Chapter Ten
Say you... say me...

I was nursing my second Maretini when our skittish receptionist returned, still clad in my form.

“Miss Tart has been informed of who you are, she said to bring you to her office right away.” I informed myself, with eager looking eyes.

I let loose an involuntary laugh. Unsurprisingly Moonlight was also chuckling.

The receptionist looked at us in confusion. “What? What did I say?”

“Oh my dear, it wasn’t WHAT you said, it was the way that you said it.” Moonlight said, fighting back tears. “Oh Johnny, so fresh faced and eager to please.” She said, before cracking up again.

“Oh... I see.” The receptionist replied, understanding beginning to dawn. “I-I still have a lot to learn. I guess that’s why they only let me work the front desk. {Sigh}, I try and I try, but I’ll never get this whole ‘pony’ thing down pat.” She says, making her version of my face look downcast and despondent.

“Hey now,” I say quickly. “None of that, you keep frowning like that and you’ll give me wrinkles.” I say lifting her/my chin with a hoof. “You’re doing an excellent job of being me. In fact that’s why we found it so funny.”

“Huh?” she replies in confusion, “what do you mean?”

“Well, Moonlight is seeing emotions that I have never expressed in front of her before. As for myself, I’ve never had the opportunity to see myself in action before. I find it QUITE entertaining.” I assure the young changeling.

This immediately perks my other self up, and she begins chatting away as she leads us to the elevator. Instead of going up however, she presses the button marked B4, and the elevator quickly begins to descend.

“So, um... Miss? Sorry, I never got your name, why exactly were you so despondent about working the front desk?” Moonlight asks, making small talk. “I would have thought that to have been preferable to... um, the ‘other’ duties this establishment would have you do.”

“Ah, well my hive designation is B-8-T-E, which stands for ‘Base level eight trainee, for equines’. But the boss calls me ‘Betty’. As for those ‘other’ duties Miss Moonlight, that’s where all the really GOOD food comes from. All drones do there very best to qualify for the ‘personal service department’.” My other self says earnestly.

“Base level eight trainee for equines.” I repeat aloud. “I surmise that base level eight has something to do with your body type, and perhaps personality? Trainee speaks for itself, but am I given to understand that there are different drone types... uh... ‘trained’, for different races?” I ask.

“Correct in all regards Mr. Detective.” She responds cheerily, smiling with my face in a way that makes me want to laugh all over again. “Base level eight, translating as best, I can basically means petite, perky, sensitive and sweet. Luna was at the upper limit of my body mass limit. So she was quite a stretch for me. Not to mention maintaining the proper attitude. But it’s all on the job training. Once I pass my final exams they’ll move me to my own den, and only give me customers suited to my type.”

“Your ‘type’,” I repeat. “But I always thought a changeling could match anyone, change into anypony.” I say rubbing my chin. A move that our host duplicates much to Moonlight’s amusement.

“Oh, outer appearances we can all generally match, as long as the size isn’t too large or small. But maintaining the proper personality, now THAT can be difficult. Especially if it’s somepony the other pony knows well. That’s why I would be a terrible choice to mimic say... Sombra, for example. I tend to smile too much, and it’s hard for me not to be sweet and sympathetic. That would totally ruin a pony’s Sombra dominance fantasy.” She says earnestly once more.

“Betty, I don’t know about any pony else, but I would pay a weeks worth of bits just to come here and have you say ‘Sombra dominance fantasy’ while looking like Johnny over there.” Moonlight says gesturing at me with a free hoof. As they both share a laugh at my expense.

“Har de har har...” I retort, “and it’s ever so much MORE amusing seeing me laugh at myself.” I add.

Before either one of them can respond the elevator ding’s and the doors open. Both Moonlight and myself take an involuntary step back. A move that has not been lost on my doppelganger.

“From your reaction, I’ll assume that this is the first time either of you have been inside a changeling hive.” She says, making my other face giggle. {Shudder}, okay, that’s disturbing. “Just follow me, and stay close, it’s easy to get lost down here if you don’t have the right scent receptors.” She says setting off at a trot.

