The portal in Twilight's room had begun to shake. Well, the portal itself didn't shake at all; it remained as still as a statue throughout the entire ordeal. The space around it, however, began to shake, rattle and roll like it was in the epicenter of an earthquake. The entire structure around Twilight groaned under the shock, threatening to tumble down at any moment.

But at last, after what had seemed like an eternity of waiting, something finally happened. The portal turned a spectral rainbow of colors, dispelling the shadows that resided in the dimly lit room. The mouth of the vortex pitched and yawed wildly as if something was inside if it, trying to burst out. For some unknown reason, Twilight smelled the vague aroma of chocolate fudge. She levitated a scroll over and made a quick note of it.

-----

Pinkie Pie smiled broadly, bringing a fourth tray of fudge out of the oven. The breeze carried away the heavenly scent through several open windows placed in the kitchen of Sugarcube corner.

"Mmm..." pinkie took in the smell before it was stolen greedily by the breeze and taken away to some other part of Ponyville. "It always smells best when it's right out of the oven!"

-----

The portal had become erratic, spitting out massive amounts of colored lightning. Twilight yelped as a brilliant green bolt shot past her head, leaving her ears ringing.

I wish whatever this thing was doing would just hurry up and do it already, she thought. The house can't take much more if this.

As if taking a cue from her thoughts, the portal gave a final, massive belch and exploded, spitting out some large, fleshy mass from within before collapsing in on itself and dissipating, leaving a dazed unicorn and a half-broken tree house in its wake.

And, of course, the large ape-like thing on the ground that was currently screaming its head off. "KKKINSSSSS!" It sputtered before curling up into a ball and seizing up, spasms coursing through its slender muscles like an electric current.

For all her fancy vocabulary, Twilight just sat there, staring dumbstruck at the thing her portal had brought her. This thing, whatever it was, was from another dimension! What stories did it have? What amazing feats could it preform? Could it even speak Equestrian?

"*Cough*... Fuck that hurts..."

Well, that answered one question.

Forcing her hooves into motion, Twilight ran over to the limp form and kneeled beside it. Up close the thing was even larger, topping out at almost six feet tall. Its clothes, basic jeans and a dull green sweatshirt, were still smoldering from the transdimensional journey.

"Uh... Hello?" With the delicateness of a butterfly, Twilight laid a hoof on the creature's back.

Sensing something on its back, the thing shot upright and flailed about for a moment like her touch had shocked him. Finally, he stumbled to his feat, panting a bit. "Holy crap! That was the weirdest thing that's happened to me this week!" Though he spoke passively, his voice dripped malice like poison from a snake's fangs. "Shoot, someone shure opened a can of whoop-ass on this place," he grumbled, staring at the spectacular wreckage of Twilight's room.

As the thing looked around, Twilight summoned the courage to speak. "Uh... Hello?"

"Hey, what's up? I don't suppose you got dumped here by some swirly rainbow portal eithHOLY CRAP A TALKING HORSE!" Chester screamed as he scrambled up onto a bookshelf, clinging to the downed shelf with equal parts fear and confusion. On instinct, he picked up a splintered piece of wood and held it like a sword, aiming the tip at the thoroughly confused Twilight Sparkle.

"Are you a monster? Am I dead?" He groaned. "That's it. I died and went to hell. That's why everything here is all sunshine and rainbows. Stupid!" He reprimanded himself with a slap upside the head, the dull thwack echoing through the torn apart library.

"Actually, you're not dead. I finally was able to make an inter-dimensional portal, and transport-"

"Wait wait wait..." Chester cut her off, waving the stick wildly as he spoke. "So, I'm not dead?"

"No."

"An I'm not just hallucinating?"

"No."

Apprehension got the better of him, and he began poking Twilight with the stick (much to the unicorn's annoyance). "Are you sure? I'm taking to a purple horse after being sucked through a rainbow portal. This just screams 'drug trip', if ask me."

"I can assure you that this is real. And stop poking me." She moved out of poking range as she spoke and picked up several scrolls with her magic. "Now, I'd like to ask you some questions-"

"Ah, flying scrolls! Kill them with fire!" Chester panicked, throwing the stick at the "flying" scrolls and retreated behind the fallen bookshelves, scrambling to find another weapon.

It never occurred to Twilight that this thing had never seen magic before. By the time she realized it, Chester was already throwing books at her, screaming blindly as he pelted her with the best of Ponyville's literature. "Hey, stop that! It's just magic!"

The barrage stopped. Chester poked his head out from his impromptu fort, glaring at Twilight apprehensively. "Magic?"

"Magic."

Chester snorted, pointing derisively at Twilight. "Magic is gay. You're gay."

"I'm not gay, though. What does that even have to do with-"

"Gay," spat Chester.

"How can magic have a sexual orientation? That's not physically possible, let alone-"

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" Chester purposely drew the word out, interrupting Twilight in the rudest possible manor.
With a huff, Twilight threw the parchment onto the remaining upright table. "Well fine! We'll just do that later! In the meantime, I better write to the princess about this. This discovery could change the world! I just need to-"
She turned around, eyeing the human with the tiniest hint of disdain. "-warn her about his behavior."
Chester just grinned stupidly, flashing his pearly whites in a mangled troll face.

She ran a hoof through her mane, sighing inwardly. I thought this was going to be a great adventure! This... Thing is ruining the whole experience!

"So... What can I call you?" Twilight forced a cheesy smile at the thing as it reclined on a scattered pile of books in the corner.

"I'm Chester."

"Ok... Chester. I'm Twilight Sparkle-"

If Chester had been drinking something he would have spit it out violently. "Wait... you're name's Twilight Sparkle?"

"Uh... yes?"

He guffawed in her face. "Ha! That's got to be the stupidest name I've ever heard!"

"Well, I-"

"No, wait. Don't tell me," he managed to choke out between gasping laughter, "next thing you know you'll be telling me that your name's something even stupider like "Obsidian of Borg," or something! Bua ha ha!"

As the human returned to his breathless state, tears of laughter spilling down his face, Twilight facehoofed. He's a real gem, she thought. I wonder if his special talent is begin a jerk..

She managed a weak, halfhearted smile at her own joke. "Yeah... ha ha. You wait right here. I need to go write a letter. I'll be right back." She gave him a deadly glare. "Don't go anywhere."

If looks could kill, Chester would already be in a box underground. But, being the jerk he was, he decided to retort with sarcasm. "Sure thing, miss bitchy talking boss horsey. Whatever you say!" He gave her a series of salutes followed by some less than appropriate gestures with his hand.

"Eugh," Twilight buried her face in her hooves for a moment, desperately trying to keep herself from throwing Chester out a window.

Calm down... Calm down... Just write the letter to Celestia. She'll know what to do about this.