Author's Notes:

Things happened. Max is a slut. Life moves on.

This chapter should have gone up a day earlier, but editing was interrupted multiple times, so it's going up now.

As Always, Stay Cool, Kids.

The best part of waking up is being able to have a maid go get you and your woman a cup of coffee. Granted, that only happened in Canterlot Castle, and it probably only happened because Celestia has orders for her staff to chill the fuck out around me. Seriously, up until I saved Cadance, the people around the Castle really wanted nothing to do with me and practically avoided me whenever I saw them. Luna’s people were a lot nicer, but I was pretty sure that it was because night owls and the like are generally more relaxed than the those who wake with the Sun. They also knew how to make better coffee, but at least I had a cuppa somethin’.

Twilight and I drank our coffee on the balcony of our room, taking in the sweet spring air in Canterlot and generally just enjoying the day. Rainbow stopped by to tell us that she was going to go see if she could catch the Wonderbolts while they were doing an early practice, so I told her not to be fucking creepy about it. Twilight was about to hit me, but she gave it a second thought and later told me that Rainbow’s fanaticism was kinda creepy. I didn’t have anything to say to that so I shut my mouth and finished up with my coffee.

We joined Celestia and Luna for breakfast with the rest of the girls, Shining, and Cadance. Surprisingly, Cadance’s appetite rivalled mine and as we politely cleared the table, though we tried to talk around the insane amount of casual consumption we were doing. Twilight chided me for trying to inhale every grilled sweet potato available, but I argued that if no one else liked them, that I would happily dispose of them. Cadance tried one and found them to her liking, so we annihilated the tubers together. Celestia told her student to stop badgering me about my appetite, stating that I was most likely in the midst of another growth spurt or something. I checked myself out when she said that and grinned at what I saw. It’s not like I was particularly narcissistic about my body as a male, but I knew that I didn’t look half bad with my gains giving me a little extra to throw around.

Twilight caught me looking at myself, but I didn’t think she was aware of the hand she put on my tricep. At least, that’s what I thought until she squeezed my arm and gave me a little smile. After that, we played footsie under the table until Shining shot me a look when Twilight started giggling for no real reason. Cadance made him keep his complaints to himself with a kiss on the cheek and the two main princesses traded a look before I started feeling something I recognized as magic har start searching my body. I whispered to Twilight that I needed and adult and she stuck her tongue out at Celestia, though she didn’t dare do it to Luna.

After breakfast, Applejack and Pinkie were ready to get back home to Ponyville, but I asked Twilight if she remembered that we were supposed to go visit Fleur and Fancy while we were here. She agreed, though she only did so as long as we didn’t make a day out of it. I had no problem with that since I just wanted to grab lunch with them or something, so to fill the time while our friends were heading back home, we hung out with Cadance. Once I got them started on some of the things Cadance had done while she and Twilight weren’t in contact, the day started passing by awfully quickly. The candy colored princess had been visiting various places to see where she could settle her own little monarchy and trained to become a capable ruler while she did so. Twilight inquired as to where she was planning on settling down, but Cadance just offered her a smile and told her that she’d have to visit when she got things ready. I already knew, so I was wondering why Cadance was being so secretive, but it really wasn’t my problem.

Cadance bid us a fond farewell, but instead of the hug I’d been expecting her to give Twilight, she gave her quite the kiss. I watched because of anatomy and intrigue, and when Cadance let Twilight go they were both smiling goofily. I wondered if that meant they were a little more than just friends and smiled when I thought about Twilight joining me in my escapades to nail every member of royalty that we came across. I chuckled about what would happen if she and Elfriede got it on, but I wondered how being a Gryphon lesbian would even work without the advent of toys. It wasn’t something I should have been that concerned about, but I still shared my thoughts with Twilight and she blushed up a storm, although she still conceded to my point and said that it would be very hard with a beak.

We walked around Canterlot for a little bit and ended up back in the arts-and-craftsy section where Twilight had me wait outside of a jewelers place for a little bit. I thought I knew exactly what she was doing, but imagine my surprise when she didn’t come out with a ring. My lover held two little cases in her hands when she came out and a brilliant smile on her face.

“Max~.” She cooed. “My dearest amour~.”

I chuckled to myself. “Yes cherry?”

Twilight levitated the cases and kissed me, cupping my face in her hands. “If I told you that I got us matching necklaces, how would you feel?”

“I would feel like you just gave me another kiss. That is to say, pretty happy.” I smiled.

She opened the cases and put one of the necklaces in my hand, so I gave it a look. It was half of a book, engraved with the branches of a tree in a pattern that reminded me of Celtic stylings and had ‘Cherry’ chiseled in a little deeper than the rest. I couldn’t stop smiling at Twilight and I was sure that she felt the same way. Twilight reached up to clasp the necklace she was holding around my neck, but after a minute of trying, I turned it around so that the clasp was in front so that she could fasten it. She had a rosy tint to her cheeks and I could feel a bit of the same on my own when I walked around behind her so that I could do the same. I inspected my own necklace once it was on and saw that it said ‘Amour’.

I gave Twilight another kiss, but for some reason, her lips seemed even sweeter than they had before. I knew that the matching jewelry was a little too childish for people as mature as Twilight and I tended to be, but nothing could dissuade me from being fucking elated. Instead of standing in the middle of the street, snogging like we were in puppy love or something, I told Twilight that I was touched by her thoughtfulness. She protested, telling me that a little silver was nothing compared to what I’d given her, but I maintained that it was my new favorite thing.

We may have done some more snogging.

We alighted to Fancy and Fleur’s once we were done with our public display of affection and one of their part time maids answered the door. I was wearing my casual clothes and Twilight was wearing one of my favorite outfits of hers, so we didn’t exactly look like we belonged in this part of town. I understood why the maid was so reluctant to speak to us, but when I mentioned that I was Maximus, Baron and Royal Operative, she let us in. After I showed her my seals. Fleur was reading quietly in the parlour and Fancy was upstairs in his study, doing whatever it was that he did, so Twilight and I talked to Fleur first. When the maid announced our presence without mentioning our names, she rolled her eyes and kept reading her book. I recognized it as A Thousand Moments and grinned to myself.

“You know, Dusk Shine’s dick is around the size of mine.” I said flippantly, walking in the room with Twilight joining me.

Fleur glanced up at me with a scowl before doing a double take. “Max? Twilight?”

“The two and only.” I grinned.

She saved her spot in her book and rushed to give us each a hug. “I’m so glad to see you two! I saw you at the wedding, but I just couldn’t bring myself to interrupt!”

“Well thank you, but Max saw you when we came into town and wanted to say hello then and there. I’m sorry I made him wait, but we had to get to the Castle.” Twilight finished with a wistful smile.

I scoffed. “Cherry, do you know how much time we blew doing Rarity’s little nonsense?”

Twilight lived up to her pet name. “That’s why we had to hurry!”

Fleur gave her a look. “I would have understood. Really sweetie, not every visit has to be for hours. It’s just that good company seeks good company.”

I pulled Twilight a little closer and put my hand on her hip. “That’s what I was trying to say, but some people just don’t like to listen. Twilight would rather hit me than,” She pinched me, “listen sometimes.”

“Why do I always feel like you’re picking on me?” Twilight said irritably.

“If it makes you feel any better, I seek your company because you’re pretty great.” I said, switching topics.

Twilight tried to stay mad. “Hush! I know what you’re doing!”

Fleur smiled deviously. “Come now, Twilight. Take the stallion’s compliment.” Yes, join the Dark Side of the Force.

“I know what you’re doing too! We’ve spent too much time together for me to not know that you’re just distracting me.” Twilight huffed.

Fleur blinked. “It used to work before.”

I raised a hand. “It’s my fault. Twilight started getting more astute when I came into her life. It really doesn't help when half of the things I say can be taken the wrong way. Not that I mean them to be offensive, it’s just that Twilight doesn’t like to let things go.”

Twilight pinched me again. “You and your double entendres.”

“I’ll admit, I’ve had to have you explain a thing or two.” Fleur admitted. “Sometimes it feels like you’re purposefully being a mule, but other times, you’re the sweetest thing on two hooves.”

“That’s pretty incredible considering I don’t have hooves.” I said drily.

Fleur and Twilight rolled their eyes. “You know what she meant.” Twilight chastised.

“If you let me eat your arse, I’ll be nicer.” I bargained.

Twilight paled. “Y-You said you weren’t going to eat a Pony!”

Fleur’s face contorted, trying to keep her laughter in, so I said, “What do I call it when I do that thing with my tongue that you like?”

Twilight blinked at me. “‘French’ kissing?”

“Not on those lips.” I explained.

Fleur covered her mouth and Twilight finally understood what I meant, her face coloring. “Maximus, you do not talk about that in polite company!”

I raised a brow. “I’ve slept with everyone in this room, including myself. I don’t think normal boundaries really apply here.”

Fleur tilted her head. “How do you sleep with yourself? Besides taking pictures of yourself in your female form to use at a later date.”

“That’s what I meant. I mean, if I could I would, if nothing else other than to give it a shot.” I commented.

“It wouldn’t surprise me to find that he had a scrapbook of his own smut.” Twilight said flatly. Don’t ruin the surprise, dammit!

“I believe he would rather keep a book of all the photos he’s received. In fact, I’d love to see it if it exists.” Fleur smiled with plenty of implications.

Twilight looked between the two of us, seeming a bit hurt. That confused me, so I decided that it was time to wrap things up. “If I ever put one together, we’ll have to sit down and look through it some time. Speaking of looking through things, is Fancy terribly busy, or is he just being antisocial?”

Fleur lifted her brows and pursed her lips. “I believe Fancy is entertaining a ‘friend’ at the moment. They won’t be through with their visit for a few more hours, if Fancy has anything to say about it.”

Twilight stayed silent, taking my hand off of her hip. “That’s a shame. I really wish we could’ve seen him before going, but we didn’t have much time in the first place. It’s been a pleasure seeing you again, love.”

Fleur smiled sadly, her eyes flickering to Twilight. “We’ll have to invite you to the next party we hold. Rarity has already expressed some interest, but I really do hope that Twilight and yourself decide to show your faces.”

“We’ll be heading to Bridleland here shortly, but if you’re party isn’t until after then, we’ll be there.” I gave her a smile and tried to take Twilight’s hand, but she shied away.

Fleur noticed. “...I would hate to keep you any longer than necessary. Do take care, you two. I’ll be sure to keep in touch.”

She gave Twilight a quick hug that she half-heartedly returned and gave me another before my lover lead the way out. I stayed by her side until we were about halfway down the street until I stopped her.

“Twilight, what’s wrong?” I asked kindly.

She avoided my eyes. “Why did you really want to see Fleur and Fancy?”

“Fancy’s like an older brother to me and Fleur’s a good friend. Are you worried about the relationship I have with Fleur?” I surmised.

Twilight held her hands behind her back, but didn’t say anything. I’d thought as much. “Cherry, Fleur will never replace you in my heart or my mind. I consider her a valuable friend, and that’s pretty much the extent of it.”

She sighed. “I know, but I can’t help but feel a little jealous. You told me that Fleur was one of the best mares you’ve ever had and I just don’t know if I can live up to the standard she set.”

“First of all, you already blew clear past it. Second, even if you hadn't, Fleur just can’t live up to the standard you set. Hell, no one can; not even Celestia.” I assured.

“...Thank you, but that’s not all that was bothering me.” Twilight murmured.

“Then let’s talk about it.” I said, concerned.

Twilight pursed her lips to the side. “...I thought that you might have wanted to see Fleur just so you could have a chance to sleep with her.”

“I know you can’t control your thoughts, but that’s insulting to both of us, cherry. Fleur is good company even without sex, and I would ask before just leading you over there. It really was just a social visit.”

Twilight colored, her hand going to her necklace. “That’s what I was hoping, but sometimes you just seem so secretive. You never even told me that you met Cadance.”

“I thought you would learn on your own, and when I realized that you didn’t know her by her full name, I thought you’d be absolutely thrilled with the surprise. It was hard to keep quiet when I saw you upset about not knowing who Shining was marrying, but I thought the surprise would be worth it.”

She sighed. “...I guess you really were just trying to be thoughtful, even if I would’ve preferred that you tell me.”

I came in for a hug and Twilight returned it. “I’ll keep that in mind if it ever happens again. I love you, Twilight, and there’s nothing I would purposefully do to upset you. Besides some good natured teasing.” I added.

She pushed me back a little and took the charm thing on my necklace in her hand before doing the same with hers. She put the together with a little notch and nub that stood out on the sides of the books and smiled. “I forgot to tell you that they fit together.”

“I get the part that sticks out because-” I thought twice about it. “Never mind. It’s an incredibly sweet gift, Twilight.”

