Again with that one pony!

God damnit, this one pony with peach fur, brown hair and eyes won’t stop following me! And they think I haven’t seen them!

Ugh, anyway. With that one pony, an earth pony, following me ever since I changed back to human form, the twins lead me through this bustling city and right towards a two-story brick building. The red bricked building looked as if it was just built, like many others beside it. It was really unremarkable when I looked at it. Looks more like an apartment now that I think about it.

“Vell, here ve are!” Lotus said. Waving a hoof towards the building with a flourish.

“Then where’s that pony we’re waiting for?”

“Ve do not know.” Aloe said. “She was supposed to be here already with that letter I sent her.”

“Then maybe ve should wait sister.” Lotus tried to alleviate her sister a bit. Meanwhile I just keep looking around. My head swiveling almost one hundred and eighty degrees to the left or right. Still looking out for peachy.

“Viat! There she is!” I heard Lotus call out. I turned my attention to the two ponies I was on a ‘business trip’ with and looked at who they were looking at.

FUCKING PEACHY!

“Um… hello there.” The pony, a girl, said weakly when she was within hearing range.

“Greetings,” I thought not to say the exact same thing, it always weirded me out when stuff like happened, then it gets awkward. “you’re the pony selling this building?”

Well, it’s already awkward for this pony.

“Y-yes,” She stuttered. “I-i’ve been trying to sell this place for a w-while now.” I smiled nicely and sat down indian style; legs crossed.

“Oh, come on. I don’t look that scary, do I?” I said. Might as well play along with whatever charade this pony is putting on. “After all, I’m just helping out a few friends.” The pony looked at me with a cocked eyebrow. “I speak Germane.”

“Ah… I see… Then please, I know they understand Equish, and that they speak it too. But their accents make it hard for me to understand.” She said.

*That’s it? Wow.* “Alright, let’s get started then...”

The ordeal went more smoothly than I expected. I guess after I cleared up the whole ‘Not understanding accent’ thing. The twins got the place and went right inside to check out the place. Something about needing to inspect it for damages. While they were in there the pony and me were left outside.

“So why were you following me?” I asked out of the blue. Keeping my glazed locked onto the future spa.

“Wh-wha!? How did you-”

“I always keep watch of my surroundings.” I awesomely answer. I then looked to her expectantly.

“O-oh! Well, I was.. Uh… I was following you because… I wanted to ask you something.”

...

... Really? That’s it. That’s why she was following me this whole time, driving me to the point of near insanity? And that was all she wanted. I simple fucking question!?

“Uuuh… you ok?” A peach hoof waved across my face, bringing me back to reality.

“Yes, I am perfectly fine.” I felt my lower right eyelid twitch. “What would you like to ask me?” I force a smile.

“Ok… where did you come from? And how are you still human?” She asked.

“Alright, one: That was two questions.” I laughed. “Two: I think you already know just by the way I sound that I’m american. And three, I ended up here because of some failed teleportation thing back on… You’re a human too?” I asked while narrowing my eyes at the pony.

“Yes!” She leapt up to my waist. “And you have to help me!” I pried her off of me and stared skeptically.

“If you really are from my planet. Then what specifically am I?” Only Twilight and the girls know this, if she does, then she’s from my world.

“You’re an anthro, an owl one.” Wow, ok. That was quick.

“Ok. What do you need my help with?”

“Can you take me back home?” She pleaded.

“Sure.” I said, remembering that scroll I still posses.

“Please! I’ll do- what?” She did what I exactly expected her to do. Downright hilarious.

“I said I’ll help.” I reiterate. “What? You thought I wouldn’t?”

“Uuuhm… Yeah...” She hung her head a little.

“Bah! Don’t worry about it!” I reached down and scratched right in between her ears.

“Gah!” She flinched away. “What was that?” She reach up and placed a hoof right where my hand was.

“Ponies are sensitive there. They say it feels wonderful.” Came my response.

“Oh… don’t do that, it feels weird.” She grumbled while her cheeks tinted a light shade of pink.

“Alright.” I laugh a little. “So, just to recap. I am taking you back to Earth, correct?” The pony nodded eagerly. “Ok, what’s your name?”

“Amy.”

“Cool, I’m Ember by the way. You want to head home now or..?”

“Yes!” She jumped a little. “... But I have to pick up some things from my apartment.”

“Alright, you know where Ponyville is right?” She nodded. “Just head there when you’re done getting your stuff. Hopefully when we go you turn back into a human.”

