Author's Notes:

Here's some more stuff to read. Have fun.

Not much to say here. Like, comment, follow. Do those three things and your life will get slightly better.

Stay Cool, Kids.

Edit: Fucked up the Cobbler's name in later chapters, so I fixed it. A few other plot holes got plugged, a few run-ons ran short. Same stuff, different day

I missed my penis very much the morning after I had gotten everyone together. Twilight was being more like Twatlight, and Celestia had either forgotten or chose not to turn me back into a guy. Twilight was just being difficult, so there wasn’t much hope for me there, which meant that the only people I could really go to now were Celestia and Luna. After the numbness of the incident, Lupa and I had a long talk and we’re heading towards the ‘Fuck that Bitch’ camp, and I’m honestly glad that I won’t have to deal with her if I don’t want to. The level of betrayal she’d committed against me multiple times was just too much for me to remain by her side, and it’s thanks to Lupa that I see that now. Once I had gotten things explained to her, she told me that I was, firstly, an idiot, and secondly, a fool. I should have ditched her after my last fight, when I’d figured out that she was damaged beyond repair, when I found out her soul was black…

Radda radda radda. Or is it Yadda yadda yadda? I want some soup all of a sudden.

Still, as I sat in bed waiting for Lupa to wake up so I could bitch and moan some more about my luck, I thought about how shitty my relationship with Celestia was. We never saw each other, we fought most times we did see each other, and she was willing to let her sister eat popcorn and watch as we argued. As humorous as it might have been at the time, in hindsight, it was super fucked up. Getting rid of Celestia was probably going to end up as one of the best decisions I could have made in my long, long life.

Come to think of it, the only reason I hadn’t been content to just tell Celestia to fuck off was because I’m going to live for nearly two thousand fucking years. Yeah, I’m kinda pissed at her now, but I probably won’t be three centuries into my life, so it was nice to keep one of the hottest things on the planet as an option. It may not have been satisfying, but I feel like I handled the situation in the way that would benefit me most in the long run. Burning my bridge with Celestia would only fuck my life in Equestria up, and I still needed to get on Luna’s good side as best I could.

I sat up and scratched my head. Lupa probably felt me move because the next thing she did was occupy the space I had been. I swatted her hind leg on my way out of bed and she just farted like a proper lady. It reeked something fierce, so I vacated the room after cracking a window and grabbing my Dragon Fire. I used the little jar to send Luna a carefully worded note that got a near immediate response. In short, Celestia had told Luna what happened and Luna was actually on my side. She also reassured me that she wouldn’t kill me until I could rival her or Celestia one on one.

At least she was upfront about possibly murdering me.

Reading on, Luna explains that something like this has happened before, except the guy ended up killing himself and I wondered what the fuck he’d done that for. Celestia's hotter than a white dwarf star and a pretty great woman when she wasn’t trying to fix your life, but she wasn’t worth your life on her best day, unless you were her guard or something. It’s different when you swear your life to someone, but now I’m just rambling and I don’t want to cross these words out. Fuck. New Paragraph.

Luna and I exchanged notes a few more times and we’d come to an agreement. Tonight would be the night we try letting me police dreams, and she would let me kill her if I could make someone named ‘Discord’ or whatever wear a business suit for more than ten seconds. I didn’t know who that was, so it was a bet that I was willing to take if it meant I could have nearly infinite power, or whatever it is she and Celestia have. I’d read (And been told multiple times) that they raised and lowered the Sun and Moon, but I found it incredibly unlikely. It may have been a different planet, but the laws of reality still applied here. Newton’s laws work, and Celestia and Luna don’t have to continually lift their respective celestial bodies, so I found it very unlikely that they actually moved them. If they did have that level of magic, then there would be no point in playing political games. If either of them really wanted to, they could whip the world into shape on little more than a whim.

Celestia sent me a note soon after I finished with Luna, asking how I was doing. Just to be petty, I waited ten minutes to reply with a handful of words that didn’t amount to much. I knew how to fuck with someone using instant messaging, and it was about time I got some use out of that knowledge. My plan was to play passive aggressive hardball to judge just how sorry Celestia really was, and apparently she was pretty sorry. After an hour of replies that probably would have gotten my ass kicked back in England, Celestia was still trying to figure out how I was doing. Points for persistence and all, but I distinctly remembered telling her not to contact me. I was about to politely remind her of that once I got tired of dealing with her, but as I put pen to paper, she sent me two large envelopes and one more note. The note told me that I could cash the check she’d sent me in Canterlot, and that she thought we should meet while I was there. It also told me that the other envelope held a surprise that we could talk more about when I went to Canterlot.

I told her that I did not want the money. She told me it was payment for the assassination and that it was mine whether or not I myself cashed the check. She then threatened to double the amount and put it in my account without my approval, and I was so, so tempted to let her do it. In the end, I told her that I would accept the bits, though I didn’t know if meeting her was such a good idea. We’d only broken up last night, and I didn’t think I would be able to turn her down without Lupa to help me. Celestia assured me that our meeting would be as platonic as I cared for it to be, which was ominous. In any case, she had courteously backed me into a corner with the way she worded her notes, giving me the impression that I would lose her favor if I didn’t show up. All things said and done, I basically had a date with Celestia. Not how I was planning for the break-up to go, but whatever. As long as I stayed true to my convictions, I would be fine.

The morning had already kinda gone to shit, so I poured myself a double of Zap Apple Jack and prepared to face the rest of my day. After talking to Celestia and having her manipulate the conversation so greasily, I found myself in the shower posthaste. I honestly felt dirty, and I believe it was because the fog of love was fading fast. I was beginning to see more flaws in Celestia and I wondered how I could have been so blind to her evil, but hindsight is Twenty/Twenty and all I was doing was torturing myself. I tried to scrub my thoughts out of my skin, but getting clean doesn’t work like that.

Once I finished my shower, I told Celestia that I would let her know when I was coming to Canterlot, and she asked me to come today. I still had some sickly sweet love in my veins: I wasn’t willing to risk it. I told her no and she told me YES. Seriously, she used an entire piece of paper for one word. With little other choice, I took stock of my clothing and weapons and told Celestia to just fucking teleport me there so I wouldn’t have to waste time and money getting there and she asked me if I’d even opened either of the envelopes she’d sent me. I had not, so she told me to open them.

The first one I opened was a check for a lot of money. A lot of money. Like, I could buy several businesses in Canterlot, not use any of the income I got from them, and then still live like a king off of what I had left. Celestia had dumped a sizable chunk of change in my coffers, and all I could do was send her a little thank you note. She then told me to open the other envelope and it had three words written on it: Mayor, Baron, and Viscount. Celestia had told me to circle one and send the note back to her, so I went with Viscount since it sounded cool. I had no idea why she’d sent those words, but it sounded interesting, so I waited for her reply. When ten minutes had passed, I sent her another note and she teleported me into a room of some kind. It was quite garish if you ask me, and reeked of nobility, but not royalty. Wherever I was, it wasn’t the castle. I looked around for a moment and gathered that it was a sitting room, so I had a seat and waited.

Luckily, since I didn’t have to pretend to be someone else anymore, I had brought my pocket watch along with me. My favorite little trinket let me know that over an hour passed before Celestia showed up with a smile to beat all others. Immediately, my heart melted and started to ache, but I drew up my defenses and prepared myself.

“Max! Sorry to keep you waiting, but I’ve been getting your affairs in order.” She beamed.

“Thank you, but I want you to know that I still think this is a bad idea, Celestia. We need some time apart.”

Her smile fell a bit. “No, you need me out of your life, but I’ve decided that if I can’t have you as a lover I’ll have you as a friend!”

“...You just said that I need you out of my life.”

“It’s true. Which is why that, after this one little thing,” She pinched her fingers together, leaving the barest amount of space between them, “I’ll let you live your life, no questions asked. You will be the only Baron of your kind in Equestria.” Celestia said proudly.

I blinked. “Wait, what?”

She shrugged. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t get Luna to agree to Viscount. We settled on Baron for you right now, but if you manage Ponyville and it’s neighbor Cloudsdale well enough-”

“Wait, Celestia, I’m not nobility material. I don’t know the first thing about running a town or whatever. This won’t end well, I’m telling you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Do you know what the nobility here does? Nothing. Your life will effectively be the same, but you’ll have more respect from the ponies around you!”

“And I’ll have to swear some oath of fealty to you?”

Her smile came back. “Nope! You’ll swear loyalty to Equestria, but as a Baron, you can choose whether you want to serve the Dawn or the Dusk; myself, or Luna.”

“...And you’re just making this decision without my input?”

“I am. Trust me, Max-”

“You’re trying to buy me back.” I sighed. “It’s not going to work.”

Celestia scrunched her face up adorably, and I had to bite my cheek as punishment for that thought crime. “I’m not trying to buy you back. This is a sugar coated bribe to keep quiet about the mind wiping thing. I’ll leave you alone romantically. I only said what I said earlier to get back at you for breaking up with me.”

“That’s petty as fuck!”

“So were your responses!”

I crossed my arms and Celestia raised her brows at my chest. “Eyes are up here, twat.”

“I know where your eyes are. I’m allowed to look as long as I don’t touch, right?” She asked innocently.

I gave her a stern look. “Believe it or not, I am actually mad at you. Fucking with my head was betrayal on a whole other level, Celestia.”

That wiped the smile off of her face. “I thought so.” She nodded. “I shouldn’t have hoped that you’d be receptive so early. That was naive on my part.”

“Give me some time for the ache to fade and we’ll talk. Just stop trying to do stuff like… This. Don’t do this.”

“I owe you something, Max. If I’m going to stay out of your life, I at least want to know that you’re living comfortably.”

“I could have lived comfortably on the thirteen thousand or so odd bits that I already have, Celestia. Tripling that amount was just overkill.”

She pursed her lips. “That was actually proper pay for the job. Luna bumped up the reward after she failed.”

“...Okay. So you didn’t have to make me a Baron.”

“It’s more to keep any heat from nobility off of you. It would be worth your time to spend some time making connections in Canterlot, now that you’re one of them in title instead of just wealth.”

“How rich am I in comparison to the lead noble?”

“You’re a lower ranked noble right now, and after you get that check cashed, you’ll be around the middle. I hate the way the wealthy just get wealthier in my country, but if I change things, then it’ll make it that much harder for your average pony to make it.” She sighed.

“It’s hard to rule. It’s also hard for me to understand why I’d want to befriend a bunch of nobles.”

“Just give it time, dea- er, Max. I’m sure you’ll find a good reason soon enough.” The last part still made it sound like 'dear'. Dumbass

Celestia stood and kept smiling at me, so I asked, “What now? I’ve gotta go to the bank and I don’t know of any noble gatherings that I could attend or anything.”

“I will accompany you to the bank since you’re carrying such a large sum-”

“Celestia.” I warned.

She pursed her lips. “Right. I’ll have someone else go with you then.” She looked down. “Could I request something of you? A couple of questions is all.”

This oughta be good. “I’m listening.”

“I would like to request that you still not lay with Twilight.”

I lifted a brow. “Why not?”

Celestia hugged herself. “She’s the closest thing I have to a daughter right now. I don’t want to think of you stealing her innocence.”

“Twilight has already come on to me once. Am I supposed to tell her that I won’t accept her because her teacher doesn’t want me to?” I asked.

“...I suppose it’s unfair of me to ask that of you.”

“It is. It’s not really your business who I stick my dick in anymore.”

Celestia frowned. “You say that like you’re just going to sleep around.” I'll do as I please.

“I’m not a slut, Celestia. It’s just not your business.”

“Does that mean you’re going to sleep with Twilight regardless of my request?”

“You say that like you have ground to stand on. You’re the one who fucked up Celestia; you don’t get to dictate how I live my life.” I responded calmly.

“And you get to dictate how I live mine?”

“No, not when it doesn’t involve me. When have I tried to meddle in your personal affairs?”

Celestia looked down. “...I don’t really have much of a leg to stand on, do I?”

“No. You don’t.”

“...I’m still a princess, Max. At least show me the respect I’ve earned.”

“You were more than a princess to me, once. I already do respect you, Celestia, I just don’t like you.”

She inhaled deeply. “Fair enough. Fifty years and you’ll be crawling back to me.” I hope you break your fucking legs.

“I was thinking more like seventy five, but you can hope.”

She rolled her eyes. “So this is more of an extended separation than actually breaking up?”

“If that’s how you want to think of it.”

“I prefer that. You wouldn’t believe how much better that makes me feel.” Her smile returned. “I can do this. Fifty years isn’t long to wait for something worthwhile.”

Seventy five, bitch. “Thanks, but there’s something I need you to do during those years.”

“I still have more questions for you, so it’s only fair I hear you out.” Celestia said.

“Great. I need you to work on making friends and keeping them.” I said simply.

“Max, I know how to make and keep friends. I’m just immortal.”

“True, but I think it would help if you caught a refresher course for a little bit. Maybe it would teach you to keep your nose out of non-political business.” I suggested.

“Are you just going to take shots at me the entire time?”

“They kinda just keep slipping out. I told you I wasn’t happy with you.”