She gave me a little smile. “I know you only keep that one ring, so I wasn’t sure if you’d wear another. I thought a necklace might work better for you.”

I stared at her. “How did you know I had a ring?”

She gave me an odd look. “You let me read your journals. It was mentioned along with something called a billfold, and you said that you thought the collection of papers that were with your journals seemed off. It’s one of the few things you brought with you from your world.”

My heart hammered in my chest. “I didn’t realize I wrote it down.”

Twilight laid a hand on my arm. “Are you okay, amour? You look a little scared.”

I grabbed her and and kissed the dorsal side. “I’m okay, I just… I didn’t really want anyone knowing about my dad’s wedding ring. It’s all I have left of him, and if something ever happened to it…”

She gave me a smile that made me want to kiss her again. “I won’t tell a single soul, Pony or otherwise, but I want you to know that I can enchant it for you if you give me some time to learn how to do it. It’s different than the privacy spells I put on your journals, but I can put a locater spell on it.”

“Can we do that when we get home then? Just thinking about it worries me.”

Twilight gave me the kiss I’d wanted. “Of course. We’ll have to pack for our trip soon after, though.”

“Life gets hectic really quickly, doesn’t it?”

“It really does. Do you want to take the train home or do you want to teleport?”

“Magic is bullshit but convenient. Let’s go.”

Twilight closed her eyes and her horn lit up for a brief moment before we appeared in my house. I took her to my room, did a thing that I’m not recording, and I opened my safe for her. Inside were my scrapbooks of my own nudes and pictures I’d taken with friends along with my ring and billfold. The old copies of my journals were in there too in their undoctored state, but all we needed were the ring and the billfold. Twilight asked me what the latter was made of since it was a material she’d never seen, but I wasn’t about to explain leather to her, no matter what, so I asked her to drop it. She shrugged it off and held my ring in her hands, inspecting it closely before putting it back where it belonged. She said that she wasn’t terribly familiar with how white gold would affect enchantments, but since it was a simple band with a tiny diamond, it would probably do just fine.

I let Twilight pick out quite a few of my outfits since she knew what I lied and what I would put up with, so she only packed three of the small shirts she had picked out for me and let the rest be various different pieces of clothing Rarity had made. Everything worked with the denim trousers I put in my luggage, so I was off to a good start. After we got my stuff settled, we walked to the Treebrary and Twilight started picking out her own attire with some of my help. Five out of the seven outfits she’d chosen could be worn with either knee high socks or stockings of some kind, though she surprised me when she pulled out a proper garterbelt. I’d never been particularly turned on by them, but they were a necessity for some stockings, so I liked them well enough.

We left Spike to his own devices since he was a largely autonomous kid, though I was pretty sure he was wanking off in his room before we set a foot/hoof out of the door. I’d only ever caught him in the act once, though I’d never actually seen him doing it. The bright blush on his face and his hunched over posture had told me all I needed to know, but it’s not like I gave him any trouble over it. I did, however, tell him to keep his hands to himself for a few more years until he could do things properly. It confused the Hell out of the poor kid until I explained that I was talking about his little girlfriends.

Twilight had some business to take care of with Mary considering my absence from the town, and apparently it was supposed to take a couple of hours. I walked Twilight over there and wondered what I should do up until I realized that I had a few things to take care of. I needed to go send Blue a letter telling her I would be gone and that I’d missed her while at the wedding, and I should probably talk to Spike about what to do if he was approached by Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, or Scootaloo in any way other than in friendship. I headed back to the Treebrary, wrote out a note, and looked around for him. He was in his room, as it turns out. I knocked on his door and waited for a few moments for him to get his trousers back on before he answered the door in the same way he had before.

“S-Sorry, Max. I was just, uh, changing clothes?” He offered meekly.

“Right. I actually need you to send this off to a woman named Blueberry Tart and I want talk to you about the CMC’s if you please.”

He gave me a funny look and took my note, sending it off. “Did you say that just so you could rhyme?”

I raised a brow. “Were you really changing clothes?”

“... So what about them?”

“I realize you guys are coming to a certain age, and as such, you might be approached by them to do things I’ve warned you against. I have faith in your common sense, but I just wanted to let you know that doing much more than the occasional kiss might get you hurt.”

Spike’s hand went to his cheek. “By whom?”

“Most likely Big Mac or Applejack, but I wouldn’t rule out Rainbow.” I explained.

He nodded. “Right. I kinda figured. Would you tell on them if I told you something?”

“Depends on whether or not you ask me to keep it a secret.” And how many times it’s happened.

He nodded again and stood up straight. We went downstairs for a moment and he had me check the house for any potential eavesdroppers and I found Pinkie in a potted plant, so I told her to go home and to quit being creepy as shit. She bounced away and Spike sat me down in the living room.

“Alright, so Sweetie Belle wants to do more than kiss my cheek.” He said nervously.

“How much more?” I asked.

“...She says she wants to see my thingy.” He said awkwardly.

“How many times has she asked?”

“A lot. I told her that if she didn’t stop, I was going to tell you.”

I cocked my head. “Why me and not Twilight or Rarity?”

Spike shrugged. “I don’t want her in trouble, I just want her to stop.”

“Has she asked since you told her to stop?” I inquired.

Spike sighed. “We wouldn’t be talking about it if she did.”

I ran my hand through my hair. “That’s a tough spot to be in, mate.” And you’ve put me in a tougher one.

He nodded. “Is there anything you can do besides go to Rarity?”

I took a deep breath and started running scenarios. About sixty percent of them ended with Rarity mad at me, thirty with Rarity and Twilight mad at me, five with all of the girls mad me, three with me in jail for something I would never do, and the last two were my only hope of not getting bitched at by anyone other than children.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Look mate, my hands are fucking tied here. If I don’t say something to Rarity and she finds out, then I don’t put it above her to come after me through Twilight. If I handle this the wrong way, a lot of shit comes down on me instead of Sweetie, and I put myself in enough trouble as is. Right now, I can’t even say that I could ignore the problem because if someone finds out that I knew you’ve been having those issues with Sweetie Belle and I knew but didn’t do a damned thing either way, my ass is grass.”

“...I just put you in a tougher spot than I’m in, didn’t I?” Spike asked softly.

“It’s my job as one of your big brothers to take care of you when you’re in a tough spot, Spike, no matter how tough it might be for me. I’m glad you told me, but Sweetie Belle is taking the fall on this.”

He sighed hard. “That’s what I came up with too. I can’t really blame you since you’d get in more trouble than she would, but can you at least try and get Rarity to take it easy on her?”

I nodded. “I planned on it. It’s ultimately up to Marshmallow as to what she plans on doing, but I’ll try and do what I can for her.”

Spike held up a fist and I bumped it. “Thanks, Max. You’re a good big brother, even if you’re not exactly the nicest.”

“I only ever threw that one stone at you, and you were being a prick! That’s for me missing out on years of messing with you as a kid!” I chuckled.

Spike flipped me a gesture he’d seen me use too many times. “I don’t know what this means, but you’re always mad when you do it.”

I flipped it back to him. “Just don’t hold up the middle one and you’ll be good around most Ponies. I’m gonna go have that chat with Rares, if you wanna tag along.”

Spike looked pensive. “I-I’m not too sure about that, Max. If Sweetie Belle sees me there when she gets in trouble, then she’ll know that I told on her!”

I shook my head. “She’ll know either way. At least you’ll be able to explain yourself to her while you’re there.”

“Maaate!” Spike groaned. That actually bothers me less than you saying it normally.

“What did you learn about just getting it over with?”

“To do it sooner rather than later.” He sighed.

“Good man. Come on, we’ve got a walk to make.”

Spike and I made our way across town, but we were stopped by my favorite mint green Unicorn on the way over. Lyra really just wanted to say hello for a moment and catch up since she’d also been at the wedding. She thanked me for freeing her and Bon Bon from Chrysalis’ control, which I thought was rather nice since I didn’t even know that she’d been under any kind of mind control bullshit. She mentioned that some Changelings had snuck into her home and drained some love from her and her lover for months, but that they’d been happy to give it to them. I put two and two together and figured that it was the cause behind their relationship issues, but Lyra told me that they’d been free of their visitors since the wedding was over. That was fucking radical, so I high-fived her and told her that I was happy for them. I couldn’t really care less, but I felt like I was supposed to, so I pretended that I did.

Other than that, we waved to some of the hoi polloi when we were waved at and I nodded to a few of the more solitary ones as they passed by, but other than that, the walk was the same boring one I’d made a thousand times before. We got to Rarity’s shop, though she wasn’t in the lower bit to greet us. I said ‘fuck it’ to being polite since the girls had let themselves into my home multiple times and decided to go upstairs to look for the Marshmallow, but when Spike and I heard the shower running, we decided to get back downstairs before we were labelled as perverts.

We gave her thirty minutes since it’s fucking Rarity and went back upstairs to check. The shower was off, but when I knocked on the bathroom door, Rarity told me that she had five more minutes before she would be out. Thirty more minutes later, Rarity came down stairs and greeted us both with a hug.

“Max. Spike. What brings you over?” She asked with a smile.

“No good news.” I said.

Her face fell. “Lovely. I suppose I should hear it anyways.”

I looked at Spike and he started bumping his index claws together. “Well, you see, the thing is... “

“Yes Spike?” Rarity asked kindly.

He took a deep breath and let it out. “Well, Sweetie Belle’s been asking me to do something I’m really not all that comfortable with. I asked her to stop, but she keeps asking.”

Rarity’s gaze sparked for a moment. “And what, pray tell, has she been asking you to do?”

Spike rubbed his foot on the floor and turned bright red. After a few minutes, it was pretty obvious that he didn’t want to say it in front of a lady as proper as Rarity, so I picked up the slack. “Sweetie Belle’s been inquiring about Spike’s privates. He came to me with the issue because he doesn’t want to get her in trouble, and I came to you to ask that you go easy on her.”

Rarity crossed her arms and levelled a glare at me. “I have quite the hard time believing that my little sister would inquire about something so crude.”

“Rarity, how many people do you know who can lie to me?” I challenged.

She looked a little less sure and her eyes flickered to Spike. “I-”

“On top of that, how could you possibly think that Spike of, all the people you know, would go out of his way to get one of his own friends in trouble?” I interrupted.

“I-In fairness, nopony would do that, but you have to understand, Max! Spike has a history of perversion-”

“Hey! I apologized for that!” Spike objected, looking quite hurt.

Seeing Spike in pain pissed me off. “So what are you gonna do about Rarity? Are you just gonna let your little sister badger Spike about giving her something she got no right to ask for, or are ya going to put a stop to it?”

Rarity lower lip quivered. “ I don’t see why I should. If you can’t be civil, then why should I do anything for you?”

“Because it makes you a shittier person than me at my worst if you don’t.” I said icily.

Rarity turned her nose up at me. “Celestia forbid anypony stoop to your level for once. I believe it’s high time I did some stooping.”

The rest of her body language told me that she was full of shit. Her shoulders were hunched unevenly and she seemed incredibly uncomfortable, like she was lying or trying to make me fall for her bluff. I knew she would talk to Sweetie Belle about what happened, but she was just being difficult at this point.

I gave her a slow clap. “Very mature, Rarity. I’m so proud to call myself your friend.”

If she wasn’t going to before, then she most certainly was going to have that chat now. Rarity sniffed, but I had nothing else to say, so I lead Spike out of her shop and we started on our way back home. After a few minutes of walking, Spike said, “That could have gone better.”

“If she didn’t insult you, things would have played out just fine.” I replied.

“...I know I shouldn’t have listened in on Applejack and Fluttershy, but I thought that was supposed to be over already.”

I rolled my eyes. “Women rarely see things that way. If they wrong you, then you’re supposed to forgive them the second they apologize. If you wrong them, they hold a grudge no matter how many times you apologize. It’s seriously fucked up.”

He shook his head. “Now that you mention it, I kinda see it. Why don’t we just treat them the same way they treat us?”

“I do.” I said casually. “I still hold a grudge against Rainbow for fucking up my first house, and if she ever pisses me off, I’m bringing it up again.”

“Dude, that was months ago. That is so petty.” He said.

“Pettiness is a plague and I caught the bug. Wanna go grab a smoothie?” I asked.

“Sure, I guess.”

And so it was. The smoothies were good.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After a long night of some hot, steamy, sweaty reading with Twilight, we woke up in her house and got the coffee started. Spike had agreed to meet Apple Bloom at the farm to help with some of her chores after doing most of his, but since Twilight doesn’t actually do much more than look after the books in the library part, I made her help me finish up what Spike had left. The guy deserved a break, honestly, and I was happy to give it to him.

