Login

No More Heroes: Friendship is Fucked!!

by wingdingaling

Chapter 3: Chapter 2: Flutterbutt the Pissed-Off Butterfly

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Chapter 2

Flutterbutt the Pissed Off Butterfly

It had been almost two weeks since Travis arrived in Ponyville and things had seemingly returned to normal. The Element Bearers had mostly recovered from the trauma of what happened at Canterlot and returned to their daily lives.

In that time, the royal sisters granted Travis permission to protect the Bearers by any means necessary, so long as he understood that doing so was more of a privilege than it was a position of authority. Another condition being that he not abuse his position as their protector.

No such problems came in the following weeks. Life was about as normal as it could be around Ponyville. On top of it all, after getting to know Travis, the town's residents learned he was actually a pretty decent stallion, if not a tad crude, foul-mouthed and obnoxious. But he was always willing to lend a hoof to anypony who needed him, be it for apple bucking, pastry making, music rehearsals or even regulating the weather, which was greatly appreciated by them.

In his time there, Travis had managed to make some new friends of his own. Spike and Dash both enjoyed learning about his lucha libre fighting style and sparring with him, usually in the middle of the library, much to Twilight's annoyance.

But it was Pinkie who was hogging most of his attention, probably as a way of expressing her gratitude for saving her from 'Mr. Big-Meanie-Glass-Tits' as she called him, giggling every time she mispronounced his name. Usually, the two of them spent their time working in the bakery, but sometimes they could be seen out and about in town at a restaurant or in the market, leading to rumors that the two were dating.

Today, though, he was with Rarity to model for her, along with Spike who was just along for the ride.

"But why do I have to wear chick's clothes," Travis protested as Rarity put the finishing touches on the very frilly gown he was wearing.

"Because all of my other friends were busy, and you and Spike offered to help me with this. Now, be a dear and pose for me," Rarity replied as she moved on to Spike, who was wearing a tiny sailor costume.

Meanwhile, Travis struck his pose by jumping into the air and somersaulting three times before landing on his back legs and putting one hoof on his hip and holding the other one in front of his face, remembering that he had no middle and index fingers to extend. But he just went with it and smiled an winked anyway.

"At least you can make it look cool with the posing and the flipping," Spike grumbled. Even though he enjoyed having Rarity's hooves all over him, he just couldn't get past how ridiculous he looked in that outfit, "Seriously, I look like some noble's spoiled pet!"

"Perfect," Rarity chirped as she adjusted Spike's collar, "That's exactly attitude to have as a model for my line of animal clothing."

"Animal clothing," Spike exclaimed aloud. Was this how Rarity thought of him? Just some cute little plaything for her general amusement. This is what he suffered these indignities for? These thoughts melted away when he suddenly felt Rarity's hooves on his cheeks as she looked him in the eye.

"Yes. And I can only hope they look half as adorable as they do on you, my precious Spikey-Wikey," she said in a tone that always made Spike freeze up. Maybe she did care? Spike could never figure that out.

Rarity turned around to get some more accessories for Spike's costume. In that time, Travis leaned down close to Spike to offer some encouragement.

"Dude, you're in. Go for it," Travis said, nudging the small dragon.

Of course, at Spike's young age he didn't quite understand what the older stallion meant.

"Go for it? You mean...," Spike's sentence was cut off by the sudden return of Rarity who came back with several ribbons for Spike's hat.

"And speaking of pets," Rarity began as she magically put the ribbons, "Wherever is your cat, Travis. I haven't seen her playing with Opal lately."

"She usually hangs out at Fluttershy's place during the day," Travis answered.


Earlier that day at Fluttershy's house on the outskirts of Ponyville, just on the edge of the Everfree Forest, the yellow pegasus was out and around her yard taking care of the various animals that inhabited the area.

Today, as it was for the past couple of weeks, she was assisted by a playful, very helpful gray tabby cat who played with every animal smaller than she was and rubbed against every animal larger than her.

It made Fluttershy smile to see such a happy cat. Normally, cats were very fussy and had specific needs that varied between each individual one, but it seemed that Jeanne was content with just about anything that came her way.

Their routine took them to the garden where Fluttershy started to refill the hummingbird feeder. She delighted in the way the tiny birds darted about, sipping from the feeder and then backing off, then sipping and backing off again, over and over until they flew away.