Celestia sighed and shook her head. “I do deserve it, but it’s strange to be in the wrong. Nevertheless, I need to get you to the Court Hall so I can get you sworn in as a Baron. I’ve wasted enough of your time as is.”

“Cool, let’s get this over with so I can be a guy again. Can we do that nowish?”

Celestia gave me a long, hard look. “I swore to myself that I would never alter you again last night.”

“...Don’t fuck with me here, mate. I’d like my penis back, please.”

“If I do not hold myself to my word, I am worthless, Max. Or should I say, Roxy?” She said with a smug grin. It was very subtle, but I knew Celestia well enough.

“Can you help me ask Luna to do it then? To correct your mistake since you can’t? It’ll probably give you some brownie points with her.” I offered.

Celestia seemed to take the bait. “I suppose that would only be fair. You’ve spent your week as a woman. How was it, by the way?”

“Wild, yet tame. Raw, yet refined. It’s really eye opening to walk with the other side and see things from their perspective. I don’t know if it was social pressure, my own stereotyping being subconsciously forced onto me, or if it’s just genetic, but I’m starting to see more parallels between my behavior and other women’s and it’s bothering me a bit. I don’t want to change who I am. I might be able to ‘relax’ as a female, but I’m never quite comfortable without the aid of intoxicants, and that’s really just no way to live. I think being in a woman’s body is going to either drive me insane or change me in ways I’m not comfortable with, and neither of those are options I like, which is why I asked you to turn me back.” I shrugged. “It’s been cool, but I’ll be happy to be a guy again.”

“If you could last another week from today, it’ll wear off on it’s own. It’s not a permanent spell.” She explained.

“Would your oath prevent you from weakening the spell at all?” I asked hopefully.

Celestia considered it for a moment. “I don’t think it would. I’m not even touching you with magic, I’m just draining the spell, so we’re in the clear. I can knock about four days off without dispelling the magic entirely.”

I held my hands up and closed my eyes. “Keep your hands off the goods.”

I could swear I heard her say some choice words under her breath, but the gentle hum of magic blocked out most of it. I opened my eyes and Celestia was standing a respectable distance away from me.

“Are you ready?” She asked.

“Would you be willing to submit to a lie detector if I had questions?”

Celestia threw her hands up “Where the buck did that come from?”

I managed to keep a straight face. “Did you or did you not Molestia me, Celestia.”

“Are you just being difficult for no reason?” She huffed.

“Did you touch me inappropriately while my eyes were closed?”

“We’re going to the Court Hall and you’re going to be quiet until we get there, okay?” She stated with authority.

I held my hands up. “Lead the way, pervert.”

Celestia grumbled, teleported us into the castle, and set a quick pace to our destination. With my legs significantly shorter than hers, I was lightly jogging to keep up and that just wasn’t fun with breasts. I eventually re-learned how to run and got along just fine after that, though Celestia gave me no time to do so. I had to admit, it tickled me a bit to see her so worked up after just a bit of light teasing. I wondered if I should bring it up in front of Luna, but I was sure that would make Celestia actually hate me, so I withheld that idea and put it in my ‘Full Retard’ drawer for later use. You never know when you need a cosmically stupid idea.

I followed Celestia to the hall outside of the actual Court Hall where Luna and a butler were waiting. Luna gave me a once over and changed me back into a guy without a word. She even changed my clothes into one of the outfits that Rarity had given me, which I thought was better than going in looking like a crossdresser, though I did wonder how she knew about my wardrobe. And when exactly did she learn about my silk boxers? The butler then lead me down a side hall that lead to the front. Once I was at the front of the Court Hall, The butler escorted me inside and Celestia was seated upon her throne. We had a small audience, and I couldn’t make out many familiar faces straight away.

The butler guy stood aside and I tried to make my posture look halfway decent. Thank god I wasn’t wearing heels or some shit, because I would have fallen on my arse enough to get Celestia to break her vow out of pity. Seriously, fuck heels. I surveyed the peanut gallery and found that I recognized this one fellow, a lightish blue stallion with a slightly darker blue mane. The woman beside him also seemed a bit familiar, but I couldn’t quite place them until it hit me: They were Twilight and Guard Captain Guy’s parents. So Twilight really did come from nobility. I had wondered.

When I got within a meter of the Dais, Celestia rose, so I kneeled. It seemed like the sensible thing to do, and my assumption appeared correct. I heard Celestia’s footsteps echo as she descended, each step as clear as a bell. I had been looking down until she stopped in front of me. Gingerly, she lifted my face until my eyes met hers, and within them I saw a certain light that scared me a little bit. I was completely at Celestia’s mercy right now, but I reasoned that fear away. I was always at Celestia’s mercy. I always have been.

I had barely finished that thought when Celestia said, “Maximus, Kingslayer, Sole Human of Equestria, Operative of the Crown, Honorary Guard-” That was news to me. “-and Advisor to not just the Princesses of Equestria, but to the Queen of Gryphonia.”

Okay, so two of those things were news to me. At my confused look, Celestia gave me one in return that said we’d talk about it later.

“Maximus, as a Princess of Equestria, I ask of you: Are you willing to use the resources at your disposal to aid Equestria when she calls?”

Okay, so I could see where this was going, but I was fucking stuck. I couldn’t deny Celestia in front of her court due to the massive slap in the face it would be perceived as. She had worked me into another corner, and I hadn’t even seen it. It took some doing to open my mouth enough not to hiss the words at her.

“I am.” I responded, livid.

Celestia sensed my frustration, but I only saw her face twitch for a moment, and it looked like she had been leaning towards sad, but that didn’t excuse what she was doing: Locking me into her country and effectively next to her whenever she so desired.

“Do you swear to uphold Equestria’s laws and values in the face of adversity?”

“I do.”

“Then by the power vested in me-” There was a clamoring. I could make out the words ‘third’ and ‘fealty’ since they were being thrown about quite often, but Celestia raised a hand to silence the nobles. “By the power vested in me, by Equestria’s people and the Crown, I hereby announce you, Maximus, as Baron of Ponyville!”

Celestia drew a sword from fuck knows where and effectively knighted me. When she was done doing that for some reason, she said, “Rise, Maximus, and may you serve Equestria to the best of your abilities.”

“I will, Princess.” I deadpanned.

I wasn’t sure what to do next, but I followed Celestia’s gaze behind me to find that some dude was walking down the red carpet with a long dagger on a pillow. When he stopped in front of me, I turned to Celestia and she nodded, so I picked up the half-meter dagger and drew it. I couldn’t help letting my jaw drop; it was beautiful in the way that it seemed to absorb any light that touched it. The pitch black blade had a space like quality to it, and it came razor sharp.

“I present to you, Maximus, the blade ‘Nacht’. As a Dusk Baron, may it guide and protect you through tumultuous times.”

I held the blade aloft and resisted the temptation to whistle. Instead, I held Nacht in both hands before bowing to Celestia. “I will use it for the sake of Equestria, whenever the time comes. Should you call for me, I will be there.” I said, trying to give a shit. I might stab you in the back with this very knife.

Celestia’s smile was dutifully faked and the Ceremony was over. I went around meeting nobles. The first ones that really caught my attention were this guy, Fancy Pants, and his incredibly hot wife, Fleur de Lis. They were the first to approach me after the little ceremony, and they were actually pretty cool for some filthy bourgeois. Fancy Pants invited me to a little ‘soiree’ he was having tomorrow, so I accepted as long as I could bring a friend along. He agreed to my terms after a long, hard second. After he and his wife had their turn, I met Twilight’s parents, which was awkward. Not for them, of course, but it was incredibly so for me. It isn’t exactly often I’m dating one of my mark’s kids, and the one time that it had happened before was already too many. Still, Twilight’s parents told me that they were going to visit Ponyville within the week and hoped that I would get a chance to see them while they were there. I told them that I’d love to meet them over a cup of tea, and thus they were off. A few of my encounters with the nobles were like that, but Twilight’s parents were the last pleasant folk I saw for some time. Most of the other nobles treated me with disdain since I was new to the fold, but I maintained a cordial attitude, despite wanting to bite my tongue off again just so I could spit blood in their faces. Fucking elitist pricks.

Once the Ceremony was over, there was a light brunch by way of celebration. That was when Celestia told me that my house was being demolished as we spoke, and that I would could stay in Canterlot for a few days while my new house was built. I was understandably pissed, but all of the nobles in the room thought that Celestia building a bigger house where my perfectly fine one had been was a fantastic idea. I slapped the hell out of Celestia’s leg with my tentacle when she told me that, but all she could do was grit her teeth and bare it.

Well, that lasted for all of six seconds. Next thing I knew, Some of Celestia’s own tentacles were touching my no-no zone, and they were getting a little tight for my tastes, so I wrapped Celestia’s midsection and started squeezing. We were both red in the face by the time we relented. Celestia had won, but she didn’t retaliate any further, so there was a plus.

Manipulating the aristocrats at brunch was fun when Celestia and I weren’t assaulting each other. I found that I could identify with women quite easily, so I befriended them faster than I did with most of the men when I shared a bit of gossip I’d heard from a maid earlier. Still, I managed to win the fellows over with some high brow jokes, so I already had a decent reputation as being a pleasant guy.

The brunch ended with Celestia wishing each of the guests a good day individually. That took forever, but she eventually turned back to me and nodded. Just as I was wondering why the Hell she had nodded, I felt some familiar weights on my chest and a tightness to my shirt. Thankfully I was wearing a belt, because I’m sure my pants would have fallen otherwise. I whipped around to glare daggers at Luna who was wearing a shit eating grin like no other.

“Happy Prank Day!” She shouted for no reason. I fucking hate you.

“Why? Why did you have to turn me back into a woman?” I asked softly.

“Because it is funny!” Luna gave me a hug and patted my back.

Maybe I was lucky, or maybe she was lucky, but either way, the punch I threw at her ribs met nothing but air. One of them had teleported me into Luna’s room, which was a mistake on their part. In the ten minutes I had, I turned the contents of her room into a pyramid on her bed. Luna walked through the door, just as I was trying to find a proper place for her vanity. I’d whipped around when she opened the door, so she was now looking at herself.

“Can’t be mad at yourself, now can you?”

Luna snapped her fingers and everything was restored to it’s proper place. “The spell will last a week. Celestia wants you to know that she is sorry for destroying your house, but we both assure you that your things have been kept as they were. With any luck, you’ll have a brand new home in three days with the 'round the clock magic crew Celestia has doing it.”

“I would have liked to know someone was planning on remodeling. Do you understand how frustrating it is for someone to literally tear your home down because they can?”

“Yes, actually, and they didn’t build me a new one, let alone a better one, so shut up.”

“Okay, might have been getting a bit whiney there.”

“A bit. Still, you are welcome to stay here-”

“Nah, just teleport me to Twilight’s.”

“...Okay? Are you sure you do not want to stay in the castle?”

“So Celestia can try to win me back some more? Not happening.”

“You do know that she does feel terrible for manipulating you, don’t you?”

“I do know, but I don’t care. See how that works when you fuck someone real good, but not in the nice way?”

“I suppose I do, though your colloquialisms make it difficult to understand.”

“Eh. Can I go home now?”

“Do you want to cash your check?” She asked.

“Can you have someone do that for me? I don’t feel like dealing with that bullshit when I can just have you send me home.”

“It will be done within the hour. Have you any more requests?”

“Don’t kill me?” I asked genuinely.

Luna waved and hand, and the next thing I know, I’m standing directly in front of Twilight. She fell back on her arse, so I gave her and a hand up and asked, “You okay there, Twilight? It’s like you don’t have people teleporting into your house all the time or something.”

“Well, I usually don’t, R- er, Max.” She answered.

“Look, sweetie, as long as I have a vagina, you can call me Roxy.” I patted her shoulder. “That aside, I need a favor.”

“I’m not allowed to change you back, Princess Luna said so! Not that I would have. Having you around as a girl means that we can do so much more together!” She beamed.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t born as a woman, Twilight. I’m not comfortable as one, and I’m not terribly fond of finding out if I have a womb.”

Twilight blushed. “W-Why wouldn’t you have one?”

I shook my head. “I’m hoping I don’t have one. The human equivalent of estrus is terrible and gross as fuck.”

“Well, if you’ve only been a mare for a week and you only have a week ahead of you, you should be fine. If Luna doesn’t turn you back I promise I will. I know the spell well enough.” Twilight remarked.

“Please do. Being a girl is cool and all, but I miss being a dude.”

Twilight gave me a sincere smile. “I’m sure you do, Roxy. Is there anything else I can do?”

“Can I stay here for a bit? Celestia is tearing my house down.”

Twilight blinked. “Well, sure, but why is the Princess tearing your house down?”

“She made me a Baron or something, so she thought I needed a bigger house or some shit. I was perfectly fine with what I had, thank you very much.”

“...Max, you have to be rich to be a Baron. I mean, if you go destitute as one, you keep your title, but you have to have a considerable number of bits to even be considered to be a Baron!”

“Yeah, I’m super loaded, babe. Marry me and your great grandchildren will die rich.” I said with a grin.

“Do you even know how much you have?”

“I have a decent idea. I met your parents, by the way.”

Twilight blinked again. She blinks all the time, but it usually doesn’t signal surprise. “You met my parents?”

