Okay, look. This entry has a lot of sex in it. No, I'm not trying to become a porn star, Journal; I just need to put this stuff down for completeness. But seriously, if I'm reviewing this entry later, I'll probably want to skip to the next entry.

Then again, for all I know this trend will continue. Maybe my life is just porn from here on out? (Dear Celestia, I hope not...)

So there I was, leaning toward the end of my bathtub, face down low with my chin in the water and my front knees bent, rump tilted high and tail lifted (yikes, now that's a frightening mental image). Pinkie Pie was scrubbing my, well, "private parts". My rear legs were trembling, even though they were locked at the knees, and I felt pretty strange.

Pinkie put down the sponge and tugged slightly at my... my anus. Ugh. That sounds way too clinical. Butthole? That sounds like something a foal Spike's age would say. "Asshole" is a bit too crude. I think I'll go with "ponut", which is about as silly as butthole, but for some reason doesn't make me feel juvenile. If you haven't heard the slang, it's a portmanteau of "pony" and "donut", because it looks a bit like a donut (well, more like a bagel, but whatever).

Anyway, Pinkie tugged my... no, I can't write the word ponut with a straight face either. I'm going with anus, but maybe I'll mix it up here and there. (Wow. This is one of the strangest things I've ever written. Again.)

Okay, right. So Pinkie tugged at my anus with two hooves, spreading it a little, which felt very strange. I yelped and tensed, trying to shut it.

"Twi, I need you to relax," said Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie, what are you doing with that?" I complained.

"This is a part of your body you need to be comfy with. I'm going to try not to do anything you might find super-weird, but you need to stop fighting. If you fight, it might hurt," she explained.

"Wait. You're telling me that if I tense up because I'm afraid of getting hurt or something, that will make it hurt?!" I whined. "That's totally counterintuitive."

Pinkie shrugged. "That's just how sex is sometimes! If you relax and accept it, it won't hurt," she insisted.

I'm starting to suspect Pinkie was using this as part of a broader analogy. Is she really that clever?

"I'll try," I sighed, and after tensing a bit more, finally relaxed.

It's weird feeling a close friend spread your ponut, Journal. It's icky, and creepy, and hurts a little if you don't go along with it, and it's really, really embarrassing. My body was positioned kind of like a party cannon with the "business-end" aimed right at Pinkie's face. (Mental note: don't do this if you are suffering from incontinence. Oh bleah that is so gross! Ewwww...)

Anyway, she was able to tug it open a little, and she rubbed at the inside with the tip of her hoof. I don't know if it was the novelty, or what, but it actually started to feel, well... nice. Just, like, restful and such. But then it made me get a little tingly back there, too, and that was worrisome.

"Pinkie, it shouldn't take that long to clean my... my anus," I said, blushing.

Pinkie giggled. "I'm not cleaning your ponut, silly! I'm massaging it. You're already clean."

"Oh, well... is this supposed to turn me on?" I asked.

"Is it?" she responded. I couldn't see her face, but I imagined her grinning.

"I... Okay, maybe just a little—eep!" I said, recoiling as something smooth and warm pushed against the area.

"Don't tighten up, Twilight. Don't you remember?" Pinkie reminded me.

"I, I'm trying," I gasped, and did my best to relax the area. It took an incredible amount of effort, though. She was pushing something very smooth against my pucker.

"There we go! We just need to stretch you a teensy-tiny bit, even though this is a really small plug," said Pinkie.

I gulped. "Pinkie Pie, what on Equestria are you doing back there?" I asked.

"I'm stretching your tight little ponut, no thanks to you," she chastised me. "It's like you've never played with this thing at all..."

"That's disgusting, Pinkie," I said. "I mean, maybe it feels kind of nice, but that area is not for recreation."

"Whaaaaaa?" said Pinkie. "You're crazy! Everything is for fun!"

Let me make this abundantly clear: this was weird. At this point I was going along with it only because I was in an awkward position and couldn't fight back. Even if it did feel pleasant, that is the last part of my body I want to get friendly with.

"Wait—is that Rarity's device?" I finally realized, panicking a little. "Pinkie?"

"Ssh," she said, and removed whatever she was rubbing me with.

And then Pinkie Pie did something I really don't want to mention, but I guess I will anyway. She tugged my tail sharply upward from the dock, leaned in, and gave me a warm, um... kiss. Like, right on the ponut.

