Close Call! I awoke with a start. My helmet was gone. Shields looked steady, but I couldn't tell. Weapons... gone. Ammo, same. Thruster Pack, A-OK, for some reason. I looked around.

The room I was in had white marble floors, with empty walls. Even the ceiling was blank. Is this a clean room? “Hello?” I called out... Nothing. I was by my lonesome in this too-tiny room. My head almost scraped the ceiling when I stood upright. Hold it... low ceiling, coming out of unconsciousness, strange new world... Dammit, now I was their prisoner. At least I managed to piece this together quickly.

Wait... what about that ballista? It should've left a nasty mark. I checked, but it looked like my armor had resealed over the wound. I pushed around the area. No pain, not even scar tissue. But I had taken a ballista through the gut, right? The Close Call proves it. So... apparently I hadn't pieced it together as fast as I hoped.

There was a door to my right, and windows to my front. I woke up in a bed, standard medical, but without any bed sheets. I could either wait for what may very well be my eventual execution, or I could make a run for it. Mjolnir Gen2 had neural interfaces placed all throughout the armor, I could still use some basic systems... like reentry thrusters to soften my fall.

I started stretching, getting ready for the impending chase, then the door started opening. Run fast, run now! I jumped through the window, the glass shattering under the sheer force of a half-ton weight being thrown at it. It was about a thirty story drop.

Towards the end of the jump I went from spread eagle to feet first, activating my reentry thrusters. I just need to make it back to Pizza, then get off-world. Maybe the local moon? We could continue our mission while avoiding contact...

Where was I? This was a sprawling city with elegant housing. It just didn't seem like I was near the forest at all. In fact, there was a cliff face just over there! Okay, I was not where I once was... New objective: get a map!

“Hey, stop right there!” More goldies, better run. Was that a horn on one of them? Probably just my eyes tricking me, I did just take a ballista through the gut.

I ran down the road, then turned left. I had no idea where I was! Maybe I could take it into the vertical? I went left down the nearest alleyway. I jumped right, then pushed off to the left side. Thruster Pack to the right, then back left on to roof of a very low building (compared to the others in this city).

“There he is, get him!”

Shit, another guard? They were everywhere! I doubled back along my original trail via the rooftops. Then there was a bright, golden flash and everything went black.

I awoke in what seemed to be a medieval dungeon, just this time I was bound by several ropes. I could hardly move. Maybe I could burn through them? A burst from my Thruster Pack and a few ropes were severed, but not enough. Still couldn't move.

“Quite the tenacious one aren't you?” A regal-sounding, feminine voice came from behind me. I rolled over.

Oh, there are the iron bars! I thought I had just the wall. Beyond the bars, though was a very tall, white horse. This one had the wings of an eagle and the horn of a narwhal. She was also clad in gold regalia, complete with tiara. It also looked like she had a sun tattooed on her butt. Heh, ass-tat.

I decided to respond to her previous quip, “Well, when you’re running for your life, it's awfully easy to be convinced to do things. So, let's jump to the chase, when are you executing me? Because my schedule is packed. How does Friday at 2100 sound?”

She looked taken aback, “We would never execute a prisoner! What made you think so?”

“Well, Captain Cupcake had already ordered a Corporal to hunt me down. Frankly, I don't blame him. I would've done the same. So, if you’re not going to kill me, then what do you want me to tell you?”

“This isn't an interrogation...”

“Joe. I am Lieutenant Joe of the UNSC”

“...Joe, I'm just making sure you're alright. My sister will be here shortly, and then we can start waxing political. But, what's the UNSC?”

“Okay, so you’re not Covenant nor 'Mdama's lackeys. The United Nations Space Command has existed for hundreds of years. It was formed to unify Earth's governments in order to make space colonization viable. We recently got into this little scuffle with the Covenant, and now we made nice with them. Except, 'Mdama's fleet is still not being too kind to UNSC personnel.”

“The United Nations?”

“...Space Command, yes.”

“Your people must be very devout to unify so many so quickly.”

“Not quite, it took a long time before the UN finally became the only government on Earth, and even then, insurrection broke out a few decades ago.”

“What's Earth? I heard you mention it earlier.”

“Earth is humanity's birthplace amongst the stars. It is where our species was formed and grew up.”

“You're from another planet?”

“Yes, I was born on Harvest, an agricultural world, in 2520. At the age of 5 I saw my home turned to glass, along with my parents.”

“That's terrible! What could've done something like that?”

“The Covenant, who else?”

“Is this that 'little scuffle' you mentioned earlier?”

