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The Great Princess Race

by TheGreatEater

Chapter 2

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As Twilight and company walked out of the Royal Hospital Tower of the Castle, Twilight looked over the walkway that lead to the main castle and saw the most horrendous sight she had ever seen since she walked into Pinkie Pie bathing in a tub of peanut butter and jelly with Princess Cadance when the princesses last visited to Ponyville. For reasons best left to the imagination ... if one wanted to hurt themselves pondering such things.

Surrounding the city was Shining Armor's signature bubble shield, and outside it a sloshing sea of sick. It's nauseating motion making Twilight turn green. With a sigh Luna said, "Worry not Twilight even now the sea's receding into the other nations where it'll be there problem. We'll just blame it as the cousin of the Smooze, and bribe Canterlot to be silent with a 'special' calendar for the next year of us Princesses ... although some of us might need their photos to be ... touched up more than others," she tacked the last bit of her pep talk with the tact of a sledge hammer from space.

"Thanks, now I have new growths and photos of my freakish form to look forward to," Twilight sniffled.

"Worry not Twilight, for our sister is in a worse boat than you. And I shall whip at least you into physical perfection. Soon all the ponies will be at your door to ply your affections," Luna said merrily giving the younger princess a hug that could have crushed lesser ponies, and some smaller mountains. But as Twilight was an alicorn it just made her eyes bulged like a squeaky toy, and an Alicorn egg popped out of her.

Everypony looked at Twilight and Cadance mumbled, "I forgot we could do that. Twilight don't worry unless you were you know, they're just like a chicken egg in this form."

"Know what, and what's form two?" Twilight squawked.

"Mashed Potatoes," Celestia replied quickly. Causing Twilight to blanch, "as for the second form. Have you ever wondered how I got Spike's egg?"

"You what!?" Twilight said even know more shocked than ever.

"Let's just say that Spike sees me as a second mother for more reasons than one. After all how do you think the first dragons were made?" Celestia joked.

"Evolution?" Twilight hazzard.

To which Celestia and Luna laughed bodily, before Luna replied near tears, "why yes, our parents were evolutionizing something in a matter of speaking. Now we should just let Celestia have your egg before her salivation forms a second flood and we'll talk about what you came here for originally."

***

The Cutie Mark Crusaders and Spike lay on a pillow big enough for all of them as everypony got comfortable. The CMC looking at Celestia drooling over Twilight's egg as her magic brought forth the ingredients for a cake and a large mixing bowl. Luna stifled a laugh and Celestia gave a playful retort, "Luna if you don't stop teasing me about Twilight and my own perfectly reasonable size. I shall spill the secret of -"

Luna wrapped Celestia's muzzle with magic, "Tia no! Thou shan't! Your sizeable proportions are perfectly normal in certain parts of history."

Celestia countered, "What parts of time. Tell me or everypony shall know of the secret petting -"

Again blocked by magic, Luna offered hopefully, "Paleopony, or Pre-Equestrian Era?"

"SHE HAS A PETTING ZOO OF BABY TRESSYMS!"

"She lies! Awesome ponies like me don't do cute, and utterly adorable isn't that right Rainbow Dash," Luna asked.

While almost everypony was clueless to what a Tressym was. Fluttershy and Cadance squealed with fillyish glee. While Rainbow Dash blushed cutely, "Sure, right, why would we do cute and adorable," she said with obliviously feigned indifference.

"Oh so you won't mind me getting rid of the orders for clouds to the Gardens then? After al I see no clouds in that place," Celestia asked with a smile that would make a shark shiver.

"Okay fine," Luna teleported into the roof a litter of winged cats, some with wings like a pegasi, others the bat-like wings of her moori, "I shall have my revenge sister."

The foals in the room, as well as Cadance and Fluttershy lept into the pile and played with the adorable balls of fluff while Luna and Rainbow Dash's stoic facade held strong.

Cadance looked at Twilight and said, "Now about those seatbelts. They are a freebie when one either ascends to Alicornhood, or is born an Alicorn. But they are also part of many numerous parts of ancient alicorn traditions.

