The Discordian Games
Chapter 9: With Rock and Steel (Win)
Previous Chapter Next ChapterAuthor's Notes:
Done reading this and Ember's fight? Decide who wins right here!
With Rock and Steel
The door shutting behind him, the iron clad stallion closed his eyes, his world turning black.
Breath In.
It would be simple.
He could feel his ash lance’s familiar weight strapped to his side.
Breath out.
He was a soldier of the 22nd.
His listened to the quiet jingling of his armor.
Breath in.
He opponent was not, he would fail to beat him.
His dagger clanked softly on his chest as he shifted himself.
Breath out.
Harmony was by his side.
He felt the reassuring weight of his war hammer at his hip.
Breath In.
He heard the door open.
“Harmony favor me.”
Thunder Hammer of Celestia’s own 22nd Rangers opened his eyes. He’d seen action in all kinds of terrain with the 22nd, from the bitter cold glacial fields of the northern border to the most barren of the badlands. From his experience, the scene before looked most like the great volcanic rock fields of the higher dragon lands.
The rock was familiar, the same ash black jagged stones full of crevices, canyons, and sharp edges. Unlike the actual volcanic fields, there were thankfully no fissures of magma to be avoided.
The floating rocks in the distance were new however.
Setting his jaw, Thunder Hammer stepped clear of the small room. His lance led the way as the ground crunched underhoof.
Thunder Hammer’s eyes scanned back and forth for any sign of his opponent, until a voice boomed from the sky.
“Welcome, friends—”
Discord.
“—to round one.”
Thunder Hammer looked up and couldn’t find the source of the voice.
“By now you’re probably wondering where your opponents are. Well, look around! Somewhere within the Arena your obstacle to victory is thinking the same thing.”
He continued walking, still listening to Discord, still scanning with his eyes.
“So keep on your guard! You never know where they might be or what they might be capable of.”
So his opponent was as in the dark as he was.
The chaos god paused in his little speech, before continuing.
“Oh, and by the way. Once one of you has proven to be a clear victor—”
Thunder Hammer stopped walking.
“—the exit will appear at the center of the battlefield. Good luck finding it! Ta!”
Seemed simple enough: find his opponent, send him to whatever afterlife was waiting for him, then find the center of the field. Small potatoes for a stallion that had battled dragons. Of course, he hadn’t been without his fellow soldiers then. He shook his head to clear the assaulting images. Dead faces and dead names swam in his vision before he managed to clear them. He cursed under his breath.
He needed to focus.
He quickened his pace, scrabbling to the top of a small rise. It served as a decent vantage point of the terrain before him. The barren black rock stretched on to a large body of water, some kind of bridge connecting it to the next island. He could make out in the distance bolts of lightning arcing between large rocks in the sky.
“What sorcery has wrought this?” he muttered.
Seeing nothing of his opponent, he made his way back down the other side of the porous rock. As he did so, he heard a cry from nearby.
It was a baby.
He quickened his pace.
He could tell it was hungry.
He stopped almost midstride down the rise.
How did he know that?
Once again hazy memories assaulted him, a flash of smiling teeth, a small bundle, and a mare’s voice
“Do you want to hold—?”
He cursed out loud as he tumbled the last few stones to the ground, painfully returning to reality in a heap of metal and expletives. The source of the crying a few yards away from him.
It was a mother and foal.
The young mare looked barely out of fillyhood. From her matted mane that stuck out at odd angles to the filthy cloth that held her foal to her back, she was covered in grime. She was facing away from Thunder Hammer as he fell, only seeming to notice him when he picked himself up. She looked at him and took a pace back.
He walked slowly towards her as not to startle her, her eyes held nothing but fear for the armored pony.
“Easy there, easy. I only wish to help.”
She took another step back confusion on her face.
They both froze as a deep rumbling was heard underhoof. Before Thunder Hammer could say anything further, the mare bolted.
“Miss!? Wai—”
Before he could continue, he was slammed to the ground by his armor. With a grunt he tried to stand. It felt like he was trying to do a pushup with a small house spread out on his armor. The battle hammer at his side felt like a ton of bricks strapped to him. After several painful seconds of exertion he let his body go limp, his nose in the dirt as his helmet and coif dragged him down.