We quickly catch up to her retreating form, all the while gazing at the walls and ceiling around us. Everything is composed of a green organic looking material. Actually, as our gazes took in more and more of the hive, it was more like every shade of green. From the bright luminescent green that provided our illumination, to the deep forest green as the materials thickened into the support of the walls. We passed dozens of round side tunnels that were scattered randomly into the walls, as we made our way deeper and deeper into the hive. Finally after a dozen twists and turns we found ourselves facing a beautiful mahogany door set into the wall before us.

“Miss Tart is waiting for you inside. Don’t worry. I’ll be right outside to escort you back whenever you are finished with your meeting.” My other self says, as she opens the door and steps back.

Giving her a smile of thanks I step inside, followed closely by Agent Shadow. The office of Miss Tart was in stark contrast to the one Dr. Brass has. No windows in this one for one thing. I suppose no one wanted a view of dirt and earthworms. For another, although both the desk and furniture ran toward the elegant, the mass of paperwork make it look more like the office of an overworked accountant than that of a madam. This was obviously a working office, make no mistake. And it looked like the pony we came to see was still in the middle of her work.

“What do you mean Tabitha is unavailable?” Miss Tart all but yells into her intercom. “She’s STILL getting smooze out of her mane? Well get Cynthia to cover for her. She’s also a C-5, and tell her to hurry up, Penny Pincher is a bad enough tipper anyway! Love may be enough for you girls, but I need bits to keep this place running!”

Cherry Tart finally turns to face us, and gestures for us to sit down.

Taking a deep cleansing breath, she forces a smile onto her muzzle and says “So, what can I do for YOU today?”

“Miss Tart,” I begin. “My name is Johnny Appleseed, and this is my associate, agent Moonlight Shadow.” I pull out my credentials as Moonlight pulls out hers, as well as the writ I have from Luna. We are conducting an investigation into the whereabouts of a missing pony. I’d appreciate anything that you could tell us about a pony named ‘Babs Seed’.” As I say her name I study her face intently. I get the exact type of reaction that I was expecting.

“WHAT! Babs is MISSING!” She exclaims, rising to her hooves. “Since when?” She demands,” How long ago?”

“Anywhere from one to two weeks at a guess.” I reply. “There was a formal investigation not too long ago, your name was on a list along with other ponies she was associated with. No one from the Night Watch has contacted you before now?” I ask, despite already suspecting that I knew what the reply would be.

“NO!” She fires back. “This is the first I’ve heard of any of this! Please, I knew she hasn’t been around lately, but she told me she’d be busy. She said she had made a big find, and that she might not be around for awhile, but she never would give me any details. I KNEW something was fishy. She always tells me everything. Please, tell me what’s going on. I’ll help you in any way I can!”

I rise from my chair, and step around to her side of the desk.

“You and her,” I say, my voice softening. “Were a couple.”

Moonlight gasps, as Cherry replies, “Yes. She was... IS... my special somepony.” Cherry says, her voice starting to break as she lowers her head into her hooves and rubs her temples.

“I thought so. She had a picture of the two of you together in her work locker. It was taken in a photo booth. I may not be a living example, but I know love when I see it.”

She reaches inside a drawer of her desk, and removes a photo. Wordlessly she passes it to me. I can tell it was taken at the same time as the one in Babs locker. From the looks of it, it was the next one of the line.

“That was the night... the night we told each other that we... that we...” She breaks off as tears start to fall down her cheeks.

Damn. Of all the memories I had to dredge up, it was the night of their confession. Way to go Johnny. Way to be a real horseshoe.

“Calm down, calm down Miss Tart. She hasn’t been missing for that long. And Luna herself has appointed Miss Shadow, just as Celestia has appointed me, to help find her. You have all the resources of the Canterlot royalty behind you. We WILL find your mare.” I declaim confidently.

Cherry looks up at me, as she tries to regain her composure. “S-sorry about that. it’s just... you hear things, about... about ponies that go missing.”

I immediately cut her off. “I know what you are about to refer to, and I can promise you that every magic at our disposal is telling us that that is NOT the case. Believe me, that was the first thing that the authorities checked, and they were VERY thorough.”

“Oh thank Luna!” Cherry says, relief flooding her voice. “We have Griffins and Diamond dogs, as well as human clients... some of the things we hear... {shudder}.”

