I woke up and my heart pounded in my chest once I laid eyes on the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen: An amazing woman that I could call my own, a work of art beyond all others. Princess Twilight Sparkle is and will always be a sight to behold in the morning light, or in any light, to be honest with you. Her occasional snores are simply adorable, and the soft sound of the breath escaping her lips lulls me into a sense of tranquility unrivaled by any other source I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. A luckier man alive might exist, but he’ll never have what I have, who I have. If there’s anything I like about my life, it’s that my Twilight is in it and she allows me to call her mine. If you’ve never experienced the feeling, then there’s no real way to describe it, but I’m hoping that you feel the same way, Twilight. I’m sure you do, but if you’re not her and you’re peering into my deepest thoughts, then I’m going to do to you what I did to Graham on a smaller scale. Maybe just ten minutes of terribly incomparable pain.

As I gazed upon my lover, my fiance, I noticed that a lock of hair was out of place. I wondered how it had gotten onto her cheek and debated on whether or not I should move it. On one hand, it made Twilight look even more kissable, but on the other, it was blocking my view of her wonderful countenance. I was stuck in a battle of philosophies that seemed to wage on, befuddled as to how I should handle the conundrum in front of me. I decided to suck it up and move the lock so I wouldn’t get it stuck in my mouth when I went to kiss her cheek.

When my lips made contact with Twilight, she stirred slightly, her eyelids twitching. My fiance moved a bit closer to me and now our noses were nearly touching. If her horn hadn't gotten longer, I would’ve been able to kiss her, but fate had decided to throw the smallest of roadblocks into my path. I stepped over it by scooting gently down the bed so my forehead wasn’t making contact with the bony appendage and gave her a light kiss, a mere brushing of my lips against hers. She stirred once more and her lips curved into a slight smile. I could hear her breathing pick up slightly and her heartbeat quicken, tipping me off that I’d woken her up.

Not being one to waste time, I gave her a real kiss, breaking our ‘No kisses before coffee’ rule entirely. I felt as though we were entitled to a little rule breaking, and it’s not like Twilight disagreed if the hushed enthusiasm behind her reciprocation was anything to go by. For once since I returned, I was the one to break the kiss.

“Good morning, my sweet cherry.” I said softly.

“Not awake yet. Try again later.” Twilight replied dreamily.

I kissed her again. “It’s later, right?”

“Keep ‘em coming and I might even open my eyes.” She jibed.

My next target was her nose. “How many more are we talking?”

“Hmm… Somewhere in the next ten to twenty.”

I rolled my eyes and licked her horn, making her shiver and open her eyes. “That’s cheating.” She ‘complained’.

“Did it feel nice?”

Twilight blushed and rolled her eyes. “Don’t you have a saying about asking silly questions?”

I smiled. “I sure do. Ask six times to make sure they’re just as silly as they were when you thought of them.”

Twilight propped herself up on an elbow and pushed be onto my back so she could lay her head on my chest. “What time is it?”

“The sun is kinda up, but not really. I’d say its early dawn.”

“Then stop talking and let me listen.”

I was confused my that until I realized that she meant that she was listening to my heartbeat. To a point, I forgot that other people couldn’t hear them all the time like I could, but memories of not being all-hearing came back to me and I tried to calm down a little. My heart was still pounding in my chest quite loudly, I assumed, and I was sure that it was just going to wake Twilight up, which wasn’t what I wanted until I realized that it was exactly what I wanted. Twilight being awake meant more kisses. I like those.

I closed my eyes and paid careful attention to Twilight everything. The way the fur on her shoulder blades felt against my hands, the particular pattern of her main muscle, the easy puffs of her breathing. Of course the weight of her head on my chest was noteworthy, but I attributed that to the brain within said head instead of her having a thick skull like some Ponies. Seriously, Pony braincases are made of wrought iron and pain. I know from punching them, but I’d probably never punch Twilight if I didn’t have to, though that's a little off topic.

When Spike knocked on Twilight’s door, it was far too soon, despite us having stayed in bed for a couple more hours. He told us that breakfast was ready and that we should get down before it got cold. Twilight agreed, though I didn’t give a single fuck, preferring to ask him if he’d washed his claws before making food. He told me that he had, though he was a little salty that I’d asked. I’d rather have him be salty about that than have my food be filled with extra protein.

Twilight sighed and got off of me and we didn’t bother getting showered before breakfast, instead just going down to have a cup of coffee along with our omelettes. Spike had actually made me two, and I thanked him for his consideration. Once we were done with breakfast, Twilight and I showered together, though we washed each other instead of ourselves. It was an intimate gesture that we’d never really done before and I was a little stiff by the time we were done, but Twilight and I just didn’t feel the need to work it out through some adult fun time. It was as if we wanted to keep things innocent while we both had the restraint to do so, though a part of me wanted to fuck her silly since tomorrow would be the last day of normalcy before I became a prince. In a sense, it was kind of like the calm before the storm that we knew was coming all too soon.

Once we were done with that, we practically dressed each too, but I just picked out some black leggings and a familiar smock for Twilight and she had me dress in a plaid button up and some khaki shorts. I felt like a bit of a tool, but I looked good, so I’m not really complaining. Other than that, Twilight started sending out letters to get the girls and my family together so we could all meet up at her place for our announcements. A couple hours later at the determined time, Pinkie and Fluttershy showed up together. Soon enough, Applejack, Rainbow, and Rarity filtered in, though Trixie and Blue were a little late. Once everyone was present, Twilight and I offered to let each other break the news first. I told her that I’d give the Royal news since it was the biggest thing to me and she could have the ‘other one’. Our wording made some of the ladies ask some questions, so to forestall a flood of them, I gave my announcement first.

“Alright, so we all know Celestia bumped up my status from Baron to Duke before I left, right?” I asked.

There were nods, so I continued. “Yeah, so she’s doing that again, except I’m going another step or two up. Figured we should let you girls know.”

Rarity raised a hand. “Surely you didn’t call us here just to gloat?”

I gave her a look. “Since when do I gloat?”

Rarity raised a brow. “Are you not a self proclaimed narcissist?”

I matched her with my own brow. “I’m also self-hating and rarely speak of my achievements or the like in a positive light.”

Fluttershy raised her hand. “W-What’s above a Duke?”

“Shit, I dunno. I just know I’m a Prince of Equestria in three days.” I replied casually.

Jaws dropped, but Rainbow was the first to recover. “Dude! Congrats!”

I nodded, pulling a face. “I’m not exactly thrilled about it, but thanks. I’m pretty sure our next thing is going to be better than that, though.”

“What could be better than better than becoming a prince!?” Rarity exclaimed, clasiping her hands in front of her bosom. “I can’t believe it! I used to date a prince before his prime!”

Twilight’s hand found my knee. “Now I feel bad for robbing you of your chance to be a princess.”

The fashionista waved it aside. “The heart chooses its own path, darling. I believe everypony in this room understands that quite well. Perhaps there will be another prince for me, yes?”

I snorted. “You don’t need a literal prince, just a guy that seems like he is to you. Metaphorically that is. If you treated a man like an actual prince, he might start getting weird.”

Rarity sniffed. “What you said is reasonable, but the way you said it makes me want to ask for an apology.”

“You’re not going to get one.” Twilight and I chorused. That was followed by a quick peck and another haughty huff from Rarity.

“Alright, so Max is gonna be a prince. Y’all said there was somethin’ else, right?” Applejack asked somewhat irritably.

“Yeah! What else is there?” Pinkie asked, practically vibrating in her seat.

Twilight turned to me. “Well…”

I gave her a half smile. “We’ve got some big news, and it’s something I find a lot more important than becoming royalty.”

“So do I. It’s pretty big, honestly.” My fiance beamed.

“What’s the news already!? You guys are being super weird right now!” Rainbow said loudly

“Twilight? I think you’re more excited about sharing the news than I am.” I kissed her cheek.

She grabbed my hand and held it firmly with both of hers. “I know, but I’m sure you want to talk about it as much as I do, right?”

I shrugged. “I want to put it out there, but I know you want to actually go into the details more than I do.”

Rainbow groaned. “Will you two just spit it out already?”

Twilight coughed and blushed. “Well… Max proposed to me!” She held up her left hand, flashing them her ring. “We’re engaged!”

There were gasps and hugs were thrown about like beads at a Mardi Gras parade. I think Fluttershy and Pinkie hugged me twice, but I wasn’t terribly worried about it until Pinkie came back for a third, this time with a Groucho Marx mustache. I still gave her another hug because it was a nice moment, but I’m pretty sure she wanted a fourth, so I told her we’d hang out or something after this. Pinkie was still crazier than fuck, but she was loyal and pretty cool if you don’t focus on the fact that she breaks the laws of reality, and I’d actually been thinking of asking Pinkie about some things.

Twilight noticed that I gave Pinkie multiple hugs and totally ignored it since she also got three hugs from Fluttershy and Rarity in turn. I didn’t get a hug from Applejack, but she did give me a handshake and congratulated me on finally getting my ‘mare’. I thanked her and from there, everyone wanted to know the situation up until I proposed. Twilight was a little embarrassed to tell them that it had happened right after a fight, both physical and verbal. I mentioned that I would explain why I’d fought Shining when we were done in full after we were done with the engagement news shit/stuff/thing. When Twilight said that I’d asked her to marry me after she asked me not to retaliate against her father during my coming stay at the Canterlot Castle Barracks, Applejack asked how the fuck she’d said yes after having to tell me not to beat up her male family members. Twilight answered that Shining had been in the wrong when we fought and that her father would most likely be the one to start anything between us, so it was a bit of a steep request on her end since Night Light was known to make people he didn’t want around suffer.

After clarifying why she’d had to ask me to not ‘handle’ her old man, I explained that I’d thought it was the right time to ask something of Twilight since I rarely ever did. If she was going to ask me to lay down and take punishment I didn’t deserve, then I wanted her to lay down and take the dick, which were words that got me hit with a good amount of Alicorn strength. The guffaws I got from Pinkie and Rainbow made it a lot more worth it, and the blush on Twilight’s face was adorable until she whispered in my ear that she’d make me live up to my promise one way or another if I kept teasing her with it. I gave her a peck on the cheek before licking it and continuing on with the following time Twilight and I had spent together.

Blue asked if we had a date for the wedding picked out yet and Twilight said that she had a few dates she wanted to run by me later since we’d only been engaged for a day. Well, less than a day. Trixie asked if I had any ideas for who I would have as my best mare and I looked at her like she was crazy before asking if she meant best ‘man’. The words had barely left my mouth when my hand was rising to my forehead in the most face of palms. I’d forgotten that the best ‘mare’ thing was normal, so I said that I would have to pick between Blue, Trixie, Nashoba, and Spike. Blue said that she couldn’t be my best mare because mothers generally weren’t supposed to be, Spike popped his head into the room to say that he would be the ring bearer, but not my best man, and Trixie looked at me expectantly. I shrugged and told her that she was asking me to pick between my sisters. I’d known Nashoba longer and she knew me better, so I was leaning toward her, but I wasn’t about to say that, so I told her that I would weigh the decision with Twilight, but my fiance told me that I was alone on this since she had to pick a maid of honor by herself. I asked why we had to make the choices by ourselves instead of consulting each other and pooling our insights so that we could make a better choice.

Twilight told me that it was supposed to be one of the biggest decisions we were going to make in the wedding and that we should each have something, or rather, someone that we were comfortable with having by our side for the rest of our lives besides each other. She mentioned that she was planning on making Cadance her maid of honor and I told her that she was full of suck for not agreeing with me. She gave me a kiss on the cheek, but when she pulled away, she sucked on my cheek to prove my point.

I sighed and scratched my head. I started thinking out loud and told Trixie that it would most likely be her since I was certain that Nashoba wouldn’t mind taking a back seat on this as much as she might, but Trixie didn’t want me to make a decision based on whether or not I was hurting her feelings. I responded with the facts, telling her that we both knew that me asking Nashoba to be my best mare would be pointless since she probably didn’t care that much about Two-Leg ceremonies in the first place. I also said that I’d rather it be her because that would open up the possibility of me possibly being her best man, if possible. Trixie beamed and told me that she’d been planning on having Twilight be her best mare, but would happily have me since I was back, so I asked when I could be expected to make an appearance. She said that her wedding wasn’t for another couple of months, but we’d have time to get whatever we needed done ready. I asked Twilight if she minded that I took her spot and she said that she didn’t since she’d already been a best mare for her own sibling.

With that little bit out of the way, I asked if anyone had any questions for me and Rarity asked if everyone present was going to get a dance with me after the wedding. I looked at Twilight and she nodded, so I told them that I was only going to dance with people whose coats were primary colors. Specifically red, yellow, and blue. Rarity took offense to that along with Pinkie, and Rainbow said that she didn’t want a dance with me. Blue, Trixie, and Fluttershy were all fine with it, though Blue told me that I should stop playing around and be honest, so I admitted that I’d just been kidding. My friends would get a dance if they wanted one and they asked me if I was going to decide the order. I thought about it for a moment and said that Blue had to be first and that Trixie may or may not get a dance depending on whether or not she wanted one. Trixie said that best mares usually waited until last, so I said that Fluttershy would be second, followed by Rarity. I asked Applejack if she thought she might like one and she just gave me a look, so I nodded my understanding and told Pinkie that she would have Applejack’s place and that Trixie would bring up the rear. With that out of the way, Twilight asked if there were any questions for her.

Rainbow raised a hand and straight up asked if we’d had sex yet. She was chastised by everyone except me, though when they shut up, I looked her in the eye and told her no. Twilight abused me some more for advertising our intimate endeavors, but I told her that I probably wasn't going to change until I got old and grey. She reminded me that I probably wouldn’t get any greyer than I already was and I sighed since I’d forgotten about that. Still, it was nice that I’d be spending eternity and a half with the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on, and when I said as much, I was rewarded with ‘awws’ and Twilight kissed the spot on my arm she usually hit.

With our announcements and most of the questions everyone had, I went to go find Spike so the girls could gush properly without me around, though neither Twilight or myself wanted to separate from each other during our limited time together before I’d be spending another month away from her. Still, she could visit me in my dreams since Luna had shown her how to dream walk, and I was sure that either of us would be willing to wait in the dreamscape for as long as we needed to. Noir just told me through our telekinetic thing that she would help me dreamwalk if need be, so that’s nice.

I left and found Spike reading a book in his room, so I pulled up the chair he kept in his room while he chilled on his bed. “What’s up, mate?”

“Not much, dude. Is this our chance to do some real catching up?” He asked.

I nodded. “I suppose it is. You know what I’ve been up to.”

My brother shrugged. “It’s not like you don’t know the big stuff, but I could use some advice if you don’t mind locking the door.”

I looked over to it and locked it with my tentacle. “And done. Is this about sex?”

He blushed. “Well…”

“If you think you’re ready for it. Ask away, bruv.”

He nodded and gathered his thoughts. “...So Apple Bloom and I have started getting more physical, but you already know that.”

I nodded. “I didn’t need to see it, but yeah, I know. First things first, are your claws retractable like other Dragon’s?”

He lifted one of his hands and five significantly sharper looking claws popped out of his fingertips before going back in. “Yeah, they are.”

“Cool. I suggest making you normal claws less sharp, though. And learn how to keep your other ones inside during intense moments.” I advised.

He looked at his claw-tips. “Why would I need to make my claws less sharp? I doubt they’d even poke through paper.”

“I don’t know how sharp they are, but I know a woman’s lady bits are very sensitive, and if you stab her on the inside, you’re going to get killed. Point blank, no excuses. You’re going to die past getting killed to death.”

He gulped. “...So I put my claws inside of a girl?”

I don’t want to go into the conversation after that since things get real sexual and Spike’s my little brother. I offered to show him on Twilight jokingly and he gagged hard, so I offered to show him on Fluttershy and he was far more receptive to that, though it wasn’t really what I was going for. Still, no one had to be shown anything and after drawing him a few diagrams and explaining that pussy could be treated in different ways depending on the situation, I started running him through different scenarios and advised him based on what he thought he should do at certain times. He was actually a pretty good guesser, though when he mentioned that Macintosh had stopped telling him about the finer points of sexual interactions once he actually started dating Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, I was proud of him for sticking to what little he actually knew and staying within the boundaries of what his girlfriends were comfortable with rather than trying to rush things along.

We talked about some other things until we heard someone try to jimmy the door handle. I got up and opened it to find Pinkie trying to pick the lock. She was wearing my boot that had my lock picks in it. I’d been wearing it the entire time I was talking to Spike, and when I looked down, I was no longer wearing it. I asked Pinkie for my shit back and she begrudgingly removed her hoof from my footwear and I put it back on, cursing her for stealing shit I liked to wear. After that, I asked why she’d been trying to pick the lock and she said that she wanted to be double teamed by brothers at least once in her life. I told her that it wasn’t happening, at least, not with Spike and I. She then told me that the real reason she’d come a’pickin’ was to talk to me alone, so I told Spike goodbye and Shadow Dived us to my place for a quick word.

Turns out, all Pinkie wanted to talk about was the thing with Graham. I went in depth about what I’d done and she listened intently, though she told me that she couldn’t do anything on that scale, so my worries about her using that knowledge for evil was unfounded. Still, I warned her against torturing people too much lest her mind go completely and she just shrugged it off, stating that she knew I would put her down before it became and issue. That was when we promised to end each other should we ever become too dangerous, though I already had three people looking out for me on that regard. We agreed to talk more later and I realized that I was actually rather close to her, all things considered. Of course I was still a little wary of her since she broke the laws of physics and reality whenever the fuck she felt like it, but it’s not like she used her powers for evil. I was going to have to nut up and ask where her powers came from when I did see her again, though I didn’t really want to.

And my morning had started out on such a happy note. Well, here’s to death and murder, I guess.

I took us back to Twilight’s house to find her and the girls all talking about random inane things that I don’t feel like recording. The women should’ve had enough time to get it out of their systems, but sadly things just don’t work out like that anymore. I don’t think they ever did, but either way, I was still stuck listening to the conversation rapidly change topics and go on tangents that seemed to make no sense to the male ears. Still, I got to cuddle with Twilight while she talked, and when she took herself out of the conversation, I usually got a quick kiss or something for paying attention. I wasn’t, but I was rewarded for sitting through it.

