I’m still staggered that I’m actually free. As I sit here writing this, I’m just… I’m grateful. I’m so grateful that I don’t have to deal with another three weeks of Celestia and Luna trying to make me learn… Things. I don’t want to even see them for awhile, let alone hear either of their voices, even though I know I learned a lot from them. I don’t want to go into the details of those three weeks, but I will say that the extra week that was added was just… It wore me down. It sucked the last of my soul from me, and if it wasn’t for Noir supporting me, I would’ve completely shut down. Noir assures me that I would have made it through just fine and that I’m exaggerating, but I was so damned shellshocked by the fifth lesson with Luna, I couldn’t really care anymore. Being away from and not hearing from Twilight just made things that much worse, though I’m sure that a lot of the mental exhaustion came from Celestia using magic to double her voice so she could give me two lessons at a time. That had taken awhile to get used to, but once I did, things were better. Kinda.
‘

My knuckles still ache when I think about her.

Anyway, when the Sun rose on my final night with Celestia and Luna, I didn’t bother saying goodbye and just Shadow Dived into Twilight’s house, which was probably quite rude. I didn’t give a single fuck about that and knelt beside her bed, and when I got around to the correct side of the bed, I laid my head on my arms and just looked at her for a little while. Twilight always calmed me down and just having her within my line of sight made me feel a lot better about the three weeks I’d been gone. I was going to have to apologize for being gone longer than I said I’d be, but then again, I’d seen Celestia send the note off herself when she had told me that I was going to be staying for an extra week.

I heard two soft pops after a long silence and I knew that it was Celestia and Luna come to ask why I hadn't bothered to say farewell, though in fairness, I didn’t want to look at either of them any more than I absolutely had to at the moment. I continued gazing upon Twilight’s sleeping form until one of them tapped my shoulder and rose with a sigh, flinching when I saw Luna’s irritated face. I held a finger to my lips and pointed toward the balcony so we could talk in peace and started off towards it, but Luna grabbed my shoulder as I started to walk past her and we were instantaneously back in Canterlot. Dread filled my bones and my shoulders sagged until I realized that there were streamers and a cake on a table in the room we presided in. Luna was glaring at me with her arms crossed and Celestia was giving me an amused smile that I just didn’t feel like returning.

“Congratulations Max!” Celestia cheered. “It may have taken a little longer than expected, but you made it through your training without giving up or running away once!”

I nodded solemnly. “I’m assuming you put this together to celebrate?”

“Yes. Be thankful that we ourselves did half of the work in making this room suitable. That is, half apiece. Your friends made this party specifically.” Luna said a little harshly.

“Sister, you sound like you’re trying to get Max to run another lap.” Celestia chided.

Luna’s brows raised and her voice changed. “Do I? I suppose I’ve just been stuck in Instructor Mode for too long.” Ain’t that the fucking truth.

“Yes. I’m sure Max would be happier if you avoided using that tone with him ever again.” Celestia said.

They looked at me and I just nodded. “...Are you not going to say anything?” Celestia asked slowly. “You know, not to sound… Pushy, I suppose, but this isn’t exactly something we would do for just anyone.”

I looked at each of them in turn. “I appreciate your efforts and the time you’ve taken out of your busy schedules to do this for me, truly I do.” There’s more, but let’s keep this nice. “Can I have a piece of cake?”

Celestia gave me a look. “You don’t want any cake, do you?”

“Not really, but it would be a shame to waste it.” I said evenly.

Luna huffed. “Ingrate.”

Celestia threw her a look and Luna raised a brow. “What? We’ve spent nearly a month of our valuable time training and caring for Maximus and now he just wants to run off!”

“In Max’s defense, I’m sure he doesn't want to see the woman who spent the last three weeks abusing him physically and verbally until he lost his appetite. Waiting for him to be able to hold something down was just awful!”

“Tch. A soldier should have a heartier constitution than that!” Luna exclaimed.

“Luna, you could wear down any soldier with the amount of stress we put on max! Twelve hours of grueling physical punishment with a five minute break here and there would cripple anyone!”

“You it yourself that he would be able to take the punishment! Noir and yourself both agreed that my regimen was perfectly acceptable!” The Lunar Diarch argued.

Celestia scoffed. “Yes, for two weeks! I told you that we shouldn’t continue the physical part for another full week!”

I coughed and was ignored. “Yes, just allow me to waste a week that I could spend teaching him the nuances of the techniques he learned! Really sister, Max took his punishment quite well.” Luna persisted.

“He became a robot in my classes! He stopped flinching when I brought my yardstick down on his knuckles-”

“Aha! So you abused him too! I am not the only one at fault here!”

I coughed again and was ignored again. “I never meant to imply that you were, but you were far more severe! Honestly, Luna, I think you were just trying to outdo Noir and you know that it’s not an untrue statement!”

Luna poked Celestia’s sizeable chest. “I was not trying to compete with a woman who does not even have a physical form! I was simply trying to beat the lessons into Max’s head to the best of my ability! You were trying to crush his mind with every tedious iota of boring decorum that you could muster from your memory!”

Celestia poked Luna’s chest in turn. “I was attempting to teach Max the proper ways to present one’s self as a member of Equestria Royalty, just as I taught Twilight and Cadance! It’s not my fault that I had to stuff years of knowledge into the short span of three weeks! Twilight learned everything I had to teach her in the same amount of time and she did just fine!”

I stopped giving a damn about what they were saying and went over to have myself a piece of cake while they bickered between each other like children, shifting the blame for my melancholy mood to the other person like it was one of their faults in particular. Both of them had frayed my nerves and mind equally in different ways, and all I wanted was to go home and give Twilight the affection that had been trying to stay alive in my heart. They continued their quarrel as I cut out three slices of cake and placed a fork on each plate, though when I finally approached them and held their respective pieces out to them, they shut their noise makers for a moment.

Celestia and Luna each accepted the cake I’d been holding for them, so I figured that now was a good time to speak. “Celestia, you caused me more headaches in the space of three weeks than I’ve ever had in my entire life. Frankly, I’m sick of hearing your voice.” Her face fell into a frown and I turned to her sister. “Luna, you were trying your damndest to outdo Noir, no matter what you say. Pain means even less to me now than it used to and there are few insults that will rile me, but I swear to all you hold dear in your long life that I will rip out your vertebrae individually if you touch me within the next week.”

Luna blinked at me a few times and Celestia looked like she wanted to cry. I wasn’t done speaking, so I said, “Now that I’ve said my peace, thank you both for putting this little party together for me. It really does mean a lot to me to know that you consider me a friend more so than some pitiful creature to torture mentally and physically, but I hope that you understand my actions. I want to see Twilight and do nothing else other than spend a day with her in my arms, and I will make that happen one way or another, regardless of who stands in my way. I haven’t seen her in three weeks, I haven’t heard a word from her, and I know she misses me as much as I’ve been missing her, so let us enjoy our time together as friends before I take my leave and rejoin my lover as my heart truly desires.”

Celestia pursed her lips and looked down. “...You’re sick of hearing my voice?” She asked softly.

“I’ve heard it for twelve hours a day, nonstop for the better part of a month. It wouldn’t be any less irritating if you hadn't used the magic that let you teach two subjects at once, if it makes you feel any better.” I replied neutrally before trying the cake. It was actually pretty decent, though that might have been the taste of freedom.

“...I’ll be sure to remain silent for a while.” She said.

“Don’t bother. I know you want to ask me about the things I remember. Once Luna is finished with what she has to say, please feel free to ask your questions.” I patted her shoulder.

“What makes you think I have anything to say to you? You’ve hurt Celestia’s feelings-”

“Shut up if you’re going to bitch at me. I’m sick of your voice too.” I said calmly.

Luna glared at me. “Then why would you ask me to speak?”

“Because you want to address what I said. Are you a fool, or do you have a mental condition?” I asked, my face completely placid.

Luna stared me down. “I was not trying to outdo Noir, and I did my duty as I needed to.”

“You were and I never said that you didn’t. You trained me into something with a Kill Switch, Luna. Between yourself and Celestia, I’ve become a different creature than I once was, though I’m sure that some time with Twilight will cover the murderous rage that boils in my veins now. It’s nice to know that I can switch between the proper prince and the lethal assassin, however.”

Luna shook her head. “I don’t care about the rest of your words. I was not trying to outdo Noir in any sense!”

“You were. Noir said so herself multiple times. Denying it only makes you seem thousands of years your own junior, so eat your cake. I don’t know who baked it, but they did a good job.” Good enough, I suppose.

Luna clenched her jaw for a moment before lifting a bite to her mouth. She continued glaring at me as she chewed slowly. “I made this cake and it’s terrible.”

I shrugged and continued eating my piece. “I’m fond of it. Maybe you should try being less angry?”

Luna went to poke me and I used the original form of my Telekinesis to float her off of the ground and sent her across the room slowly. “I was serious about your vertebrae.” I called across the room.

“Max, I know you don’t want to hear me right now, but… Have you just slowly been growing angrier with us since your training began?” Celestia asked gently.

“It’s not the training that bothered me, Celestia. It’s the fact that I was allowed breaks to eat and use the restroom and that was it. Having literally no free time for nearly a month makes the mind bend in ways and not sleeping during that same amount of time twists it in others. Telling me that I would go home at the two week mark and then snatching that golden ring away from me was possibly the cruelest thing you could’ve done to me. I do thank you for allowing me to write in my journals the few times that you did, however.”

“...Is that really all you’re grateful for?” She asked sadly as Luna walked back over.

“I’m grateful for your time and that I no longer have to take anymore of it, but my journals keep me sane, Celestia. Not that I would have recorded much of my training specifically, but I would still have liked to get my feeling onto paper. It’s therapeutic for me.”

“I though meditating was all the rest you needed…”

“Physically, yes. However, you did not take into account that Noir was teaching me more things on the side and only gave me an hour to breathe.” I said numbly.

“...You were learning from three strict masters nonstop for three weeks and you’re still sane?” Celestia asked incredulously.

“No. Didn’t you hear me earlier?” I cocked my head. “I’ve been broken into at least two pieces, though I’m sure that the dashing rogue we all know and love will show his face again sometime. That, and I haven’t been quite right in the head since I killed my first person.”

“...I don’t think I want this cake anymore.”

“Would you like a hug instead?” I inquired.

“...Do you really want to give me one?” She asked, already expecting a no.

“Yes. I’d like to be able to show affection. I’d prefer that it be to Twilight, Blue, or Trixie, but I’d like to give one to you.” I lied.

Celestia levitated her cake away and gave me a hug that I returned with some enthusiasm. I also grabbed her arse because it’s nice, plump, and generally grabbable, but mostly because I was certain that she would let me get away with it. When I gave her a good squeeze, she pushed me away and gave me a puzzled look with a blush on her face and I smirked at her.

“What? You thought that I lost my libido? Woman, I’ve just gone a month without sex and I’m going to have to try awfully hard to not impale Twilight when I see her.” I raised a brow at her.

“My Heavens, you’re still a heathen! Maximus, you scared the daylights out of me! I thought you were dead inside or something!” Celestia held a hand to her heart.

“Nah, my Kill Switch was still flipped. I’ve got three personalities to choose from now, but I’m still the same old Max everyone loves to hate to love.” I grinned.

Luna put her hand on my shoulder and I threw a lightning-quick punch straight into her nose. “Don’t fucking touch me.” I prepared for another strike.

Celestia grabbed my arms and pulled me away from her. “Max! Calm down!”

“I said don’t fucking touch me. Did I not?” I stonily

Luna pulled her hand away from her face and inspected the blood on it. There was barely a trickle coming from her nose. Our eyes met and a smile started forming on her face. “I did not even see that punch coming.”

