Before I go into the shit storm that went down that night, before I go any further with this, I think I should mention that I have a pretty wild imagination. And by wild I mean that sometimes my speculations can get…well…ahead of my rationality. I can list off at least five descriptions of hypothetical parents of Scootaloo that I had conjured in my head. Heck, I even thought she might have been an orphan, and had all these thoughts about what her foster parents would be like.

I thought of burly drunk stallions blurting slurred words accented by vicious strikes. The thought of Scootaloo being physically abused made my blood boil. I thought of dull colored and spectacled mares with an iron hoof of tyranny and mental torment. The thought of that innocent little filly being oppressed and controlled made me seethe.

It just…I guess I just obsessed a bit more about the possibilities than I should have. Got myself worked up over nothing.

Well, it wasn’t nothing, but…you know what, I’ll just get right into it.

So there I was, standing in front of Scootaloo’s front door with Twilight standing right behind me, when the door creaked open. All the possibilities of who could come through that door ran through my head at once, and the mare that stood in the doorway met absolutely none of those images.

She looked somewhere between the ages of Mrs. Cake and Twilight. I had a hard time pinning her age exactly, but if I really had to guess…twenty, maybe. Maybe twenty one. I’ve never been much good at guessing. Either way, I did some quick math in my head, and came to the conclusion that the likelihood of this being the mother of an eight year old filly was pretty negligible. I doubted that teen pregnancy was even a thing in Equestria.

I just figured she was a babysitter, maybe a sister or cousin, and moved on.

Her coat was a light and dull shade of yellow, one with far less life than Flutters. Her feathers were the same color; she was a pegasus. Speaking of her wings, they looked a bit worse for wear. Not broken or anything, I just mean it looked like she hadn’t been preened in a while. They were closed at her sides, the excess feathers rustling together awkwardly.

Her mane was a dull shade of orange, and looked a bit unkempt; not dirty, just as if it hadn’t been cut in a while. The front hung down, framing the left side of her face while the right side was completely covered by long bangs. In the back, her mane had been hastily tied into a thick braid with several tufts of hair poking out. The braid ran down the left side of her neck and down to her…knee? Do ponies have knees? Whatever, I’m calling that middle joint on their legs knees.

All this time in Equestria and I still haven’t even looked into equine anatomy. Wonder why.

Her eyes were closed initially, her eyelids flinching at the sudden brightness of the outdoors. She reached a hoof up to rub her irritated eyes, allowing me to take notice that her fetlocks were unshorn. The tips of her dark yellow hooves showed through the thick fluff that bordered it.

“Can I help…” she trailed off as she found herself looking at my waist rather than the face of a pony. Her eyes moved up to my face, and I finally got a good look at her eyes. Or eye, rather. Like I said, her hair covered one of them.

Now, I don’t know a lot about horses, but given that I’ve been working with parents, I know that the color of a parent’s mane and coat has no bearing on those of their children. I don’t get it. Genetics isn’t exactly my cup of tea.

But the eyes on this mare were the exact color of Scootaloo’s. I had absolutely no proof that this was her mother, or sister, or was even related to Scootaloo in any way, but I knew those eyes. But there was something in those eyes that I didn’t recognize in Scootaloo.

Trepidation. I wouldn’t say fear, no really, just…inordinate caution. Scootaloo generally just threw herself into situations, but from the look this mare was giving me…no, she didn’t really give me that same vibe.  I didn’t think much of it at the time, but it was in the corner of my mind.

“…you?” she finally finished, her voice much more hushed than at the beginning of her sentence.

Because, you know. Human. I sorta figured everybody was over the novelty of having an alien around at this point, especially after Twilight held an official town meeting introducing me…which I thought was a bit much, but who was I to tell a princess not to do something? And yeah, it was a little weird for everybody for a couple weeks, but it passed. I’d been in Equestria for…shit, uh…six months? Seven?

The mare was just standing there, open mouthed and wide eyed, and it was making me a bit uncomfortable. Though I was probably making her a bit more uncomfortable than she was me. How long were we just looking at each other?