After three hours of tea drinking, the occasional bathroom break, and a fucktonne of talking, I offered to go get snacks and everyone gave me some bits to get what they wanted. I would’ve been salty about being told to go to like, six different places in town, but I’d offered and I wanted as break anyway. I had to write down what the girls wanted and from where, though Twilight just told me to surprise her. I was tempted to make her a donut with some homemade ‘cream’ filling, but I don’t know how to make donuts and it would’ve taken me too long to jerk off. Still, I had an idea…

After grabbing everyone’s confections, pastries, and a sandwich for Applejack, I bought Twilight a box of chocolates and an eclair that I added a special ingredient to. When I got back to the Treebrary, I was chided for having taken nearly two hours to get back, but I told them that if they wanted it done quickly, they should have paid Rainbow to do it. Everyone got their snacks just fine anyway, so they didn’t have that much room to complain, and as I was eating the gummy snacks I’d gotten for myself, I kept glancing at Twilight, waiting for her to eat the eclair. When she took the first bite, she chewed normally and started slowing down almost immediately. I’d mixed my baby gravy in with the cream in the comfort of my own home so it would be all throughout the donut, and when she went to take a second bite, my cheeks twitched. Her face grew red as she realized what she was tasting, although I kept my face straight and continued sucking on my sweets rather than chewing them.

Twilight asked Pinkie to try her donut and the Great Pink Menace jumped at the opportunity, though she didn’t devour it like I’d been expecting her to. She and my fiance locked eyes before turning their heads to look at me. I pretended to not notice for a few seconds before looking back at them and poking a gummy worm between my lips. Twilight took another bite of her donut cautiously and I gave her an odd look, asking if everything was okay. She asked if I’d done anything to her eclair and I asked if there was something wrong with it. My fiance gave me a look and continued eating it, promising that she’d ask again later.

She got her chance about an hour after that, when everyone went home. It was about four in the afternoon at this point, so while we were sitting on the couch, still cuddling, she asked, “So what did you you do to my donut?”

I gave her a shit eating grin. “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.”

“You put something in it, didn’t you?” Twilight fixed me with a glare.

“I sure did. Was it that noticeable?”

“It was. Pinkie noticed it too. Max, did you feed me your… stuff?”

I started chuckling. “M-Maybe.”

She whacked me. “Really!? Is that what took you so long?”

I cracked up harder. And she hit me again. “I would have just given you a favour if you asked!”

“I just wanted to see if you’d notice! Come on, it was still tasty, right?” I gave her a brilliant smile.

She pouted. “All I got was the taste, but none of the fun.”

I kissed her. “I’ll let you taste it straight from the source whenever you want as long as you let me return the favour.”

Twilight’s eyes lit up. “Really? I mean, we only have so long before you have to go away again…”

I lifted a brow. “We can leave now, if you want. I’ll make sure it’s memorable, or at least enough to give you something to look forward to again.”

“Can we move up the date for actual intercourse?” She asked hopefully.

“You would’ve had a better chance of convincing me last night.” I said truthfully.

“I still wouldn’t have made a convincing enough case.” Twilight sighed.

I hugged her a bit closer. “Look at it this way: I still think that you’re the only woman worth waiting so long for. If it hadn't already been two years for you, I would’ve waited to propose even longer.”

She kissed my neck, making the Ol’ Chap tingle in all the right ways. “You’re lucky I think you’re worth waiting for, otherwise I’d just cast a libido spell on you and wait for you to come to me.”

My fiance kept up her assault while I answered. “That would be mind altering and frankly quite evil, cherry.”

She nibbled on me and placed a hand on my chest. “I think it would be more naughty than evil. What do you say? Are you going to teach this naughty little filly the error of her ways?” She purred.

I turned and ceased her actions, locking lips with her so we could both get a little something out of it. I cupped her face with a hand, and after a few minutes, she gently pushed me away and teleported us onto my bed so we could continue as we pleased. Without the possibility of being interrupted, I got a little more explorative with my hands, making Twilight give me some rather nice noises of approval I started dominating the kiss a little more than I wanted to, so I eased up a little and let Twilight take control, allowing her tongue to roll over mine. It was a bit of an odd feeling as it always was, but Twilight had quickly warmed up and knocked the metaphorical rust from her lips. The skill I remembered from my birthday had finally returned, though I think she was just waiting for the moment when she could take control.

Twilight wanted to mount me, so I let her do it and we continued from there, though her smock was definitely in the way. The leggings were nice since they were extremely form-fitting, meaning that I could cop a handful like there was nothing in way at all, though they still had to go. Twilight just magicked things off whenever we wanted them gone, and over the course of twenty or so odd minutes of kissing, nibbling, the odd bite or two from Twilight, and many handfuls what the other person had to offer, we got down to business and I gave Twilight what she asked for while getting what I wanted at the same time. She still tasted like wine, but it was finer and generally just tasted a lot more expensive, now that I paid attention to the finer nuances of her flavour.

We had sex for a long time. Like, we spent eight hours changing between forms and having sex that ranged from terrible to fantastic. The terrible sex came from Twilight’s time as Dusk and the fantastic sex was pretty much any other time. We even broke out the strapon so Twilight could actually get me off with penetration, though I had to point out that it would be fine without it. She still remembered the last time we’d used one and I had to reassure her that all would be fine, but other than that, it was a good time.

After sex, we turned on a lamp so we could look at each other for awhile, both of us sweaty and sticky like we’d just got done doing some strenuous exercise. We actually had, of course, and I was thirsty like no other, so I suggested that we have a real meal before we go to bed and Twilight agreed to help cook as long as we took a shower first. I had no reason to object and we ended up in the tub again to get clean with Twilight trying to stroke me off using her thighs. She got awfully close, but stopped because I was actually a little tender from the sheer amount of abuse my lower half had taken. Still, I wouldn’t have minded if she finished the fucking job.

I made some pancakes for dinner because breakfast for dinner is the fucking dog’s bollocks, and I may have ignored Twilight calling me a ‘foal’ for wanting something sweet for a late night/early morning meal. In my defense, I could make a lot of pancakes very easily and they were rather filling, so I asked her if she wanted me to get a waffle iron so I could make the Belgian bullshit instead. She told me that she would prefer a waffle, so I looked through my crap to see if I had one. As it turned out, I did in my vast amount of cookware, so I made her some waffles. I was told that they were good.

We went to bed shortly after since it was fucking dawn already, though instead of sleeping, I meditated first and visited Noir. When I arrived, she was playing ping-pong against a copy of Sammy, the old lady. My old mentor was pretty good, but my current one was still an absolute savage in things that required athletics. That didn’t help her any when I charged her and leapt, basing my actions completely off of instinct.

When we hit the floor, Sammy scored a point and Noir was rather annoyed. “You damnable brat! I could have made my first clean sweep!”

I straddled her and started peppering her face with kisses until she pushed me off of her. “I’m sowwy, bwackbewwy. I wuv you~”

“Tch. Your childish ways are going to get you beaten like a cur one of these days.” She stood and crossed her arms.

“You won’t do the beating, will you? If you do, can it be with a newspaper?”

My mentor gave me a look. “I will beat you with the wooden sword again.”

“You wouldn’t abuse me outside of training, would you?” I asked, knowing the answer.

“Not as severely, but I would still beat you. I am assuming you have something you want to do?”

“Besides put my dick in your tender bits, not really.” I jested.

She rolled her eyes. “We can practice with your True Magic all night if you wish, though Twilight is waiting to see you in the dreamscape. She wants to have fake sex.”

“We already have fake sex.”

“She wants to feel you inside of her, one way or the other, and not in the way you are hoping.”

“I just don’t like anything in there! It’s just preference!” I complained.

“If you do not like it, how could you possibly expect anyone else to?”

“Celestia and Luna like it in the arse.” I pointed out.

“They are old and both are kinkier than water hoses. I am sure you gathered that when they tried to dominate you together.”

“...Fair enough. So do you have any ideas on how to draw out my True Theft?”

“Since it is located in your arms, I would try drawing your power there first.” Noir suggested.

I nodded and closed my eyes, trying to channel power into my arms. When I opened my eyes about ten minutes later, my arms had a darkish aura about them, but that didn’t seem right. I tried focusing on just using my left arm since it had been the only one to change when God activated the power within me in the first place but all it did was make the shadowy shit around my arm grow a darker grey and take a blue tint. Noir sighed loudly, so I turned to her.

“Alright, so I’m using my Dark Magic and not my True Magic. How the fuck do I switch?” I asked irritably.

She rolled her eyes. “Do you even know where the different sources of your magic are?” She thought for a second. “You really should have paid more attention when your Lord was showing you how to activate your powers.”

“Sorry, but all I felt was burning in my hands. If that’s the source, then I’ll be surprised.” I said blandly.

Noir rolled her eyes again. “That was the contact of a being far more powerful than you. You received a direct blessing of some kind, but I cannot tell what it was. However, I am sure that you will learn of what exactly God bestowed upon you in time, though for now, you should spend a few hours meditating to find the source of your new magic. Perhaps you could return to the old castle in the Everfree?”

I nodded. “I’ll do so when I have the time. Right now, a day away from becoming a prince, it’s just not enough. I’ll cut a week out of my schedule to go be isolated like some hikikomori otaku shut-in faggot.”

“Except with nature instead of animoo.”

“With nature. Did you read through the shitty manga God put in my head?” I asked.

She bobbed her head from side to side. “You have read shittier manga. Honestly, I don’t understand why you deride those who like anime and manga more than you do so much.”

“I went through a phase. I grew out of it.” I said stubbornly.

“You were a filthy hipster about what you read even then.” Noir caviled.

“Shut up and hold me or something so I can meditate in peace, yeah?”

“Personal contact is a no-no, dear Maximus. I cannot recreate the magic in the Everfree, but we can recreate its surroundings and your former territory if you please.”

I gave her the go ahead and we both started pulling up images. What I couldn’t remember, Noir could, and what she didn’t feel like pulling up, my brain filled in. Shit was rad. Before long, we had the Old Castle and its courtyard set up, so Noir fucked off to go do her own thing and I found my old spot and started meditating like I had in the past, clearing my mind to search my body. As always, it was a terribly boring pastime, but unlike when I’d done it in the Everfree, I actually knew that I was looking for magic or something that felt off rather than just trying to stay in my brain. I took my mind and spread my focus slowly, starting with the tingling sensation in my head that was my telekinetic ability as well as my perceptive abilities and continued pushing outward, spreading my attention into my chest. Once I got to my navel, I felt the smoky darkness that was Noir’s Dark Magic, so I continued spreading my focus into my outer extremities.

Now, keep in mind that while I explained this process in a single paragraph, I actually spent a full day by Noir’s timekeeping just getting myself level enough and clear-headed enough to sort everything out. Meditation is not a quick process by any means, and the fact that I’d pushed my consciousness throughout my entire body without finding what I was looking for was a little disheartening. Once the first day of nothing but meditation was over, I started retracing my consciousness just as slowly as I’d pushed it out, focusing only on the task at hand and nothing else. The main problem was that I didn’t know what I was looking for or where to find it, so I repeated the process for a full week inside my mind, which was about three hours in the real world. There was nothing I could do when Noir told me that I needed to leave the mindscape and get into the dreamscape, so I left without any resistance and more than a little frustration. Actually, my patience had bottomed out so hard, it was sitting in the darkest pits of Hell, waiting for me to piss on it to bring it some relief from the flames of my fury.

The only relief I received came in the form of a brief hug and kiss from Noir before she transitioned me into the dreamscape. I still remembered how to do it well enough, and when I thought of Twilight, I teleported to her dream instantly and knocked on her personalized door. MAX+TWI was painted on it in grey and green for my name while Twilight’s portion was in purple and pink. I would have found it amusing or cute, but I was livid beyond belief that I couldn’t even tap into magic that I was supposed to be able to figure out with a little help, and when I walked into Twilight’s dream, the sky immediately darkened and the wind started howling like mad. I knew that I was the cause, but calming down was something that wouldn’t happen until I saw Twilight.

Her little picnic started blowing away and I felt bad, so I snapped and righted the dream since Twilight was still inexperienced with how things worked in the mind. The rules for the dreamscape were similar enough to the mindscape for me to manipulate things as I pleased since I’d been in the mindscape for… Shit, probably about an eighth of as long as I’ve actually been in Equestria. I spend a lot of time there, doing things with Noir when I can.

Asides aside, Once I got over to Twilight, she gave me a worried look, and when I sat down next to her, the worried look persisted. “Are you okay, amour?”

I didn’t answer her with words, preferring to make our lips hug so I could calm down the way I wanted to. Twilight returned the kiss a bit hesitantly at first, but once I mellowed out a little, she started to get a little more into it. Once I was actually calm, she broke away.

I sighed. “I’m okay now, but I was just incredibly frustrated. I just spent an entire week meditating for no progress. My True Magic is still somewhere, but I can’t figure out how to touch it, so it’s looking like I’m going to have to go back to the Everfree to get things done, if Noir and I are correct.”

Twilight stared at me, her face slowly transforming into a pout. “No.”

Time for a caveat. “You can come along. I’ll find us food and keep us safe.”

Her pout lessened. “Didn’t you say that you don’t want me in that ‘murder forest’?”

“I said those exact words, but that was before you became more magically potent than I am. I’m sure your Friendship Magic could do us some good in a place where having friends could do us some favours.”

“First off, I was more magically potent than you anyways. Second, my magic only works on intelligent creatures.”

I rolled my eyes. “I need to learn how to use my magic one way or another. We could see if the Matron is willing to let us keep her company for a little while.”

Her pout lessened a little more. “...I guess that would be okay. Isn’t she a little temperamental at times?”

“Shit, I don’t know. I’d have to ask Noir. You know she actually slept with Uror?” I asked.

Twilight blinked at me. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. Noir told me herself. What say we go visit her when I get back from Canterlot? We’ll go and maybe take Nashoba with us.”

Twilight blushed. “Well… I’d like to see Uror again, but the last time we were there, we kinda just had sex with her and left… It’s been two years since we’ve been back, Max.”

I shrugged. “I’ll explain what happened and that you just weren’t comfortable enough to visit her by yourself. You’re still rather scared of the Everfree, right?”

“Well, you’re not wrong. It’s a big reason why I didn’t go back.” She admitted.

I spread my hands. “See? We have reasonable excuses. If Uror doesn’t like them, we’ll just head back to the Old Castle and stay there for a week. Trust me, it’s not anything like what you’re used to, but it was home to me for a little while.”

My fiance gave me a look. “Max, I’ve been to the Old Castle twice. I know what I’m expecting.”

I lifted a brow. “How many times have you stayed past nightfall or risen when the Sun came up within its walls? Because I imagine I’ve done that about thirty more times than you have. Trust me when I say that staying there for more than a few hours is one hell of a fucking trip, cherry.”

She raised her brows and puckered her lips. “Whatever you say, amour.”

I gave her a look and imagined a scale model voodoo doll of her. Then I imagined a tiny hand. After flipping the skirt on the doll and bending it over, I extended a finger on the hand and pushed it into the doll’s butt since it really was a perfect model, and when I did, Twilight freaked the fuck out, making me die of laughter as I encased myself in a bubble so she wouldn’t be able to hit me. When she palmed both of her cheeks in an attempt to get the finger out, I laughed harder and left the hand exactly where it was for a good thirty seconds while Twilight pounded on my shield. After I got my wits about my, I removed the finger and held the doll close to my chest, stroking its mane as I tried to giggle myself into a coma.

“If you don’t stop messing with me, I’m biting you the next time you ask me for a favour!” Twilight threatened, trying to get the feeling of a massive finger off of her head.

I made the doll disappear, but kept the shield up. “Sorry cherry, but I just couldn’t help myself.”

She crossed her arms, her face still bright red. “If you don’t drop that barrier and take your punishment like a stallion, it’s just going to get that much worse.”

I did the trick I’d ever only pulled once with Noir and made myself immune to pain. I’d only pulled it with my mentor the one time because she actually did beat me like she was trying to cause permanent damage afterwards. Honestly, I’d been terrified to go back to her after that, but… Well, there really wasn’t anything to add to that. Noir broke me and put me back together again while training with her, and it was that experience that made me as tough as I am. I just don’t give much of a shit about pain anymore. Still, I wasn’t about to let a fucking angry Alicorn wallop me for the simple fact that Twilight could probably break bones if she was serious, and I was willing to bet that she wasn’t going to hold much back.

When I dropped my shield, the first thing she did was pound her fist into my shoulder, which dislocated it with a sickening pop. Twilight had her hand cocked back for another blow, but the sound had made her stop and we both just looked at my sagging right shoulder.

“Well ow.” I said casually.

“...Did I just…?”

I thought it back into place. “Yup. Now we know how hard you can't hit me.”

One of her hands went to her mouth and the other touched my arm gingerly. “...I’m so sorry…”

I kissed her gently. “First things first, I knew that was going to hurt, so I made sure I wasn’t going to feel any pain. Second, we’re in the dreamscape, so it’s not going to cost any lasting damage. Third, there is no third. Fourth, it’s a valuable lesson. We’re now aware of how strong you can be, so don’t hit me that hard again, pretty please.”

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad I didn’t hurt you, but… What if I lose control in the real world and actually do hurt you?”

I shrugged. Halfway, at least. “I heal fast. Learn some healing magic in the meantime and I think we’ll be fine on all fronts, honestly.”

Twilight gingerly prodded my shoulder. “Still…”

I gave her another kiss, followed by a few more. “Thank you for being concerned.”

“Of course I’m concerned.” She said, sounding a little less frightened than she had. “I just hit you so hard I knocked your shoulder out of its socket!”

“And I put a finger in your butt, which was hilarious.” I cracked a shit eating grin.

Twilight looked like she wanted to hit me again, her face flushing once more. “I’m only going to let it slide this one time because I’m pretty sure that if I’d hit you in the real world, we’d be at the hospital right now.”

I kissed her cheek and started moving downward, speaking in between kisses. “You know. You like. The way. I tease. You.”

She cooed softly once I reached her collar. “Only when you’re nice about it. That was just mean.”

I nibbled on her neck and her breathing hitched slightly. “Would it help if I apologized?”

“...Are you apologizing now?” She asked breathlessly.

I bit her lip and tugged on it lightly before answering. “Actions do speak louder than words. How about we-”

As I was speaking, Noir popped into the dreamscape to ruin the fuck out of my Goddamn moment. “Maximus, someone has entered your home, and I can’t identify the heartbeat.”

Well that got my attention. “Alright.” I turned to Twilight and gave her a quick smooch before rocketing myself out of the dream and into reality.

My adrenaline was already pumping, so I grabbed the Warbling Blade from my night stand even though I knew for a fact that I wouldn’t actually need it since I’m fucking overpowered these days. It was still a comfort to have steel in my hand as I tried to locate the heartbeat coming from downstairs, and once I judged that it was someone in my living room, I sauntered down the steps soundlessly and crept up behind the Dragon. I didn’t know who it was, but the only way to handle an intruder who comes in when no one’s awake is to show them who the fuck lives in your house.

“You have ten seconds to get the fuck out of my house before I kill you.” I said evenly.

The Dragon turned around and recognition tingled at the back of my mind. “Max the Human. Didn’t you tell me I was welcome to stop by sometime?”

“...Run your name by me again? It’s probably been awhile.”