I snorted. “Damn straight. You trained me well, you psycho twat.”

“I would hug you, but then that would be touching you.” Luna beamed at me and healed her nose. “I’m proud of our results, Maximus.”

I nodded. “You fucking better be. Shit was mad difficult.”

Celestia let me go and stood next to Luna. “Alright, how are you flipping from stony and factual to smarmy and confident, then back to stony and then back to smarmy?”

“Different times call for different measures.” I shrugged. “Let’s say we get this party started, yeah? Do you ladies have congratulatory presents for me, or are you sending me away with knowledge and skill instead of physical goods?”

Celestia looked at me like I was crazy and Luna just kept grinning, so I shrugged and used the original Telekinesis- Actually. You know what? I’m just going to call that Telekinesis since it was the original thing and I’m going to call my tentacle Psychokinesis. There. My little problem is solved. I used my Telekinesis to levitate the mess we’d all made off of the floor and onto the table in an easy to clean heap on a plate and went for some more cake. It really was pretty good, even if it did look a little simple, and the punch was pretty damned delicious since it was spiked like nothing I’d ever had before. Celestia let me know that Alicorns had a pretty hard time getting drunk, so I asked why we weren’t just drinking straight liquor and she told me that it was because royalty shouldn't be seen drinking anything harder than wine. I disputed that and said that I would become the Prince of Bourbon and she said that she would let me have the title. I let it slip that I had a present for them even if they didn’t have a present for me, and all I needed to do was go home and get it. The Diarchs took me home via teleportation and brought us back the same way, but I didn’t let them see what I’d been hiding until we got back. I’d brought out a bottle of the thousand-year wine and gifted it to both of them, thanking them for teaching me everything they had.

Once we all had a half-glass, we gave it a sniff and it was fucking brutal, but we still down out glasses after a primary sip to see if it was actually tasty. I knew for a fact that it was like drinking raisins that had sat in home-brewed white lightning for years on end, but they hadn't known that, and their faces were hilarious. Needless to say, the three of us had locked every entrance to the room before drinking our wine for good reason: we were FUBAR within minutes. Celestia was quite the huggy drunk, so Luna was subject to an adorable amount of cuddles while I rolled around on the floor, trying to make the world spin in a different direction. I swear I could feel my brain cells dying and when Luna touched my hair, I whacked her for a few minutes, telling her to stop touching me even though I was doing most of the touching at that point. There were a few knocks on the door, but we scampered off behind some furniture, giggling our heads off like we were naughty children about to get caught after dipping into the liquor one too many times.

Eventually someone managed to get the door open and peeked in, but I was pretty sure all they heard was giggling. I heard the door close and peeked above the chair I was hiding behind to see that the person was looking directly at me, so I ducked behind the chair, giggling even harder than I had been before. The maid came around the chair and asked what I was doing and I said that I was hiding, which made her ask who I was hiding from. I pointed at her and giggled some more and she picked me up off of the floor and sat me down in the chair, though when I started leaning, she was quick to right me. The maid lady asked who else was hiding in the room with me and I told her that she was going to have to find them and broke out into a fit of giggles that made my facial muscles hurt from the smile I was wearing. She eventually found Celestia and Luna, both of whom played their drunkenness off better than I had. Celestia was a little wobbly and Luna was swaying pretty well but they both managed to stand up on their own.

The maid asked if we were drunk which made Celestia grab her shoulder and shake her a bit, telling the woman not to tell anyone, and that if she promised to keep the secret she could join us in hiding and giggling. The maid promised to keep the secret but declined the offer to drink on the job, though she did offer to babysit me sit I was fucking hammered and was still giggling. Luna said that she would look after me and came over to hit me a few times, telling me to get off my arse, so I did so I could push her away and flip her off. I stumbled around for a little bit until I found my footing and eventually got myself as straight as I could manage. The maid had been following me around, making sure I didn’t actually fall so I gave her a hug and told her that she smelled nice, but I probably ruined it by telling her that she was short and patting her head.

Celestia came over and dragged me over to the couch to give me a stern talking to, though she often lost her place and trailed off a few times. I suggested that we have another glass of wine and Celestia poured it, stating that wine should be harmless enough since it was wine, and when we all downed our drinks, I remember thinking with a crystal clarity that the only way I was going to remember the next few hours would be by Noir’s grace.

And so began the drunken blitz.

Luna had been sure to suggest that we become all attractive looking Ponies and Celestia was the one who actually provided the disguises since she was the only one with the mind for magic at the moment. In disguise, Celestia, Luna, and I went around the Castle in the guise of maids and a butler, stumbling about and being told off by guards and staff alike for being absolutely shitfaced on the job, and one maid in particular went so far as to take us into a side room and berate us for being disloyal to the Princesses because we’d come to work in such a state. I slurred that we’d found some wine in a room and only had a couple of glasses and she asked if that meant we’d down an entire bottle apiece. Luna said that we’d only had two glasses and Celestia said that the maid was very attractive and started hitting on her, which made the woman snort in disgust and threaten to go get the Head of Staff, Moonlit Stream. I dared her to do it, but before she could storm off, I gave her a hug and told her that she smelled nice. She extricated herself from my grasp and left me to be picked up by Celestia and Luna before Moonlit Stream herself actually did come.

We fucked off and wandered to Celestia’s part of the castle and some guards apprehended us, threatening to take us to jail if we tried disturbing ourselves while Celestia was supposed to be training me which made us laugh like it was an actual joke. One of the guards shoved me and I fell to the floor. That pissed Luna off, and much to my surprise, even hammered off of her arse, she was still a force to be reckoned with. I picked myself up to help her out with the other guy since he was trying to arrest her, though all I did was manage to cold-cock him with a punch that he probably never saw coming. I was surprised that it had even connected and once Luna finished her guy off, we had to drag them off to the sides of the hall quietly and get the fuck out of dodge. Celestia kept whacking us for hitting her Day Guards and slurring that she was going to make both of us pay for that, but I grabbed a handful of her chest and asked if I could pay her back in other ways. She looked rather interested, and in my defense, I wouldn’t even remember doing it without Noir, but thankfully Luna put the kibosh on that before we could make one hell of a mistake. It didn’t stop Celestia and I from playing grab-arse while Luna wasn’t watching, however.

We eventually made our way out to the Guard’s Training Grounds, but none of us had thought to change our disguises until we got out there, and when we did change, Celestia ended up giving us the wrong genders, though we were all still supposed to be attractive. I asked the ladies if we could go for run and they said yes, so we joined my former compatriots on the track and fell behind rather quickly since we were still fucking drunk. We ended up stopping to catch our breath and Shoulder Boulder herself came over to ask ‘what the buck’ was wrong with us. My week and a half of restraint in her presence crumbled within seconds of seeing her.

I started laughing when I saw her. “Look! Her name is Shoulder Boulder!”

Boulder glared at me hard. “Recruit, what the buck is your major malfunction!?”

“Your name means tits! Your name is tits because ya got bigguns!” I bellowed.

Celestia and Luna died next to me, hanging off of me. “Her name is Tits!” Luna laughed.

“Tits tits tits!” Celestia chanted.

Boulder’s chest heaved and she picked me up by my shirt, though she was surprised to find that I wasn't actually wearing armor. “What the- Are you wearing a disguise spell!?”

I giggled and booped her nose. “Tits found out! Run girls!”

Luna tried to tug me away from her, giggling her head of the entire time until she fell on her arse. Boulder tossed me onto the ground, furious. “Are you foals drunk on my track!?”

I tried to straighten up and saluted myself in the eye. “Sir no ma’am!”

Celestia picked Luna up first and they started working on me until Boulder took them both by the scruff firmly. “Soldiers, what are your names and rank!? NOW!”

Celestia and Luna traded a look, so I held a finger to my lips. “Shhh! We’ll get in trouble!”

“I know!” Luna hissed.

“We won’t get in trouble!” Celestia said bravely. “Ponies get in trouble with us!”

“Names and ranks! Now!” Boulder shouted at the top of her lungs, absolutely livid.

Celestia smirked at her. “Celestia, ruling Princess of Equestria!”

Luna looked at her and said, “Luna! Ruling Princess of Equus!”

Celestia nudged her. “We don’t rule Equus, silly! Just Equestria and some other places!”

“I’m Max!” I said from the floor.

“You’re a Prince, silly! You have to say your title!” Celestia stage whispered.

“Alright,” Boulder said, her voice levelling out, “fun time is over. You lushes are going in the brig until you sort yourselves out, and you can be sure that Captain Dirge is going to hear about this.”

Celestia giggled at her and I gulped. “Dirge is a sweetie! He wouldn’t lay a finger on me!”

“Laugh at me again, colt. I dare you.” Boulder said lethally.

I giggled. “Tits thinks you’re a dude!”

“I look like a dude!” Celestia replied.

The cadets rounded the track and one of them jogged up to us. “Sergeant Boulder, sir! Can I assist you with these ponies?”

I looked up and saw that it was a buddy of mine. “Stalwart! He~ey buddy!”

He gave me a weird look and checked with Boulder. “Are these guys drunk or something?”

“Yes they are. Help me haul them to Dirges office so we can have them dealt with.” boulder said severely.

Celestia grabbed Boulder’s hand and easily removed it from her shirt before picking me up. “I don’t wanna. We’re gonna walk around some more! What do you wanna be next, Max?”

“Ooh! Ooh! I wanna be a Gryphon!” I slurred.

Celestia’s horn lit up and she, Luna, and myself all became Gryphons of varying levels of androgyny and Stalwart just looked on wide-eyed. Luna took Boulder’s hand off of her and started pushing us down the track. “Where she we go next? I want ice cream!”

I gasped. “Ice cream would be sooo good!”

Celestia nodded. “Let’s go!”

Boulder grabbed the back of my shirt through the illusion and stared me down. “Where the buck do you think you’re going!?”

I didn’t like the look in her eyes. “Sunbutt! I think it’s time to go!”

Celestia put her hands on myself and Luna and we teleported away to Celestia's room and we all burst out laughing from the ridiculousness of the situation we’d found ourselves in. I was starting to sober up a bit around fifteen minutes into our stay in Celestia’s room, but at this point, we’d blown a good portion of the day just fucking around, being drunk, so I was ready to sober up and take a fucking nap. Celestia suggested that we all drink a few glasses of water and sleep off the rest of our buzz. Luna agreed and teleported away to get us some. A minute or two, she came back with some nice, ice cold water and we all had a few drinks before assaulting the bathroom in turns. Well, I actually just pissed out of the window because I’m a man with certain liberties, but still.

I didn’t wake up until an hour or so before dawn the next day and Luna had apparently gone to Night Court. Celestia was reading in the corner of her room until I woke up. She gave me my bag of shit and told me that she’d enjoyed yesterday more than she probably should have and that she wanted me to tell Twilight 'hi' when she woke up. I told her that I’d do that and wished her well before she sent me off to my fiance’s house.

When I arrived, I did the same thing I’d done the morning before and kneeled by the side of her bed, just looking at her for a little while. I eventually wanted to do a little more than look, so I took off my boots and crawled into bed beside her carefully as to not wake her up. It was like I’d just come back from some shitty nightmare and was now looking at the most beautiful dream while it rested before floating on to the next lucky recipient. The only thing was that this dream belonged to me and there were certain ways that it would only ever be mine and that brought a smile to my face. I reached out and touched her face, brushing her cheek gently and enjoying the feeling of her soft breath against my skin. The occasional endearing snore escaped her lips and I felt my eyes closing as though she were lulling me into a similar state, though I knew that I didn’t actually require sleep in any capacity at the moment. I wanted to hold her, but I was on the wrong side for that. All I needed to do was roll into my shadow anyway, so I did. I surfaced behind Twilight and draped an arm over her, nestling close and enjoying her particular aroma.