"Aren't they amazing birds, Jeanne? You know that they're the only birds that are capable of flying backwards, don't you," she turned to look at her feline company to notice something very odd.

Instead of trying to play with the birds like she usually would, she was crouched into a defensive stance and had her ears folded back. Fluttershy immediately became concerned by this sudden change in behavior.

"Jeanne? Is everything alright?"

Jeanne's answer was an aggressive hiss just before she ran off in the direction of Ponyville.

Fluttershy didn't sense that Jeanne was hissing at her. And it wasn't the birds either. What caused her to suddenly become so hostile? It was then that Fluttershy's attention was drawn to a nearby flower in the garden where she saw the most beautiful butterfly she had ever seen.

It was immensely large, almost as big as Jeanne from wingtip to wingtip, and its wings had the most intricate pattern of reds and blacks on them that she had ever seen. It was almost like the patterns made up tiny flames on its wings.

Its eyes made a dazzling spectrum of blues and purples. Fluttershy stepped closer to investigate the insect, when it suddenly fluttered off the flower it was on and alighted on her nose. Its proboscis uncurled and tickled her nose, making her giggle with glee.

"Hello, Mr. Butterfly," she greeted the large insect, "I hope you enjoy my flowerbed. I watered it this morning so that the flowers can grow big and strong. So if you want to come again, you can bring your friends."

Fluttershy could never have anticipated what happened next. She couldn't actually talk to animals, but she understood what the various sounds and body languages meant, but she never, ever expected to hear an animal actually speak to her, let alone say, "Okie-dokie," in a voice that sounded like it belonged to a twelve year old colt.

"What," Fluttershy asked, dumbfounded that the insect spoke.

The butterfly hopped off her nose and fluttered in front of her face before it gave its answer.

"Say 'hewwo' to my wittle fwiend, Beawer of Kindness," when it finished speaking, it drew a steel katana the size of a telephone pole and raised it over its tiny body.

The butterfly swung, and the pegasus screamed.


"NO," Rarity yelled at Travis, who was now wearing a powder blue sun dress and a matching hat, "I told you turn left, then right, then spin, then right again and then pose! Not left, right, spin, right, pose and pose again! You can expect to lose some of your pay for that," she said with a huff.

This wasn't the first time that Travis messed up on a job and one of his dick bosses docked his pay for it, but it was usually for something like burning the food, or making a late delivery. All he did was add an extra move to a minor modeling job.

"Aw, come on! It's not like I set the dress on fire," Travis protested.

This seemed to make Rarity come down from her melodramatics and she apologized to her friend.

"I'm sorry," she began with a sigh, "I know you work hard, and it's not fair to pay you less for that minor infraction."

Travis got a good feeling that he was about to be paid the full amount for his trouble.

"But I'm afraid that I still can't pay you the full amount for your trouble."

So close, yet so far, Travis.

Suddenly, a gray blur rushed into the boutique and started running around the floor. As soon as it stopped, the three present saw that it was Jeanne with her hair standing on end. Travis immediately moved to console his frightened pet.

"Whoah, easy girl," he said as he walked over and reached out to stroke her fur.

Instead of letting him get close as she normally would, she instead recoiled back towards the door.

Travis knew this behavior. It usually meant she wanted him to follow her, like so may episodes of 'Lassie.' This time, she had a strong air of urgency about her, which Travis couldn't ignore.

"Something's wrong," he announced.

He proceeded to literally jump out of the blue dress and hat, with his usual clothes underneath it and hastily followed Jeanne. "She wants me to follow her! Spike, come with me! Rarity, stay here," he quickly ordered as he used his head to pop Spike onto his back.

Then with all haste, Travis followed Jeanne to the source of her worry.


When they arrived at the cottage, they saw an incredibly bizarre sight. From what they could see, Rainbow Dash had beaten them there, and was somewhere in the nearby Everfree Forest. She was darting above the treetops, dodging a giant sword that was being swung around by someone below the canopy, who Travis assumed to be the next assassin. He quickly assessed the potential threat and looked back to Spike, "Hey, remember that sparring match we had today?"

"Yeah, and Twilight threw you out the window when you broke the table," Spike recalled the event. He and Travis were practicing the belly-to-back suplex, when Spike lifted Travis and slammed him onto the table.

