never just had someone walk up to me and make a reference to a thing that I understood. It’s never just been blurted out like that. I mean, it’s just weird how you Humans do that.”

I traded a look with Jeremy. I said, “It’s weird how you Ponies will hug strangers, get destiny butt-tattoos when you find something you’re good at, and don’t know a damned thing about oral sex despite having perfect tongues for it.”

My wife lived up to her pet name and turned cherry red. “Th-The first two are perfectly normal, and using your mouth for that kind of stuff is just odd!”

“You do it for me though.” I said slowly.

She blushed harder and glanced at Jeremy. “Can we not talk about snack time in front of someone who isn’t involved?”

He shook his head. “Yeah, I’m just gonna go. Max, get Beige and Chatreuse and I’ll do the favour for you.”

I looked at him and pulled both of them to me. I brought Char first, then took two steps to the right and brought Beige in. “You might have more coverage, but I get more uses.”

“Shut up, dickbutt.” He grumbled. “Beige, I need you to take it easy for a little bit. Char, how rested are you?”

Beige nodded when he addressed her and Chartreuse shrugged. “I’d give it a five. It’s been an eighteen hour slog, but you know we’re used to getting less sleep.”

Romulus smirked. “You’re slipping if you’re only at a five after a measly eighteen hours. Take an hour for yourself, catch a power nap, and come to my quarters. I’ve been working out a new strategy for our game and I think it might trump you.”

She clicked her beak twice, which is a thing Gryphons often do in place of scoffing. “Come at me, Monkey-boy. I’ll just improvise, adapt, and overcome like I usually do whenever you come up with something new.”

I grinned. “Oi, I’ve helped plan multiple skirmishes, full on battles, and more than a few Covert, Black, and Spec Op missions. I’d like to try my hand at your thing, if you catch my drift.”

Beige looked at me. “If you are not a tactician by trade, you will lose to Chartreuse. It is inevitable.”

I smiled a bit wider. “I like those odds.”

Char giggled, which was weird because her naturally raspy voice made it come out kind of like a cackle. “Max, I’ve never lost at King's Call. I’ve been at this for a decade, dude, and let me tell you now that you’re just going to end up with your head in your hands fifteen minutes in.”

“I wouldn’t count Max out quite yet. He might not have your experience, but I’ve seen for myself that the guy is a wildcard. Back on our planet, the guy is the leader of an organization with connections to some high places that make serious moves.” Romulus gave me a nod.

“Apparently I’ve got more than just connections.” I grimaced. “Theresa May, the Prime Minister of England, has tabs on me and my brother. A lot of powerful people want me on their side, if what she tells me is the truth.”

Jeremy shook his head. “It's fucked up that your militiaslash charity is world wide, and it’s weird that you’re a big deal on like, what? Three planets?”

I pursed my lips. “I guess I’m just destined for glory or some shit. I’m gonna die a painful death, but it’s whatever.”

Twilight coughed. “If you could not say things like that, I’d greatly appreciate it, Amour.”

“Sorry, Cherry.”

“Beholden to your wife, are we?” Char teased.

“We keep each other close via metaphorical leashes. I’d put an actual one on Max since he likes to wander off, but I think he’d be a little upset if I didn't get him a nice enough collar.” Twilight gave me a shit-eating grin.

I gave her a look. “I’ll remember that the next time Mr. Wiggles visits the Cupcake Castle. I’m sure the Brownie Barn could do with a visit.”

Twilight blanched. “Uh…”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jeremy asked.

“Nothing!” Twilight nearly shouted. “It’s nothing, nothing at all. Don’t worry about a thing, nope, nothing to listen to or question, so why don’t you go back to your chambers and read a nice book while Char and Beige go to their rooms? It sounds nice, doesn’t it? You know, just relaxing and not talking about the thing, which is long gone by now! No one knows what we were talking about anymore, so why don’t we just go our separate ways, never talk about it again, and let’s all have a wonderful time!” My wife wrung her hands nervously, so I went to go sit by her and held one of them for her.

“... Okay. We’re leaving.” Romulus said slowly. “If you two wanna come back to sanity, let me know and I’ll get you a psych or something.”

“I don’t know what that is, but it’s not the sight of you leaving.” Twilight said pleasantly.

He just gave her an odd look. “... Right.”

Jeremy walked out and Char followed him, but Beige stayed behind. “I suppose I should thank you for saving me a long trip home, Maximus.”

I nodded to her. “Don’t worry about thanking me. I’m getting something out of it, so I can’t say that it was because of any altruistic intent.”

Beige returned my nod. “Thank you anyway. I am prone to motion sickness, and long train rides often see me lying down for most of them while my Lieutenants handle affairs.”

“In that case, you’re rather welcome. I’m assuming you’re not just sticking around to thank me for saving your lunch?”

“I would like to speak with Miss Twilight Sparkle privately for a moment, if it would be no trouble.” Beige requested.

I raised a brow at Twilight and she touched her cheek. We joined hands and grasped our pendants with our free hands. ‘I’m sure I’ll be okay, Amour. You said that she’s come close to being your friend, right?’

I frowned at her message. ‘I don’t like the idea of leaving you with someone you might not be able to defeat.’

Wifey gave me a quick peck. ‘I’m an Alicorn. The only reason I ever got caught in the first place was because Chrysalis managed to get ahold of Fluttershy before I could do anything and Romulus got through my shield with his own. I don’t think Beige is powerful enough to break one of my shields.’

I gave her a peck because she gave me one. “Alright. You know I’ll be back in a flash if I need to be.” I said out loud.

“Telepathy?” Beige asked flatly.

Twilight nodded. “It’s useful at times.”

Beige nodded in turn. “But it only works while you are touching. It is only useful to a certain extent.”

“I’m not going to ask why you think we need to be touching to use it, but I will ask about how long you can lick a lolly before biting it.” I switched topics.

The mercenary turned rebel tilted her head. “I do not like lollipops. I am a chocoholic by nature.”

“Chocolate is addictive. You’re a junkie, and I will not allow you to influence my innocent little Twiwight with your naughtiness.” I said scornfully.

Twilight jammed finger into my ribs. “I’ll be fine, so get to walking, Mister. If I need you, I’ll call for you.”

I licked her cheek and she made a face. “I’m going to go see if I can bug the bug.”

“What?” Twilight asked.

“I do not understand.” Beige said.

“I’m gonna go annoy Chrysalis until she threatens to kill me.” I clarified.

“Don’t enrage mares unnecessarily, Amour.” Twilight said disapprovingly.

“Chrysalis is well aware of the fact that you are more powerful than her. She will bear your words with little outward sign of annoyance.” Beige said drolly.

I shrugged. “Oh well. Talking to her when we’re not threatening each other with violence is pretty fun anyway.”

“... You’re weird, Max. I’m quirky and cute, but you’re weird.” Twilight said, shaking her head.

I rolled my eyes. “Says the woman who reorganized her library in the most nonsensical way multiple times, each time less orderly than the last.”

Twilight took personal offense to that. “My system was just fine, thank you very much!”

“It was neither sorted by relevance, alphabetical order, author, or even time period. I never could find the same book twice in the Golden Oaks Library if I was actually looking for it.”

She gave me a stern look. “Go! March!”

“Are you being serious, or did that just come out a little harsher than you intended?” I asked evenly.

“It came out bad, but I am a little hurt by that, Max. My way of doing things was perfectly fine, and I stand by it. Them. You know what I mean.” She sighed.

I nodded. “Sorry for hurting your feelings. I just can’t quite see things from your perspective sometimes, and this is a good example. We’ll agree to disagree and I’m gonna go get ice cream.”

She pouted. “... I want ice cream too. Pistachio.”

Beige hummed for a moment, so I waited for her to say, “If you would not mind, I would request that you bring back two scoops of coffee ice cream for myself.”

I sighed. “Be nice? Be a dick. Be nice? Be an arse. Be gone? Bye bye!” I flipped them off and pulled myself to Sugarcube Corner. Unsurprisingly they weren’t actually open since they were still technically being occupied by a Rebel Army, but their ice cream was still in the usual place. I didn’t steal anything since I left them a pair of hundred bit coins for like, twelve scoops of ice cream and three large scoops of sherbet. In fairness, the four scoops of Triple-Fudge-Double-Chocolate-Brownie-Blitz were for Celestia and the three scoops of Blue Moonberry sherbet were for Luna. In the end, I was still eating a large amount of what revenge must be made of. Just because I want to see if I can remember the taste whenever I go over these parts again, I got a scoop of almond, pistachio, Praline n’ Pecan, Black Walnut Woods, and black cherry. I know one of those is not a nut, but it still grows from a tree, so fuck you.