During the course of the night, I filled her in on what had happened Rarity and Sweetie Belle and was rewarded through many pecks and smooches that carried over into the morning. We’d done some research on the locater spell while Twilight was taking breaks from giving me kisses, so we took some time to head to my house and put it on my father’s ring. After that, there was nothing we needed to do, so Twilight tried getting me to talk to Rarity. I really wasn’t feeling it, so I suggested that we go hang out with Rainbow and pull some prans or something, but Twilight wasn’t about that life, so we settled down in my house. I suggested that we enjoy a tummy rub and Twilight asked me if I was just trying to get her to do that thing I liked. I was a little offended by that since I’d just wanted an excuse to touch her, so I told her why I wanted to do so. She told me to stroke her mane if I just wanted some personal contact and I agreed happily.

While I was petting Twilight, Rarity came to my house to apologize for being such a twat and told me that she’d grounded Sweetie Belle for making inappropriate advances to Spike. Twilight was happy about that, so I called her out on being sick as fuck and she got flustered, explaining herself in all the wrong ways. Rarity and I had a chuckle about that, but even though we were both laughing, I was the only one who got hit because Ponies are either racist or sexist. Maybe both. Hell, probably both.

Rarity stuck around and asked Twilight if she could have some affection from me, if I were to agree. I had no problem with it and Twilight allowed her to have some of my time, though she still had her voyeur thing going on. She straight up told Rarity that we could do whatever we wanted as long as she was allowed to watch which made both of us happy. Rarity’s exhibitionism matched up with my own pretty well, so imagine our elation when we were told that we’d have a chance to practice something we’d planned on doing some time ago.

Since I’ve detailed sex with Rarity before, I don’t feel that I need to do it again, though we didn’t quite go that far. She really did want some affection, and I was happy to give it to her until she asked me to do a little extra for her. Twilight suggested that Rarity let me rub her tummy, but I told her that it was kind of our thing and that I wasn’t too interested in doing it for someone else. The ladies thought that it was incredibly sweet, but Rarity said that I wasn’t going to touch her stomach anyway, so I settled for nibbling on her ears and playing with her bountiful breasts for a little while. Shit was cash.

Twilight watched on in mild intrigue for a little while, and when Rarity asked me to lead my hands downward, her interest grew and she actually put her book down instead of just glancing at us every once in awhile. I’m sure that she and Rarity made sexy, sexy eye contact a few times, but when I looked at Twilight, her eyes were firmly glued to pretty much anywhere that wasn’t polite to stare at. Rarity didn’t really reciprocate with any of the attention I was giving her, but I was having fun letting my hands wander wherever they pleased. I teased and tortured Rarity until she begged for release, but even then, I waited until I saw Twilight start moving her hands around in her lap to let her have what she so desperately desired.

Rarity left with a wobble in her step and a smile on her face, but as she was leaving, Fluttershy came over requesting the same damned thing. Twilight was thrilled. I was rather indifferent, but a little happier since I knew that Fluttershy would want some dick on top of it. I gave her similar attention until she practically tore my pants off and rode me. Once that happened, Twilight’s hands went down south and and I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to watch more: Twilight getting herself off or Fluttershy’s voluptuous mammaries bouncing around. The three of us couldn’t really keep our eyes in one place for long, so I didn’t feel bad about my indecision.

I gave Fluttershy something that she could enjoy later if she could hold it in, that is, if she was the type to perform the act of honeypotting. I was proven correct when she dipped a finger in to give it a taste, but I was even more turned on when Twilight asked her to do it again and tasted it for herself. Fluttershy and I decided to go another round after that, so I gave her a little extra.

Oddly enough, Applejack came over to say hi for reasons so Fluttershy and I took a quick break until Twilight asked her if she wanted to watch as well. The orange cowgirl was mildly interested, so she pulled up a seat next to Twilight and watched Fluttershy and I go at it for awhile until she herself got hot and bothered. She asked Twilight if she’d like to have some fun for themselves, but Twilight balked hard and said that she was content with watching for the time being.

Applejack asked if she could join us instead (with Twilight’s permission) and we welcomed her into the fray. I had a normal strap-on that she could use, so we ended up double teaming Fluttershy which was rather fun, though Twilight had to get a closer look when Applejack took her position near Fluttershy’s rear. Once we finished with treating the buttery fluttery one like she was a cheap hooker, Applejack carried her home and wished us a good day.

After they left, Twilight and I sat outside because my house smelled like a lot of sex and hormones, but then, Rainbow passed by in the sky and came to say hi. She didn’t want sex, surprisingly, though she did ask if I wanted to play some hoofball with her. I would’ve been down if Twilight felt like it, but at the moment, she wasn’t feeling up for walking and moments before Dash landed, I’d had my face between her legs. Rainbow was disappointed by that, but when she asked if I was up for a round of regular pool, I had no reason to say no, so we did that. She commented on the fact that my house fucking reeked, despite me opening all of the windows in the main area downstairs, but that’s what I get for having sex on the couch.

I took it easy on Rainbow for the first few games of pool, but when Twilight took her turn with Dash, she fucking wrecked face. It was absolutely brutal, but it was also hilarious to see Rainbow gape and gander at Twilight’s mad skill handling a pole and balls. My lover worked the shaft like no other and the technicolor rug muncher couldn’t do a damned thing about it, no matter how many shots Twilight allowed her to have.

Rainbow left with her ego thoroughly dashed, leaving Twilight and I to go back outside and continue doing what we had been. Once I finished her off and cleaned up, she replaced her undergarments and we did some cuddling since I wasn’t really in the mood to get off again. It was a little odd, not wanting to have sexual contact with Twilight, but I just wanted to hold her and snuggle for a bit. She was happy for the time together and we spent a lot of it just fitting our necklaces together because I kept requesting that we do it. That usually started a kiss, and I was pretty sure that it was all I desired at the moment.

Smooching and snuggling aside, I had Twilight do a spell so she could talk to Noir and did some meditating myself so I could join them. Once I arrived, I saw Noir and Twilight sitting on my old couch together and found the picture worthy of taking note. They both patted the spot between them, so I had a seat.

“I’m not in trouble, am I?” I asked.

“We’d be standing and glaring if you were, amour. Noir and I just took a few minutes to talk while you were working your way into your mind.” Twilight explained.

“Indeed. You will find no trouble here unless you make it.” Noir put her hand on my thigh and Twilight di the same.

“...Alright. So are we doing a threesome, or is this just a talk?” I jibed nervously.

“You would ask the only two women that ask you to wait for sex if they want a threesome? Have some sense, Max.” Noir chided.

“Hey, just because you’re in his head doesn’t mean you can get away with chastising him! That’s my job!” Twilight said playfully.

“You’re both fucking good at it.” I muttered.

Twilight’s ear flicked. “What was that, amour? I don’t think we quite heard you.”

“He was complaining about our constant correcting of his nonstop foalishness.” Noir explained. “For the most part, he means little more than an empty complaint since we are often right, but he still feels as though he is justified in some of his actions.”

“Stop reading my mind and telling Twilight about it. Doesn’t that break the doctor-patient confidentiality agreement?” I asked irritably.

They kissed my cheeks simultaneously and Noir said, “It does, but you and Twilight are nearly one and the same. Anything I say to you, I am willing to say in front of her.”

“That’s real nice and all, but can we get to why we’re talking?” I asked. “I know I set this up, but I just wanted to show Twilight some of the marvels from my world.”

“Don’t worry, I just wanted to talk to you about sex. I know I’m ready now, but I still want to wait until we’re married to do the main event. I was just asking Noir if she thought it was a good idea for me to be less possessive of you.” I like how possessive you are though.

“And I was telling Twilight that you enjoy being protected more than you despise being restricted, at least, in her case. I trust your special someone to find the correct balance for yourselves. Speaking of you two, I do enjoy the necklaces. It was not a custom to give such presents in my time, but I do find them to be endearing.”

Twilight blushed. “I just thought it would be cute.”

I kissed her cheek. “And cute it is, cherry. I can’t think of anything else I’d rather have, but I am curious as to how you found something so perfect so fast.”

“Well, while you were being sneaky and looking at rings for me, I saw these and I thought that they’d be adorable, but I just didn’t have the bits on me” She steepled her fingers and looked at them.

You are aware that Max’s finances are your own, correct? Within reason, he is perfectly happy to share his wealth with you.” Noir stated.

“I-I know that, but I can’t just take bits from him!” Twilight protested. “I had some saved up anyway, so it didn’t set me back too badly.” She lied poorly.

I interlaced my fingers while my thoughts raced. “You know, Twilight, I have plenty of space in my house.”

Noir put her hand on my shoulder and gave me a little smile. I gave her a nod and Twilight just looked at me. “I know that, Max. Your house is probably bigger than Applejack’s and mine combined.”

“I’m just saying that I could host your entire family, or just you and Spike.” I looked at my hands.

“That’s what having a lot of space entails, amour. Are you okay?” Twilight asked.

“Just thinking…” I turned my gave to my favorite mage. “Twilight, how would you feel about moving in with me?”

Her eyes widened and I swear I could see her looking at how things would play out, visualizing possible outcomes. “Max... “

I placed a hand over hers. “You don’t have to answer now. Just give it some thought, okay?”

“I have, and I can’t leave the library, Max. It’s my duty to take care of it, and ever since coming to Ponyville, it’s become my home. I want to live with you, I just think-”

“What if I had Celestia move the Treebrary?” I asked.

Noir sighed and Twilight gave me a funny look. “There would be a gaping hole in the middle of town.”

I raised a brow. “And?”

Twilight patted my leg. “I’m honored and thrilled that you would ask, but now’s just not the time, amour.”

“Damn. What if I threw in free tummy rubs whenever you asked?”

Noir scoffed. “Such things are for lesser women. Twilight is far too classy to be swayed by simple tummy rubs.”

“They’re not that simple.” Twilight said softly.

I reached over to grab one of her breasts. “They’re pretty fun for me too.”

Twilight let me do it and swatted my hand away after a moment. “You’re terrible.”

Noir teleported to her other side and did the same thing I’d done, but she elicited a blush and an ‘eep!’. “He’s terrible because he likes you.”

Twilight swatted her hand away too. “Who said you could do that!?”

“I told her that she could do it once.” I explained.

“Rarely do I ever get to touch someone other than Max. That, and your reactions are simply adorable!” Noir beamed at her.

Twilight covered her chest, her face bright red. “Both of you are incorrigible! I see why you get along most of the time!”

Noir and I traded a look before each of us grabbed Twilight’s thighs, causing her to leave her breasts unprotected. We swapped targets and flustered Twilight pretty quickly, but we stopped long before she could start getting upset. She was still annoyed with both of us, but while she was trying to give us the silent treatment, I shifted the scene from my old house to the streets of London. Twilight stopped being upset and marvelled at the menagerie of humans walking about that I wasn’t aware I remembered, strolling up to inspect them up close and personally. I tried not to let my heart dwell on the fact that I would never see so many of my own kind again, but that load of bollocks kept coming up as we moved through my memory to the point where I ditched Noir and Twilight to quell the straight up despair I was feeling.

Don’t misunderstand me: I like my life in Equestria well enough. I’ve got good enough friends, great weed whenever I want it, most pull with politics than I’d ever thought possible, incredible powers, and a phenomenal lover. I was happy with what I had, but after being in Equestria for so long, I was sorely missing my people. They weren’t mine per se, but now more than ever, I felt so alone. So heart crushingly lonely. I missed everything I’d seen from the interesting tan flats lining the streets to the tram to the sight of seeing people milling about, doing whatever it was that they wanted or needed to do. I felt something ache deep inside when I faced the fact that I was never going back because of reasons I’d never had any say in, things I hadn't had any control over.

After a few minutes of an intense panic attack, I swallowed the worst of my pain to find that Twilight was leading Noir around, looking for me since I’d up and disappeared. With my emotions in check, I rejoined them and Noir inquired about why I had been gone rather casually. I told them that I really didn’t want to talk about it at the moment and that getting on with the tour my help me get over my funk. Twilight mentioned that my voice had lost what little inflection I’d had and I told her that I would tell her if it became a real problem.

Noir disagreed and said that I needed to vent my frustrations, but she did say that letting me speak about it on my own terms would be better than forcing me to spill everything then and there, so we continued with my mini tour. I took them by the London Eye, and since I’d ridden it once, we were able to get on it and Twilight was absolutely euphoric. Noir was amused by Twilight more so than the cityscape, but I thought she was still worried about me and that little hole in my heart.

I decided to take us to King’s Cross next so Twilight could see what a real train station looks like, but she wanted to talk about my feelings a lot more than I did. Noir asked her to leave it be, so Twilight relented, though it was obvious that she wanted to continue asking questions until the Sun died. I showed her some affection for being nice by way of a tender kiss that she returned happily until Noir made a retching noise and ruined the moment. I gave the offending mare a spank with my tentacle and she yelped like a pup, which I found quite amusing. She did it for Twilight more so than because it hurt, but it was still amusing.