"Yipe! No, no, stop, this is really gross," I said, and I felt a WHAP against my rump as she slapped me with a hoof!

"Twilight! Calm down," Pinkie said, rather firmly, and for a brief moment I felt very afraid. "It was just a little kiss, and you're perfectly clean. I'd love to go a lot further than a kiss, but I'm trying not to weird you out."

I was scared, but a little wet, too. I whimpered. "Please j-just be gentle," I begged.

"Of course! Now one last thing and I'll leave your silly ponut alone," she promised. "I want you to squeeze down nice and firm like you're dropping some apples, okay? You only need to do it for a few seconds."

"If this is the last thing," I mumbled, and I felt the metal pressing there again. I closed my eyes tightly, bore down, and tried to relax...

There was a brief moment of pain, then it subsided, but something warm and heavy was... inside me.

"W-what did you do," I gasped.

"C'mere you wiggler," said Pinkie, and she flipped me over so I was facing up.

I reached down underneath my rump and felt it there: the smooth metal base with Rarity's cutie mark embedded in its surface.

"This, this is what it's for? Seriously?"

"Yep! Isn't it nice? It's warm and tight and heavy, and you can feel it hanging there inside you as you walk around..."

"Walk around? With this thing in me!?"

"Well, yeah! With your tail lifted even, if you like, wanna show everypony who owns you. I mean, if you're wearing the plug because you're Rarity's pet or whatever," said Pinkie like it was no big thing. "I don't think it's supposed to be for you, but it was here and convenient, and who knows? Maybe you'd even like being Rarity's."

I felt my loins throb with pleasure, and the plug tensed with every motion. It was tightening my vaginal cavity, even though I've never had anything in my vagina, since my hymen, er, "cherry" is still intact. (I mean, it was tightening it just by pressing against it, from the inside.)

"Oh wow Pinkie, I really think we should get this out of me," I said, tugging unsuccessfully on it with a hoof. I wasn't thinking clearly enough to grab at it with magic, but Pinkie pulled my hooves up and held them before I could think straight. She leaned over on top of me, muzzle to muzzle, most of my body submerged in the water.

"Just leave it in for a little bit, okay? We can take it out before we leave the bath," she insisted. "You need to be more open to new experiences, Twilight. It's for the greater good."

"I don't see how this..." I said, but my voice trailed off as she gently twisted the device in me, and I felt myself throbbing again. "O-okay, fine, I can see the appeal. My Stars, where did Spike even get this thing? I hope he didn't steal it from her... I'm sure he has no idea what this is."

"If you say so," sang Pinkie.

Then, the obvious thing occurred to me.

"Oh, eww! It's bad enough Spike was holding this thing in the first place, thinking it was some kind of toy! But now that it's been in my you-know-where he is definitely not touching it," I said, and shuddered. "We need to burn it. No, that's stupid, it's metal. Maybe I can whip up a bath of low-pH sulphuric acid..."

"Holy Pony Pokey, Twilight! You're babbling even worse than me, and that's a lot," Pinkie pointed out. "It's very easy to clean and it isn't going to hurt anypony."

"Fine, if you want to keep it, be my guest," I grumbled. "Just don't let Spike touch it."

"You are such a worrywart," she said, then kissed me on the lips.

At the time I didn't remember she'd just kissed me on the "other" spot, or I would have really freaked out. I'm trying not to think about it. What has my life become?

Then Pinkie started reaching down and rubbing my mons, and I finally gave in. The thing in my butt was pretty bucking weird, but the attention was nice, and she likes to look in my eyes when she's touching me because she wants to see how happy it makes me, I think. All the creepiness just kind of faded away in a heartbeat, and it surprised me how quickly my mood turned. I guess sex can do that? Huh.

But once again, things took a turn towards Weirdsville almost immediately. She lifted my rump and rear legs so I had to hold the back of the tub awkwardly with my front legs to keep my muzzle above the water. I was tilted backwards, basically, as she held my crotch up high and dry and smiled down on me. Then she did something that really scares me, because before this happened I would have thought it was the most disgusting thing in the world, but the bath was nice and clean, and she looked so happy, and the thing inside me...

Basically, Pinkie leaned down and kissed my vulva. Very tenderly, but not just once: she did it again and again and again, and then she started licking along the slit. I wanted to tell her to stop, but it felt amazing, so I just held on for dear life as my hips started shaking. Her kisses grew more insistent, pushing more firmly, and her tongue started dipping into the rim of my vulva.