What sorcery is this? he thought to himself. He remembered as a foal a street entertainer using a strange metal to pull other metal towards it with an invisible force. Was this island one giant rock of that? The mare had run off without difficulty, whatever was going on must only affect metal.
He frowned as a thought came to him.
Is that why those rocks were floating on the other island? The same strange force but reversed?
He pushed those thoughts from his mind; he had more important things to worry about. Specifically what he was going to do if his opponent came across him seemingly glued to the floor and defenseless? Perhaps he could escape the downward pull of the island’s power?
Gritting his teeth, he tried to haul himself forward using his legs to drag himself in the direction he’d seen the mare take off with her foal. To his credit he managed to pull himself six inches before the effort defeated him, leaving him panting and out of breath, his tongue lolling out as he greedily sucked in air. So he sat there as he caught his breath, if the force hadn’t been there before perhaps it would fade soon? No sooner had he thought this then he could feel the pull on his armor lessening. He stayed still however, until it had returned itself to its usual weight.
He waited until he stopped panting, he had no idea where his opponent was so there was no need for him to go charging anywhere yet.
That was until he’d heard the first scream. By the second he’d gotten his hooves under him, he was running in the direction of said screams. Grimly, he observed that the screams were coming from where he’d seen the mare and foal disappear to. He wasn’t sure what was out there, but if it was his opponent who was causing the mare and her foal distress, he’d make him pay.
That was just simply not done.
He followed the screams, moving as fast as he could, barely managing to stop as he turned a corner and the island vanished. His hooves scrambled for purchase as the edge rapidly approached him. He came to a stop mere inches from it, rocks and dirt tumbling down to make small splashes in the water below
He had reached the edge of his island. However, more than a stone’s throw away was another island, the same dark craggy rock as his current one. He strained his eyes and could make out several grey forms running along the side of it, most likely the mare and her pursuers. Short of a thirty foot drop into rock filled waters and a hard swim—not a pleasant thought in full armor—the only way to the other island was a string of rocks forming what could be called a bridge. The rocks themselves didn’t seem to be held up by anything, or tethered together in any way. There were enough large rocks for him to get across.
Probably.
All of this the experienced campaigner took in with a moment’s glance as he stood at the edge. Thunder Hammer was braver than most, but only a fool wouldn’t have hesitated. Nevertheless, he was a ranger, and it was time to earn the right to wear the solar symbols on his barding.
“Harmony protects,” he muttered as he backed up a few paces. With a thundering charge he leapt over the edge of the cliff allowing his momentum to carry him onto the first rock.
It dipped under his impact as he scrabbled for a hold. Finding it, he hauled himself upright then leapt for the next one. He managed to easily step off onto the next. He made short work of the rest of the floating bridge, only having one heart stopping moment when he reached the far side and a rear hoof slipped, leaving him dangling by his forelegs. With a grunt he heaved himself up, not giving himself a moment’s rest as he sprinted towards where he had last heard the screams.
As he ran he felt his armor grow lighter.
Adrenaline, he thought to himself, coming up to a fork in the rough pathway he was following. A loud snarl prompted him to pull right. Whatever it was that was menacing the mare and her foal would meet his end at the tip of a lance.
The snarling grew louder as he rounded the bend. With a flick of his head, his visor came down; whatever was over there would get one warning and one warning only.
Before him was something out of a fairy tale. Large rocks floated haphazardly in the air with several equines crawling over them like ants. They were like the mare, with various shades of grey and dirty blacks making up their coat colors. Thunder Hammer could make out the mare upon one of the higher rocks, trying to climb up to the next one with her foal still on her back and two grey stallions pursuing her. With several more circling like dogs beneath them.
“Oi, you!” Thunder Hammer challenged, stamping one hoof against the ground like a bull preparing to charge.
The nearest grey one turned to look at him, and Thunder Hammer could see the same dull eyes. It snarled at him.
Savages.
He charged. A good proper charge, the kind where his vision narrowed within the confines of his visor to pick out nothing but his targets. The kind where his breathing slowed, even as his hooves lashed out at the ground beneath him, putting on more and more speed in the short distance.
The kind his old unit had made countless times.
At this point he didn’t even feel his armor, if anything his armor was beginning to tug at the straps upwards.
