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Lyra's Human 2: Derpy's Human

by pjabrony

Chapter 66: 63: The Longest Derp of the Year

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“Good morning, Karyn. You’re looking quite well today.”

“Thanks. I got up extra early today to do my hair and put on my makeup.”

Derpy stopped in the middle of putting her spell back in the bag. “Any particular reason?”

Karyn tapped her fingers nervously. “No,” she said.

“Good, then my secret is safe.”

“What secret?”

“Um…where’s my forget spell?”

Karyn laughed. “OK, we’ll both confess to each other. I’ll go first.”

Derpy nodded.

“So I’ve been really lazy about getting ready to go to class or even just to run errands. And I felt like that I should break the habit and make myself presentable.”

“You’ve been going out looking slovenly? You shouldn’t—well, you’re not Dinky. I suppose it’s your right. You’re a growing girl, and besides, you said that you broke the habit.”

Karyn got even more nervous. “Well, I haven’t looked bad. The fact is that I’ve been using my changeling powers to change into myself, only dressed up. Do you think that’s wrong?”

“I honestly don’t know. But wait, how do I know that you didn’t do that today?”

“I don’t think you can. Unless you want to take me to Equestria and have Dinky tell you if it’s me or not.”

Derpy was still anxious, having not revealed her secret. “If you tell me that you did it the hard way, I’ll trust you. We’re good friends.”

“Thank you.”

“Plus I can see your makeup tray still left out in the bathroom. “

Karyn grunted. “I wish I had the power to disguise my room instead of myself.”

“Well, if ponies ever encounter a strange race that can alter their surroundings and plot to invade Earth, and then you wind up making friends with their queen while stopping the invasion, I’ll make sure that she doesn’t give you any powers, just so I can make sure you’re still keeping it tidy.”

“Yeah, you do that. If I’m ever feeling really courageous, I’ll go out naked with only my magic to conceal me.”

Derpy, of course, didn’t see anything particularly brave about that.

“All right, so what’s your secret today?” asked Karyn.

“Today in Equestria is a special celebration. It’s—“

“Hey, it is!” Karyn looked at her calendar. “The longest day of the year!”

“That’s right. And by special invitation of the princess, we are going to the celebration. I think it’s for all the services we’ve done for Equestria.”

“I guess. Where’s it being held? Is it in Ponyville again? Or some exotic city that I get to see for the first time?”

Derpy was confused. “In Ponyville?”

“Yeah, don’t they move the ceremony each year to a different town? The time they held it in Ponyville and Twilight Sparkle had to stop Nightmare Moon from bringing the night seemed to imply that that was a special benefit for the town.”

“Oh, no. Actually I think that Princess Celestia just set that whole thing up for Twilight. So she would go there and meet her friends and deal with Nightmare Moon. But every year it’s in Canterlot.”

“I see,” said Karyn. “But that’s why you were surprised that I dressed up, because you were afraid that I had somehow found out about it.”

“Exactly. So, one quick stop over at the house, and we’ll be on our way. Hop on.”

Karyn wasn’t wearing her best outfit, but she thought that it was fitting to go to an event which was no more than the sun rising anyway. That triggered a thought. “Hey, Derpy. Is this thing going to go on all night?”

“Yeah, there’ll be partying all night. If you really don’t think you can make it, we can duck out early. But we should put in an appearance.”

Because of Karyn’s finals schedule, she had the next day off, and could afford to put in a late night and sleep away the next day. She got onto Derpy’s back, to watch her reverse her actions and open her saddlebag.

Derpy did not need a long time at home, only enough to feed the cat and water a plant, but instead of heading out again, she waited with Karyn for the next part of the surprise, which arrived a moment later, heralded by the knock of a hoof against the door.

Karyn opened it, and was faced with the surprised look that ponies always wore when seeing her for the first time, though it disappeared faster than usual. The pony that wore the expression also wore the uniform of a royal guard, though his coat was dark gray. Karyn wondered if they selected based on stallions who had neutral-colored coats or if they were required to dye them.

“Ms. Derpy Hooves and guest?” The guard had a gruff voice.

“Karyn Hubert of Earth.”

“Your chariot awaits.”

Derpy walked back in. “Did we order a chariot?” asked Karyn.

“Like I said, special invitation of the princess.”

They walked out to the chariot and entered through a swinging door. If the charioteer didn’t know that a human was coming, whoever had prepared the vehicle did, since a high couch had been installed, tall enough for Karyn to see over the sides, while still leaving enough room for Derpy to stand and lean.

The ponies pulling the chariots were Earth ponies, and that surprised Karyn, since she thought that pegasi were the only ones who could pull people into Canterlot.