(I'm aware now that this is what she meant earlier by "oral sex", by the way.)

I couldn't really talk or do anything other than shiver, but I started moaning. Like, not in pain, though. It was... a different kind of moaning, if that makes sense. I hope Spike didn't think I was being hurt or anything.

Pinkie wouldn't let up, and soon she was licking deep into the cleft, teasing against my hymen. I snapped back to reality when she smiled sweetly at me before saying, "Boop!" as she bumped her nose against my clitoral hood. I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

Then her tongue rubbed against it, and her lips met it and she suckled ever-so-gently and everything in my body simply exploded. Figuratively, of course. But it felt literal, and I don't really have an appropriate literal language to describe it so I have to go with poetic comparisons. My hips bucked into her face, and I felt something shoot out of my urethra as a cacophony of feelings writhed through my flesh.

"Oh! Oh! Oh shit, I, Pinkie, I think I peed..." I gasped. Her face was wet, and I was certain I'd just, well, pissed all over her muzzle. I'd have been mortified if I weren't reeling with pleasure. Pinkie was smiling, though, and didn't seem to mind.

"It's not pee, Twilight. You came! I'm so proud of you," she smiled, licking at her lips—which was pretty disgusting considering that came out of my body, but at the time my mind wasn't capable of processing "disgusting" anymore. All I remember feeling besides the euphoria was an intense personal fulfillment of being told my friend Pinkie was proud of me. I made her proud, and it felt so good. There really is something to this "sex" thing, it's just devilishly hard to quantify it.

But as I held myself up from the water with my hooves and gasped for breath, I didn't need quantification. At that moment I wanted to give Pinkie Pie my soul and everything else along with it.

"Heavenly Celestia, you're so pretty like this, Twilight," she cooed, lapping gently against my vulva. "You have no idea how much I want to sink my fangs into this pretty little cherry and pop you wide open for all the boys to fuck. And drink your tasty blood, and infect you with so much saliva in the process you'd be a vampony before you even had a chance to cast your silly little spell." And she winked at me.

That's when I said something so bizarre, I felt like an observer, watching myself say it instead of being the pony who did the saying. I didn't have control over my mouth. (I wonder if this is what it's like to be Pinkie...)

"O-okay," I said, blushing and tilting my pelvis upwards.

And you know what? I meant it.

Pinkie Pie bit at her lower lip with a fang, drawing her own blood, and sucked at it. "Twi, I really want to take advantage of your right now," she whimpered, kissing at my folds as she pulled them apart with her hooves. Her nostrils flared.

"Do it, it's okay," I whispered, wincing. "I... I love you."

Pinkie's eyes glowed red. "You're one-hundred percent sure you're ready to be one of us for good, Twilight? It's not just the orgasm talking, is it?" she said, panting with that impossibly-long tongue lolling out one side of her muzzle. "You're really ready for your brother to fuck you silly?"

I grimaced. "I... I don't know..." I whispered.

Pinkie sighed, and retracted her tongue and fangs as she set my pelvis back into the water. "Dammit," she said, and cuddled up to me face to face in the water.

"I'm so confused," I whimpered. "Don't you want me?"

Pinkie smiled broadly. "Of course I do! Oh, Twilight, I'd be so, so, SO happy if you came to your senses and decided to become a vampony with us! But right now you're just overwhelmed. You'd feel really guilty inside afterwards, and Rarity thinks you'd get over it right away, but it still doesn't feel right to me."

"I'm sorry," I said, hugging her tightly. "You're right... this fight, Celestia, Spike, my parents... I don't know what came over me..." The guilt was hitting me pretty hard, just as she'd predicted.

"It's not your fault, silly goose," said Pinkie. "It's mine. I've been so busy trying to prepare you for sex I didn't realize how fast we were going... This is too much for you right now. Although, if Rarity ever finds out you asked me to pop your cherry and make you into a vampony and I actually refused, she'll probably punch me right in the cake-hole."

Maybe she will, I thought. And maybe Pinkie deserves it, even? I don't know that I deserved that kind of mercy. Maybe Rarity is right and becoming a vampony would fix everything, simple as that.

All I know for certain is that Pinkie Pie is still a good friend. Although, what happened with Thunderlane might detract from that theory just a little.

