Ice Cube Land, a small country to the north.

  Snowball Boarding House.

  Derpy wakes up from a weird dream she just had. In it, she could hear the cries from a soft-speaking pony, begging for her help to save the world from pure evil. She decides to, literally, follow her dreams and gets up.

  "Derpy? What are you doing?", says Timmy, Derpy's roommate.

  "Following my dream.", answers Derpy. "What are you doing awake?"

  "It's 5 a.m. I always wake up at 5 a.m., so I can get some time alone in school until someone else wakes up."

  "That sounds relaxing. Anyway, I gotta head south.", says Derpy, while putting a ruler and a protractor in her saddlebag.

  "Head south? You mean, the southern part of Ice Cube Land?"

  "Yea."

  "You know the dorm rules, right? If they catch you, you'll get punished big time."

  "No one's awake at this time of the night... except for you, of course."

  "Well, if you say so... I'll help you get out of here."

  "That's very nice of you, Timmy. Just make sure not to ruin everything."

  "Me, ruin everything? You're the clumsy one around here."

  "Whatever. You can come with me."

  "Shouldn't you take some food with you? I mean, it's gonna be a looooong journey."

  "Hoofmade cookies. They're all here."

  "You mean, the ones you made last weekend? Those not very tasty, slightly unclean cookies of yours?"

  "Shut up. They're better than the cafeteria, that's for sure."

  "Yeah, you're right. The school cafeteria is the only place that sells artificially-colored mold."

  "Haha, yeah."

  At the hall, Derpy can see the reason why Timmy wakes up so early. It feels like world peace to just stroll around school territory without any teachers or hall monitors to disturb you... except for the jock leaders' late-night party.

  "What are you doing at this time of the night, Jackie?", asks Derpy to Jackie, the leader of the jock leaders.

  "Oh hey, Derpface.", says Jackie. "We're just having a late-night birthday party for Bernie here. Y'know, we eat nachos and talk about girls. The usual stuff. What are you doing here with that boyfriend of yours?"

  "He's not my boyfriend. We're just really good friends, that's all."

  "Are you going to watch the sunrise together?", jokes Jackie. The whole party laughs along.

  "No. We're just looking for the locker room. Do you know where it is?"

  "The locker room?", asks Timmy. "Have you forgotten again?"

  "It's like the third time this week...", says Jackie, impressed by how many brains Derpy can lack sometimes.

  "You know I have a mental disorder. Now, could you just tell me where's the locker room?"

  "*sigh* It's downstairs.", facehoofs Timmy. Even though he has a secret crush on her, facehoofs are still worth it.

  "What are you planning to do?", asks Jackie. "There's still three hours left until class starts."

  "I'm going to save the world from pure evil.", says Derpy. The whole party chuckles intensely, trying not to wake up the rest of the dorm rooms.

  "Haha... sure, good luck on that.", says Jackie. Derpy just goes downstairs, really frustrated.

  "Oh, goodie. It's locked.", says Derpy, unsuccessfully trying to open her locker.

  "Don't you have a key?", asks Timmy.

  "I lost it again."

  Timmy sighs. He doesn't even know why he's in love with such a dumb pegasus.

  "Maybe Maxwell can help us out.", says him.

  "Is he awake?"

  "I can hear some weird noises coming from the next room."

  The duo enters the lab, to see Maxwell messing with his tools to build a weird-shaped thingie that has no apparent purpose.

  "Oh, it's you, Derpy.", says Max. "You startled me. Are you looking for a late-night snack?"

  "Sure! Whatcha got there?", says Derpy, before Timmy shuts her up with his elbow. "Ow!"

  "I'm having some trouble with my project. If only Derpy's father, Dr. Peanuts, was here. He was one of the first teachers in the Snowball Boarding House."

  "*sigh* Yeah...", says Derpy, remembering all the wonderful times she has spent with her father, in his physics teacher days.

  "I heard he's better than Einstein or Heisenberg... anyway, what are you guys doing here?"

  "We're looking for a key to Derpy's locker. She lost it again."

  "Geez... it's the third time this week!"

  "I KNOW.", says Derpy.

