Before I begin, I should mention a few things Cadance and Rarity shared with me which I wrote about in the glossary, but never mentioned in the entries that followed. I think those concepts are clear enough from the glossary itself, so I'm not going to elaborate, but I'll provide a few missing details here.

Cadence told me about the snarl, which I forgot to mention (at least, I glossed over the conversation), although I did write about my brother doing it in the recent orgy. That was the weird sneering thing I had also seen vamponies doing in the {Big Macintosh, Cheerilee, Pinkie-Pie, Rarity, Thunderlane} orgy. (Good grief. I actually have to label the orgies to keep them straight now. Although, back in the Crystal Kingdom, Pinkie Pie told me that orgies were planned events... so maybe this is what she called 'group sex' instead. I'm certainly no expert. Sexpert? Heh. I do miss you, Pinkie.)

The weird look of the detection method is because the vomeronasal sensing organ is centered within the upper lip, right at the gumline (I might have written about this previously, but I don't recall). Of course, ponies shouldn't even have a vomeronasal sense. I'd assume the DNA-rewriting has something to do with it, but Cadance has insisted to me that everypony has this sense, and it works. It's just not keen at all unless you're a vampony. But even having a vomeronasal sense at all (when ponies don't secrete pheromones) flies in the muzzle of everything I know about pony biology. Was this sense another thing Celestia supposedly censored? I doubt it. My sister being delusional is a more likely hypothesis.

I also asked Cadance about the Cutie Mark Crusaders because I remember one of them (I think Apple Bloom—no wait, I don't want to take a walk down memory lane right now) telling me that they'd already been broken, but Cadance told me that breaking wasn't supposed to happen prior to the cute-ceañera. As I suspected, this is simply because the vamponies hadn't yet come up with the idea of using the Breakstone on foals as a rite of passage, so they just broke the Crusaders from the beginning. Not surprising. As I may have mentioned before, pretty much everypony I've talked to admits that the whole 'culture' thing they've produced here is being created on the fly, even though they claim the Order of Spring is 'guiding' them, and there are some historical influences they're copying (undoubtedly due to Princess Luna, her Night Guard, and the crystal ponies all being roughly a millennium behind the times). Note to self: I've been inconsistent in capitalizing "Night Guard", probably because I'm still waffling over the right way to do it. Usually Royal Guard is capitalized when you're speaking about them collectively but not when... wait, no, this is dumb and doesn't matter. Luna is waiting, so I need to focus.

It was Rarity who clued me in on the cutie dark thing. Hers is three horse vulvas, not a surprise given the geometry of her diamonds. I haven't asked anypony else so the only cutie darks I know so far are hers (by her word), Pinkie's, and Fluttershy's. Rarity also told me about the 'nick' appellation which is more of a joke than an actual thing at the moment. Apart from those and the materials information, everything else in the glossary came directly from Princess Cadance. Rarity's also thinking of calling the 'nick' thing a 'dickname' instead, which I have to admit is pretty amusing. And earlier (during the orgy behind my back, most of which I slept through) I overheard my brother talking about somepony called Slamming Harder 'coming out', so I'm pretty sure that's his, um... dickname. Wow, this is just incredibly silly. I almost think my friends are crazy just for being so creatively hilarious, to be frank. Anyway, for more laughs, I've listed the other 'dicknames' I know in the glossary already.

Well, except for mine (the one Rarity and Cadence have suggested for me, I mean). That one is unspeakably terrible. Period, end of sentence, full stop.

Okay. So I'm writing this after the fact, and (once again) this is just prior to me grilling Princess Luna about the Order. (She's awfully patient by herself, as I saw the previous time. Is she used to being alone? I guess that doesn't apply as much now that she's cuddling with her 'consort'.) Hopefully our upcoming conversation will lead to some answers. But that's the next entry (most likely, but who the hay knows).

When I left off, I was in Luna's room. After I finished writing, she opened the door and whispered something to Shadowbane before closing the door. Less than a minute later, Shining Armor entered the room.

