“Morning, Karyn!” Derpy said as the after-effects of the transport spell faded.

“Morning, Derpy.”

“Morning, Karyn’s desk! Morning, Karyn’s lamp. Morning, Karyn’s computer which is no longer sentient but I will include in my list of things to say good morning to anyway!”

Karyn laughed. “You really are a friendly pony, aren’t you?”

“I feel I’ve become quite intimate with this room over the past few weeks.”

“Is that your subtle way of letting me know that you want a change of scenery?”

“Oh no, Karyn! I try not to play games like that. Not that I wouldn’t mind getting out and about, but I don’t drop hints. Letters, flower pots, the odd piano, but never hints,” Derpy said.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind some fresh air myself. Back to Equestria then?”

“Well, I was wondering. . . “ Derpy swung one hoof back and forth, which Karyn had learned to interpret as her being indecisive.

“Yes?”

“Can we maybe go out into the human world today?”

“Oh, Derpy, I don’t know. There are just so many things that could go wrong,” said Karyn.

“But so many ponies, after last week’s game, were asking me what the human world was like, and I didn’t have a whole lot to tell them.”

“How are we going to avoid notice?”

“I’ve got an invisibility spell. No humans will see me!”

“Hmm. . . I don’t know,” said Karyn. “You’ll be invisible, but what if you bump into someone?”

“I’ll stay in the air above everyone’s head! Please!”

“OK, we’ll go out and do something. I’d just really like it to be a place where there aren’t a whole lot of people milling about who could knock into you anyway.”

Derpy had ignored everything after Karyn had said OK and was rummaging through her bag for the right spell, dumping out rejects all over the place. Karyn picked up one and looked at it.

“Derpy? Will the magic work only for you? You know that there’s no magic on Earth, but I’ve always wanted to do some, ever since I was ten and didn’t get to go to Hogwart’s.”

Derpy was still pawing through and muttering to herself. “Spell to keep warm. . . no. Infinite muffin spell. . . save that for later. Spell to allow you understand when human makes reference to something I haven’t read, don’t need that. Aha! Got it.” Holding up one of the hoof-covering items she turned back to Karyn. “You want to try one? I don’t see why not. That one you’ve got is a recorder spell. You activate it and later you can see exactly what went on. Which disappointed me, because I thought it would play a melody on a wooden flute.”

Karyn put her hand into the spell and found the three nubs inside. By fully stretching her fingers she was able to force enough pressure to turn them. A bubble came out of the spell and filled the room.

“Woo-hoo! I am Karyn the Sorceress! Fear my powers as I weave my magic that’s perfectly harmless!”

Derpy laughed. “Oh that will be fun to re-watch later!”

“It’s on now? I didn’t want to save that! How does it erase?”

“Erase? Why would it do that?”

Karyn quickly pushed her hand in and reversed the spell, drawing the bubble back in. But then she perked her head up. “Hey! Let’s go to the movies!”

“What’s a movie?”

“It’s like a play. Sort of. They take a play and record it, but not magically, and then we can play it back when we want to see it.” Well, Karyn thought, that was a close enough explanation for Derpy.

“Ooh, a human play! I want to see it!”

“OK, let me check movie times on the internet.”

“Ah, allow me,” said Derpy. “I’m an expert on surfing the net, you know!”

“Heh, you sure are. Remind me to make you a Facebook page later on,” said Karyn, as she gave up her seat at the computer. Derpy took much longer than Karyn would have, but eventually got to a movie listing site. Karyn was patient, enjoying seeing her friend learn an unfamiliar task.

“OK I found the place to see it. But there’re a lot of shows. Which one should we go see?”

“I guess it doesn’t matter if this is your first one. We can see an action movie, which will have the easiest plot to understand, but a lot of loud explosions, or an indie rom-com, which will be easier to watch but harder to understand.”

Derpy bounced her head up and down, then said, “Let’s go see the one listed on top!”

Well, Karyn thought, it was an easier method for deciding than she usually had experienced with a group of friends or with her family. She packed her purse and got ready to head out the door.

