Login

WEIRDER THAN NORMAL — NORMAL? NOW *THAT'S* WEIRD!

by Kevin Lee

Chapter 15: WHAT IS DISCORD AFRAID OF?

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

"CELESTIA! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!?" Gustav roared.

Here we go again! Celestia thought with a sigh. Fortunately, somepony stepped in to defuse this newest flare-up.

"It wasn't her!" the shadowcat creature firmly stated, advancing on the human's crumpled form. "As I was bringing him back up this second time, I had noticed his failing health. When I mentioned it to him, Trevar confirmed with me that he was greatly stressed from a severe case of acrophobia as well as trying to calm the situation that threatened to ignite hostilities. He warned me that he would likely faint even if he managed to resolve the situation."

"Oh," Gustav muttered abashed. "Then—what can we do to assist?" he whispered.

"He obviously needs rest for now, but we should get him food as soon as we can," Celestia said. "But what does his kind eat?"

"His blood-protein levels are extremely low," Panthera said, sniffing at him, "as is most everything else, except his glucose. I would advise a stew of mixed vegetables and meat. And he's likely to be unconscious for at least half an hour."

"You can't do that! What if he's vegan, like me?" Scott exclaimed.

"Whuz'zat?" Rainbow Dash demanded.

"People who chose not to eat meat for ethical reasons," Scott replied.

"It's highly doubtful that he is a herbivore, given who he is!" Gustav growled.

"How can you be so sure?" Scott demanded.

"I would still advise the meat and vegetable stew!" Panthera cut it, forestalling any further argument by invisibly lifting Trevar up with her magic to lay him over her back. "He's lacking specific nutrients that only a balanced meal will restore him to a healthy state. Even an herbivore will eat meat, given the condition he's in and he'll need it right away."

"A choice between waiting here for him to wake where there are some restaurants that cater to griffons or gather the materials needed and deliver them to Ponyville," Celestia muttered.

"If we wait here, he will still be greatly stressed from being in this city," Panthera pointed out. "Given how severe his intense fear of heights, even my assistance in letting him stay up here isn't sufficient to calm him. And it certainly didn't help that your efforts for letting him walk these clouds failed or that the griffon got in the way of my ability to hold him in place."

"Then Ponyville, it is!" Celestia said, deciding. "Ambassador? Would you mind gathering up some supplies from here and meeting us at Twilight Sparkle's castle?"

"Oh, I can do you one better, Princess," Rainbow Dash exclaimed, beaming. "I've got some supplies at my home that's along the way 'n I can deliver them to Spike to start cooking up b'fore you can get off this cloud!"

"Of that, I've no doubt, you can!" Celestia replied with a laugh. "Very well, then! Please do so, Rainbow Dash!" And with that, the cerulean pegasus was gone, leaving only a rainbow contrail behind.

Celestia then grimly turned toward the direction of Canterlot and sent a signal to the palace.


"Hey Twilight! Spike! You guys here?" Rainbow Dash hollered as she slammed open the door to the crystal castle.

"Hi Rainbow!" Spike called out from the library.

"Hi Spike!" she greeted. "I know Twilight's gotz you busy, but I gotta ask that you start makin' up a stew with lots of vegetables as fast as you can. Oh, and be sure to toss this bacon in, too!"

"B-b-bacon? In a vegetable stew!?" Spike stammered taking the bag.

"What's this?" Twilight Sparkle called out, come out from the same room as the little dragon had. "Have you've gone cannibal on us, Rainbow?"

"Ha! Ha! You know that pegasi are ohmeevores, Twilight," Dash said deadpan. "But it's not for me! Princess Celestia's right on my tail—"

"With you hauling illegal meats, I don't doubt it!" Twilight teased.

"Funny," Rainbow growled without amusement. "That—human—he fainted."

"Probably saw what was in the bag."

"He just got through pullin' Princess Celestia and Gustav apart from goin' ta war with each other! Literally!" Rainbow finally had to tell her.

"Whoa! Seriously?" Twilight asked, stunned at the news.

"Yeah! Seriously!" Rainbow confirmed. "What's worse, he's got a case of acrophobia! Gotz it bad, too! Maybe almost as bad as Flutters. 'N it didn't help that he got dropped through the deck a couple times, b'fore, durin' and after stopping the war!"

"Rainbow! I had no idea that you knew that word!" Twilight exclaimed.

"What word? 'Acrophobia'? Pffss! What pegasus doesn't know that word, even if most of us don't have to worry about it? It's not like that's a real egg-head word like 'stellarizzyteez'."