  "Here, take this key along." Max gives her a copy of the master key. "It's a little bent, though."

  "Haha... the key didn't work, didn't it?", asks Maxwell, after Derpy has spent a good thirty minutes trying to fit the key in, complete with Timmy laughing all the way through.

  "No...", says Derpy, slamming the key into his face. "... it didn't."

  "No need to be so harsh... for I have just finished THIS!" Max pulls out the weirdest mechanism Equestria has ever saw. "I call it the Machine That Opens Doors, Even if You Have a Slightly Bad Key!"

  "I'll just call it the Bad Key Machine.", says Timmy.

  "Whatever."

  "Okay, I got everything I need right now.", says Derpy, putting some important stuff in her saddlebag.

  "So, can we finally get out of here?", asks Timmy.

  "Yea. And look, the sun isn't even out yet... wanna see the sunrise with me, as a way to say goodbye?"

  "I would love to!"

  On their way to the school gates, they hear Jackie and his buddies having an interesting conversation.

  "Forget it, Stevie.", says Jackie. "Tessie ain't real. She just isn't."

  "Well, I got proof.", says Stevie. "See this magazine right 'ere? There's an article all about it."

  "Magazines are written lies, Stevie. Tessie still isn't real."

  "But it's the Midnight Star! It never lies!"

  "I still don't believe you. Aren't you the same guy that believes in aliens and griffons?"

  "Excuse me...", says Derpy, trying to join the conversation for a few moments. "... but I have seen a griffon before."

  "You did not.", says Jackie.

  "Not just one. I saw a whole bunch of them!"

  "Just ignore her, guys.", says David. "She's just being Derpy Hooves."

  "Anyway, I gotta go. Goodbye, y'all!" Derpy and Timmy go to the school gates outside.

  "Let's just forget all this Tessie stuff.", says Jackie. "Have you seen the Stonehenge base yet?"

  "There's a base under it?", asks David.

  "Oh yeah. It's the coolest thing I have ever seen."

  As the sun rises, it's time for Derpy to say goodbye to the Snowball Boarding House, and to Timmy, her only true friend.

  "Well, Timmy...", says Derpy. "... the time has come. You probably won't see me again in a few weeks."

  "How 'bout school?", asks Timmy. "The tests haven't even started yet!"

  "I think I can handle a low grade or two. What I'm going to do now is more important than school itself."

  "I guess you're right... but, before you go... I'd like to tell you something."

  "Well... I guess I have enough time. I still gotta see my buddy, Ol' Pete, so he can help me on finding Tessie."

  "You're going after Tessie?"

  "Of course I am! She is real. I just know it."

  "Okay... anyway, what I was trying to tell you is..."

  "... what?"

  "... I think I am... slightly in love with you."

  "Really? I've never been loved before.", says Derpy, bearing a proud smile on her face.

  "Well... me neither... right?"

  "... yeah, I think I like you too. BUT! There is no time for loving now. The world is waiting for me!"

  "... you're right! Go forward, move ahead!", says Timmy, looking a bit frustrated.

  "I'm sorry, honey, but I can't slow down something so important just because I have a new boyfriend. I hope you understand."

  "Wait... we're lovers?"

  "Well, if you don't want it, you can just say so."

  "No no no, I'm more than okay with it! And you're more than right as well! I'll just wait here... in case you come out alive."

  "I will survive. I promise you. Don't tell anyone about this, okay?", says Derpy, while kissing her new boyfriend for two seconds, and then running away.

  "I won't.", says Timmy, with hearts on his eyes.

--------------------------------------------

  Derpy arrives at the Tessie Watching Club at the lakeshore, where all the Tessie Watchers wait for Tessie to come out of the lake to search for food. She sees fish everywhere, so there's no way Tessie's going to look over this. In the crowd of scientists and madponies, she sees Ol' Pete with his classic pair of binoculars.

  "Hey, Ol' Pete.", says Derpy. "Is Tessie coming today?"

  "Oh hey, it's Super Derper!", says Ol' Pete. "Tessie ain't escaping us this time! Look at all this fish junk!"

  "You could say there's not that many fish in the sea now."

  "Haw haw haw haw! I see you're the real deal! So, got any important news? I mean, you don't come here every day."