"You just told her I did, you little punk! But it's good you remember, because now's a hell of a bad time to forget," he said as he and Spike charged into the danger zone.

Though Spike told Travis stories about all the times he had been left behind, Travis felt fully confident in Spike's abilities to hold his own in a scrape.

Jeanne went her own way to get the friends she made at the cottage to safety.

Spike jumped off of Travis's back and the two friends ran into the forest.

A few meters in and suddenly Rainbow Dash swooped over their heads.

"WHOAH," the two yelled as they crouched under their speedy friend.

As soon as they stood, a new threat came in the form of the sword they saw Dash dodging when they arrived.

"What the shit is that," Travis yelled as the blade passed over their heads.

"I'm sowwy," came a new voice. Looking to the source, Travis and Spike saw a butterfly with a sword way to big for it to be carrying, "I was twying to kiww the bwue wing-pony."

In all his years, Travis hadn't seen anything like this before. He had fought a serial killing ghost, a dickhead superhero, a grim reaper-ette and a punk rocker who had his brain inserted into an earthquake machine. But this was just stupid.

"Okay, dudes with pink guns is one thing, but talking butterflies is where I draw the line," Travis thought to himself, as he dragged his hoof down his face.

Spike readied himself for his first real fight. He had been on a few adventures, but he never got any real experience since the ever-protective Twilight always wanted him to stay out of harm's way. The little dragon tried to look intimidating as he puffed his chest and put on a war face, "If you want Rainbow Dash, you'll have to get through us, bug!"

The butterfly in front of them glared intensely. It seemed like Spike's bravado didn't fly with this one.

Flutterbutt couldn't believe what he heard. He apologized. Genuinely so. So why the hell weren't they accepting? What was it about saying 'sorry' was so foreign to them?! He would have clenched his teeth if he had any.

"I said I was sowwy," Flutterbutt said, as he raised his sword, "Why is that not good enough fow you bumhugs?!"

The massive blade swung with a surprising speed towards them. Luckily, Rainbow Dash was faster, as she picked the guys up and flew them out of the way of the attack. She proceeded to fly them both high above the reach of the sword.

"'Bout time you showed up," Dash said as she quickly gained altitude.

"When'd you get here," Travis asked, wondering what she was doing so far from Ponyville.

"I came here a few minutes ago when I heard Fluttershy screaming," Dash elaborated. She suddenly flashed a cocky grin, "You should've seen it! Just before he got Fluttershy, I tackled him out of the way and sent him flying!"

Travis would have made some kind of snide retort about tackling a butterfly, but he saw the piece that thing was carrying, and it was some serious shit.

The next thing they knew, the giant sword was swinging again, aimed to cut Dash right down the middle.

She quickly flew over the blade, and the three looked down to see the assassin flying below them, his little wings fluttering furiously as he kept pace with Dash.

"You can't escape fwom me that easiwy you siwwy-biwwies," Flutterbutt said as he swung his sword again.

Dash dove to dodge this time, weaving in between the proceeding swings of the sword.

"Where's Fluttershy now," Spike asked as he pulled his legs up to avoid having them cut off by another swing.

"She's somewhere in the Everfree right now," Dash said as she maneuvered into a nosedive that took them safely under another swing, "I don't know where exactly, but she has a few places in there that she goes to sometimes."

Travis began formulating a plan. Strategy was never his strong point, and he usually worked alone, but he was good at using what he had at hand to pull through. And now he had two partners who could help him take on this menace.

"One of us has to go look for Fluttershy," Travis announced the first part of his plan.

"I'll do it," came the immediate response from Spike. Though he felt more confident with his basic beam katana fencing and lucha libre skills, he still didn't feel up to the task of fighting a seriously messed up butterfly.

Another swing of the sword, and Dash was forced to drop Travis in order to properly roll out of the way.

"Oh, shit," Travis yelled as soon as Dash let go.

Dash then looped around and quickly caught Travis about sixteen feet down.

"You fucking dropped me," Travis fumed at Dash.

"It's your fault I did! I can't maneuver right, because you weigh a bucking ton!"

"No, I don't!"