"'Astrophysics'," Twilight blandly corrected her.

"Wutevah!" Rainbow blew off dismissively. "Anyhow, that shadowcat, Panthera? She said that he needs to get a mixed vegetable and meat stew right away! They'll be here any moment!"

"WHAT!?" Twilight exclaimed. "Why didn't you say something sooner?!?"

Rainbow Dash glared at Twilight for several moments, then noticed Spike was still standing there.

"Get movin', Spike!" she yelled at the dragon. Then to her alicorn friend, she stretched out her wing. "Twilight? You 'n I need to have a talk…"


Celestia rode in her chariot with the human mare, following the shadowcat and the griffons. She was very concerned in trying to figure out what had happened with Gustav and Razor which caused them to nearly go to war like that. It was clear that when the griffons first met them, they were very interested in Panthera and hadn't cared much for Trevar at all. But then the humans spoke to each other, and that's when they both seemed to go crazy. And their disdain for the human mare still remained. Very puzzling, she thought.

Ahead, she saw Gustav glide closer alongside Panthera—really close. The temptation was just too much. As much as she respected his privacy, this—extremely bizarre level of interest that Gustav displayed in the human stallion was simply too dangerous to ignore. She charged her horn to amplify and focus the direction of her hearing.


"Do you think he'll be okay?" Gustav asked.

"He should be, provided we get him adequate food," Panthera replied. "May I ask a matter of you? I know who and what Trevar means to me. But can you please tell me what he is to you?"

Gustav flew alongside for several moments before answering.

"What we discuss must never be mentioned to those not like us!" Gustav said, glaring at her.

"Understood," Panthera grimly responded.

"Griffons are the offspring of two gods, the Sky-Lord and the Cat-Lord," Gustav whispered. "As a shadowcat, you obviously are as well, being a bit closer relation to the Cat-Lord. I—we—had no idea who he was until he had spoken. I heard him! He is the Cat-Lord!" Panthera stared at him for several moments before replying.

"Indeed," she finally said. "This, we recognized the moment Pardus and I saw him. It was his expressed wish that we not spread such news about him. He swore us to secrecy and we said nothing to the other creatures we met in the castle. We had not anticipated that someone else, like you would be able to sense him. And it has greatly distressed him that you were about to start a war over possessing him. Celestia's cloudwalking spell had failed for some reason, and when I caught him the first time, he confided in me of his fear of flying. And he had successfully managed to fight very hard to overcome his terror all the while we met with Celestia in private. But then he got dropped again while you and Celestia were arguing—well, you see the results."

"Then I was the one to cause him injury!" Gustav gasped. "I—I'm so very sorry! I only wanted to protect him!"

"His safety would have been better assured with anonymity," Panthera said. "Unfortunately, that is no longer an option. And it will only get worse if more griffons come across him and react as you did."

"What can be done to fix it?" Gustav asked after considering the matter. Panthera also took her time to think about it.

"Celestia will be assigning guards to escort and provide protection for him while he's staying here," Panthera finally said. "Perhaps—if you ask her—nicely—so as to not arouse any further suspicions on her part—for you to offer to supplement her guards with some of your own. Oh, and try not to go immediately to war, should she be reluctant. She, no doubt, will be understandably concerned, given your little outburst. Be sure to use reason with her, rather than threats. But assuming you succeed, you must make your orders to your guards clear that they are to keep all other griffons away in order to mitigate any adverse reactions your people may have caused in finding out about Trevar."

"Yes. Yes, that might be a good idea," Gustav muttered. "D-do you think—when he's feeling better—if I, or some of my people, could have a private audience with him?"

"Well, in the short amount of time we had to talk with him here, he certainly seems like a very accommodating individual," Panthera replied. "Pardus and I are certainly planning on meeting him in private when we get the chance. I'm sure that once the situation stabilizes, Trevar will want to meet with some of you as well."

"Then I'll do my best to make this up to him," Gustav said before sliding away.


Celestia thought hard about what she had heard. Having the griffons involved with guarding the humans will certainly complicate matters. But it was good to hear that Gustav seemed to be open to reason. As Panthera stressed to him, getting him to negotiate leaves her a way to propose a mutually beneficial solution, hopefully in a way as to not make him suspicious that she had eves dropped on their conversation.

But now a deeper question plagued her. Who, or what, was this "Cat-Lord" and how is Trevar supposed to relate to a creature such as that? Any such being involved with the creation of griffons and shadowcats they could recognize should be from Equus. But the human wasn't even from this world!