“Just the overture of it. It was the Human-Covenant War. Lasted 27 years, 25 billion men, women and children dead. Not quite a 'little scuffle', huh?”

Her jaw dropped open. Wow, her teeth were sparkly clean! I haven't even seen dentists with whiter teeth! “twenty-five...” she barely muttered.

“...Billion. I fought in the war, seen the kind of atrocities the Covenant committed. We lost almost half the human population in the war.”

“How could you survive!?”

“Day by day, bullet by bullet. War ain't a pretty thing, but valor is. That's what kept us going: the heroes.”

“True, but how did you end up here?”

“That's classified. How do you know what war is like? You seemed shocked about the casualties, and even surprised when I said I fought in the Human-Covenant War.”

“Hmm... It's been a thousand years since Equestria has been at war. We've only known peace thus far. I remember it like it was yesterday...”

“Wait... a thousand year ago, and you were there?”

“Of course, neither me nor my sister are affected by aging.”

“And I'm sitting here thinking that a man's lucky to hit a hundred.”

“100? Normally a pony's lucky to hit fifty.”

“Well, we are different species. The Galapagos Turtle has been known to hit 300. Though nowadays, they live mostly in wildlife sanctuaries.”

“Guess our world's are pretty similar. Here, the Gallopagos Tortoise can reach 300 years of age as well.”

“Gallopagos? Just sounds like you've put 'Gallop' into Galapagos. Anyways, back to why you're here. These ropes are starting to cut off blood circulation throughout my arms and legs. If that happens, clots will form, which have the potential to be fatal. Can you help me out?”

“Sure. You seem well versed in medical practice, where did you study?”

“Epsilon Eridani, Reach, before it was glassed. It was part of my training. I got sent to Miridem afterwards.”

“I take it those are other stars and planets?”

“Yes, and thanks for freeing me up. Where did you learn about astronomy? This land, no offense, is about 2000 years behind my people's technology.”

“2000 years primitive? Wow, you must know enough to make our scholars look like idiots. I actually learned about constellations and the sort from my sister.”

“Guess she must be star struck.” The door to the far left of the dungeon opened. In walked a lovely looking mare with a dusky blue coat. Her regalia was black, unlike the tall white one's gold. This mare was much shorter than the other, but still taller than most other ponies I've met.

“That I am,” she spoke.

“And you are...?”

“I am Princess Luna, and you?” Judging by her regalia and that she was talking to me, an extraterrestrial, I would have to buy that. Apparently they did take me to their leader.

“I am Lieutenant Joe, of the United Nations Space Command,” I turned back to the alabaster mare, “and by the way, I never caught your name.”

“I am Princess Celestia.”

“So, what kind of TLC am I going to face: Torture, Liquidation, or Cover-up?”

Luna spoke, “Well, that depends. You are going to tell me everything I ask of you.”

“Sure, I'm game,” I said with a shrug. Perhaps I could use reverse interrogation to find out what she's nervous about...

“Where are you from?”

“Awfully vague. Do you want to know where I was born, where my home is, or where I was immediately before being on this planet?”

“Luna, he was...” Luna blew off her sister. I've seen that kind of interaction before, between myself and my brother. It would be unacceptable for one princess to blow off the princess of another nation. I guess they were in fact sisters... and they weren't working politics here.

“Yes... to all of them,” she said.

“Alright, let's see. I was born on Harvest in the Epsilon Indi star system, I have a cozy little house on Luna (housing there is expensive!), and before I came to this planet I was aboard the UNSC Infinity.”

“You best not be playing games with me.” She seemed pissed.

Celestia stepped in, “I believe he is telling the truth, Luna. He already told me about Harvest.”

“I doubt that he actually has a 'cozy little home' on me, Celestia.”

“Oh, my bad,” I stepped in, Luna glared daggers at me, “Luna is the name of Earth's only moon. We reverted to the Latin names for Earth's sun and moon when we started colonizing other worlds.”

“And let me guess, your sun is called 'Celestia'?”

“Nope: Sol.”

“So you're here to colonize, then. Take over our world and force us into slavery?”

“No, I'm not here to do that!”

“Then what are you here for?”

“I... I can't tell you. That information, I'm pretty sure, is classified.”

“Convenient. The one thing that could clear your name is covered in black ink.”

“All I can say is it has to do with Jul 'Mdama, alright?”

“And who is this 'Jul 'Mdama'?” Okay, I could safely guess she was focused on the defense and safety of her subjects. And I was a threat being assessed. Best poker game ever!

Celestia stepped in, “'Mdama, correct me if I'm wrong, is still hunting down his people. He is here most likely because it was a great hiding spot?” she looked at me for corrections.

