EquestriaBound
Chapter 6: No Uranus Jokes, Please
Previous Chapter Next Chapter"Man, oh man, did that ever scare me!", says Derpy, coming out of the rubble.
"We're saved!". yells Spike. "We're SAVED!"
"Fluttershy was right!", says Trixie, impressed by Fluttershy's mental skills.
"You don't have to explain a thing.", says Derpy, recovering her senses and shaking Twilight's hoof. "I'm Derpy Hooves. I came here because Fluttershy called me."
Fluttershy looks a bit nervous.
"I'm not really strong...", says Derpy. "... I've got a mental problem, and I tend to be a little reckless. This is just the way I am."
"Not a problem, Derpy.", says Twilight. "Say, we got a real problem here. There's a locked door right there, and we were hoping you could open it for us."
"Well, I don't have any door-unlocking powers... wait a minute!" Derpy searches in her saddlebag and puts up her Bad Key Machine.
"What is it?", asks Spike.
"I think it might be an antique.", says Trixie.
"It looks more like a dirty rack.", says Fluttershy.
"It looks like junk!", says Twilight.
"It's a really useful gadget that Maxwell invented for me. I call it the Bad Key Machine.", says Derpy.
"What does it do?", asks Fluttershy.
"It opens doors... that's all."
"That's actually really useful.", says Trixie. "I'm starting to run out of air."
"And the walls are closing in!", says Spike.
"Haha!", says Fluttershy. "You're so funny, Spike."
"No, I really mean it. I'm getting a little claustrophobic."
"So you have a new boyfriend?", says Twilight to Derpy, while the group heads out of the dungeon. Spike takes the deepest breath ever, with relief coming out of his lungs.
"Yeah. We didn't actually date yet, but he can wait. We gotta save the world, and all."
A shaggy-maned pony comes in, without any worry in his eyes.
"Excuse me...", says Trixie. "... you're not a ghost, are you?"
"Why would I be?", says the shaggy-maned pony.
"Well, could you give us some information about... sanctuaries? That is, if you actually know anything about them."
"Nope. Not a clue. I'm too busy making fly honey for Master Belch."
"And who may that Master Belch be?", asks Spike.
"He's the leader of the town spooks. I'm working for him now, since there's no way he's gonna lose the fight. I'm storing the fly honey in that tent over there."
"You mean that scary-looking tent over there?", asks Fluttershy. "That creepy, dark-colored, ghostly-looking tent?"
"Yep."
"Could we get some of that fly honey?", asks Spike.
"Sure. You gotta get it from the tent, though. Good luck."
Fluttershy was right. That's one hell of a scary tent. The group comes near it, and the tent reveals a really scary face.
"PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!", yells Fluttershy, shrinking into a ball, still traumatized by that stupid ghost.
"Relax, Fluttershy.", says Spike. "I got this covered. Hey, you!", says Spike to the tent.
"Me?"
"Yeah, you! Got any fly honey to spare?"
"Fly honey? NO! NO FLY HONEY FOR YOU!", the tent then attacks the group.
"Nice job.", says a sarcastic Fluttershy.
"GAAOOOORRGG!!!"
"Relax, everyone!", says Derpy. "Let me handle this."
She picks up a bottle rocket from her saddlebag, and launches it at the tent, making a hole on its face, and deflating it, leaving behind a huge pot with fly honey in it.
"Thank you, Derpy.", says Twilight. "But I could've just used a fire spell."
"Sorry for bothering your strategy.", says Derpy, with a feeling of accomplishment.
"This looks so delicious!", says Spike, taking the fly honey and putting it on his back.
"Are you sure you can take it?", asks Twilight.
"Relax. It's not that heavy.", says Spike, while admiring the wonderful smell coming from the honey jar.
"Oh, boy.", says the shaggy-maned pony. "Looks like we're gonna lose the fight after all."
"I think these ghosts are going to be big trouble later on.", says Twilight. "Do you know how to get rid of them?"
Now that Twilight mentioned it, the group could see the huge chaos that was Spooktown. Zombies were chasing people up and down, ghosts were haunting houses everywhere, and everyone was heading to the circus tent.
"This looks really awful.", says Fluttershy, knowing how they feel.
"Well, I don't really know.", says the shaggy-maned pony.
Suddenly, Photo-Finish falls down from the sky, with Angel Bunny on her back.
"Zis scenario is perfect!", says Photo, while turning her camera on.
"Angel!", says Fluttershy, taking Angel into the comfort of her chest. "Did you miss me?"
Not really..., thinks Angel. ... but it's nice to know you're alive.
"Oh yeah. I forgot.", says Photo, after taking a picture of the chaotic town. "Twist has just invented something called the Zombie Paper. She asked me to deliver it to you."
