Author's Notes:

Ok, first off, I'm sorry! There wasn't any reason begin me not posting this chapter. Besides the fact that I am a fucking idiot. How the hell did I forget to upload this chapter..?

~Ember, are you sure this is all necessary?~ Ruby asks just as I shove my pistol inside a pony’s left eye and pulled the trigger.

*I think a more appropriate question would be; “Why isn't all of this necessary?”* Came my witty retort.

Spurt

Aaaaand some blood splattered on me. Nice.

~You are truly insane.~ Ruby stated. ~You are truely insane to an extent I have only seen in a few ponies in my long life.~

“That mean you haven’t had anyone use you often?” I asked.

~... Silence.~ I snickered.

“Thought so.” Another bullet to a pony’s head and a buck to a door later, and after a fucking gauntlet of ponies doing their best to stop and, or kill me, I make to what I think is where these fuckers would keep Corey and Brit.

And how right I was.

But there was this large crowd that pretty much stood between me and my friends.

“Fuck me...” I empty my pistol into two ponies, there were only two bullets left, and then I thought ‘fuck it’ and pulled out the flame thrower. A nasty smile nearly split my face in half when I magically pulled the trigger.

FWOOSH

What happened next… It would’ve given me nightmares. If I haven’t seen shit like before.

But fortunately for me. I’m one sick, twisted son of a bitch. Like some weird masochist. Not that I get off on that shit, that’s disgusting.

No, I just kind of enjoy seeing others in pain. IN situations like these.

For example, if a guy walking in front of me down a sidewalk falls and busts his ass. I will laugh my ass off. Also, I really wanted to show those ponies my mix tape. It was fucking fire.

I regret nothing.

Anyway, I set the whole place, and a few ponies, on fire, I hear someone yell. I then grab Corey and Brit and teleport the tree of us outside the building.

“Not so fast you little bug.” If this one this idiot of a pony would kindly fuck off.

“The fuck you want?” I turn to the pony who just spoke. Only to get a knife to the chest. I stand there, my body and my brain taking a few seconds to process what just happened.

“Hrrk!” I stumble a bit and blood pours from my mouth. But not for long.

“You cause all of ]this!?” I spin my head and finally lay eyes on the offending pony. He was a large, a little shorter than Big Mac, fucker. His coat color of brown and grey hair made him look like the head honcho of this place. He probably is. “A little insect like you single hoofedly killed everypony?” He turned to regard me with a look of absolute disgust. I saw the anger in his eyes, it nearly made me giggle. “Who in tartarus are you?” I just smirked, despite the pain flaring in my chest every time I breath, despite the blood pouring from my mouth like a waterfall, despite all of that.

I smirked, I smiled, and I fucking grinned at the pony’s enraged face. Because I thought of how hilarious it’ll be when I show him who I really am.

I know I’m still a changeling, but they don’t know that. Or at least, I can make them believe that.

Oh! Yeah! Let’s make this guy think I’m a changeling! Well, let's remove the knife first... TH-there we go.

Fwoosh

The guy’s eye’s widened when I showed him my ‘true’ form.

“Like what you see?” I asked with a grin. “Or maybe you’d like to see a familiar face?” These guys wanted me to come here. It’d be stupid of me not to assume they would know what I look like. “Better?” I asked when I changed to look like my human self. The pony just stood there, too dumbfounded to answer.

“Y-you...you… changeling...” But he did have enough brain function splutter those words out.

“Yeah, kinda hard to believe huh?” I grin. He just kept spluttering half words and mumbles.

“Anyway, I gotta go.” I grab my pistol, reload it before the guy could recover, and put a bullet in his head. Effectively killing the last pony involved in this situation, I think. “I got some friends to save.” I then mutter as the body falls limply to the ground. I grab Corey and Brit, and teleport the three of us to my home before the building was consumed in flames.

“Oh my Celestia.” A pony whispered to himself once he left the burning building. “That human was a bucking changeling the whole time?” He kept running away from the building. He knew he had to get away. The guard are probably already all over that place.

*Maybe they’ll find the changeling before I do?* He thought, but quickly shook his head. *No no. I need to find that bug myself!* A look of determination made itself home on the stallion’s face. *I will avenge my friends. That thing will will pay for killing everypony.* He scowled at nothing in particular. *I’m gonna need some help though… Maybe... Rrrgh... buck it, the guard it is.*

“You two alright?” I asked as soon as I teleported the three of us home.

“Y-yeah,” Corey answered. “Just, can’t stop shaking...”

“Y-yeah.” Brit said.

“Don’t worry about it, you're fine now.” I managed to quickly untie the rope binding them and remove the blindfolds.

