It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve written in my journal, so I’ll cover a few things that have happened since then so I’m not losing time. I suppose I should start with the most important thing to me, which is the fact that Twilight’s been doing a lot of thinking lately. I haven’t wasn’t able to get inside her head for the past week, but she’d obviously had something on her mind that she seems to be considering whenever we’re together. I didn’t get a bad vibe or any negative emotions from her, but she was hiding something from me, and I didn’t like that at all. I found out what it was the morning before some bullshit happened, but waiting for her to be ready and willing was irritating the fuck out of me up until then.

Blue, Trixie, and I got together and have reinstated our dinners since we let them slip over time, but we’ve been growing closer with their help over the past couple of weeks. It’s been good to see my sister and my Mum so often, and it’s great that Blue and I haven’t been missing a beat over the occurrence. We’re back to normal, and her Other has been giving Kaid plenty of praise for cleaning up his language, though now she’s riding him about hitting on Roxy whenever he gets a chance. I’m never going to tell her that Roxy’s popped in to smoke with him and flirt (Without intent to sex him, that is), but I don’t know how long they can keep things quiet before Blue finds out and grounds them both. Kaid’s willing to take that risk since, and these are his words, not mine: ‘The handies are fucking awesome.’

Prince and Prime have an understanding now, but they still don’t like each other. They do talk from time to time, but Prince hates unnecessarily coarse language and Prime hates Prince’s manner of speaking, but they haven’t come to blows or harsh words yet, so everything’s good for now. Speaking of Prime, he’s taking a real liking to Kaid, and when the three of us hang out, we could probably make Briar Rose blush with the language that passes between us to be honest. It’s nice to hang out with people who aren’t afraid to swear like a sailor, and they’re both pretty good guys. They remind me of my old crew at times, and I’m pretty sure that’s why the three of us get along so well: we all miss the Stealy Wheelies and Will, so having like-minded people that aren’t afraid to jab and jibe with each other is pretty great.

While on the topic of myself, Kaid, and Prime, we all pitched in to start making marks in Prime’s realm so we could take some strolls and have ourselves a bit of fun. I usually build the house/mansion and set up the defenses while Prime gets the guard patrols and security set up. Kaid is still learning how to do things in the mindscape since he’s not terribly familiar with it, but after Prime and I wipe our memories so that the mark seems new, Kaid’s usually the one trying to come up with an infiltration route. Like I’ve said before, the fellow’s a genius, but his brilliance is rivaled by Prime’s near flawless intuition and my own experience and cunning. That being said, our first mark was a little too tough for us to handle as a group, so we agreed to rearrange it a little and try again when we were aching for a stroll. Kaid was ready and willing on the spot, but Prime and I wanted a little time to case the place, which is why I’m not detailing our second try yet.

I’ve spent some more time with Prince and Lavender (His Twilight), and I must say that they’re far too nice. They make for a great couple and all, but the sweetness between the two of them would make a diabetic lose both legs, three fingers on each hand, and probably their nose and an ear. Shit’s ridiculous, but when I took Cherry to meet them properly, we had a great visit, so I can’t be terribly irritated. We’ve been back to spend some time with everyone except Prime and Dusk, but that’s because Prime doesn't really like to let anyone into his realm. We’ve met Dusk, but that was out on the Central Platform, and we had our little visit there. It went well enough since Prime was actively trying to not be a dick, but he still slipped up with his language because that’s just how the guy is. Dusk is used to it, but he still chastises him for using ‘bad’ words too often, and Twilight isn’t usually far behind him with some admonishment of her own.

Roxy and Sugar Plum have their arguments just like Twilight and I, but the thing about that is Sugar Plum never wins and Roxy makes sure that she doesn't argue if she’s wrong anyway. It’s really the Other Twilight’s fault whenever they do argue, but neither of them hold grudges over any of their disputes, even though some of them have been real rows, according to Frosty. Sugar Plum’s pushed her to the point where she started freezing things on contact on more than one occasion, and Roxy’s been trying not to stay mad, but she tells me that it’s hard when Sugar Plum compares her to Prince and tries to get her to act more like him. Cherry’s done the same shit to me, but unlike Roxy, I didn’t let Twilight go anywhere with her suggestion.

To explain, Roxy got upset and hurt when Sugar Plum suggested that she act more like Prince and let her feelings be known gently at first, but Sugar Plum insisted that she’d be happier for it. Meanwhile, when Cherry suggested that I do the same, I guilt tripped the fuck out of her by claiming that she didn’t love me for who I was, and that’s because I honestly felt like that’s what her words amounted to. Granted, I had that conversation with Cherry around the same time Roxy had it with Sugar Plum, but we just had very different ways of handling things. My way got Twilight to stop with her suggestions in one go, but Roxy failed because she didn’t tell Sugar Plum the reason why she didn’t want to be like Prince, which was because she didn’t feel like she was being true to herself by acting out of character. Cherry and I visited them not long after we all had that conversation and I helped Roxy get her feelings across, but by the time Cherry and I got to talk to them, Sugar Plum had gone and started two more arguments about the same damned thing, leading them to sleep in separate houses. Once it was all cleared up, Sugar Plum apologized to Roxy and they grew a little closer because of it.

On a related note, Frosty let me know that the make-up sex was pretty damned good, though she wished that the two of us would argue so we could do the same. I think that’s a little fucked up and I told her as much, but when she tried to get offended by that, I suggested that we go on a date by ourselves and snogged her when she tried to keep being angry with me. We don’t get much time alone since neither of our Twilights like to let us be together for a sufficient amount of time unless they get to keep an eye on us, but we still take our time when we can and usually spend it cuddling or snogging. Sex isn’t really our top priority, but when we do have it, I’ve gotta say that it’s… Well, it’s fucking great. Roxy can keep up with me for as long as she wants to, and when I finally wear myself out, she’s usually happy to start riding until I get some energy back, and that’s just noice, mate. Cherry gets jealous because Frosty keeps pace with me easily and Sugar Plum gets jealous because her woman moans louder with me than with her, but then again, I think I’m more vocal with Roxy than I am with Cherry. We just work well together, and I can say without a doubt in my mind that I would be with Roxy for the rest of my life if Twilight wasn’t around. Sure, it’s a little weird when you consider that Roxy is technically a part of me, a fragment of my soul, but as I’ve said before, she is her own person with her own thoughts and feelings.

We do disagree on things, but we both know how to avoid arguing by keeping things civil and knowing when to push and when to pull, which doesn’t make that much sense because we haven’t actually known each other that long. I mean, Roxy might have a lot of my memories, but as I’ve learned with the Others, no one has the complete set other than me, and the Others tend to have clearer memories of times when I was acting like them. Prime remembers my thieving and murdering days better than I do, Prince remembers Castle life and the instances I walked the Prince Path with absolute clarity, Kaid has a few stories that I’ve pushed to the back of my mind since I thought they were unimportant, and Roxy somehow knows more about the girls than I do, though I blame that on my subconscious tuning in when I got bored of listening to girl talk. It happened often enough.

Let’s see… What else happened in- Oh! Kaid found a plausible diagnosis for my Magic wings and horn, and to simmer the flood of information he gave me down to the necessary facts (He wrote me a thirty plus page report on it), my Alicorn Magic really was being choked down by the Dark Magic I kept since they occupied the same ‘space’ in my body, that being the point around my navel. I never tried tapping into any power from there because my God Magic is located in my heart and my mental powers (Psycho/Telekinesis) are in my head. According to Kaid, since Dark Magic and Alicorn Magic are more alike than anyone could have guessed, they occupy the same place, and since the only thing I was trained with is my Dark Magic, that was the only thing I actually knew I had. The lightning bullshit comes naturally to me now that I know where to draw it from, but the only things I know how to do with it are shocking people through contact (Which I try not to do), throwing bolts of bright blue lightning (Second verse same as the first), and a couple days before I ended up in this extra technicolor Hell, I learned how to ‘ride’ the lightning bolts I throw.

To explain ‘riding’ the lightning, I basically have to throw a bolt and then grab it with my other hand before the trail gets too far. I did it by accident while trying to stop a bolt from hitting an innocent bystander, but the only thing I managed to do was alter the path slightly and send myself into the inner walls of the Castle. Shit fucking hurt. Healing up from that took a few hours, but that’s only because the bolt actually stopped at the wall, and since I was ‘riding’ it, that meant that I hit the damned thing at a fucking third of the speed of light. I don’t think I need to say that I basically turned myself into golden jelly by doing that. Eye-witness accounts say that it was weird to see my body go from a pulp back into me as I usually am, but apparently they didn’t think it was terribly grotesque because there wasn’t any ‘blood’. Crimson and Twilight knew that I was dead as shit, but then again, they both knew I’d come back from it soon enough, so neither of them freaked out for too long. However, I did catch quite the earful from Twilight for getting myself killed.

Little side note concerning the lightning thing: It feels like it takes a few seconds for me to reach whatever destination the bolt is going toward, and since then, I’ve learned through trial and error how to get off of the bolt before I hit something or someone. As long as I don’t mind the sheer windforce that comes from hopping off of it, I’m pretty much good, though the wind does tend to leave some pretty good scratches and scrapes. I still have to tuck and roll on occasion when I let go, but at least I haven’t killed myself yet.

As far as Alicorn Magic goes, the Others really do have their own sets of the same shit, though it’s all elemental and it’s all different. Roxy’s is ice, Prince’s is technically water, Prime’s is fire, and Kaid’s is still unknown since he hasn’t shown any signs of any powers, but he says he doesn’t give a shit about it either way. I know it bothers him that his Magic hasn’t formed yet, but everyone’s assured him at least once that having his powers seep out like ours originally did is more of a bad thing since it seems to be connected to anger. I’ve learned how to tap into the fury I’ve eaten over the years without letting myself actually get pissed off, but I still haven’t found out how to make my wings and horn appear without actually being ready to break my promise to Twilight.

Uh… What else is there? Oh yeah, I spoke to the girls about my mental situation, and for the most part, they understood what was going on. Pinkie asked to have a word with me the following day and asked if I could take her to meet some of them in my mindscape, so I specifically requested that we visit Prime first since he had a crush on her, which made her eyes light up the same way they had when I’d accidentally given her the wireless rotor. Needless to say, Pinkie was fond of Prime for weird reasons, like his nickname and the fact that he let her blow him within minutes of initially meeting each other. Dusk and I talked on the Central Platform while Pinkie and Prime were going at it, and we basically had the same things to say about the event. Namely, we thought the shit was weird. A bubbly psychopath with a love for fun and a rage-beast with a fervor for fighting got along way too well for them to be having missionary, but I really try not to think about that too hard. Pinks offered up a piece of her soul so she could brighten up my mindscape, but that shit ain’t happenin’ cap’n. Never.

I think I’ve gone far enough into current events to get me up to speed, or rather, to make sure I know what I did in the time I’ve been slacking with my journals. I mean, it’s only been about a month, and ever since I started my Midnight Stroll spin-off series with Pickum Pocket, it’s been that I just haven’t had the inclination to write about my current life. I guess I’ve just been rather nostalgic for a while, but I blame Will for that. When I go visit him and Bea with Twilight, we always end up regaling each other with stories or reminiscing about our time together. Bea and Twilight usually talk to each other when we start going off on a tangent, which is rude to say the least. They will literally walk away from us when we start talking about the ‘good’ old days, so Will and I started doing the same thing to them when they start talking about lame girl shit, but we're the ones who get in trouble. Twats and their double standards. No, I’m not going to apologize to Twilight or give any caveats to that. It’s fucking rude as shit in the first place, and if they wanna be mad about it, I can be so much worse. Will actually told me to cool my heels for a little bit the last time they pulled that shit because I went way the fuck off on them, though in my defense, I’d let them know the three times prior that I found it to be incredibly disrespectful and discourteous, especially since Will and I started sticking around when they talked about things we had no interest in. Twilight was cowed and stayed scared of me for days and Beatrix still hasn’t said a word to me, but then again, it’s only been two visits since that little event.

That was a long fucking paragraph. Didn’t mean for it to be that long, but I guess I forgot to mention that Twilight and I still make trips to Earth… Well, I just said it, so there.

Anyway, I’m gonna take a quick break and stroll the Castle Gardens for a little bit. It’s a little late in the night, so I might try and get more familiar with Luna before I describe yesterday.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Alright, so I started my day off by waking up next to Twilight. She was already awake and smiling at me warmly, so I returned her smile and said, “Well isn’t this a surprise. I was hoping to catch you napping.”

Twilight kissed my nose. “Well, you can’t always be the first one up, Amour. Sometimes I just have to steal your thunder, silly head.” Feel free to steal the lightning too. I don’t need that shit.

I faked a pout. “I’m a not silly head, you goofy goose.”

She smiled wider and gave me a smooch. “If I’m a goofy goose, then you’re definitely a silly squirrel. You never do stay in one place too long.”

“I’ll stay in bed with you all day if you let me.” I returned her smooch plus and extra one for posterity.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “It might be the weekend, but we still have to go to the Crystal Empire, Max. Shining and Cadance still have news, you know.”

“Why can’t they just write us like normal people?” I groaned. “Seriously, they’re the worst at keeping in touch. I mean, I still talk to my crew from Boot Camp, Octavia and Vinyl, and fucking Elfriede for Christ’s sake.”

Twilight booped me after rolling her eyes again. “That’s because you’re good at keeping in touch, Max. You like to form bonds with people and maintain them through any means necessary because once you find someone you can trust, you hold onto them like a Dragon with their hoard.”

I stared at her. “... It makes me sound really clingy when you say it like that.”

“You’re not clingy, just loyal.” Wifey gave me a reassuring smile. “I’d say you should be the Element of Loyalty, but then again, you fit Generosity pretty well too. Kindness and Honesty aren’t really your strong points, but you can do Magic and Laughter pretty well…” She trailed off.

“Is something wrong, Cherry?” I asked, concerned.

“... You’d make a good Dad.” She said softly.

“... I disagree. I really disagree.” I replied blankly.

My wife gave me a regretful smile. “I shouldn't have brought it up-”

“No, no, it’s fine. I just don’t think I’m ready to be a parent, Twilight.”

“If not now, then when?” She asked, looking me in the eyes.

I met her gaze readily. “When I can control myself well enough to not have to make a visit to the Moon whenever I get dangerous.”

“That only happens when the Traitorous Cunt is brought up, and everypony knows that now, Max.” Twilight argued without much enthusiasm.

“It’s still not something a father should be doing if he has a child.” I reached up and placed my hand on her cheek. “Twilight, we haven’t even been married for a full year. Why don’t we give ourselves a little more time to grow-”

Twilight placed her hand over mine. “Max, how much time is enough for you?” She asked. “How much growing do you want to do?”

“Cherry, we have all the time in the world. Why do you want to rush this?”

“... I don’t know. I just feel like my time is running out or something-”

“Which isn’t true. Celestia and Luna are fertile and they’ve been alive for thousands of years. Cadance is still fertile and she became an Alicorn the same way you did a decade ago.”

“... Is it so wrong for me to want to raise a child with you, Max?”

“No, it’s not.”

“Then why don’t you want to?” She asked quietly.

“... The lessons I learned about being a man came when my Dad could spare time from going to work and being beaten by my mother, Twilight. Despite what Kaid says, I never learned how to be a man or a father. I never had anyone to teach me what I should do if my kid has a bad cough, or if holding them too much is a bad thing. I know punishments and ridiculous rules that I will never hold my child to, but I don’t know what a decent father looks like. Mine was beholden to my mother, and my mother was a piece of shit. You’ve had examples of what a good parent looks like. You’ve had love from both of your parents, and like you’ve told me before, they made time for you. You’ve got a lot more knowledge on what it takes to be a good parent than I do, a lot more time with your parents than I’ve ever had, and a lot more experience with babies and children than I do. I’ve never even held a baby, Twilight. The only child below the age of ten that I’ve talked to in the past decade has been Button, and even then Tender Care is still chewing me out for treating him like he’s older than what he is.”

Twilight didn’t say anything for a few minutes, mulling over what I’d told her. “... I should’ve thought about what your childhood was like before I said anything. I guess I’ve just been convincing myself that we’re as ready as we’re going to get for weeks now, not taking into consideration that you still don’t really have a Dad. You… Even the person who’s supposed to be your Dad right now hasn’t really spent much time with you, but you do have a good parent, Max. Blue is there for you whenever you need her, and we both know that she’ll answer any questions you might have, and that’s not even mentioning that we have my parents, Tender and Digit, and the Cakes if we can’t get ahold of the usual suspects. I… I understand that you don’t feel like you’re ready, but haven’t you always been the type to learn the ropes as you go? You’ve said it yourself that you’re an adapter-”

“Twilight.” I said gently.

She sighed. “I know.”

“I’m not saying I don’t want to have a child with you. From the bottom of my heart, I really do. I just… I’m unstable. I scare myself, Twilight, and I don’t want to look at someone I helped create and see fear in their eyes.”

“... You scare me too sometimes, but I still love you, Amour. You know that.”

“But I can’t expect a child to understand that I’m not going to hurt them. I can’t expect a child to understand why I am the way I am. I can’t expect a child to love the broken mess that I am until I put enough pieces back together to form a decent Human being.”

“You are decent, Max.” She protested. “You don’t see it, but most of the Royal Family sees it, our friends see it, our staff members see it, our families see it. You’re the anomaly here, Max. The only person who doesn’t think you would make a good father is you.”

“... Have you been collecting opinions on the matter or something?” I asked neutrally.

She winced. “... If I say yes, how upset will you be?”

“Somewhat, but not very.” I replied.

“Then I can deal with that. The things everyone thinks you need to work on is your vindictive streak, your lewdness, and, with the people who know you well, the self-hatred. Other than those three things, everyone other than Celestia, Luna and Pinkie think you would make a good Dad as you are.”

“How many people looked you in the eye when they said that.” It wasn’t much of a question.

“That doesn’t matter-”

“I know Luna and Pinkie did.”

“Are you really going to trust the opinion of someone who is still in love with you and a person you yourself has said is insane?” Twilight asked sharply.

“What about Luna?” I asked.

“She doesn't count.”

“Alright. The reason I trust Celestia’s word is because she hasn’t wiped our minds and made me fall in love with her. She has the restraint to let us have a child of our own, even if you don’t see it. I trust Pinkie because she’s as wise as Celestia, even if you don’t see it. The reason I trust Luna is because she’s more honest than Applejack when you ask her opinion on something, especially if it’s a tough subject. You can’t tell me that you’re just going to ignore two of the oldest and wisest voices you’ve ever heard-”

“Since when do either of their opinions matter to you?” Twilight said hotly.

“... You realize I became a Prince because Celestia got me started thinking as a leader, right? You realize that I am as strong as I am today because of Luna’s wisdom, right? You do realize that we have asked them for their experience in multiple matters that don’t include ruling or running Arcadia, right? Their opinions matter to me because they’ve been around long enough to give good advice, Twilight.”

She glared at me. “Way to ruin my morning.”

“That wasn’t the intention.” I said softly.

My wife teleported out of bed. “Well that’s what you did. Thanks a lot, Max.”