I place a hoof on her shoulder, as Moonlight joins me on the other side of the desk.

“Miss Tart,” she says gently. “Please, I know it may be difficult. But we need to know everything you can tell us about Babs Seed.”

“O-of course.” She stammers, wiping her eyes.

“Well, I met her just a little less than a year ago. I had a dinner reservation with the former Queen, Chrysalis at La Carrousel, and she was running late. I spent a few minutes at my table indulging in my favorite hobby. Pony watching.”

“Pony watching?” Moonlight asks.

“Oh yes. I’d go to a park, or a mall, find a comfy seat, and just watch the daily antics of all the so called ‘normal’ ponies, as they go about their lives.” Cherry says, a grin briefly appearing on her muzzle.

“By ‘normal’ ponies, are you implying that you are a changeling as well, by any chance?” I ask. If so she’s far better than her receptionist. I never even considered her to be anything other than a pony. Just a gut feeling.

“Oh no, Mr. Appleseed. I can assure you, I’m one hundred percent pony.” She says in reply. “No, I just never considered myself to be all that ‘normal’ by common pony standards. Too much of a free spirit, too ‘out there’, as they say. So I’ll sit and watch as other ponies take their lives so very seriously. It just makes me want to shake my head y’know?

Well, anyway, I was sitting there, sipping my water, and I was watching this poor waitress, obviously new, being dressed down by a customer in Prench, who was complaining about his soup being cold. They were at the next table over, and I could see and hear everything.”

“Cold soup? At THAT fancy Prench restaurant?” I say incredulously.

“Oh wait until you hear the whole story.” She says, grinning once more.

“So apparently they where having some sort of ‘dishes from around the world’ promotion. And what that stuck up Prench pony had before him was clearly a bowl of Gazpacho soup. The Prench idiot obviously had no idea that Gazpacho soup is SUPPOSED to be served cold. And here he was, berating this poor waitress. I mean, not only was it NOT her fault, but it was obvious that she knew little to no Prench, and was having a great deal of trouble responding.

Well, just then I felt a tap on my shoulder and there at my table was this beautiful unicorn, whom I knew to be Chrysalis in the disguise that she always used when we went out. So I whisper in her ear an idea that just occurred to me. A moment later Prancois Hollande trots up to the table and, in expressive prench, demands to know who is being so rude as to disturb his meal.”

“P-Prancois Hollande?!?! Really? You had her impersonate the President of Prance?” I say, laughing despite myself.

“Oh yes. Chrysalis thought it was great fun. She doesn’t get to use her Prench accent very often. The reason for that, is that she does a terribly exaggerated prench accent. It was all I could do to hold back the laughter as she addressed that pompous bastard.”

Putting on her worst Prench accent Cherry intones, “Vous vous plaignez de quoi? Votre Gazpacho est froid? Vous crétin! Gazpacho soupe est censé être servi froid. Attention everypony! Voici le poney qui aime gaspacho chaud!”

“Bwahaha! Oh, that was beautiful. Being dressed down by the president of Prance, inside the most upscale Prench restaurant in Whinnyappleous. So, what did the customer do?” I inquire.

“Well, first he whips around all angry intent on telling off whoever is interrupting his rant. Then he sees the President of Prance, and he shuts up and stands there all wide eyed, and after being prompted once more explains his problem. Well, after Chrysalis gives him his tongue lashing he just falls into his seat in shocked embarrassment. Then Chryssi says “Vous êtes le plus grand embarras à la France depuis Hooflivier Giroud!” Well, that did it. After hearing him say THAT, the poor guy passes out right on the spot... into his bowl of soup!

So there the poor waitress is, her customer passed out, into his soup, and then the manager trots out and prepares to give her a tongue lashing of her own. But then Chryssi, still in her Hollande disguise, explains to him about the customer, and tells him that he has taken a shine to this waitress. Then she goes on about how what an excellent waitress she is, and how marvelous the food is, and how he will be recommending both to all of his colleagues when he returns to Prance. And by that point Babs pretty much has a job for life. So he/she asks the manager if it would be all right for the waitress to come dine with us, and of course it is, so he brings an extra chair over to our table, and Chryssi escorts the still confused Babs over to join us. See, the whole time Chryssi was talking to them, she was doing it in Prench, so Babs had NO IDEA what was going on the whole time!”