After an hour, Twilight stirred for a moment and stopped suddenly, making me want to remove my arm until she shifted around to face me. “Hullo there, beautiful. I missed you.”

Twilight magicked me under the covers and hugged me. “I missed you too. This is the best dream I’ve had in a week.” She said blearily.

I kissed her horn. “It’s not a dream, my love.” I whispered into her ear.

“That’s what all the best dreams say.” She kissed my fuzzy chin.

I stroked her side. “I’ve never had one that convincing, but if you say so, I suppose. Do I have to lick you to prove my point?”

She put a hand on my head and brushed my hair out of my face. “I think I’m just in denial. I thought you might be gone for another two years or something and the Princesses were just trying to cover it up.”

I looked at her and smiled. “No, they just wanted to torture me awhile longer. Speaking of, do you have anything to do today?”

“Well, I was supposed to go to a picnic with the girls today-”

“Or you could stay in my arms and we could cuddle.” I offered.

“And I was supposed to talk to Big Mac about his apple production-”

“Or we could start the day with some coffee and keep it going it sweet tea.”

“I think Spike wanted to help me reorganize the library.”

“I think Spike wanted to let you have a day with your fiance.”

Twilight sighed. “I’m free tomorrow, Max. I love that you’ve finally come back home again, but I can’t just drop everything because you’re here.”

“You totally could, but I understand. I guess I could bear to go see Trixie, Blue, or Nashoba for a little bit today.” I sighed.

She kissed my chin again. “We’ll make it through today. I’ll tell you what: we can sleep in your bed tonight and I’ll give you a favour or two. How does that sound?”

“Like I’ll need to shower three times today. I am not complaining.” I stroked her mane.

“Speaking of things you need to do in the bathroom, I don’t know if I want you to shave or to leave the beard there. It’s gotten awfully thick.”

“If you want it gone, just cast a hair removal spell or something. If you want it back, hair growth. I don’t really mind either way.”

Twilight’s horn lit up and my face suddenly got a lot cooler and my neck got a lot more itchy before her horn lit up again and magicked the fuzz away. Twilight spent the next few minutes kissing my face since it was nice and smooth now and I just soaked up her physical show of love, peck by peck. I liked not being hit for once, and Twilight’s lips were still pleasantly soft on my jaw. It took some time for me to chase her lips with my own, but once mine found hers, we stayed put for a long few moments, casually drinking in each other’s presence until the Sun filled her room and Twilight told me to go get some coffee started or something. I was hoping that she’d offer me a shower, but I couldn’t really be all that upset.

I went downstairs to get the coffee started to find that Spike was already doing it, so I gave him a quick greeting and he came over and gave me a hug, surprisingly. Once the strange bro-hug was over, he told me that Sweetie Belle had finally gotten off of his case about sex and he felt a lot better for it. I asked how he knew that it had been me to say something to her and he said that it just had to be since no one else really wanted to broach the subject since it was awkward. In fairness, I generally don't give a fuck in any case, so I guess his supposition was well placed. I offered to help him with breakfast and he had me be his sous chef for a little bit. Spike caught me up on some stuff that had happened since I’d been away, like that some dude named Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie had thrown a pretty awesome party and that Rarity had tried to pursue some fashion related faggot that was only interested in Applejack. I found that to be rather amusing, though Spike had been a little salty about Rarity chasing after some guy who wanted nothing to do with her.

Either way, we got breakfast squared away and Twilight came down looking as cute as she usually does and we ate in relative silence. I was just happy to have a warm meal that didn’t consist of bread and fruit for once and having company that wasn’t Celestia or Luna was nice as well. I didn’t feel the need to say much, and when the meal was finished, I took my leave quickly as to not prolong my own suffering. I figured I would go and see Blue first since she’s me fuckin’ mum, mate, so I headed toward her shop. Unfortunately for my plans, it wasn’t a weekday, so I had to go to her house to see her, but when I got there, I knocked a few times until I realzed that I couldn’t hear her heartbeat coming from within, no matter how many times I walked around her townhouse. I just couldn’t figure out where she would be, but I had some business to deal with since I was in town anyway and decided to head over to Sugarcube Corner.

I passed a few townspeople on the way over and they asked if I’d really become a Prince, so I flashed them the signet ring I’d been given. I caught quite a few people before they could start kneeling and asked that they treat me as a normal person unless I was wearing a suit or something of the sort. A sash would most likely be the biggest clue and the people that stopped me usually said that they would spread the word for me in their inner circles, which basically meant that it would soon be all over town since one of those people had been none other than Spoiled Rich herself, Ponyville’s most notorious gossip.

The trip to Sugarcube corner wasn’t really all that long, but it’d still given me too much time to talk to the hoi polloi. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I just wanted to have a quick chat with Pinkie and see if my training had done anything for me as far as my True Magic went. When I got there, the Cakes said that Pinkie had taken the day off and was at her house, which would have been perfectly fine news if I fucking knew where it was. They said that they didn’t even know, even though they’d been there a few times, so I decided to just Shadow Dive to her, saving myself some more walking.

Thankfully I didn’t have to be as stingy with my Shadow Diving since I’d grown a bit stronger magically under Luna’s watch, even though she threatened to kill me if I kept getting stronger. That was a fucking retarded statement and I’d told her so since I was the only one who could take on Discord to our knowledge, and that had earned me five hundred push-ups to be done in the space of twenty minutes, which I failed to do… Let’s leave it there. I don’t wanna talk about it.

Hellish training aside, I ended up underneath someone’s bed, but before I could crawl out from the tight space, I realized that I was listening to the sounds of something wet and squishy being… Not quite stirred, but like, thrusted, I might say. It didn’t sound like sex, so I wasn’t sure why it sounded so squishy, so I pondered that for a little while. Pinkie might be crazy enough to bake in her room, or even to make candy, and that’s what I assumed she was doing until I realized that I smelled blood and plenty of it. I crawled from underneath the bed and sat up, turning my night vision on since it was damn near pitch black in the room. I didn’t like what I saw and when my eyes met Pinkies, we nodded simultaneously and I got the fuck outta dodge.

With images stained to my eyes that I didn’t need, I went back home, found my weed and immediately lit up. I really wasn’t trying to think about what I’d caught Pinkie doing this time, so I smoked a bowl on my porch and stared out into the Whitetail Woods before whispering Nashoba’s name into the air. Something just told me to speak to her, and within a few minutes of waiting, I heard the wind in the trees shift. A black blur lept onto my porch and trotted over to sit next to me.

“Hullo, lovely pupper. How’ve you been?” I asked lazily.

“I’ve been fine. You smell like that reeking plant.” Nashoba replied.

“A lotta plants reek, pupper, but I like the one I smell like.”

“I know you do. It’s good to see you again.”

“It’s good to see you too, which is why I asked for you. I was hoping that you had the spare time to come and see me.” I started packing another bowl.

She licked her chops. “I always have spare time for you. Would you happen to have any of the cooked meat nearby?”

I set my pipe down and got up. “It’s exactly where I left it. I’d offer to go hunt with you some more, but I’m fucking lit right now.”

“We could always wait until you’re not ‘lit’ to go hunting. Or we could do it tonight.” Nashoba suggested.

I’m supposed to be cuddling with Twilight all night, but I suppose we could bear to spend a little more time apart.” I sighed.

“If you don’t want to, we don’t have to. We can go hunting tomorrow.”

“Let’s do it tomorrow night then. In the meantime, I got the meat.” I lead the way inside with Nashoba dogging my heels.

I was pulling dried meat out of my icebox when Nashoba said, “We really should spend more time together.”

I remained silent for a little bit. “Sometime soon I’m going to end up heading toward the Everfree and I’ll be gone for another few weeks. I need to learn how to use some new-ish magic I have so it’ll either have to be sooner or later.”

“I could come along with you. A soundless journey into the Everfree sounds like a good way to spend time there to me.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s something I have to do alone, Nashoba. I don’t really want to, but I don’t exactly have much in the way of options on this.” I handed her a few strips of jerky and started snacking on some myself.

She snapped the meat up and chewed as canines tend to. “It’s a shame then. What magic are you going into the Everfree to learn?”

“True Theft. My True Magic lets me steal pretty much anything as long as it is a thing, but the problem is that I can’t use it until I learn how to grasp it in the first place.”

“And you have to go into the Everfree alone to learn this because…? You may be able to handle yourself perfectly fine, but I don’t know how your mate will take to you leaving her so quickly after coming back a week late.”

I chewed on some tough, dry meat. “...I don’t plan on leaving again so soon, but I need to get it done as quickly as possible. One way or another, I have to learn how to use this magic or we’ll be fucked when it comes to The War.”

Nashoba barked out a laugh, though I’m not saying that because she’s a wolf. “We’ll be 'fucked' either way, Max. This war will claim so many lives, it will not be comprehensible by many if any of the minds currently available today-”

“Shit, speak for yourself.” I snorted. “My world has already had two World Wars in which millions upon millions of people died. I really don’t want Equestria to have to go through something so shitty, especially if it means that so many people are going to die because of some crazy ass lowercase ‘G’ god.”

“Would you feel any better if it was a capital ‘G’ god?”

“I know this dimension’s capital G. They’re cool enough most of the time, but They’re the one letting Discord do as he pleases.” I said solemnly.

Nashoba yawned. “Well, either way we’ll be fighting together, yes? Even if you wish to avoid the death of a million, we will have a chance to battle together and see how strong we have truly grown.”

“Tch. You’re a whirling dervish of fangs and claws and I’m a savage beast with a sword in hand. I imagine we’ll both be animals on the field of battle, and I mean that in the scariest of ways.”

“Indeed. Sister Twilight has told me that your training was difficult, but that you were making it through just fine according to your mentors. Would you like to comment on that at all?”

“I made it through.”

“...Is there anything else?”

I looked at her and flexed. “Do I seem any more appetizing to you?”

“Yes, you seem a good deal meatier than before, but I would not eat you. You have grown stronger.”

“I have. Celestia tried to break my mind and Luna broke my body. That’s all I really want to say on the matter.”

“Aren’t I your closest confidant? Your sister in battle, heart, and spirit? A half to your whole?” Nashoba asked.

“...I will tell you, but it won’t be me who speaks.”

She tilted her head. “I don’t understand.”

I flipped a switch by snapping softly, going into Prince Mode. “Of course not, my most favoured canine. It would be difficult for you to understand something you have yet to witness.”

Nashoba stared at me for a moment and sniffed me. “...You smell different. You feel different.”

I flipped the switch off with a snap and went back to ‘Max’. “I wasn’t aware that so much changed other than my demeanor. I think the smell part might be new.”

“And you’re back to normal… That truly is one of the oddest things I have ever witnessed. Do you know why you can do that?”

“I changed my way of thinking.” I said simply.

“Explain.”

“Of course. While I was training under Celestia and Luna, I had so much flowing into my mind twenty-four seven that there just wasn’t enough space in my head at the time to absorb everything, to make sense of what I was learning. Eventually, I cast my personality aside and started acting differently for each of them. You could say that I created two separate Paths other than the one I follow currently to help me get through the tough times, and switching between those Paths makes me act and perceive differently. I wouldn’t be surprised if I accidentally gave myself multiple personalities much like the Great Pink Menace herself.”

Nashoba tilted her head. “I have met beings with multiple personalities that reside within the same form. You are not one of them.”

“That’s why I initially said Paths instead of personalities. Pinkie has separate Paths she follows too, if what she told me is anything to go by. Now I just have to figure out which one if the correct one for me to learn True Theft with.”

“The original, if I’m not mistaken. If you had the power before you split your mind into the separate paths, then it would make sense for you to have to master your power as you are.” She sat down . “Snack please.”