“Yeah, I did. Lovely folk, if I may say so. Very pleasant for aristocrats.”

“Wow. You really do know a lot of ponies in lot of places.”

“It’s how I operate. I like to know a little bit about everything, just in case that knowledge is ever relevant. Not unlike how you like to know a lot about anything.”

“I have a healthy scholarly appetite, thank you very much!” She huffed.

“If books were food, you’d be the size of Steven Magnet, just not in that shape.”

“Roxy!”

I gave her a hug. “I’m just having some fun, Twilight, no need to be upset!”

“I’m not, you’re just funnier when you’re a girl.” Twilight said.

“Ouch, maybe it’s because I learned to stop before I actually make you mad?”

“Or maybe I’m coming around to you.” Twilight grinned and headed off to the kitchen.

We sat and talked for a while before Fluttershy came by. She was surprised to see that I was still a woman and told me that a bunch of dudes had come and torn my house down, and now they were building something else. I explained that little incident to her and she offered to let me stay at her place for one of my days away. I was pretty sure that she just wanted to have me to herself for a day, and I was perfectly fine with that. I figured that I could stay at Twilight’s tonight, Fluttershy’s tomorrow, then Twilight’s again because I like variety. With that settled, Twilight dragged me to go shopping with her since I didn’t have any clothes again. I was still dressed as a dude from the Baron Ceremony thing, so I was pretty happy to get out of the ill fitting garb.

I deviated from my usual wardrobe choices and bought some things in dark green this time. According to Twilight and Fluttershy, everything i got worked with my eyes, so I had that going for me at least, Their giggles as I tried on clothes didn’t help, however, so I ended up molesting Twilight with my tentacle buddy and she stopped laughing. Sometimes you have to play dirty to come out on top, but it’s also just fun.

Once we finished up with shopping the second time, Fluttershy had Twilight and I follow her back to her cabin so we could try this new tea that she got from her supplier. I may not have mentioned it before, but Fluttershy tends to keep exotic or interesting tea on stock. She usually only pulls things out of her vault for small gatherings of three or so people so that there’s enough to go around and so that the tea actually gets noticed. I agreed with her on the importance of enjoying the flavor, so it was kind of our thing, though I was happy that Twilight could join in on the fun. Since she wasn’t retarded and had a good tongue for caffeinated beverages, Twilight made a fine addition to the Tea Team.

Fluttershy brought out something called ‘Friend Leaf’ that was aptly named. Each tea leaf clung to another in small clumps, and I wondered how exactly they did that. Fluttershy didn’t know, and Twilight was more of a coffee person, so it hadn’t really come up in her studies, thus we had an unsolved mystery that had no impact on anything.

The tea was good and the company was nice, though I was feeling pretty worn out. Despite the tea, I was feeling rather weary, and I wasn’t sure if it was from Celestia’s bullshit or if I just needed a break. Seeing as how it was most likely both, there was little that I could do about it beyond suck it up, so that’s what I did. Never let it be said that I can’t keep things moving.

After a few hours, Twilight and I made our departure from Fluttershy’s and I was pretty talked out. There was really only one thing on my mind, and I needed a stiff drink to make it go away, so I tried to tell Twilight that I would catch up with her in a moment, but she followed me to the liquor store anyway. She bought a bottle of wine for herself and I ended up getting the 'Local Special' like I had planned on the last time I was here. The little snake inside was still flittering about, and when I asked Twilight about what it was, she told me that it was a special kind of magical snake that’s hardy enough to live just about anywhere. They were a little on the rare side, but since they were so hard to eat, they didn’t have many natural predators. They could survive on fruit or ethanol, which was cool, though that did mean that I’d basically be buying a pet along with my drink. At least it was a relatively tiny snake, only about ten centimeters or so long.

We didn’t talk much on the way back home, but when we got back to her place, Twilight asked, “So is there any particular reason you’re drinking tonight?” She set her wine down on an inn table near her couch.

“Yep.” I answered honestly.

“...Are you going to share that reason?”

“I broke up with Celestia for a while because she made some drastic mistakes. I’m coming to terms with those mistakes and not being able to call her ‘mine’ anymore, though I never really could say that she was anyways. It was always the other way around.”

“You broke up with Princess Celestia?” Twilight asked incredulously.

“The mistakes were pretty bad, but I can’t really talk to you about them. Just know that I didn’t come to any harm because of them.” A lie, but a kind one.

“If you didn’t get hurt, you wouldn’t be hurt, so you wouldn’t be drinking. What did she do to you, Roxy?”

“Can’t say, sweetie.” I sat down on the couch and Twilight sat next to me. “As much as I’d love to get it off of my chest, it’s too much to burden you with.”

“Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help?”

“I wouldn’t complain if you let me borrow your shoulder for a bit.”

Twilight smiled, so I put my head on her lap because fuck you. “That’s not my shoulder.” She commented.

“It’s the soft bit near a large joint. I’m happy where I am.”

I couldn’t see it, but I felt Twilight shake her head in awe of my powerful logic. Thankfully, she was kind enough to let me have her lap for a while, so that was nice. Twilight gently combed through my waves of follicles while I relaxed, and we talked about random things. I asked Twilight silly questions that I never expected a cohesive answer to, and she thought of a loop hole.

“Hey Roxy, what if you don’t talk about what Celestia did to you?” She asked out of nowhere.

“I thought that was what we were doing.” I answered.

“That is what we’re doing, but what if we just talked about the way it made you feel? That’s not off limits, right?”

“I love having smart friends every once in a while.”

“Hey!”

“It’s your own fault. Where should I begin?” I lifted my head up and rolled over so that I was looking up at Twilight. “I guess I feel betrayed, even though I expected her to pull something on this scale at some point. I feel like every one I trust eventually turns on me, but I know that’s not true, though that doesn’t mean I can help the way I feel. I’m mad that Celestia made things get to this point, and that I didn’t break things off sooner.”

“Why do you feel betrayed if you were expecting it?” Twilight inquired carefully.

“I guess I expected it in a different way. It was kinda thrown in my face out of nowhere. I knew that she had the capacity and the willingness to do something of the sort, I just… I hoped that she wouldn’t do it to me.”

“It’s tough when a loved one hurts you, but sometimes it’s just better to let them go and see if they learn from their mistakes. If the Princess can’t fulfill the role you need her to, then it’s better than you two go your separate ways for now.”

“That’s pretty perceptive of you, Twilight. Very wise.” I complimented.

“Thank you. Now why do you think you feel like you can’t trust any pony?” She asked.

“...That one’s a little harder to answer. It’s a combination of things, really. Celestia’s betrayal, Applejack breaking her promise to never hurt me again, Rarity and Fluttershy being so willing to go after Applejack-”

“Wait, I can understand Applejack and Princess Celestia since they hurt you, but I don’t understand Rarity and Fluttershy.”

“Well, if they were so willing to turn on someone who’s been friends with them far longer than I have, what’s stopping them from turning on me?”

“...That’s fair I suppose. I’d like to say that you need to be more careful with who you trust, but the ponies you’re having trouble with are ponies that I would entrust my life to. What about your anger? Why are you mad that you didn’t end your relationship with the Princess earlier?”

“You’re really not going to want to hear this one, Twilight.”

“I think you’ve earned a friendly ear. You’ve been through a lot, Roxy, and I don’t want you to feel like you can’t come to me with anything that’s on your mind. If that means I hear some unpleasant things about ponies I like, then so be it. We’re friends, and it’s my duty and privilege as your friend to hear you out, no matter what!”

I reached up and booped Twilight’s nose while she was staring off into the abyss. “That’s very sweet of you, Twilight. If I can, I’ll come talk to you about my problems over a cup of tea or a drink, depending on the situation.”

“Well, If it’s a drink you want, I suggest we stick to the wine. I’ve never heard any fun stories about the Local Special.” Twilight started separating locks of my hair with magic.

I watched as she began to weave them together. I tried to emulate what she was doing with my telekinesis, but my control was just too poor when I split it into different pieces for me to get anywhere fast, though I did succeed in spooking Twilight.

She dropped her magic and started, lifting my head from her lap. “What was that!?” She cried, whipping her head around.

“It was me, sweetie, don’t worry. I was trying to braid your hair, but I don’t think I can.”

“...Roxy, I could see your hands the entire time.”

I tapped her nose with my tentacle and she blinked. “I guess I forgot to tell you that I got more than a little endurance from the time I died.”

Twilight’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “What do you mean? I know you said that you were as tough as a pony now, but what else did you get?”

“I’m actually about as strong as a pegasus or a unicorn. I’m on the weaker side of the Pony spectrum, but I won’t die in like, two hits now. As far as the other stuff I got, I’ll probably live for about two thousand more years and I have some insane perception, as well as a boosted healing factor.”

“...You’re practically immortal?”

“Not really. Celestia and Luna are practically immortal. I’ll just live longer than most.” A lot longer, actually.

“Alright.” Twilight rubbed her chin. “What about the perception thing? What does that let you do?”

“It allows me to pick up on body language more easily, sounds, sight related details, smells, stuff that you use your five senses for, It even gives me a bit of a sixth one.”

“You mean kind of like Pinkie’s ‘Pinkie Sense’?”

“Kinda. It’s more like a feeling of foreboding than twitches or stuff like that. It doesn’t always work, but it has done me some favors in the past.”

“That’s actually pretty neat. I thought you had gotten super powers or something.” Twilight smiled.

“Well, I kinda did. I’m practically a human lie detector, I heal faster than most creatures and can probably regenerate fingers and stuff on top of having some pretty powerful telekinesis.”

“When you put it like that, you make it sound like dying was worth it.”

“I’m pretty sure I went to Hell when I did, so I don’t think so.”

Twilight didn’t know what hell was, so I explained it to her, along with the concept of religion, heaven, worship, deities in general, and the impact that religion had on human life. Of course, I had to mention the Crusades and the Spanish Inquisition. I hadn’t thought to include the Inquisition, but it just popped in my head out of nowhere, so I went along with it and told Twilight as much as I could.

Since Twilight was pretty nocturnal, I stayed up with her and browsed her books some more. I was making some decent headway into a book about this one chaos king or something that ruled thousands of years ago when Twilight told me that it was bed time. To fuck with her, I quickly changed into my sleepwear and hid under her bed, waiting for her to finish up herself. I heard her mattress depress, so I carefully crawled out from underneath it and gingerly crept my way into her bed. Surprised that Twilight hadn’t noticed, I waited for her to realize that she had company, but soon heard her breathing even out, signalling her journey to Dreamland. I could either enjoy having a nap with Twilight, or I could fuck off and not be weird, so I went with the less creepy option and lamented the loss of a good prank.

I went to the guest room that Twilight had loaned me oh so long ago and laid in bed for way too long, left alone with my thoughts once more. Instead of possibly fucking up whatever emotional balance I had at the moment, I decided that I was going to free my little snake and have myself a sip of something strong. It turned out to be more that a sip, and I was having more fun than usual with the drink. I could see geometric patterns splaying themselves across the walls, constantly moving and warping around whatever they touched. On one hand, It was like being in a net that covered everything, but on the other, there were distinct fractures in the lines that gave the impression of a wallpaper that wasn’t quite applied correctly.

In other words, I was tripping shit.

I wandered around Twilight’s library and just checked things out for a while. Minutes of inspection turned into hours of curious hypothesizing. I’d maintained a steady intake of my snake shine, so I was still experiencing some intense visuals, and I had been having audio distortions for some time. I kept my head on the level and watched as outlines and shades of people passed me by while I sat on the couch. Occasionally, they waved or made a hand gesture to me, so I waved back, despite knowing that they weren’t real. My rational left brain and my whimsical right brain were warring over whether or not I should just kick back and go with the flow, or if I should investigate what was going on and record it so I could share it with Twilight. I decided to record it, and by the time I had written my fill, the sun was up and Spike was making breakfast.

With my new little buddy coiled up between my mammaries, I went to go see if I could help Spike with breakfast, but when I went into the kitchen to ask if he needed help, I saw him walk in with a trail of afterimages behind him. I stood in the doorway and watched as he left trails of himself all over the kitchen, waiting for him to notice me. Then, all of a sudden, The images started fading and so did Spike, so I went back into the living room to find that the sun hadn’t actually risen. A little freaked out, I went back to the guest room and laid down for the while, letting my snake wriggle around my fingers. I hadn’t actually tried talking to it, so I said, “Hey, little buddy, can you talk?”

It slid down my hand and wound itself into a spiral on my chest, so I took that as a no. I couldn’t sleep, despite the buzz I had going, so I was stuck for something to do. I flipped on the light and checked my pocket watch. I still had two hours before dawn, and nothing to do before then, so I went back to finish the book I had been reading, but found that the words on the pages danced too much for me to actually read them. Bored out of my gourd, I settled for drawing pictures, even though I have no artistic talent whatsoever. Still, I tried to make a decent sketch of Ponyville at night, but it was a complete failure, so I just let it be.

