Today is a special day. A wonderful, glorious day in Equestria. In fact, it’s a unique day for those who live in the town of Ponyville. Today is your Arriversery. Or, at least that was what Pinkie Pie was calling it. You have lived in this world for five years now. So, naturally, the ponies that you’ve come to know in this town have decided to throw a huge bash in honor of… well, you. The only human in Equestria.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t excited. You aren’t usually the type of person who particularly enjoys parties. Usually when you go to a party, you make your way to a corner and drink quietly. But instead, today was a day about you. So as you’re locking up your house, you can’t help but feel a smile curl on your lips. Today should be a good day.

“ANNNEEERRRNNNNNN!”

Oh fuck.

You turn around and begin to walk back to your house. You know, the ponies don’t really need your existence today. You can just go home. Hide. Maybe hang yourself. You know. Fun things.

“ANERN TODAY IS YOUR DIRT BIRFDEY. LETS DO TENDIES!”

“Fuckfuckfuck” you mutter under your breath as you power walk away from the power retarded horse that you know is behind you.

A sudden 50lb mass strikes your back, and you fall to the ground.

“Hey Lyler,” you groan.

Sure enough, the mint green mare with a tousled mane… which for some reason has several worms and a fork stuck in it, sits on top of you, her hooves tucked underneath her body. You only know that because all four seem to be digging and kneading into your spine.

You take a deep breath and sprawl out your limbs, prepared to accept your fate.

“ANERN IMMA BE YOUR BES FWIEND TODAY.”

“Great. I’m so excited,” you mutter. “Can you get off my back?”

“NO!”

Not accepting No for an answer, which coincidentally those charges in court were dropped, you roll to your side, and Lyler slides off your back with ease.

“WAT WE DOIN, ANERN?!”

“Well,” you growl, dusting yourself off. “We need to go talk to Pinkie, I was going to grab a bite from Sugarcube Corner. Then I need to stop at Mr. Rich-”

“FILTHY!” Lyler screams. “HE BANNED ME.”

“Yes. That’s right, Lyler. You did get banned from his shop. Which means you can’t follow me.”

“IM A KANGAROOOOOOO!”

You blink at the horse, which sits up proudly, puffing out a tuft of floof that seems to be stained with mustard.

“You know, I don’t know why I try,” you mutter, turning on your feet. “If you follow me, I’ll just ignore you.”

“I’MMA MAKE ANERN HAVE BEST DAY EVER.”

“Holy shit this is going to be the worst day ever.”

You walk through the streets of Ponyville, with Lyler walking in tow. Each of the ponies watch as Lyler literally follows in your footsteps. She’s playing a game that she only can put her hooves into the places where your footprints are.

“THE FLOOR IS TIC-TAC-HOOF.”

“Very good, Lyler,” you mumble. “Won’t Lyra be proud.”

It’s at moments like these that you can’t help but look back on how much your life has changed. When you first met Lyler, it was when she was literally locked in her home at all hours of the day to hide… well. Her.

Now, she may be a public menace, but you’ve grown a weird tolerance for the mare. You just seem to be more and more used to her bullshit. It seems like she’s gotten less random, more cute and more… what’s the word….

“ANERN I NEED TO MAKE POOP WATER.”

Nevermind.

“That’s not my problem, Lyler.”

That’s almost never true, but you aren’t her caretaker today.

“IT’S OKAY. I’LL MARK OUR TRAIL SO WE CAN FIND OUR WAY HOME.”

“Wait, wha?”

You look over your shoulder and then immediately glance away. A thin watery trail of shit is now falling onto the roads of ponyville and seems to lead directly to Lyler’s butthole. For now, you’re going to try to ignore it. This isn’t going to be the thing that ruins your day. It won’t.

You turn a corner, see Sugarcube Corner, and then run like a fat kid following an ice cream man. Or the way I grew up, called the Ding-Ding man. It’s not a racial slur, I swear to christ. (It was because his bell went ding-ding.)