I shook my head, closing my eyes for a little while longer. I really did try to see Twilight’s side of things, but I really didn’t want to because she hadn’t bothered to look at the prospect of being a parent from my perspective. She wanted a child then and there, and all I asked for was a little time, which I find to be reasonable. I asked for enough time to level out and grow some more as a person instead of rushing into parenthood head-first like so many of my friends back on Earth had been forced to do because they couldn’t find a pound or two for a box of rubbers. I didn’t want to and I still don't want to be a parent in the near future because I’m INSANE. My mind is literally in fucking pieces, and Twilight expected me to just up and want a kid like I was born ready to be a Dad. It pissed me off to a point, and as I lay in bed, I tried to calm myself down because, yet again, Twilight was ignoring everything I was saying in favour of trying to get what she wanted, and that just struck a nerve.

I tried to quell my hateful thoughts, using the breathing techniques I’d learned a good while ago, but just as I was getting back to a state in which I felt I wouldn’t deck the next person who spoke to me, Twilight asked, “Are you going to get out of bed, or are you just going to pretend like today’s not happening?”

“Give me a few more moments Cherry. I’m getting-”

“On my last fucking nerve? Yes, yes you are.” She spat.

I was in her face before I could control myself, and I was so many fucking levels of done with it, I couldn’t hold myself back anymore. “You know fucking what, Twilight!? Do you know how fucking sick of your fucking bullshit I am!? You ask the most unreasonable, asinine things of me and expect me to fucking heel like your Goddamn dog and I'm sick of it! You asked me to play nice with Shining.” I hissed. “I fucking did it. You asked me to be your Dad’s bitch. I fucking did it. You forced a promise out of me not to kill anyone in the middle of a Goddamn war and you had the fucking nerve to be mad at me for fucking ending it! You had the fucking nerve to do your damnedest to fucking betray me twice, and you fucking think that asking me for a Goddamn child is anymore reasonable than any of that bullshit!? You’re fucking naive. You’re fucking greedy. You’re fucking hateful. You’re fucking neurotic. You’re fucking cruel. You’re fucking hurtful, and you don’t give a shit about what ‘I’ want.” Tears were flowing from both sides, streaking our cheeks, our pain mutual. “I’ve given you everything you’ve asked for and whatever else I thought might please you. I’ve done my best to keep you safe, to keep you happy, to make your life with me as smooth as I possibly can, but the fucking moment I say I can’t give you something, you lash out. It feels like you take Every. Fucking. Chance to hurt me. What did I do to you, Twilight!? What did I do to deserve this!?” I sobbed.

Twilight tried to keep her voice level, but she couldn’t. “Max, I love you. I love you so much, and it hurts. What you said hurts so much.”

“It’s about fucking time you felt what you make me feel, Twilight.” I sniffed and cleared my eyes only for more tears to fall. “It hurts to know I hurt you, but you’ve done your best to make me suffer. I only asked you to do two things, and those things both amount to don’t betray me, yet you go behind my back and talk about me, you try to cheat on me, you order me around, and you try to make me into what you want. I’m… I’m so tired, Twilight. I’m so tired.” I closed my eyes and hung my head, ashamed, in pain, and exhausted.

I heard Twilight teleport away, but I just wanted her gone anyway. I wanted her by my side to tell me that she knew I didn’t mean any of it, but I knew that she was well aware that I meant all of it. I’d blown up and the Covenant couldn’t protect her from my words anymore, but it… It still hurts knowing that I could’ve kept my mouth shut, that I could’ve agreed to have a child then and there, that we could’ve been making love and been working on growing even closer, but… It was just one harsh word too many. It was a conversation turned argument that should’ve ended at ‘I’m not ready’, or ‘Yeah, let’s do it’, but it didn’t. I knew that there would be Hell to pay, and while I was bawling my fucking eyes out on the floor, I heard someone teleport in and felt them grab me by my shirt.

Shining Armor glowered at me. “You have exactly one minute to tell me why Twily is crying her eyes out on Cadance’s shoulder.”

My pain turned to anger in the blink of an eye, but I bit it back. “Don’t do this right now, Shining.” I begged shakily. “Don’t make me hurt you.”

“Minute over.” He snarled, cocking his fist back.

"YAWP!" I shouted, blowing his eardrums, fracturing the walls and floor.

Shining let go of me and sank to the floor, damn near dead. The air sparked to life around me as I checked to see if his status as an Alicorn would keep him alive, and once I did a little healing, I knew he would be alright. He wouldn’t have died permanently either way, but I felt like I’d fucked up big time. I’d promised Twilight that I would never fight Shining again, and it tore me up that I’d almost killed him because he was foolish enough to come after me. I attached a Seal to him that would speed up the healing process and shifted over to Blue’s house. She was sitting in her living room reading a book when I showed up, my face a mess, trembling like mad. The moment my Mum laid eyes on me, she tossed her book and ran to me, wrapping me up in a hug that I needed as much as I needed to take an actual breath instead of gasping for air like I was, too choked up to even speak.

“Baby, baby, calm down. Take a deep breath and tell Momma what’s going on when you’re ready, okay? Just breathe.” She said, her motherly love doing little to ease the pain.

I tried to talk, but the only things that came out were more thick sobs. I heard someone teleport into the house, but when they touched my arm, I couldn’t bear to let go of my island of comfort. Even if Blue couldn’t make the pain go away then and there, she still helped, and an iota of oxycodone or morphine was better than none at all. The hand on my arm stayed there for awhile, but when it was clear that I wasn’t stopping, I learned who that hand belonged to.

“Blue, what’s going on?” Cadance asked. “Twilight just came to the Crystal Castle in tears and she barely even managed to tell me that it’s something involving Max, and I just… I think Max tried to kill Shining.”

“You know more than I do right now, Cadance, but I do know that if Max wanted your husband dead, he would be.” Blue said, making me sob a little harder, though it was out of appreciation.

“Max…” Cadance said softly. “Did you try to kill Shining?”

I shook my head.

“Did he try to hurt you?”

I nodded.

“So it was self defense.” She sighed.

I shook my head.

“Wait, did you throw the first punch?” Cadance asked, anger creeping into her voice.

I shook my head again.

“Then Shining threw the first punch.” She said slowly.

I nodded.

“... Then how-” Cadance tried.

“Sweetie, just stop.” Blue said with steel in her voice. “We don’t know what’s going on, but I can’t even get a word out of Max, so please: stop.”

“I’m not trying to-”

“You’re badgering him while he’s hurting.” Blue said coldly. “Who’s with Twilight right now?” She asked, losing the edge to her voice. “I’m sure your support means more to her than just about anypony else’s right now.”

“I took her to Twilight Velvet and Nightlight so I could do a little digging… Now that I see the state Max is in, I think he’s taking it harder than she is…” Cadance said quietly.

“Please, go and try to get her side of the story. I’m sure she’ll tell it truthfully without leaving out Max’s feelings.”

“Yes ma’am… Thank you for being Max’s mother.”

“Well I officially can’t say it’s a thankless job, now can I?” Blue joked gently, giving me a nudge. I couldn’t laugh at it, but I did recognize it for what it was.

“I’m sure Max has thanked you plenty for opening your heart to him. Take care of him until I come back, okay?”

“I will, Cadance. Now shoo!”

And so Cadance did shoo indeed, leaving Mum to grab me and take us over to her sofa so she could hold me for awhile longer, but the pain just didn’t fade. I could still catch vibes from Twilight, and her pain fed into my own, but it didn’t help that I was siphoning hers so she wouldn’t have to suffer as long. No, Twilight didn’t know that it’s possible, but I’ve done it multiple times to calm her down, taking the brunt of both of our emotions to protect her. No matter how upset I was with Twilight, I still loved her with my whole heart, and that made me feel trapped like being locked in someone else’s mind, or being banished to the Moon. I hated myself for letting things get so far. I hated Twilight for taking things so far. I hated myself for breaking my silence. I hated Twilight for making me feel like I had to stay quiet. I hated myself for hurting her. I hated Twilight for hurting me. I hated that I shocked Blue from time to time when I couldn’t keep my powers under control, but I loved her for never letting go of me for a moment. Well, up until she let go of me for a moment to write a note to Trixie, who showed up less than two minutes after she sent it.

While I was drowning in the bloodflood, held down by breezeblocks, Trixie and mum held onto me, trying to keep my head above water. Thankfully I still had my wits about me, I just couldn't stop crying. Actually, it kinda sucked that I couldn’t just let myself fade away, but I had to keep draining Twilight’s pain, so I needed to keep my mind straight unless I wanted her to go and do something drastic. After a long time (I don’t know how long it actually was), Cadance came back, though I couldn’t see much since, you know, crying and all that.

“Hello again.” Cadance said sadly. “I see Max is still beating himself up.”

“So Twilight finally talked?” Blue asked.

“Yes. She asked me to thank Max for making her feel better.” Cadance’s voice sounded closer than it had been before.

“... I’m already confused.” Blue said.

“Twilight knows that she should be hurting more than she is, and the only thing she can think of it that Max is eating her pain to protect her from it. Is that true, Max?”

I nodded my head from Blue’s shoulder.

Trixie squeezed my right arm. “That’s very noble of you, brother.”

“It really is. Thank you, Max. Not just from Twilight, but from everyone.” Cadance said kindly.

I didn’t respond to that, so Blue asked, “What even happened? Max was already breaking down when he got here, and I know some of this pain has to be his.”

Cadance sighed. “Twilight… She… Max and Twilight had an argument about having a foal. Twilight feels like they’re ready, but Max thinks he needs more time to grow and mature, which no one blames you for.” She said, addressing me at the end. “Max tried to end the argument, but Twilight was still upset after she got out of bed-”

“Wait, they were arguing in bed?” Trixie asked incredulously.

“According to Twilight, she thought it would be a good idea to spring having a child on Max minutes after they woke up.” Cadance sighed again. “May I continue?”

“Sorry, Trixie did not mean to interrupt.”

“It’s quite alright. So Twilight got dressed and Max was still in bed, trying to calm down when Twilight came back and asked him if he was ever going to get out of bed, though she says she was rather hateful about it. When Max asked for a little more time, Twilight swore at him and told him that he was working her last nerve, which made him snap and say some pretty awful things to her, but…”

Blue held me tighter. “But?”

“... According to Twilight, Max didn't say anything untrue. It was a hard truth that he’s been swallowing for a long time, but Twilight just pushed him too far. I… I can’t say I blame Max, as much as I hate to say it, looking at it from both sides. Everyone knows Max has a temper to match any demon from Tartarus, but at the same time, I don’t recall Max ever so much as raising his voice at Twilight, no matter how upset he was with her.”

“Anypony who knows Max knows that he never would have said a thing to Twilight in a normal circumstance, so why was this time any different?” Blue asked.

“Twilight said that it wasn’t just about having a foal. It was about a few things.”

“Like?” Blue asked.

“Twilight’s been asking Max to make some pretty unreasonable promises. Things that have gotten him physically and emotionally hurt.” Cadance said, trying to evade the question.

“Again, I’m going to need more details, Cadance.” Blue said gently.

Cadance took a deep breath and sighed. “I think you know that Twilight asked Max not to do anything against Shining and Night Light, but she also asked him to stop killing while The War was still in full swing. She mentioned a lot of other things, like that she tried to cheat on him for days, and that she slips up and tries to break some of the rules that Max put in place so they wouldn’t hurt each other anymore. She didn’t tell me what the rules were, but she did mentioned that she’s yelled at Max for asking her to stay true to her word…”

“So Max snapped at Twilight for being thoughtless?”

“His words were naive, hateful, hurtful, neurotic, and cruel.” Cadance said softly. I sobbed harder because I didn’t like the sound of my own feelings. “I suppose all of that amounts to being thoughtless.”

Blue rubbed my arm as I tried my best to dehydrate myself. “All I’m hearing is that Twilight’s been a bucking nag, Cadance.” She said quietly.

Trixie rubbed my back. “... Trixie hates to say this, but she thinks Twilight needs to try and change like Max has been.”

“Twilight herself thinks so too.” Cadance said. “I can’t disagree. Twilight even admitted that when she and Max fight, it’s usually not Max’s fault.”

“... Everypony was so focused on making sure Max treated Twilight like royalty, appreciated her like she deserves, but Trixie doesn’t think anypony’s ever told Twilight that she needs to appreciate Max.”

“No one thought it was necessary.” Cadance said softly. “Even I assumed that Twilight was getting a bad deal when Max and Shining fought the first time, but... “

Blue let me go and Trixie pulled me over to lean on her for a little while. “I can’t recall ever having been this livid.” Mum said shakily. “I can’t bucking believe this.”

“Mom, Trixie thinks now would be a good time for some tea, don’t you agree?” My sister suggested.

“... Yes. Now is a good time for tea.” Blue rose from the sofa and Cadance took her place.

“Max… You don’t have to take on Twilight’s pain too. She’s her own mare.” Cadance said.

I shook my head.

“Is it because you feel obligated?” She asked softly.

I nodded before shaking my head.

“So that’s not the only reason… Is it because you don’t want her to hurt like you are?”

I nodded continuously.

“Max… It’s not your job-”

"It fucking is!” I spat in half a breath. I sounded a lot more spiteful than I wanted to, but I had to force the words out somehow.

Cadance put a hand on my back. “It’s okay, Max. It’ll be okay. Twilight knows what’s wrong, and she’s going to start fixing it as soon as possible-” Someone teleported in. “Shining, I swear to the Heavens I will hurt you if you start shit!” Cadance shouted.

“ Love Bun-” He began.

“No! If you’re not here to help Max, then you can get the buck out! I am not going to let you lay a so much as a bucking finger on him for speaking from his heart!”

“... I’ll leave.” Shining said, staggered. He did leave.

Cadance cooled down quickly enough. “Don’t worry about him, Max. One way or another, he’ll leave you alone.”

“Trixie thanks you, Cadance. You are a good friend.” My sister said.

“Max needs good friends and close family right now. It’s… I’m just happy he has someone to turn to when he needs them.”

“Trixie will never abandon her brother.” She said resolutely. “If Blue can’t handle him, then it’s Trixie’s duty as his big sister to lend him a shoulder.”

“I can handle him, I’m just making tea!” Blue called from the kitchen.

“Trixie didn’t say that you couldn’t!”

“That’s not what I heard, young mare!”

Cadance chuckled as Trixie huffed. Eventually Blue came back with tea and switched places with Cadance while my sister and Taffy Tones were giving me assurances that I couldn’t take to heart at the moment. They tried to get me to drink some tea, but I couldn't see the cup, my Telekinesis required a clear mind and a calm heart, and I just didn’t really want it anyway. I would’ve preferred to curl up and shut down for a little bit, but it wasn’t really an option at the moment. However, someone else deemed it worthy to teleport in.

“I heard what happened. Is there anything I can do?” Luna asked.

“... Auntie Luna, don’t take this personally, but I don’t think I ever would’ve expected… Well, don’t you dislike Max?” Cadance asked.

Luna snorted. “I love Max as I love you, if not more so. I would come for either of you, should I know my assistance is needed or wanted.”

“... I’m sorry, but I just never took you for the supportive type.”

“Who do you think supports Celestia when the weight of Equestria balances on her shoulders?” Luna said irritably. “It surely isn’t her favoured niece, who she would never trouble with such matters. No, I have my own way of comforting those I care for.” I heard her walk across the carpeted floor and heard her heartbeat in front of me.

When I opened my eyes and tried to look at her, Luna put a hand on my knee and said, “You have shown much restraint, Maximus. You avoided hurting you beloved for as long as you could bear so that she would not suffer as you do. You have made many sacrifices, swallowed your pride and rage long enough. Take your time. Let your pain out. We will be here for you through the maelstrom, and we will still be here when you come through this, and we know that you will. You are, above all, a survivor, Maximus. You survived the violation of your body multiple times. You survived my training and Celestia’s teachings. You survived the Everfree twice. You survived The War and all it threw at you. You survived a fight with the most powerful being on Equus. You survived the Traitor’s draconian, torturous, frankly inponane conditioning. You’ve survived all of these things with scars and bruises, but you made it through. This may be another wound on your soul, but you have survived heavier blows than this, Maximus, heavier blows by far. You have been broken and rebuilt countless times, and now is one more time that you must put yourself back together, though the shards may ache as they join once more.”

I shook pretty hard, trying to choke down some sobs to tell her that her words had reached me, but I was taking her advice and just letting it all out while I could. It meant… I mean… The support of my friends and family, even when I felt like I was in the wrong, meant so fucking much to me that I would’ve cried anyway, even if I wasn’t in the process of doing so. While I was taking time to process more emotion in the only way I could at the moment, guess what fucking happened? Someone else teleported in.

“Hello.” My wife said softly.

“You need to leave.” Said three voices of varying hostility. Luna stayed quiet.

“I-” Twilight began.

“Mare, if you’re not out of MY BUCKING HOUSE-” Blue started lethally, her voice building to a roar.

The shock of hearing her voice faded quickly enough for me to shift to her and wrap her up in a hug. “Cherry I’m sorry I’m so fucking sorry I’m sorry-” I babbled rapidly.

“Amour,” Twilight tried, but I kept spouting apologies, “Amour, please, listen to me-”

Mum tried to pull me off of her. “Max, she's the one who should be apologizing!” Blue shouted. “Get ahold of yourself!”

I kept it up with the apologies until Twilight pushed me away. “Max, I’m really sorry for this!” She said shortly before slapping my shit hard enough to make me snap out of it.

I sniffed a few times and rubbed my cheek, but Blue was beyond fucking furious. “You bucking NAG!”

Twilight encased us in a soundproof bubble. “Amour, are you listening?”

I nodded. “Y-Yeah.”

She cleared my tears before taking my hands and holding them. “Amour… I never meant to hurt you, and I don’t hate you. I truly don’t. I… I’ve been a terrible wife. I was a decent girlfriend, a bad fiance, and an outright terrible wife, and I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry for hurting you, Maximus. You know I love you with all my heart, which is why I want you to do something for me.”

“Anything. Name it.” I said foolishly.

“Do you promise to do what I’m going to ask you to do?” Twilight said softly.

I wanted to start crying again. “Yes.”

“Change me. Take away the nastiness inside of me, Amour. Make me a wife worthy of being by your side.” Twilight’s gaze was steadfast, her resolve as firm as a star is dense. I couldn’t hear a hint of doubt in her voice, nor could I see so much as a twitch of demurral in her body language. Everything I saw in Twilight was dead set on making me do it.

“... You can’t ask me to do that.” I said pitifully. “You can’t, Twilight.”

“I’m not asking you to change the woman you love, Maximus. I’m asking you to help her make herself a better person. I know I have no right ask something so unreasonable of you, especially not after all I’ve forced onto you, but this one is for you, Amour. This promise is so I don’t keep hurting us and what we have. This… I want this, Amour. I want this more than I want a child with you. I want this more than I want you to keep things civil with my family. I want this more than I’ve wanted anything other than your love. The only reason I’m asking you and not Celestia is because I don’t trust her like like I do you, but if you won’t keep this promise, and I won’t hold it against you if you don’t, but I’m going to her. I refuse to add anymore pain to your heart. I simply can’t bear the thought of losing you because-” Twilight choked up and swallowed hard. “I don’t want you to leave me, Amour. I-I can’t live without you, so please! I’m begging you to make me the wife you’ve always needed.” Twilight’s voice shook and she let out a sob. “Please stop letting me hurt you just so I can be happy, because… I don’t want to live, knowing that I’m just going to hurt you again and again.” Twilight said through her tears. “I don’t want to live this fucking life knowing that the man I love more than life itself is suffering because of me.”