They arrived at the Tree Castle shortly after. She knew the chariots delivering the books had left by now, of course. And the guards for the humans she had summoned just prior to departing Cloudsdale had not yet arrived. Twilight was no doubt inside sorting the chambers she had selected to be her library. As her chariot landed, it appeared to her that Trevar had woke up, as she could see him and the shadowcat quietly conversing and Trevar nodded his head to something Panthera had said.

But he looked very pale. The humans she had met a few years ago from that starship were of a light tan to dark brown, with some shade of yellow predominating throughout their features. Even the humanoid robot had a yellowish sheen to his artificial skin. But Trevar was looking downright white, where his normal healthy tones were closer to the starship's captain!

After instructing Lieutenant Scott to remain with the chariot, Celestia led the way to open the castle doors and stood aside to allow them entry.

"Mr. Trevar, are you feeling better?" she asked as Panthera carried him by.

"I'm afraid he's still too weak to answer, Princess Celestia," Panthera said as she walked in, followed closely by Gustav and Razor.

"Princess Twilight!" Celestia called out as she entered. "I regret to be imposing on you, but we have a bit of an emergency."

"So I've been informed!" Twilight Sparkle replied as she came rushing out of one of the rooms that had designated for part of the library, followed quickly by Rainbow Dash. "Unfortunately, the food isn't ready yet."

"We should get what we can into him, whether it's ready or not," Panthera said.

Evidently using her nose, she quickly aimed for the kitchen, with Gustav and Razor hot on her tail.

Before Celestia could follow, however, Twilight Sparkle called to her.

"Is everything alright, Princess Celestia?" she asked. "Rainbow Dash just filled me in on there being some sort of altercation between you and Ambassador Gustav?" she inquired, obviously unable to believe the news.

"We'll speak of this later, Twilight," Celestia quietly told her. "The matter we're walking on is still as fragile as griffons' eggs, but I cannot allow the human to be alone with the griffons at this time. Not at least until I know it won't harm Equestria to do so," she finished as she proceeded into the kitchen.

Inside, Celestia was astonished at what she saw. Spike, the precocious little dragon that Twilight Sparkle had hatched so many years ago was stirring the pot. But the little dragon was staring wide-eyed and nervously at the huge shadowcat beside him. And for good reason. The strange creature was shooting several short bursts of green lightning from her eyes at the pot holding the stew.

"That's so awesome how she does that!" Rainbow Dash whispered in awe.

"You are a curious looking creature," Panthera said to Spike. "May I inquire as to what sort of being you are?"

"S-s-sure!" Spike nervously replied. "I'm a dragon!" he finished proudly.

"A dragon?" Panthera asked in astonishment, taking a few moments to stop her eye beams to blink and stare at him before resuming her blasts at the pot. "Interesting. You are not what I expected from a dragon."

"Well, I am still considered a baby dragon," Spike replied.

"Ah, I see," she responded with a nod. "And a male dragon, at that, correct?"

"Of course!" Spike said with a little indignity.

"Please don't take offense," Panthera apologized. "For non-dragons, it's not so easy to tell."

"That should be warm enough!" Panthera finally said, ending her eye blasts.

The pot levitated from the stove as was evidently guided to the nearby table and set down in front of an empty chair. Once that was accomplished, the big panther turned her attention to the human still lying slumped along her back. Trevar was then lifted up and brought over to the chair. The human roused from his malady while he was in the air and reached out his arms to receive the table and chair.

"Thanks, Panthera," Trevar weakly whispered in gratitude.

"Careful!" Panthera warned him. "It's going to be quite warm," to which Trevar silently nodded as he picked up his spoon.

"We should allow him to eat in peace," Panthera said to everypony, and the spread winged advancement she pressed toward the griffons made it clear there would be no opportunity to argue. As Gustav and Razor were being herded backwards into Celestia, Twilight and Rainbow Dash, they, too had to retreat. "Come, little one!" Panthera called over her shoulder with a growl at Spike. "Your presence isn't required in here, either! Trevar will clean up after he's finished eating."

Spike walked to the exit, taking the other side of the table and joined Celestia and the others as they were all guided back out to the foyer. Once Panthera reached the door, she sat down and left her wings half-spread, barring any entry.

"Apologies for taking such a forceful stance," she told everypony with a toothy grin. "But as you all are no doubt aware, it is never wise to get between a mother and her injured cub."