The bell of the small cafe and pastry shop dings on the way in, and you attempt to brace the door behind you. The good news is that the door is successfully braced. The bad news is that Lyler leaps through a nearby window, a trail of shit propelling her forward from her butthole like a brown rocket trail.

“HELLO WORLD.”

“Oh my god,” you yelp in surprise.

“Wheee!” Pinkie exclaims in glee. “SURPRISE WINDOW ATTACK! It’s super effective!”

“Hi Pinkie,” you mutter. “Sorry about the window.”

“Eh,” Pinkie says with a positive shrug. “I’m sure Ponyville insurance will cover it. Or something. I have no idea how they stay in business. But that’s not important because today is your Arriversary!”

“Yeah!” you say, moving from the door to the counter. “And I could use a good day for a change. Life’s been tough recently. Work and everything.”

“ANERN I JUMPED THROUGH THE WINDOW IT WAS FAST.”

“Yeah, Lyler, I saw.”

“I WANTED TO SHOW YOU HOW COOL I AM.”

“Good.”

Pinkie looks from Lyler to you, gives a wry smile, then focuses back on you.

“Her crush on you is just adorable, Anon.”

“More like crush my windpipes, am I right?” you chuckle.

Pinkie blinks, looking from you, to the horse who is now coming to her feet, looking around at the broken glass on the ground.

“IS THIS ROCK CANDY?”

“Yes, Lyler,” Pinkie calls to her. “We changed it to rock candy after last time.”

“YAAAY!”

“You really switched to rock candy?” you ask Pinkie.

“Yeah, but that’s not what’s important, Anon,” Pinkie says, her face concerned. “How long have you known Lyler?”

“Too long,” you mutter.

“Yeah, but I mean. It’s been a long time. Years.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you never realize she had a crush on you?” Pinkie asks.

You blink, looking from Lyler as she licks the glass off the ground, back to Pinkie.

“Huh,” you say blankly.

“You’re joking,” Pinkie says quietly.

“I mean, like. It answers a lot of questions. Like why she won’t leave me alone.”

You blink and then look back to Pinkie.

“Okay, I think I’m ready for some breakfast.”

“Wait, are you just going to ignore that this pony, who comes to see you almost every day for years at a time has a crush on you? Like. This could create a long, convoluted story that you could tell your children one day about how you met their mother.”

“Uh. No. There are SO many things wrong with that. First, I don’t think of Lyler like that. Two, I’m not having sex with Lyler. Three, I don’t think humans and ponies can have kids.”

“Have you tried?”

“Is that an invitation?” you ask, leaning over the table.

“Uhh. No. On second thought, what can I order you for breakfast.”

“Oh, uh. Toast, two eggs over easy-”

“CHOCOLATE MILK.”

“And… yeah. Two chocolate milks.”

Pinkie slowly blinks at you, then sighs.

“Take a seat. The party is at Twilight’s castle at five. I’ll see you then!” Pinkie says, moving back to the kitchen.

“But, like. Aren’t you the waitress? Isn’t that kind of awkward to say if-”

The door to the kitchen closes and leaves you with a small teal pone licking your shoe. You look down to Lyler.

“YOU STEPPY ON GLASS CANDY.”

“I don’t think I stepped on the glass.”

She picks your foot up and sniffs the bottom of your shoe.

“NOOOSE CANDY!”

You sigh and move to sit down at a booth. One by one the other ponies that were eating a meal in the shop make their way out of the restaurant. Great. Lyler sits across from her, and sways back and forth in her seat.

“So, what are you planning on doing today, Lyler?” you ask.

“FOLLOW YOU.”

“Great,” you mumble sarcastically. “Shove anything good in your cooch recently?”

“YAAASSS!” she exclaims. She reaches a hoof down under the table and pulls out a black marker and puts it on the table. A small trail of slime moves from the pen to her hoof. “SHARPIE IN COOTER.”

You blink.

“You put a sharpie in your cooter?”

“NOT JUST SHARPIE.”

A moment of silence fills the room as you wait.

God damn it. Okay. Now you have to ask.

“Okay, what else do you have in your cooter?”

Lyler reaches down under the table again. This time, she seems to bend her hoof one way or another and then pulls out a fully wrapped oat and granola bar.