She raised a brow. “It has been two years, I suppose. I’m Chumana. We met during the migration.”

It hasn’t been that long for me, but why bring that up. “It’s been two years and you just walk up in a guy’s house? I was dreaming and I was totally about to nail my fiance!”

“Max!” Twilight yelled from the stairs.

“Don’t worry cherry, she’s friendly!” I called back. After a moment, I added, “I think.”

Chumana nodded. “I’ve come for breakfast and to talk. I figured that waiting in your house would be more comfortable than waiting outside.”

Twilight joined us shortly and I introduced them. “Twilight, this is my fire-breathing friend, Chu-Chu. Chumana, this is my fiance, Twilight Spankle,” Twilight hit me,” er, Sparkle.”

The Dragoness made a derisive noise. “I’m sure your mate hits you often if you call her that.”

“Freudian slip is all that was. I’m generally less of an arse when I actually get some sleep. Tell you what, let me get some coffee made and get dressed so we can catch up properly, yeah?”

She nodded. “I can wait until you get dressed for coffee.

I turned to Twilight. “We’ll pick up where we left off another night. Chu-Chu-”

“Didn’t I tell you that I would roast you alive for that horrid nickname?” Chu-Chu asked.

I gave her a look. “I can slice your head off faster than you can draw breath. Or I can just tell you not to and you’ll have no choice but to obey. One ends with you being my slave for eternity, mwahahaha, or you could be dead. Chu-chu is cute anyways. Be cute.”

Twilight hit me again and grabbed my arm. “I’m sorry, Chumana, but he’s goofy and infuriating on his best days.”

Chu-Chu shook her head. “It’s not a terrible quality to have. He just needs to learn how to shut up a bit better.”

“I’m teaching him, but I swear he has a learning disability some days.” Twilight said with a smile.

I pinched her. “Oi!”

She rubbed her arm and went to hit me again, so I caught her hand, spun her around, and swept her off of her feet. “Changing now. No more abusing me until after we’re dressed.” I said firmly.

Twilight pinched my chest and I was quite tempted to drop her, so I pretended like I was going to, dropping her a handful of centimeters and catching her while she was still falling. I warned her against doing something like that again and Chumana chuckled before having a seat on my couch. While carrying Twilight up the stairs, she softly told me that her legs worked perfectly fine and I asked her how else I was supposed to make sure she wasn’t going to hit or pinch me again. I also added that I was, at the very least, carrying her like a prince would a princess. Twilight tucked her head into my chest and I may have slowed down a little to enjoy the moment awhile longer, but we came to our destination all the same and I gently set Twilight feet on the floor. She wore a calf-length skirt and a breezy blouse, so I wore nice green button down and avoided anything in khaki. Fuck khaki.

When we came back downstairs, Chumana was sharpening her claws by grinding them against each other and it rather sounded like she was whetting blades every time she made another pass. After asking me to make the coffee, Twilight went to go talk to her for some reason, so I figured that I could also get started on breakfast. I still had a imperial fucktonne of eggs, so I made a ten egg omelette for myself and settled on four egg omelettes for the ladies. After sauteing my veggies to go in them, I realized that I’d fucked up the order like a dumbass and considered that Chu-Chu couldn’t eat vegetables like Spike could because she probably hadn't been raised on them. Nashoba hadn't brought me any meat and I hadn't had a chance to go hunt, so I didn’t have any of my favourite kind of protein on hand, meaning that we were a little fucked on luck. Still, by the time I finished breakfast, the ladies joined me in the kitchen, though Twilight and I were a little amazed slash weirded out when Chumana cracked an egg into her palm, fried it, and ate it like it was no big deal.

Dragons are weird.

Breakfast was nice and the conversation stayed pretty light. Chumana mentioned that she was going to be present for ‘some prince prick’s coronation’. I forestalled Twilight saying anything to that with a wave of my hand and asked why Chumana bothered showing up to some Pony bullshit thing. She said that the new prince was actually supposed to be important, unlike the rest of the princes in Equestria, so her Dad, a fellow Duke just of a different country, asked her to come to Equestria since she was pretty much a Dutchess. No one else wanted to come and since her father was pretty powerful, it really was his will that decided what she had to do. I mentioned offhandedly that I was a Duke too and that I’d be attending the coronation, but I left out the most important thing because I figured it would be hilarious to hear her reaction after the fact.

She asked me if I knew who the new guy was supposed to be and I mentioned that Shining Armour was Twilight’s brother and that he’d never actually received a real coronation, so it was possible that it could be him. Chumana took the bait and started asking about Shining, thus ending my involvement in the conversation. Twilight took over and told her about Shining, but she let it slip that she was pretty sure that Celestia wasn’t going to give him a legitimate crown. I agreed, but I kept it as a possibility, implying that we didn’t actually know who the next prince was going to be. That was complete bullshit of course, but still, I wanted to fuck with people and Twilight was going to let me since it was harmless.

Chumana offered to help with the dishes since she was pretty cool, but Twilight said that she always took care of them since I usually did the cooking, which opened Chu-Chu up to asking how I managed to eat so much. I explained my healing factor and Dark Magic to her and she made a three clawed gesture over her heart and pushed it away from her chest. I felt a slight breeze, but little else and she told me that I wasn’t evil. That really just depends on your definition of evil and I told her as much, which made her give me a look that would have made lesser beings crumble because, you know, she’s a fucking Dragon. I just raised a brow at her and patted one of her scaly breasts, telling her that Twilight called me evil all the time. I got casually backhanded for that and Twilight warned me against feeling up other women unless I wanted something shoved where the Sun don’t shine and I apologized for not remembering that Chumana was actually a woman. I almost got hit for that twice, but I used a Shadow Dive to get into the living room and avoid being abused.

Twilight teleported me back into the kitchen so she could hit me again, though Chu-Chu left me alone since my fiance had hit me loudly enough to make it sound like it hurt. It rather did, and the lecture I got about calling women unfeminine was unneeded, so I shut her up with a well timed, well placed kiss, and when she tried to push me away, I stood my ground and made sure that Chumana couldn’t see my hand as I groped Twilight’s ass. The purple princess actually put some strength behind pushing me away after that and asked me what had gotten into me since I’d been so calm yesterday. I couldn’t really tell her that I was freaking the fuck out about my imminent princehood, I just told her that I was feeling a bit whimsical and she frowned, telling me that I pulled pranks and told jokes to be whimsical. Chumana took it upon herself at that moment to leave for a few hours to see what she could see around town and cut off any offers to show her around by saying that she preferred to experience places herself instead of being lead around like livestock.

When she was gone, Twilight held my hands and continued giving me that worried look. “It’s not normal for you to be outright rude to your friends. Really, Max, what’s wrong?”

“Cherry, I have a day before I’m the first prince of my kind in Equestria. This is all being thrown at me before I’ve even been home for a week, Twilight, and I barely have my footing yet. The only thing I’m sure about right now is that I made the right choice when I proposed to you, but other than that, this is all unexplored territory that I can’t ask anyone about. Sure, you and Cadance have been in similar situations, but at least you’re from here. People outside of Ponyville know me from my exploits, whether it was fighting Blueblood or being an Operative, and I know for a fact that I’m going to catch flak for being a violent guy, but… I don’t know…” I sighed and looked at Twilight.

“...You’re scared. You’re actually really scared.” Twilight said softly.

“...I’m trying to not be.”

Twilight gently hugged me and I returned the gesture after a moment. “Look, amour, I’m here for you. Noir is here for you. Celestia and Cadance are here for you. Luna might put up a mean facade, but if you need her, she’s here for you too. You’re not in this alone, and you never will be as long as you remember that you have friends- No, family here that have been through similar circumstances. Yours might be unique, but you know how wise Celestia, Luna, and Noir are, and you know that one of them would say something if they weren’t fully confident that you could do this. I believe in you, Maximus. You, of all the ponies I know, you can do this.”

How much can I really say to that? “...Thank you.”

She squeezed me tightly before letting me go. “From now on, if you’re freaking out about something, I want you to talk to me about it, even if it’s not necessarily something I should know about.” I opened my mouth and she continued. “I know, amour, I can’t know everything you do. It’s just how you… Operate. I just want to reaffirm that you can come to me with anything, okay?”

I looked her straight in the eyes. “You can’t trust Discord.”

Twilight gave me a blank look and shook her head. “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

I closed my eyes and waited a moment. “Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t a part of the conversation anyway.”

The worried look on her face returned. “Are you sure? I didn’t mean to space out, it’s just that-”

I kissed her to avoid picking at that wound. “Really Twilight, it’s fine. Thank you for supporting me. I should’ve said something to you sooner, realized what was going on before I even came to the dreamscape, but meditating for so long made me feel so… Disconnected, from myself for awhile, oddly enough.”

She gave me a small smile. “It’s perfectly fine. I know that when I get really into a book or a theory, I can get really spacey for hours on end, but not even be thinking about anything. I know it’s not the same, but I think I get the gist.”

“You know, you used to prefer absolute answers over abstract ideas.” I said.

Twilight shrugged. “When I’m dealing with you, I know I’m not always going to get a definite answer. I learned to deal with that before we became an item.”

I puckered my lips. “Huh.”

She patted my shoulder and started lightly tugging me toward the entry hall. “I told you that I learned how to deal with you. Come on, I’m sure you want to spend the day out of the house for once.”

I grinned as a thought crossed my mind. “Actually, I have something I want to show you.”

And so we started a movie. I let Twilight pick something by its description and she ended up going with a movie called The Princess Bride. It was pretty fucking lame, all things said, but she loved it. Well, she loved it after she got over the whole mini-projector thing. The picture quality was decent, but I’m glad I bought a little speaker to go along with it, otherwise we would’ve had to have the laptop literally in our laps to hear anything. High end laptops had the speed, but I swear, they just didn’t put that much emphasis on volume.

Chumana came back as I was just about to put on something I actually wanted to watch, though she just let herself into my fucking house again. I told her that, if she kept it up, she’d be losing limbs and she dared me to try. Twilight threatened me with no more favours until I came back from The Canterlot Barracks, but I stood firm on my position that one needs to respect my Goddamn house because it’s common fucking courtesy. Twilight pointed out that she was allowed to both enter and teleport in whenever she felt like it and I just rolled my eyes, telling her that I’d literally bitched at Celestia for doing the same shit some time ago. If Twilight didn’t recognize that she was a very special case before, she got the point now.

Chumana sat in the chair next to my loveseat and I put on another movie, this time a slightly unsettling flick known as The Conjuring. I didn’t think it was scary, so I thought it would be a good one to have Twilight curled up nice and close, but not have her shaking in my arms, too terrified to even look at the screen. Turns out, Twilight’s a little less brave than I thought she was because she turned the movie off herself about three quarters of the way through it. She wrapped my arm around her and shivered for awhile, I cast a glance over to Chumana who was looking on in boredom.

I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t go with Would You Rather or Hostel. I think I might have caused permanent scarring with those.

I comforted Twilight by telling her that none of those things were real and that no one in Equestria would ever suffer through something like that and she just told me that she was shaken something fierce. Chumana asked if I had any snacks and I told her that I had some biscuits and a few other things in my pantry, so she could help herself. Before she rose, she asked if that was supposed to be scary and I told her that on my world, where magic and ghosts don’t exist, it was. Her next question was, of course, why would it be considered scary if it didn’t happen? My response was that the fear of the unknown and the testimonies of other people had made them seem so much closer to home since ghosts and the like don’t discriminate. As long as you’re on their turf, you’re fair game, and there’s not a single thing you could do about it. Chumana scoffed at my people for being weak and I reminded her that I had clawed my way back from death to kill one of her countrymen.

Twilight stopped shaking and asked me if I’d ever told her about that. I shrugged and went over the story again, telling her how the big green fucker whose name I never learned had picked a fight with me over some bullshit reason that I couldn’t really remember, and while I’d had my back turned, he’d ripped my heart out and tossed me off of the volcano we’d visited during the Dragon Migration. I explained that I’d found myself at the bottom of the mountain and had tapped into a bit of my Revenant power to exact my revenge in a horribly brutal way. I literally said ‘horribly brutal’ instead of going into the specifics and she told me that she’d probably just wanted to forget about it if I ever did tell her.

Chu-Chu rose from her seat and said, “You know Vikar was a distant relative of mine, right?”

“He shouldn’t have picked a fight with an immortal being.” I said simply.

“Max…” Twilight said softly.

“Cherry, he didn’t just hurt me. The bastard fucking killed me in front of Spike and threw my corpse off of a cliff. Do you want me to apologize for that or something?”

Chumana interrupted her reply. “I do not want one. I simply ask that refer to him by name in the future.”

“Vikar, yeah?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“I’ll do my best to remember it, then. Lord knows I need match names to blood more often than I do.”

“It’s not always a luxury we’re afforded, Max.” The Dragoness said gravely.

“Can we talk about something other than killing ponies for a little while? How about the magic of friendship?”

Chumana and I stared at her. “...Anything but murder. Please?” Twilight asked.

I kissed her horn. “Just not the ‘magic of friendship’.”

Chu-Chu nodded. “Anything but that. Where are these biscuits you promise?”

“They’re behind one of the two doors in the kitchen. If you see stairs, you’re at the wrong one.” I answered.

She left to go find them and I gave Twilight’s horn a lick, making her shiver in my arms. I tried it again and she shivered again before lightly patting my chest. I never saw how many licks it took to get to the center because I just popped the whole thing in my mouth and sucked on it, listening for Chumana’s footsteps. Twilight tried to push me off gently, but I bit her horn and she immediately shot a magical, grape flavoured load into my mouth that felt like… Well, I imagine it’s kinda like what ectoplasm feels like. It kinda sloshed around in my mouth for a little while and when Twilight got her breath back, I decided to see what she though of it, so I fed her some of her own magic through a kiss. I felt her go ramrod straight when the first trickle came into her mouth, and after that, any preconceived notions of me getting away with making her cum and giving her a kiss were gone. Twilight unfurled and, much to my surprise, completely dominated our kiss like she was scouring my mouth for any leftover traces of her magical residue, but she didn’t stop there. I heard Chumana come in from the kitchen with the biscuits while Twilight was snogging me fiercely, and I say she was snogging me because I was having a bit of a hard time keeping up with her. She was actually holding me in place, and when I tapped her shoulder (our usual signal to stop), she ignored it completely and I thought that I’d probably fucked up real good.

I tried pushing Twilight off of me gently, but she adjusted the strength she was holding me with as I tried to push, so I tried ticking her side where I knew she was weakest, but she didn’t even fucking budge, like, at all. After that failed, I tried getting her tongue out of my mouth so I could close it, but she held me fast. I would be pretty content to let her work it out of her system normally, but we had an audience of one person who was pretty much a stranger and I really wasn’t trying to put on a show. When Twilight’s hand dipped below the belt Chumana saw my resistance and thankfully fucked off so I could handle this properly, so I started putting real force into getting Twilight off of me, but to no avail. The next thing I tried was looking her in the eyes so I could give her a Black Eye, but we were too close for me to focus and I could only see one eye when I forced it open, so that was a no go. I couldn’t Soothsay her since my mouth was occupied, the Dark Aura didn’t work on Twilight, and I wasn’t about to pull the Warbling Blade out on her, so I did the only thing I could.

I bit her tongue.

I didn’t bite hard enough to draw blood or anything, but I know she felt it. However, that didn’t incentive her to let me go at all, so I left that one behind too. I was running out of tactics, so I tried pinching one of her ears, but when I did, she grabbed a handful of my shirt and tore the buttons off, exposing my chest and frankly making me panic. I know I promised to never try and actively hurt Twilight, but the liver blow I get her was enough to give me the half second I needed to extricate myself from her grasp.

“Twilight! Chill the fuck out!” I gasped from the floor.

She glared at me with eyes that didn’t seem quite like hers. They lacked the warmth, the kindness that Twilight’s had. In their place was pure, unadulterated lust. I knew that I was fucked if I didn’t do something, so I pumped as much Dark Magic as I could into my eyes and glared, though I only gave her slight pause. Her eyelids dropped, but she was a mare on a mission, or rather, a mare looking for a meal and I was every course. I done goofed. I fucked up real bad, and I needed to get the fuck out of my house before Twilight actually forced herself on me, so I did the first thing I could think of and panicked hard, dipping into the Shadow Realm without a destination. When I got there, I took a moment to breath and to make a thousand mental notes to +never feed Twilight her own horn-cum ever again unless I wanted extremely rough sex that I don’t even know if she’d remember. I panicked when I realized that Twilight was now alone, possibly with Chumana and one of them was a horny Alicorn. With my fiance’s safety and mental health in mind, I surfaced right behind her as she was staring down Chumana.

“Twilight Sparkle, he is not here.” Chumana said calmly.

“Where.” My lover hissed.

I grabbed her hoof and Shadow Dived us into Cadance’s shade, hoping that the Princess of Love would be able to overpower lust, and when Twilight picked me up off of the floor and continued where she left off, I turned my head, knowing I only had a few seconds to speak.

“Twilight! Lust! Hel-” My mouth was covered by Twilight’s again and I continued trying to push her off of me.

I took the time to notice that we were in Cadance and Shining’s room and that Cadance was the only one in there. She was also naked for some reason. I don’t give a damn what that reason was, but I knew that when she covered up instead of helping helping out, Twilight didn’t even bother with saying hello or anything. Nope. Her magic unbuckled my trousers and her hand grabbed my member, which would have been nice if she weren’t trying to suck my face off. When she started stroking me, my body betrayed me and I started to stiffen, but Cadance finally got her wits about her and magicked Twilight’s hands off of me, allowing me a moment’s respite. Gasping for precious air, I fixed my trousers and looked at Cadance, sitting against her bedpost.

“Don’t get me wrong.” I drew breath. “Grateful for the save, but what took you so fucking long?”

Cadance’s head whipped back and forth between me and Twilight. “Max, what’s wrong with her!?”

“I sucked her horn a little bit and kissed her with magic still in my mouth.” I replied.

Cadance looked at me like she didn’t understand what that had to do with anything. “I don’t understand. How do you suck magic out of a horn?”

“With your mouth. It’s usually just tasty and fun, but I think it’s an aphrodisiac to Ponies or something.” I leaned my head back. “Seriously, thank you.”

“...Max, was Twilight about to-”

“Nope. We’re not talking about this until we figure out whether or not she’s remembering any of this. Is there some spell you can use to cleanse the lust from her system?”

“I don’t know of one, but Max, this is serious!” Cadance protested. Twilight continued struggling against her sister-in-law’s magic until Cadance winced and put her in a bubble. “I really don’t know how long I can hold her, Max. If she was just a Unicorn, this wouldn’t be a problem, but I’ve never met a pony as magically gifted as Twilight!”

Fucking shite. “I’ll get Celestia, see if she can do something about this.”