Once again, they were interrupted by Flutterbutt's attack. This time, he threw his sword boomerang-style right at the three. When he threw it, a strong whirlwind was whipped up around the sword, which forced Dash to drop the guys and threw off her balance, causing her to fall.

Flutterbutt took advantage of this situation. He knew to trust his force (for it was strong in him) and he used it to guide his spinning blade through the air back towards his targets.

As the three fell, Travis put the second part of his plan into play. He knew all about Dash's affinity for speed, so his first move was use his magic to toss her the Blood Berry.

"Dash," he yelled as he tossed the inactivated sword handle.

She almost hesitated to catch it in her mouth, knowing how he recharged it, but catch it she did.

As for Spike, he needed a good weapon for beginners, and the Tsubaki Mk. III was just the one for that. "Spike! Catch!"

The young dragon caught the weapon in one hand.

Just as he did, Flutterbutt's sword came spinning back towards them all.

Travis executed a quick somersault which looped him over the top of the blade as Dash simply regained her balance and dove under. Spike, however, caught the blunt side of the katana with his free hand and was sent spinning towards the fluttering assassin.

Flutterbutt caught his sword, and Spike's world stopped spinning.

The butterfly raised his sword up, and Spike began sliding down its blunt edge towards him. Spike's mind raced for a solution, and one came to mind as he came to the base of the sword.

He thrust both of his feet out and struck the large and surprisingly solid butterfly right on the head. He briefly heard him shout, "Ow! My noggin," as he used the momentum from the impact as a springboard to further launch himself into the air.

With several graceful flips, Spike couldn't help but think if this was what he was capable of if Twilight stopped doting over him.

His trip through the air finished when Dash caught him with a graceful shuttle loop and dropped him off on the forest floor.

Travis, meanwhile, used his magic to soften the impact of the landing on the ground. He winced as a shockwave rocketed through his body. The pain from the landing was enough to make his legs buckle and give way beneath him. The only way this could have gotten worse was if there was a giant sword swinging down from the sky directly at him. Which there was.

Travis quickly rolled to the side as the enormous blade lodged itself deep into the ground.

Using this to his advantage, Travis scrambled to his hooves and galloped up the sloped sword as fast as he could.

Halfway up, he drew the Rose Nasty and held both swords out to his sides as he rapidly approached his opponent.

"Ooh, you don't wanna do that," Flutterbutt admonished Travis as he drew nearer, "I wiww be forwced to to bad, eviw things to you!"

From the base of the blade, a vortex of air began to swirl. Soon the vortex worked its way down the rest of the blade towards Travis, growing in size and strength to become a tornado that sent Travis spinning skyward.

Though he learned from Twilight how to better handle his weapons so that he wouldn't drop them, they were still rendered useless as he spun helplessly through the air.

Flutterbutt raised his tornado-engulfed sword and swung downward at Travis, smashing him into the forest floor.

"I towd you I would do eviw things," Flutterbutt said innocently, as if to apologize for his harsh actions.

No sooner did her finish talking did he suddenly feel a series of slashes that seemed to come at him from all angles.

"NOPONY--TOUCHES--MY--FRIENDS," he heard a voice shout between each attack. Looking up, he saw Rainbow Dash's hooves coming down on him.

Her hooves connected with Flutterbutt's face, and the two plummeted to the ground below. After giving Flutterbutt a thorough squashing, she returned above the treetops to fly to where she saw Travis land.

After a quick scan, Dash saw him lying in a small crater, the Rose Nasty lying beside him.

She swooped down to his side and desperately jostled him, fearing the worst, but hoping for the best.

"Travis," she said as panic crept into her mind, "Travis, come on! Get up!"

Travis's eyelid twitched as he groaned in pain. He slowly got to his hooves with help from Dash.

Her mind couldn't comprehend this. Travis was just hit with the biggest sword she had ever seen and he somehow survived.

"How..." she hesitated as she decided to change her question, "Why the buck are you not dead!?"

"Dunno," Travis said as he casually cracked his neck, "Some guys get cut in half by giant swords, and some guys don't, I guess."

Rainbow Dash just figured that maybe it was the way he was built, along with a special kind of magic. That would explain how he survived the energy attacks from the first assassin after all. She noticed that he was not without injury though: his face was scraped and bruised, and his lip was bleeding. It was amazing that he survived with such minimal injuries.

