Author's Notes:

Number of Edits: 2
Editor: Isumo1489 We ask all to thank this Pony for improving our tentacle typing, It brought us tears from strange emotions.
Number of Oc's: 1
Mr. Flexington (Mr. Tourge) by: Isumo1489

Gatherings, Stories and Crystal Coup
Hyperion Moon Base – Administration Wing Meeting Room
*Handsome Jack’s Point of View*
:sigh: I have endured, the last fourteen minutes, of the first HOUR of debriefing, from F.A.U.S.T. That is, of course, not including the suggestive ‘thoughts’ spoken aloud by Nightmare Moon. Who to my mild surprise, had been looking forward to my return for a good while. But the current emotions I’m feeling right now fall between anger and frustration for a couple DIFFERENT reasons. So, naturally, I had to ask the question and didn’t feel like leaving the bridge of my nose un-rubbed. “Faust, why…WHY?!?! Why did you RECREATE several of THE MOST DEADLY CREATURES EVER found on PANDORA!?!?! LET ALONE DROP THEM IN FORMER FILLIGLADE?!?”

The answer I heard could not have been more twisted, perverse, or surprising coming from the sudo-A.I. “Because this action was able to keep our processors busy for the first century…with the added bonus of testing the creature’s effectiveness against the local equine populous, while simultaneously ensuring that only the most foolhardy or prepared individuals would have a minimal chance of survival. In addition, this also prevented the theft of any Hyperion property, assets, or real estate, even scrap metal.”

Tilting my head finally, I just gave her a look. The kind of look that even a blind being could read as ‘are you fucking with me?’ The expression that, to my knowledge, could not be rivaled by anything else in existence. Then again, I’ve been wrong before, if I ever do find someone who can beat what I was giving my trusted A.I. Faust at this time…well, first things first. “You got bored, with- WOULD YOU CUT THAT OUT!”

Twisting my head to the side, Nightmare Moon just ‘HAD’ to lick my neck…I don’t know if I should find it disturbing or arousing, being looked at as some holy grail of salt. Guess it’s just the perks of being me, right? Has she kept that aggressive ‘predator’ personality she was boasting about when she was Luna? Or maybe it was a front, but I KNOW a grope, especially when it’s a tall deity female throwing THAT kind of look at me. Honest truth, I might even start considering ‘trying’ the ‘locals’…considering how backed up I’ve been, let alone after being stone without anything to keep me occupied, but my own thoughts.

“Nay we shan’t!! For our affections for thee shall be known, even hoping thy positive demeanor returns.” The half lidded look with her smile ‘almost’ made me want to use my [Merger] ability to blast her into the wall…on second thought, she might enjoy that. “Well I ‘MIGHT’ think on it LATER, when I’m not at a heightened risk of being turned to stone again or imprisoned in that Tartarus place, or whatever. Though, they should know by now that they can’t kill me or wait for me to die of old age.”

A slight shift in my eyes sent a tingling pin prick through my brain…which was followed immediately with a heated poker of titanium right into my frontal lobe. “FUCKING FRAGMENTED PIECES OF PAIN! *gasp* I HOPE you’ve at least figured some way of helping me with the pain F.A.U.S.T., let alone the gibberish this mark’s been tattooing inside my skull! And what about that Siren bitch, Lilith or whatever she was called? The one who, if you recall, fucked my face up when Celestia attacked the Facility, giving her a chance to get in!” Rubbing the area did nothing, yet a hand from Nightmare Moon replaced my own appendage, sending a soothing wave that eased the pain.

With a shake of her head, F.A.U.S.T. confirmed something I’d guessed myself, either the Siren was some summoned being from another plain or another Displaced sent here. Or, she had it out for ME…the original me… for whatever reason. Granted, I wasn’t exactly a paragon of virtue back in the day, but THAT kind of hate that follows you between worlds is kinda impressive as it is scary. The point is I am NEVER going planet side again without an army. But of course, some better news was waiting while I looked out the window, see a mostly completed Helios One stationed to orbit in the dark side of the moon. “I know I’ll regret asking this, but why do my synthesized doubles look EXACTLY like me…even in the unnecessary details?”