After two hours of non-stop, heart pounding boredom, I got my morning bullshit done, wrote Twilight a note that I left outside her door, and started making my way over to Fluttershy’s house. The walk over there had me passing Applejack, but I didn’t really feel like talking to her. As my best friend, I held her to a higher standard than most ponies, and she had let me down pretty hard. Just because we had a nonaggression thing going on right now didn’t mean that I didn’t want to sever one of her hooves. Or both. Fuck it, let’s makes us a Ponified slug with blood for goo.

Violent fantasies aside, we didn't say anything to each other and we kept it moving. While I was not happy with her at the moment, she still deserves commendation for her maturity in comparison to her friends. Most of them would have tried to approach me to make things better whenever they saw me, but Applejack knew that I would come to her when I was ready, and that chipped off a bit of the cement block on my shoulder.

Nothing else happened on the way there because it was early as shit, what did you expect? I only passed Applejack because she gets up early as shit too, but that didn’t explain why I passed her on the way to Fluttershy’s. I thought about it for a moment and tried to remember as much as I could about our brief encounter. It was a little past the fork in the road where her road and Fluttershy’s connected, and I couldn’t think of any reason for her to be there this early She was definitely coming from Fluttershy’s, but why she had been there eluded me. It may have been none of my business, but I was curious.

I got to Fluttershy’s and thankfully she was already up and outside. After a brief greeting, I started helping her with her animals because it’s always a fun thing to do. I have a certain appreciation for animals that I make sure is well noted among of Fluttershy’s creatures, and they happen to be fond of me sneaking them an extra treat every now and again, so our relationship works out pretty well when I’m on Fluttershy’s good side.

Once we were finished with the feeding and whatnot, Fluttershy hesitated to bring me in, so I asked, “Hey Flutters, did you commit sex on Applejack?”

She looked at me. “What does that even mean?”

I stepped within arms reach of her and stared into her eyes. “Did you sex the apple?”

“What? Are you asking if I had… ‘Quality time’ with Applejack?”

My tongue parted my lips and I grabbed her face gently. “Did you sex the Apple?”

“Roxy, you’re really starting to freak me out.”

I gave her some space. “Sorry, got carried away. Is that a yes, though?”

Fluttershy stroked her mane. “Well, yes?”

“Okay, just curious. I saw her coming from this way and I wondered why she’d make the extra walk. I shouldn’t have wondered, I already know you’re worth it.” I flattered.

It totally worked, if Fluttershy’s blush was anything to go by. I let the topic end there and picked up a new one, but I was a little miffed with Fluttershy. Literally the day before, she had been ready to lynch the bitch, but here she was jamming her tongue in places where it probably shouldn’t go. I’m not a doctor or anything, but I don’t think mouth to ass contact is sanitary.

Other than that little piece of bullshit, my visit with Fluttershy went well, though I may have hurt her feelings when I told her that I didn’t want to cuddle. It just felt… Wrong, though I did eventually give in because I didn’t want to make things awkward. I knew that Fluttershy was her own woman, and that our relationship was open, but I would have liked to know that she and Applejack had a thing going on. It made me feel a bit alienated from Fluttershy, but I still went through the motions because that’s what I’m expected to do.

While in Fluttershy’s bed, wearing fewer clothes than I would have liked, I thought about how detached I was becoming. The most I was feeling at any given point was either mild enjoyment or some form of pain, so I started wondering about the point of it all. Why should I even force myself to do anything I don’t want to? I already know that I’m going to have to in the millennia to come, so why make myself miserable now?

I looked into Fluttershy’s eyes and searched for an answer I couldn’t find, but I hadn’t realized that I’d basically been staring at the girl. She waved a hand in front of my face after a moment and asked me what was wrong. I lied through my teeth and told her that I was just lost in her eyes. She didn’t buy it for a moment, but she acquiesced anyway, much to my pleasure.

I lazed around with Fluttershy until she had the bright idea to go visit Pinkie. I tried to keep my visits to that woman to a minimum, but I was Fluttershy’s for the day, and I was still tripping my fucking balls off, so why not? I walked with Fluttershy over to Sugarcube Corner and ordered a vanilla shake. Fluttershy had wanted to ask for Pinkie at the counter, but I told her to wait for a few moments. Once we had our shit, I tapped on the napkin container twice Pinkie came right around the corner.

“You rang?” She asked innocently.

“I did. Do you have time to spend with some friends?” I responded.

“Sure! I was just about to go see what Twilight was up to, if you girls wanna join me!”

I lifted a brow at Fluttershy. “We’ll join you.” She said for me.

And so it was decided. Pinkie waited around for Fluttershy and I to finish our shakes, then we went to go see the purple one. Fluttershy and Pinkie babbled to each other the entire way there, occasionally including me in their conversation. I was stuck in my head and the moderate visuals I was still experiencing, so I wasn’t exactly the best conversation partner at the moment. Nevertheless, we got to Twilight’s, had tea, and I got a note from Luna asking why I hadn’t gone to sleep last night. I told her that it had just been one of those nights and asked if we could reschedule for tonight. Luna found it to be acceptable, and so the plan was remade.

For some odd reason, I wasn’t tired at all, despite my growing disinterest in the happenings around me. I just wanted to go home and lie down for a while, but that comfort was in the process of being reconstructed, so I was shit out of luck. The girls picked up on my waning energy, so Fluttershy took me back to her place and had me try and sleep to no avail. We ended up going bavk to Twilight’s and had her try a spell that was supposed to give the subject restful sleep for about seven hours. I didn’t really care whether it worked or not, so when it did, I was pleasantly surprised. Well, about seven hours after the fact, that is.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next few days were a slog. I burned the next two days being immeasurably depressed, though I tried not to let it show I ended up sending Fancy Pants an apology instead of going to his thing, and he wrote back that he understood. Life just felt like it was too tedious to bear, and none of the activities that the girls came up with had the spark to them. I even tried fucking Fluttershy senseless one night, but even after hours of sex that was probably more meaningful to her than to me, there just wasn’t anything left there for me.

When the the day came that my house was supposed to be complete, the girls got together and helped me buy some random stuff that would help fill the place. No one had seen it yet since they didn’t want to ruin the surprise, so seeing it loom in the distance made me stop for a moment. The girls gasped when we got a more complete picture, and Rainbow was absolutely bursting with energy, ready to get inside and give it a goosy gander. Thankfully, she stayed with the group, so we were all together when we got to my new place.

The house was fucking massive. Two tall concrete pillars stood watch over the huge double doors in front of us and I was kind of just ready to be done with it. Still, the large windows and decorative shutters were a nice touch. Without wanting to wait anymore, I opened the doors to my new house and lead the way down the entry hall, which was rather spartan. There were a few knick knacks that I would inspect in further detail, but a cursory glance showed them to be nothing more than tasteful decorum. Once we exited the entry hall, we came into what had to be my living room. My old furniture had been joined by a lot of new pieces that matched quite well, and a lot of the art that was on display reminded me of something I would buy. We walked in further and saw that there was a tall fireplace with a crackling, magical fire in it.

We didn’t get to explore much further on our own because of a woman that had been creeping in my kitchen. She was a sheep with thick wool and a sharp pant suit that told me she was all about the business. Between her choice of attire and demeanor, I had no hope that this woman would be any kind of pleasant. Once we came into her line of sight, she approached us.

“Hello. Which one of you is Maximus?”

I waved a hand. “That would be me. Who might you be?”

She extended a hand. “I am Cotton Ball. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Maximus.”

I shook the proffered hand. “Pleasure’s all mine. Can I help you at all, Miss Cotton Ball?”

“No, that would be unnecessary. I am here to guide you around your home.” She said curtly.

I gestured for her to lead the way and so she did. We started on the first floor and learned that I had a day room, a parlour with a piano inside, a large pantry that was attached to the kitchen, and an open kitchen that had an island sitting between it and the living room. Everything was very chic, if you ask me. I probably wouldn’t ever bother to change anything about it, so it was good that I found it satisfactory. Besides the kitchen, living room, day room, and parlour, I had a few guest rooms downstairs, which Fluttershy and Pinkie claimed as theirs for the night. Once we had everything put away in the kitchen, Cotton ball showed around the rest of the house. I had feared that it was three stories from what I had seen on the outside, but I was happy to see that it was only two very tall floors. The second floor was mostly guest rooms that were more extravagant than my old master bedroom had been, though I did have an observatory on the back wall. I had no idea how it had only taken four days to do all of this, but I was mildly pleased with the result.

Rarity, Rainbow, and Twilight grabbed three of the remaining guest rooms and we continued on to my room. The master bedroom was fucking enormous I swear, I could make a lap around the room and be out of breath by the time I got back. The real oddity about my room was the fact that it was neatly divided in half. From the fluffy, four post, canopy bed, on either side was a swatch of either purple or blue things. The purple items were generally feminine, and the blue were masculine, which lead me to believe that Celestia had designed my room with my alternate identity in mind. While the most of the girls marvelled at the softness of my bed and the quality of most of my bedroom furniture, Twilight and I were taking notes from Cotton Ball. A maid would come by every so often and clean the place for me since I didn’t want to have staff living in my house. I was made aware of the fact that I would need a steward, so I asked the smartest person I knew to handle my accounts. Twilight agreed, as long as I promised to go with her to visit her parents sometime. I reminded her that her parents were actually supposed to be in town later today and she told me that they had cancelled, unfortunately. It was a shame, I would have enjoyed getting to know Twilight’s parents better.

As it was, I needed to meet my three staff members, but they wouldn’t be here until tomorrow, so I lead the girls back downstairs and it was agreed that we would have another slumber party, though there was an unspoken question: Should we invite Applejack? Twilight and Pinkie were with me when I stated that we were all still friends, despite what she had done, and they were even with me when I said that I had no intention of talking to her. Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Rarity were all of the opinion that Applejack didn’t deserve an invite, but since it was my house, I pulled rank and sent her a note with Dragon Fire. Apparently Spike was nearby, because about ten minutes later, she sent me a very sloppily written note that told me that she was too ashamed to face me.

My spirits lifted a little.

While my good mood was lasting, I tried to get the girls to have a naked pillow fight, but they considered themselves above such wonderful things. Still, I was feeling better for all the wrong reasons, and I knew that. Maybe a part of me just liked that I was the one inflicting pain on someone else, but in any case, it was fucked up for me to feel good about Applejack’s guilt. It didn’t stop me from acting like I actually wanted to be somewhere for once, though.

This slumber party was going much like the last one, but without anyone to keep pace with my drinking, I had to slow down before I looked like an alcoholic in front of the girls. Luckily, I had brought my snake shine with me from Twilight’s, so I was giggling like mad, tripping absolute balls by the third hour. The girls accepted it as a welcome change in my behavior, so it turned out okay, and I must say that adding weed to snake shine makes the world real pretty.

After some hours I don’t remember too well, I woke up on Rarity’s lap, alone in the vastness of my new living room. I sat up gingerly, my head aching slightly and looked around. Rarity was knocked out, so I was willing to bet that she had babysat me while the other girls continued the party. The ornate clock on my fireplace told me that it was a few minutes past midnight, which filled me with certainty that the girls were up, so I got off of my lazy arse and started trying to find them. As it turns out, they were in my parlour, playing Never Have I Ever, and my arrival was welcomed, though they did giggle when I sat down. It was then that I noticed my shirt was on backwards, so I adjusted it to the appropriate position and asked, “So what happened before I ended up on Rarity’s lap?

“Well, after you smoked some of the weed I brought, you kinda went crazy.” Twilight chuckled. “You started walking around, touching everything, and then you played hide and seek for a while because you thought Princess Luna was after you!”

“She is after me, but I shouldn’t have freaked out about it. Sorry you had to see that.”

“Roxy, what do you mean?” Fluttershy asked.

“I thought blacking out for a few hours was something worth apologizing for?”

“No, about Luna. What did you say?”

“Oh, I said that she really is after me, but not in a way that will affect me any time within the next hundred or so years, so I’m good.” I gave her a wink and a grin. “Don’t worry your pretty little heads, I’ll be fine.”

“What about after that?” Twilight asked.

“Well, I guess we just hope that I can make Luna like me enough to let me live.”

Pinkie giggled. “It’ll be okay! Most ponies don’t live that long anyway!”

I traded a look with Twilight and subtly shook my head. She ignored my look and said, “Roxy will live that long.”

“So do humans live longer than ponies or something? Because I thought a hundred years was pretty good.” Rainbow piped in.

Twilight looked to me to explain, so I rolled my eyes and said, “It’s not that humans just live longer, it's that I died. When I died, I got some powers. One of those powers was a boosted healing factor that makes me heal faster and live longer.”

“Dude, you have superpowers!?” Rainbow exclaimed.

“Chill, they’re pretty lame, which is why I haven’t mentioned them at all.” I shrugged. “I didn’t get anything particularly good.”

“But what all did you get?” Fluttershy asked.

“In short, advanced perception, a healing factor, and one other that I don’t want to share since it’ll do me more good if I keep it quiet.” I responded.

“Didn’t you tell and show me?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, but no one else would have known that if you didn’t say anything. A lot of the things I told you don’t leave that conversation, sweetie.”