I held another large strip out to her and continued munching on my own. “I guess you’re right. I’ll probably play with the different paths and see if I can come to a different understanding through meditation. Speaking of, have you ever met Noir?”

“On multiple occasions. The Shadow Realm holds many secrets and what we’ve spoken about I cannot share with you. Just know that Noir was a Matriarch to the Dire Wolves in her own right back in her day.”

I raised my brows and chewed. “Really now? My sweet little Blackberry was affiliated with you lethal lot?”

Nashoba snorted. “Noir is anything but sweet. That bitch is the most brutal thing on two legs and my mother loves her.”

“So which Wolfmother did she actually get to know?” I asked.

“I believe she was either Shira or Bhima’s-” She tilted her head. “She was Shira’s companion. Noir, like you, was marked as a companion of the Wolfmothers.”

“Huh. So does that mean that I’m like, destined for greatness or a fucktonne of suffering?”

“Maybe neither. Maybe both. Keep in mind that we are heading towards the largest war since about two thousand years in the past and it will be the largest one this world has seen on terms of global involvement. Things will be tough, but you will be a capable warrior, I am sure.”

I nodded. “This is gonna suck, but I think I’m already putting together a squad of fighters I want by my side.”

“I have to be one of them. Who are the others?” She asked.

“Pinkie Pie, definitely.” I said gravely.

Nashoba laughed for awhile until she realized that she was laughing alone. “...You’re actually serious? Not jokingly serious, but legitimately so?”

I nodded. “You don’t know Pinkie like I know Pinkie. If she’ll accept my offer, then I want her by my side.”

“...I know the pup is heavily unbalanced, but do you think she has the stomach for killing?”

“I know for a fact that she does. I’ll talk to her later today if I can, but in the meantime, I just heard someone step onto my stoop.”

“So did I. Shall we put the meat away?”

I took one last bite and tossed the rest to Nashoba. “Taken care of in one. Let’s go see who our visitor is.”

I was walking toward my front door when I heard the magical chime go, so I flipped off my ceiling and opened the door with Nashoba by my side. I heard her heart skip a beat and I felt mine do the same damn thing when we realized who we were looking at.

Crimson fucking Tide stood in front of me, smug smirk on his face and everything.

The guy looked like he had- No, he looked better than he had when he’d come to me with his newfound knowledge of Celestia’s ruse, of her grand scheme and I couldn’t help but reach forward and poke him to make sure he was real. I mean, fucking Christ! The last time I’d seen the guy he was fucking dead and that made so many questions run through my head. Where the fuck did he come from? Didn’t Celestia make him not alive no more? Why would he show up now of all times? What? Where? Who brought him back? Why is he here? Why do I sense the Everfree within him? Wait, what was that last bit?

“Crimson?” I asked softly.

He swatted my hand away and hugged me. “You said that I had to show that I care about my friends sometime, right? This is me showing that I care, Max.”

I have no clue how to play this. “Mate… Where have you been?”

He let me go and grimaced, touching his horn. “The thing is, I don’t really know to be honest with you. Apparently I was just disappeared for a year and a half and Princess Luna eventually found me in the middle of the Everfree, stuck in some huge plant, completely unconscious, dead to the world. She broke me out and sent me off to the Crystal Empire to work for Princess Cadenza for awhile, but when Princess Cadenza found out that I knew you, she asked if I’d like to come see you. It’s been a good while, hasn’t it, Max?”

I blinked at him. “Uh… Come in? Yeah, yeah, come in have a seat. You remember Nashoba, right? Well, you knew her as Lupa, but she goes by Nashoba now.”

Nashoba stared at him. “Hello, Crimson.”

He jumped and stared at her. “What the buck!? You talk!?”

“For the past two years, give or take a few months. Come in, we have much to talk about.” She turned around and trotted into the living room.

I stared at Crimson for a few more seconds and waved him in. “Can I get you anything, mate? I don’t have much in the way of fruits or veggies, but I’ll make a fucking cake or something. It’s just one of those kinds of occasions.”

“Have any bourbon? I’ve been getting hit on by mares ever since I stepped off the train and there hasn’t been a stallion that I’d like to talk to that’s said hi to me either.” Crimson said, hanging his completely unnecessary coat on my coat rack.

“Bourbon I have. Feel free to do some catching up with Nashoba while I grab it from the cellar.”

He nodded. “I’d like to know how she came to start talking.”

“She always could, but I’ll let her explain that bit to you. It’s bourbon time.” I said.

While I went down to the cellar, I just took a moment to sit and stare for awhile. Fucking Crimson… How the fuck? I was sure… So fucking sure that Celestia had iced him, then and there! How did she…? I heard his fucking heart stop beating! I know for a fact that I did! Crimson Tide was dead before he left my house unless Celestia… I needed to figure out what the fuck had happened. I can’t say that I was mad that Crimson was actually okay, but when someone comes back from the fucking dead and you saw them die, things start getting real complicated in the noggin and I’m just not cut out for this kind of ridiculousness! Fucking shite! I know I can't really talk since I've come back from the dea multiple times, but fucking still!

I grabbed a random bottle of bourbon out of the half dozen or so I had left and headed back upstairs. Nashoba was giving the undead in my living room a rundown of why she could talk now and what the markings on her fur meant while I grabbed some crystal, but I thought better of it and grabbed two of my larger tumblers and put some ice cubes in them. Crimson gave me a nod when I sat next to him. He’d taken my Goddamn easy chair, so I had to take the lounger next to it, though it’s not like pouring our drinks was any harder because of it. We both drained our glasses in one go and I refilled them since I assumed he needed a drink as badly as I needed one.

Nashoba finished up with her tale and Crimson asked me to start on mine, so I had to go back to the bag of shit I’d taken to Canterlot with me and pull out my journal and find the entry where we’d last met. From there, I told him about some shit that, if you’ve read this far, you should already know about. Check the thirty-first collection of entries and continue on until now if you need a recap, Cherry, Hun. If I don’t call you Cherry or Hun, then I hope your death is slow, painful, and public. I hope you’re stripped naked in front of thousands and your privates get whacked with a paddle until they fall off. Seriously, fuck you.

When I was done with my stories, I asked, “So what have you been up to, mate? It’s been awhile since I’ve been back to the Crystal Empire. I can’t imagine you were sent there because it was an easy deal.”

He blushed and scratched his face. “Actually, I was sent there to train more Operatives and do a few simple missions. It really was an easy assignment, as far as our- Er, well, my line of work goes. You’re not really an Operative anymore now are you?” He pointed to my ring.

It was my turn to blush, but before I could speak, a note flashed before my eyes and I snatched it out of the air. It had Cadance’s seal on it, so I said, “Give me a sec, will you? I’ve gotta see what Candy Arse wants.”

Crimson waved a hand. “Take your time. It’s not like I’m in a hurry.”

I glanced at him, brow raised. “How much time do you have, if you don’t mind me asking?”

His smirk returned. “Read the note. I’m pretty sure I know what it is.”

I jerked my head toward him in a small motion and cracked the seal before unfurling the note. To paraphrase and not rewrite the damned thing, Cadance basically said that she was happy to send Crimson back to meet up with me since we knew we had a history and that we were fond of each other, which I thought was rather nice of her. She went on to explain that her top Operative, Scarlet Snow, had come back from a deep cover mission and was going to take over Crimson’s position as trainer since he wanted to come back to Equestria anyway. Cadance went on to explain that she thought having Crimson around would be good for me, though she didn’t use those exact words, and the basic gist of what she’d been leading up to was that she though Crimson should be the first Operative I employed and that Celestia as well as Luna had signed off on it.

I was fucking staggered.

When I finished up with the letter, I folded it and held it against my lips for a moment. I turned to Crimson and said, “So what else have you been up to?”

“...Not much? Training and missions I can’t really talk about with anyone other than… Well, I guess I could talk to you about them, and Lu- Nashoba, doesn’t really count as a Pony per se. I guess I’ve just been helping out with the rising problems with a few Gryphon nobles that don’t like having Pony lands on either side of them, one to the north and one to the south. The nitty gritty details are a little boring since it’s mostly just been blackmail and bribery, but you know. Operative stuff.” Crimson sighed.

“Right. So you’re technically under my employment now.” I said casually.

He gave me a look. “I kinda figured that, bud.”

“Put some respek on my name, faggot.” I said in the stupidest accent I’d ever heard on Earth.

Crimson rolled his eyes. “If we hadn't worked together through so much, I might consider doing that.”

“Shit, people who knew me before I was a prince still give me more respect these days, but I guess I can let it slide since it’s you.” I shrugged. “So whatever happened with Braeburn?”

Crimson frowned. “He didn’t quite understand that I hadn't disappeared because of work or anything I had control over-”

“I feel you so hard right now, you don’t even understand.”

“...You’re not touching me?” He tilted his head slowly.

“It’s a saying from my world. I understand how that feels, mate. You know I do.” I said sadly.

He nodded. “Yeah. You were gone a little longer than I was, weren’t you?” I nodded. “At least your lover held on for you…”

I put a hand on his shoulder while he drained his glass. “Have you seen Braeburn since you’ve been back?”

“Yeah. That’s when he told me to buck off and never come back.”

“...Maybe it’s just the Apple Family, mate. His cousin still hates me too for a similar reason.”

Crimson shrugged. “Wanna go talk to her? You said it’s been a month since she’s seen you, so maybe she’s cooled off?”

I looked at him, then to Nashoba who’d laid down while we were talking. “How’s that sound to you, lazy pup?”

“I burn more energy in two minutes than you do in two days, fool. I don’t want to go see Applejack in particular, but we could introduce the newest addition to your household to your friends.” She replied.

I nodded and stood, stretching. “Sounds good to me. Let me grab a shower and change clothes so I can be presentable.”

Crimson nodded and I starting heading upstairs before I came right back down. “Oi, mate! Do you have a place to stay while you’re working with me, or am I supplying you with a place to stay?”

He shrugged. “I don’t really know. Princess Cadenza just teleported me here after a few days of planning. I have my own bits, so I can rent a room for a few weeks while we get things sorted out.”

“Fuck that, I have a house with at least seven to eight spare rooms. Pick one of em’ that isn’t mine and use my Dragon Fire to have Cadance send your shit here.”

“All of my ‘shit’,” He threw up some air quotes, “is at an inn right now. I’ll just grab it later or something.”

“Cool. Once we get your crap, I’ll send the girls and whoever a note to come over so we can have a proper meet and greet. Do you know of anyone you want to come over?” I asked.

“Just my old mentor, Daisy Carnival.” Crimson shrugged.

I blinked. “He dated me mum, mate. Left her in her darkest hour.”

Crimson locked eyes with me. “...Invite him anyway. Once you’re done, I’m having a turn.”

We nodded simultaneously and I went to go take my shower. I wore something that I’d never thought I’d actually wear: A white button down that Twilight made me get a long time ago. It felt like a good occasion for it, so I threw it on and paired it with some black trousers and got on with my day after applying some scented oil that I’d missed fiercely. I liked my cologne and smelly good things, what can I say? Being in Canterlot, I hadn't had a chance to use or even have any of it, so I always felt like I didn’t smell good and that just bothered me to no end, but now that I was home, you could be sure that I was going to (sparingly) use it.

I met Crimson and Nashoba downstairs and we started walking toward town. Nashoba mentioned how it felt like old times, walking somewhere like there was a mission to be done and that made us dive into the nostalgia surrounding the Gryphonia missions. Crimson didn’t remember me ever telling him about the second one, so my pupper and I traded telling the story back an forth, embellishing here and there while trying to keep things believable. I tried to tone down the bloody bits, but the bitch told Crimson about ripping off someone’s beak and he actually chuckled darkly at that, stating that he’d always hated fighting Gryphons because of their damn pecking.