"Hay Twily! You can leave the book here for now," he said, tilting his neck in a 'come hither' motion. I reluctantly followed, without saying anything (not having something to say has been a new experience for me over the past two months, I must admit; maybe I'm more like Pinkie than I realize).

"Do try and have the fun, Twilight," called Luna as my brother led me out of the room. "In like spirit, so shall I do, myself. Shadowbane is about to order Lady Cadance to fetch my consort."

Shining Armor shut the door, and I thought it better not to ask what Luna meant by 'consort'. I followed him down the hallway.

"It looks like we're headed to the throne room," I said, trying to pry more information out of him. (Remember my trick? It works, Journal.)

My brother fuzzled my mane with a hoof. He was restricting himself to all-fours, probably to make me feel less antsy. Can't say that I blame him, even though (mainly to my amusement, as it's the thought that counts) he was still 'out' and flopping around down there.

"Heh, I should know better than to think I could pull a fast one on you, Twily. Yes, that's where we're headed to have audience with the Mayor of Ponyville." I stopped dead in my tracks, and he turned to face me.

"Is... is she one of you?" I whispered. I couldn't imagine Ms. Mare signing on to this under any circumstance, I just couldn't. She was perspicacious, proper, poised, percipient, professional, and prudent: everything the vamponies aren't. (Note to self: should that be 'on to' or 'onto'? Or either one...? Look this up later when not surrounded by vamponies, assuming that happens.)

Shining shook his head. "No. That's what you're here for. Well, that, and for her and us to share a wonderful experience with you."

I laughed, not even in mockery, but reflexively at the sheer absurdity. "If you think I'm going to help you turn her, you're crazier than I thought, BBBFF." (Not sure how the acronym slipped out again.)

My brother reared up on his hind legs, and stooped down to grasp my shoulders in his hooves. "Twily, listen to me. This thing is going to happen. You can't stop it. Do you really want the Mayor to suffer any more than she needs to?" (Okay, I'm pretty sure that one is 'any more' rather than 'anymore'.)

"I... I don't want you to do this to her at all!" I said. I went from laughing to teary-eyed pretty quickly. The futility was rapidly sinking in.

Shining Armor sighed. "Twilight, she's going to fall before sunset. Surely you can see this. But you're closer to her than any of us are," he said. "You alone have the power to make her transition comfortable. She'll be happy either way, but why compound her suffering even just for one night? Haven't you already done enough of that to yourself?"

My voice caught in my throat. His words struck me where it hurt the most (psychologically speaking). "O-okay," I croaked. Then I meekly accepted a hug from my brother. Now he remained on two hooves as he turned and led me onward, and I followed with no resistance. I mean, he was right, obviously. It wasn't like there was anything I could do to save her, right?

Right?

At first glance, the throne room seemed unchanged. The double-doors at the main entrance were closed and undoubtedly guarded by vamponies. My brother led me in through a side entrance and nodded to Moon Black and Shadowbane, who were already present and waiting. After the nod, all three stallions dropped to all fours and slowly, um, "retracted", obviously to put their upcoming victim at ease. After a few minutes, Princess Cadance walked in through the main entrance, bringing Mayor Mare with her. The guards shut the door behind them, and I heard the faint sound of metal scraping against metal.

The Mayor speed-walked down the carpet, not waiting for Cadance to catch up. "Greetings, Prince Shining Armor. I am aware that Princess Celestia is out of state at the moment, so I assume I am to audience with Princess Luna?" she asked. "I need to speak with her immediately, as well as with you and Princess Cadance. Something sinister is happening in Ponyville, and we are in urgent need of any assistance you can provide."

"Princess Luna is indisposed at the moment. She needs some down time, given that her responsibilities have essentially tripled," said Cadance, catching up to the Mayor. The latter had been so focused on her brisk approach to the throne that I was fairly certain she hadn't noticed me yet.

"It's true," said Shining Armor, stepping forward while I stayed back. "Even between Princess Luna, Cadance, and myself, we can hardly keep up. Princess Celestia is certainly an amazing mare. I don't know how she does it."