"Uh—I'm sorry—but—he's not your cub," Twilight Sparkle spoke up. "He's not even remotely the same species as you. How can you claim a relationship?"

"He's close enough, as far as I'm concerned," Panthera replied to her with a small chuckle. "And he wishes me to relay his gratitude to all of you for all your assistance and he deeply apologizes for all the trouble he's caused by falling ill."

"It is I who should apologize to Lord Trevar," Gustav said. "I was the one to cause him to be injured in this way."

"As I told you, we shall all talk of this later," Panthera told him. "But for now, he certainly does not hold you to blame. He is simply terrified of high places and is unable to cure himself of the affliction. The best he can do is resist his fear for a period of time. But of course, getting dropped twice as he was put a substantial limit on how much he could resist it. I seriously doubt any of you can appreciate how it affects him."

"I bet Fluttershy could!" Rainbow Dash spoke up. "She's pretty much afraid of everythin', startin' with heights!"

"And I can relate, too," Twilight Sparkle put in. She fluttered her wings for a moment, saying, "I wasn't born with these. I'm still a little uncomfortable when I take to wing."

"Then Trevar will certainly want to share a laugh with you when he's recovered," Panthera said with a nod.

There were a few moments of awkward silence as Panthera looked back at Trevar.

"I wonder—" Panthera spoke up, turning her head back toward the ponies and griffons before her. "In all the excitement of our initial meeting, I had no opportunity to be curious about all the tomes you had brought here from the other castle. Is there—by any chance—some writings covering the study of celestial objects and orbital dynamics? Oh, and anything you might have on dragons, too, if you please?"

"Well, unfortunately, nothing's been sorted," Twilight Sparkle responded. "But I do remember which stacks those subjects were in when I had sorted them for shipping."

"I would greatly appreciate it if I could look through them," Panthera said, standing up. "Trevar is almost finished, and he had informed me that he's feeling much better. He's eager to talk with all of you, if you wish."

"Right this way," Twilight Sparkle happily said, leading the way. "May I ask you a few questions about that board game I saw you playing with Mr. Trevar?"

"Of course," Panthera replied as she followed. "It's a game Trevar calls Chess. He explained the rules to me. It's a fairly simple system. The playing field is a ten by ten by ten virtual cube with forty pieces per side…." Their voices faded as Twilight led the way to where the requested books were waiting. Celestia, on the other hoof, led the others back into the kitchen

"I do apologize for my weakness," Trevar said as he finished scooping out the food when Celestia and Gustav led the way back into the kitchen.

"Please! Think nothing of that," Celestia said. "Panthera has informed us of your fear of heights. That you were able to function throughout your time at Cloudsdale without me even being aware that it was bothering you is something very commendable."

"And I don't know how I can make it up to you, Lord," Gustav said. "It's entirely my fault to cause your injury."

"Well, it's not so much that I have a fear of heights or of falling," Trevar said grinning. "It's more like a fear of that sudden stop when I land. So long as things don't reach that point, I'm okay."

Rainbow suddenly fell to the floor and rolled on her back, cackling in laughter. "HA HA! I love that! 'Y-y-you're okay'!" she exclaimed.

"Hey, if you're finished with that, I'll take care of it," Spike said, looking up at him.

"Thank you, little fellow," Trevar said, passing him the empty bowl.

"Name's Spike!" the dragon said.

"Thanks, Spike!" Trevar said, grinning. "So, I hear you're a dragon?"

"Yep! That's me!"

"Interesting," Trevar said, looking up at the others in the room. The tilt of his head as he looked at everypony indicated he was evaluating them for some reason. Celestia cursed that her spells seem so useless in regards to this human.


Rarity had been disappointed by the lack of business awaiting her when she returned to her Carousel Boutique. Of course, there had been the four-day storm, during which none of her regular customers had time to leave messages for their requests. As it was, there were only a hoofful of notes waiting for her. So, once she got back, she was quickly able to get supplies, make the alterations and line them up for pickup.

That left her ample time for her mind to begin new designs for her next fashion ensemble. Which led to the need to pick up additional bolts of cloth.

But as she left her shop, she saw a team of Canterlot guards, flying over town, heading for the castle. The troop consisted of four pegasi flying alongside a chariot pulled by its team of two, with the chariot carrying two unicorn guards. In addition, she could see a large collection of armaments loaded in the chariot, as well. Having had many opportunities to meet the Canterlot guard force, she knew this was a rather unusual arrangement. Plus the fact it was headed for Twilight Sparkle's castle.