“You ready?” she asked Derpy.

“Mm-hm.”

“Are you. . . forgetting something?”

“No, what?”

“Invisibility?”

“Oh, right.”

“Yeah, this is a good idea that totally isn’t going to backfire,” Karyn said to herself.

They headed out onto the street. Karyn could sense Derpy’s presence above her, but she felt that the ruse would fool anyone who didn’t know there was an invisible gray pegasus around. Which was a large plurality in her estimation. As they reached the corner they passed a pair of students engaged in a public display of affection.

“Ooh, can they do that?” Derpy said. The boy broke his kiss and looked at Karyn. “Beg your pardon?” he said with some anger in his voice.

Karyn decided to play dumb. “Oh, I’m sorry, I was just thinking out loud.”

Derpy chimed in from above. “But it was—“

Karyn raised her arms like she was stretching and grinned at the couple. She muttered in a singsong through her teeth, “Invisible, not inaudible!” The two gave her a weird look and then went back to making out as Karyn turned and headed the other way.

They made it to the theater without further incident. Karyn went up to the ticket booth and mistakenly asked for two tickets before correcting herself to one. Once inside, Derpy said, “Psst.”

“Yeah?”

“Is it OK that I came in without a ticket?”

“Maybe not, but put it ‘this way: you won’t be the only person to see a movie for free this year, not by a long shot,” Karyn said. “Plus they make all their money on the snacks anyway.”

Stepping up to the concession stand, Karyn ordered the large popcorn combo and paid over ten dollars for it. She muttered up to Derpy, “Should have bought snacks ahead of time and had you make those invisible so we could sneak them in. The prices are ridiculous!”

As they headed to where their movie was showing, Derpy asked, “Why did you buy snacks if they cost so much?”

“It’s tradition. I want you to get the full movie experience. That means overpaying for ridiculously unhealthy food, taking too many napkins out of revenge and then losing them all over the theater, then eating most of it before the movie even starts.”

Entering the darkened theater Karyn climbed the stairs while Derpy flew up behind her. “I had an uncle who worked on places like this once. He said the best place to sit was between the third and fourth speakers, as close to the middle as possible,” Karyn said.

“That makes sense,” said Derpy, and Karyn was a little pleased to show off her knowledge.

The show was a matinee and they had arrived early enough that they could get the seats that Karyn had wanted, and she sat down. “Derpy,” she said, “You can sit down if you like. If someone comes along I’ll tell them that the seat’s taken. It won’t even be lying.”

“No, it’ll be like sitting!”

She heard Derpy make a landing, then struggle with the chair. “These aren’t very comfortable. They’re built for humans,” she said.

“Oh, yeah. Lyra might like them, but you’re not used to sitting like that.”

“It’s all right, I’ll sit on the floor.”

“No!” Karyn said. “In the first place you can’t see from there and in the second, you don’t know what’s been dropped on there. You might never get back up! Just hold on a moment. If we’re lucky the armrest—yes, it lifts. Now you can crouch across the two seats pony-style.”

“OK, this is sorta comfortable.”

“Here, have some popcorn.”

“Karyn, the strap on this feedbag came off.”

“Huh? Oh, you’re meant to eat it with hands. But I guess I don’t mind if you do that pony-style as well.”

The lights dimmed and the first commercials came on, then an announcement to silence cell phones. Karyn reached into her purse and put hers on vibrate.

“Why did they say that?” asked Derpy.

“Because some people leave theirs on by accident, or will just talk during the movie.”

“That’s awfully rude!”

“I know—“

“To want to stop someone’s private conversation when everypony else is just sitting there watching! They need to learn some manners and get rid of that announcement.”

Karyn balked at that. Maybe it was a cultural difference, she thought, or maybe Derpy just being Derpy. She still thought that not talking on the phone during the movie was the polite thing to do, but she didn’t want to get into an argument.

The commercials gave way to movie trailers. Derpy oohed and aahed and the previews.

“These are movies they’re going to show in the future? Wow, maybe we could do this every week!” she said.