“I’ll go since I can teleport. Just… If you have to, use your Dark Magic to make Twilight calm down, okay? I don’t like the idea, but…”

“I can’t. I promised to never Soothsay Twilight.” I said gravely.

Cadance pursed her lips and didn’t bother saying anything else before teleporting out of the room. I got up from my resting place and walked over to Twilight’s bubble, placing my hand against it. The look of frustration and on her face made my heart ache, but I was honestly scared of her before we’d gotten her contained. My fiance kept pounding her fist against the bubble, though she kept one hand in place to mirror mine. I told her that she would be alright a few times, sounding feeble even to myself, so when Celestia and Cadance popped in, my shoulders sagged with relief and I gave Twilight an honest smile.

Looking over my shoulder, I asked, “Alright ladies, so what’s the game plan? Magic her libido down until she’s back to normal, or-”

Celestia conjured up a paperweight and threw it at me, so I ducked and it bounced off the bubble. “You jackass. Who sucks horns anymore? That was over a thousand years ago!” Celestia said peevishly.

“How the fuck was I supposed to know!? I’ve barely been on this planet a year!”

Celestia huffed and cracked Cadance’s bubble with a single punch, though she shook her hand afterward. Once Twilight was free, she tried to run to me, but she couldn’t get past Celestia who wrapped her up in a hug. The Solar Diarch’s horn glowed brightly before Twilight’s eyes took on the same light, and a few moments later, my fiance was released and she stumbled a little bit, rubbing her eyes.

“Wha- Where am I?” Twilight shook her head to clear it.

I wrapped her up in a hug. “Hullo, cherry!”

Twilight pushed away from me slightly and looked around. “Max, why are we in Canterlot?”

“I’ll tell you later maybe.” I kissed her cheek. Turning to the whitest one in the room, I said, “Thanks hun. I really do appreciate it.”

Celestia sighed. “Just don’t do it again. Feeding an Alicorn their own magic after a… Climax, is a potent aphrodisiac. I suggest that you don’t do it again unless you plan on swallowing the majority first.”

Twilight and Cadance blushed hard. “Wait, what happened? Max, is something going on?” My fiance asked.

Well, I’m not going to lie. “Well… I kinda sucked your horn, and when you blew your magical load in my mouth, which tasted like fine wine by the way, I decided to share a little with you to see if you liked it too. That was a mistake.”

Twilight stared at me. “...Are you serious? What happened after that to make me lose my memory?”

I shrugged. “Well, after that we did a lot of kissing, but it was a lot more than usual.”

Her eyes flickered to my shirt. “...Did I do that?”

I looked down. “I’m sexy as fuck. I don’t blame you for wanting me, especially if you weren’t quite in your right mind.”

Twilight put her hands on my arms. “A-Amour… Did I…?”

“Kiss me like I’ve never been kissed before? Damn straight. You practically licked the back of my throat, which was weird but good. It was gweird.” I nodded sagaciously.

“...Did I rip your shirt?”

“You were a little eager, I’ll say that much. Don’t worry about it too hard, cherry. Next time, I’ll swallow your load like a good little human and we won’t have to worry about it.” I said nonchalantly.

“I really feel like you’re downplaying this by a lot…” Twilight said suspiciously. She turned to Cadance and Celestia. “What really happened?”

Cadance coughed and blushed. “Well, when Max brought you here, you were a little aggressive with what you wanted, but it didn’t go beyond some touching and kissing.”

Twilight lit up. “I-I…”

I gave her a kiss. “Like I said: don’t worry about it. You weren’t really in control and I learned my lesson without anyone getting hurt.”

“...Why do my ribs hurt?” Twilight asked.

I looked away from her and whistled casually until she whacked my arm. “Oi! Can’t a man practice his whistling?”

“Not when you can barely do it!” She huffed. “Max, did you have to hit me to get me off of you!?”

“Yeah, but fuggedaboutit, yeah? It’s already in the past, and I still have a Dragoness in my house. I think. Either way, let’s invite whoever wants to come to watch some movies at my place, yeah? We’ll keep them to the romance stuff instead of the scary movies.” I gave her a warm smile.

Twilight glared at me. “Maximus, did I try to force myself on you?”

“Why are you so concerned about it? Don’t worry, everything was taken care of and there won’t be a repeat performance-”

She grabbed the remains of my shirt. “I-I did, didn’t I?”

I kissed her again, but she pushed me away. “It doesn’t make you a bad person, cherry. You weren’t in control, and you don’t even remember doing it. Magic fucks with your head like that, yeah? I say we learn from it and let it go.”

Twilight’s lip quivered. “But-”

Cadance cut in. “No ‘buts’. Max is right. Everything was taken care of and he made the right decision in coming to Canterlot in the end. Why don’t we go back to Ponyville and watch the romance films like he suggested?”

Celestia sighed. “I would love to join you, but I have things I need to take care of. You three have fun. I’ll see you after tomorrow.” And with that, she teleported away.

Twilight still seemed disturbed, but she gave in to Cadance’s words. I was a little offended that she hadn't bothered to listen to me, although I suppose Twilight knows I would forgive her for just about anything. I don’t know if I could have forgiven her for actually forcing herself onto me, but it was easy to let it go when I knew she wasn’t in her right mind and knowing that the worst that had happened was some stroking that I wasn’t necessarily okay with. Hell, if she hadn't been so forceful about it, I would have been fine up until she tried to mount me.

In any case, we went back to my place via teleportation and I showed them something called Brokeback Mountain because I thought it would be funny, but I was terribly wrong. It was not funny at all. The previous events of the day were forgotten about halfway through the movie with Cadance sitting awfully still and Twilight’s hand creeping between my legs rather slowly. I was softer than cotton, and when she actually made contact, I gave her a look and she withdrew her hand, so I traded roles with her and she was far more receptive than I had been. I don’t really know how I feel about my girlfriend thinking I would get off to something I’d shown blatant disinterest in before, but I knew I wasn’t okay with getting a handjob while there was male on male romance going on. I was happy to please Twilight, however, and if it was her thing, then I was happy to indulge her a little bit.

Cadance’s head whipped over to look at us when the first little moan escaped Twilight’s lips, but Twilight just covered her mouth. I looked over and gave the older princess a wink before sliding my fingers under Twilight’s tights. I let my hand go limp she grabbed my arm, but when she didn’t make a move for me to stop, I shrugged and continued, gently stroking her soft flesh through her knickers. My fiance cuddled up a little closer and Cadance let out a little cough, shooting me some serious side eye, so I looked at her, knowing that she couldn’t see much over the high arm of the loveseat.

“If you’re thirsty, there’s an entire cellar of wine, if you’d like a glass or two. If you want something a bit stronger, you’re welcome to my liquor too.” I said conversationally.

“...I’ll be right back.” Cadance replied shiftily. She rose and walked off toward my cellar, casting glances back us the entire time.

While she was leaving, I slipped my hand under Twilight knickers and felt that she was enjoying the movie more than I’d thought by a good margin. I didn’t feel like teasing her entrance for more than a few seconds, just enough time to lubricate my fingertips, and that was so I could toy with her clit comfortably. Twilight asked if I would mind grabbing a blanket and I did so happily, though while I was grabbing one from the closet, Cadance came up from the cellar with a nice bottle of raspberry wine that I’d tried once. I’d expected her to go for one of the strawberry ones, but then again, if I had a liquor that tasted like my own semen, I probably wouldn’t be that keen on drinking it with my sister-in-law either.

Cadance poured us all a glass, and Twilight put an end to my fun. I was bored as fuck through the rest of the movie, though both of the ladies were shifting around in their seats by the time it was over. I offered to play a significantly less gay one and they tried hinting that they wanted to see the sequel, so I rolled my eyes and told them that I’d only heard of Brokeback Mountain as far as popular gay movies. Their disappointment was palpable, so I told them to just turn themselves into guys and fuck each other if they were that interested. Twilight asked me if I’d really be okay with it and I told her that I was as long as it was Cadance. The pink woman said that she was married, but Twilight said that she would explain everything if Shining found out. Cadance balked, though she said that she was going to have fun later in the night and Twilight scrunched her face up, probably a little grossed out by the prospect of her brother having sex. I asked Cadance how her sex life was going, making her blush and give us a quick farewell before heading back to Canterlot.

As it turned out, Chumana came back around eight to see if everything was okay and I told her that shit was back to normal and that she could have one of my rooms on the lower floor if she needed a place to stay. She shrugged and said that she was flying back to Canterlot and that I was ‘really fucking weird.’. She wasn’t wrong, but I maintained that things were only so weird because I’d just come back from an Operative mission that kept me away for a long time and magic had been in play earlier. We both cursed magic, though she called me out since she knew I had to use it to take Twilight to Canterlot. She was totally right, but I pointed out that my magic was extremely limited in what it could do, which made her ask what all I could accomplish. I told her that I could Shadow Dive and drop people with a look, but not much else since I like to keep my shit hidden when I can. Chu-Chu accepted what I told her, though she knew I was hiding things from her. She didn’t comment on it, however, and flew away shortly after, so I returned to Twilight.

We didn’t watch any movies, but we did use the built in camera on the laptop to make our own. Twilight was a little camera shy when we started, but once I told her that we could watch it whenever we wanted, she was a lot more open to the idea and things got interesting. I don’t know if she was still feeling some side effects from her magical load earlier or if she liked being able to watch what happened later, but she was a little more proactive than usual, even going so far as to try deepthroating for the second time. She didn’t do any better, but I appreciated the fact that she tried.

When we were finished, we watched the video we’d made and Twilight was enraptured by the sight, though I can’t say much. There was a blush on my face the entire time we watched it, and when I locked the folder and made it private, I showed Twilight how to open it. We are the only two people on this planet who can view that and adding to the secrets we keep together just felt like it brought us that much closer. I was thrilled that I’d gotten Twilight to forget about what happened earlier and showed her by doing her a few more favours without asking for anything in return.

Once I got Twilight nice and sleepy, I grabbed my journal and started writing in bed. Shit’s been weird up to this point. I don’t really have all that much to say about today other than that I look forward to just getting this prince bullshit over with so I can stop stressing about becoming one and start stressing over being a good one. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. I really fucking hope it is.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My morning was fine up until about nine when Pinkie and Fluttershy came over. They had totally different reasons for coming over, and Fluttershy’s were a lot more sensical than Pinkie’s. The buttery fluttery one wanted Twilight to come with her and Rarity for some interesting shopping that they were embarrassed to tell me about and Pinkie wanted to talk about something she wasn’t comfortable discussing in front of Twilight. Of course I found that to be quite odd seeing as how Pinkie will talk about damn near any and everything in front of any or everyone, but I figured she wanted some privacy for a good reason, so I was willing to give it to her. Once Twilight and Fluttershy were gone, Pinkie asked if we could sit in my parlour and have some tea and biscuits which was perfectly fine by me, though I was starting to get a little worried about our little talk.

As I was sipping some rather hot tea, Pinkie picked up a chewy biscuit and nibbled on it. “Hey Max, can I tell you something?”

I tilted my head. “You can do whatever you want. Hell, you tend to anyway.”

She gave me a look. “You’re such a butt sometimes, you know that?”

“I’m well aware. What do you want to talk about, Pinkie?”

“I wanna talk about True Magic. I think yours is a bit like mine.”

Well that’s- Actually, it’s not that surprising. “Really? Do you think you could teach me to tap into it more easily than I have been? I’m sure you already know I spent an entire week trying to get it to work.”

Pinkie nodded. “Honestly, you’re just trying too hard to find it. When you really need your magic is when it’s going to pop up, so you just need to think of something you want. I don’t know what all hints and tips you have to work with, and I don’t think you’ve described your power, so I don’t really know what it does, but I think you need to try looking at this from my perspective.”

I looked at her and blew on my tea. “I don’t quite understand what that means, Pinkie. I’m pretty sure the way you see the world is the proper way to experience it.”

She waved her hand. “Don't be silly! There’s no ‘proper way’ to experience the world, just a more inclusive view. I’m just saying that it would probably be easier for you to use your True Magic if you didn’t look at the world like a sane person.”

I thought about that for a second. “In theory, I can induce insanity by spending too long in the mindscape. It’s helped me grasp my powers before, but if that’s true, then I should have been able to do it while I was meditating since I stayed there so long this time around.”

Pinkie giggled. “That’s not how it works, silly! Sure, you might start to get a little wonky when you spend too much time in your own noggin,” She sneezed out a handkerchief and blew her nose with it before stuffing it into a pocket, “but you have to think about why you start getting wonky!”

I scratched my head. “Huh… the only thing I can think of would be that I’m losing my grip on reality, but-”

Pinkie shook her head rapidly. “Nope! You’re still on face value, Max! You need to go deeper!”

I looked at her. “Look, the only thing I can think of is that Noir bends time while I’m there and the curvature of that bullshit makes me lose my understanding of what time is.” Pinkie looked at me and rolled her hand forward. “...So when I start losing my grip on time-” She frowned. “When I start losing my grip on the laws of physics?” She smiled. “When I start losing my grip on what I understand the world to be, I start being able to access my powers more easily?”

Pinkie smiled brightly. “You’re getting pretty close, Max!”

I nodded. “So what you’re trying to get me to understand is that my view of the world is too narrow to properly use my power?”

She tilted a hand from side to side. “Eh. I’m trying to get you to understand that reality itself is kinda subjective. Not everypony can just up and do what I do, Max. I might have a little bit more going on for me than say Twilight or Princess Celestia, but I couldn’t ever hope to match Discord. I know I’m not supposed to talk to you about him, so I guess we’ll keep that little bit to ourselves, but we can safely talk for the next…” She checked the underside of her wrist and rubbed some fur for a moment. I swear there wasn’t a watch there when she started. “Five or so minutes. What’s your power, Max?”

I wasted no time in explaining. “True Theft. I can steal anything with my left hand, whether it be physical or conceptual. I can reach through time and space as well as other dimensions to grab something, but I have to know what it is before I can take it. If it’s a concept, I have to use it with my right hand, so I guess I could steal time from someone and put it into something else.”

Pinkie gave me a grim smile. “You’re not going to be able to steal Discord’s life. His will is a lot stronger than anypony else’s. Even mine, which is why he’s stronger than me. What else you can steal from him is up to you to figure out, but I can tell you that you can put Discord down.”

“I know I have the capacity, but I need the know how. If I can start stealing physical things, then I can move on to concepts in time. Getting the basics down first is just too pertinent-”

“They’re really not. You can already tap into your power, Max. You’re one of the scariest beings on this planet right now, you just need to think more like a crazy pony. You need to see beyond your Earth laws and get hip to the Equusian ones before you go anywhere, you know?”

I shook my head. “I think so, but I don’t know how I’m going to be able to get this done up correctly. Are there any hints you can give me while we still have time to get them out on the floor?”

She shrugged. “Think outward, not inward. True Magic isn’t in your bones, it’s in your heart. When you can swallow the world with your mind, things get a lot easier.”

What the fuck? “What the fuck does that even mean? Seriously, love. That’s kinda cryptic.”

“That’s how advice on this sort of stuff works.” Pinkie reached into her mane and whipped out a pair of shades. “Deal with it.”

“That’s an old meme and you know it.” I scolded.

“Don’t hate, appreciate.”

“That’s even older!”

“I can’t help it. There aren’t really any memes here on Equus, so I like to see what Earth has going on from time to time. I only get snips because I get caught a lot.” She sighed.

I threw a biscuit at her. “Stop breaking the laws of physics.”

She ate it. “It’s more like I’m breaking the walls of literature, but it’s okay!”

“You act like we’re just in a story or something. The only person writing this shit down is me.” I said irritably. I’d better be the only one writing this.

“Dimensions and universes, Max. Once you understand them, you’ll know what I’m talking about.”

“I’m sure I won’t.”

Pinkie sighed again. “True. The only ponies I know of that get it are super-sane.”

“Is that a Dragonball reference?” I asked.

“Sane, not Saiyan, silly!”

“Whoever called you sane might be a few notches off the mark.” I sipped my significantly cooler tea.

“They might be, but then again, they might not be!” Pinkie made a balancing gesture with her hands. “It’s really just a matter of how you look at it, honestly.” Her eyes sparkled and I heard her heart pick up.

“Is there a reason you just got excited?” I asked.

Pinkie drain the tea from her cup and ate all of my fucking biscuits. When she stopped pigging out and swallowed, she let out a contented sigh and came over to grab my hand. “Max! Let’s go pull pranks!”

I wasn’t going anywhere. “Pinks, I really can’t. Princes can’t be caught pulling pranks.”

Pinkie pouted. “Don’t be like that! We’ll just prank Rainbow and Rarity!”

“Isn’t Rarity still pissed at me? She might have hugged me when Twilight and I gave our news, but she’s still not happy with me.”

“Then we can prank Blue and Trixie!”

“...Sure. Why not?” I shrugged.

“Great! Let’s go!”

And so we did indeed do some pranking. Pinkie, for some odd reason, had a cardboard cutout of Trixie, so she was the first one we went around to prank. My partner, for some even stranger reason, knew Trixie’s schedule for the day by heart and so we went around with the cardboard thing and set it up in a window wherever she went. Trixie started becoming more and more visibly disturbed throughout the day when people pointed out that they’d just seen her creepily staring into the window with her pointy wizard hat. If that wasn’t funny enough, Trixie spotted herself twice and Pinkie and I had to run and hide to avoid being caught.

We finally gave the jig up when Trixie shot a beam of magic through a window and made our little cutout burst into flames. Pinkie and I stayed put in our hiding place and Trixie came outside to put the fire out before it could catch anything else, and once she saw that all was fine, she started looking around for the culprits of the prank, but didn’t find us after a few minutes and gave up. Pinkie rose from her hiding place and Trixie was immediately back, having only cast and invisibility spell and started chiding my partner in crime for making her think that she was crazy, but Pinkie maintained that all she’d done was carry around the magnificent visage of Trixie wherever she felt like going and that Trixie had ruined a one-of-a-kind item in her haste. Trixie wasn’t falling for it until Pinkie firmly demanded remuneration for the destruction of her property with her hand out stretched.

Trixie looked at her funny, so I stealthily rose from out of the bushes and snuck around the building so I could pretend to have come from somewhere else and asked if there was a problem. Trixie explained that Pinkie had been following her all day with a cut out of her and was now seeking payment since Trixie had burned off most of the top half. I argued that Pinkie had probably just wanted her to sign it or something silly like that, and while Trixie was looking at me, Pinkie changed out of her combat boots and camo for her outfit from earlier. My sister gave me a look when I suggested that Pinkie hadn't been pranking her, and when she turned to look at Pinkie, she saw a sniveling, youthful looking girl giving her sad eyes that were brimming with tears. Trixie wasn’t falling for it at all and told us to leave her alone, so I gave her a hug, called her a meanie head and left with Pinkie.