Before the bath was out, I made Pinkie remove the plug and clean it. It felt much better coming out than it did going in, but maybe it's just because I was used to it. I don't want to think about it. She left it in the bathroom where I'd found it in the sink, and I'd rather not touch it so I'll just leave it there. I need to talk to Spike about it soon, though, because even though Pinkie swears it's completely clean, I have visions of him playing with it like some kind of an action figure and I don't like the idea of anything that's been inside my body being in his little claws.

Oh, crap. I just realized: what if Rarity had used that toy before? She probably has! I've had something inside my body that was inside Rarity?! Dear Luna, save me from this nightmare.

Sorry, back on track. Thunderlane arrived with Pinkie in the afternoon.

"Psst! We're heeeeeeeeere!" said Pinkie as she slipped in the door with Thunderlane in tow.

Thunderlane is a mid-size stallion, which makes him large for a pegasus. He's a little younger than I am, younger than Pinkie even. Next to Rainbow Dash he's perhaps the second strongest flyer in Ponyville. I've always thought that he'd be perfect for Dash but she's never shown any interest in him. She'd rather hang out with Applejack or Fluttershy, so I guess maybe she just isn't interested finding a special somepony right now. That would stand to reason: Rainbow is a pretty independent mare. Then again, Rarity's more of an independent, self-made mare than anypony I know, and she's always talking about getting a stallion. Although nowadays that talk is extra-creepy.

"Ohmygosh, P-Princess?!" said Thunderlane. His wings were spread wide and his cheeks fully flushed.

"Ssh," ordered Pinkie as she closed the door behind them both.

"Hi Thunderlane," I said, with a wan smile.

Pinkie hugged Thunderlane tight. "Don't worry! Twilight's not crazy like Rarity says," she said.

"Oh, I didn't think she was. Er, I mean, I didn't think you were, Princess, ma'am," said Thunderlane. "Rarity's still acting weird, so most ponies in town aren't sure what to think. But you're both wearing the same kind of strange collar she is? Is that fashion before feuding?" he chuckled.

I shook my head. "Not at all. I'm wearing this in the hopes I might be able to blend in with... well, Rarity's cult, when I return to Canterlot," I explained.

"Oh! And I'm a part of Rarity's cult!" said Pinkie, with a bright smile.

"Not helping, Pinkie," I grumbled.

Thunderlane looked very nervous. "Well, um, Pinkie said I could help you out somehow. Like I said, I'm concerned about Rarity, and 'cult' doesn't sound very good..."

"It's not really a cult," Pinkie offered. "We're just vamponies who infect you by biting and then we have a lot of promiscuous sex!"

Pinkie, please shut up. (I didn't say it, but I thought it as hard as possible.)

"Rrrrright," said Thunderlane, looking less nervous than skeptical.

"I'm afraid it's true, Thunderlane. I'm not a vampony, though, and I'm working on a cure. You should be safe as long as you don't agree to go to any after-hours parties or sleepovers," I lied.

"This is kind of crazy," he chuckled. "You're not serious?"

Pinkie Pie grinned and extended her fangs, and Thunderlane turned and ran for the door. I was able to stop him with telekinesis, and I turned him around.

"It's okay, Thunderlane. Pinkie's more on our side than Rarity's. She isn't going to bite you," I said.

"Unless you want me too..." Pinkie teased, with a wink.

"OhdearCelestianothankyouverymuch," said Thunderlane, his legs shaking. I flashed a mean look at Pinkie Pie, and she pouted and retracted her fangs.

Right about then, Spike wandered into the main library. "Hay Thunderlane," he said.

"Anyway," Pinkie added, "I brought you because we don't have a lot of ponies on Twilight's side yet, and that's totally not fair. Also, the Order uses sex a lot, so Twilight needs to learn more about sex to stand a fighting chance, and I'm like, hay! I know somepony with a penis who would be perfect..."

Thunderlane's jaw dropped and his cheeks turned pink.

"Aaaaand I'm out," said Spike, who turned and walked back into the kitchen.

"Pinkie Pie! We did not invite Thunderlane over to molest him," I said, in a voice that sounded just a bit too matter-of-fact, in retrospect.

"Aww! But Twilight, that's at least part of the reason! At least you can take a look at it," she said.

"Thunderlane, I'm so sorry," I said. But then I noticed his sheath was quivering. The poor colt's eyes were shut tighter than my collar.

"It's okay, P-princess. I will serve Equestria, and my Princess, as I am ordered to do," he said softly, but continued to keep his eyes shut.