"Well, then I need to speak with..." said the Mayor, and then she turned her head to the side. "Princess Twilight Sparkle?" she said, with a gasp. "Oh, thank the Sun! I've been worried sick about you."

Shining Armor stepped close to the Mayor, then gently tugged her forward a few hooves. Hidden amid the red carpet were four carefully-fashioned and camouflaged hoof shackles. They glowed with my brother's aura as they snapped onto her ankles.

"I'm... I'm so sorry, Ms. Mare," I said, walking slowly forward. I felt terrible, and I'm sure it showed on my face.

Then I saw her reaction, and something... something changed. Something deep inside of me shifted in a way I'd never expected.

As the Mayor stared at me, I could see the horror rising as the color slowly faded from her face. However, I knew what I was truly witnessing was all of the remaining hope draining out of her body, like a toilet being flushed. She knew she was doomed. Momentarily, I imagined her being smashed flat by a boulder, right after she sees her own viscera, but before her heart finally gives. It was that sudden, horrid grasp of mortal doom in her eyes, when you know it's all over no matter what you do. The split-second realization that the end is real and inescapable, despite all the walls your mind has put up over the years to protect you from ever having that single, terrible thought. You know you're done. And at that moment, you could finally rest and accept your fate, if only you could get past the terror that a billion years of evolution has permanently etched into your brain. I suspect few ponies in such a ghoulish situation will succeed. But ultimately, it doesn't matter either way, does it? It's the end (of that life, at least). Game over.

And yet, I thought... I thought...
Oh heavenly Celestia, I actually thought...

Good.

Yes. This horrible feeling is what she should experience. This is right. Let the full force of the poor mare's will spill out of her like a bursting dam.

Holy shit. Where did those atrocious thoughts come from!? Working overtime, my subconscious mind quickly rationalized my feelings: Mayor Mare was doomed even before she trotted into the room. Wasn't she? None of this was my fault, and there was certainly nothing I could do about it. I didn't want her to suffer, and logically speaking, the sooner her desperation shriveled to dust, the better off she'd be. It just made sense to want it. It was like putting a beloved suffering pet out of their misery, except here the pet—the animal—was a living, breathing, brilliant, accomplished mare who I deeply respected and admired. But I wanted that suffering to come to an end. This feeling was normal. I was helping her, out of compassion. (Or so I forced myself to believe.)

What I didn't understand was the tingling sensation deep within my cunt. There was a cancer growing inside me. I didn't want to face it. I pretended it wasn't there. I made myself believe that I was doing this as an act of kindness, and nothing more.

We all patiently waited for the realization to fully settle in. Clearly, she'd seen my horn-cuff, not to mention the unusual collar which bore resemblance to Princess Cadance's collar. One hoof began to rattle hard against the carpet, the sound only slightly muffled by the soft layer of fabric.

And then, she screamed: "SOMEPONY HELP ME!!!"

I'd never heard anything that blood-curdling before in my life. It was almost infantile, her voice even squeaking into whistle register. It was like a little filly screaming, but not the play kinds of screams foals like to make. It was the the type of scream that, as a parent, you hope you never, ever have to hear. The distinct sound made in response to extreme fear or pain. A scream that says, "Mommy, Daddy, I'm being torn to pieces by a timber wolf". That's the kind of scream it was. Evolution ensures ponies are mentally hardwired to react to that specific brand of scream, so it's not surprising the vamponies winced right along with me.

The Mayor's scream felt like the last, desperate breath of oxygen finally forced out of the lungs of a drowning foal. It horrified me, yet there was something strikingly beautiful about it. Maybe, I thought, it was because this very moment was the lowest point for her. Things could only get better now. It was all uphill from here. Good news, right?

Right?

Shining Armor's aura closed around the Mayor's mouth, and she whined mournfully through her nose as the tears began to drip down her cheeks. I never in my wildest dreams could have imagined seeing this stately lady cry, like a helpless waif...

"It's okay, I swear," soothed Princess Cadance, leaning her neck down a little to meet her at eye level. "You're not in any trouble, and we're not going to hurt you or harm you. Twilight Sparkle can help explain things. You're going to be just fine, we promise."