“Alright. Thanks...” Corey said. “What was all that about anyway?”

“Apparently those ponies have something against me.”

“Why?”

“No idea, but it might be because I killed the leader of that group. I think it was one of the pony’s grandfather or something...”

“Whoa, what, really..? Are you kidding? You’re kidding right?” I stare blankly at Corey. “What the fuck have you been doing?”

“Recently? Not much. But back then, this prick Prince Blueblood hired some ponies to kill me. Skip a few deaths and now I’m probably the prime suspect of arson.”

“Uuuh, do I want to know what for?” Corey uncertainly asked.

“I now own a flamethrower, that’s all you need to know. Just don’t say that if a few guard come to you asking questions about me.” I said.

“Alright. But jesus fucking christ dude. I thought I was a damn trouble-maker.” Corey said with a smirk.

“When you live here for as long as I have, and when you’ve done things that I have done, shit can hit the fan really quickly.” I reply without any facial expression. He and Brit tried laughed it off. But at one look at my expressionless face and they knew what I really meant.

“Oh, wow. You’ve really done some shit huh?” I shrug and offer a bored expression.

“Meh, more like what shit’s happened to me in the past.”

“Like what?” Brit asked.

“Corey, stay inside when spring comes along.”

“... Why?”

“Mares in heat will do anything to get their hooves on a guy.” It took both of them a solid minute to connect the dots, but the gears turning in their heads cranked up the speed just enough to process my hidden meaning.

“Oh...” Brit said slowly.

“Oh.” Corey said, realization almost hitting him.

“Oh! Oh!” They both said as it dawned on them at the same time.

“Oh god! Really!? That happens here?” I nod.

“Yeah, and let me tell ya, the mares get really fucking frisky.”

“Really? Wait, does that mean..?” Brit asked.

“Oh, god no. Six of them just chased me until log lodged itself inside my abdomen.” Both Corey and Brittany stared blankly at me.

“Alright, dude, I know a bunch of crazy shit happens. But there’s no way in hell that really happened.” Corey said blankly.

“And I don’t make this shit up. They chased me to the point that I flew to the fucking forest, fell out of the god damned sky, and literally crashed into a fucking branch in such a way that it penetrated my back and came out my fucking stomach.” I didn’t see them pale under their fur. But their faces told me everything. “Yes, things have gotten to be that fucked up for me.”

“... But how the hell are you still alive then!?” Brit asked. “I know we’re anthros and all, but, just how?” I thought about it for a second. I was to either chose to tell them that I literally turned myself into an extremely organized mass of nanobots, or tell them it was because of magic that I survived an otherwise one-hundred percent fatal ‘flesh wound’.

“... Magic.” Guess what I choose!

“... Really? Magic? Magic saved your life?” Brit said as she crossed her arms, under her breasts. Oblivious slut…

“Yes, magic saved my fucking life. And in fact, it just saved both your lives.” She and Corey threw me questioning looks. “How do you think we ended up in my house so quickly?”

“Weren't we in some building in close by?” Brit asked. The traces of a smug grin forming on her lips.

“We were at that fucking castle on that mountain in the distance.” I point out the nearest window. “And I set the building we were in on fire. That’s why you see smoke over there, not here.” I elaborated before Brit could question me more.

“... Alright, you made your point, magic is awesome.” Brit said with a decidedly cute pout.

“Good. Now I’m gonna need you two to go out of town for a while.”

“Oh, ok… Wait. What, why?”

“Corey, a hit man, or fucking pony, organization just kidnapped you to force me to surrender to them. I think you two need a vacation.”

“Ok, good point.” He relented.

“Yeah, I kinda agree with you.” Said Brit. “But… where are going to go?”

“Don’t worry, I got a few ideas. But first...” I snap my fingers and my magical double appears next to me. “There! He’ll be taking care of things from now on.” As soon as the spell took effect my two friend’s jaws dropped. “Oh yeah, and there’s also this.” I reverted to my changeling form. “Transformation spell.” I said. I then transformed back into my human form using the spell.

“Minds blown yet?” My double asked. He was a changeling too, how..? “Magic...” He said towards me.

“Right… let’s try that again.” He nodded and promptly disappeared when I snapped my fingers. It’d be pretty pointless to have my magical double rely on good vibes to live, wouldn’t it?

I cast the spell again and the double reappears.

“Much better.” He said. “Let’s get this shit going now.” The other me then guided a very mind-blown couple out the front door.

“Now, let’s deal with some possible police accusations.” I smile bitterly to myself. “Or maybe even a pony I didn’t kill back at the building.” I thought about. Since this world is pretty much a live cartoon show…

“Fuck me, vengeful pony it’ll be...”