I didn't like this. It seemed clear that a part of Thunderlane was, well, 'enjoying' the attention. But he was also very frightened. I wasn't sure what to do, and I'm not sure now why I went along with it. Something was stirring within me, too, I guess. Should I feel bad about this? It's my job as a Princess to do this sort of thing, sometimes.

"Alright, Pinkie. Just a quick look, though. I don't want Thunderlane to suffer and he looks like he isn't enjoying this," I said.

"I live to serve, Princess," he whispered, and his legs stiffened and stopped shaking.

"See Twilie? He loves it!" said Pinkie Pie, who then grabbed me and shoved me down to the floor between Thunderlane's legs.

"Pinkie, don't call me that," I said in my best irritated-voice. "I don't like being reminded of my brother while he's working for the enemy." I was probably giving away too much intel, but I didn't care. I wanted to stop Pinkie, because I was starting to think about my brother, and (ugh) it was starting to turn me on.

Pinkie squeaked. "Oh I'm sorry Twilie—I mean, Twilight!" she said, missing the point entirely. Was she doing it on purpose? I doubted it, but surely she could smell my arousal every time she said that word.

I lay out and looked up at Thunderlane's sheath. It was kind of pretty, to be honest. I'd never taken a close look at one before, but it was thick and I could see it pulse in rhythm with his heartbeat. His scrotum hung down low, nice and smooth with large, firm testicles beneath the leather. I saw them tense up and lift a little, then drop back down. They seemed to be twisting a little on the inside. It was bizarre. It really looked like some chthonic, alien abomination acting under its own accord. Maybe the whole "stallions think with their junk" thing is actually based in truth? I don't know.

"Oh, Twilight he smells SO GOOOOOD," said Pinkie, drooling out of one side of her muzzle as she sniffed at his sheath. "I know you're not infected, but take a whiffer-niffer anyway! You'll lliiiiiiike iiiiittt," she teased.

"Ugh, Pinkie Pie, that scent is mostly bacterial excreta," I noted. "Different body oils attract different bacteria in different proportions, and this results in a distinct scent for each pony. Most of what you're smelling isn't Thunderlane at all, but the chemical byproducts of his outer biome."

"Blah blah blah," Pinkie said, rolling her eyes and making a flexible mouth-like movement with one hoof. "Who cares what makes it smell so wonderful when it smells this wonderful?" Then she grabbed me by the back of my mane and pulled me in.

Against my better judgment, I let Pinkie guide me in, and I accidentally bumped my muzzle against Thunderlane's sheath. But then, Pinkie yanked my head inward, planting my muzzle deep into the cleft of his scrotum, and I inhaled deeply on accident. I pulled back away from her hoof and coughed, shivering from all the raw input.

This experience... it's impossible to describe. Olfaction is a very strange sense, journal. It's actually the most detailed sense in the pony body, and the one least understood. It's intimately tied to memory, it's incredibly detailed, it's connected to our midbrains in a primal way, and it definitely has a lot to do with sex. I can't describe the smell very well, other than to say it was strong, powerful, sweaty, leathery, a little cheesy perhaps (eww) but I guess 'musky' might be better, and it flipped a switch between my legs that immediately made me drip (again, eww). I felt immediately disgusted, aroused, intimate, and ashamed.

In other words, I was totally confused and nearly revolted, and it was still somehow pleasant.

"I, I might b-be a little sweaty," Thunderlane stammered.

"It's okay, Thundie! You smell amazing," Pinkie drawled. "And as a vampony I can smell it a hundred times better than Twilight."

I gasped for air. "I can't imagine, I'm already overpowered—no offense, Thunderlane, I'm just not used to this," I said, and panted. My breath tickled the tiny pelt-fuzz along the edge of his sheath, and something flat peeked just barely into the open.

"I'm sorry," Thunderlane gasped, wincing tightly. His legs began to quiver again.

Pinkie Pie leaned in and kissed the emerging flat ridge of Thunderlane's penis—or maybe I should say cock?—the head of his cock. I scooted back away from the display. I'd already had enough.

"Okay, that's enough for now," I panted, still smelling the heady scent on my muzzle where I'd made contact. It was driving me wild, and again I started to wonder if maybe I'd been infected without realizing it. My innocence is in tatters, I already know it. There's just no going back.

"Mmm, but Twilight, you haven't even started!" Pinkie said, and licked along the tip of Thunderlane's cock. The entire member dropped out, and I grabbed Pinkie and pulled her away.