We’d started crying at the same time and I brought Twilight to my chest before I trusted myself to speak. “If you change, I change. I can’t deal with changing you alone, Twilight. I can’t just let you go through this alone.” I sobbed.

She held me tightly as she spoke. “You stick to the rules, Max! You avoid hurting me already! You do your best to make me happy and I do my worst! I don’t deserve to have you if I can’t treat you like you’re my world, because it’s just. Not. fair. We are equals in everything, Amour. I swear, this is the last ludicrous promise I’ll ever ask you to make-”

“That’s because you’re asking me to take the choice away from you, Twilight! I swore I’d never use Dark Magic against you because I don't want you to change-”

Twilight pounded my chest. “I need to change, Amour! This isn’t just about what I want! This is about what you deserve, and you don’t deserve to be treated like this! Don’t touch my personality or my feelings, just make me think twice about what I’m doing to you! Make me consider your feelings! Let me be a better woman for you!”

“I can't Twilight! I just can't!” I sobbed.

“Yes you can, Max.” She pushed me away and we looked at each other through tear-filled eyes. “You’re the only one with the power and precision to do it without changing who I am. You changed my Others when you put them in your mindscape-”

“They’re not you!” I cried.

“Yes, they are! Sugar Plum and I proved that, Max! Lavender and I proved it again! You’ve changed them so they can be happy, so why won’t you change me so you can be happy?”

“Because I love you. I love you too much for that, Twilight.” We wiped away each other’s tears at the same time.

“It’ll happen whether you want it to or not, Amour.” My wife oathed. “I… I can’t let myself hurt you anymore, so please; do this for us, not just me.”

“Cherry…” I grit my teeth and shook my head. “No. No.”

“Then I’ll have Celestia do it,” Twilight said softly.

“... Don’t make me beg, Twilight Sparkle. Please.”

She reached up and held my face in her delicate hands, the small action speaking far more loudly than words. “I love you, Maximus. I love you more than I value my life. Either you stop me from hurting you, or I hurt you one last time.”

My heart froze and I panicked. “Twilight. What do you mean?”

My wife’s eyes told me everything. She didn’t need to say a word. Twilight was going to commit suicide if I didn’t do this one thing for her. I saw the desperation, the willingness, the love, the shame, the ache. I’d driven Twilight to the point where she was willing to take her own life to keep from hurting me. I did something I regret doing.

I smacked Twilight.

She stumbled from the force of the blow and I caught her arm before she could fall. Twilight looked at me, absolutely shocked. “Don’t you dare, Twilight Sparkle. Don’t you dare leave me alone. Don’t you fucking dare.” I said, my voice trembling with raw emotion. “Don’t you fucking hurt me like that, because I’ll never be the same without you. I’ll never make it without you, Twilight. I can’t live without you.”

“... I… I’m sorry. I love you, Max. I… I can’t leave you alone.” Twilight responded, placing her hands on my chest. “That was the most selfish thing I’ve ever said. I… Max, this is why I want you to change me. I want you to make me not say stupid things like that anymore.”

“I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to hit you, I-”

“Amour, I was speaking like I lost my mind. You had to knock some sense into me.” Twilight pulled me down and gave me a watery kiss. We were both still shedding tears and really hadn’t stopped since the conversation began.

I didn’t want to let her go, so I held on for dear life, trying to make her understand why I couldn’t keep the promise. I wanted her to know that I loved her as she was, but I just wanted her to think a little more. I didn’t want to dive into her mind and make her the wife she thinks I need, but as I was trying to get my point across, Twilight was doing the same. We kissed fervently, each of us trying to sway the other to come to our line of thinking, to see things from our side, but Twilight was never going to budge. She really was going to ask Celestia to alter her mind if I didn't do it, but she knew that I couldn’t bring myself to modify her without there being physical or emotional damage done to her. Sadly, Twilight wasn’t going to give way, so I had a few choices: I could do the revisions myself, or I could let Celestia do it. I could tell Celestia to not listen to Twilight, but that would run the risk of Twilight becoming self-hating like I am.

I still hate myself for putting my hands on her head and pressing my thumbs against her temples. I still hate that I caved and broke my promise to myself. I still hate that I altered my wife for my own personal gain, but it all felt worth it when Twilight pulled away and gave me a heartfelt smile that matched the one she’d given me on our wedding day. When Twilight buried her head into my chest and thanked me, I felt a little hollow inside, like I’d betrayed her in the worst of ways, even though she’d begged and pleaded for me to commit such a heinous crime. My heart wouldn’t tell me what to feel. My mind was as clear as mud. My soul felt like it had been freshly washed in extra virgin olive oil, which is weird, but it’s how it felt. I do know that having Twilight in my arms made me feel less shitty, even if I was heartbroken that I’d made her feel like she needed to change for me.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, my wife said, “I love you, Maximus. Thank you.”

“I love you too, Twilight Sparkle, but please never ask me to do that again unless you want me to change you back.” I requested softly.

“I know it feels bad now, but you’re saving us a lot of pain down the road. You’re saving yourself from me, and I know I feel better for it.”

“... If I’m helping us, why does it feel so bad?”

“Because you don’t want me as anyone other than who I am, and I love you for that. I know you didn’t change who I am, just some of my behavior.”

“I still don’t like it.”

“That’s because it’s been less than ten minutes, silly squirrel,” She jibed sweetly.

“Goofy goose,” I murmured.

“Can I convince you to let me handle my own pain from now on?”

“No. I’ll always take what I can handle from you.” I said honestly.

“No, you’ll take as much of it as you can so I don’t have to deal with it. Seeing you in pain hurts me too, Amour, and knowing that you’re swallowing mine on top of your just makes it even worse.” She said softly.

“... I’ll take less.”

My wife sighed. “I’ll learn how to take your pain from you one of these days. You’re not the only loyal one in this relationship now.”

“Do you still want to sleep with Digit?” I asked.

“Not really. He wasn’t that good and he doesn't last as long as you do. I don’t think I’ve ever even made extra icing with him.”

“Tender wasn’t that good either. That’s the real reason I don’t want to have a kid yet; I don’t want your Cupcake Castle to get ransacked by some brat.” I joked half-heartedly.

“Well, it’s not like we can have one of our own, Max.” Twilight said softly.

“I’m a god, Twilight. According to myths and legends, my kind can get anything pregnant as long as it has a womb.”

She pulled away from me with an incredulous look on her face, blushing brightly. “Don't you always leave my Cupcake Castle full of custard?”

I nodded. “I never bothered to make myself fertile because I don’t think we’re ready for a child yet.”

“Huh. Well, like I said, I’m giving in on this one.”

“Thank you.” I gave her a little smile.

“That does mean that I want you to go until I ask you to stop tonight.”

I blinked at her. “You what, Cherry?”

“I think we should have make-up snacks. This is one of the worst fights we’ve ever had, so I think we should smooth it over with a night of passion. If you don’t want to-”

I leaned down and gave her a kiss. “We’ll see when tonight comes. If nothing else, we’ll do some snuggling.”

“That’s just handsy cuddling, right?”

“It usually involves a tummy rub.”

“So we’re having snacks.” Wifey said slowly.

“Tummy rubs don’t always end in snacks, Twilight.”

“This one might.” She wiggled her brows at me.

I gave her a look. “I might be sorry for saying some harsh things to you, but I’m still going to talk to you about the suicide thing while we’re having emotional discussions.”

Twilight gave me a warm smile. “As long as you don’t die permanently or stop loving me all together, you have nothing to worry about, Amour. And no, I’ll never use that as a tool to make you stay with me if you want to see someone else. If you ask me to, I’ll live for you.”

I smiled and stroked her cheek. “Those are the best words that have ever come out of your mouth since ‘I do’.”

“Which ones?”

“‘I’ll live for you’.”

“I’d also die for you, but I’m pretty sure it means more when I say I’d live for you.”

“It really does. Dying is easy, living sucks most of the time.”

She gave me a hug and I returned it. “Not with you. Living with you has made me the happiest I’ve ever been, even if we do fight from time to time.”

“... I’m sorry I broke-”

“Max, you broke that promise to protect me. If you break another promise to protect me, then I’ll understand, but please try not to kill anyone. You don’t need the souls on your conscience.”

“... Are you telling me-”

“Yes. I absolve you from any promises you’ve made, other than our vows and the rules.” Twilight let go of me and looked me in the eyes. “You’ve been doing great with not shedding blood, and I trust you to make the right call whenever the occasion arises, If another one ever should.”

“... So I break a promise and you give me more trust?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“Like I said, I’m absolving you from all of them. If you want to lie to me, then-”

“Twilight Sparkle, I promise to never tell you a lie for my own personal gain, or to cause any kind of detriment to you. If I ever lie, it’s to protect you from a hard truth or needless violence.” I said solemnly.

“In that case, I have two questions.”

“Ask away.”

“Why didn't’ you tell me that you were the one who made Shining an Alicorn?”

“... I made a promise to both Shining and Cadance that I would find a way to make him immortal. I… I played God with my powers to keep that promise, but I didn’t want you to know because I didn’t want you to ask me to do it for anyone else.” I said shamefully.

“I won’t ask you to ‘Play God’ again, Max. I understand that you don't want that kind of responsibility on your shoulders, and even if I did wish that you’d make whoever asked immortal, I couldn’t ask you to abuse your powers like that. You told me that you were afraid of becoming another Discord, and I’ve had a long time to think about what you said. I… I won’t ask you to make any of our friends Alicorns… We’ll… We’ll make it through their passing together.” Twilight held my hands and gave me a wan smile.

“I shouldn’t be thanking you for the death of our friends.” I said, making a face.

“It’s not like I’m killing them, Mr. Smartass.” She said blandly.

I gave her a quick peck. “You had another question, right?”

She nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me I almost got assassinated?”

“Which time?” I asked.

“... There were multiple?” Twilight said numbly.

I nodded. “The first was with Blueblood at our wedding. He shot a poisoned dart at you, which is why my hand bled on your wedding dress.”

“Yes, Kaid told me about that one. What about the others?”

“Well the last tourney you attended had some fucker with a bow planning an attempt, but She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named caught the woman before she could get her shot off and we sent her to Tartarus.”

“So THAT’S why you always stuck next to me until you had to go and get another win.”

“By your side is also my favourite place to be.” I added.

“That’s sweet, but what about the others?”

“Uh… I think the only other one was when some guy tried to drop a brick on your head after getting to Floor B. That was after I killed Discord, so my barrier stopped it before it ever came close.”

“Huh. So you’ve saved my life multiple times.”

“I try,.” I said modestly.

Twilight came in for one more hug. “I love you, Maximus. From the frogs of my hooves to the tip of my horn.”

I looked at her walking sticks. “The fuck is a hoof frog?”

“It’s the ticklish part of the hoof.” She explained.

“Weird.”

“I didn’t name it that, so don’t look at me funny.”

“I’ll look at you lustfully then.”

Twilight wet a finger and stuck it in my nose. She left it there and I gave her a funny look while she said, “Now I’ve been inside of you while you’re a guy!”

I started cracking up before she removed her finger, but shortly after that, I was laughing away the events of the day and giving Twilight a good squishums. She gave as good as she got, and even though all I could smell was wine, I was pretty happy at the moment. Twilight dropped the barrier while we were still in the middle of an embrace, so Blue had some words to say.

“Twilight Sparkle, I don’t care if you two just made up: Get out of my home.” She said icily.

Twilight looked at me and I nodded. “I’ll see you at-” Was all I could get out before I started ascending rapidly, holding onto Twilight for dear life before I figured out what was going on.

I was still holding Twilight when we burst into a familiar room with two beige chairs. God, in the shape of chocolatey Neil Patrick Harris, gave me a little wave and made a third chair. “Hello Max, Twilight. It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?”

My wife looked at him, then at me, so I answered,. “It’s been a bit of a rough one so far, Capital G. What can I do for you?”

God gave me a smile. “Have a seat, first of all, and do let Miss Sparkle pick.”

I nodded. “Twilight, this is God. God, you already know my wife since I’m pretty sure you hooked me up with her.”

He grinned. “Oh no, you just got lucky. You could’ve ended up with Rainbow Dash for all I care.”

Twilight gasped. “You mean Max and I found each other by accident?”

“That all depends on your opinion concerning fate, dear Twilight. Please, won’t you have a seat?” He gestured to the considerably comfier looking chair.

Twilight tried to sit in the shitty folding one. “Ah, ah, ah! Max gets the hard one, you get the soft one.”

“So are you sexist or something, or do you just like Twilight?” I asked, feigning annoyance.

God chuckled. “I love most Equestrians since they tend to be innocent enough, and before you despoiled her, Twilight was one of the most innocent little Ponies on the whole planet.”

My wife blushed. “I’m not that innocent! I can be naughty!”

“Say sex.” God and I said in unison, raising a brow at each other.

“Shut up.” Twilight muttered, sitting down in the nice chair.

I scooted the metal one closer to her and sat down. “So Cap, I’ve got a couple questions for you.”

God nodded. “I did just pull you away from Equus for no discernible reason, so I suppose I owe you a couple.”

“Thanks, mate. My first one is why did you give me True Theft if you were going to have Hephaestus cut off my arm anyway?” I asked.

Twilight slowly turned to stare at me. “What.”

“Ah, so you figured that one out.” God chuckled. “It’s because I overestimated you, Maximus. I thought you would be able to grasp time itself before you went to fight Discord, but when I saw you trying to compile that little magical bomb of yours, I knew that you just didn’t have the right mind for it. Thus I gave you something that could knock out a middle ranked god, though I wasn’t one-hundred percent sure that Hephaestus would replace it. It was a gamble that paid off.”

“You gave Festus the order to cut off my husband’s fu-” I covered Twilight’s mouth.

“Please don’t smite her over that. She’s very protective, as you already know.” I asked politely.

“Oh, I’m tempted. Even you never raised your voice at me,” God said a little less than pleasantly. “However, I’m willing to let it slide. I am awfully forgiving after all.”

I nodded. “Thanks Cap.” I looked to Twilight who was looking at me, brows furrowed. “Cherry, if he wants to maim or kill you, I can’t do anything about it. Please hold your tongue.”

Her eyes widened and she nodded once, so I let her go. “... That wasn’t very nice, God. You really hurt Max.”

He shrugged. “I either hurt Max or hundreds of thousands of your people die in that war. I figured Max wouldn’t mind sacrificing an arm as much as your safety.”

Twilight didn’t look to happy about that, so I asked my other question. “So was Twilight’s potion some of your work, or was that just bad luck?”

“Bad luck. Purely bad luck, my young friend. Still, you got four new family members out of it, so you can’t really complain, can you?”

“I can, but I’m not going to because it’d be pointless. Last question: Why are we here?”

“Ah, that’s because I’m sending you on another little mission, but this time, I’m sending you somewhere fun!” He beamed brilliantly.

I bonked my head on the table a few times. “Why. Do. You. Hate. Me?”

“I could’ve made you do it alone.” God said drily.

I froze. “Please tell me that you’re not putting my wife’s life in danger.”

“Oh Hell no. I like Twilight. She’s one of my Favoured.”

“Which is different from being a Chosen?”

“Very. Good things happen to my favoured, bad things happen to the Chosen. This is actually the first time since I’ve started picking and choosing that a Favoured and a Chosen have married each other,.” God said proudly.

“So I get screwed and she gets kisses?”

“Essentially, though I wouldn’t put it in those terms.”

“Eh, it’s cool. As long as she’s the Favoured, I’m not complaining.”

“I wish I were the Chosen instead,.” Twilight said ruefully.

I took her hand and gave her a little smile. “If I were in your position, I’d say the same thing, but I’m not, so I’ll tell you that I’m not giving up my spot.”

“Stop suffering for me.” Twilight pouted.

“Maybe.” I looked to Capital G. “So what’s the mission, O Mighty Jehovah? If you’re not putting Twilight in danger, then I’m ready and willing to face this challenge with her.”

He scratched his chin, though I knew he was only doing it for show. “Well, before I tell you what the mission is, I want you to know that you’ll only be gone for a day on Equus if you accept it.”

“... I’m sensing one Hell of a catch.”

God smiled. “The catch is that, if you decline, the time you spend on the planet I’m sending you to is halved, but you’ll lose a year on Equus.”

“How much time are we supposed to spend on the new planet?” I asked.

“It’s to be determined.” He gave me a shit-eating grin.

I sighed. “We accept the mission.”

“Max, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Twilight asked nervously.

“No, but it’s better than losing a precious year with our friends and family.” I gave her a sad look. “Losing two years was absolutely horrible. At least he gave us a choice this time.”

“Well, you’re right… If the amount of time we spend there isn't determined yet anyway, then halving it means nothing since we don’t know what that means.” Twilight said soberly.

God clapped enthusiastically. “Smart girl! Do you want a cookie?”

“... What happens if I don’t say yes?” Twilight asked.

“You miss out on a God-given gift. I’d say yes.” I suggested.

“Okay. Can I have a cookie, God?”

He smiled and a plate of biscuits appeared in front of her. “Do take the top one, it’s still nice and gooey.”

My wife did take the top one, and when she bit into it, her eyes lit up. “Oh my gosh, this is better than Blue’s cookies!”

“Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here for eternity.” God chuckled.

“Oi, Capital G, I thought of another question.” I said, purposefully avoiding asking one.

“Ask away.” He invited.

“Why did you give me God Magic?”

“To see if you would get yourself sent to Hell.” He answered simply.

“Ah. Thanks for baiting me.”

“You already added three hundred years to your sentence, fool.” He said flatly.

“Granny Smith, Shining Armour, Lost Legacy.” I sighed.

“Yup, yes, and yep. Good guesses.”

I looked to Twilight. “See why you don't play God? He’s better at it than anyone else.”

“... I…” She still had some crumbs on her lips, so I licked them off for her.

“Yeah, won’t be doing that shit a fourth time, G. Wish you would’ve let me know that I was extending my stay in the pit, but you know. It’s cool but not cool.”

God shrugged. “Don’t worry about it too much and you’ll be fine. Are you ready to take your trip?”

“Sure thing.” I held onto Twilight’s hand.

He gave me an evil grin. “Oh yes, I almost forgot!” He snapped his fingers and I felt my God Magic leave me. “You’ll get that back when you come home.”

I touched my chest. “Feels weird not having it anymore, but then again, I never really wanted it in the first place.”

“It’s overpowered to say the least. Oh, and no, I didn’t forget, Twilight. I remember everything.”

“... That’s kinda scary. What happens if someone wrongs you?” She asked nervously.

“I either forgive them or smite them. Max messed with my plans, so I smited him a couple times. When you told him to stop killing, you messed with my plans, but I forgave you.” He smiled like he wasn’t playing favourites.

“... You’re really mean.” Twilight said softly.

“I’ll let that one slide since you said it quietly. And because it’s somewhat true, but I digress. Now, if you’d both rise, and Max, if you would mind holding your wife for a moment…” He trailed off.