The silence was deafening, neither could look me in the eye. Naturally, the slight dread that washed over me was all the confirmation I needed to ask my next, extremely uncomfortable, question. “Faust, did you partake in anything I’d assume Nightmare Moon here would?” Oh yeah, there it was, the blush and turned freaking head. I FUCKING KNEW IT!

Canterlot Castle – Throne Room around the same time
*3rd Pony Perspective*

Luna looked up, for some reason feeling embarrassment, shame and arousal? The less said about her rather impressive wingspan on display, the better. The reaction alone confused her just as much as it did Celestia, who saw the display out of the corner of her eyes. However, she soon returned her focus to the entrance as the doors opened, revealing eight individuals that the sisters had requested. Six of the figures were heroes to Equestria the former bearers of the Elements of Harmony, one young drake and a rather amused draconicus. He, as much as anypony, was curious as to what had occurred. It had been some time since he’d used his own chaotic powers to procure information before a meeting with the sisters.

The diarchy of Equestria sat on their thrones. The elder White-coated Celestia, wore her familiar golden crown just behind her horn: with a not-commonly worn, fitted, golden-colored armor. Said uncommon attire was segmented in build, hid her impressive cleavage, and gave solid protection down to her waist. From there, her white skirt was accompanied by two heavy golden hoof grieves, her gauntleted hands rested on her throne as she gave her subjects her trademark serine, motherly smile. All the while the Dark Blue coated Luna wore a similar set of armor, colored silver while the skirt was ebony-black. She held a helmet on one armrest, both sisters looking quite comfortable in their respective sets of armor.

Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor were visible to one side, wearing armor that was obviously made in the Crystal Empire. While theirs seemed both regal and functional, Cadence clearly was not use to wearing such things. Which was quite obvious, as Cadence waved to her younger sister-in-law, Twilight Sparkle, even as she and her friends, even Discord, seemed flabbergasted by their attire.

Ears turned forward as they were beckoned closer to the Two Royal Sisters, while Cadence and Shining Armor moved to flank Celestia. Looking closer, the expressions of panic on their faces unnerved even Discord, bringing further concern to their current choice of wardrobe. Before anyone else, Discord spoke first. “So what’s so big you brought out your ‘God Empresses of Pony Kind’ get-ups? Moreover, how do I NOT know about it already?”

Everyone looked at Discord in shock, except for the two sisters. An unspoken conversation between the two later, and Luna replied. “We hath discovered somepony in the aftermath of Tirek’s siege of the castle, more specifically the statue gardens. This…’pony’ doth respond to the name ‘Claptrap’ and was found in place of one of the statues. This one, in particular, of an old friend…” she trailed off near the end there with a saddened expression.

Continuing in Luna’s place, Celestia began to retell the events that happened with an illusion spell to better convey what transpired. There were collective gasps from the ponies and dragon, while Discord remained oddly silent just watching with unblinking eyes. This continued until the illusion showed ‘Claptrap’ use magic while he appeared to be an Earth Pony. The retelling soon showed the reason why something had fallen into the Everfree Forest a short time ago, and on their train ride to Canterlot how chariots took a platoon of guards to provide Ponyville more protection in case of hostilities.

“But Princess Celestia, who is this ‘Jack’ for Faust, of all ponies, to help him? Where has she been this whole time? Why hasn’t she tried coming back to you both? What species is this being anyway? Wha-“ Princess Twilight Sparkle’s triad of questions were cut off by surprisingly of all ponies, Pinkie Pie. Meanwhile, most of the others were visibly shocked or unnerved from the whole display; even Pinkie’s mane was half deflated.

“I will answer your questions my former student, but first most of you will need to listen to our story about the being whose name is Handsome Jack. More than a few thousand years ago, when Luna, Discord, and myself were young in the years of our immortality, we encountered a species completely unknown to us at the time. Sadly he’d told us that when he is gone there would be no more left of his kind. The reason for this was, through an event to this day he claimed little knowledge of, he was ‘Displaced’ to our reality. As you may know Twilight, only two have come from beyond this realm to Equestria before, the first being Faust the first of us ponies who made us in her image.” Gesturing towards another illusion spell, a smiling and whole Handsome Jack posed his arm upwards, before pointing towards the thrones.