We came into town quickly enough, though the inn Crimson had been teleported was in the newer part of town. I had a decent idea of where I was going, but Nashoba lead the way since she was the most familiar with the area. Crimson didn’t have much to carry with him, so I just Shadow Dived us back to my house, surprising the fuck out of my new and only employee. He hadn't known that I could teleport and immediately identified it.

“Max?” Crimson asked a few moments after we surfaced in my house.

“Yeah mate?” I asked, running a hand through my hair.

“...That was Dark Magic, was it not?”

“It was. I’m chock full of the shit, mate. Don’t mistake that for me being evil, though.”

“...Right, it’s just that evil things tend to have Dark Magic.” He said cautiously.

I gave him a look. “You can kill someone more easily with Unicorn Magic than Dark Magic, you know that? With Unicorn Magic, you can take the air from someone’s lungs and suffocate them as long as you’re slightly above average. You have to be adept or an expert with Dark Magic to be able to make someone stop breathing. My mentor taught me that lesson in person, and Luna herself reinforced it when I tried using Dark Magic to make her leave me alone.” Training fucking sucked.

Crimson’s brows raised and he pursed his lips, nodding slowly. “It’s not the magic, it’s the user. Daisy used to tell me that.”

“Remember that the next time I start using Dark Magic, mate. I’ll never use it for an outright evil purpose.”

“Do evil for the sake of good and all that, I guess.” I looked at him strangely. “What? It’s the Operative motto!”

“Huh. Never actually heard it. Come on, let’s pick you put a room and we’ll get you settled in.”

“Right-o. Let’s hop to it, bunny-colt.” Crimson said cheesily.

I looked at him like he was retarded. “Mate, are you retarded?”

Crimson blushed and scratched the back of his head, chuckling. “Sorry, I get weird sometimes. Apparently it’s a side effect of the plant Princess Luna found me in.”

“Never call me ‘bunny-colt’ again and it’ll be fine. First things first: upstairs or downstairs?”

“I’m a ground floor kinda guy.”

“Great. Pick a room and schlep your shit on into it. Everyone that has a permanent room here already has decorations on their door, so go for it.”

“Are there already dressers and stuff in the rooms?”

I nodded and he made a ‘Not bad’ kinda face. With him picking a room, I sat down and started writing out notes to the girls, my family, and Onyx so they’d get their arses over here and started making a cake because fuck it, why not? I tried making a few, and with Crimson’s queer eye helping the straight guy, we actually managed to make some edible shit. The icing was harder to make, but Crimson could actually follow a recipe and I was a decent helper with the bits to go shopping for what we needed, so two hours after I’d gotten all of my notes sent out, I had multiple flavours of cake with two different kinds of icing for my ten guests. I was rather glad for the ridiculous amount of seating Celestia had allotted for me.

Before the party started, however, Crimson and I were welcoming in the guests, and when the girls and Spike came in, we told them to have a seat and have some cake. Trixie was with them, and Twilight gave me a kiss before shaking Crimson’s hand, though she wanted to know why someone she’d never met was at my house before she was. It wasn’t like she was upset, so I told her that Crimson was the reason for the party and she stood out on the stoop with us until Blue and Onyx showed up. Blue tried to quickly drag Onyx into the house before Crimson or I could say anything to him, but he let her hand go and I asked Twilight to escort my mother inside so the fellas could have a chat. Once Twilight told me not to fight Onyx and threatened to rescind her promise from earlier if I did, she took Blue inside against her will, leaving Crimson and I to face Onyx.

“You should’ve been a better stallion than that, teach.” Crimson said evenly.

Onyx nodded. “I should’ve, but I wasn’t.”

“Then what was it?” He asked.

“Head inside. You’re disappointed, but Max is a lot more than that.”

Crimson looked at me and I gave him a nod, not taking my eyes off of Onyx. “...I’ll see you inside, Max.”

I waited for him to close the door to ask, “Why?”

“I lost my first wife to that same grief. I was too weak to lose another one to it.”

I nodded. “I understand.”

“Do you, son?” Onyx asked grimly.

“In a manner of speaking. I ran from my brother when he was wasting away, when I thought there was nothing left to love.”

Onyx grit his teeth. “I knew better.”

“I know you did, Onyx. That’s why I haven’t killed you and made everyone in that house forget you ever existed. You’re a good man who was weak, and I can forgive you for that.”

“...I don’t deserve it.”

“Most people deserve a second chance. If Blue went back to you, then I trust it was because she knew about your wife.”

“She said she came back because I tried for so long.” He replied.

“Tried to keep her hopes up as long as you could.”

“...It didn’t work.” He growled.

“I know. It was a wound only I could heal. A lot of things broke when I left, Onyx, and I know now that the only reason they’re coming back together is because I’m back.”

He waited for me to say something else, but when I didn’t, he said, “There’s more.”

“Treat her like she’s your own heart. Never put her aside again, Daisy Carnival.”

He extended a hand. “I only make a mistake once.”

I shook it. “See to it that stays true.”

“On pain of death.” He promised.

“On pain of life longer than you thought you’d ever live.” I swore.

He gave me an odd look, but still nodded. “Can I go be with her again?”

I nodded. “You’re too old to be wasting much more time with me.”

“Shut up, kid.”

“Bite me, old goat.”

We came inside and Lupa was stealing the couch until I levitated her off of it. I then brought Twilight over and sat her next to me on my left side while Onyx took my right along with Blue. Twilight complained that I’d made her leave her cake behind until I reminded her that she could literally teleport it into her own hands, which made her blush and earned us a few chuckles from around the room. Unfortunately, my entrance had interrupted Crimson’s introduction, so he picked up where he left off and went around the room shaking hands before returning to his seat. I asked if anyone would like refreshments, alcoholic or not and got requests for a lot of stuff, so I had Twilight help me with some of it while Crimson answered questions and evaded others that were about his extremely personal life or about his Operative work. He happily talked about his time as a guard, however, though that was all I heard before I went into the celllar with Twilight.

When we got to the bottom of the stairs, she stopped me. “Alright, a month ago, you were ready to tear Onyx to pieces. What changed?”

I shrugged. “I felt like taking the diplomatic route. I wanted to hear him out before sending him into the middle of the Everfree to rot and die. I’m sure what he told me is supposed to remain between us, so I’m not going to tell you, but I understood where he was coming from. He had a reason for leaving Blue that I could understand, even if I still didn’t like it.”

“...That’s really mature of you, Max. Wow… I thought you were going to shout at him and send him home.” Twilight stared at me.

I gave her a hurt look. “I can be mature when I need to be! God, it’s like you see me as a fucking child or something.”

Twilight crossed her arms. “I’m not falling for that at all.”

I flipped her off. “Shove it.” I brushed past her to start grabbing wine and a bottle of something nice and stout.

“I’m still not falling for it! You’re not even upset” Twilight said, following me around.

I handed the bottles of wine to her. “Just go upstairs or something, will you? I wouldn’t be upset if you would’ve denied it or something.” I muttered.

Twilight huffed. “You might be a good actor, but I’m not-”

I shot her a mild glare and she looked away. “...Maybe I should go upstairs.”

I handed her a small bottle of whiskey. “Take that to Onyx, please. I know he likes the brand.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Max, it’s just that I really… Well… You can be really confrontational at times, and I thought that doing something as severe as Onyx did would set you off.”

“I’m a prince, Twilight. I can’t afford to be going off on people whenever I want anymore. It makes me look bad and it makes Equestria look bad too.”

“...I guess I didn’t think you were going to change all that much after going to Canterlot. Your personality’s just so strong that I assumed you would be the same old Max…”

I closed my eyes and sighed. “You realize that you basically just said that you think I am and assumed that I’m just some prick, right?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it!” Twilight said, worried.

“Then what did you mean, Twilight?” I asked. “You had to tell me not to fight Onyx and you jumped to the conclusion that I was going to have a shouting match with him anyway, even after spending time in The Guard and in the tutelage of the Princesses. You’re saying that you don’t I’m mature or responsible, and I’m hearing that you think I’m a violent arsehole who’s never going to change, so what do you honestly think of me?”

She was stuck, but I didn’t want to be mad at her, so I chose not to be. Instead, I calmly walked over and cupped her cheek, though she looked away from me. I kissed the exposed cheek and asked, “You love me anyway, no matter what, right?”

Twilight levitated the bottles she was holding and held my hand to her cheek. “Of course, amour. You know that.”

“And that’s what I’m going to focus on.” I kissed her cheek again. “Come along, cherry. Put on a happy face for our friends and cheer up.”

“Max, that’s not the kind of pony I want to be.” Twilight said softly.

“...Then we can talk it out down here. Address what you want.”

“...I don’t think you’re some violent foal, it’s just that… Well, you fight a lot-”

“And yet we’ve talked about how it’s usually other people who incite those fights.” I interrupted.

“...Right. I know you can change, Max, but I didn’t think that you would be so willing to accept ponies trying to change you is all I was trying to say.” Twilight said, her voice pleading.

I nodded and decided to throw her a bone. “I didn’t want to in the slightest, but I told you that Celestia and Luna were going to break and reshape me, Twilight. I don’t bend very well.”

Twilight looked rather disturbed by that. “Max, what are you trying to say?”

I tilted my head and furrowed my brow. “Exactly what I just said.”

“...It sounds like you’re saying that you’re not the same pony.”

“I just proved that I’m not, didn’t I?”

“...What happened while you were training, Amour?” She asked softly.

“I was broken and found ways to put myself back together so I could carry on. The Max you know and love is still here, cherry, and he’s never going away. There’s just… Different sides to me now, you could say. The Prince, the Person, and the Primal.”

Fear entered her gaze. “What does that even mean?”

I snapped and felt the shift. “Celestia broke off a piece and made me into a proper prince.” I snapped again, shifting again. “Luna broke off a piece and made it into lethal combatant.” One more snap and shift. “And I kept the largest piece for myself, as myself.”

Twilight looked like she was about to cry, so I leaned down and kissed her, holding her gently, but she pushed me away after a moment. “Max…”

“Yes, Cherry?”

“What… I… How are you just…” She sniffled.

“I’m tough, Twilight, and never let anyone tell you any different.” I gave her an easy smirk. “Now I just have more smooth edges than rough ones.”

“Max, I’ve never heard anypony describe being broken as a good thing!”

I shrugged. “Celestia and Luna are broken too, just in different ways. I’d describe my ideas to you, but I think they’d hit me for doing that.”

Twilight hugged me and let out a thick sob. I started levitating the bottles since I felt like she was about to drop them and held her close. “Really, Cherry. I’m okay. It’s over and I don’t have to go through it again, so let it out and let yourself feel better, okay? I’ve already made my peace with it, so take your time and just ruin this shirt, okay?”

She let out a weak chuckle and hugged me tighter. “I love you. Even if you aren’t the same pony anymore.”

“In fairness, I’m pretty sure that means that I’ve become a better person already, which was the goal all along if you recall.”

“I just… I thought it would be something you wanted to happen.”

“I got what I wanted, just not how I wanted it. Trust me, cherry, I’m fine as I am now,” I think, “and we’ll be fine. Little misunderstanding cleared up and all.”

“...I’m sorry I called you immature and violent.”

“Next time you call me immature I’m gonna punch ya.”

That earned me another little chuckle and Twilight looked up at me. “Why do you always take me on an emotional roller coaster?”

“Wait, you guys have those in Equestria?”

“Emotional roller coasters?”

“Roller coasters! We’ve gotta go to an amusement park!”

Twilight screwed her face up and started laughing until I licked her horn. That turned her laughter into a moan and made her hit me. “Stop doing that! I’m still not okay with what happened the last time!”