I dropped off everyone’s frozen desserts and strolled around an empty Ponyville with a waffle-bowl of deliciousness slowly melting in my hand. Well, and I grin as I write this, the process was slowed because the weird thing on my arm is air conditioned or some shit. I vaguely remembered Festus telling me about the temperature control feature, so I dialed it down nice and low while keeping the area above my elbows nice and warm so I wouldn’t get frostbite or some shit. I’m pretty sure that’s why my ice cream lasted until I got to QT’s house. That, or I was just hungry and the sweet tooth was acting up. Either way.

When I knocked on her door, I waited for a little bit and got the vague feeling that I was being scryed before the door opened slowly. QT looked up at me and Spike peered at me from behind her. “... Max?”

I gave her a tight smile. “Wotcher, QT, Spike. Are you okay?”

QT sent Spike back into the Treebrary and cast a bubble around us . “Max, is everything going to be okay? Do you know what’s going to happen to Equestria?” She asked.

I took a deep breath and puffed, getting a bite of my ice cream afterwards. “... Another Princess of Equestria is going to take the throne and Celestia along with Luna are slated to be her advisers. I managed to gain some leverage on the guy who just swept three major countries and brokered a pretty fucking decent deal, all things considered. I’m just working out a few more kinks as we speak.” I answered, trying to make it sound like I had everything under control.

Ponies are dumb. “That’s great! Even if Celestia and Luna aren’t in power, there isn’t a Pony alive who would just ignore their wisdom! Who’s the next Princess supposed to be?” QT asked excitedly.

I gave her a cheery smile. “You were very fond of her when you were young. In fact, my Twilight said that she looked up to her almost as much as she looked up to Celestia and Twilight Velvet.”

QT tilted her head. “There’s only one pony I can think of, but Cadance hasn’t been around for years, and there’s no way she’s a Princess. I mean, she was a foalsitter the last time I saw her!”

I smiled at her. “Believe it or not, your foalsitter became a Princess and is going to rule Equestria. Her love and sense of justice are why I suggested that she be the person in charge.”

The purple mini-horse pushed off of the ground and onto her hind legs so she could give me a hug. Four legged Ponies are fucking heavy, but I found the power within me to hold QT’s fat arse up long enough for her to get the squealing out of her system. “I can’t believe it! I get to witness a new era in Equestria’s history and the catalyst is going to be a mare who’s like my big sister! Besides the hostile takeover, I think this is going to end pretty well!”

I gave her the bleakest look I could. “I should have made you stop talking, but I didn’t and now-” A note popped into existence in front of me and I glowered at QT with such an intensity that she almost started crying on the spot. I took some time to chill before I opened the letter and read it.

Dear Maximus,

As you may well know, I’ve done a little digging about your plan for Equestria, and my findings are quite interesting. It would seem that a certain part of your plan has a bit of a flaw, but it is of little importance… Or rather, it’s a matter we need to discuss. I have, let us say, a person of interest and it might be in your best interest to join me for tea sooner rather than later. This is not a threat, my friend, but an invitation to a simple chat. I hope to see you soon.

“Twilight Sparkle, I’m going to get a paddle and you’re going to send Spike to Applejack’s for a couple of days so your flank can go back to being purple instead of bright red before he puts two and two together.” I said seriously. Super cereal, actually.

QT turned quite pale. “Please no.” She pleaded in the smallest of voices.

I stuck my tongue out at her. “You’d like it if you tried it.”

“... What?” She asked, going back to being purple shortly enough. It’s always weird when ponies blanche and go back to being their normal colors. Fucking odd is what it is.

“Don’t worry about it, but do know that I’m super pissed at you right now for jinxing me. Now I have to go barter for Cadance’s freedom because you just had to go and be overly optimistic. QT, when things are going well, you say, ‘Things are okay, let’s hope they stay that way’. You neigh-ver say that things are better than ‘good’ because that brings out whatever bad karma you might have stored up and slaps you in the tender spots more often than not. Whatever you do from now on, don’t voice your optimism when things are going well. Smile and be happy about it, but don’t gush over it. At least not with me.”

QT stared at me. “... You’re really depressing and cynical, Max. Are you okay?”

I rolled my eyes and teleported to Chrysalis. She was sitting in her personal chambers across from Cadance when I got in, so I was pretty happy about that. “Wotcher.”

Chrysalis smiled at me. “Maximus! Have a seat and some tea, I believe we have some things to talk about.”

I sat next to Chrysalis because I figured it would earn me a brownie point or two. “I believe we do. That smells like the real Cadance, so I’m going to guess that she’s either the real deal, or you’re very good at faking it.”

“Celestia and Luna told me about you. They said you were strong and that you were loyal to Equestria.” Cadance said softly.

I gave her a gentle smile. “Gotta admit that I like the place more often than not. The food’s good when I can eat it without dying, it’s usually pretty peaceful, and that’s about it. Sadly, Equestria’s racist as fuck, sexist as fuck, and docile as fuck. I suggested that you take over because I think you can change all of that.”

She just stared at me, so Chrysalis took over. “You’re lucky that I kept her for myself. An Alicorn specializing in Love Magic is very tempting to my people.”

I gave Chrysalis a sideways look. “Like you’d let just anyone have a taste of someone so precious as an Alicorn. I’m just glad that you were the one who got her, especially since Sombra and Tirek were both confirmed rapists.”

Chrysalis made a face. “I enjoy a little struggle with my snuggle, but outright rape is punishable by death in the Changeling strongholds. I did not choose to work with those detestable excuses for living beings at any point in nearly two and a half thousand years of plotting for Changeling superiority because they're awful. Were awful..”

I raised a brow. “I know you respected both of them for their power, but I don’t think you’re just giving me lip service here. Either way, why don’t we get down to brass tacks and start negotiations?”

The Bug Queen flashed me her fangs with what was supposed to be a charming smile. “Oh? You don’t want to just sit and socialize with a friend for a moment?”

I raised a brow at the nonsense. “If you take care of the socializing before you do the business, then someone’s always going to end up desiring the end of the conversation so that the important matters can be discussed.”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “Yes, but business often muddies the waters between friends, and I’d like to keep them clear for the time being.”

I glanced at Cadance. “How are you doing, Cadance? You don’t look to be worse for wear and your heart sounds healthy.”

She gave me a stunned looked before shaking her head to clear it. “Um, I’ve been taken care of. Most of the slaves are.”

“It’s in our best interest to keep our prisoners comfortable. Even if they are not happy at first, at least they can relax.” Chrysalis said.

“I’d hoped that conditions were good for those under confinement. It’s nice to confirm that.” I replied.

The Bug Queen nudged me with her hoof. “Surely you don’t think of me as you would Sombra or Tirek? I’ll admit to having some less than pleasant tendencies, but I take care of those under my wing.” She said smugly.

“I can’t really argue against that, but you still ate my Magic.” Cadance said bitterly.

“Darling, I eat your love to survive. It’s nothing personal.” Chrysalis said factually.

“I’m not really taking sides here, but try to see it from her side, Cadance. You’re most likely going to be working with Chrysalis in the future, so you’re going to need to get used to her subversive ways and learn when she’s being genuine.”

Chrysalis kicked me. “You’re an ass.”

“You’re a really big bug.” I pointed out.

She gave me a flat look. “I’ll bite you.”

“I’ll fist you.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I’m going to learn if you have conventional genitals, and if not, I’m going to punch you in the cloaca.”

Chrysalis blinked in surprise. “Does that mean you intend on shoving your paw inside of me? If so, you’re definitely threatening me with a pleasant time.”

“Oh my gosh! What is wrong with you two!?” Cadance asked, fanning herself with a hoof, her face quite flushed.

I gave her a look. “We’re normal, you’re the weird one. You ponies are too sheltered for your own good.”

“That’s rather accurate. I’ve never had a Pony who knew how to use their tongue.” Chrysalis chimed in.

“What else do you even use your tongue for?” Cadance asked, bewildered. “Actually, don’t answer that. Can we start negotiations now?”

“Not yet. I have to bite Maximus so I can receive my reward.” Chrysalis chided.

“You’re assuming that I’m going to use the main entrance.” I said menacingly.

“I was rather hoping you weren’t.” She replied huskily.

“Alright, we’re playing chicken and I’m backing down. You win.”

Chrysalis sighed. “You get my hopes up and shoot them down so casually. And here I was hoping that you would treat me at your own personal puppet.”

I didn’t want to say anything to that, so I grabbed my smoking kit from the mountain base and started getting high. After that, I said, “Alright. I’m good now. Chrysalis, what do you want for Cadance?”

“I want you to lay with me.” Chrysalis smirked.

“No, seriously, what do you want?”

“I want a piece of an effectively extinct creature with more power than anything else on the planet.” She flicked her tail onto her flank and I was tempted to see if I could develop tunnel vision, focusing on her eyes instead of her invitation.

“It’s a rule of mine to not sleep with quadrupeds.” I stated.

“I’m a Changeling, you simpleton.” Chrysalis admonished. “I can be whatever you want me to be.”