“GRANOLA BAR IF ANON GET HUNGRY.”

Well, there went your appetite.

“Well, thank you for being so… thoughtful,” you reply. “I don’t see any need to ask what else is in your vagina. Thank you.”

“SECWRIT PAWKET POWERS!”

“Lyler, what have we said about adding W’s to your words,” you say in disapproval.

“DAT IT MAKES ME SOUND WIKE A FWURRY!” Lyler says innocently.

“That’s right, and what are furries again?”

“FOOD!”

“No, Furries aren’t food.”

At that moment, Pinkie steps forward and places a plate in front of you and two glasses of chocolate milk on the table.

“Here you go, Anon. Your breakfast is already paid for.”

“Oh! Well thanks, Pinkie. I appreciate it.”

“Don’t thank me, Anon,” Pinkie says with a smile, looking to Lyler. She turns and then makes her way back into the kitchen.

You look down to your food and the milk. Then you look up to Lyler. Her hoof is deep under the table, and fishin around you know where.

“Lyler, please.”

“SHUUUSSSHHHHHHHH,” Lyler yells, waving her slimy hoof at you. “LET IT HAPPEN.”

“I don’t like this,” you mutter.

She reaches down in her pussy pocket and rips out, I shit you not, a candle, candle stand, and a box of fucking matches. You sit back in your seat, as she takes a match, strikes it on the back, which clearly didn’t work because of the vaginal discharge on the box. She then took another match, which worked this time.

Lyler stared at the fire in her hoof for a hot second. This was because the fire was hot.

She shakes her head, as if snapping herself out of something, then lights the candle and puts on the candle holder. The candle distinctly smells of french vanilla and bruised labia.

“ROMANTIC BREAKFAST.”

“Okay,” you say. “I now see where this is going. Lyler, did you buy my breakfast?”

She nods vigorously.

“Lyler, is this a date?”

Lyler blinks and tilts her head.

“WHATS A DATE ANERN.”

“Well, Lyler, see, when a boy and girl pony like each other very much-”

“THATS FUCKING.”

“Lyler, don’t say that.”

“YOU SAY IT ALL TIME.”

You blink and then rub your eyelids for a moment.

“Lyler, we’re just good friends, right?” you ask.

“BEST FWIENDS.”

“Nothing more.”

“YEEEEE.”

“Okay. Then, can I ask you something? As a best friend?”

“ANYTING.”

“Leave me the fuck alone today.” you growl.

Lyler’s ears turn down and she leans back.

“Oh.”

“It would really make my day.”

“CAN I COME PARTY?”

“Sure,” you say. “I mean, all of Ponyville is invited. So It would be rude of me to say no.”

Even if you want to.

Lyler then farts loudly.

“OKAY! I SEE YOU AT PARTY ANON HAVE GOOD DAY!”

Lyler then leaps through the nearest other window and leaves you alone with glass in your eggs and toast.

You pick up a piece and taste it.

“Holy shit, it is rock candy.”

You walk into the post office, where a familiar gray pegasus with a blonde mane stands on the other side of the counter.

“Hey Derpy,” you say with a smile.

“Oh, hey Anon! Here to get your package?” Derpy says with a smile.

“I have a package? I was just getting my mail.”

“Yeah, hold on.”

Derpy disappears into the back before re-emerging with a package. You can’t help but cringe at the sight of what’s in the pegasus’s hooves.

The package is crudely wrapped with red wrapping paper, but let’s be honest, you suck at wrapping too. But what’s more concerning is that it’s leaking out of the side and there’s holes in the top.

“Oh, good.”

“Yeah, I think this is from-”

“Lyler.”

“Yeah,” Derpy says, scratching the back of her mane with a wing. “Well here you go! Just sign here.”

She places the package and a document on the counter. You scribble on derpy’s paper and then pick up the box, which is surprisingly heavy, sloshes inside, and has a light odor.

“I gotta say, Anon. You have a really sweet mare friend if she’s doing something this special for you.”

“The fuck did you just say?” you snap.