She then gives Twilight two hundred pieces of zombie paper.
"It's supposed to work just like fly paper. It should get rid of all zombies in the area."
"Thank you, Photo.", says Spike, while sneaking some fly honey out of the jar. Real tasty stuff.
"I should be going now. Good luck on saving the world, Twilight." She then goes back up, along with Angel Bunny.
"Maybe he's just not into this kind of adventure.", says Fluttershy,
"Hey, guys.", says the shaggy-maned pony. "Why don't you use that paper on the circus tent over there? That way, we could trap the zombies and then burn the tent down."
"That sounds really nice!", says Trixie. "Thank you, whoever you are!"
"No problemo."
At the circus tent, Derpy starts spreading paper all over the floor, along with Spike and Trixie.
"What are you doing?", says a random pony from the crowd of two hundred fillies and gentlecolts.
"This is zombie paper!", says Derpy. "We're going to trap the zombies here, and then burn this tent down!"
"Oh. Go on then. As long as this solves our zombie problem, I don't see any reason to stop you."
After some minutes...
"There! Now, everyone go home!", says Trixie. "Don't worry, this will be the last night of their lives."
"I hope we can trust you.", says the mayor of Spooktown.
"We should sleep at a hotel.", says Twilight.
At the hotel, Derpy and Twilight kept talking about school stuff, while Spike slept like a rock. Trixie decided to sleep beside Fluttershy, to comfort her if she happens to have nightmares about this rather traumatizing day.
All the while, the zombies in Spooktown somehow felt like they needed to head for the circus tent. The result? A total mess.
In the morning, the Spooktown ponies burned the tent down, and the group headed for the underground passage in the graveyard.
"So, how was the night for you two?", asks Twilight to Fluttershy.
"Oh, it was... nice.", says Fluttershy. "Had a few nightmares, though."
"Good thing you woke up then."
"I slept like a rock.", says Spike. "By the way, where's the fly honey? I sure could use some breakfast now."
"It's right here. Don't eat too much, though. We'll need it for Master Belch."
"Fine...", says Spike, slightly frustrated.
"Halt!", says an unknown voice. "Do I smell fly honey?"
"Yup.", says Spike. "This stuff is delicious!"
"Gimme all your honey!", says the voice, revealing itself to be a tiny, yet stinky pile of vomit. Trixie turns green, and Fluttershy hides herself... again.
"No! This is for Master Belch!", says Twilight.
"Belch? Aw, dang it. He always gets the good stuff. Go ahead then."
The Grapefruit Falls were just beautiful. Water falling from the rocks above, creating a wide, shiny lake. Fluttershy felt relaxed, since that place looked so much like her house. It was, indeed, a really pretty sight.
"Haha!", says Derpy. "Did you see that? A talking pile of vomit! Now I've seen everything!"
"Yeah, very funny.", says Trixie, sarcastically.
"Hey!", says a gray-colored Pinkie Pie, coming out of the lake, with straight mane.
"Eek!", squeals Fluttershy.
"Who are you?", asks Twilight.
"I'm Pinkie Pie, pleased to meet ya. Where are you heading for?"
"Have you seen Master Belch's base around here?", asks Spike.
"Oh, yes I have. It's behind the waterfall. But... I don't think I know the password."
"Password?", says Derpy. "Why does everything have a password nowadays?"
"*sigh* Come with me, I know someone who can help you."
At the Pinkie Valley, the group notices that everyone looks as depressed and straight-maned as Pinkie Pie. That made no sense, since Twilight has read that the Pinkie Valley was supposed to be the happiest place in Equestria. Where were all the parties and group hugs? There was depression in the air.
"What are you doing, walking around like that?", asks Pinkie Pie. "Follow me, dimwits."
Arriving at their destination, Pinkie Pie whispers to a pony, looking as depressed as her. He then comes up to the group.
"You guys wanna know the password to hell?", says the depressed pony. "Here goes. The Belch dude says: 'say the password'. You just stand there for three minutes."
"That's it?", says Fluttershy. "Sounds real easy to me!"
Pinkie admires all the happiness contained in Fluttershy's voice. She wishes she could crack out a smile like she did two months ago. Ever since that fat, gray-coated unicorn showed up, life has been a living hell.
"Can I come with you?", asks her, after that slight bit of reflexion. "You look so happy together."
"Yeah, but we ain't turtles.", says Spike.
"See? You're happy enough to make the dumbest jokes, and still laugh at them. So, can I come with you?"
"Of course you can.", says Fluttershy, trying to comfort the depressed earth pony.
"Say the password.", says a pile of vomit at the factory's door.