Twilight nudged me in the back of my leg with her head, pushing me forwards a step out of surprise. The mare in front of me took a step back in response, but I wasn’t looking at her. I had turned my head to the side to look at Twilight out of the corner of my eye.

Yeah, she was getting impatient with me.

I rolled my eyes and turned back to face the mare at the door. God, for fuck’s sake, how long was I just standing there!? Why am I so awkward in situations like these!?

“Er, hello,” I finally settled on, crouching down and putting my hands on my knees in some attempt to look smaller to the mare. She was looking sorta shaken.

The mare didn’t respond. Not with words, anyway. What she did do was continue to look at me with that flabbergasted expression on her face, walk backwards into her house, and slowly close the door.

I blinked at the display, bewildered. Was she really that wigged out? Twilight walked up to my side and tilted her head curiously, eyes on the door.

“That was…odd.”

“Yeaaah. Odd.” I sighed and idly placed a hand on the back of Twilight’s neck, using her as leverage as I stood. She looked at me, annoyed. I gave her a half hearted smirk and rustled her neck before pulling my hand away.

“So…what now?” Twilight asked. I shrugged.

“I guess we knock on the door again,” I mused. Twilight arched an eyebrow.

“We?”

“You came here because you were worried about Scootaloo, same as me,” I pointed out. She glared at me. I raised my hands up defensively. “Okay, yes, I know, I brought it up to you and I’m the one who wanted to come to her house uninvited. I get it. But if you haven’t noticed, I gave it a shot, and she just walked back in.”

“And you were really pushing the envelope with that introduction, weren’t you?” Twilight said.

On a day on which someone has to confront one of their best friends on the subject of their home life, one really, really does not need snark from a certain purple alicorn.

“Said the Princess of Friendship. If you know what you’re doing, don’t let me stop you.” I gestured to the door before crossing my arms, waiting. Twilight furrowed her eyebrows. I couldn’t quite tell if the look she was giving me was one of anger, hurt, or disappointment.

Honestly, I couldn’t tell you which one I would have preferred.  

It was that look that got the little self-aware part of my brain to tell the rest of my brain that I was being a dick. That part of my brain should really voice his opinions more often. It would probably stop me from getting into situations like this in the first place.

I sighed, looked away, and scratched the back of my head nervously.

“Sorry. I’m just really on edge about all of thi-“

“No, Hunter, it’s fine, you’re right,” Twilight interrupted hurriedly. “I should…I should probably be participating a-“

“Sparklez, quit it,” I said, looking back to her sternly. “It’s…it’s not…look, I’m on edge, but that doesn’t mean I can just dump it on you, and I can’t pass off responsibility just because I tried once and it didn’t work out. I’ll give it another go, okay?”

Twilight smiled briefly and nodded her head. Good, unneeded apology averted. I swear, sometimes these ponies just don’t know when to set blame on someone other than themselves. I suppose it’s a cultural thing. Can’t tell if all the peace that kind of thing would bring to humankind would be worth how annoying it would be.

Eager to get this over with, and admittedly curious about the mare’s reaction me, I stepped forwards and rapped my knuckles on the door.

“Hello? Miss?” I said when the door wasn’t opened. No response. “Miss, please open the door.”

Nothing. I reached up and rubbed my temples, a bit frustrated with my complete lack of progress.

“I just want to talk!” I called, a bit of irritation leaking into my voice.

“Nopony’s home!”

I blinked and gave the door an unimpressed look. At that rate, I wasn’t going to be in the house anytime soon. So I tried something else.

“Ma’am, does a filly named Scootaloo live he-“

I didn’t even finish my sentence. The door opened violently, causing me to step back in surprise. It was the mare again, but she was giving me a completely different look. She was still a bit shaky, but her face…she had the most intense look of worry on her face, one I’ve never seen replicated before or since.

Those familiar eyes of hers were wide and unstable, her pupils large and shifting, her whole body was shivering, her wings were opening and closing frantically at her sides, and the most obvious indicator of her concern were the first words that came out of her mouth, and how they were said.