Derpy’s eyes go wide and then do their best to focus on Anon.

“Just. She had so many surprises planned around town for you. And. Oh. Wait. I wasn’t supposed to. Oh no.”

“No. The other thing. Marefriend.”

“Well, yeah. You two are always together.”

“Stop. Right now. Cut that shit out. I’m not dating Lyler. Never would.”

Derpy’s eyes noticeably move to the floor.

“Oh.”

“What?” you ask. “Why is this such a shock? I’m not going to date her.”

“I dunno,” Derpy says with a frown. “I guess seeing how someone as cool as you was dating someone with… well. A handicap. It gave hope for… me.”

Are we really fucking doing this right now? What the fuck? Where did this come from?

“I mean. You’re a great mare, Derpy. I’m sure there’s a lot of stallions out there who would love to date you.”

“Well, Anon. Since you’re not seeing anypony,” Derpy says looking up to you. “Will-”

“WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME. EYE, I MEAN I WILL SEE YOU AT THE PARTY LATER. BYE.”

And in a zip-bang-boom, you’re out the door.

And to your surprise… Derpy was right.

You make stop after stop in the market. At Quills and Sofas. At City Hall. Sweet Apple Acres. And in every single place there was a nice, wholesome surprise. You take your now, literal wheel barrow of shit (Literal in the fact that the Apples gave you a wheelbarrow for all the surprises, not that it was filled with shit. Easy mistake in a Lyler story.) and you stow everything in your house. You can’t help but smile and be vaguely concerned at all of the nice things that have happened today.

What does it mean?

You stand outside of Twilight’s castle. The sun sets slowly over the horizon. You feel a tense feeling in your chest. If you’re lucky, it’s a heart attack and this will be your final moments. But sadly, the only ache in your arm is your wanker’s cramp. So you aren’t so lucky.

Ascending the stairs, your mind is filled with all sorts of questions with no meaningful answers. But, the one that sits in your mind the most is… what is on the other side of this door.

So you open it.

“SURPRISSEE!” A room full of ponies yell.

You blink.

“Uh. I knew about the party, guys.”

“THATS WHAT MAKES IT SURPRISING!” Lyler screams, and then enters your vision.

Wait no. That’s Lyra.

Wait. no.

That is Lyler.

She wears a long and flowing golden dress. Her mane is straightened, cleaned and braided. You don’t smell her, even though she’s half a room away. Your mouth opens, and she leaps into the air. You extend your arms, and you deftly catch her.

“THIS IS JUST LIKE MY JAPONIES ANIMES.”

The room gives off a collective ‘Awww.’ and you let go, letting Lyler drop to the ground. However, like some sort of stunted cat, she lands on all four of her feet, then falls to the ground like a scared sheep.

“Now let’s get this par-tay started!” Pinkie screams.

The music pulses and the ponies begin to go about their business. You help Lyler back to her hooves again.

“You got really gussied up, Lyler.”

“RAWRITY HELPEDED.”

Your eyes move across the room and you see Rarity sitting alone at a table, a bottle of wine in front of her and a large wine glass being held in both of her hooves. She stares blankly into the drink.

“You poor soul,” you mumble.

“I’MMA PRINCESS.”

“Well, good. Now I think I’ll get some food.”

“NO FOOD ONLY BOOZE.”

“What?” you ask looking to Lyler.

“I COULDN’T AFFORD FOOD FOR PARTY SO I GOT LOTS BOOZE.”

She holds up a granola bar to you, wearing a wide smile, and you slap it out of her hand.

“Okay, what is this?” you ask.

“WHAT?” she asks, taking a step back. “I MAKE ANON GOOD DAY.”

“No, you’re making all of this really weird. We aren’t dating. This is too much.”

“BUT ANERN NOT DATE LYLER. WE GOOD FRIENDS.”

“Yeah, but everyone here fucking thinks we are. And I’m sick of it. What if I find some mare that I like and I lose whatever chance I have because I have you being my tumor.”

“LIKE A GOOD TUMOR?” she asks.

“No like a cancer. Lyler. You are fucking cancer.”

The music scratches.