We saw as few more sights, but when Twilight asked if London was my hometown, I truthfully told her that it wasn’t.

She cocked her head and looked at me. “If this isn’t your hometown, then why are we here?”

“Because I’m not going back to Wiltshire anytime soon. If just being here made me feel terrible, I’m not about to invite anymore bullshit onto myself.” I replied evenly.

“If you’re having a bad time, then why are we still here?” She asked.

Noir coughed. “Max wanted to show you a piece of his home, but couldn’t bear to come too close. There are a few places we could show you that he does not mind too terribly.”

Twilight turned her gaze back to me. “Is that okay? I don’t want to push you too far…”

I shrugged and transported us to the church that had been one of my last destinations on Earth.. Twilight blinked a couple time and I said, “I don’t mind showing you my old safe house. This place is where I used to lie low for a little bit after a job, hide stuff, or lose a tail. This place meant a lot to me when I had it.”

“...What is it? It looks like something out of a castle, but smaller and worn down.” Twilight asked.

“Remember when I explained the concept of religion and worship to you?” I asked.

She nodded. “Yeah, this is where people came to worship in my town a long time ago. Another church was built and this one was pretty much just left to rot, but it’s still a church.” I explained.

“Wow…” Twilight gasped. She walked along the walls and took everything inwhile Noir and I watched her.

“She’s a good woman.” Noir whispered to me.

“I’m lucky to have her. There’s no one else who could take her place at this point.” I replied.

Noir placed a hand on my shoulder and we waited for Twilight to rejoin us. When she did, she was confused by the little smiles we were wearing. “I’m sorry, did I miss something?”

“Noir and I were just talking about how good you are when you’re not abusing me.” I smirked.

Twilight colored. “Well forgive me to holding you to a standard!”

Noir chuckled harder than I would’ve liked her to, so I pinched her fur and pulled, eliciting another yelp. “I’ll hold it against you for as long as I can.”

“You’d better, otherwise how else will you know I care?” Twilight asked playfully.

“By the way you stroke it when you’re not giving me the succ.” I grinned cheekily.

Twilight just gave me an odd look, but Noir had to ruin it by saying, “He was talking about his penis.”

My lover rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the blush. “Terrible. Simply terrible.”

Noir gave her a sad smile. “I can tell that your headache is building, Twilight Sparkle. It’s time for you to go.”

Twilight sighed. “I guess I shouldn’t push myself too hard. Next time, can we watch a movie like you two talked about?”

“Of course, cherry. I have the perfect one in mind for you.” Fuck The Notebook, but she might like it.

She beamed before fading out of the world. Noir turned to me and said. “I like her.”

“More than anyone else?” I asked.

“Much more. Keep her close, Maximus. She will prove valuable to you in so many ways.” Noir sighed happily.

“She already is, but you know that.” I stated.

Noir waved me off. “That I do. Be sure to give her my best when she comes along with you.”

“Sure thing, babe. Let me get your number and I’ll even call you during sex so you can listen.” I jibed.

“It’s five five five, go fuck yourself.” Noir said casually.

“Is that ‘go fuck yourself’ with an ‘oh’ or a zero?”

She rolled her eyes and I felt my own begin to close before I reopened them to find Twilight’s head in my lap. I stroked through her hair and rubbed her eyes while she made noises of approval that just made me want to keep going. She didn’t consent to a belly rub, though she did allow me to pet her thighs since I was rather fond of them. She was a little confused that I was content with just touching her legs, but I told her that not all fetishes had to be outright kinky or perverted, so she let me keep doing what I was doing as long as I kept my hands in a decent place. There were no issues.

We spent the rest of the day letting my house air out, but we were excited about the Bridleland trip and we both knew it. I wanted to hear people with my accent again, even if they weren’t my people and Twilight wanted to see the sights that she’d missed out on, so the day after tomorrow was going to be the one when we both got what we wanted.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nothing important happened on the day before the trip, so I’m skipping it because all it really included was some cuddling and some more talking. The girls and I all gathered at Twilight’s for a little tea before we hopped onto the train going to Bridleland, but that was the most interesting part before our departure. Besides a whole lot of talking about what we’d see in Manehattan, most of the conversations were about little tidbits of information that the girls had gathered through asking just about any available source. When the fifth hour of the train ride came, the conversation lulled, so Twilight started asking about nuances that were different between England and Equestria, though I warned the girls that they should take my words with a grain of salt since my England and their Bridleland were most likely vastly different.

Still, It was fun to talk to an audience that was wrapped around my little finger and even some of the other passengers of the car had to listen to the strange creature tell tales of a place from another world. I thought that it was super dope that I caught everyone’s attention so easily, and when I asked about if offhandedly, Applejack told me that it was rare for me to talk so much at once without taking shots at someone. I was a little offended by that, but I saw the truth in her words for what they were.

When we arrived in Manehattan, it was nice and nighty out, so we all agreed to pitch in for a couple hotel rooms, despite me offering to pay for everything since I had the scratch to back it up. The girls objected since I was already paying the cost to use the Grand Teleportation Station, so I let them pool their comparatively meager funds and just straight up ignored them while they did. They were pissed that I’d just wrote out a check and paid for four rooms, but I told them that they should pick a buddy and see where that took them instead of trying to be mad at the ever loveable me. They got the point and Applejack paired with Rarity, Pinkie with Rainbow, and Fluttershy with Twilight. Spike and I took the last room since we’re dudes, but that pretty much just meant that the girls were in our room for a lot of the night. I ordered a little champagne for them since it was a special occasion and Rarity raised a toast in my honor, thanking me for financing pretty much the entire trip, stroke the train tickets to get to Manehattan.

We went to sleep around one in the morning which meant that we got a bit of a late start because of Rainbow and Rarity, but all was well since we didn’t have a set time to be anywhere. The longest part of the journey was already up, so we headed to the Grand Teleportation Station a little after noon and I wrote another check, doling out well over two thousand bits for the privilege of watching Twilight, Rarity, and Pinkie all be ill when we arrived in Bridleland. I’d forgotten that Ponies, especially magical ones, hated long distance teleportation like nothing else in the world, though I did find it to be mostly amusing. I patted Twilight and Rarity on the back while they were busy being ill and Applejack helped Pinkie out since I only had two hands. The cowgirl was perfectly fine, but Rainbow and Fluttershy were both feeling a bit queasy themselves, so they had a lie down on one of the benches at the station.

I had a look around while the girls were collecting themselves and had myself a smile. I imagined that this was their analog to King’s Cross if the architecture was anything to go by. I spotted a couple of maps that told us where were actually in Teatown, their bullshit excuse for London. It was a little gross, but I found myself shrugging off the filth I felt and looked around some more. The place was massive and there were a few different species going about their business, but the majority were Earth Ponies that never really had to wait too long whenever they teleported in.

Twilight took the longest to recover, and when she did, I struck up a conversation with the fellow who was manning the station. The fellow seemed like your average bobby, though he’d been watching on in mild amusement, so I was interested in what he had to say.

“Oi, mate! What’s got you all smiley?” I asked with a smirk.

“Nothin’ bruv. Don’t get too many ponies using LDT around these parts, so it’s always funny to see the Unicorns have a time of it.” He answered with a touch of Cockney in his accent.

“Long distance teleportation?” He nodded. “If it makes them this sick, I see why they don’t It’s never affected me worth a damn, but one of those girls is my sweetheart, so I’m only laughing a little.”

He chuckled. “Welcome home, bruv. I hope your Equestrian fillies have a good time ‘round here.”

“Thanks mate, but I have a few more questions before we cut and run.” I left the implication hanging.

He made a gesture. “Then go on. I ain’t gonna bite.”

“I come from a different world, but my country is basically Bridleland. They take up the same spots and the accent is similar, but I need to know if people around here still trade jabs like it’s biscuits over tea.”

“Sounds like home to me. Don’t let nopony take nothin’ too personal while they’re here and you should be right as rain.” He answered.

“Fuckin’ A, mate. Are there any sights we need to see while we’re here? Maybe an ancient circle of stones or a giant clock tower?”

He raised a brow. “I’m guessin’ your country had the same stuff?”

I shrugged. “Pretty much. I’m willing to bet that there ain’t- aren’t,” I corrected myself, “too many similarities, but the monuments sound about right.”

He held up and hand and walked away to a door. I assumed that door lead to a room because he came out of it with a map and a pamphlet. “This is the stuff I usually give ponies who are polite enough to actually say summa to me. I might be from here, but I ain’t too fond of bein’ snubbed.”

“It’s a good enough reason to get rolled if you ask me. Hell, it’s been a good enough reason on multiple occasions when I was younger and dumber.” I chuckled.

He gave me a look. “Just don’t start nothin’ or your visit gets cut short. Might be somepony important for all I know, but that doesn’t mean we Brids put up with that nonsense.”

I nodded. “I understand, mate. I’ve got too many level heads around me to do anything too stupid.”

He returned my nod. “Then I trust ya not to do nothin’ too dumb. Have a good visit, bruv.”

“Take it easy, mate.”

I wandered back over to the girls and showed them the map and pamphlet that I’d received, inviting them to pick something to see so we could have a good couple of days already. Twilight immediately wanted to head south towards Stonehenge, but I wanted to show them the sights of Teatown first since we were already fucking here. No one could argue with my logic, so that’s what we did. With Twilight manning the map, the first thing she wanted to do was take the girls to the Teatown Roller, their facsimile of the London Eye. Pinkie was ecstatic when she saw it and I was happy enough to let her run ahead until she was approached by some seedy looking fuck. The guy looked to be around our age, but his dingy coat that seemed like he’d coated himself in grease paired with the slicked back style of his hair told me that I was looking at a gangster of some kind.

Slimey Fuck, as he will be named, chatted Pinkie up until the group joined her. I could see his eyes sweep across the girls until they landed on me and he gave me a glare.

“Hullo all.” He said, wiping the shitty look off of his face. “I’m guessing you’re all friends of this bonny little bunny?”

Pinkie beamed. “They sure are! The mare with the hat is Applejack, the pretty one is Fluttershy, the white and pretty one is Rarity, the flat chested one is Rainbow-”

“Hey!” Rainbow objected.

“-The less flat chested one is me, the purple one is Twilight, the dragon is Spike, and the nonpony is Max!” Pinkie finished.

He gave us the two fingered salute with a greasy smile and I flipped it back to him. “I know what that means, mate. Fuck you.” I said coldly.

Slimy Fuck’s eyes widened before he grinned again. “Just havin’ some fun with your out of towner buddies, bruv, nothin’ to get upset about.”

“Roll over, mate. If that’s how you greet people who ain’t done shit to ya, I ain’t too fond o’ ya already.” I replied, my inner chav seeking daylight.

“Max, that’s no reason to be rude!” Twilight chastised.

“Yeah, listen to your buddy and don’t take it too personal. Now, if ya don’t mind, I was gettin’ to know your adorable little friend here.” He gave me a smirk.

I wanted to stab this guy.

“Pinkie, you know where to find us when you finish up.” Applejack said softly before heading over to whisper something in her ear. Pinkie’s eyes lit up with an evil glint and she smiled wider at Slimy Fuck.

“Bye!” She said quickly, waving us off already.

“No. No one goes solo in a foreign country. Period.” I said sternly.

Rarity nodded. “I agree. It does seem awfully dangerous to be alone.”

Slimy Fuck gave her a grin as grimy as his personality. “There ain’t nopony alone here, bonny, so just go and have yourselves some fun, yeah?”

“I’ll be perfectly fine!” Pinkie assured us. She let her gaze linger on me before bouncing over to put something in my hand. It was a little barrette she always wore.

I gave Pinkie a quick hug and whispered to her. “You have my full permission to eviscerate this guy if he tries something you don’t like.”

The evil glint returned to her eye and her smile grew dark.. “It’s better I don’t say what’s about to happen. Come find me tomorrow, okay?” She whispered back.

I gave her a nod and looked back to the greaseball. “Take care of her, mate.”

“Oh trust me, I will.” He grinned.

I really wanted to stab this guy.

The girls and I left Pinkie to her own devices and trekked to the Teatown Roller. Applejack took me a little ways from the group to talk to me for a moment.

“So what did you say to Pinkie?” She asked quietly.

“I told her to do whatever was necessary to come back.” I replied. “What did you tell her?”

“I told her that she needs to be careful. I don’t like the looks of that guy.”

“He’s a fucking snatcher if I’ve ever seen one. Pinkie said to come collect her tomorrow, but I don’t think she’s just planning on getting some from him.” I stated.

“What do you mean?” Applejack asked.