“What about Scootaloo?” she shot at me, her voice loud and her tone tormented. She rushed up to me, barely a foot away. I took another step back, suddenly wondering about what I had gotten myself into.

“Is she hurt? What happened? Is she okay?” she went on in a panic. She was like…like a piece of glass about to shatter, as if anything at this point could make her break.

“W-What?” I responded, holding up my hands in defense and backing away from the mare. “No, she’s fine.” As far as I knew.

The mare put a hoof to her chest and let out a ragged breath of relief. She seemed to suddenly notice how ill composed she was, and moreover how close she was to me, and backed off to a more comfortable distance.

“Oh, oh thank Celestia,” she let out, her breathing heavy and distraught. I tried to keep my mind open, but thus far, it seemed like Scootaloo was living with a crazy person. Pony. Whatever, look, I was just trying really hard to not write off Scootaloo’s situation, or construct something uninformed in my head, but it was a little difficult to avoid that when this is your first impression.

“Miss, are you okay?” I asked, crouching down once again. She closed her eyes and shook her head dismissively.

“I-I’m fine, you just…just startled me is all, that’s all, I’m fine,” she said, still breathing heavily. God, I must have taken ten years off of the mare. Speaking of years, her voice surprised me a bit. I thought that maybe she just looked young for her age, but her juvenile voice betrayed that idea.

She finally became aware that she was before two people she didn’t know. Well, one, anyway. Her eyes went to Twilight, and she started to get that panicked look again.

“P-Princess Twilight?” she shrilled, quickly bowing. “W-What are you d-doing here? Did I do something wrong? Did Scootaloo-“

“M-Ma’am, please calm down,” Twilight replied uncomfortably. I guess she still wasn’t accustomed to her position. Or that some crazed mare groveling at your hooves can be a bit disconcerting. Probably both. “Neither you or Scootaloo are in any sort of trouble or danger.”

Once again, as far as we knew, but whatever chilled her out would be worth saying.

The mare let out another shuddering breath, and got to her hooves. I can see where she was coming from. It’s not every day that an elected official comes to your door, less so with good news, and even less so with an alien. If Barack Obama came to my door with a Xenomorph, I’d probably shut the door on them too.

“S-so if nothing’s wrong, then what’s going on?” The mare asked. She was looking to Twilight, but every couple of seconds she would shift her unstable gaze to me, then immediately back to Twilight. I just thought she was uncomfortable about the whole ‘alien thing’. I was right, to a degree.

“We came here to talk to Scootaloo’s parents,” Twilight explained. Well, not explained. It was a pretty half assed explanation, and left a lot of holes, but I understood why she responded in that way. ‘We thought a young filly was being abused here, and just wanted to check things out’ isn’t exactly the go to thing to open up with. “Are either of them home?”

“B-But you said nothing was wrong!” The mare practically shouted. “If nothing’s w-wrong, then why would you need to talk to me?”

I, being slower than anybody would care to be, took a second to absorb the implications of what she had said. Once they finally sunk through my thick skull, I looked the mare up and down once more. She couldn’t have been older than twenty two.

“Nothing’s wrong miss, I swear,” I reassured. Her eyes lingered on me for once, but she looked pretty eager to shrink away into her house once more. “Let me just confirm here: are you Scootaloo’s mother?”

“Y-Yes,” the mare affirmed quickly, as if the information was far less important to her than what Twilight had said. She looked back to Twilight with pleading eyes.

Taking a quick glance at Twilight, she seemed as surprised by this development as I was. I could have written off her age as something culturally normal, but Twilight’s momentary look of shock put that thought to rest.

“Ma’am, please understand that nothing is wrong,” Twilight promised. “Hunter and I here just needed to talk to you.” The mare opened her mouth to respond, no doubt in the same manner as before, but Twilight continued. “May we talk inside?”

“I…um…”The mare looked to me, then behind her shoulder at the interior of her home. “…A-Alright, that’s…that’s fine, c-come on in.”