I stood and offered Twilight my hand, so she stood too and let me hold her. “Alright you two, have a nice trip, see you next fall!” God jeered.

“Oh, come o-” I started before I was ever so tenderly thrown through a fucking window.

I don’t think I felt any glass enter my body, but Twilight screamed, clutching my shirt as we flew through the air until we hit the ground hard. I think we came through the window at an angle, but it didn’t matter to me that much since we bounced off of a floor and I was definitely feeling the steps we landed on. Other than being battered and bruised, I came out of the ordeal just fine, though I didn’t open my eyes until Twilight and I were at a full stop and the gasps ceased. When I did look around, I was in Canterlot, specifically the Court Hall in Canterlot. I’d been there enough times to recognize the architecture, but what confused me was that God had told us that we were going to a different planet.

“Excuse me, but are you two alright?” Celestia asked from above me.

I craned my neck to look up and saw a cartoon-looking Pony. It was white with a flowing pastel rainbow coloured mane and intelligent, caring magenta eyes. “Pony? Pony Pony?” I asked dumbly.

“I am a Pony, yes.” The talking Pony said patiently.

Twilight lifted her head from my chest. “Celestia?”

“Celestia’s a quadruped,.” I murmured.

“We Ponies do tend to have four legs and four hooves, yes.” The Princess said.

“Not her.” I pointed at Twilight.

“Not me,.” Twilight said.

Celestia looked at her. “You seem very familiar, but I can’t seem to say where I know you from, Miss…?”

“Twilight Sparkle.” My wife said. “Max, why is Celestia a quadruped?”

“I dunno.” I replied. “Different dimension, I’m guessing.”

Four-legged Celestia looked at me. “Wait, so you are my student, Twilight Sparkle, and another creature from a different universe?”

“Well, we’re at least from different planets.” I answered. “May I just say that you’re frankly adorable?”

“You may, but I don’t believe now is the time for flattery,.” Celestia admonished gently.

Twilight got off of me carefully, and once she had her footing- hoofing, I guess, she gave me a hand up. The two of us regarded Celestia as she looked at us. “... So you are a bipedal Pony and you are a…?” Celestia asked.

I extended a hand, hoping that the gesture was still the same on Ponyland Part Two. “Name’s Maximus, and I’m what’s known as a Human. Well, I’m an Alicorn, a god, and a Human, but I was just born as a Human.”

Celestia shook my hand by grabbing it with her hoof. I don’t know how the fuck she did that. “It’s nice to meet you, Maximus, but I must say that you don’t look like an Alicorn to me.”

“See, that’s what I said to my universe’s version of you, but she said that since I appeared in the Alicorn Realm and have Alicorn Magic that I’m one of you. It’s weird,.” I shrugged.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen that gesture from a bipedal race. What does it mean again?” Sunbutt asked.

“It’s kinda like ‘What can you do?’ or ‘Whatever’. How did you grab my hand with your hoof?”

Celestia looked at me strangely. “That’s just how hooves work, Maximus.”

“Please, call me Max, Sunbuns.” Twilight pinched me. “I might be a Prince, but the only time anyone uses my full name is when there’s some trouble stirring.”

“I used your full name earlier.” Twilight pointed out.

“And we were in the middle of clearing the air after an argument, so it was well warranted.”

Four-legged Celestia nodded. “Max it is then. I’m assuming that since you are a Prince, Twilight is a Princess?”

Twilight spread her wings. “I am. My Alicorn Magic is based on friendship.”

The white mare smiled. “A worthy Magic to be sure. May I ask what your Magic is, Max?”

I held up a hand and let some lightning arc between my fingers. “I don’t know for sure, but it’s a lot less useful than Twilight’s. All I can do is accidentally shock people.”

“You’ve done it on purpose too.” My wife said drily.

“I told you not to pull my ear!” I protested.

“My fingers were numb for hours!” Twilight faked indignation.

“And my ear hurt for the same amount of time. Kinda.” I huffed in a manly manner.

Celestia chuckled. “It wouldn’t be much of an assumption to say that you two are at least engaged, would it?”

“We’re actually married. It’s been seven months and twenty five days since our wedding day.” My wife beamed and I wrapped an arm around her, putting my hand on her waist.

“It’s always nice to see a happy young couple, but there are quite a few questions I have for you two.” Sunbutt said.

“We’ll answer them as best we can, Sunbuns.” I said solemnly, nodding like I was accepting my death.

Twilight nudged me with her shoulder. “Stop giving inappropriate nicknames to royalty.”

Celestia looked at Twilight. “I don’t understand.”

“He’s talking about your Cutie Marks,.” Twilight said, blushing.

She looked back at them. “Yes, I see that they are a pair of Suns. I don’t understand how it’s inappropriate.”

“In Pony words, I’m saying you have a big flank and that you have Suns on your butt. I actually call our Celestia ‘Sunbutt’.” I said plainly.

Celestia blushed lightly. “That’s rather inappropriate.”

“Oi, I’m pretty sure that ‘stallions’ like a ‘mare’ with a little more ‘flank’ to go around.” I said comfortingly.

She gave me a look. “No mare wants to be told that her rear is big.”

“I don’t know if it’s actually big. Let me grab a handful and we’ll-” Twilight pinched my side. “Ow! I’m kidding, Cherry!”

“You sure didn’t sound like it.” Twilight said blandly.

Celestia’s blush stayed on her face. “I suppose I should take solace in the fact that a married stallion wants a handful of my flank and is willing to risk his wife’s scorn for it.”

“If that’s what you want to tell yourself, I won’t stop you.” I said casually.

“Are you trying to get pinched?” Twilight asked.

“Love you, my perfect little Pony Princess~” I gave her a kiss on her cheek.

Twilight returned the affectionate gesture. “I’ll still pinch you, ‘mate’.” She said, mimicking my ‘accent’ adorably.

“Are you trying to get pinched yourself?” I joked.

“Shush! Celestia has questions!”

We looked to Celestia who seemed pretty amused. “We can talk elsewhere if you’d like. Day Court could bear to be closed down for the weekend.”

Twilight and I looked at each other. She nodded, so I nodded. “Sure thing. Feel free to teleport us wherever you want to go.” I said.

Four-legged Celestia smiled. “I’ll take you up on that offer.” Her horn flashed and we appeared in a room with some sofas and some chairs that didn't seem like a four-legged Pony would ever have a reason to sit in. “Please, have a seat where you’d like. I’ll have some tea made and we can have ourselves a nice talk.”

“That would be lovely, thank you.” Twilight replied pleasantly. She held my hand and tugged me over to a couch that sat across from another.

When we sat down, Celestia’s horn lit up and she sat on the couch across from us, lounging like I assumed most Ponies had to. “So, as I said, I have a few questions.”

“We don’t know why we’re here.” I stated plainly. “A being far more powerful than Discord several times over sent us here on a mission of sorts, but we don’t know what that mission is or why he sent us here to do it. We do know, however, that we’re here to help you with something or other, so if you need anyone friendshipped or shocked, let us know.” I gave her an easy smile.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard friendship used as a verb before.” Celestia chuckled.

“Max is a little on the strange side, but I love him for it.” Twilight squeezed my hand. “I’m sure you have many more questions about what’s going on.”

“Just a few. I would like to know if Humans were a native species on your Equis seeing as how I’ve never come across them in my entire long life.”

“Well, I actually come from a planet called Earth. This isn’t the first time I’ve been displaced from my homeworld.” I sighed. “Hopefully it’ll be the last, but you never know.”

“Oh? So what was Earth like?” Sunbuns asked.

“When I last left it? It was better. A lot better. Before I pulled some seriously evil shit,” Celestia stared at me, “My home world had far more than its fair share or rapists, murderers, thieves, and all around bad people. When I had Dark Magic, I gave an edict and used a popular medium to change the minds of millions of people so that they would act more like Ponies, using my Celestia’s teachings as the guidelines for my efforts. It turned my world into a better place, but it was an evil thing to do.”

“... You forced your fellow Humans to be better ponies?” She asked softly.

“Only the worst of the worst. For the general populace, I used my Dark Magic in a way that would give them a choice.”

“I’m proud of him.” Twilight beamed. “I don’t really see it as being any different than using my Friendship Magic to make two angry people be nice to each other.”

Quadruped Celestia looked at me for a long, hard moment and the tea came, brought by a Unicorn servant happily trotting along. She thank her and waited until she was out of the room to ask, “You don’t still have Dark Magic, do you?”

“No. The being that was helping me keep it in check took a piece of her soul away from me, so I removed all traces of Dark Magic from my body before it could corrupt me again. I committed a heinous crime while I was under its influence, so I think it’s for the best if I never let it into my body again…” I trailed off. “Fucking shit.”

“What’s wrong, Amour?” Twilight asked.

“I’ve gotta get the Traitor out of Luna.” I said bitterly. “I can’t just let her be stuck inside of her with Nightmare Moon while Luna’s unaware of the danger she’s in.”

Celestia spit out her tea. “Wbat!? Nightmare Moon is not my sister. Maximus, I assure you!”

I nodded. “I know that for a fact, Celestia. I’ve met Nightmare Moon and her sister. Nightmare Moon is actually an Alicorn older than yourself.”

“... You mean Nightmare Moon is a separate being entirely? I thought that she was just the personification of Luna’s jealousy and Dark Magic.” Sunbuns said breathlessly.

“No, Luna is harboring the souls of two ancient Alicorns. One of them is benign unless you count her interactions with me. She’s a little bit acerbic at times, but I’ll make her fall in line once I save her. The only thing I need is Luna’s cooperation and the Alicorn Amulet, and I can get you a ‘pony’ worthy of being one of your Generals since she has thousands of years worth of training in war. She’ll need some memories to learn how to treat people in the modern era, but she’ll be invaluable should Equestria need her.”

“What do you mean when you say that she’s friendly except for her time with you?” Celestia asked slowly.

Twilight took over. “The woman in question essentially tortured Max to turn him into the perfect soldier, and then she stabbed him in the back for something he didn’t know was wrong. She’s not evil by any stretch of the imagination, she’s just harsh and brutal.”

“Swear her in with some magical oaths and you’ll be fine.” I said simply.

Celestia blinked a couple of times. “... So you’re offering me another Alicorn who will be loyal to Equestria?”

“She’ll owe me her loyalty first, but I promise I’ll ask her to follow your reasonable commands.” I swore.

She frowned. “You’re asking me to put an ancient being who’s beholden to you above all others-”

“No, I’m promising to ask her to be loyal to you before me. I’m just saying that it’s not going to work out like that because I know her too well to believe anything different. She’ll listen to me over you anyway, but I won’t contradict you unless I feel like you’re trying to hurt myself or my wife.”

“... Why would you do that for me?” Celestia asked, befuddled. “It makes no sense for you to want to help me unless you want something in return.”

I raised a brow. “I’m a Prince just like you’re a Princess. I want to help you so I can prepare you for the future because I know what getting blindsided is like. Cast a truth spell and I’ll say the same thing in a different way so I don’t have to repeat myself. As for what I want, I wouldn’t mind a place to stay and some coins in my pocket so I can provide for Twilight, unless you want to give me a task or something so I can earn it. I’m very useful.”

“And I’m not?” Twilight asked in mock indignation.

“You weren’t an Operative.” I kissed her cheek. “You're too cute and cuddly to be as versatile as I am when it comes to Spec and Black Ops.”

Celestia gasped. “You, a Prince, were an Operative?”

“Eeyup. If I had my knife on me, I’d show you my Seals…” I reached through the dimensions and found it. “Ah, here we go! This means we can leave whenever we want, though.” I said to Twilight.

“I think Capital G would be upset if we did.” My wife responded.

“Which is why we’re not going to risk it.” I flashed Celestia my Seals. “So do you have anything that needs to be done before I get Nightmare Moon and her sister out of Luna? Well, I’m sure that’s your top priority, so what do you need done after that?”

Celestia shook her head slowly. “There’s… I… You’ve given me a lot of information to process, Maximus.”

“I tend to do that. At least you don’t have a headache.” I smiled.

She looked at me. “I have a throbbing migraine.”

Twilight hissed. “Ooh, I can fix that, if you want.”

“Please do.”

Twilight went over and touched her horn to Celestia’s, healing her pretty quickly. “How do you feel?”

“Much better. I must say, you are very trustworthy. Some ponies in your position might have tried something unsavoury.” Celestia complimented.

“Well, Max and I are pretty sure that we’re here to help you, one way or another, so it’s not like we’re going to try and do anything to hurt you. That being said, if you double cross us for some silly reason, I’m going to let Max kill you.” Twilight said. “We promise to never hurt you, but we need you to promise that you won’t betray the trust we’re putting in you.”

Celestia stared at her. “... My Twilight would have never said something like that.”

“Your Twilight didn’t have to watch her husband go to war.” My wife said sadly.

Celestia’s gaze shifted to me. “You were a soldier?”

I nodded. “I’ve ended a lot of lives, and I’d rather not talk about it. It’s a sketchy subject that always puts me in a bad mood.” Twilight rejoined me on our sofa and held my hand.

“... I’ve known many soldiers who feel the same way, but I need to know if you’d be willing to take another life.” She asked quietly.

“King Adolf?” I asked.

“... That’s very disconcerting.”

“It should be. I know a lot more about you and the way you operate than you do about me. I’ll bring Adolf to you and you can slay him yourself, but I can’t just up and kill him. My beloved might not be holding me to a certain promise anymore, but I’d rather not kill the man twice.”

“Understandable, though I’ll have to ask you about that story.” Celestia said, implkying that she wanted to hear about it.

I gave her the long version and included the mental strain it had caused me and she nodded slowly when I finished. “I see why you’re hesitant to take another life. Bring Adolf to myself or Luna and we’ll take care of him.”

“Will do, Celly.” I said resolutely.

She gave me an odd look. “It’s odd that you’re so willing to use nicknames when you know my real name.”

“I also know you as Sola.” I commented.

Her eyes widened in shock. “Did your Celestia tell you that name?”

“No, my mentor, Nightmare Moon’s sister said it once. I just never forgot it.”

“Perhaps we’ll refer to your Celestia as Sola from now on?”

“Sola it is.” I said.

Celestia nodded. “When do you want to leave for the mission?”

I looked to Twilight and her eyes were begging me for a kiss, so I gave her a good one. “I can leave soon, but not right now unless you want to teleport me into Otterwa with a few Gryphonian marks. If you give me a disguise and teleport me, I can do it now.”

“But Max-” Twilight protested.

“It wouldn’t take more than a couple of hours, Twilight. I work fast when I already know what I’m supposed to do and how to do it.” I assured her.

“... I don’t like you putting your life in danger-”

“I’m immortal, Cherry.”

She sighed. “I always forget about that. If you think you can get it done better than anyone else…”

“I do. I’m not going to jinx myself because I’m not stupid,” I knocked on the wooden table anyway, “but I do know what I’m doing.”

Celestia coughed. “I can get you a disguise and right next to Adolf himself. All you need to do is bring him to me.”

“Twilight doesn't need to be present for any of this.” I said firmly.

My wife squeezed my arm. “Thank you, Amour.”

“No problem, Cherry.”

Celestia nodded. “As you wish. Would you like to take care of king Adolf first, or would you like to rouse Luna from her slumber?”

“We can wait until nightfall to bother Luna. I know she’s cranky when she gets woken up.” I understated.

The quadruped nodded. “Cranky isn’t really the word for it, but I assume she wouldn’t mind getting woken up to hear that somepony succeeded where she herself has failed.”

“Well, the Luna in our world felt guilty for making me do her job, so I’ll just give her a hug when I see her or something.” I said casually. “I want to hug you since you look soft and squishable, but I think that would be a little too forward.”

Celestia gave me an odd look. “A soldier and former Operative who is fond of hugs?”

Twilight hugged me and I hugged her back. “I’ve made Max see the power of hugs many times before. Can I have a hug, Celestia?”

She blinked. “Well, I suppose I have no reason to say no, now do I?”

“Not unless you hate token actions of affection, no.” I said, shaking my head.

Twilight stood up and Celestia rose from her sofa to meet on the side of the table for a lovely little hug. I don’t think horse legs were supposed to bend like Celestia’s were, but when I came in for my hug, it was fucking sweet. She was warm, squishable, and smelled strongly of vanilla. It didn’t hurt that Celestia’s long neck meant that there was plenty to hug, though it did kinda feel like I was doing it to strangle her. When I let go of Celestia, I looked down at her. I should mention that, without her horn, she was only as tall as Twilight, but with her horn, she was close to being as tall as I am. On her back hooves, she would probably be a good deal taller than me.

After we got our hugs, we agreed to wait to send me to Gryphonia until the next day and talk some more about Twilight’s home planet, and then we moved onto mine for a little bit. Celestia was terribly interested in both, and for hours upon hours we talked about Equus and Earth between the three of us. Celestia asked if Twilight would mind heading to Ponyville while I was gone so that she could talk to this world’s version of Twilight Sparkle, wizard extraordinaire, and fill her in on the differences between the worlds. Apparently the main one was that Discord wasn’t evil and that the Alicorns had simply never been an established race. In this world, Celestia, Luna, and Cadance were the only three Ponies who’d ever ascended into becoming Alicorns, though I made Celestia admit that she’d planned for Twilight to become an Alicorn all along. My Twilight said that she was going to remember that for when she got to talk to our Celestia about it, but it was a thing for some time in the future.

Celestia assured us that we would have quarters in her wing of the Castle, specifically the nicest room in that wing since she felt the need to treat us well to keep us as allies, though when she said that, Twilight and Ii both assured her that we would accept living in the other Twilight’s guest room as long as we got to stay together, given we could clean the place up a little bit. Sunbuns said that we would be treated as kindly as we cared to be as long as we kept our promises, but Twilight and I had no intention of breaking them since Celestia was far more valuable as an ally than an enemy, and I said as much.

While we were being frank with each other, Twilight took a break to go to the loo since she couldn’t hold her tea. When she was out of the room, Celestia had some personal questions for me. “Max, may I get a little frank with you? I mean, I’d like to ask you a certain question.”

“Ask away, love. Don’t hold back.” I sipped my deliciously strong tea.

“Are you and Twilight in an open relationship? It would definitely seem so with as much as you’ve been flirting with me.” Celestia said calmly.

“I’ve been flirting? Sorry if it bothers you, I kinda just do that with pleasant people and royalty in general, and you happen to be both. I assure you that I’m not going to try and sneak into your room or anything, if that’s why you’re asking.” I said honestly.

“I wish you would.” Celestia muttered under her breath, shocking the shit out of me. Louder, she said, “I was just curious. Twilight seems to let you do as you please for the most part.”

“Well, she reins me in when I start getting out there, but she also just understands the way I am. She’s been doing her best to learn about me and grow alongside me so that we’re better for each other. We have some rules in place that we follow so that we don’t hurt each other more than necessary, but we generally don’t need reminders unless someone’s just having a bad day.”

“Rules in an open relationship are to be expected. What are some of yours?” Celestia asked neutrally.

“Well, if either of us want to see someone else, the other has to meet them and approve of them before anything other than kissing happens. I’ve broken that rule once or twice, but the first time was to save my life, and the second time, I was licking a fragment of my soul that became her own person, so Twilight didn’t really care.” I explained. “Another is that there’s a three day limit on holding out on one another, and that if we get especially intimate, then there’s no stopping in the middle of it to be spiteful.”

