Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. My Little Pony belongs to Hasbro and Marik's Evil Council of Doom belongs to LittleKuriboh. I also don't own Anaconda.

Somewhere in a rock farm cellar...

"So, to answer your question, King Sombra, my favorite movie of all time is Anaconda because of how bloody it is." Sunset answered.

"Crystals!" Sombra said, sticking his tongue out in disgust.

"I know. I give it two hooves up." Sunset nodded.

"Silence!" Trixie commanded. "It's time for our annual meeting!"

"We can't start yet. Discord is still creating chaos outside." Sunset told her.

"Oh, I suppose we should just wait for him..." Trixie muttered.

"Yup." Sunset nodded.

"So, does anypony know any jokes?" Trixie asked

"Duh, could I go create chaos too?" Snails questioned.

"Oh, hey, Sunset. You should do your impression of Twilight." Trixie suggested.

"I don't have any impressions of Twilight." Sunset commented.

"Don't be so modest! It's [bleep]ing brilliant! Come on, we all want to hear it!" Trixie grinned.  "Isn't that right, my evil council of doom?"

"Not really." Tirek replied.

"Uh, no." Diamond Tiara said.

"Yeah, no." Silver Spoon added.

"I command you all to hear it!" Trixie snapped angrily.

"Uh, ok?" Diamond Tiara asked.

"That's right! You do as I command!" Trixie shouted.

"Well, since you put me on the spot..." Sunset muttered before clearing her throat. "Hello, everypony! I'm Twilight Sparkle! I think I'm better than everypony because I'm the princess and that I was Princess Celestia's student!"

"Ahahahahahaha! That's exactly what she sounds like!" Trixie laughed.

"You should do Trixie next." Diamond Tiara chuckled.

"Yeah, do her!" Silver Spoon added.

"What?! No! Nopony shall do an impression of me! I forbid it!" Trixie snapped.

"Come on, Trixie. It's just a bit of harmless fun." Sunset said.

"It won't be harmless when I stab you in the heart and drain all of the blood out of your body!" Trixie yelled.

"As you wish...neighsayer." Sunset smirked.

The council burst out into laughter at this.

"I never say that! Even if I did, I was making fun of you." Trixie yelled.

"I'm now pumped up for our meeting!" Discord declared as he teleported in.

"Yes, nothing says 'evil' like chocolate rain." Sunset said sarcastically.

"Enough! I call this meeting to order. King Sombra, as the group's secretary, I want you to transcribe everything we say." Trixie commanded.

"Crystals." Sombra nodded as he levitated a notepad and a pen.  

"Our first order of business is to discuss what went wrong with our last plan; it was an utter sham! Sham, I say! And that's a word I don't use often." Trixie explained.

"Well, I think--" Sunset began.

"Sham!" Trixie interrupted.

"Are you quite finished?" Sunset asked.

"Perhaps." Trixie answered.

"Well, I guess that it failed since Twilight and her friends never look at their HoofTube profiles. They spend their time saving Equestria." Snips explained.

"Is that so, Mr. Know It All? Then, why didn't you raise that point up at our last meeting?" Trixie asked.

"Well, YOU didn't give me any lines!" Snips retorted.

"Didn't I?! Well, then, let me do you a favor, buck tooth. Since you like talking so much, I'll let you choose what to say when I blow you up with my magic!" Trixie snapped.

"I never saw Prance!" Snips said before blowing up.

"Whoa, he just exploded and stuff." Diamond Tiara gasped.

"Yeah, it's like the time we tried to bake that cake in the toy oven." Silver Spoon nodded.

"Let this be a lesson to all of you: never question my evil plans! No matter how stupid they may be!" Trixie said.

"Actually, that was my plan." Sunset pointed out.

"Oh...well then, in that case, I'm sorry, Snips. Your complaints were true...Snips?" Trixie said.

"You killed him! You killed my best friend! You monster!" Snails sobbed before leaving.

"Yes, I suppose I did...oh well." Trixie shrugged. "On to the next matter! I would like to introduce you all to the newest member of our council!"

"Hello, everypony! My name is Sweetie Belle!" Rarity's sister greeted.

"You invited a filly into our council? Really, Trixie? I would expect this sort of thing from Discord, but not from you." Sunset groaned.

"It's not the filly I'm interested in, it's...the doll." Trixie smiled evilly.

"The doll?" Sunset asked.

"Yes, with that doll on our side, nothing can stop us! Not even Twilight and her friends!" Trixie answered.

"Trixie, have you been drinking too much cider again?" Sunset questioned.

"No! And it was only one time! Let it go already!" Trixie replied.

"Say hello to the nice ponies, Smarty Pants." Sweetie Belle told her doll.

"I WILL SWALLOW YOUR SOULS!!!" Smarty Pants shouted.

"See?! See how utterly evil it is?! Truly it is an abomination!" Trixie pointed out.

"Awwww, look at her little button eyes! I wanna hug her!" Tirek squealed.

"TOUCH ME AND DIE, UNCLEAN ONE!!" Smarty Pants growled.

"It's so precious. I want a doll like that." Tirek said.