Yeah, and maybe I’ll be able to pay for it by hitting the lottery despite not playing it, Karyn thought. But she figured she’d try to find another way to steer Derpy clear of being a cinemaphile. “A lot of these trailers are better than the movies themselves,” she said. “And the ones that are good usually show you everything that you want to see right there.”

A production company logo came on the screen, the theater went completely dark, and the movie started.

It turned out to be a genre-hopping movie, switching from crime thriller to romance to action to special effects, and Karyn had trouble following the plot. She kept expecting Derpy to lean over and whisper, “Why did that guy kill that guy? I thought he was on their side,” or something similar, but she never did. Karyn found herself getting bored and not caring about the characters, and the most interesting thing about the experience was watching the popcorn disappear from the bucket into Derpy’s invisible mouth.

After ninety-nine minutes of this, the final one-liner was spoken and the credits began to roll. Everyone else began exiting, and Karyn stood up as well, telling Derpy that it was over.

“No, it’s not.” Derpy said. “They’re listing all the people who made it!”

If she’s never seen a movie at all, Karyn thought, this might be a novel experience. She sat back down and resigned herself to five more minutes of slow instrumental music while Derpy eagerly awaited to find out who the key grip was and what company catered the shoot.

At last they finished, and Karyn asked, “Can we go now?”

“Yeah, it’s over.”

“What did you think?” Karyn asked. “Or, wait, let’s get back to the dorm so we can talk without whispering.”

“But everyone left!”

“There’s still a projectionist there, and someone might come in. Let’s go.”

They made their way back to the dormitory. As Karyn threw her stuff down on the bed, she said, “So, what did you think of your first human movie?”

“Hang on, I’m fiddling with this spell,” came Derpy’s disembodied voice. “Ah, there,” she said, and popped back into view. Karyn was surprised to see a frown on Derpy’s face.

“Now just what the heck was that?!” Derpy said.

“You didn’t like it? It wasn’t the best example of a flick to show you, but—“

“I’ll say it wasn’t. The screenwriting was banal, the production design was amateurish, the cinematographer overlit everything, the composer I don’t think even read the script, the acting was wooden, none of the characters had a defined arc, and the editor must have been afraid that if he didn’t have a cut every half-second, they’d conclude that he wasn’t doing his job and fire him!”

Karyn was stunned for a moment, then burst out laughing. “Derpy, you got all that and you’ve never seen a movie before? You should go to one of the film studies classes on campus here. Actually, with all that you should teach one of the film studies classes here.”

“Well, watching it I could see the potential of the medium, but I just don’t see why it has to be abused so much. That one we saw has got to be a failure.”

“Probably not,” said Karyn. “They charge a lot of money per ticket, and they can reach all over the world to get viewers. Plus that movie, while not low-budget, couldn’t have cost more than twenty million. They’ll make money, even if most people don’t like it.”

“It just doesn’t seem right or fair,” said Derpy.

“Well, it’s not like we could do any better.”

“Karyn, that’s a great idea!”

“What is?”

“We’ll do better! We’ll make our own movie! You said you’re always short of money anyway, so if there are so many people out there willing to pay to see that, they’ll come running to see ours!” Derpy dashed off to Karyn’s desk and grabbed paper and a pencil. Holding the pencil in her mouth, she started to write. Karyn looked over and saw the first line: “INTERIOR: A college dormitory.”

“Whoa, whoa! Hold it!” Karyn cried. “We can’t just make a movie! Even if we did we couldn’t get it distributed! But thankfully that doesn’t matter since we have no way to actually produce one. No cameras, no actors, no sets. And we can’t get those because they all cost money. Which I don’t have. But thankfully even that doesn’t matter because neither of us knows how to write a movie.”

“I’m sorry, Karyn, did you say something? Never mind, here’s the start.”

Karyn looked over what Derpy handed her. It was indeed the opening scene of a movie, about a pegasus who had travelled far and found herself taking time to go to school and learn things she hadn’t as a filly. Karyn had no idea if it was good or not, or if it could actually be made into a movie, but she couldn’t help being impressed with the fact that Derpy had done it at all.