“Reasonable rules, to be sure.” She commented. “Surely there are more?”

“Don’t call me Shirley, but there are a few more minor ones like mandatory kisses in the morning and at night, regardless of how we’re feeling, and a mandatory hug before we go and do our daily duties. There’s also a rule for Twilight that basically states that she’ll call herself beautiful; in the mirror every morning until she believes it, which is still a work in progress, but I hold her to it-”

“Why would you force Twilight to call herself beautiful?” Celestia asked.

“Because she is, and her self-esteem could use the boost. It hurts to know that the woman I love most above any other being doesn't think she’s stunning or worthy of my love, so I’m trying to boost her self-confidence to the point where she thinks she’s good enough for me.” I expounded.

“Do you think you’re good enough for Twilight?” Celestia asked, brow raised.

“I’ve been violated more times than I’d like to count, killed more people than I’d like to admit, and hurt her more times than I can forgive myself for. I will never be good enough for Twilight, but I can continue to try my damnedest to get there.”

Celestia gave me a look of pity. “You’ve been raped before?”

“On my planet and on Twilight’s. It only happened once on Equus, but before I got out of puberty, it happened quite a few times. My life kinda sucks except for Twilight.” I sipped my tea.

“I would agree. Maybe that’s the reason you were able to become a soldier?”

“No, I became an Operative out of love for Sola, but when she stabbed me in the back and I lost my will to live, I started living for Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy because I felt their love. When I finally confessed to Luna about the time I was simultaneously raped and tortured, Twilight was there for me in the aftermath and I started living for her, which gave me the mindset that would allow me to do anything to protect her, though the Dark Magic that was fused into my soul didn’t hurt at all.”

“... So love and evil made you into a killing machine?”

“... If you wanna hurt my feelings, then yeah, you can say that.” I said softly.

“I doubt something like that would mar a soldier’s heart.” Celestia said dubiously.

I looked her in the eye until she averted her gaze. “... I see. Your heart isn’t as cold towards yourself as I might have thought.”

“There’s still a redeemable piece of me, Celestia. I hold onto the hope that I can bring that piece to the surface and keep it there, but it’s not an easy task.”

“I trust that you will find a way, if not for yourself, then for Twilight.” Celestia gave me a warm smile.

I smirked. “I try to make the things I do for Twilight.” I grabbed a bottle of bourbon from my liquor closet and a couple tumblers from my crystal cabinet. “Would you care to imbibe? A glass or two won’t get you drunk.”

Celestia eyed the bottle hungrily. “I really shouldn’t.”

“If it’s a problem for you, I can take care of it.” I offered.

“There’s a reason Equestria is a dry country, Max.” She said cautiously.

I nearly dropped the bottle in shock. “You fucking what?”

She dragged her eyes away from the bottle and looked at me. “Luna and I once went on a three week long spree as males and had many illegitimate children. They passed away before we ever even heard the tale of the drunken incubi who’d given dozens of mares an incredible night of passion before leaving in the morning, but when we heard of the tale, we knew that it was us. Ever since then, Equestria has been alcohol free.”

“... I kind of want to get you drunk to see what happens next.” I mused.

“You’d appreciate it if you’re sober enough to know what’s going on.” Celestia said drily. “But, as you said, a couple of glasses won’t kill anypony, though I would ask that you share a drink with Luna as well.”

“Happily. Drinking is best done in good company after all.” I said, ignoring the fact that a horse said that she’d fuck me if I got her drunk.

“I see you’ve chosen not to respond to a part of my response.” Celestia mentioned offhandedly. “However, I do agree with your view on drinking. I’d also add that it’s best done in moderation.”

“I didn’t reply to that because I don't want to be a drunken mistake,” I poured us both a decent glass. “Say, you wouldn’t happen to-” She teleported a few ice cubes into the glasses. “Nevermind.”

She levitated one of the glasses over to her and took a sip. “Ah~ How I missed the burn.”

I gave her a grin and asked, “We’re finishing this bottle with Luna, aren’t we?”

“It’s not like a bottle split three ways is going to get anyone drunk.” Celestia replied airily.

“Ah-ha! You finally slipped up.” I grinned widely.

Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “You’re a carnivore?”

“Omnivore, but you finally said any’one’!”

“Shoot. On both of those, actually.” She made a long face. Get it? Because she’s a-

You know what? Go fuck yourself if you didn't get a giggle out of that and doubly so if you didn't get it at all.

“I can live without meat, though it’s a little hard. It’s also pretty smelly. Speaking of things, can you please use the inclusive words around Twilight and I? We prefer the terms ‘anyone’ and ‘everyone’ and things like that.” I requested.

“I have a Cow chef that can make pretty much anything regarding meat since she’s insane, but she’s good at her craft and our visiting ambassadors and royalty always send their compliments.” Celestia said, giving me a reason to sigh in relief. “As for the inclusive terms, I wouldn’t mind using them and I know Luna herself prefers them over the Pony words.”

“Thanks love, both of those are much appreciated.” I sipped on my drink, letting the flavours swirl around on my tongue.

“I’m sure they are, just don’t let my little Ponies know that you consume flesh. I personally have no issue with it, but they will often find it repulsive.”

“Duly noted. Can I still threaten to eat them?” I smiled.

“You can, but don’t actually bite anyone.”

I used my True Theft to teleport to Celestia’s side so I could bite her neck, but she gasped, which turned into a moan, surprising the fuck out of me. I let her go and she was giving me a look that promised something I really wasn’t feeling. “I don't suggest you do that until you have your wife’s permission.”

“I didn't know it would be a turn on. My apologies.”

Celestia rose from her sofa and walked a few meters before stopping. “Are you going to come along, or am I going to be walking by myself?”

“... Shouldn't we at least write Twilight a note?” I asked.

She swished her tail and I saw a lot more than I would’ve liked before she magicked up a quill, an inkpot, and some paper that looked more like parchment. She scribbled aout a quick, tidy little note and sent it off before swishing her tail again. “Note written. Let’s take this walk, shall we?”

At least the quote-unquote requote-dequote ‘goods’ didn’t look like horse pussy. I shiver as I write.

“... Yeah…” I jogged and got next to Celestia so I wouldn’t have to walk behind her.

She turned and raised a brow at me. “People are going to start rumors if they see you
walking by my side as an equal.”

“Well, I wasn’t really planning on letting you flash me a third time.” I said, scratching my head.

The brow stayed raised. “Most stallions would jump at the opportunity.”

“I don’t think I’m into quadrupeds.” I replied, my voice going up an octave due to my discomfort.

She chuckled. “We’ll see how you feel by the end of the week.” She hit me with her tail and I felt some very unwelcome things start crawling down my trousers.

“I’ve been smelling your pheromones since we Twilight left the room.” I commented.

“Really? I thought you said that Human senses were weaker than Pony senses by far.”

“My senses are better than any Pony’s.” I drew the Warbling blade and cut her little probes.

She frowned. “Why did you draw your blade?”

“Why are you molesting me?” I retorted.

“I’m not molesting you.” Celestia said truthfully.

“Yeah, that’s because I cut your freaky Magic mane. Sola used to pull the same shit before we broke up.” I said as Celestia started walking out of the room.

“Oh? You dated the bipedal version of me? What happened to make us break things off?”

“Sola violated my mind.” I replied softly.

“... Oh.”

“Yeah. She wiped my memory a few times, but didn’t do it when it counted. I caught her the last time she tried and nearly broke her hand because of it, but that was when we agreed to separate and stay out of each other’s lives. Then she made me a Baron and forced me to stay in Equestria through magical oaths.” I said bitterly.

“... I’d like to think that you would’ve chosen to stay anyway.” Celestia murmured.

“I would’ve, but she still trapped me. I resent her for that and she damn well knows it.”

“Do you know how long you are to stay on my world?” She asked.

“No clue.”

“... I would not make the same mistakes as Sola.”

“I know. You’d maike different ones for the same reasons, but frankly, I’m not going to give you the chance. I’d like to be your friend, but being your lover is too dangerous. For both of us, not just me.” I said not unkindly.

“What threat do you pose to me that you wouldn’t pose to Twilight?” She asked, confused.

“I’m bound to Twilight through something called The Covenant. I could never hurt Twilight on purpose, but I don’t know if I would love you enough to stay my hand should you ever make a real mistake. It’s not worth the risk of killing you permanently.”

“... You can do that?”

“I killed Discord on Equus. It’s well within my scope.”

“You are a truly worthy ally, in that case. I’m glad that you’ve given me an opportunity to earn your loyalty.”

“You’ll have it for as long as you can manage to keep it. I’m expecting you to slip up since you’re not perfect, but don't think I’m analyzing your every move, because I won’t.” I lied. “I trust Sola, therefore I trust you.”

“Well, it’s nice to know that you can still trust after being betrayed by a lover.” Celestia said softly. “I suppose that wound has healed?”

“It’s left a scar, but it has healed. Sadly, not all scars fade back to the flesh.”

“I don’t know how long it has been since that event occurred, but I do assure you that the scar will heal as well, though the lesson will stay with you. I speak-”

“From experience, yeah. What time is it?” I asked.

Celestia closed her eyes and her horn lit up. “I was supposed to set the Sun ten minutes ago. Would you like to see how I do it, rather than how Sola does it? I’m sure you’ll appreciate the spectacle.” She whacked me with her tail again, though this time, it visibly coiled around me.

“... Yeah, but aren’t you leaving your rear open to observation?”

“My servants know better, my guards know better, and I have a privacy spell that allows me to appear as though nothing’s there. It keeps my little Ponies from lusting after me hopelessly should they ever be trying to catch a glimpse.” She said proudly.

“But you’ll let a near stranger have a look.” I said doubtfully. “I saw that plug.”

“You were meant to. Tell me, do you not find me attractive? You said it yourself that I’m, and I quote, ‘frankly adorable’.”

“I find you cute and majestic, but I have a quadrupedal sister, and it just seems wrong for me to look at your privates, even while invited.”

“I assure you that we are not related in any way.” Celestia said neutrally.

I just don’t wanna fuck an animal, dammit. “Be that as it may, I just don’t think I’m up for it, Celestia. I mean no offense, but I’d rather stick to Twilight while I’m here.”

She levitated me and positioned me in front of her before gazing into my eyes. “I respect that, Maximus-” I kissed her nose. “Okay. Like I said, I respect that, but do know that, barring any ridiculousness or mistakes on your part, that I am open to a night of passion with you.”

“I’ll give it some consideration.” I said truthfully.

“You’re already done considering.” Celestia said blandly.

“I never said how long I’d consider it.” I replied.

She dropped me back onto my feet and continued walking, making sure to look back and swish her tail one more time. I gave her a look for making me look and she just smiled. “I must say, teasing you is fun.”

“It’s only teasing if I’m trying to fuck you and you’re holding out on me.” I replied flatly.

Celestia rolled her eyes. “You’re just making yourself seem like a challenge.”

“Don’t test me, woman. I’ll coat your plugs in hot sauce.” I warned.

She chuckled and waited for me to get next to her to continue walking. “You really are a treat, Maximus. Rare is the occasion where I have someone who cares so little about my status as you do, and even rarer is the person who disrespects me in such a way able to fight back.”

“The first part is what drew Sola to me in the first place. My flippancy with people I should be respecting is legendary.” I chuckled.

“Be sure to be every bit as flippant with Luna. I’d love to hear her shout ‘Insolence!’ or something of the sort.”

“You’re evil, and I totally dig it. I’ll be sure to get extra touchy feely with her.”

Celestia looked at me, her eyes sparkling. “I’ll give you five thousand bits to grab her flank if you can get away with it.”

I stopped, facing her and she stopped along with me. “Truly? You’ll really give me five thousand bits for molesting your sister without getting caught?”

“I’ll double the about if you can touch her teats.” Celestia’s eyes shone.

“Shake on it.” I extended a hand.

She shook it with her hoof. “We have a deal?”

“Deal indeed.” Twilight teleported in. “Good timing, Cherry.”

She smiled as Celestia giggled. Twilight looked at her and raised a brow at me. “Is there something I should know about?”

“Celly offered to make us rich if I fondled Luna without getting caught.” I said cheekily.

“How much did you two bet?”

“Ten thousand bits.” Celestia replied. “I’d be willing to raise the stakes even higher if Max was willing to risk his immortality.”

“All he has to do is not get caught, right?” Twilight asked with a little smile.

“Oh, Luna is far more astute that you might think, Twilight. It’ll be quite the task for Max to get close enough to her flank to grab it, and touching her teats will be impossible!” Celestia giggled. “I do look forward to seeing how you’ll manage.”

Twilight and I traded a look. “You have my permission to go further than that, if you want to earn us some more living money.” My wife said casually.

I grinned evilly and looked at Celestia. “What will you give me if I can slip a finger inside of Luna?”

She blushed and her jaw dropped before she started giggling like mad. “I’ll have my steward look into some prime real estate here in Canterlot for you if you can manage that. There’s a villa that recently came up for sale and it’s one of the most hotly contested pieces of property in the country right now, though the bidding war has faltered around twenty thousand bits. If you can tell me what Luna tastes like, I’ll add another ten thousand to our original bet.”

I looked at Twilight who beamed at me. “I don’t want to taste Luna.”

She gave me an odd look. “Why not? You’ve tasted our Luna before.” Are you fucking serious?

“... Would you like to do it?” I asked.

Twilight looked at Celestia who shook her head. “I would rather not have the alternate version of my surrogate daughter tasting my sister.”

Twilight looked at me. “It’s weird if I do it. Celestia agrees with me.”

“I can wash my hands, but I can’t wash my mouth.” I said firmly. “I’ll slip a finger in the other entrance though.”

Celestia howled with honest laughter and teleported us to a room I’d never been before even on Equus. She was still laughing as her body was coated in her Magic and we saw through the large, plain window that the Sun was beginning to set as Celestia rose through the air. She still giggled while she lowered the Sun, and when she touched down, she came up to Twilight and I.

“Alright, five thousand for both of her teats, another five per each side of her flank you grab, ten thousand for a finger inside of her private area, and another ten for slipping a finger into her rosebud. If you can complete all of these, we’ll round up and I’ll make you one of the richest couples in Equestria at fifty thousand bits. Do keep in mind that all of these bits will come from my personal treasury, so don’t worry about taking tax money from my little Ponies. Do we have a deal, Maximus?” Celestia extended her hoof once more.

I smirked and shook her hoof. “You just made a deal with the Devil himself. Can you teleport us to Luna?”

Celestia grinned evilly. “You’ll get hurt if you try to do it while she’s sleeping.”

“Oh, I just want to visit her before I start doing anything. I don’t want our first meeting to be the one where I fondle her, after all.” I said slyly.

The literal mare shook her mane excitedly. “Oh, this is going to be fun! I can’t wait to see how you manage all of this!” Her horn lit up and we were instantly in Luna’s room. The woman was still asleep, so I had Celestia take us back to the room we’d talked in.

“That’s all I needed.” I laughed darkly and Celestia started looking worried. “Twilight?”

“Yes Bread Winner~?” She cooed.

“You know the drill. It’s Prank Time.” I chuckled grimly.

“... What?” Celestia asked as Twilight began her scrying spell.

“All I needed was to see her. You just gave me the second easiest fifty-thousand bits of my life.” I shook my head.

The picture cleared up after a second or two and thus we could see Luna snoozing away in her bed. “... Maximus, why are you scrying my sister?” Celestia asked cautiously.

I looked her in the eye and raised my left hand before thrusting it through the dimensions, touching Luna’s surprisingly soft arse first. Celestia’s jaw dropped and she face… Hoofed? She face-hoofed. “At least it’ll be worth it to watch Luna-”

The woman in question jolted awake in bed as I roughly squeezed her flank. “Unhoof me, deviant!” She shouted in the Royal Canterlot Voice. Luna scrambled to get the covers off of her, so I pulled my hand back and waited to grab the other side of her rear. “Insolent knave! Thou shalt not leave without thine welts!” She cast some kind of spell, but nothing happened, so she cast a shield spell.

Celestia was having herself a giggle alongside Twilight. “It’s worth every bit so far!” The white mare guffawed. “Please tell me that you have a way of getting past her shield!”

I gave her a confident look and reached through space. I was pretty sure that horse teats were around the crotch, so I let my hand slide down Luna’s barrel barrel until I found her crotch-tits and fondled them until I felt her nipples get hard. “Th-Thou- Pervert! Deviant! Fiend! Barbarian!” I let my fingers go a bit further south. “S-S-S-Stop!” She cried.

I took my hand back and looked at Celestia and Twilight. Celestia was wiping away tears with her hoof and Twilight was doubled over, so I asked, “Should I stop?”

“No!” They chorused.

“You have my full permission to do as you see fit!” Celestia’s eyes widened. “If you make her taste herself, I’ll give both of you titles!”

Twilight and I looked at each other. “I’d do it for shits and giggles, to be honest. I don't’ want a title again.” I said.

“I’d like one, so please do that.” Twilight requested.

“As you wish, my love.” I grinned deviously and sent my hand back through the dimensions.

Luna was pacing across her room, visibly disturbed when I slipped a finger into her lady parts, making her stop cold and look behind her. “... We are going to kill you.” She said in a low, level voice

Celestia gasped for air. “Ah! Now the other entrance!”

I complied and Luna’s face lit up bright red, tears forming in her eyes. “The indignity of being molested by a poltergeist! We will exorcise you, demon! Be well aware of this!”

I had myself a good giggle. “God, I wish I was getting paid per finger for this!”

“Use two to make her taste herself!” Twilight suggested through her laughter.

“Great idea, Cherry!” I slipped two fingers into Luna’s not-quite tight, not-quite-loose privates and then put them in her mouth, making sure to avoid her teeth entirely. I rubbed my fingers all around her mouth to make sure she would savour the flavour.

Celestia watched at her cheeks bulged and lost her shit completely, snorting once or twice as tears streamed down her face. “Oh dear Heavens! Stop! Stop before I hurt myself!”

I left Luna alone as she shook in place, her face a mask of fury and Twilight let the scrying spell fade. “Oh Amour! That was the best prank yet!”

I laughed along with the other women and started walking over to the sofas and inn table thing when we heard Luna shout, “CELESTIA!” from across the fucking Castle. It shook the windows through the stone walls.

The white mare straightened her face immediately, I took a second, and I had to pinch Twilight a little too hard to make her stop laughing, but that got me pinched back and earned me a mean look. “Luna’s coming.” I explained quickly.

True to my word, Luna was there the moment I finished the last syllable. “Sister.” Luna said lethally, not even looking at Twilight and I. “We have a problem.”

Celestia had her game face on. “What do you mean, Luna? Surely it isn’t enough to be rude to our new guests.”

Luna glanced at us. “It is.”

“Don’t tell me you blew up another toaster.” Celestia sighed.

Luna blushed. “No! We would not trouble you over such matters… Again.” She added quietly. “No, there is a perverted spirit roaming the Castle!”

“... Please don’t tell me you were fondled by a ghost.” Celestia said breathlessly.

Luna glanced at my wife and I again. “We will speak, but not in front of our guests.”