Intensely curious, she began trotting behind the flying team as they approached the castle. They landed, and before she could arrive, the empty chariot pulled by the pegasi team was leaving. Ahead, the other four pegasi and two unicorns had joined another pegasi team still hitched to another chariot. But this chariot wasn't empty. The human mare was sitting there, looking bored…and her outfit was such an eyesore!


"I'm so looking forward to reading this one!" Twilight said, presenting Panthera with a first edition copy of "The Principia" by Sir Isaac Colton. "I'm really surprised that Princess Celestia had left this behind! I mean, it's a first edition! And it was autographed to her by Sir Isaac Colton!"

"No doubt it will make you envious of all the collectors," Panthera said with a snort. The big panther took the book in her own invisible magic and opened it, flipping quickly through the first few pages, and then stopped as a scowl formed over her face. Her left eye even started to twitch.

"Is something wrong?" Twilight asked with some concern.

"I'm afraid I will have to ask you to add some children's reading lessons, a dictionary, and a thesaurus to my reading request," Panthera muttered as she resumed quickly flipping through the pages. "The diagrams are probably still useful, but I have no idea what's in the text."

"You don't know how to read?" Twilight asked astonished.

"Oh, I know how to read," Panthera said. "Just not this writing. I had almost expected that because we speak the same language, we might have transliterated it in the same way, as well."

"Oh! That's because this is Classic Equestrian!" Twilight exclaimed. "That was what was spoken in the Ancient Pegasus Empire before the migration to Equestria."

"I was able to scrounge a modern edition a few weeks ago," Twilight said, leaving the shadowcat to quickly retrieve the volume. But when she returned, she paused, seeing the winged panther finish flipping through the copy of "Origin of the Dragon, A Wild Enigma" by Hooves Darwin and set it down.

"Oh! But this won't do you any good, either!" Twilight suddenly gasped in horror. "You still don't know how to read!"

"I'll be able to translate them from my memory after I learn your writing system," Panthera calmly muttered, taking the new book from Twilight's hold.

Somepony's terrified screams and a door slam interrupted their conversation. The screams were still going on, accompanied by sounds of banging on the door. Then a voice cried out, "FOR GOD'S SAKE, SOMEBODY HELP ME!!"

Panthera dropped the book and ran out, quickly followed by Twilight to the castle foyer. They got there, just in time to see Celestia, Trevar, and Gustav rush out of the kitchen together, followed closely behind by Rainbow Dash, Razor and finally Spike.

The still screaming creature was quickly identified as Lieutenant Scott, apparently trying to keep the castle doors shut from whatever horrors terrified her. Only there was something different about her.

"Uh—Lieutenant? What happened to your uniform?" Twilight heard Trevar ask.

The next moment, Discord popped in hovering above Scott. And then mayhem ensued.


Ten minutes earlier:

"I'm afraid she can't accompany you," the sergeant, a unicorn, told Rarity. "Princess Celestia left orders that the human mare was to remain with the chariot. We were given instructions to report here for guarding a prisoner, and based on the information from my colleagues, it would appear that the prisoner in question is one or both of the humans the Princess brought here."

"But just look at her!" Rarity protested. "And I can take charge of the prisoner, if I have to, darling. I'm one of the Elements of Harmony, after all. Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight trust me implicitly."

"Be that as it may, we have our orders," the sergeant responded, not budging an inch in his refusal.

"But this crime of fashion is still a crime!" Rarity insisted, pointing at the human mare. "Surely, you can't just stand there and let THAT happen? You're Royal Guards, after all!"

"Yes, we are Royal Guards," the sergeant replied. "And, yes, I can just stand here. And, no, don't call me Shirley. And, no, if it's not in the law books, it's not a real crime. I don't care how she looks; she's not going anywhere."

"Not a 'real crime'? NOT A 'REAL CRIME'!? ARE YOU CRAZY?!?" Rarity screamed. The guards just stared at her.

Clearly, she wasn't going to have her usual way when it came to fixing fashion disasters, so she had to think of something else. Suddenly, a new idea hit her.

"How about I take her measurements and bring the outfit later?" Rarity asked.

"I've got no problem with that. Just so long as she stays here."

Yes! She almost hoofpumped in her victory, but that would be so unladylike.