I rolled my eyes. “Oi! It’s not really your fault or mine. We didn’t know that a hornjob would end with you trying to fuck me like tomorrow wasn’t coming!”

She blushed and hit me again before clearing her eyes. “Alright, I’m cheered up. You can stop.”

“Stop what? I’m just being me.” I grinned.

She smiled and gave me a kiss. “Yes you are. Come on, let’s go get everypony their drinks.”

And so we did. When we got up the stairs, The room was awfully quiet, so Twilight and I got to pouring drinks and I surveyed the situation. Applejack was throwing a heated glare Crimson’s way and he was coolly avoiding looking at her. When everyone had their drinks, Twilight and I sat back down and she held my arm, likely sensing the tense atmosphere in the room.

I snapped my fingers softly and went into Prince Mode. “Alright Applejack, Crimson. Would one of you like to explain what’s going on?”

Crimson shook his head. “I’ve said my peace on the matter already.”

Applejack’s lip curled. “This buckhead thinks he can use the same excuse you had for breakin’ my cousin’s heart!”

“I find it highly unlikely that Crimson was teleported to his homeworld by a galactic superpower seeing as how this is his homeworld. I assure you that Crimson wasn’t lying when he said that he was in some plant in the Everfree for the duration of his absence, Applejack. Both of us would know if he were lying, so please; calm yourself or remove yourself. There is no need for hostility.” I said, exuding politeness and tact, if I do say so myself.

The cowgirl snorted. “Just cause it’s true doesn’t excuse him!”

“How so?” I asked neutrally. “The ability to go and see Braeburn was stolen from Crimson tide against his will. There was no way for him to know that not avoiding being effectively eaten by a plant would rob him of his freedom for an extended period of time, and I am also sure that Crimson told you that he had to be freed by one of the most powerful beings on the planet, Princess Luna. Applejack, is there something else bothering you, or are you truly upset at this poor ‘stallion’ who had a year and a half of his life taken from him by force?”

Applejack glared at me. “There ain’t nothin botherin’ me besides this colt thinkin’-”

“Thinking what, Applejack?” Twilight asked. “Thinking that something that clearly wasn’t his fault wasn’t his fault?”

“We’re not goin’ through this again, Twi.” Applejack said stubbornly.

I tilted my head from side to side. “When one hears the same thing multiple times from different sources, it tends to be correct. Not always, but most often.”

Applejack rose from her seat. “I’m goin’ home.”

Rainbow sighed. “Come on, AJ! Why don’t you just forgive somepony for once?”

Before Applejack could speak, I said, “It is Applejack’s choice when and to whom she gives her forgiveness. No one will bar you from leaving if you feel unwelcome Applejack, but know that you’re still a friend to me, whether or not you have forgiven me or Crimson.”

Applejack blushed hard and walked out silently. When we heard the door close, Rarity coughed. “Max, if I may?” I nodded in her direction. “That was a very mature way to handle a heated situation.”

Twilight squeezed my arm a bit tighter. “He’s already using what he’s learned, right? I’m so proud!”

Blue leaned around Onyx and gave me a brilliant smile. “So am I, baby. That easily could’ve been a shouting match before you went to Canterlot.”

I snapped softly again. “You know what? Fuck you guys, I’m gonna argue with the next person who says something to me, just to prove a point!”

“Argue with me, I dare you.” Blue said, looking me dead in the eyes.

“Whatever, Mum.” I mumbled.

That lightened the mood and got everyone laughing again, so that was nice. I started cracking jokes, a few of them bad, to keep the cheer up. When the glasses started getting empty, Twilight and I filled them with magical and non-magical Telekinesis, though everyone was careful to not mention Applejack. Pinkie asked Crimson how long he was going to be in Ponyville and he finally let it slip that he was my first Royal Employee or whatever and Twilight pinched me, asking why I hadn't just told her that. I said that I was going to when everyone left and Crimson didn’t turn out to be one of the people leaving. I got pinched again for that and Onyx congratulated Crimson on being my first ‘stallion’ which made me and Twilight giggle like fucking children even after the others stopped laughing at the innuendo.

The party ended around midnight and everyone seemed to be in a pretty good mood while leaving, but I asked Pinkie for a word in private, which surprised Twilight and Crimson. Twilight was surprised because she knew Pinkie, and Crimson was surprised because she’d done nothing but act silly and half-retarded throughout the entire party. Still, they both gave me my privacy and I took Pinkie into the sunroom to talk. We sat in silence for a moment, watching Deer poke their heads out of the Everfree until Pinkie broke the silence.

“I’m not really much of a warrior kinda pony, Max.” She said softly.

“I know, but out of our friends, you’re the only one with the stomach for ending lives. Rainbow talks a big game, but she’s too soft. We already saw what happened to Applejack when she thought she killed me. Rarity’s too soft, Fluttershy wouldn’t hurt a fly, and Twilight… I don’t want her to experience bloodshed first hand. She’ll see it, I’m sure, but you’re the only one out of everyone who would even survive on the battlefield.”

She looked at me and I returned her gaze. “Max, I’m a murderer, not a warrior. Just because I can end lives doesn't mean I can be effective in The War.”

I scoffed. “You’re one of the most powerful beings on this planet, Pinkie. You don’t have to have a sword in your hand to take care of business like a rank-and-file or myself. You get places no one else can, do things no one else can do. If I didn’t have complete faith that you could do what I’ll ask you to do, I wouldn’t ask you to do it.”

“Those who can should be those who do.” Pinkie sighed. She leaned forward in her seat and stared out of the window. “I’m not saying that I won’t, Max, but… You understand what The Paths are like. I won’t necessarily have that kind of control to just stop at one battalion, you know?”

“Trust me to be able to direct you where you need to go, Pinkie, or trust yourself to follow me. Whether you want to be used as an Operative or a soldier, I’ll support and protect you, no matter what.” I reached out for her hand.

She grasped mine. “To think: you used to be terrified of me and my insanity.”

“I got less scared when I realized there was more to it than you just doing whatever because you felt like it.”

Pinkie giggled. “No, I still do that sometimes too, but these days I try to make more ponies happy. For every pony I make happy, I get to do something goofy!”

“That explains why Ponyville is such a pleasant place. Speaking of, I heard you found the perfect guy for you.” I wiggled my brows at her.

Pinkie’s grin grew. “And the sex was crazy! I can’t wait until Cheese Sandwich is ready to settle down!”

“Ahh, he’s still got the wanderlust thing going on?”

“Like a lot of young stallions, he sure does. Hopefully the Patented Pinkie Pussy draws him back!”

“Oh my God, what the fuck, Pinkie?” I laughed.

“See? Another pony made happy by the Triple P and I didn’t even have to use it!” She gave me a half lidded smile. “Unless…?”

“Still not happening, Pinks, but thanks for the offer.”

“Thanks for the job! So when do I go on my first Operative mission?” She asked excitedly.

“Do you know how to fight?” I asked.

“Does hitting Ponies with a skillet faster than they can blink count?”

“It does as long as you’re knocking them out or killing them.”

“I’m more of a knife kinda girl when it comes to killing.”

“I understand that feeling.” I pulled my old dirk out from my boot and thought about the enchantment I should put on the Seal.

I conjured my Seal up and thought about ‘Danger Sensing’ before condensing it so that it would fit on the blade. Once I had it small enough, I placed it on the blade and it glowed brightly for a moment. I levitated the knife absent mindedly for a moment and detached the sheath from my boot so I could give that to Pinkie too, though I made sure to give it a sniff before just giving the thing to her. It was a little on the stinky side, so I figured I’d give it a vinegar bath before handing it off to her.

I still held the knife out to Pinkie handle first and she took it from me gingerly. “Max, does this mean…?”

“If you’re willing to accept me as your friend and prince, I’d be happy to have you as a colleague.” I gave her a smile.

“If I didn’t have something sharp in my hand I’d hug you! Even now I’m still tempted!” Pinkie beamed brilliantly. “I have to keep this a secret right?”

“Play it close to the chest if you can. I don’t want Celestia finding out that I just made one of the Elements of Harmony one of my own Agents just yet.”

“I’ll have your back, Max! On one little condition!”

I nodded. “Name it and we’ll see.”

“Give me the sheath.”

I raised a brow and handed it to her. When she sniffed, I said, “Really? Your fealty for smelly foot smells?”

“Hey, some mares just like things and your sweat smells phenomenal!”

“I’m going to pretend that you didn’t just say that. How do you plan on carrying that, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I have a thigh sheath that I don’t use. It’s supposed to be for my crop, but a couple alterations here and there oughta do the trick!”

I tilted my head toward her. “Sexy as fuck. You said you wanted to be an Operative, right?”

“I sure did and I sure do! I’m not a frontliner at all.” Pinkie finished with a sad look.

“Well, everyone I have planned to go to war with me so far isn’t exactly a tank. Well, besides Nashoba.” We both shivered. “I’ll ask Crimson if he’d be willing to be on my strike force, but there are no guarantees. So far it’s just you, me, and the big black death machine in my living room.”

“Sounds like we’re already off to a good start! Whether or not she realizes it, Nashoba walk The Paths like we do!”

“Speaking of, do you know if one of my Paths will help me learn True Theft better than the others? I know ‘Primal’, as I’m going to start calling it, is good for combat type magic, but I don’t think theft is something that’s really a combat skill. I don’t think ‘Prince’ would let me steal, so I don’t think that one’s going to work, so do you think I need to split another Path or what?”

Pinkie shrugged. “Whatever floats your boat, Max. I can tell you a lot of things, but not how to handle your True Magic. It’s just not how this stuff works, you know?”

I sighed. “Yeah, I get it. Thanks anyways, Pinks.”

She smiled and patted my arm before sticking the dirk in her hair. “Thanks for the knife! I’ll be sure to use it while hunting!”

I nodded. “Just make sure you have evidence or don’t get caught. If you can find a way to bottle memories-”

“Not impossible, but that’s not something I can do. I refuse to take pictures too, because that means somepony’s suffering is going to be there for all to see. No, I’ll stick to my usual methods. Is there anything else you want to talk about, Max?”

I chewed my lip for a moment, a habit I picked up while working with Celestia. “Hmm. If you can get me intel on what countries are looking to go to war with Equestria and her allies, I’d be thrilled to hear that list.”

“I’ll take another day off work. It’s not like I ever use my vacation days anyways.” Pinkie muttered.

“Thanks, Pinkie. Once I get Crimson on board, we’ll start getting him active too-”

“That’s not necessary. Nashoba can’t keep you safe all the time and Twilight needs protecting. Have Crimson stay on as your bodyguard or have him investigate the new quarters at night since you wanted to check them out anyway.” Pinkie suggested.

“Huh. New face in town checking out the scene might turn up more results than I would. Yeah, I’ll have him do that sometime this week before I head into the Everfree to train.”

Pinkie smiled. “I’m glad to hear that you’re finally doing something about that! A lot of ponies coming in through the bad part of town need to be put in check since the police aren’t going to do anything about it.”

“Twilight and I will handle the judiciary business, or at least, I’ll set it up so she and Crimson will have their run of the place. Which reminds me, I need to set Crimson up with a Seal.”

“You could always put it on his hand!”

I shook my head. “Nah, shit hurts a lot. I’ll probably stick it on a knife or something.”

“Are all of your squad members going to get knives?” She asked judgementally.

“They do me just fine.” I sniffed.

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Maxxy. Speaking of your squad, what are you gonna name it?”

“Uh…” I chewed my lip again. “I guess I could go with something Latin since my full name is supposed to be Latin.”
‘

“Why not ‘Adstus’? It means craft, cunning, or guile.” Pinkie suggested, bouncing her brows.