Trixie warned us against pranking Blue like we’d done to her as we were going and I promised that we’d keep it mild, so I asked Pinkie if she could get her hands on some candies with an incredibly bitter center and she pulled a few things out. She said they were filled with ‘Bitrex’, something I didn’t think existed here, but there were three of them and Pinkie said that we each had to have one if we were going to make someone else suffer through it. I agreed, though I wasn’t terribly sure how I was going to like the bitter aspect of it, so I was a little wary.

It was about seven when we got to Blue’s shop, so she’d be closing down soon and she had a few browsers in there with us. I greeted my Mum warmly and received a hug while Pinkie asked if she wanted to try her new candy. Blue was immediately suspicious since she knew about my streak for being a prankster and Pinkie was already notorious for it, but I offered to randomly juggle the pieces as she tossed them to me with my eyes closed and she eventually agreed on this strict conditions since it was an entertaining way to make sure everything was good and kosher. Blue tossed the first two pieces to me with my eyes open and I tried to keep the flow up, but I admitted that I was going to have to peek, just in case I misjudged a throw and dropped one. Blue allowed it and I switched my style up from time to time and things were perfectly fine. She snatched one of the candies from the air with magic, so Pinkie grabbed another as I was tossing it and I caught the last one. We all sucked on the jawbreaker-like thing for a little while and they were actually quite good. Pinkie mentioned that she’d dipped them into at least twelve different kinds of sugary goodness and each were tasteable. I was particularly fond of the grape and lemon ones, though the apple and vanilla were a bit strange when compared to the other flavours.

Soon enough, Pinkie bit her candy as children always do and her face screwed up hilariously. Blue and I continued the conversation while the pink prankster went to the liquor store to grab something to get the taste out of her mouth, and I noticed that she spent a good while spitting once she got outside. Blue and I continued talk, but while we were finishing up with our latest topic, namely the wedding I was planning on having in either the Crystal Empire or in Canterlot, Pinkie came back and Blue chose that moment to bite her candy, grimacing something awful and spitting the terrible center out onto her counter top. Pinkie handed over the smallish bottle of amber liquid she’d bought and Blue swished it around in her mouth to clear the worst of the taste and I bit my own candy just to see what the hubbub was about.

It was fucking awful.

Imagine having coffee in your mouth, but not good coffee. Like someone just re-brewed the same pot, over and over, adding new grounds to the kettle every time they poured the coffee back into it. They do this for days at a time, making their coffee so unbelievably bitter that it makes you want to stop eating or drinking for the next week just so you don’t have to face the flavour of something else again. Seriously, it was easily one of the most unpleasant things I’ve ever put in my mouth, and I’ve sucked dick before. Granted, it was Twilight’s dick, or rather, Dusk’s, but still. Fucking gross.

Blue chastised us for making her taste something so awful, but I asked her if the candy before that was good and she said that it had been, so I gave her another hug and asked her to write me and have Spike send the letters while I was in Canterlot. She promised that I’d be getting a couple from her, and with that said and done, Pinkie lead me to Rarity’s for some reason. I told her that I really wasn’t trying to talk to someone who didn’t want to talk to me, but Pinkie wasn’t listening very well, though when we got there, I realized that I wasn’t going to be talking to Rarity per se.

Sweetie Belle was standing outside, obviously waiting on something when Pinkie and I came into view. She waved and met us halfway, though she’d learned to wait until we were within respectable speaking distance to start a conversation in my two year absence.

“Pinkie! Max! I’m glad to see you two!” She said, relieved.

Pinkie smiled. “I told you I’d be by today and I always keep a Pinkie Promise!”

“I don’t know why I’m here, but I’m sure it’s something interesting.” I said flippantly.

Pinkie nudged me in the ribs, so I pulled on her hair a little bit, which made her step on my toes. I gave her a spank with my tentacle and she gave me one with a holey paddle that I hadn't seen before, so I picked her up a few feet off of the and dropped her on her arse. She got up and hit me, so I hit her back. That continued back and forth for a little while until we ended up wrestling, though that concluded with me putting Pinkie in a headlock.

“So is there something you needed?” I asked Sweetie Belle while she was giggling her head off.

“I-” She hiccupped. “I just needed-” She did it again. “Pinkie to check some stuff.”

I glared at Pinkie. “Why’d you drag me over here for stuff you need to do?”

Pinkie was licking my arm, trying to get me to let go. “I wanted to hang out with you!”

I let her go, though she started gnawing on my arm anyway. “That’s weird Pinkie.”

She didn’t respond, so Sweetie Belle took over. “Pinkie’s helping me put a concert together! I’ll be performing after the Pony Tones, but I just don’t know how to start with advertising, and I don’t want it to seem like I’m doing Rarity’s thing…”

“The days where I could ruffle your hair and tell you that things will be fine might be gone, but then again,” I reached over and ruffled her hair, making her glare at me cutely, “I’ve never really given a damn about what I should or shouldn’t do. You’ve got this, Sweetie Belle. Keep your wits about you and you’ll have your audience.”

Sweetie gave me a half smile with furrowed brows. “Gee, thanks Max.” She smoothed her hair out. “You know that’s the quickest way to mess somepony’s mane up, right?”

“That’s the reason I do it.” I smirked.

She reached up and tried to do the same to mine, but I just shook my head and mussed my hair back up in the way I preferred. “Okay, so it doesn’t really work with guys. You know, your mane looks a lot better than any other stallion’s I’ve seen when it’s long.”

“I take care of my hair because Twilight touches it at least once a day. Having someone put their hands on your head daily is a good reason to keep things nice.”

Sweetie leaned in and sniffed me. “You smell good too.”

“It helps to not smell bad. I’ve always been terribly concerned with the way I smell to others, so I try and keep a nice bottle of cologne on me.”

Pinkie nodded. “Max always smells good!” She went back to gnawing on my arm.

Sweetie Belle blushed. “You know, I always thought you were handsome when you were dating Rarity, but I thought that was because I was hoping to have a handsome older brother.”

Nope. Not happening. “Eh, I’ve met better. It really just depends on your tastes.” I tried subtly.

“Well I think Twilight has good taste.” Sweetie said firmly.

How do I shut her down politely? Oh! I know! “Well aren’t you just the sweetest thing on two hooves!” I said patronizingly, pinching her cheek.

She swatted my hand away. “Don’t do that! Fillies are sweet! I’m a mare now, Max!”

I raised a brow. “A young ‘mare’. One who happens to be short, cute, and most of all, sweet.”

She glared at me, blushing hard. “You’re such a mule! I even gave you compliments!”

“I gave you compliments too. Mine just happened to be a lot more platonic than yours. I’m too old for you, Sweetie Belle. That, and I’m already taken.”

Her blush intensified. “The first part isn’t true! You’re four years younger than Twilight, and didn’t you date Celestia of all ponies!? Does age really matter to you?”

“Twilight was only two years older than me before I went back to Earth, and Celestia’s a special case. Besides, I’m engaged to Twilight. Nothing could happen between us, and I doubt Pinkie would be willing to keep it a secret if we did.” I looked to my hanger on and she gave me a thumbs up.

Sweetie huffed, her face still bright red. “You’re just difficult.”

“True.” I responded simply.

She looked at me. “Don’t ponies usually get upset when you say that?”

I raised a brow. “You say that like it’s not true for me. I’ve been told that I’m difficult multiple times by pretty much every woman I know. Pinkie might be excluded from that list, but-”

Pinkie let my arm go and I wiped her slobber off. “No, Max is right. He’s pretty difficult. You really couldn’t handle him.”

I gestured toward Pinkie. “She’s not wrong. Rarity couldn’t handle me and Fluttershy barely could on my better days.”

Sweetie Belle turned away from me. “I could handle you.”

“Love, you can barely handle Spike, and he’s a lot nicer than I am.” I said blandly.

She snorted. “Spike is too nice sometimes.”

“Be patient with him, Sweetie Belle. Relationships work both ways.”

She sighed. “I know, but I’m ready for stuff he wants to wait on-”

“If you’re trying to rush it, you’re not ready.” Pinkie cut in.

“Exactly.” I confirmed. “Is waiting for something really all that bad? I’ve still yet to have sex with Twilight, even though she wants me to hurry up already. She’s worth waiting for, and Spike thinks the same about you.”

“It’s just not fair that the guy gets to make that decision!” Sweetie said angrily.

“It’s not just one person's decision, Sweetie Belle. If you force someone into something, there’s a strong chance that you might alienate them or make them incredibly uncomfortable. Hell, I’ve been sexually active since I was your age, but you know why I never pushed anyone to do that sort of thing with me?” She shook her head. “Because it’s not fun if you’re not both comfortable with doing it. Something as intimate as sex requires a bit more time, and it just varies person to person.”

“Whatever.” She huffed. “Come on, Pinkie. Let’s get the concert put together.”

Pinkie Pie gave me a hug and joined Sweetie Belle in walking back to Rarity’s shop, so I fucked off and grabbed my necklace so I could figure out where Twilight was since there wasn’t anything I really wanted to do. The glowing path thingy took me to Sugarcube Corner, strangely enough, so I walked in, ordered a malt shake and listened in for Twilight’s heartbeat. I heard it in a booth on the opposite side of the little shop, so I made my way over and spotted Twilight talking to Rainbow and Fluttershy, so I made my presence known to Twilight and was shooed away.

Well then.

I fucked off and tried to avoid getting the thick ice cream into my beard, and once I finished it, I left because why would I hang out? I didn’t see anyone else I knew, so I went back to my house and wrote Twilight a note as I packed for my days on the guard training ground. I had quite a few plain black shirts that I didn’t mind getting ruined, so I put those in a spare rucksack that I’d never used and packed some trousers that Twilight had me buy. I thought twice about just packing random shit that I thought would be fine and sent Celestia a letter asking what I should pack to wear for training. She sent one back telling me to wear whatever for the basic training and that Luna expected me to have a week’s worth of dark clothing and another’s worth of day wear. I figured that I could mix in a few of my darker blue shirts as a way to kiss arse and thanked Celestia for letting me know.

With seven shirts and seven pairs of trousers and pants prepared, I checked my boots for any signs of significant wear and tear, but they’d been magically reinforced at Cobble Pot’s shop, so they were still doing pretty well. I’d have to have them redone before I went off to the Canterlot Barracks, but they’d serve me even if I didn’t do it. Shit, they were fucking great boots, after all. With my shit packed, I sent Twilight a note asking if she wanted to come to my place for the night or if I should go to hers and she said that we could bear to spend a night apart. I was understandably upset by this since it would be our last night before I was crowned, and we were going to be apart for an entire month after my day to settle into my princely duties. I didn’t say anything to her, however, and just started smoking because I didn’t want to be bothered anymore. If Twilight didn’t want to spend the night with me, she could stay the fuck at her house then. I wasn’t even really all that angry in the first place, but I was feeling hurt that she’d spurned my company, especially since we’d already spent the whole day apart.

I skipped drinking because I knew that wouldn’t make anyone happy, so I just had a bowl and waited to see if I’d be completely fucked for a little while. I wasn’t, so I started writing more of A Star-Crossed Love, and I’d be lying if I didn’t make the character I’d based off of Twilight start acting a little distant to keep up with what I was feeling at the moment. Noir spoke to me since it was quiet and I was alone, so I went into my mind and she met me in my old hang-out with pizza and video games all ready to go.

“Blackberry, you’re seriously the fucking best.” I sighed, having a seat in my hammock.

She tossed me a controller. “I know. You understand that Twilight is not trying to upset you, correct?”

I levitated myself a slice of pizza. It was even my favourite kind: white sauce, chicken, spinach, bacon and ham. “I understand that this is the last night we have together before I’m stuck being something I really don’t want to be. Honestly, I just want to spend every precious second with her, but-”

“Twilight has her reasons, Maximus. She may not have told them to you, but they are there.” Noir reassured me.

I shrugged and ate some delicious pizza. “I don’t really care what they are at the moment. So what are we playing? Borderlands? Co-Oping Dark Souls for once? Maybe some Ultimate Alliance?”

“I was thinking a bit of the Borderlands Pre-Sequel myself.” Noir said, taking a piece for herself.

“You’re on, tall, dark, and fearsome.”

She actually blushed at that. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. So what do you make of what Pinkie said about my True Magic? Do you think we should just hang out here until my mind starts to slip so we can get it out in the open?”

“No, if a week of meditation in your mind did not do anything, then I rather doubt that spending time here will do much for you. Your mind began to go in the Everfree, and that is the reason you were able to wrap you head around using your telekinesis in the first place. Honestly, I think you should completely isolate yourself for as long as you can bear without going completely insane once you come back from your training with Luna.”

“Pinkie said I just needed to change the way I view the world and what’s possible-”

“Which is what near-insanity will do for you. Once you go back to your Everfree mindset, I am willing to bet that you could become as powerful if not more powerful than the average Alicorn.” Noir snacked heartily, dropping a piece of chicken in her cleavage.

“Aren’t Ponies supposed to be herbivores?” I asked.

She fished it out and popped it into her mouth. “I like meat. Please address the important things.”

“Alright. So how powerful am I in comparison to the average Alicorn right now?”

“You are about a quarter of their strength. What little magic you do have could give an Alicorn pause, but there is not an Alicorn alive that you could actually hope to defeat in a fair fight. Your best chance would be to turn them against each other or to seal their magic so that you could stab them, but even then, Twilight while weak is still stronger than you by a wide margin if she feels like she needs to be.”

I nodded as I took that in, chewing on some tasty, tasty pizza. Something from what felt like years ago surfaced in my mind. “...When I first got my telekinesis, rocks were floating all around me…”

“But when you tried to use it, the power became a singular entity.” Noir finished, giving me a sly smile.

“...So you’re saying that by directing my magic, I’m actually weakening it in a sense?”

“I am saying that there are different ways to channel your magic. You use it as a tool, but not as an extension of yourself. If you come to see it as a part of your soul, another piece of the whole, then you could do more with it. Granted, you have not done much experimenting with the magic you have, but you had a great grasp of what it could do when you were Celestia that one time.”

I thought about that. “I need to feel it instead of directing it. By trying to use my telekinesis as a tool, I made it into one, but it’s really an extension of my will in a incorporeal form, which is why Celestia said that it was magic in the first place.” I held my pizza in my hand and tried levitating it like I’d done a thousand time before, but this time, I willed it to rise instead of picking it up.

Noir and I watched as I worked without working, tried without trying. It was an odd feeling, but after a an hour and one hell of a headache, the pain disappeared and was replaced by a calm assurance that I was doing something right. While I was maintaining the calm, things around the room began to raise as if someone had turned off the gravity, but I held my elation and maintained the stony neutrality I’d kept. This was different from meditation in that I was looking outward instead of inward, just as Pinkie had suggested I do in the first place. It just… It made sense to me in a way. There was no way, rather, there still isn’t a way I can describe it. I felt like I was on the cusp of understanding something so much larger than myself, but it just wasn’t the right time, the right conditions for me to make that discovery yet.

I gently willed everything back to the ground and wondered why doing something so simple as changing the way I looked at my power had altered the way it worked, though I didn’t question it. A melodious chuckle ran through my head while I was thinking and Noir looked around.

“Good job on step one.” An androgynous cadence of voices echoed.

Noir’s eyes widened. “God?”

The voice stopped speaking and we looked at each other. I knew for a fact that I wasn’t going to get any further than that until I went back to the Everfree, but Noir’s face was a stony mask of worry. I hopped down from my hammock and put my pizza down so I could go give her a hug that she returned after a moment.

“Maximus, was that really-”

“Yes. It was. First time hearing Their voice in person, right?”

“The memories I get from your trips in heaven are hard to follow. You are truly on the path.” She said quietly.

I blew into her ear and she squirmed. “That’s right. We just figured out the first piece of the puzzle. Now it’s up to me to continue down that path.”

Noir pushed me away. “That is a strange feeling. The blowing, not the success. Sit down and let us celebrate with video games, yes?”

I went back over to my hammock and picked up my pizza before sitting. I devoured the rest of its hot goodness so I could get to the vidya already and Noir did the same with hers. We were both fucking elated about our progress in the field of understanding, but as we chatted about all the possible avenues I might take to enhance my grip on the subject, we came to the same roadblock a few times. It expanding my view of what was possible was all it took, then why didn’t I have full control of my powers already? I understood that my misinterpretation of telekinesis in the Everfree had changed what I understood it as, but in the mindscape, I could pretty much do whatever anyway. I’d done so much creating and destroying, altering my body in various ways without needing an in depth understand or really even trying, so why was I only now on the second step? Noir reasoned that I’d just scraped the surface of feeling and that I’d get it more after time, so we decided that we’d keep trying to bolster my telekinetic strength whenever I was in the mindscape to see if that would help with my perception.

When Noir told me that my standard eight hours were up, I asked if she would mind too terribly if we continued with our visit. She said she would give me another four hours since it was a special occasion and I decided that I would spend three and a half of those hours smoking a rack of ribs because sometimes Americans get things right. I would have done them lower and slower, but Noir warned me that trying to extend my time by using stupid tactics would get me kicked out, so I kept to our timeline and we talked about some other stuff, like the largest sword she’d ever masturbated with, the longest I’d ever gone while fapping, and what we should do the next time we got together. She said that we should do some form of stress relief since it was might be a couple days until I could get a moment to meditate and I agreed, so after eating the ribs we made, I left the mindscape and checked my pocket watch.

Noir hadn't made the time pass much faster while I’d been in the mindscape, so I’d been gone for a few hours in the confines of my mind. I was still coming down from my high back in reality, so I went back to writing and got a fair portion done before my motivation petered out. It was shaping up rather nicely and the ending was looking like it would be right on track. Once I put the book down, I checked my pantry to see if I still had those loaves of bread I’d bought and made myself a massive egg sandwich. I was honestly getting tired of eggs, but after adding some cheese and onions to them, they were a lot more tolerable. Either way, even if I didn't like eggs, I still needed to eat them in place of protein if I was going to continue building muscle. Something struck me then I struck me. It was my first night without Twilight since… Shit, I dunno, I wasn’t really paying that much attention, but that did mean I could slip into the Everfree and do a little hunting!

I was going to throw on some dark clothes until I realized that I was already wearing some and patted the Warbling Blade. It’s not like it ever left my hip anyways, so I was good to go whenever I felt like it. I wrote out a note to Twilight telling her that I was going to go hunting and that I would be back by morning, just in case she was up at this ridiculous hour and went out to go find myself something tasty.