"Wonderful!" Rarity exclaimed as she used her magic to dig through her saddlebag for her tape measure, note pad and pencil. "I can get started right away." Then as she approached the suddenly fearful creature, she paused, now getting a good look at the way the current outfit hung on the biped. There was no way she was going to get accurate measurements through all that hideous fabric…

The human mare screamed as Rarity sent an additional spell to remove her clothes. It didn't matter that the process completely shredded the entire outfit, which otherwise might have been considered wasteful. But Rarity had no intention of ever letting such an offensive material be used in another outfit again. The creature continued to scream as Rarity held her in place so she could take her measurements.

The guards just stood there and stared. Just so long as the creature didn't go anywhere….

Just then, Discord popped up beside Rarity. And then mayhem ensued.


Now:

Twilight had always wondered what humans looked like beneath all those clothes they wore. The prevailing theory they were furless. That theory was given stronger support as evidenced by Scott's bared arms and legs. However, the tight-fitting items she still had on covering the most of her torso, consisting of a dark green top that hid everything from her shoulders to her narrow waste, and a small, skimpy triangle bit of cloth hugging her hips and crotch still left room for doubt.

Scott reacted to Discord's arrival with a horrified expression and a very loud scream, and immediately rushed for the protection of Celestia and the others.

"Oh, my! I had forgotten how entertaining humans could be!" Discord said with a chuckle.

"Discord, that's eno—" Celestia began, but was interrupted by the doors suddenly bursting open as several pegasi and unicorn guards rushed through.

"FIND IT! DON'T LET IT GET AWAY!" the sergeant yelled, but then, he and the others were suddenly brought up short by the sight of Princess Celestia being witness to the chaos.

"Get back here! I haven't finished measuring—oooff!" Twilight heard Rarity scream cut off when she saw several guards to the rear suddenly got shoved forward nearly a hand.

"Keep that raping horse away from me!" Scott screamed. "And there's a monster that's trying to eat me!"

Discord, from the moment the doors opened, was rolling on the ground, laughing. "Oh! Ho! Ho! Ha! Ha! Nothing I could ever do can match this for shear chaos!" he yelled. "You should all see the looks on your faces!"

"Alright! That's enough, everypony!" Celestia commanded. Order, somehow, got in charge over all the being present. Except for Discord, who was still hysterically laughing.

"Discord—" Celestia drawled, letting her annoyance carry in her tone.

"Ha! Ha! I can't help it! It's just too funny!" the draconequus cried, still rolling on the ground.

Celestia sighed.

"Alright, everypony," she tried again, this time ignoring Discord's antics. "What's going on?"

"That fucking horse tried to rape me!" Scott screamed, pointing at Rarity. Celestia looked at Scott in shock and horror.

"*gasp!* I did no such thing!" Rarity instantly protested. "I was merely trying to get measurements to replace those hideous things she was wearing!"

"That fucking bitch tore off all my clothes and tried to rape me!!"

"Heh! You're on your own with this one, Celestia! I'mouttahere!" Trevar quietly quipped, walking away from the group toward Twilight and Panthera. He was closely followed by Gustav and Razor. Celestia gave them a momentary glance, and then hung her head in exasperation.


"Any progress?" Twilight heard Trevar quietly ask once he got close enough.

"Some," Panthera muttered, turning away from the spectacle going on by the outside door to lead the way back to the nascent library.

'Don't leave the griffons alone with Trevar!' Celestia told her, using a spell to keep the message strictly for her alone before turning her attention to the crisis at hoof.

"So…what sort of creature is that?" Trevar asked, gesturing over his shoulder with his forehoof and one of the boney tentacles he had on it.

"That's just Discord," Twilight sighed. "Stay around here long enough, you'll see more of him. He's a draconequus, a creature of chaos."

"It almost resembles a Sinodraconic," Trevar muttered, giving a final look back over his shoulder at the creature who had now settled down his mirth to watch Celestia deal with the human female and the others.


"Lieutenant Scott!" Celestia began. "Please understand that in this world, rape is an extremely serious matter. I have known Rarity for quite a number of years and I'm quite certain she had no intention of sexually molesting you. Your fears of her actions, notwithstanding, should you ever bring false charge of rape against somepony, it shall be dealt with in the strictest of sanctions. Such will not be tolerated!"

"As for you, Rarity," she continued. "As much as I value your fashion sense, you should be aware just how much you overstepped the bounds by forcing Lieutenant Scott to stand for being measured for an outfit. Certainly, destroying her property is not something that I'll allow you to get away with, either. In addition, despite Lieutenant Scott's status as a war criminal for bringing the weapon through the portal, she still is a representative of her government, and as such, she is in the same league as any ambassador.