I grimaced at the look she’d given me. It was as if Twilight had asked her if she could bring a bag of spoiled meat into her home. Bag of spoiled meat? Whatever, I’m bad at analogies; the point is that I felt unwanted.

The mare walked into her home, casting several quick glances at Twilight and I. I felt a bit apprehensive about entering. Twilight looked to me meaningfully and nudged her head towards the door. In return, I nudged my head. She nudged hers harder. I returned in kind. Twilight smirked as her horn glowed, and I suddenly felt a familiar tingly feeling on my back. I was thrust forwards into the house, and I had to take a moment to balance myself.

“Friggin’ magic…” I muttered under my breath.

Looking over the foyer…well…it looked as if someone inordinately meticulous was living in this place. Which, given by the mare’s behavior, didn’t surprise me all that much. There were no stains on the floor, no smudges on the walls, no mess at all, and certainly not enough to imply that a kid was living here. I mean, it was preferable to seeing that Scootaloo was living in some horrible mess of a home, but it still worried me.

I also noticed some of the furniture had been worked on. More specifically, the tables, chairs, just everything that had once had an edge had been shaved down. Every edge was no longer an edge, but a curve. My mind didn’t linger too much on it. I could barely comprehend as to why anybody would do that to their furniture.

And as long as I’m talking about the interior of the house, every floor was carpeted. There was no doubt tile or hardwood was beneath it, but yeah, every floor. I had some questions for whoever decorated the place, but figured it wasn’t exactly a priority.  

I followed the mare through the room, taking note of her behavior. She kept glancing back at me. I think she saw me catch her at some point, because she very suddenly turned her head away and didn’t look back again.

Twilight came up to my side as the mare walked into a room off to the side. Once again, this room was clean to a ridiculous degree. I doubt I could find any dust or dirt in the place if I tried. It looked like a living room to me. It looked not unlike the living room in the house I grew up in: A couple shuttered windows on one side of the room, a couch pushed against one of the walls, a smaller couch facing perpendicular to the first, a nice rug covering the majority of the hardwood floor, and a coffee table in the center of the room. Very homey. The only stark difference I could see from my own living room was instead of a television on one side of the room, there was a shelf with photos lined up on one of the walls, along with a painting placed above it.

The painting was dominated by many of the same colors that dominated the room: warm colors. The wallpaper was orange, the carpet was yellow, and the couches were red. For whatever reason, the colors made me feel more at ease.

The mare hopped up on the smaller couch and situated herself. It was my first opportunity to really look at her cutie mark.

It was a brushstroke, one that formed a nearly completed circle. It was comprised of, once again, warm colors. The bright red of the outside of the cutie mark set oddly against the dull yellow of the mare’s coat. The mare, color wise, was much duller than her home, or even her cutie mark.

I walked over to the larger couch, and began to sit at one end, the one that was right next to the couch that the mare had sat in. I stopped when I saw Twilight. She was looking between the mare and myself meaningfully, and cleared her throat obviously.

Right. The mare is uncomfortable around humans. I didn’t want to appease someone’s issues with me, but if it made her more calm, than I supposed it was worth it. I moved over to the center of the couch and sat down. Twilight sat next to me where I had intended to sit.

There was an awkward silence as no one stepped up to the plate on the whole ‘conversation about Scootaloo’ thing. The mare licked her dry lips before curling them back into her mouth, probably impatient and stressed about how no one had said anything yet.

Twilight’s tail brushed against my leg. She wanted me to be the one to instigate the conversation. I appreciate that she was there to push me to actually do this thing, and don’t really know what I would have done had she not come with me, but having to step up still sucked regardless.

“Miss, I…oh, I’m sorry, I never got your name,” I said, realizing it for the first time.

“…S-Summer Shade,” she responded shakily, not meeting my eyes. She didn’t ask for my name. Twilight had already said it, but I thought it would have been rude to not introduce myself in kind.

