A lot of arguing later, Vesper finally had Twilight on the line.

"Hello?" Asked Twilight, confused how a phone could be in Equestria.

"Twilight?" Vesper asked back.

"Wait, Vesper? How do you have a phone?"

"That's not important right- Wait, how do you know what a phone is?"

"I literally have a portal to a Human world lying around in my castle."

"Fair enough. I'm finally talking to you and it sounds like the author is getting a sense of time going so I'm not gonna question how you know this much."

"Uh..."

"Speaking of portals, I'm trapped in a parallel universe again." Twilight sighed. This sort of thing happened way too often to be surprising anymore. "You should be able to use this phone connection to either build a portal or get Dicklord to get me out of here, right?"

"Yeah, there shouldn't be a problem with that."

"Good. From the sound of things, we're in the third story so you can get Protagonist Three to help you with the portal."

"He's out right now buying oil for his legs."

"Damn. I guess you'll have to go to Dicklord then."

"Yeah. Don't worry, we'll get you out soon."

"Thank buck for that. Oh, there's a bit of a problem though."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm inside a simulation. I'm not sure how badly that'll slow him down, if at all, but just a heads up."

"Alright, I'll get to him right away."

"Thanks, Ass-tral." Vesper hung up the phone and put it into her pocket. I need to find out what happened while I was out... Vesper walked over to the cabin's door and opened it, revealing the cabin area from DR2 that I can't be bothered to describe.

Vesper checked her mailbox and discovered a letter. She read it.

No really.

She honestly did.

It's the last thing you'd expect but it really happened, yo.

'Yo' didn't really work there, did it?

It won't be a thing I'll use again.

Still, it's good to try new things.

Anyway, the letter said some shit.

As she finished reading, Vesper noticed the white haired fuck-face from earlier standing in front of her.

"The fuck do you want?" She asked. Fuck-face laughed stupidly.

"Hi, we met earlier but I think we got off on the wrong foot! My name's N-!"

"Why the fuck would a Human get off with their feet? Actually, never mind, I just remembered the internet..." She shuddered. "Anyway, go fuck yourself. I want you dead. Don't act so demented." Fuck-face frowned.

"I-" He was muted before he could continue. Monokuma popped a boner out of nowhere.

"Jeez, is that guy annoying!" He/it/I don't FUCKING CARREE exclaimed.

"Fuck you, Monokuma!" Growled Vesper. "As soon as I figure out how to open the dev's console, you're fucking dead!"

"Puhuhuhuhu, feeling feisty, are we? Although, you remind me of something I'm confused about."

"I will ram my fist-!"

"How did you do that spiny kick thing when, as far as the author has planned, you've never been trained to fight as a Human?"

"-DOWN YOUR INCOMPREHENSIBLY STUPID THROAT!"

"It doesn't really make much sense to me."

"I WILL GRAB YOUR LARGE INTESTINES-!"

"You would have to be really well balanced."

"-RIP THEM OUT OF YOUR BODY-!"

"It's overpowered that you can just do that for no reason."

"-AND STRANGLE YOU WITH THEM!"

"And now you're quoting Dan Vs." Vesper shrugged.

"What can I say? It's a good show. Well, was." Monokuma snickered.

"I'll let you onto a little secret!" Vesper frowned, not liking where he was going. "I was the one who cancelled Dan Vs!"

Vesper snapped.

Monokuma disappeared before Vesper could do anything, but that didn't stop her from taking out her anger on Fuck-face. Next Chapter: DanganVesper 2: Goodbye Despair, Hello Pain [Part 6] Estimated time remaining: 50 Minutes