"You certainly would not be able to just strip Ambassador Gustav's accessories from him, regardless of how somepony might think of their aesthetic value. Likewise, you will not do so with these humans. Do I make myself understood?"

"Yes, your Highness," Rarity said, bowing low. "I'm so sorry for causing anypony distress. Can you please forgive me, Lieutenant Scott? I certainly meant no disrespect."

"I—I guess," Scott replied. "But I don't have anything to wear at all, now! And my uniform represents my career."

"Which, you shall replace, Rarity," Celestia added. The white unicorn gasped in shock.

"Y-y-you can't mean that, your Highness!" Rarity exclaimed with a shudder.

"Indeed, I do, young lady," Celestia sternly said. Rarity cringed.

"Y-yes, y-your Highness," she tearfully acknowledged.

"Sergeant," Celestia said, addressing her guard. "Lieutenant Scott is under your charge. She is a war criminal, but given some extenuating circumstances, I've decided on granting her a probationary sentence to be served out here in Ponyville. You are to have two pegasi and a minimum of one unicorn assigned to escort her wherever she goes. She is to be under curfew between the third hour after sunset to one hour before dawn.

"Mr. Trevar shall likewise have an escort of two pegasi and a minimum of one unicorn. He, however, is to be treated with diplomatic status."

"Are you still going along with that cockamamie scheme he pulled?" Scott protested. "He's used some sort of mind control on those griffons!"

"Lieutenant!" Celestia scolded. "Have I not made it clear that bringing false charges against somepony will not be tolerated here?"

"Y-your Highness! You don't understand! Normal human's don't have magic! But this Mr. Trevar does!" Scott pressed. Celestia had to pause in her retort. The truth spell told her that Scott was being honest with her. That put Celestia in a bit of a dilemma.

One the one hoof, the griffons and shadowcats looked at Mr. Trevar as some sort of deity. If Mr. Trevar had pulled some sort of mind control over both the griffons and shadowcats, especially given the strength of magic demonstrated by the latter, he would have to be a formidable creature indeed. But for Celestia to discount Lieutenant Scott's truthful accusation would be the ultimate of foalishness. On the other hoof, she could not simply ignore the threat of going to war with the griffons. And Mr. Trevar's actions and behavior was quite at odds for somepony that powerful and deceitful.

"I'll grant that Mr. Trevar may not be a normal human, Lieutenant," Celestia acknowledged. "Either way, you'd have to accept that Mr. Trevar does indeed have magic, even if such in your own world is not normal, is that not so?"

"Yes," Scott acknowledged.

"But given the shadowcats have their own substantial powers leads me to doubt that Mr. Trevar is mentally controlling them," Celestia pointed out. "He would have to be controlling both in order to get Ambassador Gustav to be so serious about honoring the stallion. And for him to be holding both griffons and shadowcats under his thrall and be willing to exercise such against creatures native to this world, whom we can expect to have natural defenses against such, he'd have to be insanely arrogant. But given the fact those in your world would have no such defenses, what do you think a creature as insane and powerful as that would most likely have done back on your home planet?"

"I—suppose—he would've taken over our entire government, if not every government," she reluctantly agreed.

"Indeed," Celestia said. "Now, it remains to be seen if Mr. Trevar is indeed as dangerous as you're making him out to be. But in the meantime, we have to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Now, let us have no more of these wild accusations," Celestia concluded. "Go with Rarity and get your uniform recreated, as well as any other outfits you may desire."

"Yes, ma'am," Scott reluctantly said.

Discord, who had been laying on the ground, watching this discussion in silence gave a low chuckle as he snapped the digits of his lion's paw and vanished.

"Please accept my apology, Lieutenant," Rarity begged. "I do regret having caused you any sort of distress."


"Yes-s-s-s," Panthera hissed with annoyance once she had picked up the abandoned modern book and scanned it into her memory. "It appears I will still need to have those children's reading lessons. It was too much to hope the writing had substantially changed from your 'Classical Era'."

"Wow! This shit looks like a weird combination of Georgian, Greek, Egyptian, Chinese, Hangul, Japanese, and Thai! As well as something else entirely," Trevar commented, flipping through a book that he randomly picked up. It was quickly enveloped by a purple aura and yanked out of his hands.