“Not exactly. The Infinity is hunting 'Mdama's fleet. We're done running and hiding. And I'm not hear to invade, just to keep my ear to the ground. Plus this place is terrible for hiding, it's teeming with life. Very few planets are actually like that, and those that are are great at sustaining long-term patrols.”

“If you're not here to invade, then why did you attack our soldiers?” Luna's voice was as cold and level as the arctic tundra.

“They attacked me. If you confiscated my stuff then you'd find a note, an order, from Captain Cupcake. He order my execution, but the tracker he sent failed to kill me. Later, (and you can talk to Keen Eye about this) I wanted to meet the Captain to talk about such an order. He drew a knife on me.”

“So you mean to say that our soldiers, Equestria's finest, attacked an innocent without provocation?”

“Yes.”

“I sincerely doubt that.”

“On my helmet is some audio logs. I was taking them for a secondary science mission on this world. They also contain similar information that will confirm my story.”

“And what do these 'audio logs' look like?”

“They are virtual audio files; they don't have a physical form, but are stored as data packets. If you give me my helmet, I'll be able to play them back for you.”

“Fair enough, but just a reminder: the guards aren't going to stun you next time.” My helmet somehow levitated over to me. It was wrapped in a blue aura, as was Luna's horn. What was this? Magic?

“What was that? The weird glow-y float-y thing?” I grabbed my helmet and donned it.

“What? You mean magic?” Celestia spoke. Dammit, I hate it when I'm right!

“Where I'm from, magic exists only in fictional childrens' tales. It isn't actually real, is it?”

“Why yes, of course it is! The fifth fundamental force; magic, electromagnetism...”

“... the gravitational force, and the strong and weak nuclear forces, yes. But in all of human history, no one has ever actually been capable of magic! And there are only four fundamental forces!”

Luna stepped in, “No, there are the five. I find it odd that your species has never had magic...”

“And their technology is 2000 years more advanced than ours,” Celestia noted.

“What?”

“I guess necessity is the mother of invention,” I began, “Oh! And this would make a great case study, seeing how different cultures evolve based on exposure to the ability of magic and the lack thereof!” My mind started running wild with the limitations of magic. That's how it works, I find something new and I try to break it, huh?

“Regardless, let's hear these audio logs,” Luna seemed to relax a little, maybe do to my studious intent of mind back there. I hit “play all”.

Once the last one finished, I checked my armor's medical suite. It reported back all green. I guess they healed my injuries. “Celestia, Luna, if it's at all possible, I really need to get back to my LZ. I wasn't alone coming here, and my friend is probably on high alert.”

“Your friend?” They responded in tandem. Cuteness factor: 8.3.

“Yes. It was his watch when I left the perimeter and those bat-ponies-”

“Thestrals,” Luna corrected.

“...Thestrals attacked me. How long has it been since I was captured?”

Celestia cut in, “Roughly eight hours. You were captured around midnight.”

“Uh oh. I just missed my entire watch. I've got to get back now!”

Celestia and Luna turned to face one another. In that moment they conveyed an entire conversation in the way only siblings can. Luna looked defeated, and with a huff said, “Fine, you're free to go. But I want you back here as soon as you're available.” The door unlocked. I bolted out of there.

It took several hours of running to get to the Whitetail. Good thing I payed attention when my brother talked to me about his running career. I found the manticore roadway, then the Pelican's IFF tag popped up. Bingo.

I neared the perimeter, then the fifty barked to life. *BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM*

“Flash! Flash!” I radioed out.

“Shit. Thunder! Joe, is that you?”

“Hold your fire, Pizza, I'm back.”

I got up and walked over to my fellow Spartan. “Jesus, I thought you bit the big one when you didn't show up. I wanted to go out looking, but I couldn't leave the LZ for fear of compromising it. What happened? And where is your kit?”

“Long story. TL;DR version: the locals are at least neutral again.”

“Sounds good, so I can just leave the LZ now?”

“Yep, their military has this forest locked down, civvies aren't gonna be passing through any time soon.”

“What about military patrols?”

“I'm still working on that, but we should be fine for now.”

“Alright, so what now?”

“Well, for now we need to excavate the Warthog, so fetch a spade. Then, we'll head over so I can introduce you to the princesses.”

“Princesses? What are you talking about?”

“Again, long story. I'll tell you what I can en route. They have my kit, you know.”

“Aww, now that's just great. I take it you want to bring the Warthog's mobile fifty to bear?”

“No, I want the 'Hog because it's a three hour run.”

“Well, let's get digging then!”