Celestia nodded. “Before we go, Maximus, the stallion, has agreed to deal with Adolf for us. Twilight Sparkle, the mare, is an alternate version of my student from another universe. She will be staying with us for the duration of Max’s mission.”

“... I do not see how he could succeed where even I have failed.” Luna said scornfully.

“I assure you, Lulu, that I’ll get Adolf here to either you or Celestia so you can take care of business. I’ve done it on my Equus and I can do it here.” I smirked.

Her lip curled. “Do not call us ‘Lulu’, plebeian.”

I raised a brow at her. “I’m a Prince, love.”

“Prove it.” She hissed.

“How about you take your desire to have a pissing contest elsewhere? I haven’t done a thing to you, so your hostility is unwarranted.” I said calmly.

She looked down her nose at me. “I will do as I-”

“Celestia, take this little cunt out of here before I break her Goddamn neck.” I requested. The feeling of my wings spreading came back.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate it when people look down on me? Like, I understand that there are better people out there than me, but don't fucking condescend to me.

Luna blinked and lowered her head. “... Another Alicorn?”

“Yes, sister. Let us talk elsewhere while Maximus cools down, yes?” Celestia said.

“I will not be cowed-” Luna started darkly.

Twilight stood in front of me, facing Luna and Celestia. “Let it go, Amour. It’s not that serious.”

“... Fucking whatever.” I snarled, wrapping my arms around her and maneuvering my face through her wings.

“Thank you.” She said as Celestia and Luna teleported out. “I realize that you could’ve hurt Luna if you wanted to, but thank you for your restraint.”

“Wouldn’t have done us any favours.” I murmured into her neck.

Twilight ran her fingers through my hair. “Let’s have a seat, okay? I’m sure we’d have enough time for a favour if you want.”

“Is sex all you can think about today?” I asked, trying to joke around a bit.

“Well, it was on my mind this morning and it’s been floating around my head all day.” She admitted bashfully. “Is it so wrong for me to want to have snacks with my husband?”

“Nope. We’ll have all the snacks you want later.” I kissed her neck and she shivered.

“You’re starting a little early, Amour.” She said, though I doubted that she minded.

“The only. Thing that. Can come. Too early. Is the. Custard.” I murmured, pressing my lips to her fur in between every other word, working my way to her jaw.

Twilight’s wings moved a bit to let me come closer, so I moved my arms to sit under her breasts, holding them up along with her undergarment. “Somepony walking in while we’re warming up would be too early.” She purred.

“Wanna have sex on Luna’s bed while she’s in Night Court?” I asked.

“Max! You deviant!” Twilight giggled.

“That’s not a no~” I crooned.

“I love your prankery sometimes, but that’s a little far.” She admonished gently.

“Ah, if you say so. I’ll cave easy on this one.”

“Easily.” She corrected.

“I’ll stick a finger in your butt.” I warned.

“... Which one?” Twilight asked.

“Right index.”

“... Maybe we could try it?” My wife wiggled her rear against me, making the Ol’ Chap rise from his slumber.

“Adventurous, are we?” I chuckled.

“I know you’ll stop if I don’t like it, so yes. I’m sure you won’t give the Bundt Cake any troubles.”

“I just hope-” I froze. “Nope, not ruining my chances.” I gave her arse a poke with my member.

“Good Amour! You’re learning!” Twilight tittered terribly.

I gasped in false indignation. “Why I never! I refuse to learn, Twilight Sparkle! I can’t even remember which numbers are the numerators and denominators!”

She made me let go and gave me a severe look. “That’s not funny.”

“Really?” I asked.

Twilight cracked a smile. “No, it’s a little amusing.” She placed her hand around my neck and pulled me down for a kiss. We snogged for a little while until I heard two distinct ‘Pop’s, so I broke the kiss.

Luna looked me in the eyes, and when I turned to Celestia, she was smiling warmly. “We’ve cast the exorcism spell, so we can have a real talk. Max, Twilight, I’d like you to meet my sister, Princess Luna.”

“Good evening.” Luna said flatly.

I gave her a nod. “Good evening. I’m assuming we’re going to let this be the impression that counts?”

“Celestia has explained to us that we were in the wrong. We refuse to apologize.” She said haughtily.

I rolled my eyes. “Prince to Princess? I don’t care that much. As long as we’re civil, we’re good.”

“Pragmaticism will get you far.” Luna kinda complimented.

Celestia gave her some serious side-eye. “These people are immortal royalty, sister. You don’t have to stay aloof.”

Luna didn’t look at anyone when Celestia said that. “We acknowledge this.”

Twilight gave her a warm smile. “It’s nice to formally meet you, Luna. Max and I were fond of the Luna from our world too.”

“Celestia also explained to us that thine world was not unlike ours, but with Ponies that walk on two hooves instead of four.” Luna huffed.

“Just treat her like Prime.” Twilight whispered to me. “That’s right! I’m sure everypony except Max has an equivalent here.”

“How doth thou know if thine world is the original?” Luna challenged.

“We don’t. What makes you ask that?” Twilight inquired curiously.

Luna scoffed. “There must obviously be an original, foal.”

Twilight clapped a hand over my mouth, but I was already glaring daggers at Luna. Celestia chastised her before I could anyway. “Luna, if you can’t show much as a modicum of respect to people who have done nothing to you, how do you ever expect anyone to give a damn about you?” She said harshly.

Luna looked stricken. “S-Sister, W-We-”

“Celestia, that was a little unnecessary.” Twilight said softly.

Celestia shook her mane. “Twilight, you and Max have been nothing but pleasant since you were thrown through that window. Luna is the one being unreasonable, and I would like her to act her age rather than acting like a filly with a bad tooth ache.”

Luna shuffled her hooves. “... We apologize for our trespasses.”

“It’s all fine, Luna.” Twilight said warmly. “It must be hard, transitioning from solitary life to being social again, especially when you’re not used to showing respect to anyone other than your sister. I don’t know what it’s like, but it can’t be easy.”

The blue bitch nodded. “We thank thou for thine understanding.”

Celestia smiled. “Max, is there anything you’d like to say?”

“I have nothing pleasant to say to anyone who insults my wife.” I said, trying to keep my voice neutral.

“Max, I’ll consider it a favour if you let it go.” Twilight said softly.

“... Fine.”

Luna looked at me. “... Thou hast nothing to say?”

“Holding my tongue before I say something unnecessary is the best course of action right now. I’ll forgive you in time.”

She smirked. “Mayhap we could interest you in a contest for your forgiveness?”

“I’m listening.” I said.

“No.” Celestia said firmly. “Both of you will be sent to opposite ends of Equus if you fight each other.”

“It’ll be three long days without so much as a kiss, Amour.” Twilight warned.

“I’m not listening anymore.” I announced.

“Cowed by thine wife over something as meager as a kiss?” Luna sneered.

“You don’t understand how addictive her lips are, and you’ll never get to find out.” I smirked at her.

“Like I would kiss that whorse.” Luna grinned evilly.

Celestia opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, I already had my hand on Luna’s back, having used my True Theft, and was shocking the shit out of her. Luna fell to the ground, spasming as I loaded her body with somewhere around fifty to seventy milliamps of pure lightning into her body. I left my hand on her until I saw the first wisp of smoke, and when I finished, she twitched and jerked on the ground. Celestia stared at her for a long moment before looking over at me.

“... Did you just eletrocute my sister?” She asked, her voice tinged with shock. Kek.

“She shouldn’t have said that.” I replied.

Luna groaned shakily, trying to get back onto her hooves. “B-B-Bu-ck-ck.”

Celestia stared at me. “I’m going to assume that you weren't’ trying to kill her.”

“Of course not. If I wanted her dead, she wouldn’t be stuttering.” I said factually.

The white mare stared at me for a few more moments, but Luna finally got to her hooves, still trembling. “Buck.”

“Sister, are you okay?” Celestia asked, concerned.

“We will be fine, Celestia.” Luna said shakily. “We have learned a valuable lesson.”

Celestia glared at me. “Touch my sister again and I’ll send you to the Moon.”

“As long as she doesn't mess with Twilight, it won’t be a problem.” I said evenly.

She nodded and looked to Luna. “Is there anything I can do to help, Lulu?”

“Convince that stallion to lay me.” Luna requested quietly.

Silence overtook the room. “... What?” I asked.

Luna looked at me. “... You heard that?”

“Heard what?” Twilight asked.

“Don’t worry about it.” I patted her shoulder.

“Indeed.” Luna said, blushing. “We would prefer it if thou wouldst also pretend that ye did not hear that.”

“No problem.” I gave her a thumbs up.

“We do not understand this gesture.” Luna said.

“It means ‘Yes’ or ‘Good job’.” I explained.

“Ah. We are leaving now.” Luna said.

“We’ll see you in the Dining Hall.” Celestia said, a little rosy around the cheeks.

Luna nodded. “Until then.” She teleported out.

“Damn me for being irresistible.” I cursed. I’m such a fucking Gary Stu at this point. Goddamnit.

“... It is odd.” Celestia said softly.

Twilight looked between us. “Wait, does Luna want some of my Max?”

Neither of us looked at her. “Oh, come on! I have enough competition back on my planet!” Twilight complained.

I gave her a hug. “But you know you’re the only one I’ll give my best loving to. All my sweetness goes to you.”

She hugged me back. “I’m gonna have to put a lock on your pants if I want to keep women away from you. If I get a big enough one, do you think they’ll get the idea?”

I chuckled. “Speaking of pants, were’ going to need to find someone to make us a lot of clothes.”

Twilight smiled. “Rarity!”

Celestia nodded. “I’ll call her to Canterlot in the morning, but I meant to ask why you two were wearing so many clothes earlier. Are you not warm?”

My wife blushed, so I answered. “It’s a matter of modesty. Ponies from Twilight’s world and Humans from mine wear clothes partially because being seen naked is humiliating if it’s not by your significant other or your parents when you’re young, but it’s also to keep us warm. My clothes tend to be a little thicker than what Twilight gets since I have no fur, but I’m a cold weather kinda guy anyway.”

“How strange. Few enough Ponies wear clothes since they’re hard to put on if you’re not a Unicorn, though lingerie is often considered worth the effort by both sexes. It’s not to be worn out in public, however.” Celestia explained.

“So Ponies from here put clothes on to be alluring?” Twilight asked. “That’s pretty much the exact opposite of what happens on my planet.”

“I don’t know about that, Cherry. You know the purple and black lacy number you had Rarity make for you?” Twilight blushed and nodded. “I find that to be almost as nice as you wearing nothing, if not a little better because I get to take it off of you.”

Celestia coughed. “I’m sure you two don’t mean to talk of such intimate matters in front of the analog of your surrogate mother, Twilight.”

“Hmm? Oh no, Sola stopped being that for me when I found out that she messed with my friend’s, Max’s, and my own mind. It was a little much for me, to be honest.” Twilight said.

Celestia blinked. “... Sola wiped all of your minds?”

“A few times.” I chimed in.

“Oh my.”

Twilight nodded. “Sola was a real nag before Max made her clean up her act.”

“... I’ll be sure not to make the same mistakes.” Celestia said for the second time today.

“It’s Pony nature to make mistakes, Celestia.” Twilight said kindly. “You don’t have to hold yourself to the standards of perfection, but then again, Sola never liked hearing that either.”

“It’s not that I don’t like hearing it, I just believe that I should live up to my own virtues.” Celestia replied.

“And you can! Just don’t burn the candle at both ends while trying to do it.” I gave her a little smile.

“That’s much easier said than done, Maximus” She sighed.

“We have faith in you, Celestia.” Twilight cheered. “We’re rooting for you all the way!”

“It’s… Odd to have strangers know more about some of the things I do than past lovers.” The white mare said uneasily.

“Well, we technically know you and have known you for years. I know what you taste like.” I threw it out there just to see what she would say.

“You know what Sola tastes like, not me.” Celestia sniffed.

“Do you want him to taste you?” Twilight asked. “If you do, I wouldn’t mind as long as I got to watch. It’s a part of our agreement.” Don’t throw me under the fucking horse! I miss the bus; where's the bus?

“Max has made it quite clear to me that he doesn’t want to lay with a quadruped, though he likened the experience to sleeping with his sister for some odd reason.” Celestia said.

Twilight turned to me. “You’re talking about Nashoba, right?”

“... Yeah.” I hesitated because I knew where it was about to go. “Why don’t we go have dinner with Luna?”

Twilight picked up on my discomfort and opened her mouth to say something, but rethought it and closed her mouth. “Why don't we go do that?”

“I feel like you two are hiding something from me.” Celestia said calmly.

“It’s just another reason why Max doesn’t want to sleep with a four-legged Pony. It really isn’t something to worry about unless you don’t find his first answer satisfactory.” Twilight responded.

“I really don’t, but i’ll not press the matter. Come closer and we will go to the Dining Hall.” Celestia said.

Twilight and I walked over and Celestia teleported us there. Luna made eye contact with me and blushed, looking away, so Twilight and I found ourselves a pair of seats and I tried to avoid looking at the horses that wanted to fuck me. I found it incredibly odd that Luna wanted some, especially since I’d fucked her up pretty good for insulting Twilight, but the woman wants what she wants. I planned on talking to her about it later, but as Celestia and Twilight butted me out of the conversation time and time again, I found myself coming up with fewer and fewer reasons not to converse with Luna, so I left Twilight’s side and sat as close to her as I could withhtout being in her personal space.

“So… I’d apologize for shocking you, but you did insult my wife to her face.” I said.

“We understand. We purposefully crossed a boundary to incite thine anger, though we must warn you that we shall find a suitable price for our vindication.” Luna said softly, not meaning a word of the revenge talk.

“I appreciate the lip service for what it is, but you don’t have to put up a front with us, Luna. Twilight and I will accept you for who you are, and so will most people if you give them a chance.” I assured her.

“We are not-”

“You know, you should probably practice saying things like ‘I’, ‘me’ and ‘you’ with Celestia when you can. It’ll help you mingle with your subjects more easily, and if your subjects like you, they’ll give you more respect instead of fear. I know you’re well aware of the fact that some of the populace is still afraid of you, but I’m telling you that my Luna was quite popular with the night lifers on Twilight’s planet.”

“I will take your advice, though I do not understand what the ‘night lifers’ means.”

“The people who party all night and sleep all day.” I explained.

She gave me a look. “There are no such people in Equestria.”

I smirked at her. “Wanna bet on that?”

She raised her chin and my lip curled in a second, so she lowered it. “... You do not like that gesture?”

“It’s a condescending one above any other. It’s incredibly disrespectful, and I find it to be punch worthy.” I replied civilly.

“We shall-”

“I shall.” I corrected.

She gave me another look. “I shall keep this in mind when dealing with you. Offending one of thine- your power does not bode well.”

“It’s hateful speech and condescension that you have to worry about. I wasn’t a threat to my Luna for a long time, so we had to bond over love for Sola, but I feel like we can bond over our warrior spirit, if nothing else.”

“... We could bond over other things.” Luna hinted.

“I don’t want to sleep with a quadruped.” I said firmly. “It’s not a matter of racism or something like that, it’s just stone-set preference.”

Luna raised a brow. “We- I know of spells that would allow us- me1 to take a form not unlike th- your own.”

“You’d be terribly uncomfortable with toes.” I replied with a small smile.

“Toes? What are they?”

I wiggled my fingers. “They’re like fingers, but considerably smaller and less dextrous. They help Humans balance and they make us more maneuverable than any other species that I know of.”

Luna’s horn lit up and her magic encased her before it started heading toward me. “I would like to try this spell. Do you mind?”

“Feel free, just let me know if it’s supposed to hurt.”

“It should not. I have used this spell to disguise our- myself before, and mine subjects have never complained or noted any pain.” Luna said as the blue gob of magic surrounded my head, travelling down my body.

“Feels like I’m being coated in orange juice with pulp.” I remarked.

“Hush, We need to concentrate.” Luna closed her eyes and her body began to absorb light until her features became indistinguishable from the darkness. He body transformed into a vaguely humanoid shape, but the horn and wings were still there, and as she started fading back into reality, I realized that she was going for a Human instead of a bipedal Pony.

Once Luna was finished with her transformation, she was fucking hjot. Like, I’d be looking everywhere I generally wouldn’t be allowed to if I didn’t have my eyes trained on her face. Luna looked down and stood up from her chair, wobbly on two legs, so I stood and helped her balance and she tried to shrug me off, but she nearly fell. I caught her before she could hit the ground and got her back to her feet easily enough, but when she tried to take a step, she seemed to be getting the idea pretty quickly. She figured out how to spread her toes to get a little extra balance while I tried to ignore the expanse of exposed skin.

“This form is odd.” She said, her voice a little higher than it was as a Pony. It wasn’t noticeable if you weren’t as tuned in as I tend to be.

“Sister, why have you turned into a Human?” Celestia asked from across the table.

Luna blushed. “I wanted to experience the form of a biped. Is that so wrong?”

Celestia gave her a knowing smile. “How does it feel?”

I threw my jacket around Luna’s shoulders and she clutched at it clumsily, not used to having fingers. “It was cold. It still is a touch chilly. The new appendages will take some time to get to.”

“Don’t you have a spell that will warm you up?” Twilight asked.

Luna blushed harder, her neck and face red. Her horn glowed and she tried to take off my jacket, but I said, “If you take that off, my wife is going to end up slapping me.”

“Mayhap thou deservest it.” She said flatly.

I charged up one of my fingers and poked her breast, making her gasp and bite her lip. “... Okay, I was trying to make that hurt.”

“It did hurt, but these mammaries are sensitive in strange ways.” Luna murmured.

Twilight coughed. “If you two would like to go somewhere so you can learn more about being Human, I believe Celestia and I can keep ourselves entertained for awhile.” Twilight said, subtly giving me the go ahead.

I tilted my head at her and she blushed. “I’m kind of hoping she can wear you out a little.” Twilight murmured under her breath.

Celestia asked, “What was that, Twilight?”

“Words meant for my ears only.” I replied for her. “Luna, do you think you can walk, or would you prefer to teleport somewhere so we can have a conversation in privacy?” I hinted.

Her blush didn't’ fade. “Sister, would you-”

“I’ll handle Night Court.” Celestia said, smiling. She winked and Luna’s horn lit up, taking us to her room.

I helped Luna walk over to her bed, but she was getting her footing down pretty quickly. “You’re learning pretty quickly. I suppose being adaptable is a must for any good warrior.”

She looked at me nervously. “Yes, it is a good quality to have.”

“You know, if you’re as beautiful as a Pony as you are Human, then I don’t doubt that you’d have a line of suitors lining up for a chance with you. That is, if you allowed them to line up in the first place.” I smirked at her.

Luna looked away from me and raised her chin. After seeing that I just raised a brow at her, she said, “Only those that can match mine strength would have a slight hope of being heard.”

I chuckled. “So you want me because I put you on the floor?”

“... We respect thine strength.”

“‘I’ and ‘your’.” I corrected.

She gave me a haughty look. “I know what me said.”

“That ‘me’ should’ve been another ‘I’.” I teased.

Luna hit me with an open hand and hurt her fingers. “Confound it! Why art thou so hard!?”

I looked at my lifelong friend. “Because you’re naked.”