Driving through Ponville, being pulled by the stout stallions was like riding in a convertible. The wind blew Karyn’s hair, and as she looked over, Derpy’s mane was flowing too. It occurred to Karyn that Derpy’s mane always seemed to fall back into place no matter how fast she flew, and credited it to some unknown pegasus magic. In her case, she counted on the hairspray she had used that morning.

At the edge of Ponyville, it was indeed a pair of pegasi that took the chariot over and pulled them up to Canterlot. There, another team of Earth ponies strapped themselves in.

“Is this how the chariots always work?” asked Karyn.

“I don’t think so. But on a day like today, they’ve probably got so many ponies to pull in from all over that they set up a system like the trains, with locals and expresses.”

The Canterlot team moved much slower than the Ponyville team had. They let Karyn and Derpy se the streets of Canterlot, but from their experience, the slow parade was more to show them off to the gawking ponies in the street.

As they neared the castle, they had to make way for a larger chariot carrying a family of a dozen unicorns, all dressed in the heights of fashion, who drew the gawkers away. Derpy in particular looked at their finery, but saw a few fillies still looking at them.

“Karyn?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think that you might like it better if ponies didn’t stare at you?”

Karyn thought about it. “I know that I’m different. I’m long used to it.”

“But if you wanted, now. You could look like a pony. You could blend in.”

“No, I’m not going to do that.”

Derpy turned toward her in the chariot. “Are you sure? You have those powers now.”

“Listen. I know that every time you have to go invisible on Earth, even if you don’t mind, I do. I wish that my species could be a little more open-minded and not freak out just because there’s something they don’t understand. Ponies are different. Even if they look at me funny, and even if a few of them act differently when we talk to them, still none of them have actually tried to do anything that would hurt me. Almost none of them, and Princess Celestia wouldn’t let the ones who wanted. So I’m not going to hide from them. I’m human, and everypony’s going to know about it.”

“Hmm. I don’t know if I’d be the same. I’ve always tried to blend in. Maybe that’s why Queen Chrysalis didn’t make me a changeling.”

Karyn mumbled, “More like because she doesn’t like you.”

They arrived at Canterlot Castle. The entrance that they were pulled into reminded Karyn of a hotel crossed with the castle at Disneyworld. The ornate round archways on either side of the inner road let them into a covered section where the stallions could drop them off and be on their way. Karyn and Derpy thanked them and walked past the wooden doors. As they entered, Karyn ran her hand along the stone of the door frame.

“Do you know what the castle is made of?”

“Huh? No.”

“Because it’s nicer than any building I’ve seen on Earth,” said Karyn. “I’d say that we could try to ask Princess Celestia, but I’m sure that she’ll be too busy with the celebration to talk to us.”

“You never know. She does like to mingle.”

“Maybe. She only has one thing to do at this party, right?”

Derpy stopped and looked at her. Other arrivals shuffled past them. “What one thing?”

“Raising the sun. This is the Summer Sun Celebration, isn’t it?”

“What? No! The Summer Sun Celebration involves staying up all night. I would never do that to you. This is the Summer Moon Celebration.”

Karyn pursed her lips. “Is that anything other than where we party all day and then watch Princess Luna raise the moon? In other words, exactly the same as the Summer Sun Celebration, just nine hours earlier?”

“And centering around raising something different. But no, no more differences.”

“Great, then let’s find the party.”

They followed the crowd up stairs and through hallways to an elaborate ballroom. Many stayed and lingered in the ballroom, but Karyn and Derpy followed a gulf stream of ponies that made their way around the edge of the room to another hallway. This seemed to be the right thing to do, as the guards in the hallway turned away some ponies after checking their ticket, but took one look at Karyn and waved them through.

Even then the crowd thinned out as some ponies were escorted off to waiting rooms, or proved themselves to be helpers at the party and not guests. In the end they found themselves, neither hindered nor encouraged, behind a pegasus couple that was let into a tower with a spiral staircase. The couple went into a private room for about five minutes, after which the door opened and an ethereal voice said, “Enter.”

The room was decorated in deep blacks and purples, yet there seemed to be plenty of light to see by, since it was daytime, and because of the glow coming from the mane and tale of the alicorn seated in the middle. It was Princess Luna herself.

Karyn had always found Princess Celestia to be personable, if a little aloof, but she had no idea of how to act around Luna. She looked to Derpy for clues, but finding the same fear in her eyes, decided to improvise and bowed to the princess. She heard Luna inhale and speak, and she prepared her ears to be assaulted.