With the combined efforts of two UNSC Spartans, it still took a good fifteen minutes before the Warthog was free and mobile once again. The trip back to the princesses didn't take much longer thanks to my lead foot. Driving up the mountain was kinda fun though. Of course, we caught a lot of attention en route from passersby.

Pizza was still covered in manticore brains. Apparently it dried before the rainfall. We found our way to the castle grounds, and when I hopped out of the Warthog, Pizza tossed me his magnum. “Thanks,” I said, racking the slide. Not the Mighty Magnum, but close. I kept it holstered and advised Pizza to do the same.

In the main hall, we found the princesses waiting at their thrones, aside from that, it was barren. Celestia spoke, “Wow, that was fast. I thought the Whitetail was a three day walk away.”

“Oh it is, but I just got my ride to speed things up.”

Now she looked curious, “Your ride?”

“The M12 Light Reconnaissance Vehicle, or 'Warthog'. Tough, reliable, and fast, it will get you to where you’re going even if it's through a nuclear wasteland.”

“And I take it this is your friend?”

Pizza stepped forward, “Yes. I am Ensign Andrew of the UNSC. You can call me Pizza, as everyone else does.”

“Why are you called 'Pizza'?” Celestia asked.

“No one knows,” Pizza and I responded in sync.

A guard ran into the hall. It looked like he had urgent news, seeing as he blew past all of Crimson. “Miladies, something has happened.”

“What is it?” asked Celestia.

“The Caesar is refusing to have our forces settle the hostage situation. Even though it is pirates doing so, the Zebras still claim that any intervention would be less than desirable.”

“We need to get those hostages to safety!” Celestia seemed to be distressed at this.

Luna, on the other hand (or would it be hoof?), seemed to be planning something, “It is possible, sister, that we could send in the Wonderbolts. In this situation it may be easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.”

“Luna, I don't want to do anything that may strain this already delicate political situation. The Caesar is the Zebra's leader, but we can't just leave those hostages to themselves. Any intervention would be wrong; it is their waters.”

I stepped in, “If you don't want to send Equestrian armed forces after the hostages... then send us. It has been a while since we've been on a good hostage rescue.”

“We couldn't ask that of you. Even doing so may anger their Caesar.”

“Like I care about what he thinks. There are lives on the line, and I specialize in saving lives. Just tell me where to go.”

“Joe, we can't-” Celestia got cut off.

“They're on a small island near the Zebra coast. It is set up like a fortress, and it is a pirate holding them hostage,” Luna quickly said.

“Luna-”

“He's right. We can't be focused on sunshine and rainbows when lives are at stake,” the guard cut in. I'm starting to like Luna.

“Well, what's the decision? Are we gonna do the rescue or not?” Pizza was itching for action.

All were silent for far too long. “Yes,” Celestia finally spoke, “do it.”

“There is a shipyard to the West, around the mountain. Head over there, and talk to Admiral Nautical. He will get you underway.”

“Thank you, but first I think it best to refit for the operation. We'll attack at dawn, when senses are the most dulled for the unaware.”

“Clever thinking,” Luna commented.

“Wouldn't have made lieutenant without it.”

Pizza and I hopped back in the 'Hog. I turned it around and made a beeline back to the Whitetail LZ. It was 1700 hours, so we had some sand left in the glass.

Pizza and I equipped ourselves similarly. He grabbed a Jet Pack, DMR, Pulse Grenades, and a Sticky Detonator, “For breaching,” he said. He also tuned his armor with Dexterity, and Resistor, allowing for lightning fast weapon handling and fleet feet when the kitchen gets too heated.

Me, I ran with Promethean Vision, a Lightrifle, C-12 Satchel Charges, and a Shotgun. I tuned my armor with AA Efficiency and Sensor, to better locate the hostages. Overall, both our setups were meant to maintain effectiveness while minimizing collateral damage.

It looked like we were set, so we double checked the auto-turret and sealed up the Pelican. We had a long road ahead of us.

We eventually found Admiral Nautical. He was definitely a well-traveled man. I walked up to him in the shipyard, “Admiral, I'm Joe. I heard there's a little hostage situation with a pirate. I'd like to resolve it.”

“You and the rest of Equestria. Caesar keeps saying there can't be Equestrian military intervention there, Celestia made that clear,” he never turned around, keeping a keen eye on the cargo moving about.

“I talked with her about it, and turns out we're not Equestrian military. We'll need a ship to take us to and from, that's all you'll have to do. Me and Pizza? We've gotta do all the hard labor.”

“I still can't take you, Celestia's orders. Nopony is to interfere.”