“Because I’m a cunning thief. Yeah, I get it. I like Adstus.” I bobbed my head from side to side. “Adstus. Has a nice ring to it.”

Pinkie beamed. “Nice to have some input on the team! If there’s nothing else, Crimson’s put me in the mood for some furious activities that you don’t wanna hear about!”

“...I forgot he was handsome. Eh, there’s nothing else. Have at thee in your own home, Pinkie.”

“Planned on it!” She bounced out of the room and I followed her at a much more sedate pace.

I walked into the living room to find Crimson and Twilight looking at Pinkie as she left before they picked up their conversation where they left off. I cuddled up next to Twilight and paid a little attention, but they were talking about something that didn’t really involve me, so I looked around for Nashoba and found that she was laid out on the floor nearby. I got up from Twilight’s side and went to go pet her for a little bit, and when I got to her belly, her tongue lolled out and she rolled over onto her back to give me easier access. I gave her a good ten minutes of tummy love until I went off to go find my bowl so I could do some good old fashioned pottery. Heh, pottery. Get it? Because pottery’s already a thing and weed is- You know what? Fuck you if you didn’t chuckle.

Nashoba got up and followed me around for a little bit as I searched for the silverwood pipe, and when I found it and my box of weed, I took it back into the living room. She hopped up on the sectional next to Twilight and I took the other side, packing my pipe and lighting it with the fire Noir and Luna had taught me how to use. I didn’t notice that the conversation that had been going on stopped abruptly until I realized that Twilight wasn’t taking the pipe from me when I passed it to her.

“...Is something wrong?” I asked, smoke pluming out of my mouth.

“...Max, did you just light that with magic?” Twilight inquired.

“Yeah? What about it?”

She shook her head. “Since when can you do that?”

“Since Luna and my mentor showed me how. It’s useful if I don’t feel like blowing through my matches.”

Crimson coughed. “I don’t really see what the problem is, other than Max having magic when I was previously lead to believe he only had Dark Magic.”

“I have Dark Magic and Alicorn Magic, mate. I can’t use the Alicorn stuff at the moment.” I explained.

“Oh… Well, I guess what I said earlier still stands. No evil magic, just evil ponies.” Crimson said firmly.

“Oh! I’m not trying to say Max is evil, I’m just surprised that he didn’t tell me about any new magic he got while he was away.” Twilight gave me a little look.

I raised a brow at her and she took the pipe from me before the cherry could die. “When was I supposed to tell you? I just got back today and you had stuff to get done. If you want a full run-through, I’ll give it to you.”

She puffed on the pipe a couple of times. “If you don’t mind.”

I rolled my eyes. “I got Dark Fire, the ability to make fire with Dark Magic, as the name implies. I got better with Telekinesis instead of the Psychokinesis I used to use-”

Crimson furrowed his brow. “Aren’t they the same thing? Rather, aren’t they different words for the same thing?”

“They’re similar words, but I use them for different things. I can use Telekinesis to levitate multiple things at the same time, or I can use Psychokinesis to pick up heavier individual things. The Telekinesis can move furniture around, but the Psychokinesis can move boulders up to about three hundred and forty kilos, or-”

“About seven hundred and fifty pounds…” Twilight murmured.

I nodded at her. “Yup. It scales with my physical strength to a point. I used to only be able to pick something up that was about two hundred and twenty or so kilos.”

“About five hundred pounds.” Twilight translated for Crimson.

Crimson raised his brows. “Wow. I guess you’ve gotten better with that ‘psychic tentacle’, haven’t you?”

“I sure have. I didn’t get much of a choice in the matter.”

Twilight passed the pipe back to me. “You keep vaguely hinting at your training, but you don’t ever say what went on.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Crimson nodded. “I understand the feeling. My training as an Operative was absolute Tartarus, and I don’t really talk about that either.”

Twilight looked between us. “Am I the only pony here that hasn’t been through some excruciating journey or training to get what they have?” Yeah, basically.

I patted her head patronizingly. “You’ve been through a difficult journey with the stuff you’ve done for your Alicorn bullshit, it’s just that it took you longer than it took us, so it didn’t seem as bad.”

She smacked my hand away and took my pipe back from me. “You’re getting awfully careless with your words!”

“Blame it on the lack of giving a damn. Is there any cake left?” I asked.

Crimson nodded. “There’s a slice or two. They turned out pretty well, didn’t they?”

“I blame you for that.”

He looked at me funny. “It’s not really blame if it’s a good thing.”

“Shut up and go listen to some trap music or something.” I scolded.

“I don’t know what that is.” Crimson said.

“You should. You’re black, after all.”

Twilight and Crimson looked at his coat. “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.” Twilight said.

“Neither do I.” Crimson added.

I sighed. “It’s a Human thing.”

Nashoba looked at me. “Stop saying stupid things and go to bed.”

Twilight picked the perfect time to yawn. “It is getting rather late.”

Crimson stretched. “It’s been a bit of a day, hasn’t it? I suppose I’ll see you in the morning.”

I checked my pocket watch. “It is the morning. It’s like, one, but I guess I can let your little transgressions slide for the time being.”

Crimson scoffed and headed towards his room. “We’re still going shopping for decorations tomorrow, aren’t we? Not for the house, but for my room.”

“Yeah, you’re still not allowed to decorate my house, but your room is yours to do whatever you want with, mate. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to spend the night with the sweetest cherry, and that cherry just so happens to be purple.” I said offhandedly.

“Here’s hoping the walls are thick.” Crimson muttered.

“They’re thicker than the rocks in your head!” I called from the stairs.

“How the buck did you hear that?” Crimson asked loudly.

“Super hearing. Good night, Crimson.” Twilight said for me.

We headed upstairs and from there, things got nice and cuddly. It was pleasant to have Twilight in my arms again and I could happily say that the wait was worth it, though I was a little sad that we weren’t going to be able to walk around the house naked anymore. It’s not like it was a terribly big loss since we’d never done it in the first place, but it still kinda sucked to no longer have the option. Twilight and I didn’t even really need the privacy, but I had a feeling that Crimson was going to tire of the small town life quickly enough and I wasn’t sure if he was going to find whatever it was that he was looking for here in Ponyville. Hell, I wasn’t even sure why Celestia and Luna had thought it would be a good idea to have a guy I practically killed myself come live with me! I obviously wasn’t going to be able to sleep tonight, so when Twilight suggested that we write in our ‘diaries’ (she has a diary, I have a journal), I agreed and got things done up to somewhere here in the near future. Just keep fucking reading if you’re that curious where I stop. Twilight wrote for a good hour before she wanted to roll over and go to sleep, so I cuddled up to her until she fell asleep and continued exactly where I’d left off without a page break since I’d stopped between paragraphs on the same subject.

There was still something I had to sort out, so I slipped out of bed and got dressed just as silently, stopping every time I heard Twilight stir. Thankfully Shadow Diving was a silent endeavor, so I didn’t have to worry about a soft ‘pop’ waking her up or anything, and the Dive was to one of the two people I wanted to see the least out of everyone I generally liked. When I rose behind the Throne in the Court Hall, I looked around and waved at one of the guards standing behind the Throne. He immediately ran up to me, but I flashed him the Signet Ring and he let me walk around without two words, though Luna had already asked what the commotion was about. When I crossed into her line of sight, she gave me an odd look.

“Maximus. I was under the impression that you didn’t want to see Celestia or myself for awhile.” She said, befuddled.

I folded my arms and responded flatly. “That was before a dead man showed up on my doorstep and gave me a hug.”

Luna actually smiled. “Ahh, I see Crimson has arrived in Ponyville already. He is worthy of being your first employee, is he not?”

“Luna, love, if you could have the guards step out for a moment-”

“Maximus, my friend, they are yours to command. You are a Prince of Equestria, after all.”

I nodded. “Guards! Steward! Please depart from the Court Hall for fifteen minutes, soft time, preferably late!”

We waited for the staff and soldiers to leave before speaking again. “What is it you wish to speak of, Max? I’m sure you’re glad that Crimson is still alive.”

“My emotions on the matter are mixed, Luna. I saw with my own eyes, heard with my own ears that Crimson Tide died by Celestia’s hand. I’m glad my friend is alive, but why the fuck would you think that I’d want someone I was handed a death sentence for as my first employee?” I asked, confused.

Luna shrugged. “Did Celestia ever say that she killed him? Actually, I’m rather sure that I asked her not to.”

I stared at her. “So Celestia ‘killing’ Crimson was…?”

“That was her taking him out of your equation. Celestia and I wanted to see where you stood as far as your morals and your view on what we were doing as rulers, and once we saw that you agreed with us, or rather, Celestia, you were deemed a far more useful person. We had many more plans for you in the coming years, but things got lost in translation and I had Celestia store Crimson in a plant in the Everfree that would allow me to warp his mind so that he sees what you see: two eternal leaders who do the best for their nation based on the Harmonic Values that aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty to keep the peace.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “So what? You didn’t want to lose a good Operative so you faked his death to his friends and lover just for what? Celestia promised to stop warping minds, Luna, not you. You could have done the same shit she used to pull on him and-”

“And what, Maximus? We needed to see where you lie on the matter, as I just explained. Crimson was a good tool to find where your loyalties lay and when we sent him to work with Cadance, he continued being the Operative he once was, and now since you are a member of Equestrian Royalty, he is yours to command. Crimson Tide is a powerful ‘pawn’, though I would rather call him a bishop, and he is now under your control, is he not?” I nodded, glaring.” Put that look on your face aside and be happy that your friend isn’t dead and has been furthering the goals of the country you chose over your home world.”

I groaned. “God, I keep forgetting that you and Celestia are actually despicable people on so many levels, but then you keep reminding me.” Luna shrugged. “Fine. I’ll let it go that you fucked with me big time if you let me have something in return.”

“You’re a Prince, you foal. It’s well within your right to ask pretty much anything.” Luna huffed.

“Damn straight. I want to put together a strike force. Actually, I’m already putting together a strike force, and so far, I have two members for sure, but I’ll need more if I want to get any kind of anything done.”

Luna narrowed her eyes. “A ‘strike force’? I don’t understand.”

“I’m putting together a team of people who get shit done in ways that normal soldiers and spies can’t. Basically, I’m collecting the best of the best. The cream of the crop. The weirdest of the weird.”

“Strange. Go on.”

“I’ve already got two Operative types on my team, though I still technically need to ask Crimson if he wants to be a member of the team. I’m assuming that he will just because I’m his Prince, but still. I’d like to give him the option of saying no. I’m looking for a third to help me round it out-”

“I have a Pony in mind by the name of Crystal Shade. She’s been asking for a special assignment since she came to Equestria from the Crystal Empire and I think your detail may be something akin to what she’s looking for.”

“Have her on standby until I return from the Everfree and send her to Ponyville. I’ll have Daisy Carnival and Crimson give her a look before I settle on her.”

Luna tilted her head. “Who is Daisy Carnival?”

“Crimson’s teacher from The Guard and a former Operative on top of that. The guy was lethal in his prime: a legend by Crimson’s standards.” I explained.

“Experience in the field is valuable. Why not take this Daisy Carnival as one of your fighters?”

I shook my head. “He’s past his prime. Far be it from me to keep him as anything other than a retainer or a trainer.”

Luna nodded. “Fair enough. I thought he may be one of the early retirees from the Operative Core, but if you say he is too old to fight-”

I raised my hands. “No, no, you’ve got me all wrong. The guy’s not too old to fight, he’s just not the man he once was. I think Crimson would have the edge on him these days and I know I could take him. I just need him to come up with a proper regimen to keep my crew sharp and in shape since I assume he retired for a good reason.” That, and I’m really not trying to take my Mum’s boyfriend to war with me.

