When I last left off, Flash Sentry and I were chatting (through earplugs, on my end). This is my best reconstruction of what happened next, since the early part is a little fuzzy and I don't have the transcription spell running anymore (obviously).

I needed to rest my tired eyes, and I started losing focus. I was exhausted from the overwhelming amount of anxiety that had built up from all the sex (witnessing, not partaking—but tiring nonetheless), the high-tension social exchanges, and my persistent fears of becoming even more of a horrible pervert. At some point while Flash was talking, I impolitely nodded off.

I very dimly remember Flash Sentry pulling me into his lap and holding me gently. I knew it was happening, and I didn't fight it. I trusted him. No... I trust him, even now, even though that may be foalish. I relaxed into his embrace. Some throbbing portion of him (his cock, obviously) gently pressed against my croup, but he can't be blamed for that. I kind of liked it, actually. It felt like a compliment, and a large part of me wanted to please him—yes, even in that way. As he cuddled me gently in his lap, I was able to let go of everything. I drifted in bliss, fading in and out of consciousness, feeling as protected as a foal in her (non-vampony) father's arms.

I came to as Princess Cadance tapped me on the shoulder with a shoe.

I opened my eyes and yawned, then I stretched and looked around. I was still seated on a warm lap. Nearly all of the smell was gone, and it looked like the area across the table had been completely cleaned up. Cadance stood in front of me and smiled. She hugged us both, trapping me within two sets of legs, and it felt very nice. In my tiredness I didn't see Cadance as an enemy, but as a good friend. I'd let my guard down entirely. (I still have it down most of the way, even now. Fighting is so draining...)

My chair-on-a-chair nuzzled my cheek and whispered into my ear. "Hay there, beautiful. Rise and shine." (Apparently, at some point my earplugs had been removed.) Of course, I blushed like fire. Flash Sentry stood up from the chair and gently set me on all fours. He had to, after all. Were it up to me, I'd still be nestled within his legs as I write this.

"What... what's going on?" I asked Cadance and Flash. Moon Black stood guard at one of the doors, but Shining Armor and Shadowbane were nowhere to be seen.

"We're done," said Cadance. "Sorry about the distraction, Twily, but I hadn't let the wolf out in quite a while, and Master and I haven't had enough quality time together since our trip to Canterlot. This vampony thing has been stressful on all of us."

"It took all three of them to hold her down at the end there," said Flash, with a chuckle. "We need to bring some restraints in here. Not just for the occasional cuntfucking, but for business... you'll see soon enough." He winked at me, which was disarming enough that I forgot to ask him what he was talking about. (I'm not sure why he holds this kind of power over me. Thank goodness he seems to be on my side.)

I shook my head to wipe clean the cobwebs. "Ugh. I don't even know what time of day it is," I said. "I hope I'm going to get some answers to my questions soon."

"You were only asleep for an hour. It's early afternoon," said Cadance.

Wow. It didn't occur to me at the time, but Flash Sentry had me on his lap for an entire hour? That's... really sweet. And it shows a surprising amount of discipline, something I don't expect at all from vamponies. This is another datum supporting my theory that Flash isn't like the others.

She continued, "Rarity should be here any minute, but most of the answers you're looking for will be Luna's duty to share. Then we'll have a nice dinner together, like a family." Cadance smiled fondly at me and petted my mane. (I blushed.)

"Well, while you're waiting, maybe there's something we can answer?" volunteered Flash. He lay down on the floor and patted the spot beside him as though calling a dog to sit.

I sat down immediately. I didn't even think.

Cadance giggled and sat facing us, as Flash Sentry snuggled up against me from the side.

"I, um, heh," I stumbled, still blushing (probably much worse this time). "Right, questions. Okay. Processing mental checklist..." I paused for a few moments, staring into space.

"Twily, you are simply adorkable," Flash whispered to me. I think it was a compliment...?

I looked into Cadance's pretty eyes (she's so attractive—my brother is one lucky horse), and cleared my throat to speak.

"Okay, Sister. I know Luna will cover the history, but could you at least give me an idea of how the infection works? I mean, what in Tartarus are you, anyway?" I asked. "Please be honest with me. I know this can't be a simple infection, or even a transmissible mutation, unless it goes well beyond normal genetics." (I had already pulled over the clipboard, pen, and paper I'd brought from the room. Writing by hoof is surprisingly tiresome, but it's my fault for being out of practice.)