Twilight nodded her assent and with my distraction dealt with, the game began again. I learned some interesting things about the girls, like that Fluttershy had been a naughty little girl in her teen years, and that Twilight had kissed everyone in the group at least once while not on a dare or playing spin the bottle. I also learned that Rainbow had given some thought to what I’d be like be like in the sack, though she wasn’t exactly eager to give me a shot. I couldn’t be mad, after all; how could I be offended when the feeling was mutual?

The game continued long into the night, and when the Sun came up, everyone headed to bed. I sent Luna a note, apologizing for not sleeping tonight either, but there was precious little I could do about it. I had already stayed up through the night, and I wasn’t feeling sleepy in the slightest, so it isn’t like I could make up the time or catch her on the tail end of things. I still felt a little bad about flaking on her two nights in a row. She sent me a note five minutes later, asking if I was alone. Since I was wandering around my abode, I told her yes and she popped in right next to me. I didn’t bother to stop since that was quite rude, if I do say so myself.

“Hullo, Lulu. What brings you to my humble abode?” I asked magnanimously.

“It would seem you’ve been having trouble sleeping.” She said, walking with me.

“I have, no thanks to your sister or Applejack. My mind’s been awfully busy in the past few days, just spinning with the sweet sting of betrayal from the two people I trusted most on this planet.”

“Tis a tough aliment to swallow, but I’m sure that you will find yourself wiser for having gone through it.”

“I’m thinking that it’s mostly just making me detached. It’s hard to care about much right now.” I commented.

“Understandable. One learns to live through the apathy in time, and eventually you might even find something worthy of your attention. For Celestia, she was meant to lead through peace and found solace in warping societal values into what you see today. For myself, it was conquering, one way or another.”

“It must be frustrating.” I said.

“It is. Countries we have been at war with for years are now tenuous allies, and the Equestrian army is better equipped and generally more trained than most other countries, which means that we could rule the world if we felt the desire to and nopony could stop us.” Luna made a face. “Celly has made the world boring and obnoxious, though I do feel that she has done her best “

“Cheer up, at least you’re still one of the world’s strongest entities.”

“What good is strength if you never test your limits? In all honesty, I would settle for being less powerful if it meant I could feel the thrill of battle once , but sadly, these times prevent me from obtaining what I desire.”

“Have you tried filling the void with some meaningless sex? Meaningful works better, but you have to take what you can get sometimes.”

Luna snorted. “If the void could be filled with intercourse, then Celestia and I would be known across the world for very different reasons than the current ones.”

I chuckled. “If anything could fill the void, there wouldn’t be any reason to console anyone. You either let time fill it in on it’s own, or you find something to cover up the cracks so you can go on about your day.”

“Hopefully we will find something or somepony that can help you heal. It does us no favors if you are unable to perform your duties.”

“Thanks for the concern, but I’ve got this. I kinda have to, there aren’t many people I can discuss my mind with.”

“Perhaps I could lend you a friendly ear? Despite your status as one of my agents, I do consider you to be a friend.” Luna crossed her arms.

“Despite your status as the bluest princess, I also consider you a friend. Actually, the being blue bit probably helps more than it hurts.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m glad that my coat is to your liking, but I am warning you now that your flirtations will get you nowhere.”

“I don’t want it to get me anywhere. I’m perfectly happy being miserable in my unnecessarily large home.”

“You say that now, but I don’t believe it will be long before you are begging to take another job for Equestria.”

“Speaking of, am I going to get another mission any time soon? I’d rather have notice in advance, just in case I have to bail on the girls.”

Luna shook her head. “You care about hurting their feelings, but not about how dangerous your next mission may be?”

“Oh, I care, I just don’t see the point in worrying over it. Whatever happens will happen, and if that means my luck runs out one night and I’m hanged for my crimes, then so be it.” I remarked.

“It sounds like you don’t care to me.”

“You’re mistaking acceptance for apathy, though they are easy to confuse.”

“I have not met many ponies that would confuse the two, and I have met even fewer during my time in the modern age that do not fear death.”

“How many times do I have to tell you guys? I’m not a pony, never have been, and I never will be with any luck.”

Luna fell silent while we skirted around the perimeter of my place Our stroll around the premises had turned into a bit of a tour, though there wasn’t much in the way of guiding going on. We were mostly just meandering about, and I was waiting for Luna to fucking spit it out. After another circuit around the house, I lost my patience.

“Look, Luna, you obviously have something on your mind. If you promise not to kill me, I could lend a friendly ear.”

“Friendship on a conditional basis? That does not sound like true friendship.”

“Well, I would hope real friends wouldn’t try to kill each other.”

Luna sighed. “Just because I can end you does not mean that I will. For one who does not fear death, you are trying terribly hard to avoid it.”

I gave her a look. “Oi, just because I’m not scared doesn’t mean I want to rushing in face first to my demise. I might not be enjoying my life very much at the moment, but it’s the only one I have, and I’m nothing if not frugal with my precious things.”

“One loses sight of how precious individual lives are over time, so I cannot say that I feel the same. When you see as many lives pass as I have, it takes something special to give your life value over others.”

“Sounds kinda arrogant if you ask me. Care to elaborate?”

She nodded. “I do. I mean that my life would hold no value without Celestia.”

“So you live because dying would kill her?”

“In a manner of speaking. I live so she does not have to feel more pain than necessary, even though she seems to invite it to tea whenever a day is going well.”

“Good thing you never invite me to tea then. I’d say I’ve already had my fill, but I know that I’ve got a few more years of distilled bullshit to wade through, and they’ll be chock full of it.”

We took our tour upstairs and kept talking. Luna asked me about the girls, though I don’t really know why. She seemed particularly curious about Applejack for some reason, but I hoped that it was just idle curiosity. If Luna wanted to battle with Celestia over the Elements, then that’s their business. Hell, I don’t even know what the Elements of Harmony are even supposed to do! It’s not like their lives were interrupted with Element business like, ever, and honestly, they were a little bit shit at what they were supposed to be masters of. Pinkie gets depressed over nothing, Rainbow Dash was too reckless and aggressive for most people to bother to get closer to her, and Rarity was a fucking business woman, so she couldn’t afford to be very generous unless she didn’t mind taking a hit to profits. Twilight was pretty much fine. Her Element is Magic and she does it well so there’s not much I could say there, but I can say that Fluttershy’s brand of Kindness makes me feel like I’m trapped, and that Applejack’s Element of Honesty was not very fitting for her.

I asked Luna what exactly it was that the Elements did, and she told me that it was their duty as sworn protectors of Equestria to solve specific problems, though she didn't elaborate on what kinds of problems. I knew that the girls had freed Luna from the clutches of Nightmare Moon using their powers, but it just didn’t make sense to me. Without a proper explanation, I just chalked it up to more of magic’s nonsense and kept on going.

After some more walking and talking, I asked Luna if she would like to stay for breakfast, and she agreed after a moment’s hesitation. I didn’t comment on it and focused on making food. The grocery shopping I had done with the girls had been a good idea, and since we had gotten plenty of random shit, there were plenty of options, so I went with mini omelettes and tiny pancakes. Luna watched as I worked and was quite helpful whenever I asked her to rummage through my shit to find some of my kitchen utensils and a couple of skill. Between paying attention to where Luna was getting shit from and getting my pancakes done, we were working like a well oiled machine in the kitchen. Rarity was the first to join us, oddly enough, so I asked her if she wouldn’t mind helping me with breakfast since she’s the better chef. She happily agreed, though she basically assumed control right after. Without anything else to do, I had Luna teach me the proper way to set up silverware and shit, which was as boring as I’d thought it would be.

Between myself, Rarity, and Luna, we got breakfast finished without a hitch, but now we had to wait for the rest of my guests to get their sleepy asses out of bed. In the meantime, Luna thought it would be… amusing, if she and Rarity explained some of the finer points of being a Baron to me. It was boring as fuck. I tried to pay attention, but without any real desire to an aristocrat, it didn’t really make that much of a difference to me. I suppose it was a productive way to waste an hour, but the only the only thing I really got out of it was that I was going to have to officiate some shit on occasion, though Mayor Mare would be handling most of the town’s goings on. Technically, I have final say in what goes on in Ponyville within reason, but there’s no way in Hell I would ever use that to my advantage, let alone abuse it. Don’t get me wrong; I love power. I like having it, and I like using it, but that’s why I avoid getting it in the first place. I know myself well enough, and I’m just shy of certain that I would use it whenever I didn’t feel like dealing with the consequences of my actions.

I hadn’t really given that much thought to my new title, come to think of it. I mean, Celestia kind of just threw it at me without warning, and there wasn’t much that I could do about it. I didn’t really want to be an aristocratic prick, rather than the normal, everyday kinda prick that I usually am I don’t need a title for anything, so it’s frustrating to think that I might be thrown into Equestrian politics when the only involvement I desire is when it comes to my specific skill set. I’m not the most diplomatic person, as most people around here are well aware of that fact, but I’m even less pleasant when I’m being forced to do something I don’t want to. Luckily, Rarity and Luna assured me that as a Baron, I’m only a few steps above Mayor Mare, so she’ll be handling everything. My title is basically worthless when it comes to anything other than official business. I suppose I could use it to browbeat some filthy plebeians or some lower ranking fuckers, but that’s just not my style. Well, other than that one time with Macintosh, but that was a special case, and it didn’t work anyways.

Still, I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about the events that were unraveling. On one hand, I could throw one Hell of a house party if I ever felt like it, but on the other hand, I was officially one of the upper class arseholes that I despised so much. By the end of whatever the fuck Luna and Rarity were talking about, I had accepted my fate and was prepared to deal with it as it came. I had been paying a little attention to what they were saying, but I had to ask them to repeat a few things. Once I had a pretty decent picture of what I’d be doing, I relaxed. Barring the death of the Mayor, I was free to do as I pleased within reason.

It did mean that I was going to have to start wearing the clothes that Rarity made for me instead of my usual casual stuff. Thankfully, the town cobbler and I were well acquainted at this point, so having him make me some dress shoes that I could tuck a few knives into wouldn’t be that hard. Cobble Pot had already patched my boots up multiple times, and his quick work saved me from blisters when I had originally turned into a woman. Come to think of it, I don’t’ve ever mentioned the guy, which only goes to show that it’s the people behind the scenes that matter most.

Rarity and Luna talked about some of the goings on in Canterlot while I wrote out a note to Cobble, and Fluttershy came out to play. I warmed the skillet up for her and made some more pancakes because I’m a gracious host, and she looked like she was still half asleep. It was too adorable when she started to nod off while eating. A few times, she got awfully close before Rarity could catch her with some magic.

Was it wrong for me to have hoped that Fluttershy would face plant into her meal?

Twilight, Rainbow and Pinkie started coming down stairs around three in the afternoon, but I didn’t feel like making breakfast anymore, so they got cheese and egg sandwiches because Fluttershy was being nice. Surprisingly, Luna was still here and she was mingling with the girls pretty decently. Of course they showed her the ‘proper’ amount of respect, but it seemed like they were pretty comfortable around her, save for Fluttershy and Pinkie. Pinkie was just being a fool and Fluttershy is a bit of a coward when it comes to the day to day stuff. If you needed her to save a friend, she would pull through, but would run crying from a scarecrow.

The day was predominantly spent faffing about in my house. We had everything we needed since the girls had brought their own personal effects along with them, and I didn’t need to do anything besides shift some of my shit around. I was a little worried about how empty the house would feel since it really was far larger than I would ever need, barring some freak accident of some kind. I have to admit, I was surprised that Luna stayed as long as she did and that she got along with the girls at all. I’d figured that her station as a princess would give her some jitters about making friends, but Luna seemed to do well enough.

Twilight, Pinkie, and Rainbow all went home around seven thirty for reasons I’m not too concerned with. Fluttershy, Rarity, and Luna stayed behind to keep talking about my new position as Baron, but there wasn’t much that was said that hadn’t been covered earlier. I was going to have to go meet Mayor Mare again when I was back to my male form, which should have been tomorrow, but luckily, Luna felt like being nice. One quick spell later, and I was back to my testosterone fueled version of normalcy, though I severely needed to change clothes. In the wake of some very hurtful laughter, I returned in some pajamas because my entire day was already gone.

Luna didn’t care for my antics, though I saw the ghost of a smile on her face. Spending the day with her had shown me a lot about the way she acted around other people. While she wasn’t exactly relaxed, she wasn’t as tense as she usually was, and I took that as a compliment to my home and company. Hell, with enough time, even Fluttershy stopped being afraid of Luna and even invited her to the next party slash gathering that the girls were planning. I noted that I wasn’t invited, but I assumed that it was because I was already supposed to go. That, or the girls only wanted fellow females at the party. Either way, I wasn’t terribly offended. Some things are just better off being gender specific. After all, I would have a hard time seeing any of my old mates going to anything less than a kegger or the like, let alone a tame slumber party.

I did notice an immediate change in the way Fluttershy and Rarity talked to me, however. They seemed more nervous, like they were expecting me to lash out or judge them for something, so I tried to put their fears at ease by being as nice as ‘Max’ as I was as ‘Roxy’. It didn’t work all that well, but I couldn’t think of any other way to get Rarity and Fluttershy to chill out. Thankfully, the newfound awkwardness didn’t last much longer since Fluttershy left a soon after I changed back. Luna was next to go, though the Sun had set some time ago, which left me and Rarity.