The group stands there for a while, and the pile of vomit goes off to grab something to eat.
"Do you think this is going to work out?", asks Trixie.
"Let's just talk to each other while time passes.", suggests Fluttershy.
"So, Pinkie...", says Twilight. "... what's happened to you and the rest of the Pinkie Valley? You're such a happy pony..."
"I don't want to talk about it. That stupid fatty...", says Pinkie.
"Fatty? You mean, Snips?"
"Is that his name? I don't care. He's still a big meanie."
"That stupid little... UGH! Now he's gone too far!"
"You may enter.", says the pile of vomit, with a spoonful of fly honey in his hand.
"*burp* So you are Twilight Sparkle?", says Master Belch, on his filthy throne. "I see... gyork gyork gyork!"
"Are you the one who's causing all that trouble in Spooktown?", asks Twilight.
"Yep, that's me. I needed some place to dump those guys on."
"That is incorrect, Master Belch.", says Fluttershy.
"Hyuk! You make me laugh so hard... there's a prophecy that a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle will defeat Discord. If Master Discord is scared of someone, it would have to be worse than the greatest evil... hahaha! *burp* Hey, wait a second... DO I SMELL FLY HONEY? THIS IS MY LUCKY DAY!"
Master Belch dives on the honey jar, gulping it down.
"Hey! That's my food!", says Spike.
"There's nothing I can do now."
"You... you... you BARNACLE! Get ready for the worst fight of your life!"
So Master Belch grabbed Spike's leg, and Spike grabbed Belch's esophagus, and Belch bit off his ear, and Spike chewed off his eyebrows, and Belch took out his appendix, and Spike gave him a colonic irrigation, yes indeed, you better believe it. To cut a long story short, Spike won the fight with a flame burp.
"Looks like it was an even fight... *burp* but Master Discord has managed to get the Luna Moona statue into Manehattan. The city will soon be in worse condition than living in your own puke! Hahahaha!"
And then he fainted.
"You... defeated Master Belch.", says a slimy little pile. "Oh, greatest leader, what shall we do to honor you?"
"Hmm...", wonders Spike. "... do you know about any sanctuaries nearby?"
"Great timing, Spike!", whispers Twilight.
"Why, yes! Across this door is the Milky Well. I don't know what you're planning to do, but go ahead."
"I sure could use a drink right now.", says Pinkie, drinking from the well. "This milk is delicious!"
"Hey, Pinkie, you turned pink again!", says Trixie.
"I did? Yay!"
"Looks like the sanctuaries' power is bigger than I thought.", says Twilight. "Hey! It's that song again!"
The song plays again, and now Twilight can memorize a few more notes from it. She catches herself humming to it, so the other ponies will listen.
Back on the Pinkie Valley, everyone is happier than ever again. Not only that, but Twilight finds Princess Celestia in the ceremonial area.
"Princess Celestia?!", says Twilight.
"Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. How are you doing with all this worldsaving stuff in your life?"
"It's turning out to be pretty good."
"And I see that you've got lots of new friends as well. I'd like to talk to you for a moment, if you've got the time."
"Sure! I'm all ears!"
"You've traveled very far from home. Do you remember how your long and winding journey began with someone pounding at your door? It was Snips, the worst pony in your neighborhood, who knocked on the door that fateful night.
On your way, you have walked, thought and fought. Yet through all this, you have never lost your courage. You have grown steadily stronger, and has experienced the pain of battle quite a few times. You are no longer alone in your journey. The Great and Powerful Trixie is a very powerful magician, Fluttershy is the kindest pony you will ever meet. Spike is quite the joker, and also has great power. Derpy Hooves is one of the most special ponies in Equestria as well... and now Pinkie Pie spreads happiness all over the group. Twilight, as you certainly know by now, you are not a regular young mare... you have an awesome destiny to fulfill.
The journey from this point will be long, and it will be more difficult than anything you have undergone to this point. Yet, I know you will be all right. When good battles evil, which side do you believe wins? Do you have faith that good is triumphant?
One thing you must never lose is courage. If you believe in the goal you are striving for, you will be courageous. There are many difficult times ahead, but you must keep your sense of humor, work through the tough situations and enjoy yourself.
Now you must pass through a vast desert and proceed to the big city of Manehattan.
Twilight, Trixie, Fluttershy, Spike, Derpy and Pinkie... I wish you luck."
"I didn't quite expect such a long speech... but thank you anyway. I won't let you down."
"Twilight, the whole Equestria depends on you. I know you can handle it!"
And then, the group went back to Spooktown, singing hiking songs and laughing all the way through, spreading happiness all over the place. Next Chapter: The Show Must Go On Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 19 Minutes