“I’m Hunter Alexios, but uh, just Hunter is fine, and this…” I paused as I gestured to Twilight before lowering my hand and chuckling awkwardly. “I don’t think she really needs an introd-“

“Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight interrupted, outstretching a hoof to Summer Shade. Summer gave the hoof a wary look before reaching hers forwards and bumping it against Twilight’s.

It didn’t escape me that she hadn’t said ‘Princess’. Guess she didn’t want to intimidate the poor mare. Despite the fact that we all knew she was a princess, which is kind of hard to hide if you’re an alicorn, it did seem like she was making an effort to put herself on an even playing field to the rest of us.

I tried to think of a way to ease into the conversation, and the painting on the wall seemed like a perfect opportunity.

“That’s a very beautiful painting,” I noted. Summer seemed to brighten up a bit at that. And by a bit I mean she just raised her head a little bit, making her look a bit less…depressing.

“Oh, that one?” Summer quavered, pointing a hoof up to the painting. She only looked at me as long as she had to to see me nod, and lowered her gaze to floor as soon as she did.

“I…t-that’s not really one of my better ones, I don’t even know why I bothered h-hanging it up there…” She trailed off towards the end of her self-deprecating comment.

“You painted that?” I asked, impressed. It really did blow me away a little, although I guess you could attribute that to my shitty art skills. I can’t paint to save my life, and this mare had made something stunning.

She only nodded in response this time, and more to herself than to me.

“You’d make a mint if you sold paintings like that,” I said, trying to keep her talking.

She remained silent for a moment before opening her mouth, as if to speak, and then thinking otherwise and shrinking back into the couch. It was another couple of seconds before she spoke up.

“I-I, um…I don’t really paint for that kind of thing. Uh, money, I-I mean. It just…it’s therapeutic, I guess.”  

“How so?”  

“Calms me down,” she explained quietly. She finally looked up, her eyes on Twilight.

“W-Why are you two here? D-Don’t just sit there like nothing is wrong, just…don’t.” She gulped nervously before continuing. “What’s happening? W-Why do you need to talk to me about my filly?”

“Well…” Twilight began cautiously, “I’m sure you’re aware that I’m friends with your daughter?”

“S-She talked to me about…h-how you were trying to help her get her cutie mark,” Summer said slowly, clearly not seeing where this was going.

“It’s just…oh gosh, there really is no easy way to put this. Please don’t feel offended by this, Miss Shade, but Hunter and I have been a bit worried about Scootaloo…particularly concerning her life at home.”

“W-What?” Summer straightened up in her seat, her panic steadily growing. “W-Why would you be worried? Did she do something? What happened?”

“Miss, nothing happened,” I assured once again. “I mean, well not nothing, but-“

“Hunter!” Twilight hissed. Summer’s face completely fell, and she looked an inch away from shattering.

I’m not very diplomatic, am I? I desperately tried to recover from that lapse in judgement, my voice becoming nearly as frantic as the mare’s had been.

“Nothing dangerous! Nothing bad! That’s not what I meant!” I promised as quickly as my mouth would allow. The mare sighed raggedly in relief again. I swear, I am taking so many years off of this poor mother.

“I’m so sorry for that. Just…nothing bad. Nothing to worry about. I was just referring to how Scootaloo’s been acting recently.”

“H-How she’s been…wait…wait a minute…” Summer adopted an intensely thoughtful look before giving me a somewhat accusing one. “What would you know about how she’s been acting?”

I recoiled a bit at the look, and the odd question as well, but answered it nonetheless.

“I’ve been chaperoning her and her friends for the past few months, and she’s-“

“What?!?”

To be frank, Summer’s shout scared the ever living shit out of me. I certainly wasn’t expecting anything that violent from such a shrinking violet. I was surprised she didn’t break any windows. She jumped out of the armchair, flying up to me until we were almost nose to nose. I shrunk back into the couch, but she flew further forwards.

“You?! You’ve been chaperoning MY daughter? MY daughter?!?” she yelled in my face.

“M-Miss Shade, c-compose yoursel-“Twilight began, shocked.

“No!” Summer shouted, cutting Twilight off. She turned back to me and stared right into my eyes, her violet iris’ suddenly looking far less comforting than before. “Answer the question!”