"It does go beyond normal genetics, but the truth is that we don't know all the details yet. I've been the principal investigator on our new biology, and Luna knew a lot about the subject already because she did research on the mutation over a thousand years ago," said Cadance. "Her research was primarily on nightborns."

"Nightborns? Oh, that's right—vampony nightwings," I said, remembering. "The distinction is moderately confusing, but I'm sure Luna can explain. Please, go on."

"What we do know is that the vampony transformation is enabled in part by a magical mutation—a form of horizontal evolution mediated by an inherently magical bacterium. Luna named the bacterium escherichia magicum tenebris, or E. Tenebris for short. It carries multiple plasmids in specialized shells similar to virii. Once introduced to a pony's cell, they are able to replicate independent of the bacterium. So the plasmids insert directly into pony DNA, and once the infection has spread widely enough the bacteria commit apoptosis and are destroyed."

To put it mildly, this blows my mind.

"You're saying the infection can completely alter a pony's genetics through lateral gene transfer?" I said, with equal parts fascination and horror. "That sounds highly engineered, and even then it should be impossible! There's no way the same set of plasmids could affect multiple species... er, like Zecora, I mean." That was a close call, I thought. I almost gave away the fact that I suspect Spike can be infected...

"There are epigenetic changes too, but those are less well-understood than the gene insertions. Oddly enough, the insertions are in different places on different species, and those zones are always precise," she said. "In equine species, for example, the gene inserts itself in the middle of chromosome 11—both copies, to be precise, and this is unavoidable. If there were only one copy, it would immediately generate a plasmid to alter its sister chromosome."

I furrowed my brow in thought. "Horses have 64 chromosomes, which is a little on the high side for mammals," I said (okay, fine—I might have been knowledge-showboating just a little). "Donkeys have 62, and mules and hinnies have 63. Zebras can have anywhere between 32 and 46, depending on subspecies, which is a little different, but the first twenty chromosomes by label are found in all equine species. So what do you mean by different species? Are crystal ponies different, or something?"

"In dragons, it appears on chromosome 173," said Cadance, and then it looked like she was holding her breath.

It took my mind a moment to process precisely what Cadance was saying. These bastards had done research on dragons, which almost certainly meant...

"Wait... Spike? Oh, oh no," I said, and my eyes quickly watered. "Cadance, Please, please tell me you haven't done this to him! He doesn't deserve—"

"Shhh, Twilight," said Flash. He hugged me from behind and gently petted my mane, but it wasn't helping.

"We haven't turned Spike yet," said Cadance. "But Rarity did use mudblood on him, since she already knew about the time he'd partially shifted in the library. We call that 'tasting the wolf'. I think I forgot to mention that when we talked about the wolf, earlier. Anyway, I asked Rarity to draw a drop of blood from him during the change, and I told her what to do to preserve it before the effect reversed itself. I analysed it two days ago, right here in Canterlot."

I closed my eyes. "He's just a kid, Sis."

Cadance smiled gently. "He's more of an adult than you give him credit for, but either way, we don't have access to his whereabouts. If we did, we'd give him his third taste of the wolf, and then he would be officially considered a vampony foal. It's essentially impossible to resist after that. Actually, it's amazing that he continues to defy the Order despite having fully tasted the wolf with Rarity."

"Are you saying that you don't turn foals?" I asked. Of course, it didn't really matter. I already knew they were fucking them, and isn't that enough of a horror?

"We don't turn foals, for two reasons. First of all, it'd be dangerous. Not only is it harder for them to control their vampony abilities, they lack the wisdom and discipline to avoid doing dangerous things while the wolf is out. Even tasting the wolf is done under very strict supervision," explained Cadance. "We don't require foals to be turned or broken until they reach a social milestone shortly prior to puberty. If they haven't reached puberty, turning them won't cause puberty, but the sexual feelings will still be there. In a form suitable for foals, I mean."

My curiosity was getting the better of me, so I ignored the last two horrid sentences that came out of my sister's stupid mouth. "You mean the cuteceñara. What about nonpony species?"

"We can use an arbitrary cutoff or something. Maybe twelve years old, or once the foal's owner feels they are ready to go full vampony. Spike's definitely mature enough that he's ready to be fully turned anyway. It's merely a formality for foals, because unlike adults, kids don't suffer from the stain—that brain abnormality I mentioned before."