"Now mostly they pop out when stressed, scared, or in times of great need. Now the big thing we never told you about Alicorns to keep you safe is you must never wear a 'Suit of Challenge' with your seat belts summoned. Basically a suit of challenge is an alicorn version of peacocking. It's the most attention grabbing thing you can think of, and is showy.

"Also for some strange reason, and I trust your friends not to abuse this, Alicorns must never cover oneself with pudding at midnight. As you could guess Celestia discovered this fact and she as well as Luna prank each other with it often."

"Wait ... anything attention grabbing? And what if some other pony does it to her?" Rainbow Dash asked eagerly.

"Yes, and if it's done as a prank still counts. Trust me I learned that out the hardway from one of the foals I foalsat after Twilight."

"Funny I don't remember hearing anything about that," Twilight said.

"Well it's the same reason thoughts of Celestia and pudding make ... yep she's doing it again," Cadance said as Twilight looked sightlessly a head of herself. When that spark of self returned Cadance finished with, "repressed memories dear Twilight. Repressed memories."

"Phaa, I asked how things could get worst and the Universe had to reply. It's days like this I want to become evil and lead another Changeling Invasion.," Twilight facehoofed.

"Well if it makes you better, I wrote to you about Chyrssy, Shiny Hiney, and I ages ago. But you never replied about it. I can talk to her for you if you'd like?"

"Oh she didn't read all of that letter, she got to a part about licking the crystal heart and exploded. She still doesn't remember trying to teleport an Ursa Major cavalry, armed with magical rocket launchers. Too bad because it was funny," Spike replied to Cadance before asking, "So what do all of your SoCs look like? And how does Twilight earn Alicorn points?"

The princesses minus Twilight shone with magic as they summoned their SoCs. Luna was decked out in a cape of bats holding blue painted turtle shells, With actual socks that were flashing with magical light of a carved pumpkin, and a santa hat.

Celestia wore a golden apron, over a tiedye, full body tressymsuit, which is like a cat suit but for Pegasi. From her apron flew several mini cakes which orbited her sombrero, which she wore at a jaunty angle. Feeling pity for the mortals in the room for the last outfit that was going to be summoned. Celestia and Luna summoned goggles onto them, and Spike.

Cadance wore a dress woven in threads of madness, conflicting colors and patterns, and Twilight was pretty sure it was made using fifth dimensional, non-euclidean geometry. Then there was the glittery streamers attached to her horn. She blushed as she tried explaining the thing that never should be, "the foal wanted my help making a pretty dress. Using one of father's inherited spell books for inspiration, and I wanted to try using my fledgeling alicorn magic to make something pretty.

"End result I drove a majority of the castle staff insane or blind. Or in Twilight's case both."

Rarity of course at this time went into a coma from seeing the Necronomicon of Fashion. But thankfully Sweetie Belle being a good filly pointed out, "You mean like now?"

"Oh dear, well I guess we'll put these away for now, and get Twilight to bed," Cadance sighed.

***

As the night rose, two ponies looked in on Twilight's body. Who now was less comotose, but more fevered dreams filled with logic bashing nightmares. "So Pinks you thinking what I'm thinking?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I am. But where can we get some of those awesome cakebreros?"

"No I'm talking about the best prank ever?"

"Oh! This shall be good," Pinkie replied with a face splitting smile.

Author's Notes:

Google Image Search for Tressym. Tressym exist in DnD, but I'm saying FIMVerse's aren't Chaotic Good, but rather Neutral Good / Neutral Neutral. And funnily enough, there are winged cats IRL, but it's usually a not totally cool genetic condition, and while a few do have wing bones. Can't fly.

Thankfully FimVerse isn't Earth. So pegasus kitties.

Yes, Celestia used mashed potatoes for an analogy when Twilight was old enough for things.

And finally. I want this fic to be E, but feels close to Teen with the stuff I'm slipping past the radar Adventure Time style. So what do y'all think Teen, or is it so far beneath the radar / hard to spot that it's still E worthy? The egg thing though ... That came to me randomly today when I thought about Luna's hug. And I got an image of the few fics based around Princesses laying eggs. So in it went.

Next Chapter: Chapter 3 Estimated time remaining: 16 Minutes
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