After Luna teleported out of my living room so rudely, I asked, “So what do you want to talk about, bonny?”

Rarity looked at me in surprise. “How did you know I wanted to talk?”

“You stayed behind after everyone else left. So far, the only time any of you girls do that is when you want to talk. So let’s get to it, yeah?”

“Right. I just wanted to ask how you were feeling about becoming a… Well, you know…” She steepled her fingers.

“A noble? To be honest with you Rarity, I’m not happy about it. I was perfectly fine in my medium sized house, being a somewhat normal Royal Operative. My life wasn’t perfect, but it was nice, and I saw no reason to change that. However, Celestia thinks that a spoonful of power is going to make everything right between us.” I snorted. “If that’s all it took, then she wouldn’t want me as a lover anyways. I’d be evil as shit.”

“... I don’t think I’ve ever imagined that a pony would be upset about joining the ranks of nobility.” Rarity said softly.

“Most ponies don’t hate the upper class like I do. In England and in Canterlot, I’ve seen too many examples of the corrupting influence of power. I’ll admit, for a long time, I thought I could handle it, but that was when I was a teenager. I thought I knew everything. Now, I’m old enough to know that I’ll get poisoned by power too if I’m not careful, which is why I don’t intend on using my newfound influence at all unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

“...Max, you know it’s my dream to join the ranks of the nobility! How could you say such things?”

“Because that’s honestly how I feel, Rarity. It’s not like you have to be the same kind of noble as I plan on being. You’re your own person, and you’ll do as you please. Don’t let my hesitation stall your progress.”

“But… Max, you’re wise for your age sometimes, and I can’t help but feel like this is one of those times. I just… How do you deal with learning that your dream will eventually change you into something you don’t want to be? Even if I could ignore what you said, I can't ignore what Princess Luna said. I-I…” She seemed to be at a loss for words.

I took up a seat next to Rarity and held her hand. “Look, bonny, I can’t tell you how you should live your life. If it’s your dream to be a noble, then pursue it. It’s just that being a noble includes more than you might be prepared for, so if I can help you in anyway with the connections I get, then I will. I just want you to answer one question for me.”

Rarity looked at me. “I’ll answer your question, but I don’t want your help, Max. This is something that I need to do for myself, using my own tools.”

I nodded. “I can respect that. Rarity, what do you know about love poison?”

“I know that it makes whoever takes it fall in love, but beyond that, very little. What makes you ask about that in particular?” She cocked her head to the side.

“Nothing major, just something Celestia told me.”

“Oh, well, I suppose that the Princess wouldn’t steer you wrong.”

I didn’t say anything to that, but I did nod. Celestia would happily control my every step if she could, but I didn’t have to tell Rarity that. We fell silent after that little exchange so I asked, “Is there something else I can help you with? It’s not like you to play coy. Well, it’s not usually something you do with me, at least.”

“Oh, I wasn’t even aware! My apologies darling, I was just wondering since you’re back in the correct body if you’d mind giving me a massage, perhaps?” She said with a little smile.

(CTRL+F ‘Scene is Over’ To Skip)

I knew where this was going, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Granted that Celestia had told me that Rarity effectively raped me, a part of me wasn’t too keen about being kind in anyway shape or form to a rapist. Then again, I wasn’t sure how much of Celestia’s ‘truth’ I could trust, so I needed to take her words with a grain of salt. On one hand, it would serve Celestia to start working away at the trust I have with my friends, but on the other hand, Celestia generally seemed genuinely concerned about my well being, which makes me wonder why she didn’t annihilate Rarity for forcing her man to have sex with her in the first place. There were a lot of things that didn’t add up with what Celestia had told me, so I agreed because I wanted to see what Rarity was like.

Luckily, Cotton Ball had left me a ledger that told me where a lot of things were. Apparently, Celestia had taken note of the plant that I’d had in my shed and had made a garden out back for them, which I found fucking hilarious. I’d never told her what I’d put in the brownies I’d sent her oh so long ago, and now I had plenty of resources to fuck life up for the castle staff if I wanted to. Rarity noted that I had an evil grin on my face, so I told her that I was just happy about something small.

With a little more digging, I found that the massage table that I’d kept in the shed was now in the cellar that I had yet to visit. I took Rarity down there to help me look, and the place was sparkling like it was new because, well, it was. I had so much wine it doesn’t even make sense. If I ever felt like being an alcoholic, I had a good start down there. I checked the ledger that was set on a shelf near the wine racks and gave it a cursory gander. My wine from the Everfree was all in one place, set aside from the rest, so I let Rarity pick from the other bottles. She ended up going with something red and sweet, so I grabbed the table and we went up to my room for some privacy.

Rarity assisted me with the table and I sent her off to go find a robe or something so we could get started before she died of old age. After sticking her tongue out at me, I browsed the ludicrous amount of scented oils that were in my unnecessarily large bathroom. I picked a few that I thought Rarity would like and one that I was rather fond of before setting them out on the table. Rarity returned a few minutes later, clad in a violet robe that I hadn’t known I possessed.

“Are you ready to get started?” I asked casually.

“I am, but it would appear that you are not. I can’t lay down on all these bottles!” Rarity said.

I rolled my eyes. “They’re there for you to pick from, bonny.”

She flustered. “Of course I knew that!” She looked through my selections and went with the bottle that I thought she would like most, a nice vanilla/jasmine combination.

Rarity passed the bottle off to me and I cleared the rest of her choices from the table. I turned around to let Rarity have some most likely unneeded privacy and only faced her again when I heard her give me the signal. Much to my surprise, she had left her undergarments on, so I covered her positively perfect posterior with a towel.

“Are you sure you don’t want to take your bra off?” I asked. “I’ll do my best to avoid it, but I don’t know if the oil will ruin it or not.”

“I assure you, darling, if I was worried, I would have taken it off. Are you sure you’re not asking for your own benefit?” She asked cheekily.

“Of course I’m asking for my own benefit, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t also be concerned about your personal items, does it?”

I could sense the eye rolling going on, though I didn’t see it. “Whatever you say, darling. Now, if you’re done talking, I’m ready.” She said in a singsongy voice.

I shook my head and started lathering her shoulders with oil, being careful not to let too much of the oil come in contact with her livery. It was a bit of challenge, but I did well enough. Once I had the oil in place, I started working away at her muscles, but there wasn’t much for me to go after. Rarity took good enough care of herself that the massage was pretty much pointless, and I was feeling a bit confused since my earlier suspicions had been put to rest rather quickly, which left me with one question: Why the Hell am I rubbing on Rarity if I’m not getting laid?

Still, I continued doing my best to rub Rarity the right way, and the compliments she gave me were enough impetus to keep me going. By the time I finished with her lower back and moved on to her legs my hands smelled wonderful, so I let myself get lost in the smell, though I started to notice another one creeping it's way in. It reminded me a bit of toasted marshmallows, and from the situation I found myself in, I guessed that it was the scent of Rarity’s arousal. My guess proved correct when I leaned over to reach the oil. The scent hit me in the nose like a freight train, and I had to take a moment to clear my head. Now that I knew what pheromones could do, I was careful to think about every action.

“Are you going to continue, or shall I find somepony else to finish the job?” Rarity jibed.

“Just taking a moment to gather myself, bonny. You could have warned me, you know.” I said.

Rarity froze. “Warn you of what, darling?”

“Are you in estrus right now?”

Rarity’s hair flew as her head whipped around to face me. “How did you know?” She asked, surprised.

“I can smell something that isn’t the massage oil.” I gave her a cheeky grin. “You should have said something before, unless you were trying to use your pheromones to close the deal?”

“Well, to be honest with you, I forgot that you were affected by a mare’s pheromones. I didn’t mention it because I didn’t think it was that important…”

“In the future, just give me a wink or something. I’m not fond of being caught off guard.” I started working her legs again.

“Well, if it’s all the same to you, I think I would prefer it if we didn’t speak on this subject. A mare’s natural cycle isn’t something to speak to a stallion about.”

I stopped abruptly and walked around, squatting to look her in the eye. “Rarity, I have been a woman. Seriously, breasts, lady parts, everything. You know this. I’ve heard you girls talk about things I’ll never repeat, and I don’t know why you think that estrus has to be any different. Just because I’m back to my normal male self doesn’t mean that Roxy is gone, sweetie.”

Rarity flinched. “It’s… It’s odd to think that you and Roxy are one in the same. You acted so differently when you were her…”

“It’s because I wanted to try being nicer to you girls, or at least, that’s what the end result was once I got past the whole ‘prank’ thing. Roxy and Max are the same person, Rarity. One is just me as I am, and the other was me trying something new.”

“...So you’re saying that Roxy was an experiment?”

I pursed my lips and waved my hand in a ‘kinda sorta’ gesture. “In a manner of speaking. I guess you could say that. Being Roxy let me see that you girls would be more comfortable around one of your own, and it showed me that I missed a lot of bonding time with you girls.” I stood and walked back to where I had been standing before and picked up where I left off.

“Well that’s to be expected! There’s just… There’s a divide between stallions and mares that just can’t be bridged-”

“I don’t need an explanation, bonny. I get it.” I said with a chuckle.

“It just feels… Wrong, I suppose. Treating a pony differently because of their gender just seems barbaric!”

“It’s just the way things are, Rares. You could always try to invite me to feminine stuff while I’m a guy, but I doubt that I’d be very comfortable.”

Rarity considered that for a moment. “Well, what if we had Twilight use the gender reversal spell whenever we have something that you’re interested in? It would be temporary and you could still have fun with us!”

“...That actually sounds like a good compromise. I don’t mind being female for a short period of time, as long as I know I’ll get turned back.” That wasn’t a lie. I wouldn’t mind being Roxy for the duration of a party or an outing, with the caveat that Twilight promises to turn me back when we’re finished with whatever we’re doing.

Rarity purred as I stroked a little higher on her thighs. “Careful there, darling. One might think you have obscene intentions if you go much higher.”

I added a little more oil to my hands and challenged her by touching her bottom with my next pass. “If you doubt my intentions, feel free to ask any time. I wouldn’t lie to you over something like that.”

She hummed for a moment and looked back at me. “I’m curious, What would you lie about? Would you be honest about that?”

She didn’t tell me to stop, so I continued what I was doing. “I would and I’ll prove it by telling you that I would lie for the sake of a joke or a prank, as long as I know it won’t hurt someone. I would lie if Celestia asked me to, though that’s not really the case now… I suppose I hold some secrets because it’s just easier on the people around me.”

“Oh really? Secrets like what?” Rarity sighed.

“If I told you, I wouldn’t really be doing my job, now would I?” I chuckled. I debated telling her about what Celestia told me, but that would only create complications when there doesn’t need to be any.

“Oh, but it would make you so much more interesting, dear.” She said dreamily.

“Being the only being of my kind on the planet and dying twice hasn’t made me interesting?”

Rarity’s eyes shot open and she rolled over onto her side. “Twice?”

Shit. “Well, one and a half. In my world, we rounded up.”

She gave me a look. “Are you sure that’s what you meant? This isn’t one of the things Celestia asked you to lie about, is it?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure that’s what I meant, and no, she didn’t ask me to lie about how many times I’ve died. Can I go back to molesting you under the guise of a sensual massage?”

Rarity huffed and flopped back over. “While we’re on the subject, could you help me with my brazier? It’s beginning to get a bit uncomfortable.”

I picked the towel that had been covering her bottom and wiped my hands off. “With pleasure.” After I did as she asked, I started over with her shoulders.

Rarity went back to sighing and I went back to trying to avoid poking her with my mini me. It was a task that took some attention, and I’ll admit that I failed a few times, but I was mostly successful. Rarity just so happened to feel the need to lean into me whenever I did poke her, so I eventually stopped caring and just let it happen whenever it did, though I may have helped every once in awhile.

I firmly caressed the contours of Rarity’s back and sides, finding that I was enjoying myself. I didn’t mind giving massages as long as there was some hope for release at the end, but that pretty much put an end to any plans to be a masseuse. In any case, Rarity was enjoying my ministrations and I was having fun in all the right ways, so I was content to continue, though Rarity had other ideas.

“You know, I think you’ve been getting progressively bolder while we’ve been enjoying our time together.” Rarity commented.

My hands were on her arse at the moment, so I couldn’t say much. “I don’t believe you’re complaining.”

“Oh believe me, darling, I’m not. I’m just wondering-” She stopped as I hooked my fingers around the waist of her knickers.

“You were saying?” I asked nonchalantly.

“I was saying that I was wondering if you would mind being a bit more assertive.”

I grinned as I pulled her panties down. “I can be assertive, I just don’t want to overstep any boundaries.”

Rarity lifted her hips and I pulled them the rest of the way off. “Gentlecolt-like tendencies run deep I suppose.”

She gasped as I grabbed her bottom. “They’re only tendencies, bonny. I’m still a charming rogue, after all.”

Magic enveloped hands and I looked to Rarity in confusion. “Oh how often I’ve heard of the dashing rogue, come to steal the lady’s virtue! If only I had somepony with less than ideal morals to fill the role for me!”