“Well, that’s a new academy record.” Spitfire mutters in the corner of the room. Rainbow shakes her head at the fellow wonderbolt.

You look around at the room who is glaring at you angrily.

“What? Don’t tell me you hadn’t thought it before. There’s a reason Lyra kept her hidden from the world.”

“Actually,” Lyra steps forward. “I kept Lyler hidden because I was scared that someone in the world would hurt her, or make her ashamed of herself.”

“Oh, come on. I’ve said much worse things to Lyler and it never hurt her…”

You look back, and your friend is gone.

“Feelings.”

You stand outside of Lyra’s house. Honestly, you aren’t fully sure where Lyler is, but the massive pony sized hole in the window was a pretty good hint. You turn the knob. Locked.

“Oh god. Do I really have to do this?” you mumble.

You look over the window and see all the shards of glass inside. You pick a piece of glass from the window and taste it. Yep. Tastes like blood. That’s real glass. And now you’re bleeding. Great.

You back up and leap through the window that’s already broken. You can’t make it any more broken, so fuck it.

You recognize the interior of the small home from the many times you’ve been inside it. You head down the hall, and see the bathroom door closed. Inside, short, quiet wimpers come from the cracks in the door.

“Lyler?” you ask, knocking gently.

“Go away,” she mumbles.

Oh no, she’s using her inside voice.

“Lyler? I’m going to come in. I want to talk.”

“Please don’t. I’m naked.”

“Sweetie, you’re always naked.”

There’s a quiet sniff from the other side of the door.

“Is it okay that I come in?”

There’s silence from the other side of the door. You wait patiently for a moment.

“You know that if you’re shaking or nodding your head, I can’t hear you.”

Another moment of silence.

“If you just nodded or shook your head to answer, I need you to tell me if you can use your words.”

…

“Okay, I’m just coming in.”

You step into the bathroom. One of the very first places you ever met Lyler. The golden dress she wore before was tossed into a corner. She sits in Lyra’s bathtub, the water filled and hopelessly overflowing with bubbles.

“I used too much bubble,” she says sadly. “I droppeded the soap.”

“Well, you know what they say about dropping the soap,” you add cheerfully. Lyler looks down at the tub. “Listen, Lyler. I owe you an apology.

“No, you don’t, Anern. I mean. Anon,” she says. “You right. I no have chance with Anern. I never try. But I not want to… make Anon die alone.”

“Lyler,” you say moving next to the tub and sitting down beside her. “That’s not going to happen. And if it does, it won’t be your fault.”

Wow me, thanks for the vote of confidence.

“I no wanna hurt Anon chance with Mares.”

“You haven’t, Lyler. I do that to myself.”

You sit on the floor, looking at the ground.

“Derpy said at the mail station that you have a crush on me.”

“Yeah…” Lyler says quietly.

“She’s a good friend to you,” you say.

“Yeah…”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” you ask.

Lyler looks up at you blankly.

“I always say I love you when I go away.”

“R-right,” you say struck off guard. “I guess I don’t remember-”

You look to the ground and are struck by a smooth memory.

“LYLER WHY DID YOU PUT A CAT IN MY SHOWER.”

“YOU MAKEA DA POOSEY WET.”

“LYLER WHY.”

“I GO BYEBYE NOW ANON I LOVE YOU.”

“Oh,” you mumble. “I guess I just didn’t… understand.”

“I’m okay with die alone. But I no want Anon die alone.”

“Lyler,” you say, turning toward her again. “You aren’t going to die alone. You have so many friends now. So many more than when we first met. You’re your own mare now. I’m always going to be in your corner. Even if not as your stallion friend. Or whatever. Because that’s what best friends do.”

Lyler’s head turns up, and she faintly smiles.

“yeAH?” she asks, her volume increasing.

“Yeah.” you smile.

“YEAH?”

“YEAH!?” you scream with her.

“BEST FRIENDS FOREVAR?!”

“BESTEST FWIENDS FOR FOREVERS” you shout with her.

She laughs and lays back into her bubble bath.

“Is that better?” you ask.