“Pinkie is the most dangerous person I’ve ever met. I don’t think that guy stands a chance at doing anything she doesn’t want him to do” I explained.

“Pinkie ain’t that bad, Max, and that’s what’s worryin’ me. She’s an awful nice mare for a scumbag like that.”

“She’ll be okay, firefly. Believe in her and don’t get caught up thinking too hard about it.” I said more loudly.

With everything said that needed to be, we rejoined the group and the girls asked us what we’d been talking about. We told them ‘Pinkie’ at the exact same moment and elicited a few nervous giggles that sparked a conversation about what exactly Pinkie was going to be doing with that guy. I straight up told them that Pinkie was looking for her first piece of tail, but Rarity and Fluttershy assured me that she could find someone better than that, and I believed them as far as I could throw them. Twilight said that Pinkie was probably just looking to make another friend, though Applejack and I traded a look at the sheer level of naivety of the statement, but neither of us were willing to correct her.

We alighted to the Teatown Roller and had a look at the cityscape, though Twilight whispered that it wasn’t as impressive as the one I’d shown her had been. I gave her a hug and a smooch on the cheek for pumping up my ego a little bit while the girls ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ at the sights. I took some time to look out myself, but I didn’t see anything terribly impressive, so I asked to borrow Rarity’s collapsable mirror, though she asked why I needed it. I showed her when I went to stand behind Twilight and got hit twice for being a pervert. Spike told me to stop doing things I’d told him not to do and I apologized for being such a bad role model, promising to keep it to a minimum after that.

We walked around the rest of the town and I chatted up a few strangers along the way. The ‘accents’ varied in thickness, some ranging from brutally Welsh to light like my own. It was just nice to hear familiar voices, though the girls were confused when most of the men I talked to called me names and I traded barbs with them. I ended up talking our way into a pub with a fellow and a few girls from his ‘herd’, though he’d thought the girls were all mine to claim. I told him that while I’d had my dick in most (which got me hit by everyone in the party), that I couldn’t actually call anyone other than Twilight mine.

The fellow named Spotted Swinger took us to a nicer establishment that Rarity and Fluttershy thought was ‘absolutely charming’ and we all had some fish and chips. Ponies don’t usually eat fish, but it was a staple in Briddish life that I was grateful had carried over. I ended up eating Fluttershy’s, Twilight’s, and Rainbow’s fish with Spike got Applejack’s and Rarity’s. I also ended up going through five baskets of fries, but when Swinger asked where I was putting everything, I told him that I always ate as such and that if I didn’t I was left lethargic and tired all day.

Swinger’s herd took the girls to see some more of the sights while the two of us trailed behind them, keeping everyone in our sights. Spike had deigned it worthy of his time to join us as he munched on some fish he’d gotten, though I was pretty sure he was just tired of being surrounded by females constantly. I struck up a conversation with Swinger while we were walking and we came to the topic of the sketchy side of town.

“Hey mate, I know it’s a big town, but do you know of anyone with a real matted down off white coat and greasy slicked back hair?” I asked.

Swinger ran a hand through his own stylish hair. “The only pony I know fitting that description is my brother, Rotten Pock. His name says it all.”

I raised my brows. “Do you know if he has a thing for younger looking women?”

“That means mares, right?”

“Yup.”

“Then he sure does. He likes ‘em as young as he can get ‘em. I don’t really get it myself, but he’s told me before that they’re just better than older mares.”

“That’s pretty gross, mate.” Spike said after swallowing some fish.

Swinger shrugged. “He’s rotten. I don’t even like the guy and I was raised with him.”

“I think one of my friends got suckered into sleeping with him. I don’t know how to tell you this mate, but Rotten might end up missing.” I said delicately.

He barked out a harsh laugh. “That’s what he gets for going for our own damn niece. Rotten is a piece of shit in the worst way, Max. He deserves whatever he gets.”

I grinned morbidly. “The Briddish here really do remind me of my countrymen. You get what’s coming to ya and no one feels sorry when it comes.”

Swinger touched my shoulder with his knuckles. “It’s how life works, mate. You buck up, you get bucked. Nothing else to it.”

Spike started walking a little faster. “You guys kinda scare me.”

“Great minds think alike, and we just so happen to be above average.” I quipped.

“Only above average? I’d say we’re positively adequate!” Swinger chuckled.

“Dear Celestia, there’s two of you!” Spike lamented.

“There’s more of us around. What say I introduce you gents to some of my friends tomorrow? I don’t know how long you plan on being in town, but I think you guys’ll fit right in.” Swinger offered.

“Sounds good to me, but I need to clear it with my woman.” I replied.

He shoved me lightly. “You’re already whipped and you’re not even married!”

I shoved him back, chuckling. “Mate, she’s my everything. If she fucked off without telling me where she was going, I’d have a fucking panic attack trying to find her.”

“Shit, I almost had one the other day when I couldn’t find my main squeeze, if I know what you’re talking about. When Honey Cake went to see her parents up in Shepherd's Field and didn’t tell me, I lost my shit trying to find her for days!”

Spike piped up. “I know when Apple Bloom went to go see some of her family in Appaloosa with her brother and didn’t tell me, I panicked until someone told me that they left.”

“And how long did you stay mad at her?” Swinger asked.

“Only a few days. I didn’t talk to her for the rest of the week to let her know that I was mad, but she kept apologizing and I started feeling bad, so I let it go.”

“That’s pretty cool of you for a Dragon.” Swinger commented.

“He’s a real good kid, I’ll give him that. I’ve only ever had to ground him once, and even then, he stuck to it like a trooper.” I mentioned.

Swinger raised a brow while Spike puffed his chest out. “You're his dad?”

“Nah, I’m like his big brother. The purple one, Twilight, hatched him and is raising him right now.” I expounded.

“Aren’t you two a little young to have a colt his age anyways? I mean, not that I’m judging, but it doesn't seem like the most sensible thing to me.” Swinger said, trying to be tactful.

I gave him a look. “Mate, my life stopped making sense when I got to this world. I just roll with the punches at this point.”

He chuckled. “I guess there’s only so much you can do.”

We chatted for awhile longer until the group of ladies ahead of us stopped and let us catch up, though we took our time in joining them. Swinger and his companions offered to let two each stay at their respective houses, but I wanted to keep everyone together. They pointed us to a nice enough hotel that Rarity still complained about, though I shut her up when I said that criticizing a place we’d been pointed to was rude and more than a little discourteous. She didn’t complain much after that and the girls paid for the rooms for the night, though we ended up with three rooms instead of four. Rarity and Fluttershy took one, Rainbow and Applejack another, and Twilight, Spike and I shared the last one. Luckily, we’d gotten the room with two beds so Spike didn’t have to sleep with Twilight and I like we were his actual parents and he was much younger.

Twilight and I spent a few hours smooching since we’d missed out on a lot of it today, but we kept our hands above the blankets like good children. It wasn’t like either of us were going to risk waking Spike up by doing any funny business, but it was still radical to sleep next to my love.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next morning saw everyone rising at a half decent time. Twilight had fully adjusted to my usual sleep schedule, which is to say, waking up around the same time Applejack and Fluttershy usually do and occasionally a few hours earlier. Luckily, we all arose around the same time and Spike joined us in the hotel lobby for a continental breakfast. I was sure that he was just glad that he didn’t have to make it, and thanks to there being a delegation of Gryphons in the same hotel, they served meats for breakfast too. I tucked into some bacon and a small bit of roast beef for reasons and Spike asked Twilight if he could try some too. She told him no outright, but when Fluttershy and I pointed out that Dragons were supposed to eat meat and that Spike’s vegetarian diet was probably why he’s so small, she acquiesced on the subject and Spike tore everything on his plate apart.

I really needed to give that kid a steak sometime.

I warned him that while I would be happy to share some of my own stores with him, eating meat in front of Ponies in most situations is considered tasteless. He licked his teeth, trying to get the bits of meat stuck within out while he was.

“Got some meat in your mouth don’t you, mate?” I asked casually.

“Yeah! I didn’t know it was that good!” He beamed.

Twilight blanched. “Spike, I think you need a toothpick.”

Fluttershy and Applejack nodded. I shrugged. “Working it out with your tongue is kinda fun. Are you you girls don’t want to try any, just to say you’ve had the experience?”

Applejack shrugged and grabbed a chewy strip of bacon off of my plate, having a bite. She chewed for awhile before shrugging and eating the rest. “It ain’t bad, but I don’t think I’d make a habit of it.”

Fluttershy was next to try, though Applejack had cleared my plate of my last piece, so I went to get some more. I returned with a plate full of the stuff and Twilight gingerly grabbed a piece, nibbling on it like she thought it was poisonous. After a moment, she bit off a little more and kept going until it was gone, but she didn’t seem to like it much.

Twilight scrunched her nose up. “It wasn’t terrible, but it was a lot like eating plain grass.”

Fluttershy nodded, but she kept taking pieces off of my plate. “I don’t know why, but I kinda like the taste.”

“If you eat too much, you might get sick.” I warned her. “Ponies in my world could eat some meat, but they couldn’t eat a lot of it. There are stories and some traditions that said that feeding horses meat was perfectly fine, but I’m not one hundred percent on it.”

Twilight stared at me, her eyes narrowed. “Did you just call us whorses?”

I cocked my head at her. “Horses are like ponies but bigger in my world.”

She nodded. “I thought you were calling us promiscuous for a moment.”

Fluttershy waved a piece of bacon at me. “For the record, I’ve only slept with three ponies.”

“I only got five stallions under my belt, but with you and Flutters, that makes seven.” Applejack added.

Twilight colored. “I’ve never had a stallion, but I slept with Max when he was Roxy.”

They all turned to me and I turned to Spike. “You know they’re trying to call me a whore.”

He shrugged. “If the shoe fits.”

I turned back to them and they leaned forward. I started counting off women on my plate with strips of delicious, symbolic bacon. Once I got to ten, I hesitated. “Does being raped count?”

“Of course not!” They exclaimed in unison like I’d personally offended them.

I held my hands up. “Grow some chill and smoke it. If you don’t count Zeal, then I’ve slept with ten women and had sexual contact with three. Keep in mind that you girls and Celestia make up exactly half of that number.”

“Max, you're a slut.” Applejack chuckled.

I turned beet red. “Shut up.” I muttered.

“I knew it had to be a lot, but I wasn’t expecting it to be double digits!” Fluttershy tittered.

I didn’t reply to that.

“Wow… Sloppy seconds isn’t the word for it.” Spike commented while grabbed a handful of bacon from my plate.

I got up and left.

“Spike! How could you say that!?” Twilight reprimanded harshly

“I don’t even really know what it means!” I heard him protest.

I didn’t really care that much all things said, but I felt dirty now that my sluttiness was being thrown in my face. It was a gross feeling that I felt I deserved, and I knew another shower wasn’t going to do anything, but at the very least I could be physically clean for Twilight if not spiritually. I could wash off any juices that might have been left over from any of my escapades , but that didn’t mean that I could wash the pussy out of my soul, and I was rather sure that I’d faced that fact a long time ago. I change my mind; I was hurt by what Spike, Applejack, and Fluttershy had said, but that didn’t make their words any less true. I was exactly what they’d called me and I knew it.

While I was in the shower, I heard Twilight come in and knock on the bathroom door. “Max? Are you okay?

“I’m alright, I just feel gross.” I called back.

I heard the door creak open and Twilight walked in. I poked my head out of the shower to see that she was stripping down. “Whatcha doin’? I asked.

Twilight finished up with a blush and covered herself before walking over to the shower door. “I’m getting in the shower.”

“I’m already in the shower.” I stated dumbly.

“Just move over will you? There’s a draft!” Twilight protested.

I stepped back and let her in, though she didn’t seem too interested in the water. Instead, she threw her arms around my neck and I blanched hard. “I don’t really want to be touched right now, cherry.”

“Too bad. You’re not gross, so you’re getting touched.” Twilight said firmly.

Speaking of firm, Twilight’s naked body was pressed against mine and a… Problem, was arising quickly. “I get that, but I feel gross. Hence why I’m in the shower.” I tried to remove her arms and she kissed me.

I knew I wasn’t getting out of there anytime soon without returning her love, so I bit back my shame and hugged my lover, reciprocating her kiss until she pulled away. “No matter how unclean you feel or how many mares you sleep with, I’ll always love you Max. There’s nothing in this world that will ever change that.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that, and thankfully the shower made it a good day for rain, so the physical manifestation of my emotions weren’t terribly noticeable. I gave Twilight another passionate kiss for being the imperfect piece of perfection that she was and she went to grab my lower head, but I knocked her hand away and continued kissing her, not wanting to ruin the moment with something as stupid as sex. Twilight was content to let her lips linger on mine for awhile longer, but she eventually broke our embrace to look at me.