Luna walked up to us, out of the shadows, “Good thing they're not ponies.”

Nautical almost fell over. “Luna?! Milady, what brings you here?”

“I'm just here to see these two off... or has there been a change of plans?” Her eyes narrowed, voice dropping pitch ever so slightly, hinting at a threat. Man, was she good! ONI would love her.

“Uh, No! No, milady, none at all! We'll set sail immediately!” He quickly started trotting over to one of the wooden airships.

Huh... I never thought about why they had a shipyard at 2000 feet and no nearby body of water... I guess they just use these airships for at least some naval work. The balloon the ship was suspended from looked far too small to lift the craft, but it did. Probably filled with Hydrogen, as dangerous as that may be. Wood... Hydrogen... No water... Wow, fire hazard much?

I nodded to Luna as Pizza boarded the ship after me. Once we got some distance from Canterlot's shipyard, I sought the Admiral. He was at the helm. “How far to the objective?”

“Not too long, maybe 5 hours, tops.”

“Do you know how he's equipped? His ship, crew, psyche..?”

“Not at all.”

“Good thing we're Spartans, then. Trained to adapt faster than anything else. How about the island, and the altitude we'll be deploying from?”

“The island has craggy rocks all around it, only one safe dock. I've been there before things got so politically tense.”

“Every officer a politician... But what about the altitude we'll be jumping from?”

“True... wait, what? You're gonna jump?!”

“Yessir. I was thinking that if the keel of this ship is hidden in the cloud cover, if it is available, the Zebras won't know what hit 'em. Aerial insertion is standard protocol for a small team to overrun a larger one.”

“Well then, the best of luck to ya.”

“We make our own luck.”

“Anywho, I think it would be dandy to not be seen during this operation. Oh, and the pirate's vessel is seaborn, in case if you were wondering.”

“Thank you, Admiral. I'll go inform my teammate about this. I'll check back in four hours, just before the drop. Oh, and if anyone asks, you were lost in the cloud cover. If they ask why, just say it never occurred to you to go over or under it. And for the record: we're stowaways. That way, Equestria's hands are clean.”

“Now that's just plain devious of you.”

“Admiral, it's best this-”

“I like it. Kick that pirate bastard's ass for me, will ya?”

I grinned, “Hell yeah, sir.”

Below deck, I found Pizza. “We drop in five hours. How are you feeling about this op?”

“I don't know what to feel. We're here to keep our eyes peeled for 'Mdama's fleet, not rescue tiny candy colored horses from their stripped, scurvy-ridden counterparts. I liked it better when the only rule was 'If it's purple, make it red'.”

“Pizza, we're both glad that the Covie War is over. At least this way, we'll be doing something genuinely good: saving the innocent from the outlaws.”

“Guess it's the Wild West, huh?”

“Well, I left my Winchester Repeater on Reach, so...”

“Heh, no-win scenario?”

“Pretty much. 'Mdama might pop in and skedaddle while we're out here, but if we stay at the Pelican, the hostages are gonna rot. Who said it was ever gonna be easy?”

“...The recruiter?”

“Ha, no. Those guys always glorify things. It's their job to.”

“Why don't we just split up? Then we can monitor the space while rescuing hostages.”

“Always have a plan B, Pizza. If I went down there to save the hostages and something went wrong, the only help would be five hours away.”

“We've lasted longer than that in a fight.”

“Well, we don't have Palmer to order Dalton around to drop us four Mantises so we can fight off some Covie air support, now do we?”

“True, but at least we don't have to deal with Roland.”

“True that. He withheld information so frequently, it almost got us killed more often than not. I wish he'd just say what needed to be said and let it be done.”

“Yeah, like with that data Miller was trying to decipher actually being teleportation coordinates.”

“Exactly! If he were to say that outright, we might have caught 'Mdama earlier. Now we're here just because Roland messes around too much.”

“Yeah, but maybe his incompetence is a good thing, though. I mean, we're here, right now, about to save some lives we otherwise couldn't.”

“True, but maybe that's just how the universe works? Maybe we would've wound up here anyways, we were given a science objective here, too.”

“Hmm... you might have a point there. I guess Roland really is worthless, after all.”

“Hit the nail right on the head there, pal. Rest up for a bit, we need to be ready to finish this fight once it starts.” I left Pizza sitting below deck as I went topside to find a place to sit down. I set my alarm for the drop.

Time passed, and after chatting with Nautical, Pizza and I were geared up and topside. We chambered rounds for all our weapons. I primed a C-12 Satchel Charge. He test fired his Jet Pack. We were set. “It's gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight!” I yelled out as we jumped over the edge.

