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The Dazzlings Are Insane

by Justice3442

Chapter 36: And Now to Focus on Lyft!

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Author's Notes:

Not that it's critical or anything, but this chapter takes place immediately after the first chapter in Totally Random!

“~I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance~”

Sunset Shimmer jumped slightly as the music played from her phone and looked down. She cringed as she read the name ‘Adagio Dazzle’ on the phone screen. In a move she found somewhat ironic, Sunset had given the Dazzlings all an air-raid siren ringtone, but Adagio likely got ahold of her phone at one point and changed the ringtone herself. Well, whatever the reason was for calling Sunset, apparently it warranted a phone call. As the music played, she considered ignoring the call. Phone call or not, it was unlikely to be an emergency and much more likely to be a headache in the making.

“Ooo! Ooo! Is that, Dagi?!” An excited, bubbly voice asked to Sunset’s right. Pinkie giggled. “She loves that song!”

Sunset sighed internally and glanced at Pinkie who grinned excitedly.

“Tell her I said ‘hi!’ Ooo! And tell her ‘I’ is ‘Pinkie Pie! Ooo! Ooo! Remind her that ‘Pinkie Pie’ is the girl with the curly pink hair who likes to throw parties and is also one of the girls partially responsible for her losing her siren powers…” Pinkie suddenly reached over for the phone. “Maybe it’s just better if I talk to her!”

Sunset cringed and picked up her phone. Talking to Adagio was inviting disaster. Letting Adagio talk to Pinkie was like calling disaster over to crash on your couch for a week next to the bucket of cocaine and your ‘fragile vases on top-heavy pedestals’ collection. She swiped her finger across the green ‘answer’ dot on the front and brought the phone up to her ear. “What is it, Adagio...”?” she sighed out.

“Wow… Good morning to you, too!” Adagio replied.

Sunset’s lips instinctively tightened and she went slightly cross-eyed. “It’s past 2 in the afternoon.”

“Right! Morning!” Adagio chirped.

Sunset groaned.

“Tell Dagi ‘Pinkie Pie says ‘hi’’!” Pinkie exclaimed excitedly as she leaned forward, beaming widely at Sunset at about half an arm’s length away.

“Is that Pinkie?!” Adagio suddenly shouted.

Sunset cringed slightly and pulled the phone away from her ear as she shot her phone an annoyed look.

“Yes, Dagi! It’s ME! Pinkie!”

“Pinkie!” Sunset growled out. “You don’t need to ye—”

“HI, PINKIE!”

“HI, DAGI!”

“Ahhh!” Sunset cried as she covered her ears for a moment. She quickly lowered the phone and fixed Pinkie with a glare. “Pinkie! Stop screaming in my ear!”

“Whoopsie…” Pinkie replied with a sheepish smile.

Sunset slowly raised the phone back to her ear and shifted her irritated look back towards the phone. “What do you want, Adagio?”

Adagio replied in her typical, slightly sultry tone, “Well, I’d hate to interrupt sexy-fun-times with all your girlfriends…”

Sunset found herself glaring up into her eyelids. “We don’t have sexy-fun times, Adagio. We just have regular fun-times.”

Adagio sighed. “My, my, how droll. Well, I don’t feel as bad about interrupting regular fun-times with you and your gang.”

Sunset glanced to her right. “Actually, it’s just Pinkie and me.”

“Oh?” Adagio replied. She let out a chuckle. “Are you two out on a date? I didn’t think Pinkie was your type…”

“What?!” Sunset spat out. “No! We’re just hanging out and watching TV.”

Ooooh… So, you’re not busy then.”

Gah! DAMNIT! Sunset thought. How is she so good at being a manipulative bitch?! I’M the one who’s supposed to be good at being a manipulative bitch! “Well, we have plans for later.”
“So you two are dating!” Adagio asserted without missing a beat.
“GHAH! Okay… Just… What do you want, Adagio?” Sunset bit her lip and braced herself, half expecting Adagio to break out into the same song that served as her ringtone. This would be particularly cringeworthy as Adagio was still somewhat tone-deaf from losing her siren powers.

“I need a ride downtown.”

Sunset paused for a moment. That was a pretty simple and reasonable request… Too reasonable. In fact, it was a request Adagio shouldn’t need Sunset or her friend’s help fulfilling. “Why don’t you just call a taxi?”

Sunset could almost hear the eye roll on the other side of the line. “Oh, sure! And I can save money on heating bills over here by just filling the fireplace with money and burning that!”

Sunset huffed out a sigh. “Fine! Get an Uber, then!”

“I can’t,” Adagio said. “They have a strict ‘no having sex with the driver’ rule now.”

“… Why would tha- Were you planning on having sex with whoever comes to pick you up?!”

“Well, not planning, per se. Still, it’s nice to have options.”

Sunset scowled at her phone. “You’re the reason Uber has that policy, aren’t you?”

“As flattering as that would be, I’m sure I’m not the only person who got hot and heavy with their driver.”

“What do you need to go downtown for, anyway?”

“Well, if you must know”—

“Ooo!” Pinkie exclaimed as she bounced up and down. “Does Dagi need a ride?! Ask her if she needs a ride!”

Sunset cupped a hand over the bottom half of her smartphone. “Shhh! I got this, Pinkie!” She returned the phone to her ear.

— “so I thought no one’s ever touching that record and had a plaque made up for myself.”

“… Wait, I didn’t catch all of that,” Sunset said. “Plaque for what?”

“‘Most Uber Drivers Slept With’,” Adagio answered.

“… Nope. Not doing this!” Sunset replied cheerfully as she pulled the phone away from her ear and pressed the red ‘hang up’ button.

Aww…” Pinkie uttered in a disappointed tone. “So we’re not going to hang out with Dagi?”

Sunset’s lips pulled open into a wide, slightly unnatural smile and she prepared to answer with a cheerful ‘No!’ That is until…

“~If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends
(Gotta get with my friends)
Make it last forever, friendship never ends~!

“Oh! That’s Dagi's ring-tone!” Pinkie beamed excitedly as she reached into her curly mop of hair, pulled out a phone, and answered it. “Hi! It’s me! Is it you?!”

Sunset’s eyes opened widely.

“Hi, Dagi!”

Sunset raised an index finger and opened her mouth.

“Oh, it’s fine! I’m just hanging out with Sunset as she screams at the TV and talks to you on the phone! Oh, but you probably knew that already! Hehe.”

Sunset’s finger dropped and she closed her mouth.

Pinkie gasped excitedly. “I’d LOVE to present your award in an impromptu ceremony!”

Sunset slumped her shoulders and let her head go limp.

Eeeee! I can even decorate! … Well, of course, I can spell out ‘Most Uber Drivers Slept With’ with balloons, silly! Who do you think you’re on the phone with?! Uh-huh? Uh-huh? Sure, I’ll ask!” Pinkie turned towards Sunset. “Hey, Sunset! I’m going to pick up Dagi and present her with a plaque! Can you believe she slept with more Uber drivers than anyone before they put up that rule? I mean… no one is gonna touch that record, now!”

Sunset simply let out a low, continuous grunt in reply.

“Anyway, Dagi wanted to know if you wanted to come with! Oh, huh?” Pinkie pulled the phone a little closer to her ear. “Oh! Apparently, I was supposed to waggle my eyebrows at you when I said the word ‘come’, so, ‘Dagi wanted to know if you wanted to come with!’” Pinkie repeated as her eyebrows bounced slightly.”

“… I’ll go get my jacket…” Sunset said in a defeated tone.

Next Chapter: Oy Vey Sonata Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 4 Minutes
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