Both Moonlight and myself can’t help but to laugh as we imagine how bewildered poor Babs must have been!

“Oh that was one heck of a way to meet somepony,” I say. “So how did that all pan out?”

“Well, an extremely confused Babs sits down with us. Chryssi, still in her Hollande disguise orders a bottle of Ponier-Jouet, directly from the manager, who doesn’t even bat an eye before replying ‘Oui monsieur. Compliments de la maison, pour compenser cette canaille qui a perturbé votre repas.’ It was all I could do to keep my jaw from falling open, let me tell you.” Cherry says shaking her head at the memory.

“Freeow! No wonder. That stuff sells for fifty thousand bits a bottle! And he just GAVE it to you... And to think I saw Chrysalis on stage not too long ago.” I say shaking my head in wonder. “I should have talked her into taking me out to dinner.”

“Ah, well... I don’t know how to break it to you Johnny, but I doubt you’d be her type. I just don’t feel a lot of ‘love vibes’ coming off of you... no offense.” Cherry adds hastily.

“None taken,” I assure her in return. “And I guess you’d be right about that. Anyway, please continue,” I prompt her.

“Well, so after the manager leaves, I quickly explain what she missed out on. She takes a sharp intake of breath when I explain that the pony both the manager and the customer was in awe of was the President of Prance, but I quickly explain to her that the pony across from her is really Chrysalis, former queen of the changelings.

I won’t lie, I kinda expected her to freak out all over again. Most ponies still don’t want to be anywhere near a changeling, and we were talking about one of the most notorious changelings ever known. But instead, Babs goes all ‘fanpony’ on us, and starts asking Chryssi all kinds of questions. Heh, you’d think I had just introduced her to Mustang Bieber. Well Chryssi is lapping it up, she hasn’t had anypony fawn all over her in years. Not only that but it quickly became obvious that Babs had a good head on her shoulders. She was intelligent and witty, not stuck up at all, all three of us hit it off right from the start.

So, anyways, after dinner we exchanged info and started hanging out together. Hitting up bars, a lot of karaoke. Looking back I think that’s where Chryssi got her interest in becoming a singer. I mean you wouldn’t think fangs and a snake tongue were conducive to having a good set of pipes but she could really belt out a tune y’know? Between you and me I think she copies vocal cords on the sly... I’m just saying.

But anyway it was all going great, then after about three months Chryssi starts hanging out with us less and less. She’d always come up with these lame excuses. Finally I cornered her one night and just asked her point blank why she was avoiding us. She gets all red faced and embarrassed and finally admits to me that it was becoming a ‘conflict of interest’.

Well, I start to act like I don’t know what she’s talking about, but she’s having none of that. Since I forced her hoof she just tells me point blank, ‘you’re falling in love with her’. Well, now it’s MY turn to be hugely embarrassed, but before I can say anything, Chryssi adds, ‘and she’s falling in love with you too’.

Well, you can imagine, I was floored. I mean, I hadn’t even come to terms with having feelings for a mare. I mean, as a filly I was always into colts, and when I got older I was always on the hunt for stallions. I never even thought I could have those kinds of feelings for another female. But me and Chryssi were tight. She helped set me up my business. I mean this is still technically HER hive, I’m just sort of the manager. Point is, I knew I could trust her not to lie to me, so if she said I was really in love, and not some little crush, then I knew it was the real deal.

But remember, I also had just been given the second shock of my life, and that was knowing that the pony I loved loved me back. I just sat there for who knows how long. Chryssi sitting across from me, occasionally taking a deep breath of all the extra love I’m just pouring into the ether by the gallon.

Finally she says, ‘okay girl rein it in! By Celestia I’m going to be fat as a hippo if I hang around you while you’re like this’. Then we both put on these goofy grins, and she comes over and throws a hoof around my shoulder and gives me a big hug. I think we sat there for another hour, just kinda drunk on love. Though I admit the occasional belch from Chryssi almost killed the mood.”

Both Moonlight and I are grinning openly. She’s probably remember some old flame. Personally I was finding the mental image of Chryssi sitting on a couch, occasionally scratching herself, and then letting out a huge belch to be hilarious. (And If I’m being honest, somewhat sexy. What that says about myself, I don’t even wanna know.)