“Hey, how y’all doin’”

Karyn came up out of her bow. Derpy was already looking at her. Princess Luna had not noticed their surprise.

“So, like, Tia has been telling me all about you. A pegasus and a human, how cool is that? And I’m all like, can I meet them? And Tia’s all like, that’s totes an awesome idea, but cause I’m all about being a night pony, scheduling has just been a massive tangle, you know? But then I say, hey, I got this cool party upcoming, why not get D and K around here and I’ll bring them up to my tower and we’ll dish like fillies!”

Derpy said, “To dish means to have food together.”

Luna turned to her nightstand and opened it magically, floating out a piece a paper. “Oh, dear. Our sister has been attempting to coach Us in the parlance of the vulgate. And yet, We find that there is so much to remember.”

Karyn decided to go for broke. She stood up, walked over to Luna, and put her hand on her shoulder. “You don’t have to try so hard. Believe me, I’m much more nervous meeting the Princess of the Night than you are meeting a human.”

“You…you understand?”

“Yes. If you just drop the ‘We’ thing, you’ll be ninety percent of the way to fitting in.”

Luna threw her hooves around Karyn’s neck. At her size, it was a much tighter squeeze than when Derpy did the same thing. “I actually know that. It’s just so hard to remember everything.”

Derpy came over and joined the group hug. “You should come and see ponies more often, Princess. You’re really nice, but some ponies think you’re a little scary.”

“I know. It is simply the reputation I have to carry. But let us descend to the party below, so that our absence is not noted.”

“When you say ‘us’ and ‘our’?”

Luna winked. “If I can, I like to include others in speaking. That way I don’t have to check my pronouns.”

They walked down the long staircase, but somehow on the way Karyn and Derpy managed to lose track of Princess Luna. As they reentered the ballroom, though, there was a crash of thunder which silenced the assembled ponies. A sphere of darkness grew, and there was Luna standing in the middle of it.

“She makes a great entrance,” said Karyn.

Now addressing the crowd, Luna did use her projecting voice. “Fillies and Gentlecolts. I welcome you to this celebration of our land and our selves. Since my return from exile several years ago, I have seen a marked change in Equestria and her ponies. The friendship and love that you have for each other, for the other denizens of the realm, and even for those who come from without, is clear in all of your eyes.”

Derpy and Karyn were enraptured by Princess Luna’s speech, but the other ponies seemed to have tuned her out and were returning to their party. A few more snack foods were consumed, and at the far end of the room, quiet conversation started up again. Nopony could hope to speak over Luna’s voice, but at the same time, she could not hear that they were talking either.

Luna did notice, though, and she faltered in her speech. “We, er…I just can’t express how much I appreciate—”

Karyn watched her stumbling, and felt embarrassed for her. Grabbing Derpy, she ran toward the stage where Luna overlooked the crowd. As soon as she saw Luna’s head turn to see her, she held Derpy’s hoof tight and nodded. Luna nodded back and resumed speaking in her regal voice.

“I am proud to rule, with my sister, over a land where everypony is free to do as they please, even to IGNORE us.”

Her forceful word caught the attention of those who had turned away, and she had the crowd again. Fearful of losing them once more, she wrapped up.

“And so, please enjoy this soiree as you await the rising of that most beautiful of heavenly orbs, the Moon!”

Derpy stomped her hooves on the ground to start a round of applause, and Karyn’s sharper hand-claps cut through the low bass of the stomping to draw attention. But Princess Luna was happy with the reception, and bowed toward Karyn.

Derpy whispered to her, “You really made an impression on Luna. Now you’ve got one princess solidly on your side, whatever Celestia thinks of you.”

“They’ve both always been nice, but yeah, Luna is special. All the humans who know about ponies tend to pick her as a favorite.”

The remainder of the party passed without incident. Karyn clung closely to Derpy, but she was able to hold some fun conversations with some of the Canterlot ponies who were not so aloof. The food was tasty, but there was never a formal sit-down dinner, so Derpy had to content herself with frequent bites of whatever was passed around. Karyn assured her that this would help her stay on her diet.

As daylight waned, Derpy and Karyn found themselves once more near the stage where Princess Luna was stationed. Perhaps by some internal clock, she put her head down and said, “It is time for the crowning event. I shall begin the raising of the moon.”

“Princess,” said Derpy. “How are you going to get everyone’s attention? Or will they just be idle during your ceremony just like they were for your speech?”

“Fear not, my little pony. I believe that I have a method to both facilitate everypony’s view, and induce them to watch.”