“Can you adopt a form that stands on two legs, but still looks like you?” I asked, kind of hoping she’d say yes.

She raised a brow at me. “It would take a couple of tries, but I’m sure I could work something out.”

I looked at Cadance. “I’m going to dry it off with your mane when we’re done. Is that cool with you?”

She looked at me like I was crazy. “What are you talking about?”

“His phallus.” Chrysalis said for me.

“... Please don’t.” Cadance requested meekly.

“I’ll let you taste it if you want.” I gave her a winsome smile.

She stared at me, her face bright red. “I-I-I have a coltfriend-”

“Shining Armor, right? Don't worry, I’ll let him taste me when I’m done with you.”

Cadance’s jaw hung slightly as she looked at me, completely mortified. “... Are you going to ravish me?”

“No, I’m not. I’m fucking with you, Cadance.” God, toying with you is fun, no matter the planet.

“Oh… Thank you for not doing that in advance.”

Chrysalis tittered. “Just because he’s not going to do it doesn't mean that I don’t feel the desire.”

Cadance paled and I tried to keep a straight face as Chrysalis stalked over to her. “My sweet little lover, are you aware of the pleasure I could bring you? The rapturous climaxes I could give you in mere minutes while your little coltfriend can’t even do it, period? A little tryst between us and a friend; no one has to know.”

I could Cadance’s heart hammering. “I-I-I-I-”

Chrysalis kissed her and I tried not to die in my seat. She kept it nice and short before walking away, leaving Cadance with a view of the goods as she swished her tail back and for on the way over. “It gets better every time, Maximus. Teasing and toying are two of my favourite things.”

“I’m pretty fond of it myself. Getting to people through sexual humor is easy and fun.” I replied jovially.

Cadance was still bright red when she said “You two are evil! Playing with a mare’s heart like that is just nefarious!”

Chrysalis and I both chuckled. “Relax, Cadance. Neither of us mean you any harm, so be happy that you’ll be free soon enough. That, and you’ll be ruling Equestria as you see fit once we have a meeting with Elfriede and Rey, so you have that to look forward to.”

“That scares the bejeebers out of me!” Cadance wailed.

“You’ve been trained to be a Princess and you won’t be doing it alone. If you’re having trouble getting things organized, I know a gal who can help you get everything down into manageable little bits.” I offered.

“I will offer advice from time to time to maintain my end of our relationship. I only ask that you offer something in return.” Chrysalis said.

Cadance looked at me nervously, so I spoke up for her. “Why don’t you two try being friends? People in your positions don’t often get the opportunity to make friends that last, and since both of you are nearly immortal, it makes sense for you to want to stay on good terms with each other. A little magical oath to never betray each other and both of you gain powerful allies.”

Chrysalis stared at me. “... You want me to befriend a fledgling ruler for… What exactly?”

“Equestria is still mighty, and it will be even more so with you backing it. Elfriede and Rey are going to push to take over Equestria, and with Unicorn Magic on top of Changeling spies, it’s a winnable war. I’ll put you two in contact with a tactician that can help you get things done.”

Cadance asked, “Why are you so invested in this? Aren’t you from a different world?”

I shrugged. “I guess I just like to shake things up everywhere I go. It’s odd, isn’t it?”

“... A little.” Cadance said, obviously meaning that it was straight up ridiculous.

“Right. So do you want to watch me give Chrysalis the Good D, or are you gonna be all shy and come talk to my wife with me for a little bit?” I asked, giving her a realistic option that I hoped Chrysalis wouldn’t object to.

“... Can I come with you to-”

“You can cum with me anytime.” Chrysalis and I teased simultaneously.

Cadance put a hoof to her face and clomped herself a few good times. “Why. What did I do to deserve this? What choices did I make in m life that could have taken me out of this room?”

Chrysalis giggled. “Oh, stop being melodramatic. You’re getting a country out of the deal, after all.”

The taffy toned one started muttering incomprehensible things to herself, so I sighed and got us moving so I could hurry up and get the bullshit out of the way. Twilight was happy to babysit our Princess-in-Waiting, but she was less happy that I had to bang Chrysalis to get her to hand over Cadance peacefully. I wasn’t exactly thrilled myself, but I had kinda just slipped into the usual state of not giving a fuck about what goes on around me for a little bit. Once Twilight made sure that I was actually okay with it, she gave me her blessing and I went off to go give Chrysalis some dick.

It wasn’t bad. I can’t really say that I was into Chrysalis’ style, but she liked it rougher than most and I was happy enough for a reason to abuse her. When we were done, she said I needed to work on my enthusiasm, but other than that, it had been a fantastic experience that she hoped to have again soon. I figured that three hours would sate her well enough, but she wanted me too much for me to risk it a second time. However, with my nut busted and the rest of me badly in need of a shower, I went back to my room and got bathed before rejoining Twilight and Cadance.

Cadance wouldn’t stop blushing whenever she found the courage to look at me, so she mostly addressed Twilight instead of the guy who’d just put his dick on the line to save her gay-version-of-red arse. I wasn’t exactly stressing over it or anything, but I thought it was a little rude to not talk to me at all. My wife picked up on my mild irritation and kept me in their conversation through some subtle maneuvering, but the taffy-toned mare was still feeling pretty anxious about me for some odd reason, so I decided to go and visit Celestia and Luna to see if I would have any luck with them.

When I teleported in, Luna looked at me and shook her head. “Thou art not welcome here, Maximus.”

“I’m here anyway, and I’m here with good news. Cadance has been secured and she’s safe. I don’t think she feels prepared for the role she’s going to have to fill, but that’s where you to come in along with a few others.”

Celestia glared at me. “So we will not be the only influences on Cadance’s decision making?”

“It wouldn’t make any sense if you were. There are going to be two others that will help guide Cadance and you’re not allowed to kill them or coerce them to do whatever you say. However, if you wanna pull the ‘Thousands of years of experience’ card, no one’s going to stop you.” I said soothingly.

Celestia’s glare didn’t lessen by much. “You’re still a traitor to Equestria, Maximus. Even when this is all said and done, you-”

“Look, you wanna broker for a better deal? Go right on ahead. The only reason you’re in the position you’re in right now instead of being dead is because you’ve got people fighting for you. Please, I’m not asking you to like the fact that we’re stuck right now, but I am asking you to drop the hostility. I swore I would never double cross you and I still haven’t.” I reasoned.

Sunbuns lost a little heat. “... It’s beyond cruel to think that we will no longer be the reigning Princesses after all these years. After all this time devoted to building Equestria so it would never fall…” She shook her head and sighed. “I suppose it was inevitable. No empire lasts forever, not even one with the best intentions.”

I shrugged. “You never know what the future holds, Celestia. Equestria could truly become a utopia for all races instead of just ponies some day.”

She sighed. “I tried that, Max, but if you think there’s a future behind Cadance, then what’s the point in arguing against you only to remain prisoners?”

“I have said for some time that our place was no longer on the throne, sister.” Luna murmured.

Celestia sighed again. “I know. I just didn’t think it would be like this.”

“It’ll be okay, Sunbuns. Give everything a little time to settle down and you’ll get a real picture of how the future’s going to turn out. If you didn’t already know, then you’ll be happy to learn that Sombra and Tirek are both dead, so two of the biggest threats to Equestria are gone.” I gave her a tight smile.

She gave me a look. “Did they kill each other?”

“No. Sombra wanted to duel me and Tirek wanted a piece of Romulus, so I had to pitch in before Romulus got himself hurt, thus getting Twilight hurt. I pretty much killed both of them myself.”

“... And Romulus has done nothing in retaliation?”

I looked at Celestia like she was speaking Swahili. “Why would he come after me? Sombra had to approve the duel through him, and he was going to kill Tirek himself for coming after him. Both of those fools punched their own tickets via the Maximus Express to Hell.”

Celestia traded a look with Luna. “... Perhaps the future is not so dark, sister?” The bluest mare said softly.

“Tirek and Sombra were the biggest threats, to be honest. Chrysalis can most likely be reasoned with-” Celestia started.

“Way ahead of you. I’ve already got her freeing civilians and taking prisoners from Equestrian, Gryphonian, and Mexicoltian prisons in their stead. Chrysalis is getting what she wants and we’re solidifying her as an ally. It’s not like you two won’t be able to take her out if she becomes a problem anyway.” I said casually.

“... So you really have been trying to set this up so that everyone walks away with something on their plate?” Celestia asked, mystified.

I shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a fixer.”

“Odd.”

"Quite.” Luna agreed.

I flipped both of them the two finger salute. “Fuck off. My genius is legendary.”

“It’s certainly noteworthy,” Celestia acquiesced, “but it would seem that you happen to be more lucky than skilled.”

“Luck’s a skill in some of the games I play, so I think my IRL luck stat is actually sky high, it just happens to bottom out every once in awhile.” I sniffed. “If there’s nothing else, I’d like to give you Magic talking horses some hugs.”