“You’re usually so receptive when I go for that.” She commented.

I wiped the excess moisture from my cheeks. “I’m usually not crying when you do.” She touched my cheek and I held her hand there. “Thank you, cherry. I can honestly say there’s nothing in this world that’s worth more to me than you, Twilight Sparkle, and that will never change, no matter how much time passes.”

“Even when I’m gone?” She whispered.

I closed my eyes. “I’ll be reading my journal, remembering the days we spent together as often as possible. For now, don’t make me think about losing you.” My voice hitched and Twilight came in for one last kiss, this one being shorter than the other two by a mile.

Who held who, I don’t really know, but I felt closer to Twilight than I ever had. She put up with so much of my shit and loved me through the worst of times, no matter what rubbish I put her through… Just writing about losing her made me cry, and I can honestly say that the very thought of it makes me want to go and hold her for as long as I can. In fact, Imma do that now. In the meantime, I think I’ll take a break from my journals.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After the episode in the shower, everyone was already up and Applejack, Spike, and Fluttershy had some apologizing to do. I accepted their words since they were sincere about them and told them that I would have been more offended if they weren’t true. For some odd reason, that made them even more ashamed, though I think it was because of the fact that they’d hit me with a rock hard truth. I could have chosen to stay mad at them, but I reminded myself that being nicer for Twilight was a good way to make her see me as less grey and more white, so I held my tongue, despite wanting to tear each of them down for their own faults.

I had Twilight cast a tracking spell on Pinkie’s barrette so we could go find her, but when we got to the seedy part of town where Rotten apparently lived, Applejack took the lead with Twilight and I rounded up the rear, despite Rainbow claiming that she could hold her own in a fight. I reminded her that I kill shit to make money and she shut up, taking the center of our group to guard Rarity, Fluttershy and Spike from the middle. I let everyone know that I was going to start using my Dark Aura, so they had some time to prepare before I started subtly pushing them away. Spike was rather unaffected and so was Twilight, so I had them join me in the front of the group while the girls followed behind with Applejack taking my former spot in the back.

We made it through the shifty bits unaccosted except for this one time where a respectable enough looking guy asked me if he could talk to Rarity. I, in turn, asked if she minded talking to the fellow and she seemed to be okay with it until he told her that he wanted to tongue punch her fart box in an even more disgusting way than that. The cheeky fucker wouldn’t bugger off when I told him to, but when I drew steel, he got ready to beat feet rather quickly.

Silly bitch, I stab people.

We came to an apartment complex and I had the girls wait outside while I brought Twilight in so we could locate the exact room Pinkie was in. Once we climbed up five flights of stairs to Rotten’s flat, I knocked on the door and waited. And waited. I told Twilight to teleport back to the girls just in case things got ugly, but she put a shield around herself and told me that she’d be fine barring someone as strong as Shining Armour coming around to take a whack at her. After being assured that Shining was actually rather powerful, I stepped into Rotten’s flat and the first thing that hit me was the smell of blood and various other rotten things, ironically. The blood bit was the part that worried me, so I closed the door behind me quietly and snuck around the living room, to the kitchen and to the bathroom. All of those areas were clear, so I cracked the bedroom door and took a glimpse inside.

I saw Pinkie sitting on the edge of the bed with her hair completely straight, smoking a fag. Where she got it from, I have no clue. When she saw me, she reached around to her and put it out on the prone form that was lying on the bed, too still for him to be alive. Pinkie very calmly got up and walked toward me, and that was when I saw the knife in her hand.

“Pinkie…” I said softly.

“It’s Pinkamena right now.” She replied, an innocent little smile on her face.

“Pinkamena. Did you kill him?”

Her smile turned sad. “I had to. He’s hurt a lot of little fillies. Fillies without their Cutie Marks, little more than babies.”

I nodded. “Did you get what you wanted from him?”

“Everything.”

“...The girls are all waiting outside. Don’t tell them about this.”

Pinkamena put her hand on my arm. “They wouldn’t understand like we do. They see me as little more than their foalish friend.”

I kissed her forehead. “Are you okay? I’ve never met Pinkamena before.”

“Me and Pinkie are the same pony, Max. It’s just easier to do my job like this.”

“What do you consider your job to be?”

She looked back at the filth. “To get rid of ponies like him before they can do any more damage. I didn’t take it as seriously until the thing with Zeal. I knew I should’ve taken care of her a long time ago, but you know what they say about spilling blood on your doorstep.”

“I don’t, actually, but I get it. Do you need to clean up?”

“I showered when I was through with him. You don’t actually think I let him buck me, do you?”

“I was hoping that you had higher standards, but you’ve always been a wild card to me.” I said honestly.

Pinkamena hooked a finger into my V-Neck and pulled me down to her level, patting my cheek a couple times. “There’s a method to the madness, sweetie. Let’s go stop worrying Twilight. Tell her that Rotten wasn’t ready to let me go and that you punched him.”

“I’ll tell her that you took care of your own problem. I can’t lie to Twilight.”

“That’s all I can ask then.”

We walked back through the flat and Pinkie’s hair slowly poofed back up until she was bouncing along, happy as could be again. I chalked it up to Pinkie being fucking insane and left it at that since I didn’t want her to think that I disagreed with her. I trusted Pinkie’s, or rather, Pinkamena’s judgement on certain things, and what she said aligned pretty well with what Swinger said. I hadn't been worried about her since I knew Pinkie too well to believe that she’d let herself get hurt, but now that I knew Pinkie could be lethal, I was glad to have another fighting force on the team. Applejack was strong, Rainbow fast, and Twilight magically powerful, but I needed to know that someone besides me had killing potential and it didn’t really surprise me to find that Pinkie was the one who had it.

Twilight asked what had taken us so long and Pinkie said that Rotten was really possessive when it came to new friends and that he didn’t want to let her go. Twilight asked me if I had anything to do with it and I told her that Pinkie Pie handled her own mess quite well, but my lover wanted to go in and have a look. I warned her against it and Pinkie backed me up, so we joined the girls outside to find that there were five other ladies harassing our friends.

“Oi! Bugger off!” I shouted when I saw one of them push Applejack.

The lead bitch smirked at me, but when Applejack tapped her shoulder twice, that was the night when the Lights went out in Georgia.

So what? I listen to Reba. Fuck you.

All Hell was about to break loose until Twilight detained the four remaining shitfuckers and teleported them away, though I don’t know where. When she did that, I remembered to give Pinkie back her hair thing and she beamed at me, though Applejack was just upset that she didn’t get to have the full on brawl she’d been anticipating. If Applejack was disappointed, then Rainbow was downright glum as we walked to the central train station to head south toward Stonehenge.

The day was already super fucked up in my book, but the train ride to Amesbury was pretty cool. The scenery was nice, but it wasn’t the familiar countryside that I’d grown to know over the years. We’d be heading toward this world’s Wiltshire when we got there, but I wasn’t terribly eager to see what lie in wait for me. I mostly just stared out the window of the train until Twilight asked me what was wrong, so I told her that we were effectively heading back towards my home town. She got why I was being so distant after that, but the girls had overheard and the next thing I knew, I was in the center of a group hug. It was nice, but fucking warm.

We arrived in Wiltshire, but we didn’t stay there very long, instead heading toward Stonehenge soon after landing. I would write about it, but anyone who should be reading this has already been there and all Twilight did was take a few commemorative photos and suck up some of the ambient magic. There weren’t many Unicorns there, but the few that were left quickly enough, Rarity being one of their numbers. She headed into town with Applejack and Rainbow since neither of them wanted to look at big rocks all day, and the rest of us met them at the train station because I wasn’t going into town any time soon.

After being in Wiltshire for a few hours, I was feeling worn out. We headed back to London and had a late lunch at one of the nicer establishments around town as per Rarity’s request, though they still had curry, which I fucking love. I hadn't had it since coming to Equestria and I was thrilled to see it in the menu, so I ordered three servings with different magnitudes of heat. I ate in ascending order, but they weren’t as hot as any of Pinkie’s sauces, so I was able to enjoy them quite well, though Twilight asked why I was so fond. I explained that it was one of the few things I could make myself, but I’d just never seen any rice in the Ponyville market and it wasn’t on any menus in Canterlot, so I was pretty much out of luck in that respect.

Still, lunch was good and Twilight mentioned that I needed to slow my roll before I got fat and unattractive. Well, she didn’t say unattractive, but it was heavily implied. She also told me to stop taking her words out of context and I told her to stop being mean and that she was hurting my feelings, which she totally fell for until Spike started snickering like a like a prat.

We walked around the better parts of town for a little bit until I got a note from Celestia asking me why I had just up and left without stopping by Canterlot first. I wrote back using some of Rarity’s least favorite lipstick on the same piece of paper telling her that she could visit me whenever and that all she had to do was ask if I wanted to see her for a little bit most days. She told me that I’d be in trouble for not telling her that I was going to Bridleland in the first place, but I reminded her that I’d written her about it when I’d first made the damn plans in the first place. She apologized for being a shit and I gave Rarity back the last remnants of the horrible shade, but she just threw it away in the next bin we saw.

We met Swinger, Honey Cake, Rose Charm, and Twinkle Twirl for a matinee before we had to hurry up and get to Princess’s Cross so we could ship our arses back to Equestria, but something told me that I should go back to Wiltshire. I ignored the everloving fuck out of that feeling and went back home, not trusting my gut to do the right thing for once. I may have wanted to see my world again, but I wasn’t willing to take the risk of losing Twilight, and that’s all there was to it. I didn’t want the girls to suffer like I was, so I ruled out any possibilities and saved it for a later date, just in case it was something that needed to be done. I don't know why I felt like it was a ticket back to England, but the shit made sense in a weird way. If I'd been thrown from my world while I was in my version of Wiltshire, it only made sense for there to be a repeat of the events.

When we got to the Teleportation Station, there was a new bobby working the runes, so I greeted him and asked that we be sent back to the Grand Teleportation Station. He asked to see our tickets and Twilight had to fish them out of one of her bags. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find them until I reminded her that she could teleport the damned things to us, though I said it in a much nicer way. Once we had our tickets in hand, we were allowed to go stand on some weird marking and we were teleported back to Manehattan. The same girls were sick all over again, and since it was earlier in the day back in Equestria, we didn’t have to stay in a hotel. We did anyway since there was a play that Fluttershy wanted to see the next day, so I booked us another set of rooms for a night and we walked around town for a little bit.

People in Manehattan were arseholes. That’s all there is to it. Even the people in Bridleland, though coarse with their language, meant a lot less harm than the people living in Manehattan, and I found it to be the reason for cursing a lot of people out. Even doing something as simple as asking directions was something that people wanted to bitch and moan about, and by the third person, Twilight and the girls stopped letting me talk to people.

We eventually found someone who wasn’t a bitter, jaded shithead to ask for directions and we passed by the theater we were going to be attending the next day. There was a play going on that day and we’d come with plenty of time to see it, so we bought tickets and sat down to watch it.

Shit was so boring.

Seriously, the whole plot of the story was basically that some farmers daughter had a love interest in a prince, but her father forbid their love because he wanted her to marry some other guy for some bullshit contrived reason, but the woman’s mother was all for it and through two hours of play bullsht, they managed to wear her father down and get his blessing for her to marry the man she loved. It was the typical bullshit in the most typical fashion, and Spike was asleep before the second act out of four. The whole thing had taken three and a half hours and the the only good thing I had to say about it was that the clothes looked authentic and that the actors took their bow at almost the same time. The acting was terrible, the sets were alright, and the stage effects were rudimentary at best, but when Twilight asked what I thought of the show, I told her the truth despite knowing that she’d liked it.

I was called a pessimist until the girls realized that Spike was out cold. I shook him roughly to wake him up and he fell out of his seat which made everyone have a chuckle at his expense. It was a little on the mean side of me to wake him so rudely, but I was still smarting from the ‘sloppy seconds’ comment from Bridleland, so low level fuck that guy. Spike sputtered and asked why I’d shoved him, but I corrected him and told him that I’d actually just shaken him a little harder than necessary. He was still a salty little bitch about it and refused to talk to me until we got to the hotel, but Twilight chastised him for falling asleep in the first place.

I still had to pay for four rooms again, but this time, Rarity offered to take Spike so Twilight and I could have a little alone time and I was fucking thrilled. We spent the time cuddling and Twilight looked over my shoulder as I wrote. She hit me when I got to the part about calling Spike a salty little bitch, but she’s still watching me write. We took a shower together again, but there wasn’t any funny business and we just enjoyed the time together, though Twilight still wanted to reach back and give me a stroke or two while I was washing her back. I couldn’t blame her since it’s me after all, but she stopped before I could rise all the way. The shit eating grin she gave me was enough to make me give her a hug from behind, and when I wrapped my arms around her she held my hands and we just stood under the water for a few more minutes.

