Hello everypony, it is your beloved dictator Princess Celestia again. You all haven't been overly bad and I haven't been denied any cake or any lavender icing here recently so I shall give you my synopsis of "Tanks for the Memories."

It is another fall day and Ponyville and once again it is time for the Running of the Leaves. I chose not to go this time because my sexy Twily was not taking part in it. What a shame too, last time I loved watching her shake her ass as she ran that course. Applejack and Rainbow weren't competing either so it was likely going to be a boring old race with nothing exciting going on. Come on, they could at least have cake at the finish time. That officially makes this year's event LAME!

This time things seem different though. It is colder and Cloudsdale is heading to Ponyville. Well shit, that likely means that as soon as they get the leaves cleared away winter will arrive early. Damn it, once again I am kicking myself for not listening to Luna when she said that having ponies control everything would be a royal pain, not to mention have negative results. Can't winter just wait until the damn solstice? Seriously though, only idiots like winter. Most ponies like it warm where you can have fun outside without risking hypothermia.

Speaking of only idiots liking winter, Rainbow Crash is excited that it will soon arrive. Leave it to her to like it but it seems like her pet tortoise isn't so thrilled. He seems rather sleepy given the drop in temperature. There she is dreaming of all the so-called fun things those two can do together and Tank is likely thinking, "Would you shut up you mindless bitch! Notortoise cares about dumb winter games, just let me get some rest!"

Guess who Rainbow very first asks about Tank? She asks Twilight! What a moron, yes Twilight is an Alicorn Princess and a very sexy one at that but she is NOT an animal expert. Perhaps little miss crash needs to let somepony else take a look at him, somepony such as the sexiest pegasus to have ever roamed the earth and that is what she finally decides to do, she takes him to Fluttershy so to give an accurate account of what happens next, I will have to do the old invisibility and teleport spell into one of my favorite places, Fluttershy's cottage.

Like any good veterinarian would do, Fluttershy listens to his heartbeat to make sure he isn't just a zombie tortoise and as it turns out, it is a bit slow but he is just fine. Good, I really don't want Crashie throwing some sort of fit and either getting so mad she kills Tank or gets so depressed that she kills herself. Either way, I would have to replace her so I just have to hope that she remains calm. Fortunately, that does not happen but she questions my sexy Fluttershy's knowledge on animals.

Look Crashie, she knows what the hell she's talking about. She knows more about animals than anypony else does, well except for when it came to those damn parasprites. Hell she even gets a book out that tells explicitly that tortoises hibernate and Rainbow doesn't believe it. It looks like she is going into denial. Wait a minute, I just noticed something about that book. It says that rabbits hibernate too. Sweet, that means that very soon Angel will be hibernating as well. Thank Faust, now I won't have to worry about that little fucker crying and whining when I throw him out so Fluttershy and I can have some fun. What I look forward most to though is when he goes into permanent hibernation. Alright, enough about my hatred of Angel, let's get back to the episode.

I think Rainbow is starting to go into denial because she decides to go visit Spike over the matter. Seriously Rainbow, Spike? You do know that he isn't a veterinarian or a reptile, don't you. I'm thinking that if Rainbow takes him to somepony, or should I say somedragon, that tells her that he won't have to hibernate, that he won't. What an idiot. She should always come up to me and I'd tell her that narcissistic pegasi hibernate and hopefully she would do it. Sorry Rainbow, but Spike doesn't know anything so you should just get going, Spike has to leave too because since I'm in town, I'm going over to have a private meeting with Twilight in her sleeping chambers.

Now Rainbow is back to bringing in more clouds still acting like winter is the best thing since zapapple jam and Tank is digging into the ground getting ready to hibernate. You know, why didn't I think of that? Perhaps I should just dig....what the hell am I thinking? If I dug myself a burrow every winter that would probably cause Luna to go conquer the whole planet, crown herself Goddess of the world and banish me to the sun while I slept so forget that.

Pinkie must know more about animals than Rainbow because even she knew Tank was getting ready to hibernate. Now Rainbow is all pissy because she used that evil "H" word. Watching Rainbow go into all out bitch mode is quite humorous. Oh and Rainbow, yes you look angry. I have some advice for you bitch, Tank has to hibernate so get over it. Perhaps you should have thought about that when you chose your pet. That falcon wouldn't have had to do this, but then again it likely would have attacked and killed you in your sleep too.

I swear, Rainbow must be going nuts. Here she has been looking so forward to winter and now all of a sudden she comes up with a brilliant idea. Since Tank doesn't hibernate when it is warm, she has decided she is going to stop winter! Finally, she puts her scheming ways to use. Tell you what Rainbow, if you can successfully do this, I will transform you into an Alicorn, make you the Weather Princess and put you in charge of keeping winter contained to the mountains. In the lower elevations, warmer temperatures and rain will suffice. I'll just crank my A/C into overdrive to make up for it. After all, there are several mares that must keep me warm during the winter.

Now the time has come to see if Rainbow is just all talk or if she can actually stop winter. There are those weather ponies, acting like they are all that and a bag of chips bringing in those hideous snow clouds. Now Rainbow has put her plan into action and the weather ponies are starting to wonder what is happening to them? Who cares? As long as winter is stopped, Rainbow will be happy and so will I. Just imagine how Hearth's Warming would be if it weren't cold! Just think of the huge festival we could have, a huge festival with lots and lots of cake!

Now Rainbow has burst into song and while I know she cares about Tank, I never knew she cared about him this much. She truly is dead set on stopping winter. She's making heart shaped clouds and then breaking them to let the sun in, shine on Tank and remove his fatigue. I know I complain about Rainbow and emphasize on what a bitch she is all the time, but right now I'm seeing a side of her that I never knew existed. She actually does have a heart.