She followed my gaze. “... That is a sizable bulge.”

“Thank you. It’s your fault.”

Luna tilted her head at me. “I do not understand how blame lies with anyone in this context.”

“You’re attractive and you make my member stiff. I should mention that Humans don’t walk around naked.”

“Ah. So thou- Er, you find this form acceptable for a sexual encounter?”

“It’s not just the arms, you know. I like your personality when you’re not being condescending or spiteful.” I informed.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Flattery is needless. I hath already stated that I wish to lay with thou.”

“Cast a truth spell.” I challenged.

She looked into my eyes. “... I see no hint of ulterior motives.”

I smirked. “I’ve had a crush on you for a long time, Luna. It’s a shame I can’t have a little fun with the Luna from Equus, but my crush started before I got to know her anyway.”

“What is a crush?”

“It’s akin to being smitten.” I explained.

Luna flushed again. “Oh.”

“Like I said, I like your personality too, not just your body.” I took a step closer, putting my hands on her hips. “I was always fond of your loyalty and near-predatory grace, though your quick wit was never anything to turn one’s nose up at. No, you’re a fun little lady once one gets past the barbed words and evil looks.”

She looked at the contact while I tried not to look at her landing strip. “... I will try to cull mine unpleasantness for thee.”

“It’s a part of your personal charm. Trust me when I say that the only person you need to watch what you say toward is my Twilight, because hurting her feelings is like begging to be brutalized.”

“I will keep your words in my mind.” She watched as I let my hands slide up her sides.

“Is it warm enough in here for you? You shouldn't need the jacket for much longer.” I said soothingly.

She clutched it to her body a little tighter. “... It smells of smouldering cherry wood.”

I stepped a little closer, our faces about half a foot apart. “Do you like it?” I purred sensually.

She swallowed. “I do.” Luna said quietly.

I moved my hand to the small of her back and tilted her face upward. We were the same height, so moving in for a kiss wasn’t hard, though Luna didn’t know how to snog with Human lips. What she lacked in experience, she also lacked in proper enthusiasm, but I wasn’t going to let that deter me. I tried a little shock to get her going; not enough to hurt, but enough to let her know that my electrifying personality wasn’t the only thing I had going for me. She moaned into my mouth, which was a little weird, but I think someone’s done it to me before, so it wasn’t that weird. Still, I wasn’t fond of keeping my hands to the platonic places, but I wanted to make sure Luna had a good time and was properly warmed up. I let a small amount of my power course through my veins so that wherever I touched her tingled, and that elicited more moans from her easily.

I heard a soft pop and broke the kiss to look over at Celestia and Twilight. “Wotcher.”

“Would you mind having an audience?” Celestia asked lasciviously. “Twilight brought up the possibility, and I would hate to miss out on the fun.”

“I don’t mind that much. How about you, Lulu?” I looked to the cinnamon-skinned woman.

“I find an issue with Twilight Sparkle watching as I have coitus.” Luna said briskly.

“But not your biological sister?” I raised a brow.

“Oh, we’re not blood siblings. We’re bound by the blood of the covenant rather than the waters of the womb.” Celestia said offhandedly.

“Then it’s less weird. Please let Twilight watch, Lulu.” I gave her some puppy-dog eyes.

She gave me a look. “No.”

“She’s watching whether you like it or not.” I said, my voice rock hard. In fairness, I knew about Luna’s little submissive streak, so I was trying to see if that’s what it took.

“... Okay.” Luna caved. Score!

“If she’s not really okay-” Twilight started.

“Shh! I think Max knows how to handle her properly.” Celestia whispered.

“What? I thought Luna liked to be in control.” Twilight replied in the same hushed tones. I started snogging Luna again, making her lose the jacket.

“No, Luna has always liked to be dominated, it’s just that she only likes it when someone is stronger than her. If she’s dealing with a normal Pony, then she prefers to be in control”

“Oh. I guess that makes sense.”

“I can’t wait to see what Max has in store for her. That tent in his pants makes me want a round with him.” Celestia giggled while I palmed one of Luna’s moderately sized breasts, making her moan into my mouth again. The electricity was doing it’s work well.

“You could always use the spell Luna cast on Max but with me. You might end up looking like Sola, but at least you’d still have hooves.” Twilight said. I nibbled on Luna’s lip as I broke our kiss.

“Tempting. Very tempting.” Celestia murmured.

I picked Luna up by her thighs and she wrapped her legs around me. She grimaced at the feeling of my trousers against her most sensitive area, which is probably why she teleported my clothes off. It wasn’t as fun as being stripped by hand., but now that I had more skin-to-skin contact with her, she started trembling and I could feel her arousal on my member, her nectar flowing more freely as we maintained contact. I carried Luna over to her bed and laid her down, but she frowned hard, still shivering every now and again.

“Why hath thou stopped with the kiss? T’was quite pleasant.” She groused.

“Do you know what cunnilingus means?” I asked.

Luna looked at me blankly. “Should I?”

“Fucking Ponyland.” I shook my head, before kneeling in front of Luna.

“What’s he doing?” Celestia asked.

“Oh, it’s one of my favourite things! It’s always such a turn on to watch him do it for someone else.” Twilight said breathlessly.

“Maximus, why art thou kneeling before me?” Luna asked, confused. “Thine arousal beith evident.”

“So is yours, but it’s not time for the main event yet.” I held up two fingers and let an arc of lightning travel up and down them. “I’d tell you to stay still, but that’s not happening, so just try not to kick me, yeah?”

“... We will try as long as thou doth not~ AH!” She cried out as I touched her hood after significantly lowering the voltage. Luna balled her hands up and brought them to her chest, spreading her legs wide for me at first, then lifting them high in the air.

I rolled my fingers around her hood for a few seconds before taking them away once I saw that Luna was getting to be a bit creamy around the honeypot. She relaxed over the course of a minute or two, practically melting into the bed. “Bu~ck.” She cooed.

“... That’s new.” Twilight uttered to Celestia.

“Am I mistaken, or did her just use his Magic to make her climax faster than the most well-endowed stallion ever could?” Celestia murmured, absolutely staggered. I let my fingers keep their tingling quality as I eased one into Luna. She was fucking tight, though I was sure that it was from lack of action rather than her being a virgin.

“Oh, you should feel some of the ways Max can get a woman off. He’s rubbed my tummy to the point where I’ve had a small orgasm, licked my horn until I had a big one, and his stamina. I’m hoping Luna can last long enough to make a dent in it.” Twilight replied as I was searching for Luna’s G-Spot. Once I found it, I gave her a little shock and moved to the side before she could spray me. Whether it was female ejaculate or the other option, I wasn’t willing to take the risk.

“How long can he go?” Celestia inquired hopefully.

“Apparently at least eight hours while drunk. We got the entire royal family liquored up on ancient wine one night and Max woke up surrounded by Cadance, Sola, Luna, and Shining Aegis.” As Twilight spoke, I gave Luna a lick. She tasted like blue raspberries, which surprised me since she was Human-ish, though the blue horn and wings kind of ruined it.

“While DRUNK? I’m surprised he could get it up.” Celestia murmured.

“Lulu, how are you feeling?” I asked, easing another finger into her slicked entrance.

“Goo~ood.” She moaned.

I ground her G-Spot again and hit her with another little shock, making her spasm and shout, “Oh Heavens above~!”

I grinned deviously and cast a quick glance toward my audience. Twilight had her hands folded and pressed against her Cupcake Castle while Celestia never seemed to stop shifting her back hooves. Satisfied with the fact that I was turning Twilight on (I wasn’t trying to get Celestia going since she was still a horse), I used my left hand to spread Luna’s outer lips and expose her hood before shifting it upwards to expose the sensitive little nubbin. My left hand wasn’t able to tingle through the bandages, but I didn't really want to swap hands, so I did the next best thing and removed my right middle and ring fingers from Luna’s sweet core before rising. My knees hurt because the marble floor wasn’t exactly fucking soft, but I wanted to see something for myself.

I rose and crawled onto the bed next to Luna, kneeling over her. “Oi, Lulu.”

“Ye~es?” She sighed dreamily.

“Lick these clean for me.”

She struggled to make her arms move, but she propped herself up so she could suck my fingers ‘dry’. “That’s the ticket. You’ll make a fine slave to add to my sex dungeon.”

The hopeful look in her eyes paired well with the increased tenacity in which she vacuumed my fingers. Once I was sure that she’d gotten every last drop, I tried to withdraw my fingers from her mouth, but she bit down on the second knuckle. “Oi, let go.” I commanded harshly.

She shook her head, so I slapped her. Luna let go and licked her lips. “Thanketh thee, Sir Maximus.”

“You’re a depraved little ‘whorse’, aren’t you?” I smirked.

“Only for thou, Sir~” She gave me a sultry smile, her speech a little slurred, which I assume was from the electricity.

I patted her cheek patronizingly, a little harder than I normally would’ve. “Good. You’d better work hard to give me a reason to claim you.”

“Oh my Heavens, it’s like he knows exactly what to say.” Celestia murmured to Twilight.

I glanced at them again and saw that Twilight shifting like Celestia now. “Max is really good at sweet talk, but the only time I’ve heard him talk like this is with Luna and Strawberry Petal.” I pinched and pulled on Luna’s breasts while Twilight was talking. My efforts were rewarded with a desperate look and a few strangled moans.

“Strawberry Petal? Isn’t she Mayor Mare’s receptionist?” Celestia asked.

“Yes, she likes it a lot rougher than Luna.”

I pumped up the volume and let my fingertips drag from Luna’s throat down to her breasts, circling them before I let them graze across her stomach. I steered clear of the finish line, however, making her whimper pathetically. “Luna DOES like tickle more than slap when it comes to intimate moments. They both have their place in her center, but she tells me that she prefers the pleasure to pain ratio to be weighted heavily toward pleasure.”

With that little tidbit stored away in my memory vault, I pulled Luna up into a sitting position by the back of her neck, careful as to not hurt her, though firmly to assert a little more dominance. Before I started another kiss, Luna had a dopey smile on her face. “He’s being weird with the pacing.” Twilight remarked.

“I agree. Usually a stallion would’ve gone for a good rutting instead of doing any of this. I don’t understand what he’s doing, but I’m eager to try.” Celestia replied softly.

“I know, I can smell you from here.” I said, momentarily breaking my kiss with Luna, who pouted about it before I picked up where I left off. I got off of the bed and she followed my lips urgently, trying not to break contact, so I went slowly for her.

Celestia coughed. “Have you been listening this entire time?”

“I could’ve told you that.” Twilight said softly. “Don't interrupt, okay?”

“Ah, I suppose I should’ve thought about the moment. My apologies.” She replied hushedly.

I gave her a thumbs up with my left hand and held Luna’s chin with my right, Pushing her away. “Don’t get greedy, my horny little whorsie,” I stroked her thigh with my power trickling through my fingers, making her moan a little harder than she had been while snogging, “I’ve got more in store for you, so let your Master give you a suitable reward after he has his fun.”

“Yes, Sir Maximus.” Luna sighed despondently.

I gave her a brief kiss and she tried to follow my lips again, but I pushed her back once more. “Tell me, how does my little whorsie feel about the dirty, dirty little hole she has?”

“It belongs to thee, Sir.” She said with bated breath. I wonder how far I can take this.

“And your breasts?”

“They belong to thee, Sir.”

I let my hand my hand drift from her knee to her mons. “And this? Your precious flower?”

She shivered and closed her eyes. “It beith thine own for thy pleasure, Sir.”

I traced a finger between her slick folds, stopping to rub her pink pearl. “Now I have to ask, do does Master’s little whorsie know what he’s touching.”

“No~“ She crooned pathetically.

I took my hand away and her look of desperation returned. “I didn’t hear a ‘Sir’.” I said flatly.

“We are most remorseful, Sir! Please tell us what thou were doing to bring us such ecstasy!”

“You Master will tell you when he feels like it.” I teased.

I smirked at her and tapped her nub a couple times, making her shiver with each little tap. “What is he touching?” Celestia asked quietly.

“It’s most likely her pearl.” Twilight said, her voice strained.

“I don’t know what that is.” I started stroking Luna’s clit in little circles as I kissed and nibbled on her neck, keeping her warmed up for the following events.

“Her C-L-I-T-O-R-I-S.” My wife spelled, still unable to say the word herself. I bit Luna and formed a seal with my mouth, sucking hard and making her gasp in delight.

“I feel like I should know what that is”

“... You don’t know what it is?” Twilight asked at conversation volume.

I stopped sucking on Luna. “You need to get better partners, love.” I said to Celestia.

“You really do.” Twilight confirmed quietly.

“I have had stallions that have lasted for hours-” Celestia protested normally.

“Those pillocks know nothing!” Luna said. “Sir, please!” She begged.

I rolled my eyes. “Please what?”

“Please return to thine blessed ministrations!”

I ran a finger down her chest, between her breasts. “Hmm.”

“Your little whorsie will beg if she needs to.” Luna swore.

I gave her a predatory grin. “Maybe some other time.” I returned to what I was doing, finding my marks on her neck easily and stroking her clit once more. I had to peel her hood back again, but her moans made it worth every second.

“I’ve never heard a mare so vocal without being penetrated.” Celestia mused in the background.

“You’ve never seen a mare with Max.” Twilight replied proudly. “I’ve never been able to keep up with him. You know he gave me multiple wonderful orgasms before he even thought about taking me on our wedding night?”

“... He didn’t just rut you?” The white one with a shitty sex life asked.

“What does rut mean?” My wife inquired. “I should’ve asked the first time you said it, but it didn’t seem important.” I finished with Luna’s hickey, the welt standing out decently enough against her lovely complexion.

She touched the mark as I gave her another jolt to her sensitive nub, though I’d made sure that it was enough to bring her to the brink, but not push her over. “It means ‘to buck’, but in a rougher way.” Celestia answered.

“Oh dear Heavens no!” Twilight exclaimed mutedly. “Max was so gentle when I gave him my first time.”

“Really? Ninety percent of the mares I’ve ever spoken to have said that their first times were terrible. My first time was terrible.” Celestia whispered back.

“Oh, Celly. That’s… That’s really depressing.” Twilight said, and I agreed wholeheartedly. I didn’t think about it too much as I pushed Luna back onto the bed a little roughly, making her smile in anticipation, but I wasn't’ quite ready to give her the good stuff quite yet.

Sunbuns sighed. “All you’re doing is making me more anxious to have a turn with your husband.”

“... I’m more than ready.” Twilight replied huskily.

“I really didn't need to hear that. My Twilight sounds just like you.” Celestia said neutrally.

I had myself a giggle at her discomfort. “Is something funny, Sir?” Luna asked, worried.

“Yes, but it has nothing to do with you, my little whorsie.” I knelt on the bed and let my hand rest on her throat, my current making her breath a little spasmodically. I didn’t squeeze at all and let my Magic do its work for me.

“Max is a bit of an ass.” Celestia said to Twilight rather drily.

“His rear is perfect.” My wife sighed.

I could practically hear Celestia rolling her eyes, but I didn’t care. I let Luna breath normally again and stroked her down the length of her body. “Tell me, little whorsie, is your mouth mine too?”

Luna’s eyes lit up. “Of course, Sir.”

I grinned. “How is your gag reflex?”

“Nonexistent.” She said quickly.

I levitated her so that her head was hanging off of her bed and shut off my current so I wouldn’t fucking kill her or something before positioning myself so I could see the easiest route for her. I shrugged and decided to tackle the problem head-on (Apply directly to the forehead). I tapped her forehead with it and she beamed before opening her mouth as wide as she could, so I took that as my invitation to ease myself in, but the moment my helmet touched the back of her throat, she FUCKING SWALLOWED. I had to take a step forward to move along with the incredible pressure, though I was willing to bet that she didn't’ give two fucks about whether or not I stayed where I was previously. In any case, Luna took my entire length down to the base, and how lovely it fucking was. I’d never tried the position before, but I was eager to get started with it, so I slowly began thrusting my rod into her mouth, letting out the occasional soft moan as I did my best not to prevent her from breathing for too long. I tried to pull out of her throat after thirty seconds of mild thrusting, but Luna reached up and put her hands on my rear, which I took as a sign that she was ready for me to be a bit rougher.

As I started thrusting a little more quickly, Twilight asked, “Can she breathe like that?”

“I know Ponies can when they do it, but I don’t know if Humans can.” Celestia murmured.

“... I’m sure Luna will let Max know before she starts choking.”

“She probably won’t let him stop until she’s seeing spots.”

I chuckled in anticipation and kept on going at my set pace until Luna tapped my cheeks twice, though to her credit, she’d lasted at least two minutes without being able to breathe. I pulled out of her throat at a reasonable clip so I wouldn’t make her gag or throw up since I didn’t know how she would take to that (And it would’ve been fucking gross), and when I fully vacated the moist, demanding chasm of her mouth, Luna gasped for air, though she didn’t cough or sputter at all. I was rather proud of her efforts and showed it through and upside down kiss that I had to dodge her pointy part for. Luckily for the sake of throat-fucking, is was at an upward angle so I wouldn’t get stabbed in the balls, but I still had to work around it for the kiss.

“Again?” Luna croaked.

“No. That’s fun, but that’s not my preferred method. Only one of us gets any pleasure out of that.” I booped her nose and levitated her back around so that I could stand between her legs.

Luna swallowed a couple times and coughed. “We also enjoy serving thee, Sir Maximus.” she said as I held her legs apart.

“I’m sure you do, but I get more fun out of teasing and toying with you than I do with you servicing me. The noises you make are far more fun than any I can make.” I rubbed the length of my shaft against her soaked lips.

“Mmm~ Shouldst thou ask, we will offer ourself to thee in anyway thou wish, Sir.”

“I have to ask? Isn’t that just a shame.” I grinned at her and placed my tip against the other entrance to tease her.

She licked her lips hungrily. “Offering ourself to thee means that we art thou’s for the taking when thy wish for companionship.”

I stopped playing around and slid my tip into Luna, her slicked walls offering me little resistance, but her tightness giving me much pleasure. “Ah~ I believe I will claim you. Such a fine sheath is fitting for my sword.” I said cheesily.

Luna blushed brightly. “Mmm~ Thank you, Sir~” I thrusted into her sharply, turning my current back on to a low setting. “Oh Heavens! Pierce me, Sir! Buck me!”

“With pleasure.” I growled sensually.

“It’s about time.” Celestia groused.

“Shh! This is the best part!” Twilight replied hushedly.

I figured that Luna had enough of the nice stuff, so I set a quick, rough pace that I knew an Alicorn could appreciate, and Luna did just that, if her cries of bliss were anything to go by. On every fourth or fifth thrust, Luna’s walls convulsed and gripped me a little more tightly as she stretched to fit my rod, but I couldn’t even use my whole length since she was a little shallower than any woman I’d ever been with. It was a little disappointing for the first ten minutes as I pistoned myself into her, making her breasts jump and jiggle in the most delectable of ways that only comes with the act of love-making. The sound of her sex as I drove myself into her was enticing, music to my ears that would play as long as I wanted it to, and that was a pleasant little bonus to go along with her moans.