We fell out of the clouds, both of us spread eagle. I saw the fortress on the island, and the ship was docked. I aimed myself at the ship, then went into a bullet dive. Pizza stayed spread eagle to provide top cover.

I rocketed groundside. Just prior to impact, maybe within 25 feet or so, I reversed and activated my reentry thrusters. I turned on Promethean Vision; reds all around. *BAP* *BAP* *BAP*
Three reds dropped as Pizza's DMR barked with the voice of death. I continued to look around the ship. No civvies. I radioed, “Ship is clear, let's rendezvous in the courtyard, continue the search from there.”

“Roger.”

I saw the red-clad Spartan glide down within the fortress, Jet Pack on full burn. I made my run, Lightrifle at the ready. Zebra 12 o'clock. Can't shoot, don't know if he's a pirate or not.

*Twang* His arrow glanced of my shield, barely taking it down a sliver. I scoped and fired. *POW* Off with his head! Invincible! Woo! Kill number 30.

Distant gunfire marked Pizza being right at work. I made my way to the top of the stairs. Seeing the range of Pizza's IFF, it looked like this wall was all that was between him and I. Promethean Vision showed no hostages beyond it... but two reds are! I planted a C-12 Satchel Charge. “Clear!” I radioed. Touch off.

*Wablam* Double Kill! The wall was vaporized. I ran through. Mass of hostile contacts at 7, 8, 11, 12, 2, and 3 o'clock. “I got left, you get right,” I ordered Pizza.

*POW* Triple Kill!

*BAP*

*POW* Overkill!

*BAP*

*POW* Killtacular! Inconceivable!

*BAP*

“Clear!”

“Clear!” Now, where were the hostages? Promethean Vision showed eight Greens 50 yards to the Southeast. Bingo. I love this thing.

“On me!” I radioed to Pizza. There was a metal door surrounded by masonry. I switched to my shotgun. “Pizza, breach!”

*Womp* A little red light appeared on the door. *Wablam!* Now the door was gone. I ran in.

I swept right to left. No hostiles, just civvies. “Clear!” Pizza walked in to join me. “Hostages secured. Mission complete.” I looked at the souls we saved. They were scared, malnourished, and several seemed to have suffered injuries. I spoke to them, “My name is Joe, we're here to rescue. Are there any others?”

A little filly no more than maybe six years old with the kind of face you just couldn't say “no” to walked up to me, “I think the mean men took the rest of us to their boat. Are they gonna be pirates, too?”

Shit. Promethean Vision doesn't mark the dead. The ship was clear. “Um, I'm not sure, but I'll tell you what, you can have all the ice cream you can eat if you be very nice and follow my friend, Pizza here, out of this place. Okay?” Her eyes lit up, bingo. Best to change the topic when it comes to that kind of bad news. Especially to one so young.

Pizza walked up, “Alright, women and children first. Men stay in the back. Evac should arrive shortly.” The little filly still had that sparkle in her eyes as she followed Pizza around. She was right at his ankles. Ice cream is serious business, after all.

Pizza walked us outside. The sun was on the rise, and for the first time in far too long, several of these hostages felt sunlight. The last time I felt actual sunlight across my body was before I was a Spartan. Damn, was it really that long ago?

Hold it... Something's flickering in the sun. Several somethings. And they're moving fast. “Fast movers, incoming!” I yelled out. Pizza quickly shuffled the ponies back inside. Too late. The contacts engaged at high speed.

*Twang* The first shaft hit. It didn't hit Pizza. It didn't hit me. It didn't hit the hostages, save for one. The one I promised ice cream to. She was now missing her left eye. Dammit, Mjolnir could've taken the hit, but not her. Pizza could've taken the hit, but not her! I ran out into the open.

“You want it, come get it!” I yelled to the heavens.

“Joe, get down!” Pizza yelled at me.

I yelled back, “Get them to safety, I'll draw their fire!”

*Twang* Another bolt, striking me this time, thank God. Shields: 7/8 capacity. I switched back to the Lightrifle, scoped in, and fired. Time seemed to slow. *POW*

*Twang* Shields: ¾ capacity. *POW* Double Kill! Shut up announcer guy, now is not the time! Another popped up, getting in very close. I tossed a Satchel at him.

*Wablam* Triple Kill! I was too close to the C-12. Shields were gone. Chunks of viscera in a red mist were all that was left of him. And a blue and gold uniform, fluttering to the ground in tattered pieces. Out of Satchels. The red mist turned my blue armor purple. There were still more.