"Ugh, that supposed 'abnormality' you still won't tell me about," I said, gritting my teeth. "What I've heard about the stain so far is completely inconsistent with neuroanatomy. Apple Bloom told me she ended up all screwed up in the head after only one taste! And now you do this to Spike? What am I supposed to think, Cadance?"

"She isn't screwed up in the head. She's better, Twilight. She's happy and fulfilled," countered Cadance. "Spike is happy, too. He's just hurting right now because he's so incredibly loyal to you."

"Why can't you just let them be foals?" I pleaded, grimacing.

"We do let them be foals," said Flash (softly, since his lips were right beside my ear). He put a gentle hoof around my withers. "They're just like any other kids, except they've been psychologically inoculated against mistakenly thinking they're being abused when they're actually being loved. The stain hardly develops at all because they're not abused with sexlessness. Er, is that a word?"

I sighed and nodded. "I never expected to use in a conversation, but yes, 'sexlessness' is actually a dictionary word."

"Vampony foals have plenty of sex appropriate to their age," said Cadance (revolting emphasis mine). "We hold off on turning them for their own safety, but the reason we hold off on breaking them is just for fun. The Breakstone doesn't do nearly as much to their brains, because tasting the wolf prior to puberty is enough to teach them that sex is wonderful and prevent the stain from forming in the first place. So we hold off on breaking them, and that way it gets to be part of a fun coming of age ritual when they're ready to be turned." She smiled gently. I did not reciprocate.

"Why does this bother you so much, Twily?" asked Flash. "You already know the foals in our custody are neither traumatized nor unhappy."

"It... it feels wrong," I said. "There's so much data showing foals suffering from sexual abuse. What if you're wrong?"

"That data is due to the social ramifications of abuse more than the abuse itself. The same thing is true about many forms of rape," said Cadance. "I know that seems impossible to you, but it's true. If everypony you know tells you that you're a victim to something horrible, that's precisely how you'll feel—"

"It isn't that simple," I said, interrupting her. "Sex is inherently emotional, feels very weird and awkward prior to puberty, and is much more dangerous for foals as a result. Plus, it's extremely easy to harm a foal without realizing it, because an adult is in a position of power. I'm not buying this."

"Perhaps it's an experiment, then, but all signs so far point to it being a good thing. We wouldn't be fucking them if there were any evidence to the contrary," said Cadance.

I closed my eyes tightly and leaned back into Flash Sentry's embrace. "I... I don't wanna talk about this anymore," I mumbled, trying to blank my mind.

I didn't tell them why, of course. But...

Dammit.

I keep thinking back to being with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I'm not happy to admit this, but... it's still a turn-on, Journal. Remembering those experiences makes me horny, and it's very wrong for me to have those feelings. Any 'logic' that makes something that terrible even the tiniest bit harder to resist—it just isn't something I can bear at the moment.

I can't deal with the consequences of these feelings. Do you want to know why, Journal? It's because that victimhood thing Cadance is arguing against also works in reverse! I know how everypony would view me if they knew I failed to prevent foals from pleasuring me. I know I'm a monster for being unable to counteract these fantasies now. Tartarus, most of the ponies in Ponyville would want my head on a pike even for merely feeling the things I do. And they'd be right to. That's what should happen to me, right? I shouldn't be alive. I no longer deserve to be.

But then I think about anypony else in my situation, and... well, if it's anypony else, I can't blame them for succumbing to this nightmare. It's only myself I'm holding to this standard, so maybe it's unrealistic to beat myself up over this. But it's a low standard to meet, and even if I wouldn't lop off other ponies' heads for their fantasies, I'd expect them to do it to me.

And I'd almost do it to me, to be honest. I'm losing the will to survive. I'm not about to hurt or kill myself, but I'm barely able to function right now. They're winning, Journal.

Despite my silence, I'm sure they knew what my problem was. Of course Flash and Cadance knew what I was feeling. I'll bet my conflicted emotions and inescapable perversion don't even require vampony senses to pick up on.

"Okay," said Cadance. "We can just rest quietly for a while." I couldn't see her with my eyes shut tight, but she sounded contrite. I guess she realized she'd gone too far. (Good.)