“Writing’s easy for you, huh?”

“Not really. Holding the pencil in my mouth and moving my head is tiring,” Derpy said.

“But you can think of what to say so fast! That’s the hard part!”

“No, that’s the easy part. You just say what it is you want to say.”

Once again Karyn was amazed at her friend’s abilities. Writing anything for her was a chore of poring over a blank paper until she figured out exactly what the right word was, then reading it back and having it sound horrible. But Derpy just said what it was she wanted to say.

“Anyway, it’s very nice that you could write this, but we can’t make it into a movie. They make them with a lot of equipment and a big crew, none of which we have,” she said.

“We have the recording spell you set off before. That’s how we’ll get it. And you and me will be the actors!”

Was she in high school drama class again? Karyn put her hand on Derpy’s shoulder and said, “But even if we did, it’s not on film then and people can’t see it.”

“Details, details! The important thing is to have fun! Now do you want to play the pegasus or the human?”

Karyn finally realized that Derpy was playing with her. She wanted to just shoot some scenes and enjoy play-acting together. Their personalities weren’t completely alike, she thought. Karyn was very serious and wanted to show Derpy the human world as though she were studying it. But this was Derpy Hooves, the pony who was never serious. She looked over the script and read some of the lines to herself. She would play along.

“Ok, Derpy, you set up the spell, I’ll learn these lines,” she said.

Derpy smiled and got busy. In a few minutes they were ready to go. Derpy looked at the room and said, “Something’s missing.”

“You mean, other than an actual set?”

“Yeah. I feel the need for some reason to have a folding cloth chair with my name on it.”

“Derpy, you are one crazy pony. Let’s start.”

“We’re set up. You start.

“Ahem. ‘Oh, Miss Ypred, do you really think that there’s anything that I, a mere human, could teach you, a pegasus who flies among the clouds?”

“’For certain, for though I have seen many lands,’ you’re doing great, keep it up! ‘I have never looked upon a creature such as you, not even on top of the highest mountain in Equestria!’” Derpy gestured with her hoof toward one wall.

“Derpy,” said Karyn, breaking character. “There’s no mountain over there.”

“We’ll fix it in post. Next line!”

“Oh jeez, I’m working with the Ed Wood of pegasi!”

They continued to shoot scenes until the light faded. After most of them, one or both burst out laughing. Sometimes they didn’t even finish before their straight faces faltered. At some point known only to her, Derpy declared that it was finished.

“You want to sit and watch it now?” she asked.

“Oh, no! I don’t actually want to see me doing all that!”

“I wish there were a way to edit it into what I had written down. Maybe something on the computer?”

Karyn thought for a moment, then shook her head for allowing herself to consider something so silly. “Not unless they have a magic-to-USB adapter. Although goodness knows they have adapters for everything else.”

“Well, maybe I’ll ask Twilight to see if she can’t make a spell for that too. And in the meantime we can show it to folks as is.”

“Derpy, I’m not sure I want anybody to see that, finished or not.”

“Anybody?” Derpy asked with a wry smile on her face. “Not ‘anypony’? Which means you’re OK with me showing it to the ponies back home?”

“Whoa! That’s not what I meant!”

“Too late! You didn’t specify ponies, so ponies can see it!” She grabbed the spell and flew up to the ceiling playing “keep-away.” Karyn made a half-hearted attempt to grab it.

“Come down!” she said. “It’s not fair to go flying up when I can’t!”

“It’s not fair for you to have hands either, but you don’t see my complaining!” Derpy stuck out her tongue, but then landed. “But all teasing aside, if you don’t want me to show it, I won’t.”

Karyn thought about it. Would it really be so embarrassing? Sure, they might laugh at her, but what was wrong with laughter? It did seem like something that she would have done as a child, but so what? Let the ponies think of her as immature. She’d been playing a game with them the week before, and that wasn’t the most dignified way to spend her time. Maybe being able to relax and be silly could be a sign of maturity.