“Did you just call us whorses?” Celestia asked.

“Spelled with an ‘H’, not a ‘W’.” I rolled my eyes. “How many times have we been over this?”

“Not enough apparently. Leave without your hugs.” Celestia demanded.

I gave her a look. “Now you’re just being petty.”

“No, we’re still upset with you over taking our country. You won’t get another hug from us until we’re sure that Equestria isn’t going to fall because of your decisions.” Celestia said firmly.

I walked over and rubbed her ears, which almost got me whacked with her horn. “Oi! I was just trying to make you feel better. Luna, can I rub your ears?”

Luna stared at my hand. “We have considered it and we have came to the conclusion that is is best if thou taketh thine leave.”

I booped her because I could. “You’ll be back to loving me one of these days. Don’t say anything to that, just let me hope.”

I let myself out of the prison cell and went back to Twilight and Cadance to burn some time until things were supposed to happen. Long story short, nothing was supposed to happen, so I got enough time to get this written out. I guess I’ll play checkers against Twilight or something, though it’s been awhile since I’ve actually played. It’s a shame that I don’t have a set or something, but we’ll make do with what we can find.

Two weeks have passed since a damn thing worth talking about has happened, though the past couple of days were the exciting ones. Starting with the morning of Cadance’s State of Union Address, the poor mare was losing her mind over her speech and her overall capabilities. Celestia and Luna had been freed in an attempt to get her calmed down, but between Twilight and the former Royal Sisters, there was no consoling Cadance, so I stepped in.

While Cadance was in the middle of another panic attack, Twilight and Celestia were coddling her, trying to coax her out of her misery when I walked up and followed President-Doctor-Astronaut Donald Trump’s advice and grabbed her by the lady parts via True Theft. Cadance jolted hard when I shocked her, but it’s not like I gave her much more than a teensy little jolt to get her mind off of the mountainous endeavors ahead of her.

“H-Hey! Th-That was inappropriate!” Cadance cried, jumping to her hooves.

“Cadance, take a deep breath before I shock you again.” I commanded.

Her face was flushed completely, but she complied with my demands and mellow out a little bit. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“But I’ll do it again if you start to withdraw, so keep your head on your shoulders. You’ve got this, love.” I gave her an encouraging smile.

Celestia put a hoof on her shoulder. “You’re not alone in this, my favourite niece. Luna and I are supposed to be two of your closest advisors, so our years of wisdom will help you in the coming tides.”

Cadance gave her a meek smile. “Thank you, Auntie, but…”

“But what, dear?”

“... But what if I buckle under the pressure? I-I don’t know if I can rule over Equestria!” Cadance said, utterly distraught. She wasn’t about to go back to the floor, so I didn’t shock her.

“Broad shoulders share your burden. Thou believest thou art alone, despite being told and shown that thou art not. Have faith in thine cabinet, Cadenza.” Luna soothed. “We will help thou along the way.”

Cadance gave her a long look before nodding. She looked to me and asked, “You said you chose me because you believe in my morals, but why me alone? Couldn’t you have arranged for me to have a partner of some kind?”

“You’ll get one in time.” Celestia and I said in unison, having gone over that particular plan a few dozen times.

“... Okay. So… How long do we have until the speech?” Cadance asked.

I checked my pocket watch, having learned how to calculate the time difference between worlds in a flash after awhile. “Two hours.”

Twilight smiled. “That’s plenty of time to help you get prepared for your address! Just because you’re being placed in power by rebels doesn't mean you can’t look the part, right?”

Everyone gave her a weird look besides me. “... You have a strange optimism, Twilight.” Celestia commented.

“It helps me get through the tough times. It was pretty helpful during The War.” My wife replied pleasantly.

“It’s also nice when you’re just having a bad day. She comes in the room with a smile and your heart just melts.” I said, grinning like a fool myself.

Cadance beamed. “It’s nice to see that your love stays strong, no matter where you two are. It makes me miss my fiance…” She stopped beaming and looked off forlornly.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Shining was still missing in action, presumed dead. “We’ll find him, Cadance. It might take some digging, but we’ll find him.”

She gave me a wan smile. “Thank you, Max. You know, I would think that you would be one of my advisors.”

“I’m not slated to be here forever, love. It’s not a good idea to get too dependant on someone who’s not always going to be around.” I said, giving her a sad smile.

She returned it with one of her own. “Even if you did just do something I want to forget about, you’re still a valued friend to me, Max. You defiled your body to set me free, and I know that-”

“Yeah, let’s not talk about that and move onto the hug.” I spread my arms and Cadance rolled her eyes, but she still came in for the hug regardless.

“Thank you, Max. I might not want to be the ruling Princess, but at least you’re letting me handle my nation as I see fit.”

I gave her a little smile. “Be wary of handing out second chances. They might come back to bite you.”

I received an odd look. “Well okay. That’s grim, but I see where you’re coming from.”

“It’s not grim, it’s just life.” Twilight sighed. “Even I had to learn how to be tough because some people just aren’t that good at heart. It’s a hard truth, but it’s one that’s going to come for you.”

“Freaking me out about being a Princess again.” Cadance warned.

“Sorry.” Twilight and I said.

We chatted a little more until the actual events of the coronation thing where Cadance got her crown presented to her by Elfriede, Corona Rey, and Romulus, all of them giving her their blessing to Rule over Equestria. Cadance gave her speech flawlessly, so I didn’t know why the fuck she’d been nervous about it, but when the crowd of Ponies that had gathered started cheering for their Alicorn Princess, things seemed like they would be okay to the common person. I know that because I asked around while the celebration of the de-occupation was going on, and it was everyone’s general consensus that having Celestia and Luna on retainer was as good as it got considering that their new Princess was trained by them anyway.

No one really gave a damn about Beige being one of Cadance’s advisors because no one acknowledged her presence, which was exactly why she was dangerous. Chrysalis taking the final chair was unexpected by just about anyone who wasn’t Romulus, Cadance, or myself, but she swore her oaths of fealty just like Celestia, Luna, and Beige did, so there was little to worry about on that front. Instead, the main problem was that Chrysalis was still getting prisoners back to their homes, but Shining Armour still hadn’t been found, and there was no telling if he’d even been taken prisoner in the first place. Dude was probably dead since no one could scry him, so that sucked. It sucked bad enough that I wasn’t going to be the one to tell Cadance that Shining was gone.

Twilight and I returned to the mountain fort after Canterlot was secured for Cadance’s inhabitance a day after the coronation, and Romulus was already pacing a hole in the ground when we got there. He’d literally turn the floor into mush and was pacing a hole into it because he was so stressed out, but when I got to him, he chilled out almost immediately. We gave each other the nod and we went back to a little village in Gryphonia called Nelson to join his going away party. Beige and Char were already there, along with Cid and Cadrut, but there were many more faces I didn’t recognize making merry around the bonfire. Twilight had opted to come along with me since I was supposed to have my brawl with Romulus there because he’d have Healing Magic available, but it wouldn’t do him much good if I got too serious.

I let Jeremy get a few drinks in him before I called him out and demanded that he give me my fight. He was confident and it showed in the way he walked as he circled me, but he wasn’t arrogant. We measured each other and I slipped into my Crashing Waves stance. Jeremy gave me a bored look and took up a typical boxing stance, and that was when I knew for certain that I was about to wreck his shit. I closed the distance between us in the blink of an eye and Romulus tried to turtle up, but the knees I sent into his stomach were enough to get him to drop his guard to protect his body. The brutal hook I sent into his jaw proved that to be a bad move.

Romulus was really just outclassed, and even as I tried to avoid using my left hand to land any real blows, I just had him stuck. I decided to end things with flowing strikes until Jeremy just couldn’t hold up a guard anymore, but that took a good ten minutes of just pounding away at his guard for him to finally submit. The guy didn’t have much quit in him, but he knew when he could save his arse and when he couldn’t. At that point in my time of knowing Jeremy, I didn’t beat him further just because I didn’t have a point to prove anymore. We both knew that I could have ended the fight in one punch. We both knew that I could have killed him the second he lifted his spells from Twilight. We both knew that I was the stronger Chosen One in general, it was just that I wanted him to bow down to me, and that’s what happened at the end of the fight. In retrospect, I hate that I even bothered to fight Jeremy in the first place because I could have just let it go, but I had to prove my dominance.

If anything, it just goes to show that I’m becoming more and more egotistical and power-mad by the day. I need Twilight to keep me in check, but I think there’s a touch of madness in her mind that’s telling her that shit’s just fine as it is. With the voices telling her things she won’t repeat to me, it’s quite possible that we might be the target of something and that we could be playing right into their hands, but there’s no telling right now, and there’s no point in stressing over it since that’s not going to do anything. I hate to feel stuck all over again, but after fighting Jeremy, I did a lot of thinking and it lead me to believe that there’s a force weaker than God but stronger than Discord lurking in the shadows, playing games with my mind.