We returned to be and she was quite forward with me, straddling me once I laid down to kiss and nibble on my neck, but she was just teasing at this point. I put my hands on her rear and she leaned forward a bit so I could get a better feel, allowing her hair to fall around our faces. I moved my hands to her hips and was glad that the loose pajama pants I was wearing weren’t restrictive, but it was slowly becoming more and more obvious that Twilight wasn’t teasing like I’d thought she’d been.

When she kissed me, her flat tongue wrapped around my competitively stubby one and she took control like she’d had plenty of practice. Twilight cupped my face in her hands and allowed me to sit up after a moment so I could rest my back against the headboard while we continued locking lips. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer, but just as Twilight was reaching to take my shirt off, there was a knock on the door. Twilight sighed hard and let my shirt fall back to where it’d been, getting up to go ‘greet’ whoever had interrupted our fun time.

As it turns out, it was Rarity saying that she couldn’t allow herself to stay in the same room as Spike since they’d had a long chat about his crush on her. The marshmallow mare said that she just didn’t trust herself to not take Spike’s first kiss after learning the depth of his emotion for her and asked if Twilight would mind switching with him. My frustrated lover agreed with a terribly fake smile and Spike came in, apologizing for ruining my night. I told him not to worry about it too much and he grabbed the other bed, but neither of us went to sleep right away. We ended up talking about who we’d rather date out of the girls (stroke Twilight of course) and he was quite surprised when I said Applejack. I explained that I admired her hard working nature and her honesty at most times, though her incredible loyalty was just another plus. I could manage her temper most days and she’d calmed me down a few times herself, so we weren’t a bad match if you ignored the fact that she hurt me way too often. Spike was predictably tied between Fluttershy and Rarity, stating that both of them were generous and kind most of the time and that helping either of them was nice because he usually got a kiss for it. The guy had his priorities after all.

We talked about Rainbow and Pinkie for a little bit, but we both agreed that Rainbow was too much like one of the guys to really consider claiming her as a girlfriend and that Pinkie just wasn’t mature enough to think of as a real possibility. I mentioned that Pinkie could probably put on a facade for as long as she needed, but I relented when Spike said that all it would ever be was Pinkie acting out of character. We added the stipulation that you actually had to like a girl as a person to count her, so Spike came up with an interesting answer as to who he would probably go with concerning the Cutie Mark Crusaders He liked that Apple Bloom was always zipping about or coming up with something ingenious to do for the day, but that Scootaloo was fun in her own right. She reminded him a lot of Dash, but smaller and more crazy about stuff. Her ideas were always over the top while Apple Bloom’s were always more realistic and he liked the grounded nature of Apple Bloom. I inquired about Sweetie Belle, but he said that she wasn’t allowed to see him after she’d pestered him about that one thing.

Spike passed out while I was talking about how Shining Armour and I had reached an understanding, but I couldn’t really blame him since the day had ran awfully long. I followed him after I got this written down. Literally up to this point. Good night I guess.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

This hotel didn’t have free breakfast, so I had to wait for the rest of the girls to wake up. I’d barely slept the night before, but it was becoming an increasingly common occurrence. The first and only thing on the itinerary today was the play, so I wandered into Twilight and Rarity’s room to check if my lover was awake yet. She was not, so I checked to see where she was facing and slid into her bed. She snuggled up to me almost immediately and that shit was fucking adorable, so I started licking her horn like I was a twink and popped it into my mouth, sucking on her bony lollipop until she started moaning and fidgeting around in her sleep. I thought that this was highly amusing, so I kept doing it for awhile and I’m pretty sure she had an orgasm. I wondered what her dream was about while I dried her horn off, though the taste of grapes was strong in my mouth.

I think she shot a magical load down my throat if the numbness I was feeling is anything to go by.

I waited around for Twilight to wake up, but that took around an hour. I’d only slept for a couple myself, so I was happy to take the time and rest while Twilight was asleep. I cuddled up to her a little closer and she rested her head against my chest, making me glad for the thousandth time that most Unicorn horns weren’t terribly sharp. I was tempted to see if I could get her off again, but I could feel through Twilight’s sleepwear that she had, in fact, gotten off the first time and I was sure that she would be upset with me for that. In fairness, I had no idea that you could stimulate a Unicorn through their horn.

Twilight took a little while longer to wake up, but when she did, she looked up and started kissing my neck without ever seeing my face. I scooted back a bit so she could have a proper look and when she shifted around herself, her eyes widened and she threw the blanket off of us, looking at the small mess she’d made while asleep.

She gave me a ‘really?’ look before rolling over to see Rarity snoozing away. Twilight grabbed my hand and dragged me back to the room that had originally been ours so she could grab some clothes to change into and had me follow her into the loo.

“Really, Max?” She said once I’d closed the door as softly as possible.

“Sorry, but your horn looked like a lolly and I would hate for you to be the only one sucking on something.” I grinned.

She rolled her eyes. “At least the dream was good. Are you going to stand there all day, or are we going to get in the shower?” Do you even know what a lolly is?

“Far be it from me to say no.” I started pulling off my shirt, but Twilight held my hands in place and did it herself, giving my chest a lick for some reason.

“Let me do it. You’re always in charge for stuff like this, and I’d like to give back for once.” Twilight gave me some serious pouty eyes and I returned her look with a kiss.

“All you’ve ever got to do is say so, cherry.” I removed my necklace so it wouldn’t get tarnished in the shower and Twilight had some trouble with hers, so I helped her out.

From there, Twilight stripped me the rest of the way and allowed me to do the same for her, though I think unwrapping my present was more fun than being unwrapped myself. Twilight and I snogged for a little while before we realized that she shower was up to temperature, and when we got in I proved my worth as a back washer. Once we got out, we watched the Sun Rise from the window in the room, though we didn’t continue the kissing.

We heard a soft knock on the door and I got up to see that it was Fluttershy and Applejack again, so I figured that Spike wouldn’t be too far behind. I wrote out a quick note for him and we headed down to the lobby for some polite conversation and talks of breakfast. We almost went without Pinkie, Rarity, Rainbow and Spike, but Twilight said that we should just wake them up if we were really that hungry. I mentioned to her that I really was that hungry and she made me do the wake up call because fuck me and what I want to do.

I let Rarity know that I wasn’t going to put up with an hour of waiting for her to do her bullshit, but she told me that perfection takes time. I told her that she’d better get her arse in gear within the next thirty minutes or we were ditching her, and true to form, Rarity wasn’t downstairs in thirty minutes. I was tempted to just ditch the girls and get myself a bite to eat, but I’m just too nice some days. When the forty-five minute mark came, I was feeling a little heated since Rarity had done nothing but hold us up whenever we were trying to go do something. Twilight sensed my souring mood, so she gave me a few kisses, but that didn’t sate the hunger I was feeling. It helped with a different kind, granted, but having an appetite for affection is different enough that I was still pissed when Rarity came down after an hour and fifteen minutes.

Applejack took point before I could hurt her feelings and kindly told Rarity that our earliest of risers had been waiting nearly four hours for a meal already and that her taking her time was just adding to the clock. Rarity brushed it off, stating that beautification was worth waiting for. Twilight held my arm when I started to go back to give her a piece of my mind and I just let out a breath instead of getting the satisfaction I desired so much. It was a bitch, but I figured that it would be better in the long run if I just told Rarity that she only had an hour to get ready from here on. Shit was seriously selfish, and I wondered how she could possibly be the Element of Generosity.

Still, we got breakfast and I had some Manehattan style hash browns that came with chili, a fried egg and some diced onions. Twilight refused to kiss me after words, so we nipped over to a candy shop and I got a few peppermints to help with my onion breath. I got my kisses after that, but Twilight had ordered something with garlic, so I gave her a couple and she blushed hard. After our little detour, we went and saw Fluttershy’s play and Spike was out cold before the first act was over. This play was slightly better than the last one, but it still had a happy ending that was obvious from the beginning. I didn’t particularly enjoy it, but Twilight was on the edge of her seat along with the rest of the girls for most of the bullshit. I got a few kisses for my patience during the intermission and Spike played off being asleep well enough that no one (besides me) gave him any trouble for it.

The rest of the play was just as tedious as the first half, but I didn’t give my full opinion on it when Fluttershy and Twilight inquired as to what I’d thought of it. I told them that it was simply better than the last, and when they asked what I’d thought of the plot, I told them that it was simplistic and a little humdrum. Fluttershy seemed personally offended until I told her that plays and theatre were more of a female thing unless it was a good tragedy like Macbeth. No one knew what that was, so I explained it to them via summary and the rest of the girls listened in. Everyone blanched when I mentioned that it was full of brutal murder and manipulation, but Spike said it sounded better than the plays we’d watched. That landed him and the dog house and I followed soon after when I defended him, but then I started molesting Twilight with my tentacle, she told me that if I didn’t stop I would be in even more trouble. I kept my faffing about to the odd tap or touch in places that could be seen, though Twilight was still annoyed by my nonsense. I reminded her that I could’ve done it during the play and Twilight just rolled her eyes.

We still had to get home to Ponyville and it was going to take some time, so I did some thinking about my relationship with Twilight. Honestly, I couldn’t be happier with my choice in partners, though I did feel like I was taking more from her than I was giving, so I considered what all I could give her until it hit me: I could give her my virginity! Not the anal one, mind you, since that had been taken from me, but I could still give it to her in another form. I grinned goofily to myself and when asked why I was doing what I was doing, I just told them that I’d thought of a good present for Twilight. That elicited some giggles, but more confusion afterwards. Twilight herself knew to just let it happen when I was ready for it, though Rarity and Pinkie tried to badger me about it until I threatened to knock both of them out, though not with magic. Twilight told me to stop being violent, so I threatened to fuck both of them in the arse until they passed out. Oddly enough, Pinkie was the only one disturbed by this, and Rarity had a certain twinkle in her eye.

The train was held up on the way back because there was something wrong with the magical converter or some shit, but once Twilight had a look at it, things were back on track and we arrived in Ponyville a few hours later. The girls went their separate ways, Twilight gave me a kiss goodbye and I went home to enjoy some much needed alone time. There wasn’t much to do with my journals so I went back to writing Midnight Stroll and the Robbed Ruby Ring. I ended up tying the loose ends together nicely after a few hours of reading through to see how things played out and once I finished up, I was tempted to have Twilight make a copy, but I didn’t want to bother her at the moment. I decided to write while the juices were flowing, but the last book in my romance series, A Star-Crossed Love, just wasn’t what I was feeling at the moment so I started another Midnight Stroll book. I ultimately decided that that the next book I was going to write would have a little magic in it, so I went with the story of how I stole a brooch (and a few other things) and gave the thing a few magical qualities. Earth Ponies would get Magic, Unicorns would get wings, and Pegasi would get strength. I liked the idea pretty well, but after the first couple chapters, my flow petered out, so I went into the mindscape to speak with Noir for awhile.

Three breaths later and I was standing in the Old Castle when it was back in its former glory. Noir was sitting in a third throne in the room that was made for such things, though her throne was the same height as the other two. I found it amusing that she’d chosen this place to meet me, but was more surprised that Noir wasn’t doing anything other than sharpening a knife.

“Wotcher, blackberry. Making shit sharp I see.” I commented.

Noir looked up and put her work aside. “As always. I have been doing some thinking, Maximus.”

I winced. “Full name. Bad sign.”

“It simply implies that this is a serious matter.” She rose and walked over to me.

“Lovely. I like serious things, like, SO much. You don’t even understand my level of elation.” I said with a wry grin.

She shook her head. “We have been putting this off for some time now. It is time to expand your repertoire so that you may defend yourself.”

“I do that pretty well already. Between the powers I got from ‘Capital G’ and your Dark Magic, there’s little else I need.”

“Granted, but I would still prefer that you be able to take down the strongest of foes, rather than have your powers suddenly explode within you if you should ever become a Revenant. I am not going to ‘overpower’ you, as you might say, but I will teach you how to direct your magic more efficiently.”

“Don’t I already have the Warbling Blade for that? I mean, I’m ninety percent sure that it’s a catalyst.”

Noir blinked at me. “You mean you possess the Banshee’s Razor?”

I brought it into existence and held it out to her. “I know most Ponies can’t touch it and that it’s magical in some way, but I don’t know much more than that.”

Noir levitated it with magic, her eyes widening and her jaw loosening. “Where did you even get this artifact?”

I furrowed my brows. “You know everything I do, Noir.”

“You have no memories of this blade that I know of.” She replied softly. “This truly is one of Discord’s creations.”

“Discord? I’ve heard the name before, but I don’t know much about him.”