“The Second has been left out of the records, but HE would be the Second: he was kind, heroic, held a commanding presence and made MANY wondrous things. Sadly that golden age fell when we had to flee the ‘Old Lands’, from Discord’s ancestors specifically. But ultimately it was due to the Wendigoes that the cold and lifeless snow-drifts claimed all of our homelands. Though admittedly, Jack was also the one who had struck many of the tyrants down, destroyed most of the Draconicus species that sought to peruse us. By the time our little ponies had fled south, verdant lands that were mostly unclaimed became our new home, but due to the dividedness of the pony races before this time, we two had to bring everypony together.” The illusion shows the two sisters working to reunite the pony tribes, while both Jack and Discord wandered away.

“Why did you both leave Discord?” The meek Fluttershy asked upon seeing this, as she tried to remain as small as her model-like figure would allow. The response they got was a sad chuckle from the draconicus, as he continued from there warping the image himself floating with Jack and his loader bots. “Well my friends, he at the time, wanted to try tracking down MY family, or what was left so I wouldn’t be alone…The long story short.” The image showed Jack holding a distraught Discord as two loader bots dug some graves, giving him closure and honoring his parents with his own alien tradition of burial, an imitation of Jack’s voice speaking to his friend.

Illusion Jack speaks “Well buddy, I may not have known your folks for long. But to me they reminded me a bit of my own, heck I could tell our folks would have gotten on great, if mine hadn’t been killed by bandits. I suck at funerals, but I’ll help any friend of mine bury their dead so they don’t have to do it alone.” The image fizzles out as a sniffling Discord blew his nose into a hanky.

They smiled sadly as the memory played out, though soon enough the image begins anew. This time, the image showed the Royal Sisters’ proposal going through, with a slow unification of the three tribes. Now under their joint rule, the scene shifted showing a verdant valley with alien construction going on. An excited Jack waved at it, showing both the sisters and Discord. “This was Filliglade, Jack and his alien knowledge as C.E.O. of Hyperion Corporation was both amazing and dreadful. While we were working to build new lives for our ponies and spread the magic of friendship, he worked to remake all that was loss from the fall for us. His loyal Loader Bots, as he called them, made doing so much faster…though they were quite awkward around other species with their limited sentience. They were gentle creators and guards, but we knew of how brutal and cruel they could be, fighting without emotion from but a single order from or threat to Jack. “

Sighing softly as she shifted the image, Celestia showed the first sighting of a changeling, though they disappeared soon afterwards in the form of a fox. Again the scene changed, showing how Jack was able to befriend the Crystal Ponies. They who had refused the sisters originally, he earned their trust, and helped dissolve their isolationist policy. Further, all present were shocked seeing HE was the one who made the Crystal Heart, which in turn won him the populous’ loyalty, and his further aid only helped them prosper. This in turn brought a surprise for the human, as he was named a Duke by the Crystal Empire’s King. To the group’s own further shock, said King had to the right of him a pony who could only be a younger Sombra, before his fall into dark magic.

“There were three heirs to the Crystal Empire, their father was slain by Sombra in his bid for the crown. The eldest disappeared; thought dead by Sombra or some other tragedy, the second eldest fled the city with those loyal to her. The youngest wasn’t so lucky…she was kept as his ‘Consort’, a thin ploy to make his ascension to power seem legitimate on the world stage. He ‘married’ the poor mare and declared himself King, shortly afterward enslaving the entire Empire. His primary tasks for slaves were to mine crystals for him, the source of his power and his own specialty when it came to magic. That was before we made our way to the empire, defeating him, only for the entire city to vanish outside of time and space. Jack was devastated, wanting to try and save them, even wanting to research the effect of the displacement trap to see if they could be brought back. But we…denied him. This happened after Discord became twisted by something in Jack’s possession.” She sighed looking back up at Discord with an apologetic look.

“Jack became far more reclusive than we would have liked, he devoted his time to researching, building or trying to improve Filliglade. At the time, he told us he renamed it ‘New Eden’ in honor of those whose lives had been lost. When he then disappeared for months for what he called ‘A Journey of Inspiration’, he returned different. Now, his once comforting smile was completely gone and he devoted himself to ONE project, day and night. Luna couldn’t penetrate his dreams, even as he slept as there was some kind of ‘influence’ there.” Celestia shuddered at this, looking away with shame on her face.

Luna from there picked up the story. “He finally opened up to me, showed one of his recordings of his journey, it was of the destruction of Minios the Minotaur Capital. We didn’t know the reason why it burned since he would not say…but we could FEEL that something horrid happened there.” She took a breath.

