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Lyra's Human 2: Derpy's Human

by pjabrony

Chapter 111: 107: Prejuderpce

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Karyn was ready bright and early for her day with Derpy, and she anticipated a relaxing time. It came, therefore, as a surprise that Derpy, in addition to her saddlebag full of spells, carried her blue mail sack on her other side. It was all the more disconcerting when she pulled a letter out of the bag and passed it to Karyn.

“Another letter for me? Maybe a party invitation like last time?”

“I wouldn’t know. Of course I don’t open the letters I’m given to deliver.”

Before she tore it open, Karyn had one other doubt. “Do you have any other mail that you’re behind on?”

“Nope! Now that you have that my route is officially complete.”

“Then why did you have to bring your whole mailbag?”

Derpy stared as if it were obvious. “Officially posted letters have to be officially delivered by an official carrier in an official receptacle.”

“But why?”

“It would be unofficial otherwise.”

Karyn decided that she was not going to win this one, and turned over the letter. Unlike the fancy paper that Princess Celestia used for mail, and even the exquisite calligraphy that was on the invitation to Sweetie Belle’s party, the letter bore only the word “KARYN” in sharp black lines that dug into the page. Even the loop of the R was a triangle, as though the writer could only make straight lines. She tore it open and read aloud.

“You are directed to return to Equestria and convey yourself to the Crystal Empire at once for an important assignment. I am sure you will want to bring that gray pony that you hang around with, and I suppose I have no objection. –Queen Chrysalis”

Derpy scowled. “She couldn’t even be bothered to learn my name.”

“It’s more than that. Who does she think she is to summon me? I don’t have to listen to her, and I have no intention of doing so.”

A smaller pink square fell from the back of the letter. She tried to grab it but it flitted to the ground. As she bent to pick it up she noticed that it smelled faintly of perfume. She again read aloud.

“Dear Karyn. I pre-read this letter, anticipating that Chrysalis would take the tone that she did. I apologize for her, but I urge you to please visit us anyway. She and I have long been in negotiations, but we are officially signing a peace treaty between ponies and changelings, and she insists that having another queen there is vital. So please come; it would make things go smoother. Yours truly, Princess Cadance of the Crystal Empire.”

“What are you going to do?”

Karyn sighed. “I’m going to be the bigger person and go. Besides, I do respect a summons from one of the princesses”

“You’ll change so that you’re bigger than Queen Chrysalis? That might tweak her nerves.”

“No, I meant…actually, I might do that.”

“On the other hoof,” said Derpy, her face falling, “you should probably be cautious and help as best you can. This is huge, if they can really pull off a peace treaty.”

“It will be interesting, since Queen Chrysalis can make it binding on her swarm. She seems to rule them with a strong will, if indeed there isn’t some magical or biological servitude. I feel sorry for the changelings.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I’m sure they’re suited to the underground environment, but it’s still not pleasant, although that may just be cultural bias. But that they can barely speak and have to do what they’re told by a selfish and haughty queen, that’s what makes me pity them.”

Derpy pressed her mailbag down to her side and reached for her other bag. “Well, if you’re going to go, then ‘that gray pony you hang out with’ is definitely coming. Let’s hurry up and get to Equestria, because time’s still moving there.”

“Right,” said Karyn as she mounted up. Once in Equestria, Derpy looked to her for direction. “Head to the train station, I guess. Hopefully, Princess Cadance will reimburse you for the cost of our tickets.”

“We could even buy first class, in that case. But it doesn’t feel honest. We’ll get the regular kind.”

Derpy swooped down to the station, only to find a throng of ponies waiting for a train. She shortcut to the ticket window and asked the pony behind, “By any chance is that train going to the Crystal Empire?”

“Yes, and…is that the human with you? Karyn?”

“It is.”

“Great! Now we can stop holding the train.” He let out a long whistle, and a porter who was himself a Crystal pony raced up to them.

“Right this way, please.”

Before they knew what was going on, Karyn and Derpy were led into a car with the Crystal Heart drawn on it, and only once there were other ponies permitted on their cars.

“Well, this makes me feel awkward,” said Karyn. “I’m glad that Cadance thought ahead, but I hope she didn’t know what a fuss they would make. Everypony else shouldn’t have to be delayed for me.”

The porter entered the car again. “Ladies, Princess Cadance has told me to get you anything you like. I have some fruit baskets and chocolates for you, and I can provide any sort of personal service you name.”

Karyn shook her head. “Please distribute the fruit and chocolates among the passengers with the message that the person in the fancy car didn’t intend this, and that I apologize.”

He opened his mouth as though he wanted to upbraid her, but he followed her instruction.

Once he was out the door, Derpy let out a laugh that began slowly and grew.

“What’s so funny?” asked Karyn.

“Just that I’m finally seeing this from the other side. It brought up a memory.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Remember when Princess Celestia had to temporarily make me the princess because of the fancy ponies who wanted to do research on you? But I didn’t know it at the time? All the crazy rituals that go with VIP treatment really make your head swim, but you kind of laughed it off. I see why now. It’s a lot easier to laugh at when it’s not you.”