*POW* Overkill! *POW* Killtacular! Unfrigginbelievable! *POW* Killtrocity!
They seemed to hesitate now, not that I cared.

*POW* Killimanjaro! *POW* Killtastrophe! *POW* Killpocalypse!
This one managed to close the distance. Before I could take his head off, he bucked the Lightrifle out of my hands. I grabbed my knife.

Assassination! Killionaire!
Through the chaos that was almost exclusively me, I heard a woman's voice call out, “Break attack, it's a Lunar Guard!” I haven't heard this voice before, but the arrows stopped raining.

Another flier in the blue and gold uniform that I saw earlier touched down 15 yards to my front. I was still holding the severed head of one of the men wore uniform. She looked shocked. What, haven't you seen war before? No? Okay.

I took weighted strides toward her, “What the HELL was that about?!” She came up to my gut, so I used my height for intimidation.

She still looked shocked, maybe because I was holding her dead comrade's head in one hand and the bloody knife that did the deed in the other. “Are you deaf?!” I yelled at her again.

“I'm... I'm sorry, we didn't know Luna had already sent forces. We... we went against orders, trying to save the hostages...”

“Name and rank, soldier. I want the name of the one responsible for killing a hostage.”

“Killing... a hostage?”

“Yes, soldier. Now, name and rank!”

“Spitfire... Captain.”

“Good, now get the Hell out of here and start licking your wounds, I've got a filly to bury.”

She still seemed shocked that her team killed a hostage, but she took off.

“Pizza, it's safe. Bring them out.” I needed to cool down. I tossed the head off to the side.

Pizza poked his head out from around the exploded doorway, “Shit, Joe, is 'bad guy' in this season, or is that just something you threw together?” I checked myself over. Yup. Covered head to toe in viscera blood, and... yep, that's half a spleen. Ooh! And a kidney!

“Fetch a spade, Pizza. We gotta bury this filly.” Too bad we didn't have any E-tools with us, we left those back at the Pelican.

“...Or the alternative....” He held up his Pulse Grenade.

“Toss it and let's get outta here.” *Whoowmpang* I watched the filly turn to ash, scattering in the morning breeze. The Admiral arrived.

Nautical seemed to be pondering something. I walked over to join him. “Something on your mind?”

“Oh, nothing. Just, that pirate ship is the Stormbreaker. It was previously a royal warship before we were re-equipped with airborne counterparts. I had her under my command before she was decommissioned. I'm just wondering how that pirate got her, is all.”

“Huh, guess somethings are purely coincidental. Say, what's this ship's name?”

“This old girl, she's the Benevolent Exchange. I've had her for seven years now, and she is a dream to pilot.”

“I'll take your word for it. I crashed my first dozen times in the flight sims. Eventually I got certified, though. Every failure was blamed on me pushing the craft too far. I say I was seeing what she could do, beyond just what the instruction book said. The only pilot I've seen who could best me in the air was Lieutenant Murphy, but he's still on the Infinity.”

“The Infinity?”

“Ah, the UNSC Infinity, a warship the size of a city. Five and a half kilometers, stem to stern. A thousand meters tall, and eight hundred wide. She's now the pride of the UNSC, and I got to serve on her. Hell, Pizza and I even saved the ship. Twice, counting the nukes.”

“Wow! That sounds like quite a ship. I'm starting to get a bit jealous now.”

“Yeah, that's one reason why I became a Spartan. She is quite a sight to see.”

“I believe ya. But... How does she dock?”

“She doesn't. She's so big she carries 10 Strident-class heavy frigates in her hull. She also has more Pelicans than I can even count, so the need of docking is handled by the other ships instead.”

“Okay, I'm completely jealous now. Can I sign up for that 'Spartan' thing?”

“Sorry, humans only.”

“Damn. Worth a shot, huh?”

“Hell yeah. I'll go down and check on Pizza and the hostages we rescued.”

I left Admiral Nautical at the helm. Below deck I found Pizza lying down again. “What's up?” I asked.

“I'm not too keen on being in the air on a boat. Give me a Jet Pack or even zero gravity.”

“Can you even get seasick in the air?”

“Even happens on Pelicans, but those flights don't last long. This here is a form of torture.”

“Don't worry about it, Pizza. I'm sure you'll get used to it soon.”

“That's what the Sergeant said ten years ago.”

“Well, at least it ain't permanent.”

“God bless. At least the hostages don't seem as perturbed by this as I am. In fact, they seem to be A-OK.”

“Well, that's a start. I've still got to report on what happened back there. Captain Spitfire disobeyed orders and engaged friendlies, killing a hostage. There is no way that can sound like a good thing.”