In the din of conversation, Princess Luna’s tinkling magic could not be heard, but soon all there was was a collective gasp, as all the outer walls and the ceiling of the ballroom turned transparent. Karyn walked over and put her hand where the wall had been. She still felt the stone of the castle, but the clearest glass or plastic still looked muddy next to it. When she removed her hand, there were no fingerprints left.

The red rays of the sun faded into black, and for a moment the stars were the only light source in Equestria. Luna turned away from the crowd and concentrated. The sheer intensity that Karyn saw on her face was like nothing she had ever felt. Her entire being was put into the spell.

From the horizon shone a pale gray light that reminded Karyn of Derpy’s coat. The resemblance was heightened when the moon itself broke the plane and lifted into view, showing its craters that stood in for Derpy’s cutie mark. When the circle was complete and no part remained hidden, Derpy and Karyn joined the gasp.

For Princess Luna had not just raised the moon. She had brought forth what in Karyn’s world was called a Supermoon, that appeared large and low in the sky. Not a single shadow at either edge could be seen, and it hung full, a beacon that all ponies would look up to throughout the night.

All the ponies stared, but none longer than Derpy, who held Karyn in her wings. Tears were welling in her eyes.

“Are you all right?” asked Karyn.

“It’s just so beautiful. You know, I’m not much of a night pony, and I don’t look up at the stars or the moon much. Maybe I should.”

She returned the embrace, and they sat by the clear wall, just watching the sky. The moon continued its ascent through inertia, with only the occasional prod from Luna’s horn. A few minutes later the sounds of the party started up again, but Karyn didn’t notice for a while. When she did, she leaned in to Derpy and spoke in a low voice.

“You know, I wonder if the ponies here in Equestria really appreciate how lucky they are. What we just saw was a kind of miracle. An entire world moved at the whim of one mare. I find it hard to think about anything else, but everypony else is just going about their business.”

Princess Luna was on the other side of the room, but she cantered over and sat next to Karyn. “Don’t feel bad about it. I no longer do.”

“You could hear us?”

“The ears of a princess are especially attuned to things that she needs to hear. Most of the discussions here are banal. But I would fain let your happiness from my presentation be marred by doubt. No more do I suffer from envy over my sister’s day. If ponies choose to take me for granted, it is my place as a princess to serve them nonetheless. And then, when somepony like Miss Hooves does appreciate me, it is all the sweeter.”

Derpy switched her hug from Karyn to Luna. “I definitely appreciate you.”

With another pulse of her horn, the three of them found themselves back in Luna’s tower. “I wish to make one more proclamation to each of you, and I do not think that anypony downstairs needs to hear it. Derpy Hooves, my sister has told me of your dedication and devotion, both before and after you brought Karyn into this world. Your filly is also of great service to the realm. I salute you as a shining example of what it means to be an Equestrian.”

“I’m just an ordinary pegasus.”

“Would that every pegasus had your heart. And more than a few unicorns and Earth ponies as well,” said Luna. “As for you, Karyn Hubert, that you see our land with fresh eyes gives me a new perspective. Whenever tales of your exploits come to my ears, I revel that Equestria is welcoming of guests, and that its guest is of such quality. Princess Celestia is still the nominal ruler of the land, but from whatever power I have, I consider you a citizen of Equestria no less than the newest born pony.”

Karyn didn’t know what to say, but managed to choke out, “Thank you.”

“I must return to the affair, but I know that you would return to your own world now.”

“Yes, I have things to do tomorrow, but…I hope that I will see you again.”

Princess Luna smiled. “My heart assures me that we will speak in the future. Farewell till then.”

Derpy knelt before the princess, which also let Karyn mount up for the trip home.

Back on Earth, Karyn found herself worn out by the long party, and planned to catch up on sleep during the day. “Besides,” she said. “I want to see the moon again tonight.”

Author's Notes:

Does anypony like previews? I think you do!

Everypony has their own problems. In any case, however sad you are about it being the last time for something, wait until it’s over to be sad. There’s no sense wasting it.”

Karyn brightened. “You’re right. And speaking of problems, how’d you like to help me pack up?”

“If I don’t, you’ll only throw everything in a box and it’ll be all out of order.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I keep my own budget and everything.”

“Really? I’d like to see that.”

“Maybe when it shows better numbers,” said Karyn. “Come on, let’s go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’ll be right back. Bathroom.”

Figuring that indeed the toilet would be the most convenient place, she ran upstairs and opened the window. As she hoped, Derpy came up to her.

“So, what about it? Am I getting a lot of muffins?”


Be sure to read that one too. Derpy Hooves says!

Next Chapter: 64: Block Derpy Estimated time remaining: 25 Hours, 42 Minutes
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