“Hell’s teeth!” Thunder Hammer shouted as he was lifted up into the air by his barding just before he turned the madpony in front of him into stallion-on-a-stick. He continued cursing as he floated rapidly up, his brain slowly putting the pieces together. The floating rocks worked by the same magic that had pulled him to the ground just before, but now it was in reverse. He tried to propel himself towards the nearest floating rock, ignoring the ugly snarls beneath him. Floating in the air as he was, the magic suddenly stopping would prove to be a problem. As a flap of chainmail neared a floating rock, he felt a slight tug towards it. Perhaps if he could get close enough to one of the larger pieces… He stopped flailing around and kept going skyward. He could only hope his opponent wouldn’t show up until he had sorted this little mess out, or better yet was having the same trouble he was. Thunder Hammer couldn’t have imagined a more vulnerable position to be in.
\—D—/
Quite frankly Ember was hwaving a blast. After narrowly avoiding getting electrocuted by lightning on her way off her island she’d found that the tall rocky terrain suited her hookshot just fine, allowing her to swing from place to place with ease. She was still checking out the island neighboring her starting point when she faintly heard some mare scream. She started off in that direction, her hookshot-swinging eating up the distance. She came to another crossing of floating rocks and without breaking her stride she swung across halfway before landing in a cartwheel on a larger rock and then firing off her hookshot mid move to the other side.
Man she loved that thing.
She heard the mare scream again, this time much closer. If her opponent was attacking some poor mare she’d have some words with him.
Real strong words, she thought as she swung towards the next high rock. Mid swing she glanced at her saddle bag, ensuring that a good sized hammer was within easy reach.
Strong words indeed. She was now on the island itself, the mare couldn’t be far away.
Weird, she thought to herself. This island had floating rocks actually on it, unlike the previous two. She went to land on one but was surprised when she overshot it by good few yards, going much higher than she had planned. On a hunch she let herself fall, her hookshot ready for use if she was incorrect. Instead of plummeting to the ground, she floated idly by her exoskeleton like the large pieces of what she assumed where metal-rich rocks.
“Magnetism? Way cool!” she shouted.
She heard somepony nearby cursing along with several ugly snarls. Using her hookshot to grab hold of the nearest rock, she pushed off with her back legs and flew over the last rise, taking in the terrified mare with two ponies after her and some moron in full metal armor with a ridiculous old timey spear thingie floating in the air with a string of “profanities” that wouldn’t make her grandmother’s ears curl. He also had two scary looking grey ponies slowly coming up the rocks after him, but he seemed more concerned that he was floating.
“Wait, are you my opponent?!” she asked incredulously. With the stallion desperately trying to grab onto a rock and floating around he hardly painted the picture of a warrior.
“The mare! Get the mare! She’s got a foal with her!” he shouted back.
Right, right the mare. She shot off after her two pursuers vaguely wondering if she should’ve stopped to help the stallion or maybe conked him on the head right then. But he was concerned about the mare like she was, so Ember figured she’d let the poor guy get his hooves under him again.
And then she’d conk him on the head. But first…
She didn’t bother to pull a weapon on the first grey stallion. He and his buddy had the mare cornered so neither of them was expecting some mare to come smashing into them with her back hooves with all the momentum of her swing behind them, Daring Do-style.
The one closest to the rock’s edge was pushed off, yelling unintelligibly the whole way down. The second recovered and reared back, striking out with his forehooves. Ember dodged the wild swings with ease, responding with two lightning swift strikes of her own into the stallion’s unprotected midsection. With a snarl he was back on three hooves, the fourth clutching his bruised ribs. He looked up with a hate-filled glare only to take two kicks to the head in rapid succession. He was out cold before he hit the ground.
Her opponents subdued, Ember turned to the terrified mare.
Or rather the mare’s backside as she quickly made her way down and away from her. Ember could hardly blame her for not sticking around. She probably wouldn’t either if she had a foal with her.
A sharp battle cry brought her attention back to the armored stallion.
He’d managed to reach one of the uppermost large rocks, finally halting his trip to the skies. His chainmail comically stuck to some of the more metallic parts of the rocks. Ember would’ve laughed it weren’t for the ash grey stallion standing over him and the mare not far behind.
“Guess I should go save his hide too.” She turned her tail to fire her hookshot when she heard a strangled snarl accompanied by more archaic cursing.