"Now then, Ms. Mare, can you use your inside voice?" said Shining Armor, as though lecturing a schoolfoal. The Mayor nodded and sniffed, and the aura disappeared. She gasped and began to hyperventilate. I cantered up to her, a sad smile adorning my lips.

"I'm here now, Mayor. It's... it's okay, it really is," I told her, petting her mane. I had no right to pet her mane, of course, and the unexpected touch caused her to blush. But she relaxed for a few moments.

Then all three stallions in the room took the stance, fully unsheathed and erect.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Guys. Seriously?" I asked them, prompting a giggle from Cadance and stern looks from the others.

"Twilight, why am I in chains?" she whispered, eyes downcast and blush fierce. "Why is your brother showing off his... genitals? Please, please tell me there's an answer to all this." Then her eyes widened with a new thought, and they refilled with moisture. "Oh my Stars, please tell me they're not going t-to r-r-rape..."

"We're not going to rape you," said Princess Cadance.

"What have you done to Twilight?" the Mayor asked Cadance. (I didn't have a chance to answer her previous question, but I figured it would be obvious soon enough.)

"It's okay," I lied. "I... I can't cast magic right now, but I'm fine. I'm not hurt, or anything like that. I'm comfortable and well."

The Mayor looked back and forth from Cadence to me, averting her eyes from the rest of the cocktastic display. "You, not using magic!? That isn't 'fine', Twilight! Help me understand what's going on. I'm... I'm scared," she admitted.

"We've discovered something wonderful that we're going to share with you," Cadance cooed. "You'll love it, I promise. But it needs to be kept secret, so we have to take some precautions until the process we put you through has followed to completion."

"Process?" Ms. Mare looked at Cadance, then turned her head and stared right into my eyes. I struggled to think up something that might quell that awful look of confusion.

"They're... going to change you, a little. Physically and mentally. To make you stronger," I said. "You'll still be the same pony." That was a lie, and I knew it. But it was a white lie... no, not a white lie, but a lie that helped. (I still suspect Applejack wouldn't have approved.)

"You're using the pronoun they, rather than we," the Mayor said softly. "Have you been changed, Twilight? You certainly don't look 'stronger' to me." (Yeah, that stung a little.)

"Twilight isn't quite ready to be processed," Shining Armor interjected. "We won't proceed on her without her full consent, but I'm sure it will happen very soon. Then she will be happy, just like the rest of us."

I nodded. "It's true," I said. (That time, I wasn't actually lying. I believed it.)

"I don't want to do this process, whatever it is," said the Mayor, shaking her head with her eyes fixed on the carpet. Princess Cadance looked at me, nodding. I took that as my cue. I needed to help... to help my friend across that final leg of acceptance. Not doing so would only prolong her torture.

I had to do it. I didn't have a choice. These thoughts echoed over and over in my mind as I readied myself to speak.

"Ms. Mare, look at me," I said. She sniffled and gave me her full attention. "I'm being honest when I say everypony who goes through this process—which means becoming a vampony—is extremely happy that they did, without exception."

"Vamponies? That's a foal's myth!" she said, staring into space for a moment before turning back to me. "Then why are you resisting?" she asked, her brow deeply furrowed.

"Well, I... I honestly don't want to resist," I said, knowing it for the truth it was. "I've sworn an oath to Princess Celestia, and to a few of my friends, that I will continue to resist for the time being." I didn't like hearing how stupid that excuse sounded. It didn't seem to make any sense. Why was I resisting? Some kind of expectation, or something? A vow? I promised Princess Celestia I would never give in, but even she seemed to worry about the stress I was putting on myself. My mind began to wander. Why should I bother to keep fighting like this?

"There are a few things we're going to do to you," said Cadance, which snapped me back to attention. "Rarity is going to mark you..."

"Oh no—not Rarity. She's lost her mind! That's why I came..." said Mayor Mare. Her voice trailed off as she connected the dots, and then I saw her wince at the realization. "Ah. I see."