She nodded again. “Fair enough. So besides Crimson, who is your other Operative?”

“Can’t tell you that.” I said evenly.

The Lunar Diarch narrowed her eyes. “You would ask for my help and deny me information?”

I made a so-so gesture. “It’s a she and she’s already employed in another way, but we both agree that it’s best if I keep her name away from yourself and Celestia. Trust me when I say that she has Equestria’s best interests at heart.”

Luna snorted. “If it is as you say, then I suppose I have no choice but to trust you, no matter how foalish I believe your withholding of information to be. Who else do you have on this team of yours?”

“I have Nashoba, but besides the three people I’ve mentioned and myself, there aren’t that many. I need more members to take into war with me, and Crystal Shade, Crimson, and ‘Her’, as we’ll call her, aren’t going to be fighting by my side. I need an elite guard of sorts, or battle brothers and sisters to make people less alive by my side.”

A smile started to form on her face. “So you’re looking for warriors to join your merry little band of Operatives?”

I nodded. “I am.”

“Then you’ll have your pick, though I suppose you’ll want some of the friends you made in The Guard?”

“If they can survive the training I have planned for them. I’ll warn them vaguely about how tough it’ll be, but if they’re not scared off, then I’ll see if Daisy and Crimson can make them lethal with weapons.”

“You remember when I beat you with that cane for losing to Swift Strike?” Luna asked out of the blue.

“No, I forgot about the profuse bleeding that you healed and started all over again.” I said drily.

She nodded curtly. “I suggest you take Swift Strike. I may have been keeping an eye on him since he beat you, and now that he is in the position of instructor, I happen to know that he’s looking for something more exciting.”

I pursed my lips. “I’ll take him in a heartbeat, though I’m going to have to start getting more rooms in my house if this keeps up. That’ll make two more additions and I think I’ll only have so many more rooms left open.”

“I will commission temporary accommodations if you feel your house is getting too full.”

“It should be fine for awhile. I’ve got nine rooms total, though two have never been used. With me in the ninth, I’ve got eight left, and with Crimson and Shade coming in, I’ll have six left over. If I can get Swift, then I’ll have five, but I only need two more people to round out the battle force-”

“Which I am sure you will find in the Guard or in your travels.”

“Right. So three rooms spare and I want a medic of some kind-”

“What kind of medic do you want?” Luna asked, interrupting me again.

“Preferably one who can handle their field quite well. If they can hold their own in a fight, that’s a plus, but I don’t think I need them to.”

“I have met a mare who was trained as a medic and was fantastic at the craft, but strayed because her interest lie elsewhere. She could be your medic.” She said slowly, a grin creeping onto her face again.

“...Is she weird?”

“The weirdest.”

“It’s fucking Starshine, isn’t it?” I groaned. “That woman tolerates me, Lulu, but just barely, I think.”

Luna shrugged. “She was a great medic and she’s excellent with a dagger.”

“Fine, I’ll take her for the time being, but I want you to hold onto her house in Hooverton in case I ship her arse home.”

“Done. Name your team so far, Maximus. If anything then to help you keep it straight”

“From the top, starting with Spec Ops: Maximus, Crimson Tide, Crystal Shade, ‘Her’. Battle Force: Nashoba, Swift Strike, two missing. Medic: Starshine Nebula.”

“Count yourself as a member of each separate team, save for the medic, and you will only need one more combatant.”

I shook my head. “I want four people going into the fight with me.”

“For three thousand years, every five person squad I’ve taken into battle was destroyed save for myself. Even with good odds at our back. I highly suggest you take four into battle including yourself since you yourself should be fighting with the weight of two people behind your blows.” She smirked.

“I’ll take advice where I can get it, I guess. That does mean one less mouth to feed in my house anyway.”

“I’m sure that will make Twilight happier than having a house full of six people she doesn’t know.”

“Yeah, I’ll just tell her that five is better than six because reasons.” I said flatly.

“It is objectively better. I will add more funds to your account so you can get proper training equipment…” Luna tapped her chin and crossed her legs the other way. “Have you thought of a name for this team yet?”

“Yeah, actually. I was thinking ‘Adstus’. It means-”

“Cunning or guile.” Luna stared me down. “Where did you get this name from?”

“It’s from an old, dead language back in my world.”

“Odd. It was also the former national language of the Alicorns, if Maximus and Adstus are from the same one in your world.”

I nodded. “They are. I’m surprised you guys had Latin here. It was mostly used by weaboo trash back in my world in an attempt to sound cool.”

“Here the language was called Alicin-”

“Alison?”

“No, A-L-I-C-I-N. I feel like there was an ‘O’ when you said it.”

“There was. Huh.”

“May I suggest names for your individual teams since ‘Operatives’ and ‘Battle Force’ sound ridiculous?” Luna asked.

“Feel free, I guess.”

“Excursor for your Operatives and Praelia for your warriors. Both sound much better than the originals.”

I scratched my head. “They really do, to be honest with you. Thanks for that, I guess.”

“You’re welcome. Is there anything else you need?”

“Are there any other dead friends that I need to worry about coming back?”

“None that I am aware of. If there’s nothing else, and since I know I am not going to get a hug, you may go.”

“I’m a Prince! You can’t casually dismiss me!” I protested playfully.

“I’m older than you, I can tell you to do whatever I so choose!” Luna stuck her tongue out at me.

“Whatever, Moon Moon. I’ll see you at a later date.”

She waved. “Until then, insufferable princeling.”

I pushed off the floor with my toes and let myself fall backwards on my heels until I slid through the shadows and arrived back in my room. With that little bit of business over and done with, I got undressed, redressed, and got back in bed to cuddle Twilight. I was planning on telling her sometime in the evening the next day that I was going to be getting a lot more employees, and I was going to have a word with Crimson about him becoming the Captain of sorts in my team. I had a feeling he would run things in a way that I’d be fine with, so it made sense for me to ask him to be a leader in my staff, though I didn’t really feel like I should be pressuring him into doing something like that anyways. It wasn’t even a sure thing that he would agree to my demands, but I rather hoped that he would. After all, the guy was easily one of the most capable Operatives and I’d seen him in action: The guy was no joke at all. It had been too long for me to know if he was faster than Swift, but I knew for a fact that he was a lot more lethal, and if I could get Onyx Lock on board with training, things were going to be looking up as far as my involvement in The War.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I’m surprised I’m still bothering to write, but I can’t sleep and Twilight’s not facing me, so I can’t really stare at her until I do. I might go visit Noir and see if she has any words for me, but I don’t think she’ll disagree with the team I’m putting together since she knows what I know. In fact, I hate to make an entry this short, but it’s already four in the morning and I don’t think it’s going to really matter in the long run. If you disagree, eat ass and get Typhoid.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Alright, so I went to go see Noir and she was happy to find that Luna was willing to help me put together my team, though she’d told me that I’d have better luck with Luna than Celestia in the first place. However, neither of us had been expecting to have one of our Operative slots filled so quickly by someone presumed to be about as alive as a fucking doornail. Still, Crimson’s arrival was a good thing indeed, and since the ball was already rolling at speed, I needed to have Luna get a move on with that training equipment as fast as possible since she knew what she was doing better than I did. I imagined she was going to rebuild the Hell she put me through in my backyard, though I hoped it would be a lot less painful and scarring. Speaking of scarring things, Noir tried to get me to stop trying to block off the memories of Luna’s training and made me face them like she’d done with the memories of her own training. I knew I was just going to have to sit and watch the torment from the same point of view, but fucking Christ, was that ever cruel. Noir said it just made me that much more ‘badass’ for facing it, but I just felt like I was getting beaten all over again.

No, I still don’t want to talk about it.

Once we made it through the worst of the training with Luna, she moved on to the training with Celestia and that was more boring than it was painful. Still, with every resounding rap of her yardstick against my knuckles, I could feel a phantom pain rise up in them all over again, but I no longer flinched like I had during the first week. Still; shit hurt. After a session of the most important facts, Noir had me go a couple rounds with the Swift Strike construct and, as always, had me fight fairly so she would know if I was really getting better or if I was just getting cheaper. I beat my usual time by parrying one of his punches with one of my own and using the time he took to recover to reach in and grab ahold of his head so I could break his neck. Shit was brutal, but I’d cleared my old time by a good seven seconds, and Noir told me to be proud of that at least. She still wanted me to go another round, but to kill him with flowing strikes this time and that shit was difficult without going into Primal Mode.

To explain what flowing strikes are, it’s a constant barrage of strikes that either negate your opponent’s or hit home. For example, while in the middle of using flowing strikes, you could be hammering someone’s chest with rapid strikes nonstop and they might throw a punch at you. To avoid being hit, you have to recognize that they’re trying to attack you and start hammering away at the arm they’re trying to hit you with using one fist while maintaining a steady rhythm with the other, keeping up the power and consistency of the strikes. It’s fucking hard, and I can barely do it in Person Mode, but in Primal, it’s my go to if I want someone to know they’re being outclassed in a fight, even though I never actually used it. To a point, I could pull it off with Swift, but I had to be the first one to hit and I needed a few seconds to set the rhythm, otherwise my arse was grarse. It’s a physically intense way of beating someone down and the closest thing I can think of that looks anything like it is when Donnie Yen does it using Wing Chun in the Ip Man series. Again, it’s not a technique you can just look at and copy: you need a proper mentor and preferably a sparring opponent before you can use it to any manner of effectiveness. I myself still prefer using joint strikes and I’m now fond of hitting pressure points and nerves when I’m in hand-to-hand combat, but it’s still something I need to practice since apparently it’s been a royal fighting technique that’s been passed down since before Noir was young. I know Luna knows it, but she never said if Celestia did. Huh. I wonder if Celestia can still scrap.

Those thoughts out of the way, once I managed to go a round with Swift without getting hit, Noir let me take a break and gave me love and affection that I didn’t really want at the moment. It wasn’t that I don’t like getting hugs from her, it’s just that the woman pushes me to the brink every time I see her these days and I just… I feel like she was supposed to be the guardian of my sanctuary and now she’s just trying to turn me into an even more battle hardened arsehole. It’s not like I don’t understand where she’s coming from: really, I do, but that’s not how you keep friends. You don’t push people to the edge of their limits every day and just expect them to be fine with it, especially when you’re so much more than friends. Next time I see her, I’ll talk to her about going a bit easier on the excessive training, but other than that, I don’t think there’s much I really want out of her other than some actual quality time spent in each other’s company that doesn’t involve beating the shit out of something or someone.

Bitching aside, I came out of the mindscape to get this part written down and then I’ll just lay in bed or something for a little while, though I suppose I could go grab A Star-Crossed Love and try to finish that. There are still some parts that I want to take care of before I lose the ideas, so I’ll Shadow Dive out of bed to go and get it. I have a feeling tomorrow’s going to get a little hectic, but I’ll explain to Twilight ahead of time that I just need more staff for… Reasons, I guess. That’s going to be weird to explain… Man, fuck. I still have to reserve Spike’s room anyway, which is something I didn’t take into account.

Either way, I should still have a few open guest rooms, but training my soldiers to be as lethal as I can get them is going to be a bitch. A worthy endeavor, but a bitch nonetheless. Hopefully tomorrow doesn’t bring too many things on me before I start planning my foray into the Everfree, and I better not have anyone who’s terribly messy in my Goddamn house. I swear, I’ll fucking kill someone if they don’t flush a toilet.

God, this might turn out to be a nightmare.

Author's Notes:

I lost a little time with writing due to the Fourth of July and being out of town for fie days, but at least I still get shit more doner than I could do. At wort, I've only lost a chapter out of my backlog, but still. I like to keep things shored up, just in case
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As Always, Kill It Harder

Stay Cool, Kids.