Good God, am I fucking paranoid.

Anyway, I’m moving things along at such a fast pace because things wound down really fucking fast. I mean, I sent Jeremy back to America to live with his parents, and Nyx solidified her place as one of Cadance’s Generals. Chrysalis is acting right for the time being, Stygian is happy enough to research and astronomerizeify for awhile, and things don’t seem… Volatile, let’s go with that. Elfriede is afraid of Equestria’s might since Romulus’ coalition of rebels basically folded into the Equestrian Guard to keep their pockets full, and Mexicolt is still reeling from the purging of La Canalla that happened while they were being occupied. Shit’s been settling down and the dust is clearing, but back in Ponyville? Besides the constant whispers about trouble on the horizon, little changed. People are still out and about, but now there seems to be a slight edge to the feelings surrounding the little town. The Elements are ready in case something happens, but so far, no one has capitalized on Equestria’s temporary state of discombobulation.

Twilight and I have been helping Cadance fill the ranks of her cabinet with trustworthy people, and her advisors have been helping her get the questionable laws and practices sorted out. It’s an ongoing struggle, but shit seems like it gets sorted as it needs to, so who am I to judge their system? Twilight and QT have been having a heyday trying to get Equestria organized all over again, and with regular help from Celestia, it seems like they’ve been getting things under control as far as Canterlot goes, but they have a lot more work to do as far as the rest of the country. I’ve personally been taking care of certain targets that have been deemed dangerous to the cause, which is why there haven’t been any real disturbances as far as foreign relations go. We’ve got people afraid of us for the time being, though Cadance hates the dirty tactics with a passion.

The Equisian versions of the girls have been doing fine under Cadance’s rule. QT quickly became one of her stewards and makes a habit of being the moral voice in a room full of amoral people, though her choices sometimes end in disaster, which is why she’s ignored more often than she’s listened to. There are worse fates, however, like the one that Blueblood faced when he tried to seize control from Cadance just a single day after she’d been coronated. The fool had challenged her to dueling rites and Beige had stepped in as Cadance’s champion. Ponies usually duel with their hooves, so imagine the surprise everyone felt when the seasoned mercenary obliterated the pretty-boy’s face and arrested him for treason. There wasn’t a lot of surprise, to be honest, other than the level of wrecked Blueblood's face got. He was eventually healed, but he's still not right in the head.

For now, that’s it. Just a quick little update on the happenings between my last entry and now. I would have gone into more detail about all of that, but it would have taken forever and none of it was terribly interesting. I got yelled at for making jokes a few too many times so NYEH!

It’s been a couple months since I’ve touched this journal. I’ve read through it with Twilight when Cadance was still new to her position, but that was a year ago now. Every time I go to write something, nothing ever seems important enough to make it into the pages. I mean, Equestria’s at peace and flourishing with races from around the world, Gryphonia and Mexicolt are thriving, and the world’s trade has improved significantly. Cadance’s ‘Open Doors and Open Hooves’ policy really kickstarted Equestria all over again by welcoming merchants from all countries instead of just certain ones from Pony-friendly nations. Her involvement in the Atlantis Triangle Trade means that port-cities are now thriving places full of diversity and that places like Manehattan and Trotson are booming with growth.

Economically and socially, Equestria has evolved and continues to evolve around us, but Twilight and I have long since wondered if we were ever going home. We haven’t heard a thing from God in a long time, and since we’ve been trying to keep things running since we don’t do much else, there’s not really anything we can do to get his attention. We are officially homesick beyond reason and I know that I want to see my family again, which I know Twilight wants as well, just with her family instead of mine. Two plus two equals four and all that. I guess the reason I’m writing now is because I’ve gone over my writing before and it’s just… I miss my friends and family now more than ever. Twilight’s having a hard time with it and I am too, but there’s just nothing we can do barring disobeying God’s orders. I guess we’ll just have to sit and wait.

It’s been two years now since Twilight and I touched down on Equis. The homesickness has faded, but I know we both still want to go back to Equus with a burning passion. God stopped by to tell us last Hearth’s Warming day that we would return to our home soon, but that was a couple months ago now. How soon is soon to the eternal? I mean, we’ve done whatever it was that we came to do, I’m sure, and things have been quiet on Equis for some time now. The Central Equestrian Alliance Consisting of Gryphonia, Equestria, and Mexicolt has been going strong and looks like it’s going to be one of the strongest trade-powers on the face of the planet if the trend continues. If making the planet prosper wasn’t the goal, then I don’t know what was.

Twilight’s taken up painting to pass the time since Cadance doesn’t need her help all the time anymore, and I’ve got to say that she’s gotten fucking amazing at it. She once did a cityscape of Ponyville from memory after flying over it a few times one day, and it was just magnificent. That painting is still in our living room, and the portrait she did of us hangs on a nearby wall, next to a bookshelf that I’ve been filling by toiling away with thoughts of home and adventures that I’d had. I neutered the fuck out of the battles, but I essentially wrote a series of books about my life on Equus, although I still haven’t released the last few yet. I made up an ending where I just rule with Twilight happily ever after because I hope it’s what happens, but the chances seem slimmer by the day. On the bright side, it’s been a long time since we’ve had a proper row. We’re in this together, and that’s the best boon I could ask for.

It’s only been a few weeks since the last entry this time. I’m doing...

So the reason I’m writing this entry out is because earlier I left the house to go prepare for Twilight’s birthday party for like, most of the day, and I returned to our house at sundown. When I walked in, my wife had painted every wall in the house with a different memory, and I assumed they were her favourites. It was as if the pictures had been imprinted on the walls, but you could see the brushstrokes upon closer inspection. In the span of about twelve to fourteen hours, Twilight managed to get the majority of our house coated in happy thoughts, just to keep us afloat during the tough times. I found her painting and crying in our bedroom, so I assumed that she’d been doing both for quite some time.

“Twilight…” I said softly from the doorway.

She finished her stroke and looked at me. “Max…”

“I want to go home too.”

“I want to go home now. What has to happen for us to be done?” She moaned.

“... I don’t know, Twilight. I don’t know, but you know I’m here for you, right here, right now. Put the brush down and bring it in, Cherry. Let me share the burden.” I requested coming closer with my arms spread.

“... Nullum.” She murmured softly.

“... When did you learn Alicin?” I asked cautiously, taking a few more steps toward her.

“Nos ergo inpuncto infimo.” Twilight breathed.

I understood ‘lowest point’ out of that and I sent out a quick prayer to the six hundred and sixty-six Gods out there that might intervene and save my arse, because I was pretty fucking sure that Twilight had lost her damn mind, as all immortal beings are slated to do. Seriously, we go crazy at some point, and it’s usually not pretty. When I snap and go berserk? That’s me letting out a little bit of my immortal insanity, and it kinda keeps it in check. Twilight’s not me. Twilight… Well, with the added stress of being separated from her closest friends and family combined with the prospect of not seeing them again for the next thousand years if we were unlucky, I understood where some Dark Magic might have attracted a spirit of some sort.

Whereas I didn’t want to kill Twilight before she transformed completely and tore apart the world, I’m sure that some people would have totally stabbed their wife as some crazy-evil, super-magical shit happened. Twilight's fur turned from a pleasant purple to a near midnight shade, and her mane gained a translucent quality not unlike Celestia and Luna’s. Her horn grew a little longer and considerably sharper as her eyes brightened to a creepy glowing pink. My adorable little cuddle buddy grew into a bombshell of epic proportions before my very eyes, and as I took in the changes she’d made, I realized that Equestria was a special level of fucked if she had dark intentions. The altered, taller version of Twilight stroked her face, working her jaw as it lengthened, taking away from Twilight’s cuteness and adding a certain serene beauty to her face, but when she opened her mouth, I was a little wary of the fangs that protruded as she ran her tongue over them,, surrounded by otherwise flat teeth. The change in her outfit was noteworthy as well, as Twilight’s smock and leggings had turned to what seemed to be some sort of cleric’s garb. Shit was unnecessarily sexy, to be honest with you, but maybe that’s because I’ve always wondered what Twilight would look like dressed up in RPG cosplay. Whoever the fuck the person in front of me was vaguely looked like Twilight, but she wasn’t my wife. Not by a long shot.

She glanced at me and did a doubletake, giving me a long look before scanning our bedroom like she was checking for traps. “We’ve got this room warded well, I see.” She said, her voice velveteen and unnatural, carrying whispers of another couple of voices underneath hers.

“Yeah, for all the good it’s done us.” I said cautiously. “So… We’re not speaking Alicin anymore. That’s a step up.”

The Dark Alicorn gave me a smile, and I really wanted an adult to come lock a chastity belt on me. “I’d say so. You know, you don’t have to be so tense, Amour~” She purred, making me knees feel a little weak. “I’m still your wife. I’ve just… Moved on, in a manner of speaking.”