  "Well... I'm looking forward to saving the world!"

  "That's nice. We got ourselves a new hero, I see! Any more?"

  "I... have a new boyfriend.", says Derpy, blushing a little.

  "I'm happy for ya. Now, about the saving-the-world thing... are you fo' real?"

  "Of course I'm for real! Would I lie to you?"

  "Where do you wanna start? Taking short showers?"

  "It's not THAT kind of worldsaving, Ol' Pete! I'm really gonna save Equestria from all evil!"

  "You headin' south, by any means?"

  "Sure am. Maybe Tessie can take me there!"

  "I don't think she'll want to get near you."

  "Of course she will! Watch this!" Derpy then jumps into a nearby pile of fish, and rolls around it until she catches the horrible, yet pleasing scent of fishmeat.

  "Ho ho ho! You and your great ideas, Derpy! I see what you're doing there!"

  "Ain't it the best idea ever?"

  "Yes it is-- what's that noise? IT'S TESSIE!" Some strange bubbling comes up on the lake, and a huge monster comes out of it.

  "IT'S OL' TESSIE!", yells Ol' Pete. "I KNEW SHE WAS REAL! I TOLD YOU GUYS!"

  Tessie then eats all the fish piles around her, but notices Derpy, and her smell of fish. Derpy makes signals with her arms, trying to communicate with her.

  "... you don't have to make signals for me to understand you.", says Tessie, through telepathy.

  "You can use telepathy?", says Derpy, through the same telepathy.

  "Yes I can. And I see that you can use it too. Now, what do you want?"

  "I'm looking forward to saving the world, and I was hoping that you could take me to the southern part."

  "Why, yes I can. Just hop on my back and we're on."

  Derpy then hops on Tessie's back, and the duo goes forth to the lake, while Ol' Pete and his buddies stare at them, not believing what they just saw.

  "By the way, Derpy, you smell really good.", says Tessie.

  "Oh, do I?", says Derpy, with a proud tone in her voice.

---------------------------------------

  "Bye, Tessie!", says Derpy. "It was really fun to talk with you!"

  "You're welcome, dear.", says Tessie. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna grab something to eat."

  Derpy then travels around until she arrives at what looks like some kind of maze.

  "What is this madness?", asks Derpy. "Please tell me it's not a maze."

  Derpy spent a good thirty minutes trying to solve the confusing maze. She searched high and low for the exit. She tried not to eat her saddlebag cookies, even though she felt like she hasn't eaten for three whole days. She stopped at lots of dead ends. She cried in the corners. She thought about the mysteries of life and the origins of the universe. But finally, she finds the exit, after a complete waste of her time. Outside, she finds a strange-looking stallion with a really awesome mustache.

  "Maybe it was too easy?", says him.

  "Please don't make it any easier.", says Derpy, even dizzier than normal. "Care to introduce yourself? I haven't talked to people for some time now."

  "My name's Yellowbrick, dungeon developer. I've devoted my life to making dungeons."

  "You've got some real talent on your hooves, Mr. Yellowbrick."

  "Thank you very much. But you haven't seen my greatest idea yet: have you ever heard of Dr. Peanuts?"

  "I'm his proud daughter."

  "Really?! Why, it's such an honor to meet a member of the Peanuts family! Well, as I was saying, by combining my dungeon-making skills with Dr. Peanuts's intelligence, I can become the Dungeon Horse!"

  "Dungeon Horse?"

  "Yup! The first combination of horse and dungeon in history!"

  "I bet it's gonna be the rage!"

  "It sure will!"

  "Could you tell me how to find my father's lab?"

  "Oh, just head south, across the Rainy Circle and the Stonehenge."

  "The Rainy Circle? You mean, the nationally-famous Rainy Circle?"

  "Yup. Beautiful, ain't it? Your father sure has a good taste."

  "I wish Timmy was here now... we would have such a great time."

  "Who's that?"

  "Oh, he's just my boyfriend. I don't think you know him."

  "Well, congrats on that! Anyway, I think you should be going now."

  "Oh, you're right! Thank you, Mr. Yellowbrick. Keep that mustache on, next time I see you around."