The armored stallion had a leg around the crazed stallion’s neck, slamming his head down into the rock while pulling himself up. Halfway up, his free hoof shot to his chest.
At first Ember thought the bad grey had actually managed to bite him, but when the hoof came away she saw the flash of metal.
All Ember could do was watch, spellbound, as the soldier rammed the knife repeatedly into the exposed ribcage of the grey, still caught in his headlock. The grey screamed in pain and backed up dragging the armored stallion the last few feet up. With a savage headbutt, the armored stallion disengaged from the mortally wounded grey and turned to the mare coming rapidly towards him. He dropped his knife and moved his head towards something on his side opposite Ember.
As the mare pounced he turned his head, a large steel war hammer freeing itself from the armored stallion. In a clearly practiced move, the hammer made a perfect ark before coming down just in time to be introduced to the charging mare’s skull.
With a sickening crunch that Ember could hear, the mare went limp. Her momentum carried her past the now visibly blood spattered stallion and off the rock. The stallion didn’t so much as look at the life he’d just ended, instead swinging around to bring the hammer through the air behind him. He staggered as the weapon was met with no resistance.
He moved back, confused. Treading on the grey he’d stabbed, it twitched. In a flash its skull was caved in as well. He stood there, his sides heaving until he seemed to notice Ember watching him.
“Weren’t there more of them?!” he shouted looking around.
“No…and the mare got away OK,” she replied, trying to regain her composure while the stallion retrieved his knife.
“N-not much of fighters were they?” was the shaky reply.
When Ember didn’t respond, he felt the need to continue.
“I remember seeing you with the other fighters.”
“I’m a contestant, and the future winner.”
That got the stallion’s full, focused attention.
“I am Thunder Hammer. Before we continue I must ask, why are you here? What is your great wish?”
Ember saw no point in lying.
“I want to find my dream stallion, and I have quite a list! The perfect stallion... Make my fathers proud,” she declared proudly.
“Then let us tarry no—did you say fathers?”
“Yeah, they’re two colts in love, that a problem?”
While Thunder Hammer stood there trying to piece that statement together, Ember considered her options.
She was no fool, Thunder Hammer could easily crush her if she let him get too close. She needed to maximize her agility advantage. Her thoughts drifted to the canyon just out of Thunder Hammer’s view. An idea began to piece itself together within her head.
\—D—/
“I suppose now we try and kill each other, Miss…?”
“Yeah, I guess so. The name’s Ember by the way, seeing as you want to…get to know me better,” the mare replied seductively.
Thunder Hammer said nothing, ignoring whatever it was the mare was playing. He decided he’d give her the first move; he needed her closer and she had the mobility. If he wanted to go on the attack they’d have to move to more favorable ground. As it was, he already felt strange standing on a floating rock.
“Are we to fight here on these rocks?”
“Your call, big boy. But if you go that way, the magnetism drops off.” She gestured in the direction she had come from. She smiled as a frown crossed Thunder’s face as she said ‘magnetism’. “It opens up into a big clear area,” she added.
The stallion seemed to think about it for a moment.
“How can I be sure you won’t attack me as I make my way there?”
“Oh come on, TH. I promise I won’t do anything to you yet.”
She smiled as he pursed his lips, but started making his way down.
\—D—/
He couldn’t stay in this canyon Thunder Hammer knew. All the advantages lay with the strange mare and her damned tail device. Even as he thought this, he heard the sound of it striking into the mountainside. Turning his head towards the sound he realized his mistake when the mare swung into his front side giving him the full force of the swing through her back legs into his chest.
With a grunt, Thunder Hammer staggered back a few paces as his chest plate took the brunt of the impact. Realizing the mare was still directly in front of him, he turned his body rapidly, trying to bring his lance cracking into the side of her skull. Instead, she ducked it easily, coming back up with a left hook to his jaw. Thunder Hammer reared back, lashing out with one hoof while the other went for his dagger. He was rewarded with a solid impact to her side, but it wasn’t a telling blow. He tried a stab with his dagger but she danced lightly back, already firing off and escaping by her hook shot.
“Get back here coward!” he shouted angrily.
“You want me back already, Thunder? I hope you’re better with your ‘lance’ in—“
Whatever the mare was going to say was lost to Thunder Hammer as he muttered under his breath, resuming his run.