I remembered the scent of the weird goat-thing I’d killed a while ago, so I figured that I could hunt another one of those while I was out and about. The moon was high and it’s light filtered through the dark canopy in spots and spaces, light parts of the path while it’s absence obscured others as shadows tend to do. Suddenly, I felt a lot better about not being with Twilight and felt at ease, like I was slipping into an old pair of house shoes that I’d been walking around in forever. My natural stealth and the Everfree’s energy lended themselves to making the moment feel like a proper hunt, like I was going out for food because I was starving. I mean, I needed the meat anyways, but people tend to freak out when you start killing shit around Ponyville. I’d never been caught with a kill, and I really wasn’t trying to ruin my streak now, so I stayed quiet and listened to the sounds of the forest, willing my heart to steady and my ears to picks up even the faintest breath, the slightest disturbance in the leaves.

I noticed something making quite the commotion from far behind me, but it was rapidly closing in. I was startled since I’d only ever known one thing to move that fucking quickly, but I didn’t think that she was going to be out and about so late at night for no reason. When it was upon me, I wasn’t all that surprised to find those lovely blue eyes looking back at me, but it was still pleasant to see her.

“Hullo, Nashoba.” I said quietly.

She butted my chest with her head. “Max. What brings you into the Everfree?”

“Looking for something with meat on its bones. Mind if I have a bite of you?” I jested.

“Only if I can have one from you, my silly Human. If you want, we can hunt together. I’m never terribly full, so I could spare some time to help you land a kill.”

“Have we ever hunted together?” I asked.

“Not for food.”

“Oh yeah, the Kobolds. Fuck those guys.”

She nodded. “Fuck those guys. So what are we looking for?”

“Something goat-like. I got one the last time I was here, but I think I got sent off on a mission before I could eat it.”

“How terrible. If only you had a steadier source of food.” She said sarcastically.

“Oi. No protein, no strength. No strength, no hunting. Besides, someone hasn’t been dropping off haunches like they said they would.” I reminded.

“You were gone for two years. I forgot about it.” Nashoba defended. Kinda.

“Fair enough. So can you scent something on the breeze or are we going for a walk?”

“It’s going to be a bit of a walk.”

I nodded. “How did you know I was out here, anyways?”

“My Foremother, Sirius, follows you out of interest. I don’t see you very often because I don’t have to.” Nashoba informed.

“You know that’s creepy as shit, right?”

“She’s not unlike Noir, Max. She can’t directly affect you, and she is much like I was before I became Wolfmother. She’s actually a lot less irritable than I was, so I thought she would be a good match to watch over you, just in case you came to any danger.”

“Then where was she when Twilight was all over me?”

“...We don’t pretend to understand your Two-Leg mating rituals, Max. We really don’t.”

I sighed. “Shut up and let’s find some food, yeah?”

“Then we walk. How has your time back on Equus been?”

“Well, I’m becoming a prince and I’ll be going to Canterlot for a month so I can receive some training on that sort of thing. Well, about three quarters of it is going to be getting my body into fighting shape, and the other quarter is going to be a crash course on my princely duties, depending on how fast I can learn it. I’m sure I’ll be going over a lot of things with Noir.”

“That sounds very tedious. I would rather take my journey again than spend a month doing your petty Two-Leg nonsense.”

“Right now, I’d rather have the quick and painless option. Well, it’s actually going to be incredibly painful, but still.”

“Like I said, Two-Leg nonsense. Still, if there is any Two-Leg I have met that can overcome it, there is none other than you who will exceed expectations.”

I patted her back. “Thanks, Nashoba. Twilight told me that I have a lot of support going into this, but I have to say I trust you as much as I do Noir to give it to me straight.”

“You've known me longer.” She grumbled.

I scratched her ears. “But Noir knows me better. She knows me better than anyone possibly could, so don’t feel like it’s a competition.”

“What’s your favourite color?” Nashoba asked out of nowhere.

“I’d have to say it’s royal or navy blue. One of the two. I like both, honestly. What’s yours?”

“I like dark and bright red.” She answered.

“So you like the sight of blood?”

“I see it often enough. What is your favorite food?”

“Whatever red meat I can get my hands on, pretty much. It used to be lo mein, but those words mean nothing to you, so I’m going with red meat since I fucking miss it already. Seriously, going without meat after having it every day on Earth sucks arse.”

“You’re right, those words truly mean nothing to me, but I understand the love of red meat. Birds are fine, but nothing beats a good deer.”

“Actually, can we go hunt a deer? I actually learned how to skin one of those while I was in America for a couple days. I had to get a hunting license, but it was worth it just to have some venison I killed myself.”

“I have no idea what most of that means, but I’m sure you enjoyed yourself. We could always head to the fringe of the Everfree, but I’m not sure if you could get close enough to a deer in the Whitetail woods. I have luck because I’m faster than they are. You might struggle since your magic has a range limitation.”

“Actually, I learned how to do something else, I think. If I can, I’ll show you now.”

I closed my eyes for a moment to steady my breathing and opened them again, willing the detritus around us to shift and swirl, to rise and go away from us. I kept my heartbeat nice and steady through a breathing technique some talk-show hosts taught me to keep calm during an interview, and after not giving a shit about whether or not it worked, things started rising all around Nashoba and myself. I wondered what would happen if I tried to direct it, so I raised a hand, but it was as if there was a force limiting how quickly I could move my hand, so I lifted it a bit harder and noticed that the leaves, branches, and general loose materials started forming a pillar of sorts as I brought my hand to about shoulder height. Instinctively, I flicked my hand in a circular motion a few times and the pillar started to swirl , drawing the debris from further away into it which struck me as pretty cool, so I tried pushing the pillar back down and it flattened out, spreading across the forest. The spot Nashoba and I stood in was bare, but the area around it was covered pretty evenly with what I’d picked up.

Nashoba looked at me. “...That was interesting, but I’m sure that noise scared off any prey that may have been anywhere near here.”

I shrugged. “And it would’ve attracted any predators, so we should probably get moving unless you want Manticore blood in your mouth again.”

She snorted in distaste. “Disgusting. They taste worse than cats.”

“Then let’s get to stepping.”

And so we did. We stopped talking since we were on the prowl, and like we’d thought, predators of all kinds started coming out of the woodwork until they caught Nashoba’s scent or felt the lethal vibe she was putting off. It didn’t help that I was throwing out my Dark Aura to go right along with it, so we got most of them to fuck off without bloodshed, though I did get to meet a wild Dog that seemed to know Nashoba. He asked her if she’d killed anything and she told him that she hadn't and invited him to come hunting with us if he could shut the fuck up for two minutes. He couldn’t, so she told him to follow a fair distance behind and wait until we actually did find something worth eating.

After about an hour and a half, we found a target, so Nashoba and I crept closer to it, neither of us making much more than odd rustle in the leaves below. Once I was sure that I was close enough to strike if Nashoba failed, I had her circle around and took to the trees. Our target was one of the deer-like creatures I’d spotted eating fruit during my stay in the Everfree, and as it was bedded down, I had the advantage of the high ground and crossed through the trees using their branches as impromptu bridges. It wasn’t terribly quiet, nor was it terribly easy, but I wouldn’t have chosen the route if I hadn't thought it out, but during my last jump, the prey nearly bolted. Still, I was directly above it now and it was staring in Nashoba’s direction, so when I landed on its back and slammed the Warbling Blade through its brain, things went well.

And then it started fucking screaming.

The crazy deer thing tried to get me off of its back, and since I’d landed on myfeet, it was about to do a damn good job of it until Nashoba came from the shadows like Death itself and tore a chunk of its throat out like she was biting through cotton candy. It calmed down quickly after it came to the sudden realization that it was dead as fuck, and soon after it bled to death, Nashoba ripped one of its forelegs off and nibbled on it a little bit. By that I mean she held the hoof part on the ground by the knee joint and cleaned all of the meat off in one go. Shit was fascinating to watch, but I had to get to work and started field dressing it until Nashoba offered to drag it closer to my home. I welcomed the gesture after ridding the thing of it’s entrails, though they didn’t stay on the forest floor for long. The wild dog from earlier came and tucked in while Nashoba and I were on our way out and I could hear the heartbeats of various other animals waiting for a chance to come and get our leftovers.

The walk went a lot faster since we didn’t give a shit about making too much noise. Nashoba dropped the deer-thing to tell me that her Apex Aura mixed well with my Dark Aura, so we put them to good use and got back to my place pretty quickly. I had to clean the deer in the woods to avoid getting blood on everything, but once everything was done, I set up a decent spit in my backyard and started roasting the meat I’d collected. I’d taken the time to find a large, flat rock that I could cook more meat on and collected more sticks to make spits out of so I could make use of the fire I’d made. What I didn’t cook outside, I took inside to cook on the stove and started putting as much of the meat as I could into the icebox in my cellar that I’d never used. Magical utilities are nice like that.

Nashoba followed me around and we talked about some of the stuff that she’d done as the Wolfmother, but she swore me to secrecy since I was one of three people she was allowed to trust with this information, those people being Fluttershy, Uror, and myself. Fluttershy because she was so respected in the community, Uror because she’s the fucking Matron, and me because I was her master before ascension and I’m her ‘chosen’. We might not spend much time together, but Nashoba and I never lost that closeness we built when I first came to Equestria, and the time we spent together really bonded us together. We survived multiple battles together, and I know that this might be our last hurrah as far as being able to take on an opponent in any capacity, which makes me rather sad that I didn’t get to take her on more missions. Actually, now that I think about it, that’s not fucking true at all. We literally have a war ahead of us and I’m going to be fighting in. God, I’m fucking stupid sometimes.

Nostalgic bullshit aside and queer, somewhat bloodthirsty hope for the future in hand, we move on. I went back outside while the meat on my stove was cooking and pulled the strips from the first spit off since they were cooked. I was just drying the rest of it besides what was on the stone slab anyhow, so I moved the spit over a little bit once I had the meat on a plate and reloaded it with meat, but now it would be drying instead of cooking. While I was trying to poke the strips of meat from the stone slab onto the plate, Nashoba asked if I’d mated with Twilight yet. I told her that we were still waiting, but that I’d proposed to her, though I had to explain what that meant to her in Zgon terms. She understood it as me calling mating rights on her for life and I agreed since that was pretty much what it was if you took love out of the equation, though Nashoba did understand the concept of love better than she used to.

I asked Nashoba if she was still mating with Krel and she told me that she’d had Twilight cast her spell on her a few times when she went into heat so Krel could take care of her desires, but she thankfully stopped there. I didn’t want to hear any more than that and I didn’t need to, not by any stretch of the imagination. That being said, my follow up question was on how Krel himself was doing and she mentioned that he still wanted cubs, even if he had to claim his own territory, tooth and claw, so that he could raise them in the Everfree and I asked why she didn’t just set scent markers to claim some as hers and make Krel her mate. Nashoba let out a heavy sigh when I asked that and told me that Uror had offered to keep her offspring in her clearing, but that they would never be able to have children of their own. It just wouldn’t be right to mate and expect her children to never want the same. I respected that and left it alone since she obviously didn’t want to talk about it.

To make up for touching on a sore subject, I gave her the plate of meat save for a strip I’d kept for myself and we snacked as the sun rose. The meat was a little gamey, but that was to be expected, though the sunrise was magnificent in its own right, as it usually is. We only watched it for a few minutes before heading inside to check on the meat in and on the stove. The meat on the stove was prepared, so Nashoba and I had steak for breakfast, and once the meat in the stove was done a few hours later, I got it wrapped up and put it in my pantry.

I still had a lot of meat left to work with and I was running out of time to do stuff with it, so I went downstairs and grabbed the salt I’d kept buying every time I went to the market to cure meat and started wrapping my left over loins, belly meat, and shoulder meat in cheesecloth and started curing them with all sorts of spices. Seriously, I made a fucking tonne of the stuff and hung it all from the rafters in my rather dry shed since I had sawdust everywhere. Any moisture in the air would hopefully be collected by that, but I resolved to grab some ash and charcoal from my fire to further help along in the process.

When the strips of meat above the fire were finally done, I got those wrapped up and brought them inside to be stored before lighting candles all over the place. God forbid a Pony come into my house and find it reeking of cooked animal flesh or some shit. Honestly, I understand that they don’t like eating other creatures, but it’s a fucking fact of life, a part of nature: Things eat other things. They just do. Do I have to so I can survive? No, I don’t, but I don’t have access to the same supplementary bullshit Earth Vegans do, and even if I didn’t Humans are omnivores. Seriously, the worst part about being in Equestria is that they’re all herbivores by nature, but at least they have a reason. Fucking Earth Vegans and their pushy, preachy, pretentious bullshit.

Rant over. New day already dawned. Let’s get back to the actual bullshit that means things, yeah?

So Nashoba took her leave after eating most of the deer and leaving me what I’d already cooked. I took a shower and got my morning ritual done before I wrote Spike a note and offered to give him a steak for breakfast since I knew the guy was fond of meat, and I’d saved a particularly large slab for him. Seriously, it was like a full kilo of meat in my skillet, and when he told me that he’d be right over after feeding Twilight, I remembered that I was mad at her for not wanting to spend the night with me. It’d worked out in the end, but still.

Spike came over along with Twilight around nine-thirty and immediately upon walking in my fiance started scolding me about not trying to air the place out and I told her to shove it. She was understandably taken aback by my cold tone and harsh words, so when I walked her around the down stairs and showed her that my windows were, in fact, open and that I did, in fact, have several candles lit, I asked her if she would like to rescind her statement. Twilight gave me a concerned look and asked if I was okay, so I told her that I was upset that we hadn't spent our last night before I became royalty together. Twilight furrowed her brows and crossed her arms, stating that nothing would change after I became royalty just like nothing had changed for her. She considered it just another night, but it really wasn’t just another night. I pointed Spike toward the dining room and told him that the food on the table was for him and that Twilight and I were going upstairs for a talk.

Once I closed my bedroom door behind us, Twilight said, “Max, it really is just another night! I don’t see what the big deal is!”

“Twilight, are you fucking serious right now?” I said in a low lethal tone, making her wince. “If it was just another night to me, would I really be upset? I’ve told you so many fucking times that I never wanted to be a Goddamn noble, neverthe-fucking-less royalty so fuck me for wanting to spend as much time as I possibly could before I become one of the things I hated the most on Earth! God for-fucking-bid I actually want to be near you before I go away for a month, and when I get back, I’m already fucking slated to go again! If you would’ve let me talk to you yesterday, I could’ve told you that I have to go into the Everfree solo-”

“That’s not happening.” Twilight cut in, her voice a naked blade.

“It has to. For me to understand how my magic works, I need to get back to the brink of insanity, and if you’re there, then I’m too tethered-”

“It’s. Not. Happening. I’m letting you go to Canterlot because I know Celestia and Luna will keep you safe. I’m not letting you stay in the Everfree for a month-”

I got up in her face. “My magic either saves the world or it crumbles. I don’t want to leave you to go to Canterlot, but I’m going for the good of Equestria. I don’t want to go to the Everfree, but I’m going for the sake of the world.”

Twilight set her jaw. “What the buck are you even talking about?” She spat.

“If I could tell you, I would, but there’s magic on you that even Celestia can’t dispel.”

She snorted. “Yeah right-”

“Discord’s planning a World War.” I said hatefully.

Twilight blinked a few times, her face clearing before going back to the peeved look. “What were we talking about?”

I spread my hands before running them through my hair, turning away from her. “It’s not your fucking fault. God-fucking-DAMMIT!”

Twilight startled at my sheer fury and despite being upset herself, she reached out to touch my shoulder. “Look, I understand that you feel like you have to do this alone-”

I growled and went to swat her hand away before sighing and losing my steam. “What you’re not understanding is that I actually have to do part of this alone. No contact from you, the Princesses, or even Noir. I’m solo on this one, cherry. It’s one hundred percent up to me, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“...I already told you that you’re not becoming a prince on your own, so what makes you think you have to do anything else on your own?”

I held up three fingers. “I asked Pinkie’s advice on how to tap into my magic-”

Twilight looked at me like I was retarded. “Seriously? Everypony knows Pinkie isn’t all there in the head, Max.”

I looked her in the eyes. “Pinkie isn’t stupid, Twilight. She might pretend to be, but that girl is nearly as smart as you if I’m guessing right, and she’s a lot more powerful than you think she is.”

Twilight furrowed her brow and tilted your head. “Max, I think you’re just taking things too seriously. Pinkie isn’t some secret genius-”

“Does what I say to you just not matter today, or do you just feeling like ignoring me?” I snapped. “I’m telling you the truth: Pinkie is a mind like no other. She might be insane, but her moments of clarity make her one of the most terrifying creatures on this planet, Twilight. She breaks the laws of physics on a daily basis-”

“Max, that’s just Pinkie being Pinkie. She’s not a secret genius, I’m telling you!”

I groaned. “Fine. If you don’t think Pinkie’s advice is worth a damn, then how about Noir’s?”

Twilight clutched a hand to her chest. “Well…”

I raised my brows at her. “And as I was saying before with Pinkie: she told me that I need to stop thinking like I’m on Earth and come around to the laws that are on Equus. Pinkie’s advice-”

“Max, Pinkie doesn’t give good advice on magic!” Twilight objected.

I glared at her. “I swear, cut me off again and I’ll throw you out of my house Twilight Sparkle. You spent two years waiting for me because you accepted my word as absolute fact, but now you can’t wrap your head around your friend being a little more than she seems?”

Twilight clutched her hands together. “...I won’t interrupt you again, but I really don’t think Pinkie is who you think she is.”

I sighed heavily. “How many times have I seen sides of people that you’ve never even thought to look for?”

Twilight didn’t answer, so I picked up where I left off. “As I was saying. Pinkie gave me some confusing advice about True Magic-” Twilight gasped, “Yes, she knows about it, and no, it’s not because I told her. Pinkie advised me to change how I look at the world and Noir basically told me the same thing, so I changed how I looked at my telekinesis, and after an hour’s worth of work, I got it back into its original form-” Twilight opened her mouth and I sighed. “Alright, I’m sure this one’s actually important, so just ask.”

She nodded. “What do you mean ‘it took it’s original form’? I thought you said that it’s always been a tentacle?”

“Since I’ve been able to actively use it, that’s been the story, but when I first discovered it, I was just levitating rocks from all around me. I just recently learned how to do that on purpose.” I answered irritably. “Can I continue?”

Twilight looked at me sadly and nodded, but before I went on, I just wanted a hug from her, so I didn’t bother asking and just went for it, wrapping my arms around her until she pushed me away. That started to ache in my chest until she put her arms around my neck and drew me down for a kiss that made apologizing seem like it was that much more important. When I pulled away, she spoke before I had the chance to.