  "What? Oh, haha! Yes, I will. Bye!"

  Derpy then travelled through the southern part of Ice Cube Land, while admiring her beautiful surroundings. Derpy loved to just stick around, without a care in the world, and thank the Lord for making her live in such a lovely place. For a braindead pegasus, she sure had a great taste in what she liked. She now has a boyfriend, and has just made a new friend. Everything's doing just fine. Eventually, she arrives at the Stonehenge, and sees a strange-looking hole in the middle of the area. Nearby, she sees a classy-looking colt.

  "Excuse me...", says Derpy. "... but, do you know where this hole leads to?"

  "No, I don't.", says the classy-looking colt. "And you shouldn't either. This place is far too intellectual for youngster ponies such as you to come by and spread your ignorance around."

  "Hey, no need to get offensive. Do you know where Dr. Peanuts lives?"

  "Oh, sure. That's his home right there.", he points to a wacky-looking building with LAB written above the door.

  "Thank you! I'm finally here!", Derpy rushes to the lab.

  "Hello?", asks Derpy, opening the unlocked door. "Is anyone home?"

  "Oh, come in.", says Dr. Peanut. "Who are you supposed to be?"

  "I'm Derpy Hooves."

  "Oh, sure... Derpy?! Is that you, my child?!"

  "Hee-hee, yeah."

  "Oh, Derpy, my gorgeous daughter! It's been almost ten years since I last saw you! You look so healthy!"

  "Oh, stop it..."

  "... do you want a donut?"

  "Sure!"

  "Well... I was only offering. I would also like a donut right now."

  "No worries."

  "... have you checked out Stonehenge?"

  "Yeah. Looks really cool."

  "Well, at least I asked... by the way... why are you here?"

  "I was sleeping in my dorm room, along with my boyfriend Timmy, and--"

  "Boyfriend?"

  "Yeah... nothing too serious to worry about."

  "Oh, okay... go on."

  "And suddenly, I had this weird dream where a mare named Fluttershy was calling for me, to save the world from all evil in Equestria."

  "I had the same dream! Maybe this is all destiny's work!"

  "So, she told me that she was in Spooktown, along with two unicorns and a baby dragon. She didn't tell me where in Spooktown they were, though."

  "Well, I'm still working on a Phase Distorter that can connect two points in space and time."

  "That sounds real neat."

  "It's incomplete, though. I'll let you use another invention I call the Sky Walker. It's a little old, but it'll certainly help."

  "Well, I'll just try to figure out the destination by myself then."

  "Here it is." Peanuts takes off the sheet that was covering the neat-looking ship. "Isn't it neat? Get in!"

  "How does it work?"

  "I already programmed it to head for Spooktown. Just push that button over there, but first: what's all this boyfriend stuff?"

  "Oh, dad, it's nothing serious. Maybe it is... but we didn't do anything yet. We just watched the sunrise together and kissed. Nothing more."

  "Oh, alright. You're growing up, and I can't deny it. I'm not like most fathers. Anyway, good luck on saving the world! I'm afraid I'm going to have an important role in this story as well."

  "Thank you, daddy, for everything you ever gave me."

  "You're welcome, sweetie. Now, it's time to go to Spooktown! Let's get together again in ten years or so."

  "Haha, let us."

  "Ten years is too much, isn't it?", Peanut realizes what he just said. "Le's get together again in a few weeks."

  "That's better.", laughs Derpy.

  "Alright, enough with the chit-chat! If I had it my way, we'd spend all day here, talking about useless stuff. Good luck on saving your friends!"

  "Goodbye, daddy!"

  Derpy then pushes the button, and the Sky Walker goes up to the sky, and then flies to its destination.

  Arriving in Spooktown, Derpy suddenly loses control of the ship, and tries to keep herself from squealing. Mares like Derpy don't squeal. Mares like Derpy just find the problem, and if there's no solution to it, they wait for it to end.

  The Sky Walker then comes to a halt and crash-lands on the graveyard, tearing down the floor around the area, and consequently landing on the dungeon below it.

  "All hope is back!", yells Spike. Next Chapter: No Uranus Jokes, Please Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 29 Minutes