"Remind me to repay that stupid bug for this," Travis said as he wiped the blood from his lip with his sleeve.

"At weast you know how to wepay favows, Mistew Hown Pony."

Knowing that irresistibly cute voice with the adorable speech impediment, the two ponies snapped their heads in its direction to see Flutterbutt hovering in the air a good distance from them.

It looked like Flutterbutt himself had taken a serious thrashing of his own. The edges of two of his wings were slightly torn, and one of his antennae was crimped. He also had a tiny black eye that was just barely noticeable on his little face. "Being nice goes both ways, you know," the insect said, seething in rage, "And you stiww haven't accepted my apowogy."

"Wait! Is that what this clusterfuck's all about," Travis said in disbelief, "You're trying to kill me just because I didn't say, 'It's cool you almost cut my fucking head off!'"

"That," Flutterbutt answered as a breeze began to blow around the three of them, "And aw the othews just wike you!"

The winds around them grew steadily stronger with every word Flutterbutt spoke.

"It's a sewious pain in the abdomen being a gentwe wittle buttewfwy! You go awound spweading joy and hewping othews! Powinating theiw cwops and theiw fwowers, but to we get any thanks fow it? Noooooo. You wepay ouw selfwess acts by destwoying ouw habitats!"

The winds around them became almost too much for Dash and Travis to stay on the ground.

Dash took this chance to make a beeline for Flutterbutt, Blood Berry drawn.

Flutterbutt would not have this during his rant, and swung his tornado-enveloped sword at Dash, sending her up and away as the winds around them became a full blown cyclone that lifted Travis off the ground.

"My pawents taught me that one good tuwn desewves anothew! And I'm hewe to pay back aw the worwd, with intewest!"

Travis couldn't take this anymore. He drew the Rose Nasty once more and started hacking away at the insect assassin. His attacks fell in tandem with those of Rainbow Dash, as she swooped in to cut up the bug a few times before Travis swung again.

Before long, Flutterbutt swung his tornado sword in retaliation at Dash.

She was wise to this trick, and swooped underneath it towards Travis.

She grabbed her friend's hooves and swung him towards Flutterbutt, as he used his magic to spin the blades of the Rose Nasty around him like an oversized buzz saw. Upon passing by his opponent, Travis drew the Peony and swung it down hard on Flutterbutt's head.

The two ponies could practically see the fury radiating from the bug's little body. In a last ditch move, Flutterbutt focused his energy and ejected his opponents out the top of his storm with a burst of wind.

Dash felt the gust ejecting them, and knew that she would be fine, but Travis didn't have any wings to save his flank.

She caught him as she almost passed him by. As the two of them were rocketed upwards, Dash knew that they couldn't keep this up. They would have to end this, and fast. Luckily, speed was her specialty, and she knew exactly what to do.

She deactivated the Blood Berry, and returned it to Travis, who placed it on his belt.

With a mighty flap of her wings Rainbow Dash and Travis both rose high into the air, the speed of their ascent fueled by the tornado around them.

Dash held Travis tightly as the two flew higher and higher past the top of the storm.

Travis looked down and saw the tornado dissipate, creating a window of attack until Flutterbutt whipped up another one.

"Alright, drop me and I'll take care of him," Travis told Dash.

Dash on the other hoof, felt like she had a much better idea. Her wings beat furiously as she carried Travis even higher into the air, using the upward momentum she had gained from the tornado.

"What the hell, Dash," Travis yelled, "He's open!"

"Trust me," Dash said as she stopped ascending when the clouds were just above their heads, "Whatever you're thinking, my idea's way better."

She tightened her grip on Travis and dove at her top speed.

The wind stung both of their eyes, and filled their mouths so that their lips were pulled back by sheer G-force.

As Dash sped up on her descent towards Flutterbutt, Travis began to notice two things: the first was that Flutterbutt was whipping up another tornado to toss them around inside of it like a pair of socks in the dryer.

The second was that there seemed to be a kind of barrier of air building up in front of them as they dove. And it seemed that the faster Dash went, the more solid and defined it became.

Dash saw the tornado growing closer to them, and knew that she still wasn't going fast enough. She began to strain herself, pushing her wing strength past its normal limits to reach a speed most pegasi rarely hit.