Karyn looked askance. “Fair enough. If I made you feel bad back then, I apologize. But right now I intend to just crash on one of these couches and relax.”

“Now that’s the kind of VIP treatment I can get on board with!”

They suited the deed to the word and made small talk for much of the journey. Only once did the officious Crystal pony return to ask if they needed anything, and Karyn told him that they didn’t, but that they would ask Princess Cadance to provide him with a large bonus if he agreed to give them some quiet time.

The train was an express, or else it had been directed to bypass scheduled stops for Karyn’s convenience, and that was something she had no control over. In any case, they reached the Crystal Empire soon, only to find another Crystal pony, in bearing a brother to their onboard servant, holding a sign reading, “Karyn, Human of Earth and Derpy Hooves.”

Two mares-in-waiting flanked him, and before Karyn and Derpy could speak to each other and discuss trying to avoid him, he was greeting them warmly escorting them to a carriage while the mares began brushing Derpy’s mane and Karyn’s hair.

“I really hope this is a short trip,” said Derpy.

“Yes, but let me at least see if I can do something about this. Oh, excuse me,” Karyn said to the mare working on her hair. “Am I right in thinking this is about making me look presentable for the event?”

“Definitely. Princess Cadance and the changeling queen said that this would be done with full ceremony, so everypony must look their best.”

“Yes, but I’m going as a changeling queen. I daresay that your work is superfluous at best.”

She focused and surrounded herself with green light. Remembering the formal headwear that Cadance used when campaigning for the Equestria Games, she added gems to her hair and conjured a sequined dress that shone as though it was bejeweled as well.

The reaction she got shocked her. The mares-in-waiting did stop their ministrations, but not out of gratitude. Instead, they both inhaled sharply, packed up their things, and hopped off the carriage without saying good-bye.

“What happened?” asked Derpy. “Did we mess up?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I offended them by not letting them do their work. That’s why I’m not cut out for being important. I don’t know how to treat people who are trying to serve me.”

“Well, let’s not worry about it. We’re getting closer to the Crystal Castle.”

But the driver of the carriage had decided that they were close enough. He stopped and said, “You can walk from here. I’m sure you can find the way. It’s the big building right there.” Without looking back, he sped off.

“There’s definitely something odd about what’s going on here.”

“Let’s just get to Princess Cadance. She’ll sort everything out.”

They made good time to the castle, where again they met with bowing and honors. At last they reached Princess Cadance.

“Thank you so much for coming. You have no idea how much easier this will make it for me,” the princess said.

“I’m not so sure. We might have been making missteps.” Karyn related what happened on the train and with the carriage driver.

Princess Cadance’s expressive eyes showed the stress she was under. “The train is my fault, and I apologize. I should have known that you wouldn’t want to be pampered, but so many others do, and I fell in the routine. But the incident with the carriage is part of something deeper. You see, many of the Crystal ponies don’t favor this treaty with the changelings.”

“WHAT?!” they said simultaneously.

Karyn was the first to recover. “Don’t they understand that they won’t have to live in fear of the changelings anymore?”

“Unfortunately, just because they won’t have to doesn’t mean they don’t now.”

Now it was Derpy’s turn. “But you’re their princess! If you tell them that this is good for them, won’t they listen?”

“Yes, or there would be no treaty to begin with. But I can’t just do what I think is right all the time and expect them to fall in line. I have to listen and indulge the common pony most of the time. If I do that, I earn their trust and, when the time comes to do something important like this, they do. But I’m going to have to do a lot of listening to make up for this.”

Before they could discuss it any further, the door burst open and a black silhouette let only circles of light through near the floor. Queen Chrysalis had arrived.

“Ah,” she said in her raspy voice. “You came. Excellent. Then we will proceed to business and be done with it.”

Karyn decided that she wasn’t going to allow the queen to keep her illusion. “I came because Princess Cadance asked me to, and now that I’m here, I have misgivings. What exactly are you agreeing to?”

“We get the land we need to build a hive and the residual love energy from the Crystal Heart. In exchange, the Empire gets our assurance that we will no longer feed on ponies.”

“That’s it? I don’t wonder that the Crystal ponies aren’t happy. You’re only giving them what’s theirs by right, and besides that, what assurances do they have that this isn’t an empty promise?”

Chrysalis looked shocked that Karyn had even questioned her in the first place, but now she was incredulous. It was left to Cadance to reassure her. “It doesn’t work like that. For an agreement like this, magical binding will be used to ensure that both sides live up to it—us as well as them. We can’t turn off the Crystal Heart now, for example. Not that we would anyway.”

“Nonetheless, I’m not going to participate in or endorse this treaty until I’ve talked to some more of the Crystal ponies and found out what their beef is. You might not need me, but if what I know about magic is true, that’s got to affect that ‘magical binding’.”