“It was two months later that the Minotaur ambassadors came requesting help from Equestria against a monster called ‘Handsome Jack’. The Kingslayer, they called him, he who commanded a giant named Saturn, which threw blasts of great power that ‘“was divine in its wrath”’. In mere minutes it left only corpses and craters in its wake, even against the mightiest of Minios’ armies.” She shuddered at the memory, breathing deep to steel her resolve.

“I attempted to convince my sister that he had his reasons, which we should listen to first before proceeding. Though, thinking about it now, it was around this time that a strange cloaked female appeared.” The illusion changed showing the encounter and how her words, even without proof, seemed to convince Celestia that Jack was a true monster. The female seemed to entrance the elder sister by regaling events involving Jack, even though he’s been here with the sisters for decades going on close to a century.

“We were eventually ‘convinced’, though I stayed out of the attack on Filliglade, as he had loyal ponies that loved him and worked for him. They had fled into his main structure and a powerful barrier activated. Celestia had to use a Solar Strike to breach it, though in doing so she also severely damaged the building’s facilitates…and all living within.” The image changes to Celestia flying inside.

“As Celestia flew to where Jack was, she witnessed the cloaked female reveal herself to be the same species as Jack, break something he was busy communing with by smashed it into his face. He cried out in agony, only for the female to disappear, Jack teleporting away before Celestia could stop him…”

The image changed to her leaving the facility, which soon after exploded much to her elder sister’s shock and horror. Both the armed forces and the civilians nearby were hit by the blast, and those who did live were dying, no matter how much healing magic was put into it.
Enraged and in denial, the scene showed Celestia marching up to Luna showing her the damage the explosion had done to their ponies, raving that Jack was just a monster like Discord, saying nothing of her own actions being the cause of the tragedy. A subdued Luna nodded slowly before the scene shifted yet again.

Now a lone hill was shown, with a picnic set beneath the night sky. The moon glowed brightly as the two figures visibly talked, the taller even complimenting her latest night sky. But it then showed her excuse herself, before moving to a now visible Celestia behind him. He made a soft chuckle as he is pointing at the moon, a forced smile visible from the side of his face.

“He spoke these words as he stood there, never turning around to face us, somehow knowing this would happen. ‘Well Luna, I honestly thought you had a shot at telling Celestia that she was being duped by the same guy that stranded me here years ago. Heck, he’d practically said to my face Discord’s favorite saying, “Where’s the fun in making sense?” I tell ya, neither of you’ve making any since I came back from that trip of mine. Still want to know why I trashed Minos? Here’s a hint, it had to do with a Coliseum and a tradition of slavery. You’ll figure the rest out…if you even bother.’ He cocked his head, and I saw a tear drop down his face. ‘Whelp, it was nice, having friends for once…ones who use to believe in me, at least. Discord didn’t betray my trust, or kill my employees, but then hey, who’s perfect right? At least I’ve got my ace in the hole, and Luna? This...was for you, keep it if you like.” An item was dropped on the ground the size of a ring box, when the Elements of Harmony struck Handsome Jack.

Celestia gathered herself now as Luna quietly wept and continued, though more reserved now. “It wasn’t until a year and a half later that the Zebras came to us, requesting help to rebuild their nation. What they’d lost was terrible, but they attributed their freedom to Smiling Handsome Jack, the Wrath of Vengeance, and He Who Came from the Stars and Ended the Tyranny of the Bulls. These were some of the revered titles they’d gave him for his heroics on their behalf, this revelation of his innocence only fueled my sister’s spiral to become Nightmare Moon. I myself finally accepted it was I who destroyed Filliglade, and in my horrified guilt retreated into my work much like how Jack had done… I only saw too late how foalish I was and hoped to fix my mistakes starting with returning what had been taken from him, then restoring him to beg his forgiveness. But…it didn’t work. Perhaps because he wasn’t from Equestria, the Elements’ effects would not undo themselves and his form remained stone. It was two days before I finally told Luna I’d given up, we could not free him, a statement which finally broke my sister…” She remained quiet from then on, letting each of them absorb the information as Discord broke the quiet.