“... Yeah, no, like, can I get my cute little cuddle muffin back? I mean, don’t get me wrong, but this might take a little time to get used to if this is permanent.” I said, trying not to sound like I wasn’t about to try and turn her back to Twilight immediately.

She gave me a womanly look and waved her hand, and suddenly I was unable to scratch my head. While I was looking at the spatial rift that was closing, taking my left arm with it, ‘Twilight’ said, “I’m not just going to let you change me whenever you want, Maximus. I’m actually hurt that your first thoughts were to force me back into misery.” She said, her silken voice worrying its way into my heart.

“I-I’m sorry, Twilight-”

“Please, Amour, call me Brume.” She requested, restoring my arm to me. I didn’t need to check to know that she’d placed a Seal on it, but she confirmed it anyway. “If you try to betray me, I’ll know, and I’ll have to punish you. I know we said we wouldn’t do that anymore, but would you really stab me in the back over a little change in aesthetic?”

I took a calming breath and worked my left hand. “You’re not going to start doing evil shit, now are you? Because we both know I’ll have to stop you, even if I love you beyond words.” I said softly.

She gave me a gentle smile. “Je t’aime, Maximus.”

I had a choice. I had an idea of how powerful ‘Brume’ was, and I didn’t like it. The woman was seriously scary, and since she could nullify my Magic without a doubt, I would have to be relegated to killing her one way or another. It would be a long shot since she had Spatial Magic a-fucking-pparently, so I swallowed my trepidation and got on with my life.

“I love you too, but I think you need a new pet name.” I said, giving her a little smile.

Brume gave me a flirtatious smile. “Oh? You don’t think Cherry suits me anymore?”

I gave her an obvious once over. “I mean, when you were twenty centimeters shorter and your cheeks were pinchable, Cherry was apt. Now you strike me as someone more along the lines of Syrah.”

She rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Naming me after spiced wine is a little direct, don’t you think?”

“And naming you ‘Cherry’ because you blushed a lot wasn’t?” I asked.

She sashayed over to me and placed a finger on my chest, looking me in the eye. She was actually a little taller than me, so when she went to kiss me, I kind of felt intimidated. She kept it mild, however, and settled for draping her arms around my shoulders. “Maximus, I’m not going to hurt you or anything, so relax. What are you afraid of?”

I pursed my lips. “... You said something about reaching the bottom and you changed into an incredibly seductress-esque mage looking woman and now I kinda think you’re going the whole Nightmare Moon route.” I gave her a meek little smile. “Wanna tell me my worries are baseless?”

She rolled her eyes and went to say something. Then she shook her head, looked at me, rolled her eyes again, and finally spat out, “Thanks for the faith, Amour. It’s much appreciated.”

I held her hips and said, “It’s a very suspicious situation! I still love you, but I’m not trying to find out that you’re suddenly intent on taking over the world or something!” Brume pouted and it was absolutely heartbreaking, so I hugged her. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? The change was just abrupt and apparently you take changes a lot better than I do. I’ll support you one hundred percent through this, but-”

She pushed me away and gave me a little smile, her iris’ golden. “I would apologize for this, but it’s going to be quite the show.”

“... God?” I asked dumbly.

She winked. “Right-o, Max. So now you’re dealing with a version of your wife that’s completely insane! Congratulations!”

“... That’s cool and all..., Can I-” I tried.

God laughed at me. “Oh no, you can’t. Your God Powers are on lockdown, but if you want to shapeshift, that’s fine. I’m actually just keeping the extraneous powers. You never really used them for any good other than to heal people, so I’ll be stripping you of Discord’s little gifts until you actually need them. Brume should get plenty of use out of them in your stead, no?”

I stared at him before folding my hands over my nose and mouth. “Ah, yes! No good deed goes unpunished, Maximus, and ruining one of my little observation experiments was a very good deed that I will be punishing. You have one day to say your goodbyes to your Equis friends, and then I’ll be back to bring you to Equus! Isn’t this just such a happy occasion!” God beamed and the golden light faded from Brume’s eyes.

“... Hullo there.” I said meekly, letting my hands fall.

She gave me a smile. “Are we going to get started on our goodbyes? I doubt anyone will recognize me, but at least we’ll be able to see them before we go.”

“... Yeah. So, how are your memories?”

Brume gave me an odd look. “That’s a silly question, Amour. You’re silly. Come on, let’s go get everyone together!”

I took one of her hands and tried not to let the pain show in my smile. “I’ve got a surprise for you. I’ve been building something while you were making these beautiful paintings,” She beamed at that, “and I want you to see it in person. Are you game, or are you lame?”

“Never let it be said that Brume du Brume is lame!” She cried triumphantly.

I gave her a look. “Twilight Twilight?”

She blushed. “Ahem. It’s Twilight Haze.”

“Right. Come on Boom-Boom, we got shit to do and things to explain.” I really didn’t want to be bothered because I knew it was either going to be a cryfest or a weird, awkward gathering as people tried to figure out what the fuck happened to my wife.

I now understood what Twilight had felt when I turned into a Revenant in front of her, except I didn’t know that Twilight was going to turn back, and God had probably fucking left us on Equis long enough for her to lose it completely on purpose. As Brume and I walked to QT’s house for the former surprise party, I couldn't get my mind off of the difference in demeanor between my sweet little goofball-Princess and the absolute lorelei-Empress that was walking beside me, holding my hand and humming a nameless tune. The only person I'd ever even be able to compare her to would be have to be some unholy, slightly demonic offspring of a tryst between Noir after she changed her appearance, Celestia, and probably Nightmare Moon, to be honest. Everything about Brume was what I wanted in Twilight, though I’d never actually say it to her face. Where Twilight had a cute little handful and a little more around the rear, Brume had me struggling to stay strong with the perfection and bounce her bottom had. She was T H I C C in all the best ways where Twilight was a little on the petite side, and I wondered if Alicorns were just supposed to be sexy as shit or something. I checked out her bust briefly and found that while her breasts weren’t as big as Celestia’s, they were definitely larger than Luna’s, and I found that to be right in my Goldilocks Zone. Her cheeks seemed sleek and soft with natural contours making her face appear like it was carved from dark marble, but her lips stole the show. They looked even more kissable than before, and I had a had time simmering the lust down.

While we were walking, Brume asked, “What’s on your mind, lover?” The way she rolled her ‘L’ was music to my ears. “I’m used to you being lost in thought, but you’re usually ready to share.”

I decided to test the waters. “... Do you think you’re beautiful?”

She gave me an odd look and waved her hand, a mirror appearing in it as she used Discord’s Magic. It terrified me. “Well, now that I get a good look at myself…” Brume stopped completely and warped the mirror until it was tall enough for her to see her outfit in. “Huh. Cute, but not quite my thing. Oh well, I suppose we’ll just rectify that when we go to Equus, won’t we?”

I stood in shock. “Holy fuck.”

Brume smiled at me. “Is something wrong, Amour?”

“Syrah, did you just warp reality?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“You’re asking this like you didn’t literally just see it for yourself, silly. And yes, I do think that I’m beautiful now. It’s hard not to when you look like this.” Brume gave me a wink and blew me a kiss.

I snatched it out of the air and placed it on my cheek numbly. “Uh… So… Wow. God really gave you my powers.”

“It would certainly appear that way. Are you okay, Honey Bun?” She asked, concern written across that beautiful, magnificent face of hers.

“I’m just a little shell-shocked, you know? I mean, the sudden change in your appearance, the fact that you’re as powerful as I was… The confidence boost is great, I’m really digging that, but the rest of it has me a little worried, Syrah.” I said honestly.

She reached up and cupped my cheeks with her hands before giving me a kiss, but instead of the innocent feeling I usually get from my wife, I was met with a null, numbing bliss that coated my mind and made me want to surrender to her advances, whatever they may be. Her lips were dangerous, but as I tried to pull away, she pressed further and I couldn’t bear to actually break the kiss, no matter how much I wanted. I settled for solidifying my mental defenses, though it just wasn’t enough. I woke up from a daze as Brume patted my cheek.

“It’s my turn to protect you now, Max. You were my bastion, my anchor. Now it’s my turn to be that for you.” ‘My wife’ said softly.

I took a shaky breath. “I need you to make me a promise, Brume.”

She touched her brow to mine, her horn barely allowing the contact. “Anything, Amour. Anything within reason.”

“I need you to promise not to kill, and don’t dirty your hands with torture. Please promise me that.”

Brume backed off a little and gave me a sad look. “It’s a shame that you think I would resort to such base means of punishment, but much to my chagrin, I can only grant you one of your promises. Decide.”

I blinked at her. “... No killing?”

She winked at me. “Wise choice. Are we going to get a move on to your project, or are we going to spend more time out in the middle of nowhere?”

I shook my head. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s go.”