“Gutter-minded harlot.”
“I heard that ya know!” her voice called from above.
Thunder Hammer had the presence of mind to duck as she swung low over his head, clipping the brush of his helmet.
He was definitely a dead pony if he stayed. All it would take was one slip, one break in his defenses, or too slow a reaction and she’d have him. He turned a sharp corner and could see an opening in the canyon. He made for it, running what he knew about the mare behind him through his mind trying to think up the best way to defeat her.
Finally clearing the canyon, he made out the distinctive cliff line of his starting island. The floating steps he’d taken earlier couldn’t be far. If he could lure her onto that island, and keep her there long enough, the ‘magnetism’ would give him the chance to finish her off.
He headed for the steps.
This time around he had managed to clear them without much issue. Of course the fact that Ember had simply swung over to the other side and was waiting for him hadn’t help. She ducked his swings at her and in turn he narrowly avoided getting tripped up by her hookshot. After he ran past her, Thunder Hammer tore at the straps of his armor with his teeth, his flank armor dropping off. It mattered little, those could be replaced. He was fighting with his front shaffron now, as he heard a voice call seductively from above some ways behind him.
“Oooooh! Work it, Thunder! Want me to help you get that off?!”
Thunder Hammer ignored the rapidly gaining mare and her remarks. As long as she kept following him farther into this island he didn’t care. A strap gave way and another iron plate dropped behind him in the dust.
He threw another glance back at Ember and saw that she had stopped chasing him, not sure what her game was he began to remove his under barding, chainmail and all.
“As much as I enjoy the view, TH, what’s your play? What magnetic effect does this rock have?”
Has she really figured it out that quickly?
“Well I’m sure you thought you were pretty clever but I’m not sticking around to get zap-fried.”
Thunder Hammer searched his mind for something, anything to get the mare to stay. He doubted he be able to catch her any other way.
What had she said, she has two stallions as parents?
“Run then, coward! I’m sure your coltcuddling family would love to have you back.”
He hoped that would work, dragging up an insult he’d heard one of his former troopmates throw around.
Ember stopped in her tracks.
“Excuse me?” she asked, turning around. Her voice lacked the joking ‘bedroom’ voice she’d been using. There was something in her eyes that made Thunder Hammer very conscious of the fact he was unarmored.
“You heard me! Your excuses for fathers weren’t stallion enough to find themselves mares so they settled for each other.”
Ember’s eye twitched.
“And then they settled for you.”
Her eye twitched again.
Thunder Hammer saw Ember’s head dip back to her saddlebags, she brought it back up rapidly and he had the sense to jerk his head to the side. He had a brief inclination of something flashing past his muzzle, a stinging pain, and something warm dripping down his face.
Was that a screwdriver?!
He threw himself to the right as another tool came flying towards him.
“Take that BACK!” Ember shouted at him.
Thunder! Get in there! Sergeant Bastion shouted in his head. Other ghostly voices chorused their agreement. He pushed the voices aside, he needed to stay focused and keep his head. Ember just had to stay engaged until the island’s strange ‘magnetic’ power kicked in.
That was of course assuming he didn’t manage to kill her before then.
You’re giving ground! You’re giving ground!
They were right, he was giving Ember all the advantages. It was time to go on the offensive.
Thunder Hammer charged forward, his hammer held firmly in his teeth ready to smash the mare aside. He faltered only once as he brought his hammer into the path of an oncoming wrench. Too late he realized his mistake, as his movement deflected the wrench; it also blocked his view of Ember. In those few seconds Ember fired off her hookshot and darted a few yards away.
Thunder Hammer grit his teeth as a screwdriver dug into his side. Luckily it had little mass behind it and only stuck in a few inches, but it was enough. He felt the familiar sensation of blood running down his side, the sharp pain, the alarm bells.
Breath in.
His vision began to grow rosy pink at the edges.
Breath out. Someone cried out for a healer.
Ember was yelling again, her voice sounding far away and slow, like it was underwater. She went for her saddlebags again.
Breath in. Metal clashed around him.
Another tool was heading his way, spinning end over end.
Breath out, duck left. Phantom shadows were on either side of him, preparing to charge.