My thoughts are interrupted, as Cherry resumes her story.

“So after that Chryssi keeps badgering me to tell Babs how I feel. I didn’t know it at the time, but it came out later she was doing the same thing with Babs. But apparently we were both being stubborn as Equus mulus. This didn’t sit well with Chryssi, because in the first place, she could literally ‘see’ the love between us, so to her everything else was just wasting time. And in the second place, she just really wanted to see her two friends ‘get it on’.”

Moonlight looked at Cherry scandalized, while I just chuckled in amusement.

“Just think about it for a moment agent Shadow. She’s a changeling, to her it would basically mean having her two friends take her to an all you can eat buffet. I doubt she’d even pay attention to all of the ‘biological stuff’ that would be going on in the background.” I say, trying NOT to have a mental image of what that couch would look like at that point... and failing. What Cherry says next doesn’t help.

“Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure about that.” She says. “Every pony has at least one ‘kink’ deep inside them. It just so happens that Chryssi is a terrible voyeur. As a matter of fact-”

“Okay, I’m going to stop you riiiight there.” I interrupt, before I develop a more ‘obvious’ interest in the story. “If you could Cherry, please focus on Babs for now.”

“Oh, right. Sorry. Well finally it got to a point where Chryssi took matters into her own hoof, and went to see each of us disguised as the other, and told us to meet the other at this big Hearts and Hooves Day event going on down town that Saturday second night. Now I should have suspected something from the start, but ‘Babs’ really seemed like she wanted us to go, and she said it would be the three of us, so I said to myself what the hay.

So of course when I get there, Babs was there by herself sitting on a bench. I sat down next to her and asked her if she had heard from Chryssi. She says no. About that time a bouquet of red and white carnations lands between us with a card attached. We look up and see Chryssi blowing us a kiss before flying off. Well, by that time we both have figured out that we’d been set up. I’m muttering something unprintable about changelings while I tear open the envelope and we both lean in together to read what’s on the card. It was pure white parchment paper, with four words on it in letters of gold. ‘GET ON WITH IT!’, was what it said.

Well, naturally we were both beyond embarrassed, so we kinda sat there for a bit, the silence becoming long and awkward. Finally, just to break the ice, I reach over and pull a carnation from the bouquet, and start nibbling on the petals. ‘Well,’ I say, ‘if nothing else Chryssi has good taste in flowers, and I WAS starving’. Well, that helped, so now Babs pulls one out and starts munching, and we sit there going back and forth until there was one left, I mean leave it to Chryssi to get an odd number of flowers in a bouquet right? So Babs, after hesitating a moment says ‘W-well, we could share the last one’. And she leans in and takes a nibble out of her side. So, well, I do the same, and the next thing you know we both go for a bite at the same time and our muzzles brush together.

We both pull back at the same time, eyes wide. Then Babs takes the stem from my hooves, and tosses it aside as she gives me this sly smile, then she starts leaning forward again, and somehow I find myself doing the same, and we both kinda sorta got all kissy for an eternity or two. Until we hear a voice from on high yell ‘YES!... FINALLY!’

And we’ve been seeing each other ever since. I thought at first she might have a problem with what I did for a living, but she was totally cool with it. If anything I was the one more often put out, what with her trips back and forth to Manehatten. She has this hobby see, archeology. She even knows the head of a museum. That’s actually the last word that I had from her. She went to Manehatten to see him, then a few days later I got a letter from her telling me she would be another week, that she was onto something big, the ‘find of a lifetime’ she said. And that was the last I heard from her. Or from anyone about her for that matter. I just assumed that she was still working on whatever it was that she was talking about. Then you two show up and tell me she’s missing.” Cherry finishes, the look of concern returning to her face.

“Can you think of anypony else she may have contacted besides yourself?” I ask.

“Just Chryssi, but she would usually just go through me to leave a message for her. What about her work, have you tried there? She replies.

“Ah, yes, we have.” I reply evasively, not wanting to give anything away. “They seem to have been under the impression that she had quit.” Which was technically true. The manager WAS about to clean out her locker, before it cleaned itself out in the most thorough way possible.