And so we went. Brume took the lead and held my hand as we went along and I couldn’t help but feel a small amount of anxiety about the power that an insane person wielded. I knew that Twilight would go to a lot of lengths to protect me, but I doubted that she'd ever outright kill or fight someone unless she had to. Brume, on the other hand, was an apex predator waiting for her next meal, and I felt like the bait in the trap, honestly. I didn’t know if Brume was going to be willing to listen to me at all, but I could hope that she wanted me to do well.

When Brume and I got to the surprise party, she was thrilled that we’d remembered her birthday, but no one knew who the fuck she was until she introduced herself as Twilight, then reintroduced herself as Brume. Most of the group just accepted it since she looked like a regular Alicorn to them since she had the effervescent mane thing going on, but Pinkie knew the truth, and when she took me aside for a quick chat, I knew that shit was serious.

“Max, why. Why. Why.” Pinkamena whispered furiously.

“Don’t blame me! I didn’t exactly do nothing here!” I whispered back, equally vexed.

She held a hoof to her face. “At least you guys aren’t going to make a mess of things on Equis, though I do wish you luck on getting your wife back. I really do.”

“Fuck you. You’re just glad that it’s not your problem.” I spat.

“Well DUH! Who wants an insane Alicorn with Reality Warping Magic to just be running free!?” Pinkamena murmured harshly.

I took a deep breath. “You know what? Whatever. How do I fix this?”

“The Elements of Harmony? How the buck should I know?”

“You’re Pinkamena-fucking-Diane-Goddamn-Pie!” I muttered fiercely. “How would you fuck-mothering not know!?”

She Pony-shrugged. “I just don’t, bud. I don’t know what to tell ya. Have fun on Equus.”

“Fuck off you useless rug-in-waiting.”

Pinkamena gave me a look. “That was just hurtful.”

“Sorry not sorry. I’m sure you know the feeling.”

“... I don’t want to say goodbye with you mad at me, Max.”

I walked over to her and gave her a hug. “We’ve had a lot more good times than bad, Pinks. Remember that.”

She hugged me. “I guess it’s just weird to think that you guys really are going back home.”

I rubbed her back. “We knew it was coming, it’s just taken awhile.” I said softly.

“... It took Twilight going insane, didn’t it?” Pinkamena asked quietly.

“... Yeah, I think so.”

“I’m sorry, Max.”

“It’ll be okay. I’ll figure out a way to help her or keep her from getting bored somehow.”

“I really do wish you the best of luck. Tell Pinkie I said hi.”

“I will Pinks.” I squeezed her a little tighter. “I will.”

We let each other go and rejoined the party where Brume and the rest of our friends were waiting. It wasn’t long before Celestia and Nyx caught me and took me to the kitchen so they could have a word with me like Pinkamena did. “Max, what the buck is wrong with Brume?” Celestia asked in a harsh whisper. Assume most of this conversation is in harsh whispers.

“She went insane from homesickness and came out of the dwelling like this. Don’t ask me what exactly happened, because I don’t fucking understand it myself, but I do know that my wife is now taller than me, more powerful than me, and looks like a hot damn.” I said.

Nyx shook her head. “She has been consumed by Alicorn Insanity. It happens.” She shrugged.

“Yes, but it doesn’t change a Pony like that!” Celestia murmured. “Twilight looks like Nightmare Moon! When Luna and I went through our period of insanity, we just changed the color of our manes, tails and eyes!”

Nyx gave her a look. “It also made you taller and more physically attractive. You forget this since it has been so long, but I remember.”

I looked at her. “And why do you remember better than Celestia?”

“It has happened to me twice instead of just once like with most Alicorns. I was not always quite so tall as a Pony.”

“Huh. So when you go crazy, you get stronger?” I asked.

“Essentially.” Nyx answered helpfully.

“Except Twilight was already pretty fuckin' powerful as far as Alicorns go.” I said slowly.

“Exceptionally so.” Celestia muttered, pursing her lips.

“So now she’s scary.”

“Very.” The elder women answered in unison.

“Swag. That’s a load of bad.” I said, scratching my head. “Oh well. I’m hoping I can reason with her as needed.”

“I am sorry that this problem weighs on your shoulders, but I am partially glad that it will not weigh on ours. Keeping Equestria whole has been tedious enough, and having to keep an eye on a being more powerful than you would be even more taxing.” Nyx said.

I gave her a look. “Thanks for the support.”

Celestia touched my arm with a hoof. “You’ll find a way to deal with it, Max. You’re a resilient creature, if nothing else.”

“Yeah, I’m just hoping that I don’t jinx myself.” I shook my head. “Let’s get back to the party, ladies. I’m sure Brume is wondering where we’re at.”

Turns out, Brume actually wanted me to help get pictures of everyone as momentos, so I did my duty as the loving husband to a potential serial killer and got her some commemorative photos of pretty much everything. When the pictures came out, we had to get duplicate photos of everything because Brume ignored my reasonable thought of just magicking it, so we went through a fucktonne of film very quickly. Still, everyone who didn’t know a damned thing about Alicorns was cool with the transformation in my precious Twilight since she was still pleasant and fun to be around with her new persona. I noticed that she tended to flirt with me more often, or give me affirmations of love that were laced with innuendo that got missed by the average Ponies, so I often responded in kind, finally having a chance to show off some of my stash.

During the entire event, the dichotomy inside of me was tearing me in half. On one hand, I liked the changes I saw in Twilight and found most of them attractive. I could see myself being willing to work with any dark tendencies that might pop up, but on the other hand, I want my Cherry back. I don’t want this ticking time-bomb waiting to go off if I don’t do the right thing at the right time, and I know she knows how I feel about her, which just makes me feel like shit. The woman could honestly just be Twilight putting on a mask and calling herself something different, or a beneficial awakening of her Alicorn powers, but it could also be her going mad with power from the sudden application of God Magic. The timing honestly coincided well enough for God to have put the Magic in her just as the Alicorn Insanity was taking hold, but now I’m just being a conspiracy theorist.

Or am I?

Anyway, Brume and I had a chance to say goodbye to everyone individually, and though I didn’t write about a lot of the people I’d met like Brown Note or Nose Dive, I knew that I was going to miss them. Sadly, their introduction into my life just wasn’t worth putting pen to paper for, lame bastards. I got a lot of hugs and Brume got a lot more since she had been the life of the party; undeniably so in fact. It was almost scary how easily Brume had assimilated into the Pony setting by telling jokes and regaling them with amusingly tame stories since Twilight was always more of a listener when it came to conversations that didn’t directly involve her. Whereas my Cherry would have been a wallflower with interesting insights when asked, Syrah was definitely a Type-A personality, and that was hot as fuck. I hated that I was finding more and more things to like about Brume, but she was my wife. The Covenant held firm, and I didn’t really have much of a fucking choice in loving her; kinda had to. Everything was (And still is) super weird at the moment, but as the party came to a close, I know everyone wanted a word with Brume.

I waited with QT while Brume took over as the hostess and sighed. “I know this is weird.”

“This is so weird, Max. Is that really BT?” QT asked.

“Saw her transform with my own eyes. She was hot before, but now she’s super hot.” I said, shaking my head.

“Well, she is more… Striking, I suppose. I… I wish you luck, Max.”

“Thanks, Twilight.” I said thickly. “I hope there’s smooth sailing ahead of you.”

“Here’s hoping.” She said, the verb from the sentence tingeing her voice along with sadness.

I gave her ears a friendly rub as the last of our friends petered out. Brume glanced inside and cleaned everything up with a snap of her fingers before waving me over. I gave QT one last hug and teleported over to ‘my wife’ to save a little time. After a wave goodbye, Brume shifted us to our house and had me start sending my things back to Equus since she wasn’t going to need any of her things. I finished up quickly enough since I’m an efficient fuck-motherer, yes I am, and I get shit done, so Brume dragged me over to our sofa for a talk.

When we sat down, she just sat next to me. Then she said, “Fuck this,” and laid across my lap, putting her head on the armrest. “Better. Maximus, my darling, we need to talk.”

I put my hand on her hip and looked her in the eye. “Name the subject.”

Brume brushed her fingers across my cheek and furrowed her brow. “You love me, but you don’t trust me. You’re expecting me to just go off for no reason, and that hurts, Max. You know what being on the receiving end of this feels like.”

I held her hand to my face, grimacing. “The woman I love changed in ways I don’t understand before my very eyes, Brume. I’m trying to accept that this is the new you, but… You frankly make my instincts go wild. I feel like you’re waiting to lash out-”

“And you know how much it hurts to hear that.” She said softly.

I took her hand from my face and pressed her fingers to my lips. Her fur was thicker than it had been, and it smelled different. Syrah had been an adequate nickname for her, if the scent she was giving off was any indication. “They were words I needed to hear, Syrah. You got these new powers and you’re not afraid to use them-”

“Max, Amour, I’m so sorry I took your arm from you.” Brume said. “I just needed you to know that I have the power to stop you from making a mistake. It really wasn’t a punishment, I promise! Did it hurt at all?”