I didn't respond, but Flash hugged me warmly, and the wetness in the corners of my eyes dried. A few minutes later, I felt almost back to normal. That's when the knock on the door came.

Moon Black opened the door, and in pranced Rarity. She was wearing a golden collar, earrings, saddle, and legcuffs with rings on them. She didn't have her fake horn on, or a horncap. Her stubby little horn was completely exposed. It looked like it was growing back well, but by my calculations it should take at least ten weeks before it will be possible to use as a proper echo chamber for mana fluctuations.

Flash helped me to stand up, and I tried to compose myself.

"Twilight Sparkle!" Rarity said energetically as she clopped her forehooves together, making the rings on her front legcuffs jangle. "I'm so happy to see you again, darling! I'm almost ready to show you my delicious line of toys, including a custom order for Princess Luna. It's simply exquisite." She ran up to me and hugged me tightly, without asking first. It felt nice, and that made me feel guilty.

Of course I hugged her back, but I wasn't happy about it. After she landed on four legs, I frowned.

"Please stay away from Spike," I said. (I'm not sure why I included the 'please'.) I tried to sound firm, but I think it came off more like I was begging. Cadance facehoofed, and Flash looked nervously away from the conversation.

"Spike's precise whereabouts are unknown at this time, so you don't need to worry," said Rarity. "Of course, it isn't hard to guess where he's headed, but for the time being he lies out of our grasp. However, he does have an adorable marble collar and tailcuff locked on," she added with a wink.

I squinted and gnashed my teeth. "Dammit, Rarity! Don't get him mixed up in this!"

"He already was fixed-up," said Rarity. "And let's put our cards on the table, shall we? You and Pinkie had your way with his body already. Why shouldn't I be able to join in the fun?"

I gasped and felt a sinking pang in my belly. Flash and Cadance suddenly looked right at my face, and although their eyes were gentle and faces sad, I felt their stares boring straight into my soul.

"I... that was a... mistake. I would take it back if I could, in a heartbeat. Pinkie is the one responsible for most of what happened to him," I said. "I would never have done anything without her constant pressuring..."

Flash Sentry lifted my chin with a hoof and stared into my eyes. "You're a very silly pony, Twily," he declared, wearing a wry smile. Cadance and Rarity giggled. (I blushed, yet I still felt terrible.)

Rarity shrugged. "Well, what's done is done. Would you like to see—"

"And what in blazes is a tailcuff?" I interjected, angrily. "Another bondage sex thing like those cuffs around your ankles, probably."

"It's not just for fun, Twilight. A tailcuff is an experimental bauble for blocking the wolf in a horagon," she explained. "That's what we're calling dragon vamponies, but I presume Cadance told you all this."

In the corner of my eye, I could see Princess Cadance rapidly shaking her head and making the 'neck cut' sign with one hoof.

Rarity rolled her eyes dramatically. "Oh, all this drama! Relax, Twilight. Nopony is harming Spike, I Pinkie Swear," she promised while making the motions. "Unfortunately, not all the baubles have arrived yet, and I'd rather show them all to you at once for full effect. The last shipment is coming in tomorrow, so I suppose we have a day in the interim to help you realize how much we love and care about you. I don't want these silly little maudlin emotions to get in the way of something gorgeous I have to show you."

I sighed. "Okay. Whatever." I felt numb, but that helped me let go a little of my worries.

I hadn't any tears left to cry. Maybe I was wrong about everything all this time? I'm still thinking that. I simply don't know. I don't have the necessary data to support one opinion versus another, but I suspect the vamponies have very little data themselves. They're probably still using dick-based heuristics. Even in the best-case scenario—meaning they're actually right about everything—they're moving much too fast with these plans.

I have no process I can trust to filter the information they're giving me, so everything I believe now comes through gut instinct. Unfortunately, at the moment I hate my guts (in more way than one).

Rarity and I spent the next hour getting me up to speed on the meanings behind all the materials. She was surprisingly forthcoming. (Initially she wanted to wait for the baubles for illustration's sake, but I am not currently a fan of waiting for things to happen.) All of this is in the glossary, as previously mentioned.

Not long after we finished, I noticed a small, cyan crystal stallion had entered the room, carrying a large crate on his back. He wore a marble collar, earrings, and saddle, and he immediately blushed as soon as we made eye contact.