The barrier of air between them began to change shape, from a convex dome to a conical point. Once again, she tightened her grip on Travis, and prepared for what was next.

"Get your sword ready! And hang on, 'cause this could really suck!"

Travis did as he was told and readied the Rose Nasty.

The tornado had just reached them when something happened.

First, there was a deafening sound, like a thunderous rumble all around them.

Next, came the blinding spectrum of color that radiated from the two of them, making the tornado disperse as they streaked towards the fluttering assassin.

Travis only just perceived the tip of Flutterbutt's giant katana before he and Dash were impaled on it. He swung one of the Rose Nasty at it, and the pink beam katana streaked a trail of rainbow behind it as it came down, shattering the massive blade. With the other Rose Nasty, Travis raised it up and brought it down hard on Flutterbutt's face.

All three fighters plummeted into the ground, sending a shockwave rippling through the Everfree Forest, and all the way into the streets of Ponyville where some unsuspecting ponies were knocked off their hooves by the sudden force.

Travis and Dash both sat on the ground panting, enjoying the reprieve they earned from this victory. It seemed though, that Rainbow Dash still had some stamina in her, as she suddenly flapped into the air and did a victory loop.

"Did you see that," she yelled as the adrenaline rushed through her body, "That was victory by sonic rainboom!" Dash's wings soon gave way, and she slumped onto her flank next to Travis. With a relieved sigh, she rested her head on Travis's shoulder. "Too bad nopony was watching. I'd be in the Wonderbolts for sure."

Travis didn't respond. It wasn't often that women got this close to him. Usually when they did, they were trying to kill him in some horrible fashion, be it blowing him up, stealing his soul, or clubbing the ever loving shit out of his face.

That last one made Travis shudder a little bit, but his thoughts were interrupted by a sudden shift from Rainbow Dash. Looking over, he saw that now her entire side was pressed up against him.

As a human, Travis was naturally a poor judge of how hot a pony was, but this felt good, and that was what mattered to him at that moment. Then something happened that barely visible in Travis's peripheral vision.

It was as if something just twitched. Something colorful and small, about the size of a jacked-up butterfly.

Travis stood up and drew his weapons. Dash saw Travis's reaction and followed suit by taking the Blood Berry from him, and hovering defensively.

Another twitch happened.

Upon investigation, it turned out that Flutterbutt had not been defeated quite yet, as he was lying on the ground, barely clinging to life.

"Little fucker's harder to kill than a cockroach on steroids," Travis muttered as he looked over the twitching insect.

Dash, remembering the way she felt when she watched Glastits die, turned away to spare herself from witnessing another death.

Travis was about to put Flutterbutt out of his misery, when suddenly--

"Wait," came a soft voice that Travis and Dash recognized.

Travis sheathed his weapons as he and Dash backed away to make room for Fluttershy to step in, shortly followed by Spike.

The two of them looked like they'd been through a rough patch of their own, as scraped and bruised as they were.

Spike walked over to Travis and returned the Tsubaki that Travis loaned him. Afterward, he climbed onto Travis's back and laid down limp, weary from his protection duties.

Fluttershy cautiously approached they dying assassin. Here was a creature that had solely existed for the purpose of killing her, but she couldn't help but feel profound grief and sympathy for him. She picked up the butterfly, and started to cradle him in her trembling hooves.

Throughout her years of taking care of animals, Fluttershy had learned that life was made of meetings and partings, sometimes by the animals going to another home, and sometimes by passing away. She learned that just being there and speaking to the dying was one of the best ways to ease their passing. But she had no words for this butterfly.

She never once in her life met anything like him. Never once did anycreature, be it pony, griffin or minotaur act with such open hostility towards her. She didn't know what to say to the creatures who acted that way. She looked down at him, wanting to cry, but no tears came to her.

Flutterbutt returned the gaze that Fluttershy had been giving him. His whole life, he had never once received any sort of reward for his selfless acts towards others, leaving him unable to know how to handle such a thing. He continued to gaze at the yellow pegasus, until he closed his eyes, never to open them again.

It was in those few moments that Fluttershy gained a connection to her would-be assassin. She knew when somepony was sad or hurting, and Flutterbutt was brimming with both. He was a creature who had nopony to call a friend, or who would praise him for his kind deeds.