He was vaguely aware of whatever it was flashing past his right ear but he was more focused on the rapidly approaching mare with a heavy wrench in her mouth. Dancing lightly back, he registered the whoosh of Ember’s first few wild swings. Stepping into the fourth swing he launched an iron hoof into her chest, aiming for the same spot he’d hit before.
He felt something give. Ember’s attacks faltered as she took a step back trying to put some space between her and Thunder Hammer. But the old soldier wasn’t about to let her get away that easily. He pressed his advantage, not giving her the chance to recover, changing his grip on the war hammer in his teeth and bringing it across horizontally, just catching the side of her jaw.
She missed a beat but managed to bring a hoof swinging around into Thunder’s side. She might as well have hit the side of a house. Thunder feinted forward with a war cry, forcing her back a pace, then swung for her temple.
Ember ducked the head of the hammer, but the seasoned campaigner was expecting the movement. Rather than follow the swing through, he dragged the studded butt of the hammer into the opposite side of Ember’s skull.
There was a sharp intake of breath and Ember tumbled to the ground. Thunder Hammer turned to his next opponent, but there were none, no swirling phantoms, no dying ponies calling out for Harmony’s mercy, nothing. There was only one mare trying to remember how to work her hooves.
A pony, she was real.
Thunder Hammer’s breathing leveled out as the last images of war filtered through his mind. He stepped away from Ember; she was beaten.
Or at least Thunder Hammer thought her beaten. He smiled grimly to himself as he heard the rumbling of the ground. He hadn’t needed it after all.
His guard was down and that was when Ember seized her chance. She sent a hammer spinning end over end directly at Thunder’s unarmored head.
He saw it coming, it would arrive before he could move out of the way. The mare plaguing his dreams would live on without him.
Then the hammer abruptly dropped to the ground, dragging Ember along with it.
The mare vainly struggled on the ground, each of her limbs firmly held to the ground by the weight of her exoskeleton. She tried to fire her hook shot but it only traveled a few pathetic inches before being locked to the ground as well.
The victor walked towards her, wincing slightly as the wound in his side announced its presence.
Ember’s head rested on the ground, she giving up the fight with magnetism.
“If you’re going to kill me, do us both a favor and make it quick.”
“You’ve defended your…family’s name well and for that I cannot fault you. However, I’m sure you’ve heard the term ‘spoils of war’?”
Crouching down, he opened one of her saddlebags, searching for something to throw over the wound in his side. Seeing something white, he seized it and brought it out. It was a slightly weathered piece of paper, creased from multiple folds, bent in places. He unfolded the page on the ground to examine it better.
He snorted derisively.
“What filth is this?”
“Don’t tell me you’ve never enjoyed some things on the seamier side of life? Why now is the perfect time to try something, I’m…defenseless,” Ember said seductively.
Thunder’s attention was on the paper, his eyes going over each line, his mouth wrinkling further in disgust as he saw the inanity. The selfishness.
“Your wish, was this it?”
“Yeah, it’s the only way I can find the perfect stallion for me,” Ember replied. She felt the downward pull on her limbs subside a little. She didn’t draw attention to it.
“You… You were willing to fight?”
He crumpled up the paper in his hooves.
“To kill me?”
Now would be her best chance, his back was turned, and he was distracted. Her limbs still felt heavy, but her adrenaline surged and the added strength from her exoskeleton gave her the power she needed. She launched herself at him just as he turned to look at her with nothing but anger in his eyes.
Quite simply, he caught her. He spun, using Ember’s momentum against her to slam her into the ground. There was an audible crack along with a scream as one of her outstretched forelegs bent at an odd angle as it hit the ground.
“You would’ve killed me for such a pathetic and self-centered reason as this! Of all the ignorant, corrupt, and inane things—”
He didn’t even give the bloodlust time to overtake him. In a single move that he had done dozens of time in battle he reared back on his hind legs. He brought his hooves crashing down.
Her head gave out like a sparrow’s egg.
Thunder Hammer stepped away from Ember’s still form and spat.
She deserved no honors, he thought bitterly to himself as he wiped the worst of the gore off his hooves.
Without a glance back, he gathered up his armor onto his back and headed towards another rumbling that must have been the doorway out appearing somewhere.
He made it unmolested to the door, although a madpony attack wouldn’t have hurt.
It certainly would’ve lightened his mood.
Next Chapter: I Was Not Prepared For This (Loss) Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 55 Minutes