“KINDA YEAH,” Lyler shouts at the ceiling.

“I gotta ask though, what was in that package?”

“LYRA DILDO. I FOUND IN DUMP AFTER TOILET DAY.”

You blink.

Okay. That’s one more thing to burn.

“Thank… you?”

“BES FWIEND.”

“Well, Lyler,” you say standing up. “I think we really… got the chance to talk and lay out some strong emotions, and I’m happy we did. But I feel bad that I was such a jerk to you today. Is there anything I can do to make your day better? Tendies? Movies? I can find Rarity and we can try to make you a Princess again. I’m sure nothing else can break her even worse.”

“SEX WITH LYLER.”

The bathroom goes silent, although, you swore you just shit yourself.

“Excuse me?”

“SEX WITH LYLER. LYLER IS VEGAN.”

You cough.

“You’re a virgin. But you shove so much.”

“HORSES NO HAVE HYMN.”

“Oh.” you mumble, although nothing in your mind has been fixed. In anything, things have broken even worse.

“You want to have sex with me?” you ask.

“LYLER NO EVER FIND SOMEONE SEX WITH.”

“Now you don’t know that,” you mutter, trying to push yourself out of a lose-lose situation.

But she looks up at you with these innocent eyes. And you pause. Streaks of tears are dry and crusted on her face. She is wearing a bold but determined smile. Is she consciously aware of what she’s doing? Does she have the power to give this sort of consent?

Okay brain. I think it’s time we have one of our talks.

‘Okay, Anon. It’s been a long time we did a talk like this. What’s up?’

Is sex with your best friend bad?

‘Good question, Anon. I’d say no! As long as all parties are sober, aware of what they’re doing, and everything is communicated. In fact, sex with close friends can be some of the most fulfilling sexual encounters a person has in their life.’

Okay, now how about sex with Lyler?

‘Fucking what?’

Yeah. I’m pretty lost.

‘This is the Lyler horse that’s punched you in the dick a lot and vomited in your mouth, right?’

Yeah.

‘And you want to have sex with her.’

I MEAN. It’s been a long time.

‘Okay, fair. But this is Lyler.’

And, wouldn’t it be better to be a close friend who actually cares about her feelings than some random horse?

‘Okay, fair. But this is Lyler.’

And, I mean. She cleaned up. She doesn’t smell. She’s literally taking a bath right now.

‘Okay, fair. But this is Lyler.’

I know.

‘This could be the weirdest thing you ever do in your life.’

I know.

‘She’s mentally handicapped.’

I know.

‘And why do you want to do this?’

You look down at the small horse with a wide smile as she looks up at you. Reaching your arms into the bath water, you slide them under the mare and lift her into your arms.

“ANON WHAT DO?”

“We’re gonna have sex.”

“WOAH.”

“Right?”

“YEAH. THIS IS BIG DEAL.”

“Right?”

“LIKE YOUR PENIS.”

“Well, I mean. Thank you.” you mumble. You open the door to the bathroom and move down to the last door on the right. Lyler’s room. It’s a mess, not unlike what it usually is.

“WAIT!”

Lyler leaps out of your arms and then takes Mr. Boom Boom from a nearby windowsill.

“Oh god.”

She turns him 180 degrees.

“MR BOOM BOOM IS NOT 18 YEARS OR OLDER TO ACCESS THIS WEBSITE.”

You raise a hand to comment, but decide this isn’t the moment to break your bullshit meter.

“Okay, Lyler,” you say gently. “Now, we’re going to take your virginity. But we’re going to do it at your pace. We’re not going to do anything you don’t ask for. I’m not going to do anything you don’t ask for. Okay?”

“OKAY!” she says, leaping onto her bed.

Oh god why?

“So, how do you want to start?” you ask.

“PANTS OFF. I WANT SUCK PEEN.”

“Oh.”

You look down to your pants. I’m so sorry little buddy. You reach into your pants and jerk yourself for a second to give yourself a half chub. You take a deep breath, and drop your pants and underwear. The air is cold against your dick, but you walk forward to Lyler, who watches your dick like porn on the discovery channel. Probably because you’re basically an animal, and the discovery channel is a filthy porn channel.