Fluttershy found herself relating to him, as there were plenty of times that she felt unappreciated by those around her.

A terrible thought occurred to her: what if one day, she became like Flutterbutt, and she snapped and started hurting others.

With a shuddering gasp, she gently laid the large insect down on a soft bed of small flowers and covered him with a blanket of leaves. Silently, she returned to her friend's side and the four of them made the trek back to Ponyville.

It was Rainbow Dash who decided to break the silence. "Come on. I bet when we get home, Pinkie'll have a huge 'Victory/I'm-So-Glad-You're-Safe Party waiting for us," she said, hoping to lighten the mood.

It seemed to work, for even though Fluttershy remained silent, she smiled and giggled quietly.

"You deserve it," Travis added, "You two look like you've been through hell."

"We ran into a hydra," Spike said, his face buried in Travis's back, "I tried to fight it as best I could, but we ended up running away."

Fluttershy recalled the event, how Spike fearlessly charged the monster, even though it was several times his size, and managed to trip it with one well placed cut. Afterward, they escaped down a steep incline, into a gully that was home to a group of very nasty quarry eels, which he fought off a good number before they escaped.

It was shortly after that a storm brewed, and Spike led her to a shelter on the lee of a large rock before they found their friends. To her, Spike was seriously underselling the story. "He was very brave," she said quietly.

Spike felt a renewed sense of worth building inside of him. Finally, he was going to be able to share an adventure story of his own with the others. "I can't wait to tell everypony how I fought off a hydra on my own."


"YOU LET SPIKE DO WHAT," Twilight raged at Travis as she chased him around Ponyville as her horn glowed malevolently, "I SHOULD THROW YOU TO THE TIMBER WOLVES!!!"

Their chase led them through a number of locales throughout the town, until it took them back to the park where Pinkie was celebrating their victory with their friends.

They all looked on in amusement at the sight. Though they all understood Twilight's protective nature as Spike's adoptive sister, they couldn't help but think that she was overreacting.

Nearby, the animals from Fluttershy's cottage were having a celebration of their own, in honor of Jeanne, who helped insure the safety of them all. Mr. Bear presented a teacup full of cream for Jeanne, held daintily in his claws. Jeanne happily accepted the offering as she and the other animals watched the drama unfold before them.

"Shoot. Twi' sure is mean when she wants to be," Applejack said, as she reached for one of the cupcakes.

She suddenly felt the sting of somepony smacking her hoof away from the tasty treats. She looked to the owner of the hoof that hit her own, to see Pinkie standing next to her.

"Ow! What gives, Pinkie?"

"Those cupcakes are for Travis! So hooves off!"

in one swift movement, Pinkie erected an entire electric fence around that particular platter of cupcakes before admonishing everypony else present.

"That goes for the rest of you too!"

Rainbow Dash decided that the cupcakes were worth a closer look.

It turned out to be just what she suspected: red velvet with a cream cheese and citrus frosting, with chocolate sprinkles. The kinds of cupcakes she made for somepony *ahem* very special to her.

Dash remembered back in the forest, during their reprieve after the victory by sonic rainboom. She couldn't deny that she felt something between herself and Travis, but the cupcakes sealed the deal. Pinkie had staked her claim, and she was not about to back down from it.

With a slightly disappointed smile, Dash resumed watching Twilight and Travis.

Twilight decided to use her magic to end this skirmish. She targeted the tree that Travis was currently hiding behind and began to shake it loose from the ground.

"What the hell are you doing, Sparks," Travis asked, terror barely hidden in his voice.

With a mighty pull and a warrior shout, Twilight completely uprooted the tree and hovered it over Travis.

"No! No! Put that down! Think about it, Sparks! That tree is public property! You're destroying public property just because I--"

WHOMP

FLUTTERBUTT
RAINBOOMED

Next Chapter: Chapter 3: Sultry Assassin Sisters Peaches and Cream Estimated time remaining: 6 Hours, 52 Minutes
Return to Story Description
No More Heroes: Friendship is Fucked!!

Mature Rated Fiction

This story has been marked as having adult content. Please click below to confirm you are of legal age to view adult material in your area.

Confirm
Back to Safety

Login

Facebook
Login with
Facebook:
FiMFetch