Noir dropped the blade and started shaking like the very though of being near the knife was sickening to her. “Get it away from me. I will not touch something that demon has had his filthy hands on!”

I picked it up. “Okay then. Can you tell me anything about it?”

Noir grimaced. “It will amplify your power since it was forged with Dark and True Magic, but I do not know why you are able to wield it. Where did you find it?”

“The first mission in the Gryphon Lands. I stole it from someone named Hedard, but he stole it from an Equestrian museum and claimed it as a trophy for himself. Since then, I’ve been using it as a regular knife, though there were a few occurrences that made me question whether or not it was enchanted.”

“I’m sure there have been. That knife is truly a one-of-a-kind.” Noir shook her head. “There are worse hands for it to be in, though I wish I’d thought to ask sooner. It should make this task easier, however.”

“My thoughts exactly. So what do you want to show me, if you don’t have any more questions that is.”

Noir shook her head. “I know the history of the blade. I’ll tell you of it later, but for now, we have Dark Magic to make use of. The first thing is Soothsaying.”

“Kind of like using Dark Magic to influence people’s minds, right?”

She nodded. “Exactly. Focus it into your throat and try speaking in a calming tone. I do not have much experience with it since it has been thousands of years since I even thought about using it, but I do believe that this will could be the most powerful weapon in your arsenal if you use it correctly.”

I nodded and tried giving it a shot. I could feel the familiar sensation of ashy warmth welling up from from my navel until it came into my throat. I tried to speak, but for some reason, I ended up coughing on the magic and expelled a little puff of dark grey smoke that was tinged with blue. Noir encouraged me to try again, so I gave it a few more goes. After about an hour of practicing, I tried again but this time I tried using the methods I’d learned from smoking copious amounts of grass to stop myself from choking again. Since I was expecting it, the feeling was easier to manage and I got a couple words out.

“Noir. Give me a hug.” I spoke softly.

Her eye twitched and she made the slightest movement toward me before she smiled. “Not terrible at all. In time you will be able to coerce most beings into doing as you ask, but I warn you to be careful with this power. I know that you have no plans to use it, but it will be useful to you at some point.”

I nodded. “I think I’ve got the gist of it. Should I keep practicing, or are we moving onto something else?”

Noir held her hand palm upward and closed her eyes. Moments later, a navy blue symbol that I recognized as Brimstone appeared in a circle. The only real difference was that the horizontal lines in the top part each had a smaller vertical line going through them, making six crosses on the thingy .

“This is my seal. By focusing your magic into your palm and projecting it upwards, you will find your own seal that you can use to brand certain objects or to enclose certain powers. Finding your seal is a simple enough feat, but using it is an entirely different matter as it takes some practice to get used to.”

“...That’s a demonic symbol in my world, blackberry.”

“I am nearly demonic in nature.” Noir replied simply. “I do like the new pet name, however.”

“Right. So should I give it a shot?”

“I would have told you if I did not want you to.”

I shrugged. “Fair enough.”

I closed my eyes and tried willing the magic into my palm. After a moment, I could feel my hand warm up and I started opening my eyes slightly so I could will the seal into existence. After a moment, smoke started rising from my hand and swirled into a vague shape, the image sharpening as I put more time into it. I had no idea how long I’d been trying, but when I got it to work, it looked something like a Star of David with overlapping lines, surrounded by a Celtic bands, but with grey tinged in a royal blue.

“Holy shit.” I whispered.

Noir beamed at me until she realized I wasn’t smiling. “Maximus, what is wrong?”

“I really am one of the chosen few... This is the Star of David, but I don’t get what the outline means.”

Noir perked up before frowning deeply. “The symbol of the Hebrew people. I understand its significance, but I cannot read your mind right now. Something more powerful than me is warding me away, blocking my access.”

Something struck my shoulder and I turned around to see what it was. An image of Morgan Freeman popped into my mind for some reason and I decided not to comment on it. “Yeah, I figured that might happen. If anything, that just cements what was in my journal.”

She nodded. “Indeed. I need not tell you to hold any comments indefinitely.”

“Exactly. So how do I use my seal? Can I just fling it at something, or can I charge it with an enchantment of some kind?”

Noir blinked and shook her head. “It still surprises me that you are so knowledgeable without ever having lived in a magical world. Yes, you can load it with certain commands such as ‘Wither’ or ‘Seal’, but you can also mark things with it using no magic. I have never tried ‘flinging’ my seal as you so delicately put it.”

I decided to give it a shot while it was still in my hand and threw it at a wall with all of my force behind it. I hurt my shoulder in doing so, but my hypothesis proved correct when I saw it stick and glow for a moment before settling in. I turned to Noir and she gave me a ‘not bad’ look.

“So I can fling it, but can I enchant it and then fling it?” I asked.

Noir imagined a humanoid target. “Give it a try. Focus your magic into the seal and throw it. Keep in mind that your enchantments can only affect certain things. Changing a person’s color, size, or using it to kill are all off of the table. You can, however, use it to make someone’s heart ‘Wither’ or erode their mind. There are precious few boons you can use it for unless you wish to be trained in True Magic, but even then, True Magic is far harder to use.”

“Don’t Celestia and Luna use True Magic or some shit to raise and lower the Sun and Moon?” I asked.

She gave me a look. “You do not truly believe that they can even hope to affect such things. No, they could turn the planet slightly faster, but it would take them a great deal of focus to do so.”

I shrugged. “In a world full of impossible shit, why would that be any less likely?”

Noir rolled her eyes. “Asides aside, try to fling your seal at the target.”

I shrugged again and tried focusing the word wither into my seal, trying to draw every definition of the word into my mind as I did so. I felt like it worked after about five minutes and threw it at the target. The seal felt something like a decent cricket ball; it was easy enough to throw, but once it moved in a direction, it kept going at the initial speed it was set, so when it smacked the construct in the face, its head jerked back and it stood there for a moment before it slowly fell to its knees. Once it fell backwards, Noir clapped a hand onto my shoulder.

“I knew your natural apropos for dark things would suit you well! I am proud of you, Max!” She gave me a warm hug that I returned after a moment.

“Good to know that the stains on my soul make me good at doing evil shit.” I chuckled.

Noir held me at length and frowned. “My magic may be dark, Max, but it is by no means evil. There are only evil people and differing versions of morality that constitute some things as evil. Soothsaying could be used for great misdeeds, but for good reasons, I am sure that you understand when and whom to use it on. Nothing in this world is inherently evil. Not even Discord.”

“I’m not saying that things are evil by nature, and you know me well enough to understand what I mean by that. Some things are just easier to use for evil, like necromancy. That, and to my knowledge, Dark Magic seems to be mostly offensive in some shape or form.”

“It is not all offensive.” Noir said, seeming hurt.

“That’s not what I’m saying. Why don’t you teach me how to mend wounds or something similar like typical white magic from my world?”

Noir pursed her lips. “The only way for you to heal another is to pump Dark Magic into their wounds, but that may drive them completely insane. You and I are some of the handful of beings that I know can use Dark Magic without the severe side effects.”

“Becoming an emotionless husk isn’t one of the severe ones?” I asked.

She sighed. “I can protect you from that most of the time, but…” Her eyes widened and she smacked her face with both hands. “I have just thought of something! What if you use your seal as an early indicator of your emotional distress? If you do not make it bind your power, but use it as an early warning system, you could easily recognize the issue before I notice anything!”

“So I just load it with the command to get hot or something if I start getting distant? That’s… That’s actually fucking brilliant. Two heads really are better than one.”

Noir beamed. “I am glad I could help, though I recommend using the cold to warn yourself. Heat hurts.” She rubbed her upper arm.

“I’ll be sure to do that when I go. Are there any more tricks you want to teach me?”

She shook her head. “There is precious little that you could not figure out on your own. If you want to experiment while you are here, I would be happy to guide you.”

“...The weaboo trash part of me wants to make a Rasengan.”

Noir gave me a look. “The Chidori suits you better.”

“Both make me want to chop my hands off so I’m not tempted. Can I store up Dark Magic into a thing or something so I can use it later? I should have asked earlier, but is there a limit to my power?”

“You can store your power into either sapphires or onyx in my experience, and in a manner of speaking, you can run out of magic. It would take either sealing a good deal of Celestia’s power or killing an ancient Dragon, but you can run out.”

I nodded. “So what happens if I do run out?”

“You will enter a coma for days on end. Not very conducive to winning a fight.”

“Right. Are you sure there’s nothing else I actually need?”

“Just keep your eyes open and do not die. If you ever become a Revenant, then you will be far more powerful, but there is no telling how it could change your mind. Your propensity for darkness could lead you to become a ruthless tyrant, or you could remain the same sarcastic man I have known and grown to love.”

“Aww, Joanie loves Chachi!” I grinned.

Noir rolled her eyes. “I will break your teeth with a steel toothpick.”

“Brutal…” I looked around for a moment. “So… Do you wanna cuddle or something?”

Noir beamed and we appeared in my old house. There was a new fashioned projector that was displaying the opening sequence to The Room on the wall and I groaned before Noir loaded up Nightmare on Elm Street. That was a lot better and a little ironic, but the part that made me laugh was when Noir tried to cuddle up to me like she was half her size. That gave me a few chuckles and she settled for putting her arm around me like she wore the pants in the relationship.

Speaking of Noir, she just told me that she does wear the pants. Sometimes I wish I couldn’t hear her bullshit.

We watched the movie, but neither of us were terribly scared by it, so we just got a chuckle at some of the gory scenes and left it at that. I took my leave from my mindscape while Noir was practicing playing pool and when I arrived back in reality, I had some more inspiration, so I wrote some more of the Midnight Stroll book. I was liking how it was turning out, all things said, but it struck me as a little odd that I couldn’t really find a place for a real love interest. I guess Midnight was just supposed to be a player of sorts.

Just as I was about to smoke my pipe, Rainbow came knocking at my door, asking if I had anything interesting for her to read. I lead her into my study after a few jibes, calling her an egghead, but she took the lumps with pride and said that there were worse things to be such as a dork like myself. I just rolled my eyes and asked if she wanted romance or adventure. She said a little bit of both, so I let her borrow A Single Breath and Midnight Stroll: A Mission for a Princess. Rainbow said that she’d already read A Single Breath since Twilight had ordered it, but that she hadn't gotten her hands on A Thousand Moments yet. I had a copy on hand, so I lent that to her and she started talking about how much she liked the author. She assumed that it was a female writing since the protagonist was female, but when I told her I wrote them under the pseudonym Emerald Eye she still didn’t believe me. I rolled my eyes at and lent the Midnight Stroll book to her too, though I was sure I wouldn’t see either for a month or more.

Rainbow asked me some questions about A Thousand Moments, like what I thought about the main love interest and his intentions with my protagonist, but I told her that I couldn’t really theorize because I already fucking knew where I was going with the story. Dash still didn’t believe that I’d written it, so I told her to ask Twilight and left it at that for the time being. She told me that she would and that lying had no purpose in the matter, but I maintained that I’d been honest and even offered to let her read the first few pages of the next Midnight Stroll book since I had published them under the same name. Once I showed Rainbow and she double checked to make sure that the books I’d let her borrow had the same author, she gushed about how much she’d fallen in love with A Single Breath and that she’d jilled off to it multiple times.

I didn’t need to hear that, so I told her to either put my pipe in her mouth or get the fuck out. She chose the intoxication route and filled her mouth with my pipe’s prodect before coughing the fucking bowl out. It was seriously gross, so I washed it out, dried it off and packed it again so we could have a proper smoke. I warned her not to hit it so hard, but Rainbow is dumb at the best of times and nearly did the same damn thing. She ended up sleeping on my couch for the rest of the night and I debated on waking her up to tell her that three of her friends had been fucked on said couch, but I wasn’t that much of a dick. I could’ve been, but I’m not.

I got her a blanket and went upstairs to look at myself in the mirror for a little bit. I wasn’t checking myself out, but I was looking for a good place to put my seal. I figured that it would look nice on on my left pectoral, so I focused on bringing it forth into my palm and stuck it to my chest once I’d gotten the terms of application set up. The first thing that I noticed was that it as if I’d shoved dry ice straight into my chest, but I couldn’t pull my hand away until it was over and done with. My jaw hurt from clamping it down so hard and my pec still felt awfully chilly, but after about thirty seconds, the pain faded and I was good to go. Come to think of it, it looked a lot like an oddly colored tattoo and when I paid more attention to it, the thing almost appeared as if the blue in it was glowing.

I put my shirt back on and located my Dragon Fire to send Twilight a message goodnight. I didn’t kiss the page, but I did spray some cologne and wave it through the mist so it would smell like me. She sent a reply a couple minutes later with a heart drawn on it and with that, I took my happy arse to bed, but for some odd reason, I could swear I heard howling from nowhere.