Princess Cadance opened her mouth, then closed it again. (My guess: she was about to correct the captive mare and say Rarity had lost her marbles, not her mind... but then realized that it was an incredibly stupid idea.)

"It's really okay," I said, petting the Mayor's mane again. She didn't react one way or the other to it this time, which gave me an icky feeling in my stomach. Then I heard hoofsteps quickly approaching. A moment later, Rarity was standing in front of us.

"Hello, Ms. Mare!" Rarity said brightly, with a big smile. She pulled a small metal cart behind her, on which sat marble shoes and a marble collar. "Don't worry, you will be just fine, and you are simply going to love both of your procedures. Now, let me just take that stuffy collar for the time being," she said, and quickly stripped the Mayor nude of her neck dress. "There we go! Now put your hooves in these, please."

I just realized something. What did she mean by "both of your procedures"? Wouldn't it be all three? She must have meant breaking and turning, I suppose, but the vernacular is particular about separately defining three parts to the process (which doesn't include the baubles), so it seems a little odd.

The Mayor didn't resist. She just kept looking to me for help, and I just nodded back each time she did. On went the shoes, the collar, and the earrings. I watched, transfixed at how simple and straightforward this part of the transformation was, even if it wasn't officially one of the three steps. This noble mare already looked like a cunt to me, even if no actual change had taken place. A few more baubles on me, and I'd be equally conspicuous, I realized. To match my collar and earrings, an ounckse with a marble ring... or maybe even a marble horncap (shudder). No wait, I doubt the cornectomy would take place before I lost my marbles, so Rarity probably doesn't even make those.

"Twilight, face me now," said Shadowbane in his odd accent, as Rarity trotted off toward the side entrance I'd entered by, taking the empty cart with her. I turned to the side to face him, and the formidable nightwing held me in place by my horn, which sent an erotic shiver through my skull—especially given the dripping cock dangling centimeters from my nose. (His dick smelled like something, which was frightening, but the weird, earthy odor was somehow... affecting me. I mean in a way other than sheer disgust, which was surprising. It instantly reminded me of Thunderlane, but the scent was distinctly different, as is my brother's scent. I can't detect pheromones, so why is there a hoofprint? Eh, it's probably arbitrary.)

Shadowbane's wings wrapped around my head, practically blinding me. "Master Shining does not wish for you to witness something until the morrow. Trappings of the trade," he explained.

I heard a spell being cast, then Shadowbane released me, and I turned back to face the Mayor.

"What was that spell?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I honestly don't know. I didn't see it."

"It was the reaping," said Shining Armor, nodding toward Princess Cadance.

She nodded back to her husband (or Master, more like—I'm not even sure what marriage means here, but I should ask about that soon—is being owned anything like being married...?), then she faced the Mayor. "It tells us the best way that we can help you. As predicted, you're what we call a 'lost one', which means you'll be getting plenty of attention," said Cadance, with a smile.

"Predicted?" asked Ms. Mare.

"It's probably because you're a mare," I said, and sighed. "Er, not your family name. I mean you're a girl. You're female."

All three stallions chuckled in response. Moon Black spoke first. "Neigh, not primarily from that cause. The likelihood is due to her chieftain nature, by calling and cutie mark."

Shining Armor stepped forward a little. "Just to clarify in case it wasn't clear, Master Moon Black means you're a lost one because you're most suited to work in a position of great responsibility," said Shining Armor, addressing the Mayor directly. "The wide majority of ponies in positions of authority—including most princes and guards, by the way—are lost ones, just like you and Twilight. Those who aren't, are almost always Ladies like Cadance, which is the next level up. We three stallions are uncommon exceptions," said my brother. "Most Masters aren't like we are. They usually come from the working and noble classes, like Big Macintosh, or Night Light, our (motioned to me) father."

This was the first time I'd heard of this concept. I was a lost one because I worked in a position of power? But from what I understood, role is mostly innate. It's not like I was a princess before I met my friends, right?

No. It was exactly like that.

