Author's Notes:

I know it's short, but it's the first ever Lyler short. I'm... kind of sorry? I mean. Ugh. Just take it already. No justification in the world gets people ready for this shit.

Bon Bon would kill you if she ever found out about this.

Here you are, out on a date with her marefriend, who is now currently drunk off her rocker. You are just lucky that they don't live together.

Yet.

You carry the aquamarine pony back to her home, while she loses her stomach on your shoes. Arriving at the home, you slowly let down Lyra so she can stand on her own four hooves. She sways back and forth, and knocks on the door as hard as she can. Why is she knocking on the door of her own home?

The door swings open to reveal who could have been Lyra's twin.

"SEESTEERR."

Could have been.

This pony had a noticeable slur to her words and her eyes have a vacant feel to them. Lyra stumbles into the house, ignoring the family member.

"HAY, mah name is Lyyyler."

You stare at the mentally challenged family member of Lyra.

"Uh... Hi... mine is Anon."

Slipping by her you ascend the stairs to Lyra's room. You couldn't help but get the creeps from her sister. Lyra lays on her bed, half passed out.

"Annnon. I wan you to comere an FUCK me..."

"Is that the alcohol talking?"

"Does it mattah?"

She spread-eagles her legs and motions you over with a hoof.

"Lyra. You are drunk. If you really want this, see me when you are sober."

"Nooooo!"

You walk out of the room and close the door. Before you head back down, you peek back in on the mare of your dreams. She's already passed out, with drool running down the side of the bed. Such beauty cannot be truly understood by mortal man. Heading back downstairs you run face to face with the other aquamarine unicorn.

"HAY!"

"Uh. Hi."

"Where you goin?"

"Home."

"Wanna fuck?"

She looks up to you with the same bedroom eyes that your love showed to you. If she didn't open her mouth, she could easily be mistaken for Lyra.

"Are you single?"

"I'm dating BERN BERN!"

"Close enough."

She leads you up to her room, making the floor wet with drool. Maybe this would be quick and easy. You could probably convince her not to say anything. Then it could be just like screwing Lyra.

As you enter her room, she turns to you.

"Youu just lay on the bed and I get things."

"Uh. Ok."

You lay on the bed, wondering if you should have thought with your dick for once in your life, and be in Lyra's room. When she walks back into the bedroom, you see that she has completely ruined her face with makeup, and is wearing a fairly nice set of high-heels. It almost distracts you from the giant paddle she is carrying.

Oh shit.

"Ahm gunna make your NO-NO's happie!"

You get up to leave the room, but she hits you in the face with the paddle.

"Shit! Lyler stop!"

She gasps and looks at you wide-eyed.

"You said a bad-bad."

This shit will be the end of you. Trying to make your way through her to the door, she begins to hit all parts of your body with the paddle. You double onto the floor in pain. She takes a high heel and begins to press the heel directly into your dick.

Your screams of pain only encourage her more as she takes advantage of your weakened state by hitting you with the paddle even more. Once your face is bleeding, she rips off your pants and exposes to you her smelly, crusty marehood.

"Lick me!"

"I think I would rather just die."

She pushes her flank directly into your face and lets out a large fart.

That probably would have been the least weird thing of the night if you were into that sort of thing. Taking the paddle, she begins to slap your manhood as hard as she can until you are in tears and cannot speak. Lyler tears off your pants and begins to slowly grind her teeth along your manhood.

"Please... just stop... I wanna go home."

She doesn't seem to hear you. Out of desperation, you try a new tactic.

"Lyler. The seaponies are on TV."

She jumps to her feet.

"MY FAVEWITE!"

As she sprints downstairs, you hold your crotch and try to hold your broken arm as you limp your way home. You probably could have gone your entire life without having to get to know,

Fucking Lyler.