She released my hands and fluttered her eyelashes at me coquettishly. It wasn’t needed at all since I’d already planned on making Rarity turn into marshmallow flavoured jelly in the coming hours, but I suppose if she wanted to roleplay, I could oblige.

“What fair lady would this rogue despoil?” I stroked the inside of Rarity’s thigh and she purred. “I see no proper ladies here, only a cunning vixen who’s about to receive her just desserts.”

“Vixen or not, I don’t believe you’re in the mood to be choosey, now are you?” Rarity reached back and brushed my hand away before sitting up. “Be a dear and run the bath, will you?”

I stared at her for a moment before shaking my head. “I better be half of the people in this bath.”

“Of course! Now run along.” She shooed me away, so I grabbed the towel I’d thrown over my shoulder and threw it at her.

Since I’m such a nice guy and I wanted to get laid, I fucked around with the immense thing that is my bath. It was tastefully made out of cut stone, but my main problem with it was that I could practically swim in the thing if I felt like it. I had a shower in the room as well, but I had always been fond of a good bath on occasion, and was pretty sure that I would be getting some use out of it in the future. I ran some hot water and wondered if I also had some bath related bullcrap in my multitude of cabinets, so I checked. I did have some bath bombs, so I grabbed a jasmine one and popped it in once the tub was full.

Rarity’s timing was impeccable. She came in just as the bath bomb was working it's magic, though I wondered how she managed to put her hair up without any pins. My attention was less on her hair, however, and much more centered around the area below. Rarity knew she had plenty to show off and did so very well, making me forget that I was supposed to get in the water too.

“As fond as I am of bathing while clothed, I don’t think now is the time, darling.” She gave me a mischievous smile and helped relieve me of my shirt. The rest of my apparel followed soon after and within moments, Rarity and I were relaxing in bliss.

Rarity had chosen to sit on top of me during our bath, and I couldn’t help but be thankful for my lifelong friend. He’d gotten me through some tough times, and I think he was feeling the love, nestled between Rarity’s thighs. She leaned back against my chest, leaving me with a faceful of hair and no small amount of contentment. My heart sped up when Rarity rose from the bath and gave me a dirty grin, her hand clasped around my member.

“Do be a dear and help me with this, won’t you?” She asked coyly.

After a moment, I realized that she wasn’t joking and helped her find her own entrance. I guessed that it was a new position for her, so I was happy to help out. Once I had found my target, Rarity eased herself onto me and moaned. Her silky smooth folds gripped me in all the right ways, and I was eager for more, though I was willing to let Rarity set the pace. When she didn’t move, I took it upon myself to start thrusting and was rewarded by Rarity’s coos of pleasure.

I took my time and kept a slow pace for a few minutes. The water sloshed about, but luckily the tub was deep enough that I didn’t have to worry about cleaning up any spills afterward. What I was worried about was the state Rarity seemed to be in. She’d melted in my arms and seemed to give in to whatever I’d had planned. It was fun ad all, but I didn’t like the idea of finishing in a tub, so I kept going, knowing that I could stop before that point came.

Speaking of, Rarity had a few small orgasms, but I was building up for a big one if I could get her out of the tub. I withdrew from Rarity and she pouted for a moment, but I suggested that we take our activities to my bed so we could really enjoy ourselves. She reluctantly agreed and dried us both instantaneously with a spell. I praised the conveniences of magic before sweeping Rarity off of her hooves and carrying her to my bed. It was a bit of a walk, but I had plenty of motivation, and Rarity had been thrilled, so it was worth it.

After carefully setting Rarity down, the ravishing I’d promised began anew. Within minutes of actually being able to thrust, Rarity had an orgasm larger than those from before. I wondered if she’d just never had a decent man, but cast the thought aside in favor of focusing on the beautiful woman that was beneath me. Then on top of me. Rarity wasn’t very good at riding, but what she lacked in skill she made up for in enthusiasm

For some odd reason, I wasn’t very close to climaxing, even though we had been at it for nearly an hour. I tried to relax and let go, but nothing was happening and Rarity was tiring fast, so I may or may not have faked it (again) so she could rest.

(CTRL+F ‘Scene is Over’ To Skip)

I laid in bed with Rarity’s head on my chest and wondered what had gone wrong. Maybe I was just getting too good at sex? In any case, I tried to banish the thought from my mind and get some rest so I could deal with my day.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I woke up early again that morning, so I got my journals caught up and made breakfast. I needed to go find Lupa and speak to Mayor Mare today, so I couldn’t wait around all day for Rarity to get out of bed, so I cobbled together something nice and left her a note before I headed out to get my day over with.

Lupa was my top priority and was more likely to be active around eight in the morning, despite her lazy streak. I walked over to Fluttershy’s and nothing happened. When I got there, I was greeted by Fluttershy and she told me that Lupa was in the Everfree for the next few days, so I gave her a hug and a kiss before I left. Since Lupa had fucked off without telling me again, I was a little frustrated with her. I knew she was a free spirit, but that didn’t mean she had to disregard my feelings entirely.

Pupper problems aside, the day was shaping up to be a chilly one. I was glad that Rarity had included some semi-formal jackets to go along with my wardrobe, though I did think they were a little much. I had been tempted to just wear my normal attire, but today was one for official business, not leisure. The outfit I had chosen was all well and good, but I still felt like a bit of a pompous prick in it.

My attire attracted some attention as I walked through town. No one said anything to me, but I could feel that I was garnering more attention than usual, and it felt pretty gross. I don’t like attracting attention; it means that I’m noticeable and being noticeable is a good way to attract unwanted attention. It wasn’t a problem here in Ponyville, but I was ready to be off of the streets anyway. I walked through the Town Square to the Town Hall and spoke to the receptionist for a moment. The pleasant woman let me know that the Mayor wasn’t busy at the moment and to knock before I went in.

Once I reached the Mayor’s room, I cracked the door open just a smidge so I would know what I was walking in on if I chose not to knock. I could see the Mayor behind her desk, leaning back, but I couldn’t see what was going on below the desk. It was probably a good thing, so I closed the door and knocked. I heard a flurry of movement from within and had to hold back a chuckle.

“Come in!” The Mayor said after a moment.

I killed the grin on my face and let myself in. Her office was about as large as my study and smelled heavily of caramel and cream, though I was willing to bet that it was because of the Mayor’s earlier activities. That, and the blush on her cheeks told me that the middle aged mare had been up to some naughty business before I walked in. The Mayor was probably around forty or so by the looks of her, but she carried her years very well. She may have been in her fifties, but ponies did tend to appear pretty youthful until they hit sixty or so. As it was, the Mayor appeared to be a bit of a milf. She had nice, full breasts and when she stood, I could see some nice hips to go along with them. My thing for authority figures kicked in immediately and I wondered if I could persuade her to have some fun while I was there.

I crossed the room and sat in the seat across from her desk. “Sorry love, am I interrupting something?” I asked with a straight face.

“No, not at all! What can I do for you…?” The Mayor asked with a tight smile.

“Maximus, though most people just call me Max. It’s nice to meet you, Mayor Mare.”

Her eyes widened. “So you're Maximus! Princess Celestia told me that I would meet you soon, and here you are! Let me tell you, it’s about time Ponyville got a Baron of its own!” She reached over her desk and offered her hand.

I shook it. “I’m sure it’s been tough without one so far, though I can’t say I’ll be much help. All anyone has told me so far is that my job is to sit and look pretty.”

“Well, that’s one way to put the contents of your job, but another is that you’re a very vital part of Ponyville growing as a town! With a Baron, we can actually expand!” She beamed.

“Glad to hear that my very presence is a boon. Most women don’t tell me that until after I’ve done something nice.”

“...I’m sure you hear that often then.” The Mayor said uneasily.

“Oh no, I never hear that.” I grinned. “Don’t worry, Miss Mayor, I’ll avoid causing any trouble for you, and I’ll even try to help if you ask. I’ll warn you now that my way of doing things tends to be a bit on the odd side.”

“Please, call me Mary. You technically outrank me, so there’s no need for formalities.”

“Mary it is then. Is there anything I can help you with at the moment?” I asked.

Mary muttered under her breath and I could swear I heard ‘buck me’ somewhere in there. “Nothing comes to mind at the moment, but if you could let Twilight Sparkle know about your new title, that would be great.”

“She already knows. All of the Elements, save for Applejack maybe, know that I’m a Baron now.”

“Wonderful! I hope this proactive streak of yours continues!” She said with a wide smile.

“Let’s hope, yeah? Are you sure there isn’t anything I can help you with? As I understand it, being in charge of a town must be stressful.”

Mary sighed. “More than you could ever know. My days off are like precious gems to me.”

“You know, I don’t have to leave right now. We could have a nice ‘conversation’ and you could catch a break for awhile.” I grinned and wondered if she would pick up on my invitation.

Her eyes lit up. “Nopony ever offers to help me out like that! I’m all for it, but what would we talk about?”

“Well, we could talk about what you were doing before I walked in.” I said innocently.

A blush warmed her cheeks again. “Oh, I’m sure you don’t care for such boring things. Filing and signing papers is all.”

“Are you sure? I could have sworn I heard you say something before I came in. It made me hesitate to knock.” I bit back a smile.

Mary flustered. “I-I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Right. You know, Ponyville is pretty skewed when it comes to the gender ratio. Do you have any idea why that is? I mean, it must get frustrating for some of the women around here to not be able to find a man.”

“We mares of Ponyville find our own ways to manage.” She said, averting her eyes. “I don’t believe this is terribly appropriate conversation for the two highest ranking officials in Ponyville to be having, however.”

“Why, I’m certain that it needs to be us to have this conversation. Seeing as how you were the highest ranking person before I became a Baron, I don’t doubt that you’ve had your struggles in finding someone to help you with your desires. Between the busy schedule of a Mayor, the lack of males in Ponyville, and the intimidation factor of being a political power, I’m sure you’ve been struggling to stay strong.”

Mary tugged at her collar. “It has been a bit lonely…”

“Of course it has. It’s lonely at the top, love, which is why I’m offering to keep you company for a few hours. No strings attached, just a little release for the town’s most stressed out mare.”

Doors were locked and things were done, as well as me gaining the ability to add Mary to my list of ‘special friends’. I left Mary to recuperate from the brutal dicking I had given her and went on about my day. Unfortunately, I still hadn’t been able to get my rocks off, despite some inventive foreplay from the Mayor. I’d still had fun and planned on making another visit sometime soon, but with my two tasks for the day out of the way, there wasn’t anything else I had to do, so I went home and inspected the outside of my house.

After a brief walk around, I saw that my plants were in a greenhouse out back and that there was a pony in there taking care of them. I popped in to say hi, and it turned out that the pony tending to my smelly garden was none other than Briar Rose.

“Oh shit, would you look who it is! Briar Rose, in the fur, taking care of my ganja!” I said as I walked through the door.

“Bloody Tartarus! You scared the shit out of me, Max!” Briar spat back, “Who taught you how to knock!?”

“No one, apparently. Don’t say that like you aren’t about to cry from delight, though. I know you’re glad to see me.” I said with a grin.

“I’m about as glad to see you as I would be to find out that Big Mac is going to buck my flank until I can’t walk.” Briar replied with a smile.

“You’re a naughty one, so that sounds like you’re ecstatic.”

“Buck off!” She chuckled.

“I might. Who put you in charge of my weed?” I asked

“From what I heard, it was Princess Celestia. My sister told me that she saw some plant in your shed and wanted to find more for you, so here you are. These buckers buckingreek!”

“That they do, but they’re also worth their weight in gold. Once I get one of these processed, I’ll have to show you what they’re for.”

“Unless your going to shove it where the Sun don’t shine, I can’t say I’m terribly interested. I'm only supposed come every once in awhile, but I’m already sick of the way these things smell.”

“You should smell them when they’re burning. The smoke is a great way to have a bit of fun.”

“I’ll take your word for it. Did you want something, or are you just here to stare at my flank while I work?”

“While I can’t say that asstronomy isn’t one of my favorite subjects, I can say that I was just curious about some of my staff. Feel free to say hi anytime you stop by.”

“Hi. Now bye!” She shooed me away, so I broke off a piece of one of my plants and threw it at her. It stuck in her mane and she never even noticed.

I strolled out and went to go check out the large shed that was nearby. After opening the heavy wooden doors, I saw that it was a combination of storage and a workshop. Upon further inspection, I noticed all kinds of tools for just about any task I could imagine, and when I looked at the floor, there appeared to be more than just a workshop. I pulled up some of the planks that looked like they had been cut to a different length and climbed the ladder down into the hole. Without a light, it was nearly pitch black, but the further down the ladder I went, I could see a splash of light.

Once I was all the way down the ladder, I had a look around. I appeared to be in a room that looked an awful lot like a Teleportation Station from the runes on the floor. Besides the runes, the room was empty, which made me wonder where the light was coming from. I walked around the rune , bt none of the symbols made any sense to me, and since there wasn’t much I could do, I climbed back up the ladder and sealed the hole. I would have to ask Luna about what that was later, but for now, I wanted a drink.