"I said, that's enough," I growled. Pinkie pouted.

Thunderlane opened his eyes. He blushed and lay down on the floor to 'hide' himself.

"Aww. Okay, Twi. Aren't you going to thank him, though?" said Pinkie. It did feel rude of me...

I walked forward and grasped Thunderlane in a hug. Then I did something super creepy and I still don't know why. "Thank you for your service," I whispered in his ear, and he shuddered in my arms.

"Yes, Your Majesty," he whispered back, and bowed his head. Pinkie Pie giggled, and I blushed profusely. I turned around to look at her, and that's when I saw that Spike had returned. Spike's eyes were open wide, his nasal slits flared, and his twin penis erect and pulsing. He was trying to hide it with his claws.

"I'm not gay!" he immediately shouted, blushing. "I think. I mean I'm not. Right? P-Pinkie?"

Pinkie walked up to Spike and whispered something into his ear. She had the evillest look on her face as she did. He blushed even harder, then immediately ran upstairs and into the master bathroom, making a soft whining sound the whole way there.

"Dammit Pinkie! Stop doing stuff like that!" I said angrily.

I'm still not sure what to do about Spike. He's clearly a sexual being, but he's immature, and far under the age of consent. What does it mean? I used to think you weren't supposed to start feeling sexual until you were eighteen, like it happened by magic or something. In retrospect, that was unbelievably naive. The age-and-timing thing is a mess. I don't know how to help him.

"Yeah, Pinkie... I mean, he's just a kid," said Thunderlane. He stood up and mostly retreated into his sheath. He looked a little weirded out.

"The vamponies aren't going to be dissuaded by age," I warned him.

"What? They wouldn't... go after Rumble, would they? They wouldn't," he said, suddenly concerned.

I looked back at Pinkie, and she grimaced, then nodded.

"There's your answer," I said. I felt sick, deep in the pit of my stomach, and most of the arousal left me.

"Ah geez, I need to get him safe," said Thunderlane. "Where is safe? Cloudsdale? Can you help us?"

"Helping you is the idea behind this meeting," I said. "I think the best thing you can do for now is to keep your eyes peeled, and warn Rumble to be careful in case Cheerilee starts acting weird. If you can act as eyes and ears, we can start to develop a network of responsible ponies who haven't been compromised and keep tabs on the Order's activity."

Thunderlane started trotting in place. "Alright. I need to check on Rumble and my parents right away," he said. "But I need to know more, too. Can we meet later tonight?"

"I can come by your place tomorrow midday," Pinkie said.

Thunderlane looked directly at me, and I nodded. "You can trust Pinkie," I said. "I know it's weird, but she's playing both sides, and she's been loyal to me without question so far."

"Yes Princess," said Thunderlane.

"And it's just Twilight, for pony's sake," I said, rolling my eyes.

Thunderlane grinned shyly. "Okay Twilight. I'll see you later, Pinkie." He exited the library and shut the door after him.

"Pinkie! What in Equestria were you thinking?!" I chastised, as soon as the door had shut.

"Whaddaya mean?" said Pinkie, cocking her head cutely to one side (yes, it was cute; I think I can say that without becoming a lesbian).

"I did not to invite Thunderlane here to have sex with him! That was not the plan," I pointed out.

"Ohhhhhhh. Oops?" she said, and shrugged.

"Ugh. Alright, let's move on..." I said. "Go get Zecora. I'll grab Spike. We need to eat, and we can cover our plan for your infiltration over dinner."

Everypony is resting after dinner, and I've finished up here. It's almost dark now, and time for Operation Pink Slip (that was Spike's idea, but I rather like it). Pinkie Pie is going to go sneak into the Crystal Boutique, unless Rarity is there in which case she'll talk to her as she pokes around. Then she'll try to meet up with Big Macintosh. All the while, she'll be holding the television crystal which will transmit everything here where the rest of us can view it. For some reason, Zecora was concerned about whether I wanted to put Pinkie in that kind of situation, but it's not a huge risk, is it? Pinkie is on speaking terms with those who follow the Order, so this should be cut and dried.

I'm not leaving any space after this entry because it's already time to start the next one. I'll be writing as I watch what happens. If things get too hairy I'll banish Spike to the bathroom or something, but I doubt it will come to that. I mean, the vamponies can't be having sex all the time, can they?

Don't answer that, brain.