"That 'shit' as you call it, happens to be the 'Odyssey and Iliad' written by Commander Pegasos, the IX, himself!" Twilight scolded the human. "Barbarian!" she whispered beneath her breath so the griffons wouldn't hear as she put the tome back on its proper stack.

"Let me guess," Trevar said after exchanging a glance with the shadowcat. "It was a recounting of a pegasus' trip to an odd and strange world with little to no magic, but one of the creatures he met there was named Bellerophon or Perseus?"

"H-h-how d-d-did you know that?" Twilight exclaimed. "And—he met both, actually."

"Guess who's odd and strange world your little winged pony visited," Trevar deadpanned.

"Heh! Heh! Well, that's one human whose goose is cooked!" Discord announced as he suddenly popped in with a bright flash. "But it's odd that I did see something else that looked like a human…" He stopped and stared at Trevar. "…but…but…didn't…" Discord whipped out a pair of glasses to wear and took a closer look.

"You're a Sinodraconic?" Trevar asked.

"Draconequus," Discord replied automatically. Then he blinked. "Hmmm? Wait…You know about those? This can't be good…!"

"More like a Chop Suey version of one," Panthera muttered.

"And a shadowcat that's not…a…" Discord whipped around to glare it Panthera, but then his pupils and irises went to dots.

"Ohhhsssshhhhitt!" he fearfully exclaimed before vanishing. Immediately, there came a renewed set of screams from the entry foyer.

"What was that about?" Twilight demanded, not believing her eyes.


"Well then, Lieutenant," Rarity was saying. "Come along and I'll whip up some outfits you'll just adore!"

"Celestia!" Discord cried as he popped back up beside her. Instantly, the human mare screamed in terror. "Oh, do be quiet for once! This is important!" Discord snapped at her.

"Easy, there, Lieutenant," Rainbow Dash said, comforting the human mare. "Discord's all bark! Mostly!"

"Celestia! You've got to get rid of that human and shadowcat, right away! You don't know the danger they can cause!"

"Discord?" Celestia exclaimed. "What do you know of them?"

"I—I—I can't say!" the draconequus stammered, looking about nervously. "But you've got to get rid of them! Trust me when I tell you this, but they don't belong here!"

"Of course not!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "They b'long on their home world!"

"Not that you'd have a clue, Rainbow Dash, but Celestia's old enough to know better!" Discord scolded her. To Celestia, he implored, his face expressing terror, "Please! You've got to get rid of them!" Not certain if this was some new game of his, or if Discord was genuinely afraid, Celestia replied in the only way she could.

"Mr. Trevar has a ship coming to pick him up," she told him. "It will be here in a couple months or so. In the meantime, we have to allow him accommodations. Unless you want him to stay with the griffons?"

"No! NO! NO! That would be even a worse mess!" Discord exclaimed. "They've got to be removed from the planet! From this whole system! Right now!"

"I'm sorry, but we can't—" Celestia began, but was cut off.

"Oh, you'll be sorry, alright!" Discord exclaimed with menace before vanishing.

"What wuz that all about?" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"That's what I'd like to know," Celestia said darkly.


Discord appeared before the opening of the warp coils in the damaged castle and looked about.

"Oh! What a splendid pattern!" he wistfully exclaimed, looking down at the fragments of the destroyed control crystals. "But such a shame I can't use it like this," he sadly said, pouting. "It really breaks my heart to have to do this, but…" He nervously looked about, making sure nopony was around, and used his magic by snapping his lion's paw digits to separate all the pieces from the other debris and restore the huge green control crystal back to its original form. Then the hovering crystal inserted itself into the machinery. Once in place, Discord snapped his lion's paw again, and a small knob marked with thirty-nine symbols magically appeared by slowly extruding from the crystal's surface.

Using his eagle claw, he started spinning the knob around, seven times until he settled on one of the symbols, then spun it back the other way, six times until he selected another symbol, then back the other way. He did that five more times, like a combination spin dial, until finally stopping on the seventh symbol. Then he pressed the knob, and the warp coil came back to life, creating a tunnel to another world. One, some ten thousand light-years' distant.

Immediately, Discord started down the warp tunnel.

Next Chapter: Welcome To Stalag Ponyville Estimated time remaining: 13 Hours, 42 Minutes
Return to Story Description
WEIRDER THAN NORMAL — NORMAL? NOW *THAT'S* WEIRD!

Mature Rated Fiction

This story has been marked as having adult content. Please click below to confirm you are of legal age to view adult material in your area.

Confirm
Back to Safety

Login

Facebook
Login with
Facebook:
FiMFetch