“No way. Babs would never quit that job. Ever since that day with me and Chryssi she had the manager eating out of her hoof. No way she would give up a gig that soft.” Cherry replies adamantly.

I was about to add something else, when all three of us were thrown violently from our hooves, as the whole floor shook, and dust from the ceiling rained down on us.

“What in Tartarus was that?” Cherry says, her eyes going wide. “Did we just have an earthquake?”

“Can’t be,” Moonlight replies. This is one of the most geologically stable cities in all of Equestria, it was one of the reasons that Luna chose it.”

Almost as if in direct contradiction of Moonlight’s statement, the floor and walls shook again. Not as bad as before, but this time we could all hear the muffled sound of something impacting on the ceiling.

Then I remembered, we were four floors underground. Oh Goddess, the building was collapsing.

“Quick, is there any other way out of here besides the elevator.” I say, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

“There’s a service tunnel at the back that connects all the subfloors to the outside. Why, what’s going on.” Cherry asks in confusion.

“What’s going on is I think your building is collapsing.” I state. “We need to get everybody out that exit as quickly as possible.”

“No, no way, how could my building be collapsing. I used the best architect in all of Whinnyappleous, this building was guaranteed to stand for two hundred years.” Cherry states in disbelief.

Before I can reply, a loud grinding noise shudders its way through our hearing. Looking up we can see cracks start to appear in the ceiling. We didn’t have long.

Fortunately, that was all it took to convince Cherry, who pulled a fire alarm set into the wall of her office. The alarm claxon drowned out the sound of the ceiling cracking.

“How is that even working?” Moonlight asked. “For that matter if the building really is collapsing, how are the lights even on?”

"All my wiring was installed underground. I didn’t want the power poles cluttering up the view of my building.” Cherry replies, as we all hurry toward the rear stairwell.

When we got there, the hallway was packed with over fifty changelings, who were trying in vain to clear the doorway. We could tell as we approached that it was a lost cause. Huge chunks of rubble blocked it off, and a cloud of dust hung in the air.

Moonlight looked at me. “We could try to blast our way through.” She said, more as a question, than a statement of fact.

“Doubtful,” I say in response. “If I were to guess, I’d say we’d have three floors of rubble to get through. It’d be easier to tunnel through the wall, except I don’t think we’ll have time for either. I’d say all we can do is t-”

This time, I’m the one cut off by a much louder cracking sound. As I look up a jagged crack begins to run from the stairwell ceiling back down the hallway. As we look in horror, the ceiling slowly begins to sag.

“NO!” I shout, bracing all four legs and desperately start channeling magic up into the ceiling.

Buck me! This is seriously heavy. I won’t last long unless I cheat, but before I try that, I yell to Moonlight. “I’ll hold the ceiling, you teleport as many as you can at a time up to the surface. Go with them to make sure they are safe, then come back for the next load. Don’t worry, I got this!” I say, lying through my muzzle.

“Are you insane!” Moonlight yells back above the noise. “You can’t possibly hold up that many floors worth of debris, your skull will explode from trying. We need to get out now and take as many as we can with us.”

I only have moments before I need to start cheating, no time to pull punches. “Really?” I yell back harshly. “Fine then. Look around you and pick out who gets to live, and who dies. Go ahead… I’ll wait. Not like I’m doing anything here!”

Moonlight gives me a look of pure hate, as she turns toward Cherry, and the receptionist who still hasn’t given up looking like me. What she sees is over fifty very scared beings, some of them beginning to cry. She whips her head back around to face me. Her face still filled with rage.

“FINE!” She yells, in a voice worthy of Luna. But you damn sure better be holding up your end of the deal when I come back.”

I laugh weakly, “heh, hold up… good one Shadow. Now get the Hells out of here.”

Moonlight and Cherry quickly begin getting the swarm organized into groups of six, the maximum that Moonlight can teleport through that much debris. Finally freed of distractions, I could start up a very complex bit of last ditch magic.

Three of the runes embedded in my body begin to glow, as I start tapping reserves of power. Two of these three store up kinetic energy every time I move and store it for future use. I can convert the energy into magic, or use it to enhance my physical body. I start channel these reserves through my horn to help support the ceiling. I could tell, it wasn’t going to be enough.