“If things were different I might have been able to free him. Chaos magic doesn’t play by the normal rules, and it got me out of the Elements’ prison eventually even when I was so weakened. Sadly, I didn’t even know he was in the gardens when I first broke free, let alone alive. I was tempted to try finding his grave after I had my original fun in Ponyville…” his voice fades as he recalls what happened then.
“The reason why we both summoned you all here my litt-no my friends, is we wouldn’t put it pass him to try and invade Canterlot. He made his position clear, declaring his hate for ALL ponies, and we two in particular would be high on his list of betrayers. I ask of you to help fortify our-” The Throne Room doors burst open as a Royal guard rushed inside panting.

“Objects are FALLING from the SKY towards the NORTH!” Luna’s eyes widen more at a realization, before looking at Celestia. “He’s NOT coming for US!”

Hyperion Moon Base – Moonshot Command Room – Twenty minutes prior to said guard in canterlot.
*Handsome Jack’s Point of View*

Ugh... well that meeting was a complete cluster-fuck. I swear, ya leave for a measly millennium and everything goes the way of the bandits. Still, got more important things to worry about…let’s see here. Five load-outs of Surveyors, Constructors, Loader Bots, one squad of Jack Clones with repair gear, and 3 New-U Stations/Fast Travel units for easy access and respawn if necessary, I think that ought to do it. Seriously, all the women…well ‘females’ in my life have gotten all kinds of creepy lately. Still, better than a hot chick trying to kill me by punching my face in. Still, gotta thank Faust for making this new Minion Bot. Decently equipped, decent subroutine, and… “HEY JACK!! YOU LOOK LOST IN THOUGHT, BOSS OF MINE. PERHAPS, YOU MIGHT BE THINKING OF WAYS TO MAKE THOSE PONY P*$$&&$ PAY FOR BETRAYING YOU! IF SO, I WOULD LIKE TO SUGGEST THE TRIED AND TRUE METHOD OF…EXPLOSION!!!”

Surprisingly, a Minion sounding like Mr. Tourge is quite the spirit lifter these days. He helps keep me in shape, is REALLY good at pushing me without actually causing me harm, and knows when to turn on his explosion fetish for comedic effect. Of all the things to happen since coming back, he’s been the best so far. “Well Flexington, I think we’ll have some time for that later. Right now it’s time for us to get to work, after I leave for the surface, monitor the railways. Just so it’s clear for you, when I say monitor, I mean delay any train coming up this way be any non-lethal means necessary. I’d say take out the tracks and put up enough warning signs up that they can slow to a stop about half-way to the northern territories, which should slow them down for more than a couple days. That should also be long enough for me to reestablish my Duke status and set up a search for the real heir of the Empire. With luck, if any of the royal blood is alive, I can bring them around to our side again and get them on their rightful throne. If not…eh, I’ll chock this up as one of the few failures I seem to get these days…”

“SURE THING BOSS!! I’LL HAVE THE BOYS IN R&D RIG US SOME EXPLOSIVE SIGNPOSTS THAT’LL BE VISIBLE FOR MILES DAY OR NIGHT! THEN, WE’LL BLOW UP THE RAILWAYS JUST PAST GALLOPING GORGE, SO THAT THEY’LL BE FORCED TO GO TO VAHOOVER INSTEAD! ALL THE WHILE, WE’LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO MEET WITH THE LOCAL GOVERNEMENT IN VANHOOVER AS A TRAVELING CIRUS SHOW, AND FURTHER SLOW DOWN THE GOVERNMENT RESPONSE WITH A FREE FIREWORKS PERFORMANCE AND FAIR FOR THE NEXT 3 WEEKS!!! HOW’S THAT FOR FORWARD THINKING AND INITIATIVE ALL THE WHILE WITH ZERO LOSS OF LIFE!”

And its days like today that make me wish I really WAS the hero of this story. Here I have a Bot that is a total explosion nut, and finds a way to do things without hurting a single life despite that. By all accounts, I SHOULD be the good guy here, right? I know, just saying I am is not enough…it was never enough, either for myself or the “real” Jack…so why bother playing the hero? Especially when the good guy still gets the gun in the back? Maybe pride, maybe some screwed up morality…but me? Good, bad, I’m the guy with the kickass robot army…

And I’m itching for some payback, and because of Nightmare Moon and Faust, there's some serious 'thoughts' to enjoy before sleeping.