No matter how hard she tries though, those dumb weather ponies take three steps forward for every one that Rainbow sets them back. Well either Rainbow steps up her game or I'm going to be one very unhappy princess. If she loves that tortoise as much as she claims, she'll do whatever it takes, even if it means breaking the law, to stop winter Surprisingly, it looks like that is what is going to happen. This should be fun, very fun!

Now Rainbow has decided to break into the weather factory to stop winter. This should be fun to watch because despite her handling some aspects of the weather, she doesn't know how to operate the machinery which is going to make this operation much, much more difficult. She should have just thrown herself out to that pegasus that looks like Sea Swirl but then again, maybe not. She is just as hot as Sea Swirl and I have decided I want her so I'm heading to Cloudsdale, abducting her and hauling her to my sleeping chambers. I can find out her name later, I'm just needy and she looks perfect.

Enough about my plans on adding another mare to my harem, back to the show. Well she's done it, Rainbow has broken into the winter lab. The bad thing is that she is looking at all that equipment and is completely clueless as to how it works. Had she done better on her weather control test so long ago, she could have been working in the weather factory instead of being a lowly local weather team member. Oh well, with as obsessed as she is with Spitfire and the rest of the Wonderbolts, she wouldn't have had the discipline nor the composure to work there anyway.

At first her plans seemed pretty lame. Yeah they may have delayed winter for a while, but suddenly she gets a bright idea. Drain the water from their tank. Without water, there will be no clouds or snow! Yes, maybe she'll do it! Perhaps she can stop that Faust-forsaken season from coming and I can enjoy Hearth's Warming for a change. Unfortunately though, Tank and his flying device cause him to flip some switch that turns on this fan. Great, just great. Now she is getting blown into where they store the lightning bolts and it only makes matters worse.

Before I go on I am going to bring up a little something the animators didn't show. On the side of that weather machine there was a switch. Had she thrown that switch up to the warm setting, she would not be going through all of this nor would she be causing millions of bits of damage to expensive weather making equipment and most importantly, she would stop winter and make me a very happy princess.

Unfortunately for her and tank, now they have been sucked into the weather machine and are getting thrown back to Ponyville, as part of a giant snowball. Well shit, winter has arrived not just in Ponyville, but in Canterlot as well. Thanks a lot Crashie, you've brought the worst season of the year to my city before it was time. The only reason I won't punish you is because you had good intentions. Now it looks like Tank's hibernation is inevitable, I guess unless she keeps him holed up in her house for a few months.

Well it looks like Rainbow is throwing in the towel by throwing herself a pity party. Oh wah, wah, wah. You failed Rainbow, you destroyed expensive weather equipment and still failed. Perhaps I should punish her after all. Thing is, she doesn't have the money to replace it and she certainly isn't the type of pony that I would ever lead into my sleeping chambers. I've got it, I'll just jack up taxes on the wealthiest ponies across Equestria. If they protest, I'll banish them to the moon or even better, I'll have Luna banish them to the sun! She hates the elite ponies anyway so she'd gladly do it.

Now I have a memo for Twilight and her friends. Rainbow is devastated and now matter what you do, you're not going to improve her mood. She knows now that she failed, her beloved pet tortoise is going to have to hibernate and she will have nopony, notortoise or anything else that will truly give a shit about her until spring arrives. Ok, I forgot that Pinkie will still care but that's it. The rest of her so-called friends merely tolerate her presence because I force them to.

Now Fluttershy finally lets her know that her winter will be petless. What the hell is going on? Suddenly Rainbow is crying? That's right, she is crying and it isn't some lame drama queen cry like Rarity does either. This is a true cry coming from a devastated pony who is going to lose her best friend for several months. I may seem like an uncaring sex obsessed, cake craving bitch most of the time but I am actually crying a little myself seeing this. Because of this, I won't punish her any but that still doesn't mean the wealthy won't see their taxes go up.

Now what happens next is cold. Fluttershy starts to cry too and Rarity says it is awful to see Fluttershy cry. For Faust's sake bitch, Rainbow is the truly distraught one here. Fluttershy is simply too tender hearted and will cry over just about anything. Just wait till Angel dies though, then she will be the one needing comfort and the funny thing will likely be that Rainbow won't care and may find it funny. Like me and pretty much everypony else, she thinks Angel is a little asshole that will rot in Tartarus.

Finally Rainbow accepts the fact that Tank has to hibernate and takes him out by this tree where he will dig his burrow. I'm surprised he was able to, I thought the ground would have froze by now. Now this is a sad moment for Rainbow and a goodbye moment for the others. I do look forward to when spring arrives for more than one reason though. Pinkie plans on throwing a party for when he comes back above ground. If it has cake then I'll be there and if it has fritters, I know Luna will be there as well. I may not be obsessing over when Tank finishes his winter slumber but I am obsessing over what is on the menu.

I'm sorry Twilight but I don't think Rainbow is quite ready to go and partake in some winter fun. She is going to stay by Tank's hibernation spot and read some Daring Do to him. Whether he can hear her or not is beyond me but all that matters is that Rainbow proved that she isn't a 100% narcissistic and self-absorbed bitch, just 99.99%.

One final thing that they didn't show. Rainbow nearly froze to death but she sat there by that tree all winter long. She didn't even take part in Winter Wrap Up. Luckily it got done on time, Tank woke up and Rainbow was happy again. My sister and I attended the party Pinkie threw because yes there was cake and plenty of fritters. In the end Rainbow was happy, Luna was happy and I was happy. Now it is just a matter of time before Pinkie has to throw an Angel's permanent hibernation party where everypony will celebrate, well except for Fluttershy, who I will have to make feel all better.

Author's Notes:

Celestia's newest lovely, the one who looks like Sea Swirl