"YOUR DEATHS SHALL NOT COME SWIFTLY! YOU WILL SUFFER MY UNENDING WRATH!!!" Smarty Pants threatened.

"Everypony, shut the [bleep] up! I command you all to stop acting like foals!" Trixie commanded.

"I'm a filly, I can't help it." Sweetie Belle protested.

"Hello there, little filly. Would you like to have some cotton candy clouds?" Discord asked.

"Discord, stop trying to be a pervert and help me think of a plan to defeat Twilight and her friends! A plan so evil that not even the foulest organizations can come up with it!" Trixie snapped.

"You mean Hasbro?" Sunset questioned.

"I was trying to be subtle, but yes, that was who I meant." Trixie responded.

"WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAB THEM IN THEIR FACES WITH KNIVES?!" Smarty Pants asked.

"I suggested killing them in the last video. Newbie..." Sunset grumbled.

"I'M WAITING TO FEAST ON YOUR CORPSE!" Smarty Pants snarled.

"Little filly, can you PLEASE control your doll?!" Sunset scolded Sweetie Belle.

"Fluffy Tail!!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

"My tail is NOT fluffy!" Sunset growled.

"Oh, shut up, Fluffy Tail. We need to think of a plan: something sadistic." Trixie said.

"We could, like, throw a bunch of dynamite sticks into Twilight's castle." Silver Spoon suggested.

"Or send them a bunch of prank phone calls." Diamond Tiara added.

"How's that going to defeat Twilight and her friends?" Trixie asked.

"I don't know." Diamond Tiara shrugged.

"Yeah, we're just here to look for blank flanks to pick on." Silver Spoon added.

"Oh right...I forgot what you two do all the time..." Trixie muttered.

"BLANK FLANK!" Diamond Tiara shouted at Sweetie Belle.

"Hey, stop that!" Sweetie Belle yelled back.

"Your mother is a blank flank!" Trixie retorted.

"YOUR MOTHER PLAYS BATTLE CLOUDS IN TARTARUS!!!" Smarty Pants yelled.

"I know, that's because she died when I was a filly!" Trixie snapped as the phone rang.

"Oh..." Smarty Pants said while the phone kept ringing.

"Just a second, let me get the phone." Trixie told them, levitating the phone. "Yes, what the [bleep] is it?!"

"Hello there. Is your refrigerator running?" Chrysalis asked on the other end.

"I don't have a [bleep]ing refrigerator! I'm an evil mastermind who lives in a [bleep]ing cellar in a [bleep]ing rock farm for [bleep]'s sake! Why would I need a refrigerator?!?!" Trixie snapped.

"Well, you better go and catch it!" Chrysalis exclaimed before hanging up.

"What?!?! What the [bleep] is that supposed to mean?!" Trixie demanded.  "Oh, I see, that was a prank call. Well, you'd have to get pretty early in the morning to make me look bad, neighsayer!"

"I told you she said it." Sunset commented.

"Shut up, Fluffy Tail!" Trixie yelled.

Meanwhile....

"Curses! My cunning plan to fool Trixie into thinking her refrigerator was running has been foiled! We shall have to think of another strategy! Isn't that right, my evil siren henchponies?" Chrysalis sighed in annoyance.

"We can't hear you, boss! We're too busy singing!" Sonata called out.

"Curse you and your singing!" Chrysalis yelled.

"Zug, Zug." Aria said.

Back in Trixie's lair...

"I have an idea, Trixie. Why don't you use the Alicorn Amulet to control Twilight and her friends? You know, so they can defeat themselves?" Sunset suggested.

"You fool! Don't you know that the Alicorn Amulet can't control multiple ponies at once?! It only works on one pony! Why do you think why the rest of Ponyville wasn't under my control?" Trixie snapped.

"Wait a minute, if  that's true, how did it work on you?" Sunset asked.

"Do I need to repeat myself again?" Trixie demanded.

"No..." Sunset grumbled.

"Look, I don't make the rules! I just followed what the rules were from the creator of the Alicorn Amulet." Trixie pointed out.

"I knew him." Discord smirked.

"Why does this not surprise me? Look, one of us must have said something that would help us defeat Twilight and her friends. Sombra, pass me the transcript of the meeting." Trixie commanded.

"Crystals!" Sombra said, levitating the transcript to Trixie.

"Let's see...WHAT?! This just says 'crystals' over and over again! I told you to write down everything we were saying!" Trixie snapped.

"Crystals!" Sombra exclaimed.

"Enough! You're fired, Sombra! Get out of here!" Trixie yelled.

"Crystals..." Sombra grumbled.

"Now that's taken care of, let's celebrate by watching Anaconda!" Sunset declared.

"Great idea!" Trixie grinned.

One movie rental later...

"Wow, there's a lot of blood in this movie. Is that his intestines?" Trixie asked.

"Yes, Trixie. Those are his intestines. Can you please be quiet?" Sunset grumbled.

"Is it going to kill that mare?" Trixie questioned.

"Shut up, Trixie!" Sunset snapped.

"We should've rented a comedy..." Trixie grumbled in annoyance.

"Ugh..." Sunset groaned as she facehoofed herself.

"Just how much blood does that mare have?" Trixie asked.