You move closer to her, but still far enough away that she has to come closer. You aren’t going to force yourself on her, no matter what.

That said, Lyler leaps off the bed, and wraps her whole mouth around your whole penis., balls and all.

“Oh jesus christ,” you mutter in surprise.

“THWAT GOOF?”

That’s when the excruciating pain starts, as Lyler has not learned to not use her teeth.

“NO TEETH! PAIN. OW.”

“WOWWY.”

Lyler’s tongue swirls all over your privates, and you have no idea what to make of this sensation. It’s good. Like, not great. But good. She’s clearly inexperienced. It vaguely reminds you of being in high school on Earth, hiding in the back by the bleachers with the captain of the chess team, but she was way less demanding and Lyler isn’t laughing at your dick.

You actually feel yourself growing harder in her mouth. Her eyes light up and she looks up to you.

“THIF IF HAWD.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” you say gently.

“TAFE GUD BUT JAW HUWT.”

“Okay, then you can take it out.”

Lyler lets go of her iron grip around your penis and smiles happily. A trail of saliva trails from the tip of your dick and her tongue.

Holy shit, how was that hot for, like, a second. Not like the moment with the candle, but. Whatever.

“SEX NOW?!” Lyler asks.

“Okay, sure,” you say with a smile.

“HOW?!”

“Well, I mean. I put my penis into you, and then-”

“NO WHAT POSITION?!”

“Well,” you say quietly. “I guess you get to choose.”

Lyler blinks then looks at the bed. She crawls up onto the bed and lays on her back with her legs up in the air.

“I LIKE THIS WAY.”

“Okay,” you say, crawling onto the bed. You take your shirt off and crawl between Lyler’s legs and she places her front hooves on your shoulders. Her mane is still wet from the bath and lays to the side. She looks up at you, nervous, but smiling that signature dorky smile of hers.

Oh god. No. You aren’t falling for Lyler. Sex isn’t love. Lyler is your best friend. And you’re doing something as a matter of trust. This isn’t feelings. Not those feelings.

“ANON LETS DO IT.”

You line your dick up to her entrance.

“Are you sure?”

“YEEE.”

“Okay. Here we go.”

You shove your dick into Lyler’s pussy.

In that moment, two feelings wash over you. Shock. And Pain.

You pull your dick out of her, and covering your dick are at least a dozen small boomboom prickles.

You blink.

“OH SAWWY.”

Lyler pulls the little prickles off with a quick glow from her horn, and pulls a few more out of herself.

“Lyler,” you say in surprise. “Your magic.”

“WHAT MAGIC?” she asks.

“Lyler. You did magic!”

Lyler looks up to her horn, then opens her mouth wide in pride.

“I DID MAGICKS.”

“YEAH!”

“OWO WHATS DIS?” she screams, grabbing your dick with her magic.

“Oh no.”

She then plunges you deep inside of her.

You feel your whole body ragdolled around the grip around your dick. And honestly? It feels really fucking great. You try to regain your focus and composure and begin to make measured, even thrusts into Lyler. Her tongue pushes her way out of her mouth as her breath grows more and more ragged.

You feel yourself push yourself deep inside her and her back arches upward in pleasure. The magic from her horn dissipates, and now you can’t help but smile as you see her losing herself to the pleasure of the moment. You continue your thrusts in even, deep, and hard measures.

“ANON!” she cries out. “THIS IS AMAZING.”

“Yeah?” you ask.

“I THINK IM GETTING CLOSE.”

“Really?” you ask. It’s been like two minutes. But, it is her first time. Who knows. Maybe she is this easy to get off. Well, if she’s this close. Might as well put a little more umph into it. You close your eyes and push yourself at your own pace. Her body tightens around you, but she still feels slick and smooth. Her breath against your skin smells of spearmint and is warm. Her gentle moans fill the room, quieter than her normal voice but strangely sensual and… cute. For Lyler.

Honestly, this is really nice. And you feel yourself honestly getting close yourself.

Then, you feel a set of lips press against yours.