I sat in my living room with my glass of wine and gave some thought on whether or not I should try charming Briar Rose into a quick romp. I decided against it since I had already slept with two different women in the past twenty four hours. It made me feel a little dirty that I had slept with multiple women so casually, but I reminded myself that it was acceptable in the Ponylands to be a complete slut. It didn’t do me much good, but I could deal with it for the time being. I went into the kitchen and found that Rarity had not eaten the meal that I’d left for her, so I went upstairs to my room to see if she was still there.

She was still knocked out on my bed, and I was tempted to join her. After a quick shower, I hopped into bed and lay next to Rarity. She snoozed peacefully, and after it was apparent that she wasn’t going to wake up any time soon, I took it upon myself to be her big spoon and try to get a little nap in. However, I never did fall asleep and was bored by the thirty minute mark. I waited impatiently for Rarity to wake the fuck up and gave up after an hour and a half, preferring to go find my books.

I located them in a drawer in my study and started reading what I had written. Frankly, I thought they were a bit much, but I remembered the audience I was writing for and that swayed my opinion. I wrote out a note to Mary, asking if she knew of any publishers in town. I waited for a reply, but it occurred to me that she might not have Dragon Fire to send a note back with, so I was going to have to rectify that.

Rarity woke up around six, which was a bit fucking ridiculous. I hadn’t expected her to sleep for most of the day, but I was glad that she wasn’t actually dead. Once she said her goodbyes and got the Hell out of my house, I had the place to myself.

I was bored within minutes.

I filled my time by writing a sequel to the Midnight Stroll book. I won’t go into the details of it here, but it was another story from my past and it translated fairly well after a little bit of creative license. I had to censor a lot of things since that was the also the story of the time I lost my V-Card, but it was still shaping up to be a good story. I wrote long into the night and retired when my eyes were as tried as my hands.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I woke up to the sound of a magical chime the next morning, alerting me to the fact that I had a visitor. It was a small wonder that I hadn’t woken up before then, even though it was only five. I trudged down stairs and opened the door to find Twilight and Mayor Mare waiting for me to arrive.

“Max!” Twilight exclaimed. “It’s good to see you!”

“Likewise. What’s the deal with the early visit, ladies?” I asked, yawning.

“Well, it’s come to our attention that a mare by the name of ‘Trixie’ has set up shop in Ponyville. Apparently, she wants to put on a magic show.” Mary replied.

“...And what does this have to do with me?”

“We need you to be there!” Twilight said. “As a new Baron, you need to make as many public appearances as possible, so we think you should go to Trixie’s show.”

“And this couldn’t have waited until say, noon? Why the Hell are both of you up right now?”

Mary coughed. “Well, Twilight and I just happened to run into each other on the road. There is another matter I wish to speak with you about.”

Twilight smiled nervously. “Sorry to interrupt, then. I just wanted to perform my duties as your steward and I knew you have a penchant for getting up early.”

“Thanks for stopping by, Twilight. I’ll probably stop by your house later today if you’re awake.” I responded.

“I should be, so I’ll see you later! Goodbye Max, Miss Mayor.” Twilight waved and began her trip back home.

I invited Mary in for a word and started getting some breakfast tea ready. We settled down in my living room while we waited for the kettle to boil. Mary didn’t seem like she was going to be forward with what she’d come for, so I asked, “So what did you need to speak with me about?”

Mary studied her hands. “Well, I was just wondering if there could be a repeat of yesterday? I know it’s rather soon, but-”

“No worries, love, let me turn the tea down and we’ll save it for after.”

We did the sex. We had the tea. The tea was fucking great, and I was incredibly grateful for the selection that the girls and Celestia had provided me with. The sex was noteworthy, though I was still zero for three, which was moderately frustrating. I had a case of blue balls that was beginning to irritate me and I considered seeing if I could borrow Fluttershy for a day. I’d always wanted to see how long she could go until she stopped making sense, and it seemed more pertinent the more I thought about it.

After Mary left, I got my morning routine done and waited around a bit before heading to Fluttershy’s. I’d hoped that she was going to rise with the Sun and my hopes were well founded. She was out and about, hefting bags of feed for her critters, so I helped her along with the process. Fluttershy caught me trying to slip her bunny, Angel, an extra carrot to keep me in his good graces, but she let it go when I told her what I was there for.

Once we got the feeding and whatnot done, Fluttershy and I locked ourselves away in her room to play. We spent the entire morning going without a break and I finally got off, so I was content to call it, but Fluttershy was nearly insatiable. At five thirty, Fluttershy finally let me go, and I was feeling every minute of our time together. I was grateful for the shower that we had taken together since it helped ease up some of my muscles, but I was still sore.

The thing with Trixie wouldn’t be going on until Nightfall, so I wandered around town for a little bit and bought some new cologne because it never hurts to have multiple scents. After meeting up with Twilight and Mary to watch the show, I had to take a moment to laugh at Spike and the ludicrous mustache he was sporting. I didn’t laugh in the poor fellow’s face, mind you, but I did have myself a chuckle when I saw it. Why Spike wanted facial hair when he had scales was beyond me, but to each their own I suppose.

The show started and it was flashy. That was pretty much the extent of it. Pretty illusions and parlour tricks that really didn’t amount to much. ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie’ was turning out to be a flop, leaving me bored after the first few minutes. My interest was waning, going on disappearing when Rainbow Dash suddenly got up in Trixie’s face for some reason or the other. Spike was reacting rather childishly and Twilight was persistently putting an end to his comments. I didn’t see the problem with a little boasting, but I will admit that Trixie was getting annoying.

For some reason that I will never quite comprehend, the blue bitch picks Twilight out of the crowd after challenging the citizens of Ponyville to a contest or some shit. I’d had enough of Trixie’s arrogance, so I encouraged Twilight to go face her, but when she balked, I offered her as many kisses as she could handle for the night if she were to go up and beat Trixie. Twilight hesitated, so I gave her a taste of what was to come and she spaced out for a little bit.

With Twilight out of commission, I decided to go and face Trixie myself. After hopping up on stage, I gave her a wave and said, “Wotcher. Name’s Max.”

Trixie scoffed and looked out to the crowd. “This is what you put against me? This isn’t even a pony!”

“Bitch, I’ll wreck you. Let’s get on with the contest already, yeah?” I said, having lost all patience.

Trixie didn’t miss a beat. “Fine, ape! Name your challenge!”

I scanned the crowd until I found who I was looking for. “Onyx Lock! Grab your two toughest locks and some tools, yeah?” I called out.

I saw a thumbs up, so I sat on the edge of the stage and kicked my feet for a little bit. Trixie kept performing more tricks, but once you’d seen a few, the rest were pretty boring. Onyx came back pretty quickly and brought his shit with him. After having Mary come up and inspect the locks because of reasons, Trixie and I were tasked with using the picks to unlock the lock. No magical tampering would be allowed.

Since I’d been allowed to set the rules, I weighted them heavily in my favor. Trixie struggled with her lock and I had mine open and ready for use after mere minutes. I kept getting tripped up by a couple of the tumblers, but it was nothing a little bit of know how couldn’t solve, which was more than I could say for Trixie. She was livid that she lost and shut her show down immediately after, which I thought was just petty. However, it wasn’t my problem, so I accompanied Twilight home and made good on my promise, despite her not actually doing anything. Have I ever mentioned how much I enjoy snogging Twilight?

I learned from Twilight the next morning that Trixie had gone full retard and some of her cronies had awakened an Ursa Minor, which was a fucking massive constellation slash monster hybrid. I was glad that I hadn’t had to deal with it, but the fact that Twilight had was just a testament to how adept she was with magic.

Speaking of the morning I spent with Twilight, the girls were going to have a picnic later in the day and I was invited. Twilight offered to turn me into Roxy so I could wear a sundress since it was supposed to be one of the last nice days of the year. I agreed, though I inwardly sighed at the thought of having to wear a dress. I had avoided doing so for the majority of my time as Roxy for good reason, and that reason was that the breeze… Dear God, the breeze. I still shudder at the memory.

With brunch over and done with, Twilight escorted me back home so I could have clothes to change into. Once the transformation was over and done with, I got dressed again and had Twilight teleport a set of my male and female clothes over to her house so I wouldn’t have to come home and change next time. With my penis well and truly gone again, Twilight and I went shopping for a pretty dress. I hated myself more and more, but I couldn’t bring myself to find a tall enough bridge, so I suffered through trying on various brightly colored, far too short skirts.

I eventually sated Twilight with a modest, pale blue number that I thought was still too short, though she thought it was perfect. I wondered if this would impact my sexuality at all, but then I realized that my eyes were still glued to Twilight’s bottom when she walked up the stairs to her front door, so I figured that I was good. I sat and talked to Twilight for a little bit before we headed to the picnic, and once we were at the destination with our blanket laid out, we waited for the rest of the girls to show up.

Rarity and Fluttershy were first, and both of them were all smiles when they arrived. Both looked lovely in their warm weather attire, and my eyes may have wandered as they were getting seated. Rainbow was next, and Pinkie Pie was last, though she was the one bringing most of the food, so she was allowed some leeway. The picnic was nice and the food was good, though I steered away from any desserts that Pinkie brought along. She had a tendency to make things far too sweet when left to her own devices, and the ridiculous amount of icing on her cupcakes were a good giveaway that they were nothing but pure sugar.

The picnic went off without a hitch and I returned to Twilight’s house to get changed back. The process was quick and painless, though the blush on Twilight’s face whenever I stripped down made the experience worth it for different reasons. I’m not an exhibitionist, but I do love messing with people in pretty much any way I can.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Those were pretty much my last interesting days for awhile. Once I became a Baron, life slowed down a lot. Many journal entries have been started and subsequently tossed since there just wasn’t enough in my days to make it worth writing about. I spent my days making public appearances, getting to know some people, and hanging out with the girls as either ‘Max’ or ‘Roxy’. I got used to changing between forms, and to a point, I was beginning to get more comfortable being in either set of shoes for as long as I needed to be. It was almost as if I had set out different mindsets for my different personas, and I noticed that the choices I made as ‘Roxy’ were often similar, but slightly different to the ones I would have made as ‘Max’. Twilight and I studied that disparity, but Equestrian psychology was limited at best, and there was no way to describe it without making me sound insane. I decided to deal with it for the time being, though I did wonder if I would retain all the same abilities between identities. Despite my curiosity, an opportunity to test my hypothesis never came.

After a month and a half of cooling my heels, I forgave Applejack and she slowly came back to the group. Fluttershy and Rarity may have had some reservations about welcoming her back so soon, but the relief in their faces when their friend came back was unmistakeable. Even when they try, the girls really aren’t mean on purpose, though they can say some pretty spiteful things at times. Applejack and I still aren’t as close as we used to be, but them’s the breaks. Bitch shouldn’t have made me bite my tongue off.

Celestia and I started talking again after a month. It was actually her who suggested that I try talking to Applejack, so make of that what you will. Our communications were purely platonic, and after a few weeks of correspondence I found that I valued Celestia as a friend. It was easy to blow off steam in our letters to each other and it seemed like a healthy way for both of us to ease our minds from the monotony of daily life, though I was careful to make no discernable hints of wanting to get back together. I wasn’t really sure how to handle Celestia now since I’d never really had much experience dealing with exes, but I muddled through as best I could and was rewarded with a confidant that I could express most of my worries to.

With a little work, I grew closer to Luna too. I learned more of her sense of humor and tried to play to it more often, though I did still infuriate her on occasion. It’s a part of the charm, I swear! We tried policing dreams together, but after a mishap that involved a tentacle monster in Pinkie’s dreams, Luna forbid me from interfering with any more dreams.

In my defense, I thought Lemmy had been cute. Pinkie Pie certainly thought so.

Surprisingly, I started sending letters to Elfriede around the same time I started talking to Celestia again. The northern queen was oddly flirtatious in her letters and very descriptive. I spent many hours writing back what I hoped were adequate responses, and eventually, it was decided that I would see Elfriede at the next Equus Olympia in the summer. As I write, it’s the middle of the Equestrian analogue of December, so that wouldn’t be for some time, though I did find myself looking forward to it. I missed Elfriede’s acerbic nature; it contrasted so well against the Pony’s general happy attitudes, and its bite was even sharper than Luna’s. I wouldn’t mind seeing Elfriede again, especially if it meant that we could have that little romp.

I met my maid and resisted the temptation to lay her constantly. Bliss Berry was definitely fine, as she was built like Rarity, but a bit more generous around the hips. Bliss was fond of showing up to my house in a little French maid outfit that was absolutely tantalizing, and it often rode a little higher than I would have considered decent at times. This event occurred so often, I based whether or not I would stay in a room while she cleaned on where her skirt happened to lie at that particular moment. Bliss was either a fantastic actor or completely unaware, because she’s flashed me on ‘accident’ plenty of times, yet she still wears the outfit. I’m not complaining, but I do hope that I can convince her to have a little fun with me some day.

Other than hanging out with the girls or showing up to town events, I haven’t really done much in the past few months. The only reason I’m writing now is because I don’t want to leave too large a gap in my logs. It’s somewhat sad now that I think about it. I really have let myself slip in the past few months, but no more! I’ll have to remain diligent if I’m going to share these with the girls one day, though I do have my reservations about that.

I suppose that’s all for now. It’s been awhile since I’ve had to end one of these.