“Amour, I’m sorry I didn’t spend the night with you, it’s just… I didn’t really take into consideration that we wouldn’t be able to share a bed for so long so soon after you came home but… I’m kind of freaking out about being engaged, you know?” I tilted my head and she hurriedly added, “It’s not that I don’t want to get married to you! It’s just that… It seemed like a long-term goal, you know? When you came back, I thought you were going to wait until things went back to normal, but… Things are changing, and you’re more swept up by it than I am. I mean, look at what’s happened since you’ve come back! There’s been so much on your plate and I… I just feel useless…”

I couldn’t let that go, so I answered her with my lips first and resorted to words after I heard her heartbeat level out a little instead of the harsh throbbing it had been doing. “Cherry, you’ll never be useless. Knowing that you’ll be by my side, that you’ll always love me… It helps with so much. I’m not the best person right now, but the only reason I have any good left in me is because you give me something to be here for. When I came home from Canterlot that day and I was so torn up, you just kept me tethered down… I was going to do my best to stay dead after I told Luna about what Graham did to me, Twilight, and you just being there for me… I’ve never wanted to end my life again. I’m sorry I didn’t consider that I just sprung my proposal on you out of nowhere, but like you said, things are changing so fast, I don’t know if tomorrow is promised to us, not just me.”

We looked at each other for a moment, but it was Twilight’s turn to speak, despite how much I wanted to say something. “Max, I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you and that I spaced out in the middle of a conversation. I’m sorry that I kept interrupting you and didn’t… Well, I still don’t believe you about Pinkie, but it’s hard to see something different in a pony you’ve known for the majority of a decade. If you say she said something that turned out to help you with your magic, then I believe that, but Pinkie is crazy.” Twilight gave me a weary grin.

“You’re forgiven. I’m sorry I was so cold and angry with you, but I was just so hurt… I felt like you didn’t value our time together, and I know that’s not true, but I want to spend my life with you, Twilight. We have thousands of years, and I can’t think of not wanting you around. Even when I’m knackered or livid with you, I just want to know that you’re around.” I sighed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the Everfree thing sooner, but I’ll wait a few days before I leave again. I’d like to avoid leaving at all if I can, but…” My shoulders slumped and I pursed my lips.

Twilight kissed me again. “I understand, amour. It’s non-negotiable, isn’t it?”

“When we go to Canterlot today, I’ll check in with Celestia to see if there’s something else she thinks would work. To my knowledge, you Alicorns just have an innate knowledge of your True Magic and how it’s supposed to work.”

“Well… Yeah, I guess. I mean, it’s not really the same for everypony. Mine and Cadance’s magic work similarly since we bring out the emotions in other ponies that are just latent or are just being covered by others, but Celestia and Luna said that theirs couldn’t really be explained to Cadance.”

“They grasp the world and make it turn, don’t they?” I asked.

Twilight’s eyes widened. “H-How did you know!?”

“It fits with what Pinkie told me about my own power.” I sighed. “I can’t do something on the scale that Celestia or Luna to my knowledge, but I’m supposed to be able to read through dimensions and what not. Maybe that’s why my magic is so hard to grasp?”

“...Max, if that’s true, then your magic is probably stronger than mine.” Twilight said, absolutely staggered.

I shrugged. “You have Unicorn magic, which is a lot more useful.”

She bobbed her head from side to side and made a ‘so-so’ gesture. “Kinda. Either way, if Spike is done eating whatever gross thing you’re feeding him, we really need to get to Canterlot.”

“Cherry, Spike’s supposed to be a carnivore. We’ve been over this.” I sighed.

“He never needed meat before.” She huffed.

“Because you kept him small, weak, and docile. He loves meat Twilight. I’d be surprised if he doesn’t ask for second, even with the fucking slab I gave him.” I lead the way out of my room and Twilight followed closely behind. I offered her my hand and she took it, so that was nice.

We came downstairs and Spike was still picking his teeth, relaxing on my couch when we came down the stairs. “What’s up, guys?” He asked lazily.

“We’re heading to Canterlot now. How was breakfast?” I asked, a little worn out already.

“Duuude!” He said. “You’re the best brother ever!”

I nodded. “Damn straight, and don’t you forget it, mate.”

Twilight sighed. “I’ll never get why you think eating other living creatures is necessary.”

“Well, for one, I don’t eat them while they’re alive, Twilight. I don’t see you bitching at Nashoba for eating other animals.”

“Max, Nashoba is an animal!” Twilight protested.

“She’s an intelligent animal, and what are people other than intelligent animals? My people were born as omnivores, Twilight. You judging me for eating meat is like me judging you for eating flowers. They’re literally just decorations and on my planet.”

She gave me a look. “Plants don’t have feelings.”

I raised a brow at her. “They don’t, but they can feel pain.”

She rolled her eyes. “Max, that’s ridiculous.”

“Multiple studies from my planet have shown that they really do. Just think: Every time you take a step in a grassy field, you’re causing so much pain.” I inspected my fingernails.

Twilight hit me. “Max!”

I pinched her back. “Are we really wasting time on this? I’m sure we have better things to be doing.”

Twilight rolled her eyes and Spike got up to join us. “I’m not even going to respond to that.”

I smirked. “You just did.”

“Shut up, Max.” Twilight said blandly, her horn already glowing.

A few moments later, we were standing a little ways from Canterlot Castle, and there were already a fucking ludicrous amount of people waiting for entry. When Twilight popped us in, people started making way for the latest princess, though I’m pretty sure that no one really recognized me as the new guy at all. I wasn’t expecting anyone to give a damn about me until I made the speech thing I was supposed to make, so when I specifically got held up at the Castle Gate when Twilight and Spike passed through, I tried not to be all that offended. Twilight came back while I was chiding them for not realizing that I was with my fiance and when she told them that she actually was preparing to marry me, so they apologized profusely and let me through. I was tempted to throw Seals at them and make them weak or dumb, but then that would be mean and I was supposed to be nice for the day while in public.

Celestia teleported us into her private audience chamber once we crossed the castle’s threshold and the gang was all there, already waiting for us. The girls, Blue and Trixie, Cadance and Shining, and Luna were all poking about, talking or doing just about fuck all. I got through and talked to them all for the most part, though Shining avoided talking to me by glaring a special set of daggers that were only supposed to be brought out for fucking Assyrian Honor Duels or some shit. Seriously, the amount of pure spite and loathing in the guy’s eyes made me a bit wary about dealing with him in the future. It was a damn shame that we’d fallen apart so soon after finally bonding, but then again, I’d been gone for so fucking long… I wish we could reconcile, but I don’t think it’s in the cards for us right now. Maybe in a few years we’ll get back to square one and he’ll just hate me for loving Twilight.

While I was talking to Cadance to thank her again for helping with Twilight’s crazy lust thing, Luna took me aside to tell me that, if my True Magic really could help us with our ‘problem’, then she wouldn’t kill me for becoming too powerful. I just gave her a bored look and told her that I’d figured she wouldn’t be stupid enough to kill the only chance we have at preventing our ‘problem’ from taking hold and destroying everything. We kept our conversation nice and quiet about the merits of keeping me alive , but she maintained that if I ever grew too powerful with my Dark Magic, she’d still kill me. I welcomed her to it, if she really thought she could follow through and kill a Prince of Equestria without people asking questions. She said that she would just tell them that Nightmare Moon returned and seized my body, making me a tool for her evil. It was a very pleasant conversation.

Once all the talking and shit was done, everyone went to go change into their proper attire since it was supposed to be an event of the highest order. As it turns out, some fucker who only knew what Celestia told him about me made my suit, but when I learned that it was Hoity Toity, the fashion guy that I’d met at Fancy and Fleur’s, I realized that I’d missed an opportunity to get him to know me as well as possible. In any case, the suit they had made for me was… Odd. It wasn’t gaudy, thankfully, but it wasn’t exactly plain either. My seal was over the left breast, pretty much exactly where it was on my chest, and the suit itself seemed to be a rather normal three button tuxedo, though it was a pleasant, darker charcoal grey with royal blue accents. It seemed quite fashionable to me, and when I came out of the room I’d gotten dressed in, I felt like I was hella handsome until a maid came up to me and told me that I was to be groomed by some hairdresser. I was tempted to Shadow Dive away since I didn't really want to be bothered with it, but then Twilight came to find me and she… Well, she looked rather nice.

Her dress was mostly a lighter purple, nearly pink, with a pale yellow sash that went around her shoulders. She was holding a royal blue one that matched my accents and I went ahead and threw it on, feeling like a dumbass. Sashes don’t look good on dudes, but Twilight told me that I looked extremely handsome and that she hoped I’d wear the same tux on our wedding night. I told her that I’d hold onto it, just in case we ever wanted to dress up on a special occasion and she told me that, under no circumstances, was I to wear this particular tux for anything other than official business or our wedding. I told her that I wanted to have Rarity make us something for our wedding and she said that Rarity wasn’t going to want to make anything for me. I pointed out that I wasn’t exactly expecting on getting married soon, just that I’d wanted us to at least be engaged before everything got super crazy. Twilight gave me a smile and a kiss before saying that she felt like she’d been worried about getting married too soon and I explained that it was normal for people from my world to wait years before going through with the actual marriage part and she asked why that was. I didn’t have a solid answer for her, so I theorized that it was because of financial issues or they had a specific date in mind.

While we were walking behind the maid lady, Twilight mentioned that she needed to have her hair put up and I said that I liked the way it looked while it was down, especially since she’d tried the new style. She asked what I meant and I told her that the wavy curls at the fringes of her hair were a bit more alluring than the straight edges she’d had before I went away and she took a moment to look at the curled tips before it really dawned on her. She blushed and thanked me for the compliment, but maintained that her usual style just wasn’t going to cut it today.

Speaking of people’s usual styles, my mop of hair seriously needed a trim. As it was, the stuff was down to my shoulders and it hung just about everywhere. I’d put it in a ponytail while hunting, but when I’d finished cooking my meat and took my shower, I’d let it do whatever and now I had some serious work to be done. The stylist, a pleasant woman by the name of Satin Shears, asked me if there was any style in particular I’d like her to do. I just asked if she could avoid making me look like a pompous prick and go for something a little more humble, but she said that pompous and proud was the order of the day. When I started to argue that nobles were supposed to be humble in the first place, she cut me off and said that she had the perfect style for me, and Satin said that I might even be happy with it. I shrugged and let her get to work, keeping a polite conversation going and telling jokes. When she finished, I kinda looked like some hipster prick, but not a pretentious hipster prick, so I was sorta-kinda okay with it. It was the best hair cut I’d gotten so far and told her as much and Satin asked me to come back to her if my mop ever got out of hand again. I told her that I would and nearly meant it.

Once that ordeal was over, I went to go find Twilight again, but Celestia scooped me up before I could get to her and had me go wait in some room because the shit was supposed to be starting soon. I really didn’t want to do that shit, but I did anyway and when Celestia teleported me to the place I was supposed to wait, I paced around for a little bit before sitting down and having a think about why Celestia was so set on making me a prince anyway. It was late for this kinda consideration, but still, I gave it some thought and concluded that she must have wanted me tied down in some way, shape, or form, specifically to Equestria. I mean, I could have gone back to Gryphonia after I knew that Elfriede wasn’t going to kill me, but it just hadn't been in the cards for me, so I figured making sure that I stayed loyal to her was out of the question. I thought about the services I’d done for Equestria, but the only things I’d really done were steal back a crown-thing no one really cared about in the first place and assassinate a neighboring king that got a little out of hand. I mean, sure, I know she still loves me, but I couldn’t wrap my head around how she was planning on selling my becoming a prince to the common folk, especially since I hadn't done anything they’d really known about. It was something that seriously worried me to no end, but I tried to not let it get to me and just tried to relax as well as I could. To get my mind off of it, I practiced with my original telekinesis some more and actually tried willing some of the heavier thing around to rise. The more I tried to lift at one time, the more my head started to feel… Well, it wasn’t really fuzzy or painful, but it was just weird, like something was expanding and contracting wool or cotton around my brain and folding it in on itself , seeping into the cracks. It felt like I was learning something or other, but at the same time, like it had just been something I’d known all along.

When a random butler came in and told me that it was time for me to make my entrance, I willed everything to return to its original position in the room since I’d made everything start swirling around me on accident. I didn’t miss the odd stare the butler gave me while I was walking out, so I asked him if he was okay and he just said that he’d never seen anyone other than Princess Celestia or Princess Luna do that much at once. Most Unicorns could barely manage the couch, and by the time I’d finished, I’d had most of the furniture in the room in the air, but I chalked it up to my original telekinesis being weird. I was pretty sure that by picking up random things I was actually exercising the mental muscle required to do what I’d done. Still, I didn’t have much time to enjoy thinking because I was quickly ushered before the door that had once held Shining and Cadance’s wedding.

“Fillies and gentlecolts!” Celestia announced. “Today, I have the honor of presenting to you for the first time a stallion who has done great things for Equestria. This stallion was not born in Equestria,” There were a few gasps I could hear through the door, “but nevertheless, he has served our great nation well in his time here! He has reclaimed the Diadem of Sovereignty, built a diplomatic bridge with our neighbors to the north, the Gryphons of Gryphonia, exposed the dishonor of a former Prince on multiple occasions, saved the wedding and the life of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, assisted in saving the Crystal Kingdom, built more relations with the Guardians of the Forests, and has most recently fulfilled a mission of the utmost importance that cost him two years of his life. This stallion has done much good for the sake of Equestria and for the Princesses of Equestria personally, so it is much to my pleasure that I introduce to you: Prince Maximus!”

The doors in front of me opened, and before I started my walk down the navy blue carpet, I took a deep breath and corrected my posture, trying to appear confident and self-assured while feeling just about anything but. I could handle the pressure no problem, but as I walked I had to keep my eyes on Twilight to make sure that I didn’t falter a single step. I turned my gaze to Celestia when I was about halfway there and slowed my roll a little bit since I’d been getting a bit quick as I carried on. Keeping a cool head was key, and if there was ever a time for it, now was that time. Thankfully no one gave me a fucking song, though I did like the music that was playing. It was upbeat and rather tasteful, if I do say so myself

When I came to the Dais, I wasn’t really expecting much, but when Twilight came forth with a smile and a ring that matched the dark steel of my pocket watch, I realized that she’d probably had a lot to do with the design of the ring. It was awfully tasteful, all things said, but as I reached for it, Celestia stayed my hand and put it on my left index finger. I forgot that Princes of Equestria don’t get terribly visible signs of power in this country since Celestia’s a fucking sexist, but I dealt with it and allowed myself to be lead out of the room and onto a balcony so I could give my address to the plebeians. Celestia and Twilight took my right vanguard with Cadance and Luna on the left, so when I came straight up the middle and looked over the balcony at the crowd below, they were looking at five of the most powerful beings on the fucking planet.

I cleared my throat and felt Celestia cast a spell so my voice would be amplified. Wanting to get this over with, I started by saying, “Good afternoon, citizens of Equestria. First things first, when I came to Equestria, I had no idea what to make of this country, of its people. I knew that I was different from the beginning, and not just in appearance, but in spirit. Through my time in Equestria, I’ve learned that being different isn’t a bad thing, and I’ve come to accept Equestria as my home for now and forever. I would give my life for this country, and on multiple occasions, it has nearly come to that, but now, I am grateful for every step I take on this land. I’d like to thank all of you, every Pony, for helping to make this nation the shining beacon that it is. Thank you for making me feel welcome in a world that is not my own.”

There were cheers when I finished, but I held up a hand after a moment for silence and when the crowd calmed down, I continued. “I apologize for stopping a bit early, but I’ve heard that some ‘stallions’ have the same problem, so I’ll make this part short, sweet, and straight from the heart. I would like to thank Princess Celestia and Princess Luna for running this country on a day-to-day basis while also becoming my friends.” I looked at each of them in turn. “Their support has been invaluable from the beginning. I would also like to thank Princess Mi Amore Cadenza for not having me arrested for being a smartass when we first met.” I gave her a grin and she rolled her eyes, smiling. “And last but not least, I would like to thank Twilight Sparkle, my best friend and fiance, for staying by my side and staying true to me even when I practically disappeared for two years. There are more people I’d like to thank, but I think I’ll do it face to face, yeah?”

There were quite a few hoops and hollers through some of my speech, especially when I swore or cracked that joke about premature ejaculation. All in all, I think my speech went over pretty well and when Twilight hit me, I figured that I did pretty well on the joke aspect. Once I got through hugging the princesses and Shining snubbed me, I went around and hugged the girls and my family. I came back to Shining and asked to have a word with him, and when he just glared at me, Cadance answered for him and teleported us off to a random room. Shining tried to teleport out, but I just followed him by Shadow Diving, though I nearly ate a punch when I tapped him on the shoulder. We’d come back to Cadance’s side and the punch he’d thrown at me was noticed by all in attendance, so he was pretty much just painting himself as a prick at this point. Celestia put herself between us and asked what the problem was and I told her that I’d just been trying to talk to the guy, so she passed Shining a withering glare and asked if I’d shown any aggression toward him. He answered truthfully and said that I hadn't, so Celestia promised to mediate for us after we were done celebrating my princehood.

Our group and a fucktonne of nobles all went to the large Dining Hall that Celestia and Luna used for large gatherings and we had some meager meals that were probably expensive as fuck. The breadsticks were good and I got to sit next to Twilight, so that was nice. The six members of royalty all headed up the table and our closest friends and family joined us near the head, but while I was eating, I noticed that Night Light and Twilight Velvet were looking at me in turn. Velvet seemed a little unsure, but Night Light…

The first two weeks in Canterlot were going to suck.

I put that behind me and focused on enjoying my meal, but when you know for a fact that someone has it out for you and that they’ll have a chance to exact their plots, it’s hard to relax. Twilight noticed my discontent and held my hand under the table, though that did mean I was eating with my non dominant hand. Still, it helped distract me from my misery and it kept me grounded, though once or twice while I was trying to get back to ground-level, things started floating and I had to knock it off.

During lunch, I took the time to examine my ring and saw that it had the Cutie Mark of every Princess on it with Celestia and Luna’s on either side with Twilight and Cadance’s on the top and bottom around the stone. I looked at the stone itself and saw that my Seal was etched into the inside of the stone, and when I tried to pour some magic into it, the stone started to fill with smoke and turn from a mild green to a darker shade. When I drew with my finger, the lines were a bit less distinct than they were with the Warbling Blade, but still, I was pretty sure that it was a catalyst all the same. That being said, I really didn’t want to wear a ring if it wasn’t the one that showed I was married to Twilight, but since she had helped design it, I didn’t have all that many qualms about it.

Once lunch was over, my Ponyville people and the nobles fucked off so the Royalty could go to the meeting room that Celestia had dubbed the last time we’d gotten more than three of the Royal Family together. I don’t think Shining or Twilight had been there yet, so when we all had a seat, we got things started around the table. The ladies and Shining all had wine of varying types while I just had some bourbon. I like bourbon, but I’m not an alcoholic, okay? I would know if I started falling into old habits again, so fuck you for thinking less of me. If you weren’t, then please continue, but if you’re not someone I gave express permission to read this, I hope someone kills you slowly and painfully. Shit, I might kill you myself. Actually, if you’ve made it this far, I must be dead, so you should be in the clear, but if I’m not, then I’m still going to fucking kill you. Fuck you.