“I hope so too. This… pony body… eeeyugh...” Amy looked down at herself, seemingly disgusted at her own body.

“Is it that bad for you?”

“No, it just feels so alien, but normal at the same time.”

“Ah, I know the feeling.” She peered up at me curiously. “I’ve turned into a pony a few times.”

“Oh, at least you get to turn back into a human whenever you want.”

“Yeah, aren’t I the lucky one.” I roll my eyes. “You know what? I think I got an idea.”

“... What might that be?” Amy hesitantly asked.

“If I can turn you back into a human… Hmm… I don’t want to force you to do anything… so how about you reconsider leaving this place if I can get you your human body back?” Amy’s eyes grew wide and her mouth gapped open.

It also took her a while to process my deal.

“... You’d do that for me?” She whispered.

“Yeah. Why not? And besides, there are few things I need to talk to you about in private.”

“O-oh… Like what?”

“How long have you been here?”

“About a year, why?”

“‘Cause there’s a lot I need to tell you.” I cryptically answer.

“Ok...”

“Ok! Let us go! We need to go out and do some shopping!” Aloe said when she and Lotus joined us.

“But that vill tomorrow. Right, now, ve need to plan the layout.”

“Right sister! Come on Ember. Let’s return to Ponyville!”

“Alright.” I turn around, only my head facing Amy. “Just remember to ask around, and you’ll find me in no time. See ya!” I waved with my wing and walked after the twins.

“Hey Ember.” Chrysi greeted when I sat next to her. As soon as my ass met the couch, my dogs were on me. Each of the taking their positions around me.

*It’s times like these I feel truly relaxed.* I reminisce. “What’s goin’ on on Cops today?”

“Some stallion with white skin and blue pants was fighting against a few cops before getting tazed.”

“So nothing new?”

“Nope.”

“Alright.” I laid back in my couch and close my rest, planning to rest my eyes for a bit. Hmhm, something I haven’t done since high school. Besides daydreaming, resting my eyes was a good way I found to waste time. And I had nothing better to do. I practically fell asleep right on the spot.

Good god, I was a lazy bastard. Well, I still am, a little bit.

“Hey, Ember. Someone’s knocking on the door.” I’m ripped from the land of ass and titties when Chrysi nudged me on my shoulder.

“Can’t you get it for once?” I grumble while keeping my eyes closed.

“Ugh, fine.” Chrysi huffed and got off the couch. I then heard her and some other familiar voice converse, but I didn’t care enough to try and listen. I was trying to get back to titty land.

“Ember!” Ugh… fucking shit. “There’s somepony here to see you.” I heard her state from the other side of the living room. “She said her name’s Amy.” At that my eye nearly bug out my head. And I swear I heard glass breaking.

“Alright, I’ll be there.” I groan and get up from the couch. With my dogs following me I head to the front door. “Hey Amy.” I saw that she had a large bag draped over her back. “Come in. You can put your stuff on the couch or something. Then we’ll head off.” Amy nodded warily and I lead her to the living room, all while the dogs swarmed her. It was actually kinda funny. Once that was done, and when I got the dogs to leave Amy alone, we left and headed straight for Twi’s castle.

“Where are we going?” The human-turned-pony asked.

“To Twilight’s castle.” My answer apparently made her gulp audibly. “Why?”

“N-nothing… It’s just, why her?”

“Well, she’s better than me at magic. And I’m a hundred percent sure she’ll turn you back into a human.”

“But… I saw you change yourself into a pony.”

“That’s because I know how to cast spells on myself. Same can’t be said for casting some spells on others. The transformation spell being on of them”

“Oh. Ok.” Just then a devious idea hit me.

“Have you ever teleported before?”

“What? No.” She peered up at me suspiciously. “Why?” I smiled evilly and snapped my fingers.

*POP*

Before Amy could move a muscle I teleported the two of us to the main room of the castle; the room with the table-map. And it just so happened that Twilight was reading some book when we arrived.

“Hey Twilight.” She jumped slightly. She’s so jumpy.

“Ember! Don’t do that!” Ok… so she didn’t hear us teleport in. Wow, tunnel vision must affect her ears too.

“Do what?” I feign ignorance.

“That… nevermind. What are you doing here anyway?”

“Perfect of you to ask.” That sounded way better in my head. “‘Cause, you see, this is Amy, and she’s a human.”

“... Really Ember? Again with the pranks?” She deadpanned.

“Twilight,” I said, using her name for affect. “Since when have I played any pranks on that involve a pony you don’t know?” A little too specific, but this is Twilight I’m arguing with.