“... No, but-”

“Good. I can nullify your powers now, so please, please don’t betray me.” She pleaded gently.

I closed my eyes. “I swear that I will never willingly betray you Brume du Brume. I can’t say that I won’t because I don’t know what that means to you, but I love you.”

I opened my eyes to see that she was giving me a loving smile. “Familiar words. I remember when we thought that you would outlive me.”

“The good old days before everything got complicated.” I said, experimenting a bit.

Brume sighed and a pensive look crossed her face. “The new days can be good too, Amour. We just have to take them as they come.”

“Life changes so fast sometimes.” I murmured, rubbing her ears.

“Like a rabbit changing direction, or like you reacting to a random thug’s punch.” She chucked mercilessly, her tone chilling.

Fuck. “... I like the new you.”

Brume reached up and booped me. “You like some things. It’s throwing you through a loop and you’re trying to catch your balance. I’m not upset, Max.”

I fondled one of her ears gently, making her smile. “... Is my mercy your mercy, Brume?”

“Of course, silly head.” She replied pleasantly. “All you have to do is ask.”

“Thank you Syrah. You’re a real doll.” I chuckled.

For some odd reason, she reached up and grabbed my face. “It’s the Brain-Sucker! Oh no! It’s starving!”

I tickled her side since she wanted to be an arse and thus began a very fun match of wrestling that I was fond of before being suckered into via opium-laced kiss. It was awesome because Twilight was stronger than me, but she limited her strength so that we were even and she was well aware of my pace. Things didn’t get more intense than a few kisses since I felt like I was dealing with another woman entirely, and Brume commented on that as well.

“You know, this must be what Kaid felt like.” She huffed after winning her second kiss in a row.

I gave her a salty look. “Don’t tell me you’ve got the hormones of a teenager.”

“Shush! No, I’m talking about when he had to find ways to get closer to me. I know how to get closer to you, but I don’t want to abuse them.” She pouted.

She was sitting on my hips at the moment and we were in a very compromising position on the living room floor, so my attention was a little divided. “Challenging me to a contest of strength gets you closer to me?” I asked, confused.

Brume raised a brow. “It’s the physical affection. Every kiss is hard-fought, and there’s plenty of contact. It’s right up your alley.”

I struggled to free my wrists from her grasp. “Sounds like you’re my wife. We knew that one.” I said like it had been obvious.

She leaned back and brought me up along with her. “Max, you don’t have to put up a facade. I know what you mean, and I’m not exactly offended. I understand that we have to re-familiarize ourselves with each other. Well, you more so than me, but still. I’ll be here for you when you need me, just like always.”

I wrapped my arms around her waist and gave her an irritated look. “It sucks that you know how I feel all the time.”

Brume smiled at me. “Is the unconditional love coming from me sweet and sticky?”

I couldn’t help but crack a little grin. “Like honey.” I let the smile fade. “I’m worried about you, Syrah.”

She stroked my hair comfortingly. “Don’t be. You’ve been in my shoes. I promise you that I won’t go mad with power or anything, so don’t be afraid.”

“Promise you’ll at least hear me out if I ask you to scale it back?” I requested softly.

“I promise.” My wife pressed her lips to my forehead for a long moment.

Deep in my gut, wrought throughout my instinct, a single message was rolling deep and it was ‘She’s going to turn into me’. There’s going to be some threat that comes in out of nowhere and requires my Twilight to start killing people like I used to, and it was hard to hold back the flood of emotion when that epiphany came. Brume held me in Twilight’s place and I couldn’t let the grief overwhelm me. I shut down, my vision narrowing to pinpricks until I swallowed the negative emotions so I could deal with them later, but as I managed to get them behind the metaphorical door, Brume slapped the fuck out of me before I could close it.

“Maximus! I can’t believe you! After the pain and suffering we went through before we came to Equis, you’re just going to try to ignore your emotions all over again!? I will NOT ALLOW THIS!” She finished with a house-shaking roar.

I raised my hands. “Brume, please-”

My wife gripped the lapels of my shirt and held me close, looking me in the eyes. It was hard to ignore the tears in her eyes and the frustration on her face, so I didn’t even bother to try. I coughed up the emotional hairball and let loose on Brume’s shoulder, as per her request. She comforted me throughout the ordeal, which was a little jarring in itself. As crazy as it seems, and as many times Twilight’s seen me go through changes, you would think that I’d be prepared to be there for her, but I was so concerned with losing the woman I married that, and I hate to say it, but accepting Brume was on the backburner.

As she consoled me, she said, “I know you don’t want to hear this, and I know you’ll never admit it, even if it’s true, but I’ll be better than I was. Whatever you want is in your grasp now-”

“Does that include anal?” I tried half-arsedly.

“It can be discussed.” Brume rubbed my back. “However, I’m just trying to tell you that I’m here for you through this, Max.”

I shook my head. “You’re taking this a lot better than I am.”

“Probably because I feel amazing to be honest with you. I mean, I kinda feel like the hottest thing on two hooves, you know?” Brume gave me a naughty smile.

I gave her a smile in turn. “The confidence really is a turn on, I’ve got to admit.”

She saw through it. “You married a shy bookworm, not this sexy librarian. I get it, Amour, I do.”

I made a face. “I’ll get used to it. I was telling you the honest truth when I said I like you as you are. I’ve never lied to you about that.”

“And I appreciate that, Max, I really do. I know that you still love me, and I know that you’re physically attracted to me, but it’s the difference in the personality that’s getting to you. You’ll come to accept the change like I have when you’re ready, Amour. Take your time.” Brume said supportively.

I gave her a kiss for her kindness, but pulled away before I could get hooked again, earning myself a pout. “Your lips are seriously dangerous now, Syrah. I’m kinda scared to kiss you for more than a few seconds.”

Her pout intensified. “I’m being really nice here and you’re not even going to let me have a reward?”

“Oh come on, love.” I said.

She switched tactics and went for the puppy-dog eyes. “Pwease?”

It was fucking shameful, my defense. I threw away a point on my man card for that shit, but the moment my lips met Brume’s, I couldn’t give a fuck less about it. The pure bliss was back, and since Brume was asking for a good kiss, I was going to go ahead and pull out most of the stops. What I wasn’t expecting was for her to dominate me until I could gather my wits, but through the fog that snogging her induced, I was practically helpless. I remember giving in after a little while and I barely managed to keep myself up, but when Brume let me go, I was higher than a fuck-ing star, man. I could have had an orgasm and not have noticed it through the pure ecstasy coursing through my veins, the feeling blowing coke out of the water, riveting every inch of my skin. It was beautiful and addictive beyond belief. My wife had to shake me to wake me, but when she did, I was hungry for another, but she placed a finger on my lips.

“Little hasty there, Max. What’s the hurry?” She asked, amused.

I blinked rapidly to snap myself out of the haze. “... You’ve gotta dial it down or something, Syrah. I can’t kiss you like that if it feels like… That.” I shuddered, my hands finding their way to my lips.

She gave me a curious look and guided my face back to hers once more, but instead of the heroin-like euphoria that I’d felt before, it was more of a mellow calm, like smoking an indica heavy hybrid. I could actually taste Brume’s lips since I wasn’t wrought with pleasure, and they tasted like a spiced blackcurrant wine, which surprised me a bit. She was a little spicy, but it wasn’t much more than a tingle. This time I was still higher than the fucks when we pulled apart, but I wasn’t fiending for another kiss at the moment.

“Better?” Brume asked, licking her lips.

I gave her a goofy grin because I was still riding the high. “Better.”

We did a little more snogging because it was nice, though I’m pretty sure she was setting up some kind of mind control. I asked and she said no, so I continue to write for the sake of posterity. Life gets real fuckin’ weird real fuckin’ quick, but… Well, there isn’t really a ‘but’ to this one. Shit’s just fucking weird. I have no idea what’s going to happen when we get to Equus, and I have no idea if we’ve actually only been gone for… Hold up, gotta check back;

Holy shit, it’s only supposed to be a day. Huh. Well then.

Again, temporal rifts and shit fucking with the timeline. I’m fucking done with this shit right now.

Alright, so While I was writing in my journal, Brume was writing in her old diary, so I asked if I could read what she wrote, right? She’s detailing methods of getting information from people that aren’t technically torture, and she’s designed a spell that sends people straight to Tartarus with minimal effort, backed with God Magic. Brume is terrifying, but she’s on our side.

Dear God do I hope she’s on our side.

Author's Notes:

Ah, fuck. I remember how sad I was that I wasn't going to get to fill this chapter with sex, but then I also remember being relieved that I wasn't going to have to fill it with sex. Coins have two sides, but cubes are better. Emotions are best represented on third-dimensional polygons, after all, and the fifth dimension is overrated.

Doom n' Brume. I wanted to write that in somewhere, but I couldn't so there it is.