That aside, Celestia started off the conversation by saying, “Maximus, do I really need to tell you that swearing in an official speech is bad?”

I shrugged. “You don’t need to tell me, but I could probably use a reminder every now and again. I’ve been trying to cut back a bit lately, but you know how it goes when you get so used to a certain way of speaking.”

Cadance took over. “I think it shows that Max was just a normal pony, just like anypony else and that he might be vulgar from time to time, but that doesn’t mean normal ponies can’t do great things.”

Luna nodded. “Using the new vernacular was a smart move, even if it wasn’t intended. We already have royalty that rises above the citizens. I think it would be smart to have a pony of the ponies.”

“Except Max isn’t a Pony.” Shining pointed out sharply.

He earned glares for that, but I took up for him. “In Shining Arsehole's defense, he’s not wrong. I’m not a Pony. We’ve been through this already, but I think that having a member of the Royal Family that’s not a Pony might just give us a bit more diversity in the Pony lands. If Ponies see that other races aren’t dangerous-”

“Max, how many times do I have to tell you Ponies aren’t racist?” Twilight sighed.

“I agree with Twilight. Ponies are inherently trusting of others.” Shining said.

Luna and I just gave them a bored look before trading one between ourselves. “You wanna take this one, Lulu?”

“With pleasure. Ponies are racist. There are no doubts about that.” Luna said with finality.

“Princess Luna, not you too!” Twilight cried.

“Yes me too. A thousand years ago, there were far more races in Equestria than there are now.” Luna huffed.

Celestia nodded. “While it’s true that I started phasing out other races in Equestria, I’d like it to be known that I did so to better Equestrian society. Our people are happier for our relative isolation, and we treat our visitors well, so I don’t feel as though it’s an issue. I don’t want diversity in the Pony lands because I believe it will undermine the happiness I built through hundreds of years of work.”

Shining coughed “So why don’t we expand and conquer through kindness? I’m not saying we go and start laying down laws, but if we can start talking to world leaders about making their people nicer-”

“Mate, have you met Chrysalis or Elfriede?” I asked.

He glared at me. “You know for a fact I’ve met one of them.”

“Yeah, no shit. I’m saying both of them are fucking sadists. Elfriede is the only one we would ever have a hope of convincing, but even then, by having her preach smiles and sunshine, Gryphonia would fucking revolt against her and that’s a fact. Chrysalis could probably make all of her Changelings play nice, but Chrysalis herself is pretty much a beast on a leash-”

“Then why did you make peace with her!?” Shining yelled suddenly.

“Shining Armour.” Celestia said calmly, leveling a smooth glare at him.

When he sat back in his seat, I said, “I suggested we make peace with her because shapeshifters are better allies than enemies. I fucking hate that cunt myself, but she’s valuable when it comes to things like espionage, and I’m looking forward to seeing how well I can put her minions to use.” I paused. “If I’m given the chance, that is.”

Celestia tilted her head at me. “It sounds like you want to be a spymaster of sorts.”

I tilted my hand from side to side. “In a sense. When it comes to collecting info and using it to my advantage, I’ve been doing it for the better part of a decade and a good deal of my life. Being a spymaster would allow me to utilize a skill I already have, but mostly I want to train Changelings into perfect spies, though I’m sure Chrysalis already has a few.”

Twilight seemed a bit squeamish. “Max, that sounds really foreboding.”

I gave her a half smile, but Luna spoke before I could. “It’s a thought process such as Max’s that we need. His mind is well suited to the less pleasant sides of ruling. He would be well suited to working with you, and together, you could lighten each other’s loads.”

Twilight shook her head. “I-I don’t want to rule like that…”

Cadance sighed. “It’s inevitable, Twily.”

Shining stared at her. “What.”

Cadance gave him a sad look. “Shining Armour, I knew you wouldn’t like it, but-”

“Cadance, you can’t be serious!” He exclaimed.

She looked at the table and I spoke up. “Shining, it’s not her fault.”

He bore his teeth at me. “I should’ve known you would put her up to something so underhanded! I never did trust you-”

“Shining Armour, that is quite enough.” Luna growled.

“I don’t think it is! This- This- Monster-”

Celestia slammed a hand on the table, startling Cadance, Shining and Twilight. “Shining Armour, I advised Cadance to take spies under her wing. I personally handpicked your Operatives. Who are you really calling a monster? Myself or Maximus, because it sounds like you’re calling me a monster.”

Shining bitched up and shut up, so Twilight took over softly. “You said Operatives, not spies.”

Luna huffed. “They differ. Spies only gather information while Operatives actually get things done. That’s why Maximus was made into an Operative: more people can be spies than Operatives.”

“Oh…”

Celestia sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You will have spies and Operatives whether you like it or not. That goes for both of you, Twilight, Shining. It’s better that you accept it than try to fight it because there isn’t a government on the face of Equus that safely functions without them.”

“Cadance… Why didn’t you tell me?” Shining asked quietly.

Cadance took a deep breath. “I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t be okay with it. You’re a stallion who’s always been a rule-follower and straight laced, which is a part of the reason I fell in love with you in the first place. It’s… I didn’t want to hide it from you, but how could I not? There are things we need spies and Operatives for, and I know you’re aware of the reasons why-”

“But I’m not, Cadance! Why can’t we just do things by the book?” He spread his hands and looked at her sadly.

“Because doing things by the book isn’t always the best way to get things done.” Cadance replied. “Do you remember when that Gryphon noble started raising a fuss about letting trains pass through to the Crystal Empire?”

“Of course I do! Supplies were delayed for weeks!”

Cadance gave him a sad look. “You know how he’s suddenly not a problem anymore?”

Shining blinked a few times. “H-He’s not dead, is he?”

“No! No he’s not!” Cadance said, recoiling. “We… I had an Operative follow him for a couple week until we gathered enough information to bury him under his own misdeeds. I blackmailed him so we wouldn’t have any of our people starve.”

Shining slumped in his seat. “...We could’ve-”

“We tried everything.”

Celestia sighed. “And that’s just one example of the uses of shady tactics. We are rulers, and that means that we do dark things from time to time. Max has shown that he can do dark things, but he still has morals that make him worthy of leading. It’s why I made him a noble in the first place.”

“That and the fact that we already kept him alive a few times. It would be in our best interest to follow up on our investment.” Luna said glibly.

“Gee, thanks Lulu. I’m feeling the love from here.” I snorted.

“You’re welcome. Now, moving on to more pressing matters. After your training in the Canterlot Barracks and training in the ways of Princehood with Celestia, you will be mine.” Luna gave me a toothy grin that scared me a bit.

Shining snapped out of his reverie to ask a question. “Wait, why is Max training in the Canterlot Barracks?”

“I need to get in shape.” I said simply. “If my techniques weren’t as ingrained into my body as they are, you would’ve won our fight hands down because of your physicality.”

He cocked his head at me. “That can’t be it.”

Twilight nodded. “That’s right. Something’s not adding up here.”

Celestia sighed. “There are secrets that we cannot share, not because we are unwilling to tell them to you, but because there is magic on your minds that will not allow us to get anywhere with the conversation. You will forget within moments of hearing our words.”

“...That’s a little far fetched, Celestia.” Twilight said after moment.

I copied Celestia’s sigh. “Remember how we were arguing earlier and you just spaced out and forgot what we were talking about?”

Twilight blushed. “I apologized for that!”

“Remember how I said it wasn’t even your fault.” I added blandly.

“...Are you really saying that somepony cast a spell on me that nopony here can lift?” Twilight asked, staggered.

“On yourself and Shining Armour.” Celestia amended.

“Why us specifically?” Shining asked.

“We don’t know why the spell is on you, but we do know why it’s on Twilight. It’s a part of a sick game that we must play our parts in. Another reason why Max has become a prince.” Luna said.

“Gosh…” Twilight said softly. “There’s even more on your plate than I thought, isn’t there?”

I got up and gave her a quick kiss. “It’ll be okay, cherry. That’s why I need to share the Everfree news anyway.”

“News of the Everfree? What about that wretched forest?” Cadance asked.

“I was talking to Noir and Pinkie Pie about my True Magic-” I started.

Everyone except Twilight groaned. “You all just don’t know Pinkie like I know Pinkie, okay?”

Celestia rubbed her temples. “No Max, it’s just that thinking of that Pink Menace makes my head hurt.”

Twilight seemed personally offended as I dragged my chair over to her. I noticed that chairs shifted around the table so everyone was paired up. Guess who was next to whom. “But Celestia, I thought you liked Pinkie?”

“I do Twilight, I really do, but that girl gives me nightmares with the amount of knowledge she has sometimes. Things from the future and the past that no Pony should know of.” Celestia rubbed her face.

Twilight was stunned. “Wait, so Max was right!? Pinkie really is a secret genius!?”

Celestia’s head whipped up and she looked around the room. “Twilight Sparkle, never mention the fact that you know to Pinkie. I beg of you.”

“Uh... Okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I don’t doubt that she already knows that you know now, but it’s really for the best of all of us if you don’t say anything. I like Pinkie, but she scares me.”

Twilight nodded slowly and Cadance spoke. “So what about your True Magic?”

“Pinkie and Noir think I need to go borderline insane to grasp it fully since that’s how I learned how to use pretty much all of my other powers. It’s solid reasoning if you let me explain it.” No one spoke, so I carried on. “Alright, so everyone should know at this point that magic doesn’t exist in my world, at least, to my knowledge. Our weather works by itself, the world turns on its own, there are no spirits in the forests, we don’t have talking animals, and no one can fly or use magic. People are stronger than others because they’re born that way or because they work at it-”

“Maximus, we understand that Earth and Equus are different. What is your point?” Luna asked somewhat tersely.

“I was getting to that. The point is that the laws of what’s possible are different from Earth to Equus. Things I think are straight up impossible are proven to be possible on a daily basis. Things like teleporting and making fire from thin air just don’t happen on Earth without there being a scientific reason for it-”

“Max, magic and science go hand in hand.” Twilight interrupted.

I rolled my eyes. “My point is that they don't on Earth. Those are my facts of life. Things you think are possible are different from the things I think are possible, but when I lose my grasp on reality, I start understanding bits and pieces of Equus’ laws. It takes time for me to get to that point and it takes certain stimulus. I used to be able to do it in my mindscape, but that’s just not going to work for my True Magic, so I need to go back to the place where I started losing my grip on what’s possible in the first place. Namely, the Old Castle.”

Celestia looked at me like I was fucking insane already. “Max, I’m sorry to say this, but are honestly telling us that you intend on going into the Everfree for who knows how long again? I’m sure we could find another way for you to learn how to use your True Magic if we just pooled our insight and tried to think of something.”

“I tried for a week straight with no rest and no breaks, Celestia. Nothing in the Everfree is going to bother me, and even if it does, I can either soothe it or straight up kill it. I know what I can or can’t eat, and I know I won’t be bothered, which will drive me insane. I wouldn’t suggest that I do this if I wasn’t confident that it was the only way. Plus, the thing that sent me back to Earth and gave me my True Magic in the first place kinda told me that I’m on the right track.”

“...You mean the All-Powerful being that sent you away for two years said you were doing something right? Maximus, do you realize how stupid it sounds to trust that thing?”

“I’m well aware, but if you recall, me being gone for so long was a punishment for avoiding my fate in the first place. God hasn’t steered me wrong and has done a lot more helping than hurting, Celestia.” I pointed out. “God’s the reason I’m on Equus in the first place.”

She shook her head and her hands went back to her temples, so Luna took over. “It sounds reasonable enough to me, as much as I don’t like agreeing with the Pink Menace. However, I think I may drive you to the brink sooner than you might think.”

Twilight choked. “Luna, please don’t abuse my fiance. It would mean a lot to me.”

She shrugged. “Find another request. Maximus will be broken and reshaped when I am finished with him.”

“Oh dear Celestia.” Twilight murmured.

I wrapped an arm around her, earning me a black look from Shining. “Cherry, except for you, my life kinda sucks and it’s gonna keep on suckin’. Hell, you suck too, but I like the way-” Twilight walloped my chest, making me lose my breath.

“You can stop right there.” She said, blushing.

Cadance coughed. “So why don’t we take a vote? We have a month before Max can even go to the Everfree, so we’ll take a vote now and we’ll take a vote then. All in favor of Max going into the Everfree?”

Luna and Shining raised their hands, but I asked, “Does it count if I think I have to go but don’t really want to go?” Cadance nodded, so I raised my hand.

“Alright. All opposed?” She, Celestia, and Twilight raised their hands.

“So we are at an impasse.” Luna said calmly. “Shining Armour, why do you think Max should go into the Everfree?”

Shining gathered his thoughts. “If what he says is correct, then he doesn’t have much of a choice, though I’d like to know why he thinks he has to do it as soon as possible.” That and you want me gone, you spiteful fuck.

I nodded. “Fair enough. We need me to get my True Magic so we have a defense against the guy who cast the spell on you and Twilight. Celestia and Luna aren’t powerful enough to take him by themselves, Cadance’s magic wouldn’t have an effect on him, Twilight’s out of the running, and without my True Magic, nothing I have could do anything against him. He’s actually beaten me multiple times and wiped my memory.”

“...That’s terrifying.” Shining said softly.

“Now you see why we need me at top form. If we can get our shit together, then the coast will be looking a lot less shittiful.” I pinched my nose to ward off the headache that was building.

“So what do we do in the meantime?” Shining asked. “It sounds like this guy can do whatever he wants, so why isn’t he doing it?”

“He is and we need to stop him before he feels like getting serious.” Celestia said gravely.

Twilight grabbed my hand and I held it firmly. There was a long silence around the table until Twilight spoke up. “So our hopes are basically all on Max’s shoulders, aren’t they?”

There were a few murmurs of affirmation and she sighed before looking at me. “...It’s not that everypony thinks you’re the best one for the job, it’s that you’re the only one.”

I gave her a sad smile. “I didn’t want to worry you.”

She laid her head on my shoulder and I laid my cheek on her head. I noticed the Shining and Cadance were doing something similar and that Celestia and Luna were totally imagining us all fucking in one delicious, possibly incestuous orgy like the sick, kinky sluts they are. I decided that I’d had enough of all this moping around, so I started in with a new topic.

“So speaking of things, where can Twilight and I have our wedding?” I asked no one in particular.

Cadance perked up. “You’re welcome to have it in the Crystal Empire, if you want.”

Celestia cracked a smile, knowing exactly what I was doing. “I would like to argue that Canterlot would be a better choice. We’ve already held one Royal Wedding: why not another?”

Luna groaned. “Nooo, make Cadance do the preparations this time!”

“What are you talking about? Cadance is going to make me set up the security and all that stuff all over again!” Shining complained.

Cadance whacked Shining’s chest. “I would not! It sounds like you don’t want to host your own sister’s wedding!”

“The last three have been absolute nightmares!” He protested.

“How do you think it’s been in Canterlot?” Luna argued. “We’ve hosted five since yours in some of the smaller venues and they were simply awful to organize!”

“They were not! You just don’t like weddings because you’d rather be punching our subjects and whipping them into soldiers than actually planning them!” Celestia said haughtily.

“Sister, I assure you that your words are one hundred percent true.” Luna huffed.

Cadance chuckled. “Since Luna’s so opposed to the idea, does that mean we can have it?”

Celestia sent a mock glare her way. “Not a chance! Twilight was my student after all.”

“And she’s my sister-in-law!” Cadance said firmly.

“She’s my fiance and I’m fucking lucky because of it.” I grinned.

Twilight blushed and patted my arm. “Flattery isn’t going to make up for the fact that you yelled at me earlier.”

“Would a favour do the trick?” I asked cheekily.

She hit me and Shining gagged. “Can you not talk about doing illicit things with my sister in front of me!?”

“I could talk about doing illicit things with you, big boy.” I winked at him. “I think three quarters of the ‘mares’ in this room would be fine with watching.”

Shining lit up bright red, but before he could sputter out a response, Cadance said, “I’d be fine with sharing you with Max for a night as long as I got to watch.”

Celestia nodded her agreement and Luna said, “I’ll admit that I’ve been curious about how Maximus’ rod would fit into that tight little ass of yours.”

“LALALA NOT LISTENING” Twilight said loudly, covering her ears and blushing furiously

Those of us who weren’t Shining and Twilight laughed our arses off while the brother-sister combo tried to stop being beet red. After that, we were forbidden from making anymore jokes about me fucking Shining unless I was planning on following through. My fiance objected to that heavily and said that if I wasn’t going to have sex with her as a man, then I wasn’t allowed to have sex with her brother. I offered to change into a female and dominate Shining with Cadance one day. That got me hit, but it was worth it.

Things of a sexual nature aside, Cadance and Shining teamed up to teleport home once we were done with the big part of our conversation, and once they left, Twilight and I were allowed to leave as well. She refused to teleport me since I’d been mean, so I asked Celestia to do it and she did since she still didn’t know that I could Shadow Dive. Once I found that Twilight was in my house waiting for me, I grabbed my pipe, my journal, and some pajamas before we headed over to her house. It was a pleasant walk, though I had to apologize for practically threatening to fuck her brother before she would actually say anything to me.

Once we got home, I started writing in my journal since I hadn't done it the day before and Twilight said that she was going to start one of her own, so I put a Seal with ‘Those Allowed’ magicked into it on her book and we started writing together. Twilight said she was going to start her book from the moment I disappeared and would let me try and read it when she was done. Her penmanship still needs work, but at least it’s fucking legible now.

We wrote for a good while and Twilight said that pens from my world were ‘The bee’s knees’, so I called her old as fuck and had a giggle about that. We took breaks from writing to touch each other from time to time or just so I could hold her for a little bit. A lot had been dropped on Twilight’s mind today and I couldn’t blame her for seeking some comfort in my arms and I was happy to give it to her since holding her gave me some as well. Honestly? Today rather sucked, but I still got to hold Twilight and tell her I love her, so I can’t say it was a terrible or particularly awful one, though it only now strikes me that I didn't have a chance to talk to Shining.

As I’m writing this, I can’t help but glance at my ring from time to time. I feel like it does something other than act as a catalyst, but I just don’t know what that is. Maybe it helps me look like a real noble or something? The rock in it sure as Hell looks like something a noble would present proudly. Either way, I don’t want it. I don’t want to wear it and I don’t want to feel it, but it’s fucking there to stay, no matter what I want…

Fucking Christ, I don’t want to be a Prince.

Author's Notes:

Another Chapter, another fucking fuckery dickton of words. I like writing words.

So Max finally got his Princehood and he's probably the least happy about it. In fairness, it's because life is going to get suck quick. Real suck, real quick.

I need to stop using so many fucking italics. They're a pain in the ass when there are multiple in a paragraph. I'm not going to, but still.

As Always, Stay Cool, Kids.