“... Good point. So she is a human?” I nodded and she got a little giddy. “Then why is she a pony?”

“No idea, she said she turned into one when she got here.” Twilight gave a perplexed look at Amy. Who shrugged in response. “Anyway, we’re basically here because we made a deal that, if we can turn her back into a human, she would reconsider going back to Earth.”

“Oh? Well this should be simple then. Just hold still please, both of you.”

“So the transformation spell doesn’t do the gender swap thing?” I asked, Twilight shook her head.

“No. The spell identifies genders and leaves… That aspect of the body alone.” She answered. At least she left out the ‘finer details’ as I’ve come to call her ramblings.

“Good, so can you please?”

“Of course!” Twilight beamed. She got up from her chair and faced us. Amy was starting to get a little worried for some reason. But a reassuring nod got her to calm down somewhat. But when Twi covered us in her magic, Amy really started freaking out. And by that I mean she started panting and her eyes darted all over the place. I just keep looking right at Twilight giving her my best ‘I don’t give a fuck’ face. From the corner of my eye I saw Amy’s eye land on me, somehow, just from that, she regained her composure, although just a little bit. I can still spot a few shivers here and there across her body.

Soon, a blinding flash filled my vision and I immediately look to my right. Waiting for the dots to go away. As soon as my vision was clear my jaw dropped.

Amy’s a gorgeous dog anthro, rottweiler to be exact.

Stippers would kill for a body like hers.

Gay men would go straight to be with her.

Straight women would go gay for a night of fun with her.

And she completely naked.

She was a nice d-cup. Same could be said for her tits.

What? I’m an ass man. I rate asses by breast size; it’s my thing. But going back to the topic at hand, Amy was naked.

“AAAH!” She screamed. She covered her private parts the best way anyone would. One arm draping over her breasts and her other hand covering her lions.

“I think we might need to get her clothes.” I tore my gaze from Amy and looked to Twilight. Who was blushing furiously.

“A-ahem. It appears so.” She coughed, somehow familiar with female human anatomy. Did she go to Brit or something? “I can take you to my friend Rarity. Don’t worry, she’s a professional.” Twilight tried to comfort Amy.

“Yeah, just don’t mention anything about human clothing and you’ll probably be fine.” I snicker when Twilight glared at me.

“What did you mean by that?” Amy asked.

“Nothing he meant nothing bu that… uh… I don’t think I ever got your name...”

“Oh. It’s Amy.”

“Amy… Huh… And I thought Ember’s name was weird.” Again with Twilight whispering to herself when we can hear her. I fucking knew Amy heard that too. If her glare directed at purple smart said anything.

“I could say the same thing about ‘Twilight’.” Me and Amy said at the same time. “What?” We did it again. “Sonofabitch.” We both groaned.

“But seriously Twilight. I thought we went over this last time.” The blush that formed on the pony’s cheeks threatened to take over her face.

“I know, it’s just… What do your names mean?”

“There is no meaning!” I snap. “As far as I’m concerned, our names just define who the fuck we are! And to us Your name is just a synonym for midnight for god sakes!” I was glaring daggers at Twilight, who was shrinking back in fear. I sigh and felt myself slouch a little.

*I get mad the dumbest things…*

-Yeah, you kinda do.-

*Not helping.* I growl. The womanly voice in my head laughs.

“Ugh… let me know when you’re done getting some clothes. I’m going home.” I rake a hand over my face as I teleport home. “I really need to cool off… Maybe now is a good time to my hands of some explosives… Nah… I need, something else. Something that these ponies don’t have, well, for a human anyway.”

“I’m headin’ out! Be back later!” Ember yelled from somewhere in the house. That guy is so weird sometimes. One moment he could be all nice and happy, and an instant later he’s mad about something. Is that how humans behave? I’d like to think so. Oh, who am I kidding, humans have to be like that. Unless, they’re not and he’s crazy…

Nah… He’s pretty alright to me.

“Go fuck yourselves!”

CLACK

TIC-TIC-TIC-TIC-TIC

OH! Finally that idiot’s tazed!

Concern, why is Ember leaving? He seemed to be pretty upset at something.

Worry, he has that parchment that lets him travel between this world and Earth.

Relief, he said he’ll be back. He will be back.

Wonder, why is he going back to Earth though? He can just check up on his army with that book Discord created.

Suspicion, what is he doing?

Hope, he better not get in trouble like last time. I don’t think taking Discord with him was a good idea.