“Well, I guess if you really want to, I don’t mind,” she said. “Just don’t try to build me up as a great actress. You know, some people say that the making of the movie isn’t nearly as important as the selling of the movie. How many bits are you going to charge?”

“Oh, I was just going to show it for free. Hopefully the first few who see it will tell others, and it will get popular from there.”

“Oh, dear. I’m going to be in Equestria’s first viral video! I’ll be like the Star Wars kid!”

Derpy was confused, and her face showed it.

“Never mind,” Karyn said. “I hope you can get lots of ponies to see it. Just not all at once.”

“Thanks, but even if not, it was fun to make. You want to come with me to show it off?”

“Oh, no! I can stand the thought of ponies watching me, but not the sight!”

“Do you mind if I go now, then? I’m kind of eager to get started.”

“Go ahead, Derpy. I’ll see you next week.”

After Derpy had gone back to Equestria, Karyn started to clean up and reminisced about seeing the movie and Derpy’s reaction. It had been a long day. But in between all the fun, she thought about going outside with Derpy more often. The invisibility spell was useful, but they needed some way to communicate so they could be out of doors and not embarrass themselves—well, just her—as they had that day.

There were two parts of the problem as she saw it. The first was how to explain a voice coming from nowhere, and the second was how to account for her voice talking to someone that no one could see.

Somepony that nopony could see, she corrected herself. And once she had the problem framed out, the solution became obvious.

******************************************

“Bwahaha! You can’t even keep your lines straight, Derpy!”

“I know! Writing the script was a lot easier than reading it.”

Derpy was showing her home movie to a few of her friends. Lyra, Bon-bon, and Spike were enjoying seeing the pratfalls of the human and the pegasus.

“This is really fancy magic,” said Bon-bon. “Once this gets going in Equestria, everypony’s going to be wanting to take recordings like this.”

“Yeah, but they won’t be as cool as this one!” Lyra replied. “Seeing a human room! How do they get the walls so straight?”

“I wondered that myself,” said Derpy.

“You’re always obsessed with the weirdest things about the humans, Lyra,” said Bon-bon. “They’re just regular folks like us.”

“You didn’t always think so,” said Lyra.

“All of you guys, shut up!” said Spike. “I’m trying to watch this thing. Bwaha! Derpy, you can’t even keep your balance! We’ve got to show everypony this.”

“I know. But Karyn told me I have to give it to one in particular. I’m going to see her next.”

Derpy turned off the spell and put it back in her bag. She said her good-byes and trotted out to a field where some ponies were having a dance. Awkwardly meandering through the crowd she reached the display with “DJ Pon-3” emblazoned on it in hot pink. She waited until the next song was going.

“Hey, Scratch!” she said, shouting so as to be heard. “I was hanging with my human friend today and she said that you should see the movie we made!”

“Yeah! Why me?!”

“Don’t know! But I’m sure she said it would be a Vinyl video! Almost entirely sure!”

“OK, I’ll see if I can use it!”

Vinyl activated the spell and put her microphone by it, but then kept shutting it off and restarting it, using it as sample fodder while mixing in other sounds. Derpy put her hoof up. “Um. . . that’s not how it’s supposed to. . . hey, are you listening?!” Oh well, at least something she had created was making ponies happy.

And that made her happy too.

Author's Notes:

And now the preview of next week's ep.

“You’re invited to a party!”

“Because you think I’m really swell?”

“Huh?”

“Never mind,” Karyn said, and she started to open the envelope. “So what’s this party for and why am I invited?”

“Don’t worry, you won’t be the center of attention like after the soccer game."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it’s a chance for a breakthrough in cutienomics,” said Scootaloo.

“Cutienomics?” asked Karyn.

“The study of cutie marks. That’s what we in the know call it.”

“And by ‘we,’ you mean ‘you’?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, I did invent the word. But there are plenty of other ponies who study it. At least two."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Say, Derpy? How did you get your cutie mark?” asked Karyn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that's all you're getting! Be sure to favorite the story to see each chapter as it comes out, or just come around every Wednesday night at 0:00 GMT! (It's early this week because I derped.)