“Y-Yeah, I-“

That was all Summer needed. She pushed herself back a bit, and landed behind the coffee table. She pointed a hoof to where we had entered the room.

“G-Get out!” she barked shakily.

I stared back at the mare, frozen, uncomprehending of her sudden and violent outburst. As I stared, there was one very notable thing that didn’t escape my eyes, and those were her own.

They still held that trepidation, that worry. If anything, it was even further exaggerated now, despite her apparent fury. The stark contrast was startling, almost more than her outburst itself.

Twilight got off of the couch and stepped in front of where I sat defensively.

“Miss Shade, I don’t know wh-“

“Princess Twilight, I-I mean no disrespect, but if you don’t get it out of my house right now, I-I will,” Summer threatened. I couldn’t see Twilight’s face, but I imagined she was looking at Summer in some mix of shock and contempt.

“I just-“I tried to say, only to be shot down.

“You!” Summer screamed, pointing violently. “I f-forbid you from being near my daughter! Don’t touch her, don’t speak to her, don’t even think about her!”

“I-“

“Don’t you dare test me!” she screamed shrilly. “Get. Out. Of. My. HOUSE!!!” She emphasized each word with a violent gesture to the exit of the room.

“But-“

“GET OUUUUT!!!”

Her scream disturbed me to an extreme level. I’ve never heard anybody make a noise with such force. It sounded like a scream reserved for cries of bloody murder. It was more desperate than anything I’ve ever heard in my life.

Summer’s broken, frail, unsteady eyes were the last things I saw in that house. Twilight’s horn glowed brightly, and I suddenly found myself in Twilight’s castle. Yeah, it was really that sudden. Screaming psycho mare one second, newly decorated throne room the next. It was really jarring, so much so that I fell onto my back, extremely disoriented and a bit nauseous.

Seriously, fuck magic.

My head fell to the side on the floor, I just laid there, what had just happened in Scootaloo’s home still taking a moment to sink in.

I heard the clopping of hooves against the crystal floor as Twilight trotted up to me.

“Hunter? Hunter? Are you okay? I-I’m sorry, I just panicked and…I-I had to get you out of there. That mare was acting insane.”

“Why…here?” I said weakly, still trying to get my head together.

Twilight was quiet for a moment, as if she was just now realizing that we were in her castle.

“It was instinctual, like a reflex. I wanted to go somewhere I felt safe. Somewhere you could be safe. Oh, but I shouldn’t have teleported that suddenly. Hunter, really, are you okay? We still haven’t really worked out how magic affects you, and I don’t want to-“

“Twilight, I’m fine. Just a little woozy.”

I sluggishly got to my feet and vaguely noticed that there was a giant series of tree roots growing out of Twilight’s ceiling. Honestly, it was the last thing I was thinking about. There was a long silence between me and Twilight, both of us letting what had just happened to sink in.

“…Do you want to talk about it?” Twilight asked softly. I shook my head slowly. My mind was both abuzz and asleep at once, all of the thoughts running through it too much for it.

“N-No, it’s…I just need to think for a while. Twilight, you have guest rooms around here, right?” I asked, my hand held to my forehead. “In all honesty, I-I think I’m selling the effect of that teleport on me a bit short. I-I just need to lie down.”

“Y-Yeah, of course, sure,” Twilight said, worried for me. She lightly bit the hand I had at my side and led me out of the throne room and into the hallway, taking her time with me so as not to overwhelm me.

My first teleport was worse though. I may have thrown up. Profusely. You get used to it, I guess.

I don’t remember how long I was lethargically walking down that hallway with her leading me. I don’t remember which door she opened, or what it looked like. I know it had a bed. I know that because the first thing I did when we entered the room was lie down on the bed.

Twilight might have given me some words of assurance, but I just wasn’t focused on what was going on, what she was saying, or where we were.

I’d had a rough day. Next Chapter: Ain't That a Kick in the Head? Estimated time remaining: 19 Minutes