“Yeah. Must suck for her, then?”

“She just had the same audacity that we have. Only we went through the proper channels, she didn't. The pirates didn't seem to have technology that's too different from Equestria's.”

“Well, you should see their CQC. If it wasn't for Mjolnir, I'd be dead.”

“Is it really that nasty up close?”

“Yes. Don't question it: it's best to take them down at range. I lost my shield in ten seconds flat in that kind of combat. It seemed they weren't expecting the resistance nor the weight of Mjolnir, though. A lot of their attacks try to exploit one's center of mass. Another thing: they didn't seem at all surprised to see us. Were they expecting us?”

“I saw the same look on their faces too, and I don't think they knew about us specifically. I'd say they adapted quickly in the fight, I've seen other Spartans with similar looks.”

“I guess you’re right, but that's even worse.”

“I know. They already have the adaptability of a Spartan, and the strength to boot. With Equestria having equivalent technology, a war between the two will not end well. No wonder Celestia was so concerned about making a scene. I'll bring that up with her, see if we can help out Equestria's tech. Maybe the threat of mutually assured destruction will stave off a war with the Zebras.”

“Well, it's worked before, but those were not good times. Humanity was on the razor's edge of killing itself then. A single mistake and the Earth would've been an ashen wasteland.”

“Oh, but there were mistakes, on both sides.”

“Every time they happened though, the one with the trigger was too kind-hearted to pull it.”

“And that's how we'll make it work. How quickly do you think Equestria can industrialize? On a scale of America to Japan.”

“With their leadership, I mean you've seen Luna's use of façades, I would say it would be at, if not beyond, Japan. Lightning fast industrializing. Endgame in two turns.”

“Let's hope things go over smoothly.”

We arrived back at the shipyard. The rescued were shuffled into an awaiting medical ward. I walked up to the princesses as they oversaw the rescued ponies return. “We need to talk about a certain Captain Spitfire,” I said.

“What happened to your armor? It's purple. And what does Spitfire have to do with this?”

“Her forces went and tried to rescue the hostages. The only problem is that we were already there, and were shuffling them to safety. They mistook us for the pirates and engaged, killing a hostage, a young filly, in the exchange. Without having a way to parlay, and knowing only their hostilities, I fought back. I got ten confirmed kills on them.”

“Ten?! But... The Wonderbolts are still in their barracks! How could they have been over there?”

“Spitfire said they wanted to do some good, and that they didn't want to sit around while others were dying and in squalor. For their presence there, it can be confirmed via ten empty beds here, or by the bits of a Wonderbolt I'm covered in. That's kinda what happened to my armor.”

Celestia looked taken aback, Luna kept her cool. Damn, she's good! “I'll get their side of the story and see to their just punishment,” Luna said.

“One more thing... She said that I was a Lunar guard. I know I'm not, but I'd like to know how she got me confused with one.”

“It is because your armor is purple. The thestrals under my command all were a purple variant of the Royal Guard armor. It is practically their signature, aside from the bat wings.”

“Alright. And I was also hoping that we could start talking about providing a technological boost to Equestria. It should help with any kind of political tensions with the Zebras.”

Celestia spoke up, “That would be wonderful, but I think it's best to give it some time. We just lost ten Wonderbolts today.”

“For what it's worth, I had no idea they were friendlies. They shot first, I shot back.”

Luna stepped up, “You do realize this is not the first time you have shed Equestrian blood?” It sounded like it was a threat. It could have also been a ploy to get me into a corner. Or was it rhetorical?

“Every time, I defended myself and others. Cupcake drew and charged first. The thestrals in the Whitetail fired first. Even the pirates shot first, so when the Wonderbolts did the same? I acted the same Though I am taking to regretting those action, any alternative would have been more remorseful.”

That seemed to cool her coals. Celestia spoke, “Then I take it you would like to know the who's who of Equestria, and beyond, before any more skirmishes?”

“I would really like some intel with my intel. It would be very much appreciated.”

“Go clean yourself up and then we can get to discussing these things with you.”

“I'll get to it.” I walked away, linking up with Pizza. It seemed no one touched our Warthog since we left it here. Good. I drove.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

“And this was your first contact with ‘The Zebra Menace’?”

“Affirmative, though I only knew them as pirates at the time, sir.”

“So you proceeded to provide Equestria with some classified technologies of the UNSC?”

“Negative, Admiral. I only showed them what science is capable of in order to try and inspire their creative mindsets. It was merely a mental boot in the pants.”

“To what end did you seek for this?”

“Whatever end wouldn’t get everypony killed.”