~Oh, please!~ Ruby groaned. ~You killed every, single pony that got in your way!~

“Doesn’t mean I didn’t kill everybody ruby. There has to be a few survivors that still want me dead. And come on, this place is as predictable as my digestive tract. There’s bound to be a shit storm at some point.”

~... That was an awful joke, and you know it.~ Ruby deadpanned.

“Yeah, I know.” I snickered. “I’ve always like shitty jokes.” I laugh out.

-Ok, seriously Ember, stop it with the shit jokes. They really stink.- Embris laughed. I heard Ruby groan when Emby interjected.

=Poop jokes, not as good as fart jokes, but still funny.=

~Not it is not!~ Ruby shouted. ~It’s foalish!~

-We’re not ponies, we don't give a fuck.-

~Ugh!~ I bet if ruby had a body, he’d throw his arms up in frustration. Me and my counterparts just laugh.

“You know that is very disturbing to watch, right?” Spark asked from fuckin’ nowhere.

“Then don’t watch me talk to myself.” I reply without missing a beat.

“Fair enough.” She shrugged. “What are you going to do now?”

“Well, for now, wait. See if any guards come to me to ask questions about some building that was set on fire. Something like that.”

“I see… How do you know they won’t find you a prime suspect?” She ventured. I smirked back at her.

“I made a few precautions...”

“What can you tell me detective Print?”

“Well, Lieutenant Strong Hoof, I honestly have no idea what could have caused this fire...”

“Pardon?” The guard asked disbelievingly.

“Yes, you heard me right.” The detective said with a heavy sigh. “There isn’t any trace of any kind of spell that could’ve caused the fire. There isn’t any evidence that could lead to the cause of the fire.” Both ponies let out a frustrated grunt. “But… there was something, peculiar...”

“... Well?” The guard asked said expectantly.

“The bodies we found… it was determined they perished before the fire.”

“Explain.”

“A number of them had small… holes around their bodies, most of them were concentrated around the cranial and chest area. It was almost as if whoever did this had… we really have no clue as to what weapon it could be. It also seemed whoever, or whatever, did this removed any kind of evidence.”

“Clever bastards.” The guard said off to the side.

“Indeed,” The detective agreed. “Another note, we noticed that quite of few of these little wounds were clustered on a few ponies.”

“What does that mean?”

“It could either suggest more than one ponies were involved in this massacre. Or there is some unheard of magic at play here... It would explain the lack of any magical signatures...” The detective mumbled.

“I see… And what about any witnesses?”

“We only have one that came forward. We suspect there to be many, since this building used to be a night club.”

“Ah, and where is the witness?” The detective stallion pointed to a colt standing with a small group of guards.

“We’ve had him detained since he admitted his involvement in this crime.”

“I see… thank you Detective Hoof Print.” Hoof nodded as Strong cantered over to the small colt, the guards around him nodding his way and parting, allowing him to talk with the colt.

“What’s your name?” Strong asked.

“Swift Strike.” The newly named colt replied.

“Are you willing to tell us what exactly happened here? You will receive benefits if you do so.”

“More than willing.” Swift responded.

“Good colt.” Strong smiled. “Now then, can you tell me who, or what, caused this fire?”

“Yes, sir.” Swift nodded. “It was the human, Ember.” At this sudden new development. Ever guard within hearing range froze.

“... Run that by me again?” However, Strong Hoof was more confused than anything.

“It’s true!” Swift exclaimed. “I saw him burn this place, and a few ponies, to the ground!”

“How are you so sure?” Strong asked. He found it extremely difficult to believe this colt.

“He had grey feathers and weird lookin’ eyes. And he had this weird box looking thing that spewed the fires.” The colt said. Much Strong’s, and many of the guards, disappointment and dread. “But that wasn’t all...” Swift then said.

“What is it?” Strong nearly hesitantly asked.

“Apparently, he’s a changeling.” At this point every guards jaws dropped to the floor.

“Now that is just donkey dung...” Strong said dryly.

“But it’s true!” Swift said in an almost desperate tone. “Put a truth spell on me if you need too! You need to believe me!” Swift fell to his hind knees, his front hooves grasping the front of Strong’s chest armor. Strong grunted in annoyance and shoved the colt away from him.

“Enough of the theatrics. We’ll see if you really are telling the truth.” Strong said. “Guards, on me, we’re escorting the colt to interrogation.” The stallion eyed the colt critically. “You better hope to Celestia you’re telling the truth. Or we’ll throw you in the dungeons for wasting resources and slander.” Swift gulped, then nodded as he was taken into custody and taken to Canterlot Castle.