You open your eyes, and sure enough, Lyler pushed her face to yours and placed her lips on yours. Feeling yourself go over the edge, you let your seed loose inside of the mare. Her body tightens and her limbs tremble. Her hooves wrap around your head and hold your tightly for a moment. The seed emptys out of your cock in burst after fulfilling burst. Then she relaxes and falls to her bed in a heap. She smiles widely, her eyes looking into yours.

Should you say something about that kiss?

“How was that?” you ask.

“AMAZBALLS!”

You chuckle and lay down beside her on the bed.

“Well, good.”

“GOOD FOR YOU TOO?”

You look at the ceiling of Lyler’s room and let out a light sigh.

“Yeah. It was good.”

When you wake up in the morning, you sit up and find yourself still in Lyler’s room. The mare lays still, cuddled up to you. Her mane is a complete mess, probably because of drying in the position it all night. Also the sex.

You gently get out of her bed and pull your clothes together.

As quietly as you can, you put all your clothes on, and step out of her room, closing the door behind you. You tiptoe down the hallway and exhale.

Well that happened. And honestly, it was kind of nice.

“Hello, Anon,” Lyra says.

You freeze, looking to the source of the sound. Lyra sits at the dining room table, holding a mug of coffee. There’s another mug of coffee made, sitting across from her.

“Why don’t you sit for a moment?” Lyra says.

“Uh…”

“It won’t take long. I promise.”

You move to Lyra’s kitchen table and sit down in front of her. She takes a sip of coffee and glares at you.

“Do you think I’m a good sister to Lyler, Anon?” she asks.

You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

“When I turned of age, my parents were going to get a divorce. They stayed together just until the ‘good daughter’ could move out. They divorced. I moved out, and they tried to send Lyler to an asylum. Instead, I volunteered my life to take care of my sister.”

You hold your mug of coffee.

“I never doubted if I was a good sister or not until you began to make comments about letting Lyler out of the house. You’ve done a really great job at socializing my sister with the world, and it was something I was horrified of doing. And for that I can’t thank you enough.”

You blink, looking back up to Lyra.

“You’ve been an amazing influence for her. And I as much as I hate to admit it, I owe you more than I can possibly give for that.”

You nod.

“Well, of course-” you begin to say.

“But if you ever, ever hurt my sister the way you did yesterday again. Or eradicate the confidence that’s taken so long for her to build. I will personally destroy you. Got it?”

You nod, gulping.

“Then I just have one more thing I want you to think about.”

You blink, unsure how to process or absorb anything of what is happening right now.

“It’s hard for me to find a stallion who… well. Actually doesn’t mind Lyler. I’d need to talk to her about… well. A lot of things now. Thanks for that. But. If you’d like to go out some time… I’m always open to the idea.” Lyra says.

She rises from her seat and then walks down the hall.

“Hey, Lyler? Lyler!”

“WHAAATT?!”

“It’s time to wake up!”

“I DON’T WANT THE PICKLES.”

Lyra sighs. And walks back out of the hall.

“You’re still here?” she asks.

“Oh, uh.”

You down your coffee and rise to your feet, heading toward the door.

“Yeah. I guess I’ll see you two around.”

You open the door and step outside.

Well, it’s a beautiful and lovely day in Equestria. You’re not really sure how to handle life at the moment, but one thing is for sure.

The more and more you got to know the mares in the house behind you, the more chaotic and random your life became. You woke up every morning not sure what was going to happen or where the world would take you. It kept things interesting to say the least, and you got pissed off. A lot.

You’ve been vomited on, pissed on, shit on, covered in mystery fluids, hurt, hospitalized, and all sorts of strange torture. But right now, you feel a different sort of sensation deep in your heart.

You feel happy.

And that’s strange. Especially for you. So, for now, you have a lot to think about. There’s a heck of a lot of things that you don’t know. But for now, you know that yesterday Lyler set out to make a really good day for you. And she did.

So, who knows what the future holds. All that you know is that right now, the world is looking as bright and fluffy as the cotton candy in the attic. And you wouldn’t change a single thing.