Moonlight was only on her second load of changelings, and I had already used up twenty percent of my stored juice in the first rune. Some quick calculations let me know I was going to come up woefully short on energy from my two kinetic runes. And that was where the third rune came in.

How much do you know about anatomy? No, not the tab ‘A’ into slot ‘B’ part. I’m talking the interesting parts that we don’t ever think about because we don’t want to freak out every five minutes. Here’s a fun fact. We are only about ten percent ‘us’. The other ninety percent is made up of various parasites and symbionts that share our bodies with us.

Everything from the plants in our intestines,(five hundred different species of bacteria in our intestines alone,) that help us break down food, to the viruses and bug larva that we inhale every time we breathe. Each of us is basically a ‘colony’ animal. (I try to balance this with the fact that our bodies are also around forty percent stardust… so that’s kind of cool).

Reason I bring this up is, that as the landlord of this property I call Casa de Johnny, I’m about to call the rent due… All of it. As Moonlight comes back for another group of changelings I feel the first storage rune go dead, it’s energy depleted. As the second shoulders the load I begin to use the third rune to channel energy into the depleted one.

This energy is being stripped from basically every living thing inside my body, along with anything else that isn’t absolutely necessary to keep me alive. All the parasites go first, then, reluctantly most of the symbionts. I save a few cultures of intestinal plants and bacteria from my wrath, on the outside chance that I live though this. If I do, I probably would like to be able to eat again.

Down through my body from head to hoof I go, like a grim reaper, culling every source of energy I can. All the excess fat cells are drained dry, not a lot there, that’s what I get for staying in shape. Sweet Celestia, if I get out of this everything I eat for a week will be fried in vegetable oil… even the cake.

I notice Moonlight flash back and out again. I have no idea how far along she is. It’s taking all my concentration to hold up the ceiling and fill up my runes at the same time.

It doesn’t matter. Every minute I can hold out means that many more lives saved. That’s all that matters.

First rune is filled, and just in time, my second one is flickering. I switch the first back on and continue channeling power as I struggle to find something left to fill the second one with. My skin has already begun to sag. Between the loss of life forms and fat cells I’m looking pretty emaciated at this point. But I have to keep going.

Okay, what else? What do I have left to work with. I guess I can do without the musculature at this point. I ease myself into a sitting position and drain my muscles dry.

What else. Hmm, follicles aren’t necessary, really they are just cosmetic. I feel a chill draft, as I suddenly become a bit lighter. I don’t look down. I may sound glib inside my head, but I really don’t want to see all of my coat, mane, and tail, lying on the floor beneath me.

Behind me I hear someone gasp. I can only imagine what I must look like at this point. A skeleton covered in loose folds of skin. Skin that is being pulled downward by all the metal runes embedded in it, now visible for all the world to see. So many runes left untapped, but totally useless for holding up a ceiling. I really need to send Celestia a letter about that. Even my most powerful trick, my alpha rune would be totally useless right now. If only I could tap into the magic in them without using them.

Crap, the first rune is already sputtering. More of the floors above must have collapsed onto the pile adding more weight. As it goes out, I swap over to the second one again, it’s only got about a ten percent charge. Crap, won’t be long now. Moonlight winks back in and back out. One more group saved. See Johnny, isn’t that worth a little hair? Six more lives… yeah, that’s a fair trade.

Ah, the second rune has started to flicker. Guess this is it. Well, it’s been a good… well, it’s been an INTERESTING life. Only real regret was Twilight. I wish I could have somehow-

Suddenly Moonlight reappears, her body covered in dripping ichor.

“You look like crap,” I croak out, my voice thin and wheezy.

“Oh YOU are one to talk,” she says, scooping me up like a baby colt. “Time to go home Johnny,” are the last words I hear before blackness engulfs me.

Author's Notes:

Sorry for the wait, hope you think it was worth it
Fun bit of info. All of Johnny's comments about anatomy were true. We really are only about 10% pure human/pony. The rest are all sorts of plants and bacteria, etc. Also scientists estimate that around forty percent of our body is made up of stardust.
("I am mad scientist... so cool!")
{Points to those who know where THAT quote came from...rofl}