It only took fifteen minutes for Luna’s small orgasms to cease and for a big one to build, but as I thrust into her, I knew that she would be quite upset if I stopped. Knowing this, I made sure to slow down my pace and grind my rod upward into her walls, rubbing her G-Spot with my tip as she came, holding her in place as her top half writhed on the bed. I knew Luna was a screamer, but she sounded like she was fucking dying or something as I made her cum time after time for three minutes straight. I didn’t give her much of a break since I can be an ass like that sometimes, but I assumed that it was what she wanted, and my assumptions proved correct. When Luna let out a pitiful little moan, I decided to slow down and lean over her so I could give her another kiss, but my current made her climax again before I even pulled away from the brief smooch.

“Sir~ Just one more kiss~?” Luna pleaded.

“Hmm…” I pretended to think, thrusting into her slowly, making her close her eyes and groan.

“Please Sir?” She begged dismally.

“Since my little whorsie asked so nicely.” I said, smirking. I leaned down again and gave her what she wanted, allowing her to wrap her arms around my neck as I gave her considerably softer strokes.

“The way he switches between rutting and gentle loving is astounding.” Celestia muttered.

“Oh, it’s the best! He’s building up for a big one now.” Twilight informed.

“... How did he get so skilled?” Celestia asked as I snogged her sister tenderly, controlling the kiss easily.

Luna had another small orgasm and moaned into my mouth as Twilight said, “It’s not necessarily a happy story, but he does have experience from his home world.”

“Ah, He told me a bit of his past regarding the matter. I believe we should speak of something else to not ruin the moment.” Celestia replied wisely. I started thrusting a bit more quickly into Luna, getting close to an orgasm myself.

“Ugh, I’m going to need new clothes as soon as possible.” Twilight groaned.

“Hmm? Why is that?” Celestia inquired as I wrestled with her sister’s tongue, my left arm holding me up as I maneuvered my right hand down to her clitoris for another jolt, making Luna peak in her ecstasy once more, unable to hold the kiss any longer.

As Luna released her voice, I missed out on what Twilight’s reply was, but I was in the middle of shifting Luna around anyway so that she was face down on the bed. “Sir~” She crooned. “W-We are sensitive now.”

I gave her a modest spank and she moaned a little. Her arse was fantastically soft, though firm to the touch. “Should your Master try his whorsie’s little rosebud then?”

If her hips weren’t on her bed, she would’ve fallen off. “It is for thine pleasure as thou wish to use it~” She murmured seductively.

I pulled out of her honeypot with a lovely coating of her juices on my staff, but I needed to get her properly lubricated since I assumed that she would choke me if I went in dry. “Oi, Celly, I know you have some lubricant.”

Celestia teleported some in and floated it over to me. “ I would ask how you knew, but you’ve seen the plug.”

Twilight gasped as I poured a little of the slippery substance from the glass bottle onto Luna’s rosebud. “That I have. Thanks for the assist, love.” I said casually.

“Happy to help.” Celestia hummed.

“Stop flashing my husband while I’m not around.” Twilight whispered irritably.

“... Are you saying that you wanted to see as well?” Celestia asked, shocked.

“Well, I am bisexual, though that’s pretty much Max’s fault.” Twilight said as I eased a finger into Luna tight little entrance. The pressure she exerted on me was tantalizing, and I couldn’t wait to work my way into her depths.

“Did Sola truly ruin your image of her that badly?” Celestia sighed.

“Eeyup.” Twilight murmured. I glanced over to see that she was in the middle of placing a hand on Celestia’s neck to keep it away from her privates.

I looked back to Luna and worked my middle finger into her as far as I could go, taking my time so that her inner walls would find the time to adjust to the feeling of being intruded. “Twilight, what are you doing.” Sunbuns said nervously. She wasn’t really asking.

“I-Is stroking your mane too much?” My wife asked anxiously.

“... Where are you going with it?” I eased a second finger into Luna while rubbing her pink pearl, making her shiver and groan as Celestia was being Molestia’d by my wife.

“N-Nowhere, I… I just need a distraction.” Twilight answered.

“... It IS distracting. Keep your paws somewhere decent.”

“They’re hands, not paws.” Twilight replied as I stretched my fingers from within Luna’s walls. Her anal grip wouldn’t allow me to get very far, and when she tightened up even further, I added more lubrication via Telekinesis and had it flow into her in a small, mild rivulet that wouldn’t fill her, per se.

Luna moaned as the lube trickled into her. “Such an odd sensation! Never before hath something so strange felt so pleasureable!”

I pulled my fingers out of her and checked them. They were as clean as a whistle, though I don’t know why that saying even exists. Whistles are full of saliva. “Was the tingling nice, little whorsie?”

“Yes, Sir~” She replied coquettishly.

I dipped my rod into her honeypot to re-lubricate it the natural way, but I couldn’t stop at one little thrust. After giving Luna ten slow, hard thrusts, she let out a low moan and trembled as yet another moderate orgasm overtook her, but I was fully cooled down , and it would take a little while for me to get back to where I’d been. Luna looked back at me, her arms too weak to hold her up off of the bed as I pressed my tip against her rosebud, but my fingers are slender and dexterous; my lifelong friend is not. It took some doing to get the tip in, but Luna squeezed too tight for me to enter her without fear of hurting her.

“Relax, little whorsie. Your Master won’t hurt you as long as you cooperate. Well, he won’t hurt you much.” I grinned like the Devil himself, grabbing her softer cheeks bearishly.

“Oh~ We tryeth for thee, Sir, but thine girth makes our efforts seem futile~” Luna moaned as I used my leverage to slowly ease my way in a bit further.

I pulled out and tried again with a little more success. “Mmm, fuck~ Your sweet little arse is even more refined than your sheath. Your Master is glad he made the right decision.” I eased my tip backwards until I nearly popped out of her, but guided myself back in once more.

I had more luck with her when I was rubbing her clit, so I ruefully took my right hand away from her lovely posterior and zapped her clit with low voltage, most likely at the same level as a joke pen. “Mmm, Sir~” She crooned. “Please, another!”

I rubbed her little nub in a spiral and lifted my finger to arc a little lightning to it, making her arse squeeze down on my helmet like never before as Luna climaxed hard, her holes winking and opening for me. When she relaxed, she still twitched from time to time, but the going was much easier. Since I felt like being nice (Or evil, depending on how you look at it), I abandoned her rosebud for ten more strokes to her primary entrance, making her cum all over again before the previous orgasm had fully subsided.

“Oh dear Heavens, someone get this stallion a medal.” Luna said weakly.

That made me chuckle as I realigned myself with her rosebud, but instead of the heavy resistance I’d been feeling earlier, I was able to slip a quarter of my shaft into her, much to my pleasure. I worked my way in gently, my efforts paying off by way of way of my ‘slave’ loosening up enough for me to eventually bury myself into her. My hips touched her bottom, my length fully inside of her, and I wanted nothing more than to go from there, but I knew she would appreciate another dose of lubrication since I hadn’t been able to reach so far into her with my fingers, as spidery as they may be. I kinda have a complex about my hands. Don’t judge me, you fuck.

“Twilight, keep your hand on my neck or keep it to yourself.” Celestia whispered levelly.

“Oh? Sorry, I didn’t realize it was going anywhere.” My wife said unconvincingly. Are you trying to fuck the horse?

“Right. You may be a biped, but you still remind me of my surrogate daughter.” Celestia said.

Twilight sighed. “Life isn’t fair.”

“It seldom is.” Celestia sniffed. “I was kind and pleasant to your husband, yet he’s laying my sister, who was far less than polite.”

“Well, Max did have a crush on our Luna, so…”

“Huh. Perhaps it’s the warrior spir- Twilight. Hand. Neck. Stay there.”

I chuckled as I slowly thrusted into Luna, her walls gripping me in all the right ways as my fingers feathered her clit, eliciting more moans and the odd cry from Luna as I went along. “Is putting my hand on your back sensual to you? It’s just easier for me.” Twilight replied.

I pulled myself to the point where only my tip was in my ‘slave’ before thrusting into her quicker than I had done previously, making Luna quiver and shake under my efforts. “Oh~ Faster! Please, Sir~ Just a little faster! We beg of you!”

“With pleasure.” I growled huskily, picking up the pace as much as I could, given that her walls were still making it a little difficult.

“My back is not off limits, but keep your hands away from the non-platonic areas.” Celestia demanded.

“Your coat is very soft.” Twilight tried as I added a little more lube to my shaft, pulling out to coat its length before easing myself back into Luna. I would’ve just rammed myself into her, but that’s how you hurt people with anal, and that wasn’t the plan.

“Thank you. Your hand feels nice.” Sunbuns replied curtly.

Luna cried out as I hilted her yet again. “Sir, I’m ready~! Rut us like we art thine naughty whorse! Punish our posterior with your pole!” Alliterative consent? Radical.

I had to giggle at that, but her request was a reasonable one, so I gave her rear a rough spank, making her groan as I started the process of turning her formerly taut arse into a gaping mess, dripping with my seed. The smile on my face couldn’t have been much wider, though I was pretty sure that the only thing that could have made it better was if it had been Twilight's rosebud that I was reaming. I thrusted into Luna as hard and as fast as I could, the small quantity of extra cushioning on her rear rippling as I hilted her time after time. I kept the spanks consistent and moderated them closely, being careful not to hit her too hard and take away from the loveliness of the moment. Between grabbing her hips for rapid, hard thrusts, and leaning down to zap her little pearl to make her squeeze me even tighter, my stamina was taking hit after hit, but I loved every second of the action.

Some might say that I reached my peak all too soon, but Luna and I had been going for hours at this point, and this was the first time I actually got off, so as Luna neared the biggest orgasm yet, I wasn’t far behind her. “Fuck! Your Master’s getting close, Lulu!” I groaned.

“Buck! Me! Sir! Spill! Your! Seed! In-side! Of! Me!” She cried in between thrusts, her voice rising with every word.

“Fucking yes!” I cried. “Just a little more!”

Luna reached her climax before I did, so I reached down to send a shock to her clit one last time to intensify her orgasm as I came to my own climax, not stopping as I poured my proto-progeny deep into her warm depths. My load was considerable, seeing as how I counted thirteen shots, one for every two thrusts, and as I filled my ‘slave’ with my seed, I couldn’t help but to appreciate the fine feeling of good coitus. I knew Luna wasn’t going to be able to make it to round two since she’d been worn out before I even left so much as a drop in her honeypot, but it was a good experience, and I was sure that Twilight would appreciate the slight dip in my libido.

As I hilted myself into Luna for my final shot, she was still wriggling and writhing, gasping for air and practically seizing around my slowly softening rod. It didn’t get a chance to soften all the way since her arse was just that nice, but I didn’t think she would be up for another shagging like that for another day or two, so I pulled out slowly to appreciate her gape for a moment. Luna had another minute orgasm as I popped out of her, so I decided to be mean and give her twenty thrusts, ten in each entrance, alternating between the two.

“Sir~ Mercy! Please have mercy!” She wailed pathetically.

“... Holy Tartarus. He made her tap out.” Celestia breathed.

“Max tends to do that.” Twilight purred.

“... I want one.”

“He’s a one-of-a--kind.” My wife said smugly.

“Life isn’t fair.” Sunbuns said bitterly.

“You know, if you could get over the whole ‘surrogate daughter’ thing-”

“No.”

I chuckled at that and rubbed my shaft along Luna’s rosebud and honeypot respectively. “Are you sure you want me to stop, little whorsie? I could bring you even more pleasure if you let me~”

“Please have mercy on your slave, Sir.” Luna said beseechingly.

I sighed and tapped her arse with my member. “You make for a fine cock holster, but your endurance needs work. Celly, do you have a plug I could borrow? Preferably an unused one.”

“Of course!” I heard it pop in and Celestia floated a decently sized butt-plug over to me. “I’m assuming that it’s not for yourself?”

I eased it into Luna, making her shake and shiver. “Sir~” She murmured.

“Leave it in for the rest of the night. I don’t want you to spill a drop of my seed unless you plan on eating it.” I commanded.

“Yes Sir~” She sighed dreamily.

I gave her arse one last spank, making her moan as I shifted her legs so that she was lying on the bed. I took her wings in my hands, but she said, “Please! Not them too!”

I sighed again. “Like I said; work on your endurance.” I levitated her around so that she was facing me as she lay. I stood over her and presented my member. “Clean this up.”

She eagerly raised her head to lick my staff, taking my tip into her mouth shortly before swallowing it once more. She bobbed her head along my length,. my helmet sliding down her throat as her muscles squeezed me again and again. When I tried to pull out since she’d properly cleaned it, Luna touched me with her teeth for the first time, looking up at me with her brows furrowed. I raised one of my own and she gently slid her teeth up my shaft to my tip and pulled me toward her, maintaining slight pressure until I stepped closer and made it easier for her to continue as she was. I assumed that Luna was dead set on getting a taste of my seed for herself, so I allowed her to do as she pleased.

I thrust my hips gently, making her nose touch my base from time to time as she took my member as deep as it would go, making me wonder if her tonsils were still there. It was an odd thought to have, but the lovely blowjob I was receiving blew the thought out of my mind. What I found to be most impressive was that Luna kept going past the ten minute mark, keeping a good, steady pace while slowing down occasionally to swirl her tongue around my tip and shaft. I couldn’t find a fault in her technique, but Twilight just knew me better and I loved her more, so her ministrations would always top anyone else’s.

At the thirty minute mark, I was starting to get a close and Luna was showing no signs of wearing down, so I ran my fingers through her hair until I grabbed a handful and started throat-fucking her all over again, but this time she was actually able to breathe. Within five minutes of taking control, I was ready to pop again.

“Are you prepared for a taste of your Master’s seed, little whorsie?” I said, my voice strained.

She winked by way of response. “Good. It’ll come soon.”

It didn’t take much longer for me to feel the telltale sign of the beginning of my climax, and when I hit the back of Luna’s throat and held her there, I almost forgot that I’d promised her a taste, so I pulled half of my length out of her mouth and let her finish me off. “Here it comes, you little slut. Don’t swallow before you show.” I growled seductively.

Luna winked again as I came for the second time, this orgasm lasting one more shot than before. As I tilted my head back and let my legs do the standing so I could relax for a moment, I felt my load coat my member before Luna started licking it off, collecting my seed in the back of her throat so she could give me a proper cleaning. She drew back and gave me a smile before I saw her throat undulate and she opened her mouth to show me the considerable load I’d given her.

I returned her smile and gave her a nod. “You may swallow.”

She swished my seed around her mouth for a moment, her cheeks bulging in turn before she visibly gulped. “Delicious.”

“Aww! I wanted some too!” Twilight complained.

“You’ll have a longer turn tonight, Cherry.” I replied kindly. “I’ll give you a taste as well, so don’t be jealous.”

My wife sighed. “You gave her two, so I want three.”

“Greedy.” I commented.

“A little.” She shrugged.

“Well, he is your husband.” Celestia said. “I must say, that was quite the show.”

I looked to Luna and patted her cheek. “It was, wasn’t it? Hopefully I’ll have you ride me next time.”

“I’ll ride you tonight!” Twilight offered eagerly.

“I’ll hold you to that. Then I’ll hold you to me.” I gave her a cheeky grin.

The ladies in the room giggled. “If every time is like that, then I see why Twilight stays with you.” Celestia teased.

“Oh, we usually go longer. Max trained me to withstand a night full of climaxes, though we haven’t been able to go a whole night without stopping since my first time.” She said, proudly at first, then slightly dejected.

“That’s not a bad thing, Cherry. It just means that snack time is too good for you to handle.” I smiled.

Luna grabbed my softening shaft and gave me a few gentle strokes. “If thou were not betrothed already, we would make you our first consort of the modern era.”

“I haven’t even had a turn and I’m tempted.” Celestia added.

“Hey, he’s mine!” Twilight said playfully with possessive undertones.

Luna let her hand fall and sighed. “Thank thee for sharing, Twilight Sparkle. We do appreciate it.”

“As long as you ask me before you try anything other than kissing, you can have another turn.” Twilight said, laying down the law.

“I’m sure Max would prefer it if you didn’t speak of him as if he were a book to be loaned.” Celestia said gently.

“Nah, I understand the meaning behind Twilight’s words. It’s fine.” I shrugged it off.

“You’ll let me know if I start making you feel like an object, won’t you?” Twilight asked.

“I will. Just don’t ask me to screw a dude.” I requested.

“You’re not gay or bisexual, so I wouldn’t do that.” Twilight scoffed.

“Thank ya kindly, darlin’.” I said in a goofy Country accent.

Twilight came over and cast a cleaning spell on me so I didn’t smell like Luna so she could hug me. “Any time, Amour.”

I got dressed shortly after and I knew I had three sets of lustful eyes on me as I stowed the goods, which was confidence boosting to say the least. Knowing that I made all three Princesses soak their knickers (Two of them metaphorically) was quite the boost to my ego, even if I didn’t really want a horse to be wet from the wiles of my dick. It was an ‘Oh well’ kind of feeling that I didn’t care to dwell on, so I got down to brass tacks soon enough. Twilight and I spoke to Celestia about our room for the night, and she was sad to see us retire, but she still lead us there. I made sure to stick next to Twilight as we walked so Celestia wouldn’t flash me again, though some of the Night Guards that were switching in passed us curious looks as we travelled down the halls. I could smell both Twilight’s and Celestia’s arousal and I didn't doubt that both of them were ready for some release of their own.

I gave Twilight her relief once we got to our room and she was definitely going to need new panties. She could clean the ones she was wearing with a spell, but I find it worthy to mention that they were soaked through and through, the light purple silk stained with her nectar from slightly above her pearl to a bit below her rosebud. I liked the fact that she was so turned on and ready to go that the foreplay was unnecessary, but I always have liked the way Twilight tastes, so I made her suffer through fifteen minutes of favours before I finally gave her what her heart desired.

I wrote our fight into my journal shortly before taking the stroll I mentioned earlier, and when I went to Night Court, I wasn’t terribly surprised to see Luna back in her Pony form, though she told me that she’d only changed because no one would recognize her as a Human. I found her acceptance and fondness of her Human form to be a little odd and said as much, but Luna replied by saying that her Human form was far more sensitive than her natural body and that it was just better for pleasure. We spoke in hushed whispers, of course, so no one would overhear our conversation, or that Luna was still calling me ‘Sir’. It was a nice little talk now that Luna warmed up to me, though she steered the topic towards a sparring match as often as she could. I shut her down, stating that she didn’t stand a chance without using Magic because I was just too nimble for her to land a hit on, which irritated her to no end, but my point stood firm after I proved it to her when she chased me around the thrones.

Well, I suppose that’s all that’s happened today. So far, life in Ponyland Part Two has been fucking great, though I’m worried about the little changes I made to Twilight. I only did what she asked, but I had to install two failsafes. One was for her so she could return to her normal self if she ever so desired, but the second one was for me… So I gave my wife my complete knowledge of my Flowing Water Style. Hopefully she never has to use it, though I do feel better knowing that her instincts will protect her should the need ever arise.

Here’s hoping that our mission goes smoothly. Fuck… Here’s hoping that we’re just here to make friends.

Author's Notes:

Dongs in a Chapter, welcome to Equis boyos.

As Always, Stay Cool, Kids.

Posted a day early rather than a day late because I have a thing with my Dad to do on te proper release day.