Journal... my entire life, I've pushed myself like crazy. I've taken responsibility after responsibility upon my saddle, and I've even blamed myself for the failures of others. (I still do this, by Tartarus, and I'm even doing it in this very entry!) I'm a leader because I have to be, yes, but I see now that this forceful drive isn't external, as I'd long assumed it to be. The motivation to prove my worth comes from within. I never feel truly satiated, no matter how much I succeed in life. I feel like an impostor pretending to be a princess, a pony who never deserved to meet Celestia, much less work as her protégé. I realize now that this is a big part of who I am as a pony. I mean, it's who I am. It's what I am. That struggling leader is precisely what I need to be.

So is it true that a cunt is also what I precisely need to be? I'm not sure. I don't see how being a leader relates to being a cunt. They seem to be total opposites, which is part of the reason I'm able to resist. However, one of the most important things I've learned from sex is that I need to be out of control sometimes, Journal. Maybe that's the only way I can truly relax, and it's the relaxation that makes this all so sexy. I hate to write this, but the idea makes a lot of sense—maybe not the whole cunt-leader correspondence thing, but the general idea of why I feel like I need to be told what to do. (But obviously, something finally seeming to make sense doesn't excuse any of these other horrors. Not by a long shot.)

"Now we're going to do something called 'breaking' you," said Cadence. A look of horror passed over the Mayor's face, but just as quickly it disappeared. I could tell she'd already been 'broken' psychologically, in a sense.

"Don't worry, it won't hurt," I said, "maybe a little bit of a headache at most."

Shining Armor retrieved something from under the throne: a Breakstone box, of course. He set it in front of Mayor Mare, and then he crouched oddly toward her, his cock bobbing near her face. She swallowed hard, but looked stalwartly up past the nasty penis-boner and into his face.

"There's a part of an adult pony's brain we call the stain," he explained in a slow rhythm as he tapped the center of his captive's forehead with a hooftip. "Right about here, in the front of the organ. It causes certain ponies to act and think irrationally. We have a special tool to break it."

"You'll feel so much better when you're free of the stain!" added Cadence. "All you need to do is look at the stone in the box, and try to relax. That's all there is to it."

She closed her eyes, shivered, and spoke quietly. "This... no. This is completely insane. I'd rather be raped than have brain damage—I'd almost rather die!" There was a short pause. "Please don't rape or kill me," she added.

My brother and sis-in-law both looked at me. I turned my head toward Ms. Mare and took a deep breath. It's my responsibility to see this through. Not because I want to hurt my friend, but because I care so much about her, I thought to myself.

"Ms. Mare?" I said.

"What," she softly replied, letting the word fall out of her mouth like a chunk of lead.

"Do it," I urged. She finally opened her eyes and looked at me with confusion etched across her muzzle.

"W-why?"

"You'll feel better. A lot better."

She looked incredulous. "It's my brain! Holy horsefeathers, Twilight." (I'm sure I blushed, having never heard the Mayor swear before.)

"Look, Princess Cadence had it done. She's the exact same pony she's always been, except now she's less... socially inhibited," I explained. "Her brain is just fine. Everypony who gets broken is glad they did. There hasn't been an exception yet."

"Have you allowed this to happen to your brain, Twilight?" Her stare was forlorn, but it carried with it a hint of accusation.

I paused. "Not yet. I'm bound by the oath, as I said before. But I'm sure I will be broken eventually, and I am certain to enjoy it when I do," I said. I was trying to lie, but secretly, I suspected that was the truth.

Then she looked me right in the eyes, blinking away a stray tear or two. "Twilight Sparkle, if this is really you, and you can honestly tell me you're certain this, this thing, is right... Then, I will do it. I trust you, Twilight. Even now, I trust you."

Something was... stirring within me, yet again.

I need to rest for maybe ten minutes to get myself into a psychological headspace where I can finish this entry (also, my ankle is sore from all the writing).

I'm so sorry for what comes next.

I'll split the entry into two parts at this point. (I have a feeling the second 'half' will be longer than this one, but you get the idea.)