"Isn't my little cunt over there adorable? His name is Crystal Hoof," said Rarity, with a wistful smile. Crystal Hoof set the crate on the table, smiled nervously, and waved at us.

Princess Cadance squinted and sniffed the air, and then her eyes widened. "Rarity, we need to talk—"

Rarity stuffed her hoof into Cadance's mouth, leaned in to all three of us, and whispered. "Yes, I know he's a changeling," she revealed. "But he's adorable and he isn't like the others. The poor thing is petrified to be discovered, but eventually we'll need to let him know that we know, because we really don't know what will happen when he tastes the wolf."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Cadance. I had a sense that her gentle tone belied a darker emotion simmering beneath the surface.

"He's just as good at giving love as he is at draining it. He gives back much more than he takes in, and he doesn't seem to be hungry at all," said Rarity, wearing a happy grin.

"Wow. That's... that's just amazing," said Flash Sentry.

I nodded in agreement. "If changelings can be reformed, this is incredible news! Except for the fact you think it's a good idea to turn him into an even worse monster," I whispered back.

Rarity rolled her eyes again and pulled back from the huddle. "We'll save that until things are less crazy around here, and we'll go very slowly when we do. Hopefully you'll be able to assist us in the endeavor, Twilight."

I was thinking up a snarky response when Princess Luna entered the room. She was beautiful, as always (seems kinda weird to say that about her, though). She had on the white gold collar, wing braces, shoes, and ounckse with a white gold ring in it (I described these previously). She also wore her usual breast-collar, the black ceremonial piece with her lune in the front in white.

"Lady Luna!" called Rarity. She galloped over and gave the princess a hug. They performed a mock fashion kiss together. And then, um...

Then they performed a real kiss. Dear Celestia, the sounds made by those impossibly long tongues! I could see the outlines writhing within their throats, and I had to look away. Fortunately, it was over in a matter of seconds.

After they 'disengaged', Rarity smiled brightly at Luna. "My goodness, darling! You have an impressive grasp of your tongue for somepony turned mere hours ago."

I reflexively winced. Okay, Luna's definitely with them. But that means two nights ago she was being dominated, even though she hadn't been turned yet! Maybe they broke her first? I'll have to ask her once I'm done writing this entry.

Luna blushed (still not sure how the red shines through the navy blue, but it does even in the waking world). "Thank you, Lady Rarity," she said, and smiled a gentle fangy grin before turning in my direction. "Greetings, Princess Twilight Sparkle. It is my steadfast hope that you are making progress at battling your inner demons."

I shrugged. I just didn't know what to say.

"Your new baubles are in, as well," said Rarity, clopping her hooves excitedly against the floor. "They'll arrive tomorrow. These should suit you for a long time."

"I cannot imagine how you are able to turn out amazing new material at such a rapid rate. I had just grown used to the white gold," said Luna, with a frown. "It feels like a sorry waste to remove it from my person."

"It's fine, darling. We can recast it, though it would be best for you to hold onto it for the time being. Most of the baubles are recyclable..." said Rarity.

"Not these new ones, of course," said Luna.

"True. But even then, larger stone can be crafted into smaller trinkets. It's never a complete waste. Either way, it doesn't matter: you're worth it, dear Lady. Once the rest of the set comes in, we'll do a fitting. They're going to blow. Your. Mind!" said Rarity, followed by excited giggles.

For a small moment, I couldn't help but feel good for both of them.

"Twilight," said Luna. "Are you prepared for our discussion on the history of the Order?"

"Can you give me a few hours to write all this out?" I asked.

"Certainly. Please, come with me to my chambers," replied Luna.

"I'll get your book and ink, and you already have your notes with you," said Flash Sentry. "Just... try to relax a little, okay?"

I blushed, and I obeyed. I'm trying to relax even now, Journal, I really am. If only it were possible.

Writing this has been something of an ordeal. I have to use my hooves, and place the gem right next to the Journal so I can actually see the writing. I'm getting better at it, though.

Now I've finished up completely and the Journal is finally current, but something happened while Luna waited for me as I worked on writing everything out from her pet bed (I know what you're thinking, Journal, but it's comfortable). Luna hasn't said word one since I started writing, but less than a half-hour ago Shining peeked in and let us both know that the pony he told me about had arrived. I don't want to keep them waiting, whoever it is, so I'll have to return to Luna's chambers after the meeting.