A look from the two of them confirmed her guess. “I’m sorry you feel that way,” said Cadance, “but if you don’t want to trust me blindly, please take your time and interview as many ponies as you need.”

“Thank you.”

Karyn motioned Derpy to follow, overhearing as she left, “You are too kind to her, Princess. You have a love spell, why not just force her to like the treaty?”

Not needing to hear Cadance’s reply, trusting her that far, Karyn walked down the hall. “What did you think of all that, Derpy? I really put my foot in it, huh?”

“I don’t think so. You did everything I would have. I’m proud. There’s only one thing I’d suggest.”

“What’s that?”

“If their problem is with changelings, you should use your powers a lot out there. That might get us the answers we want more than just asking.”

Karyn smiled. “I like that,” she said. “Besides, it solves another problem: getting their attention. I don’t fancy walking right up to ponies and asking them what they feel.”

Out in the court where the Crystal Heart was kept floating between a stalactite and a stalagmite, ponies had gathered. From the general mutterings and scowls, Karyn divined that these would be the ones most upset about the treaty. She took a deep breath, focused, and concentrated. Her green-light shower was even more visible than usual, and the ponies turned to face her.

“What’s the big idea?!”

It was a ruddy big stallion who had been at the center of the crowd, and he pushed his way to the edge up to Karyn who was now crystalline just as the others were.

“Hey, changeling, I’m talking to you. Get back to your real form, or there’s going to be problems.”

Karyn cocked her head, but acceded and dropped all her disguises. Without the magical makeup she used, she looked fairly plain. “Happy?”

“I said your real form!”

“This is my real form. I am Karyn, human of Earth and honorary changeling queen. What is your problem with changelings?”

He looked back to the crowd and seemed to have been appointed spokes-stallion. “We object to changelings. Their whole existence is based on a lie! If they want to remain in their hives, that’s one thing, but we’re talking about letting them roam free through the Empire. We’d have no way to tell who was a real pony and who wasn’t! That’s why what we want is a way to identify a changeling even when they’re disguised.”

Derpy trotted up to Karyn. “That seems reasonable to me.”

“I don’t know…”

He continued. “We know that Princess Cadance and the changeling queen—the other changeling queen—are planning to use magic in the agreement. If so, we don’t see why they can’t use a little more and, say, give each changeling a magical mark with ‘C’ or something similar.”

“Wow, really? I expected better out of you guys.”

It wasn’t the response that he was looking for. He ducked back into the crowd and started talking about it to make sure the other ponies were on board. That gave Karyn a chance to huddle with Derpy.

“What’s up?” she said. “I thought it seemed like a good idea.”

“Maybe I’m prejudiced because I know our history on Earth, and maybe ponies could find a way to do that and not be mean about it, but I don’t think so. When you force someone to wear a mark because of where they were born and how they live, it’s a violation of their rights and of civility. It’s saying that even though you haven’t done anything wrong, we’re going to treat you like you have, instead of giving you the benefit of the doubt.”

“I see. And humans actually did this?”

“Yes, I’m sorry to say.” Karyn looked over her shoulder. “Too often. But how am I going to put that over to them?”

“Just say what you did to me.”

Karyn cleared her throat to get the attention of the ponies. “So, here’s why that’s a bad idea. You’re treating the changelings like they’re a problem even before they’ve become one. I say that that isn’t fair.”

“Easy for you to say,” the leader responded. “You’re on their side. You have no loyalty to the Crystal Empire.”

“I’m not on anyone’s side. I just want everyone to live happily and peacefully.”

Before he could express further skepticism, Derpy flared her wings and her nostrils. “Forget about that,” she said, “but how would you like it if somepony said that you had to wear a mark all the time so that they knew who you were?”

“We have those, remember? Cutie marks?”

Derpy had to think fast. “Yes, but you can cover them up if you want by wearing clothes. How about it? If a changeling wanted to wear clothes, would you let them?”

“That breed? Do they even know what clothes are?”

“Doesn’t matter!”

“Here’s what does.” The stallion had some of the orator in him. “What nopony else understands. We were gone a thousand years, and before that we were slaves. We’re going to say this here and now: never again!” A cheer resounded from the crowd.

“But—“ Karyn cut her off.

“No, Derpy. I can understand. Having to go through all that, it is difficult. Now that I know the reason for your disagreement, we can figure out what to do. Do you still intend to follow Princess Cadance’s lead on this?”

Again the stallion had to look to the crowd. “Well, yes. But if anything goes wrong…” He didn’t finish the sentence.

“One last question: have you told Princess Cadance your reason?”

“We’ve tried, but we were never sure if we got through to her.”

“Well, then I will try. Derpy, would you kindly return to the castle with me?”

Before anypony in the throng could respond, she turned on her foot, altered her form back to pony, and trotted off.

“Why did you transform again?” asked Derpy.

“It seemed the fitting way to end the conversation. I wanted them to think of both a pony and a changeling, and maybe they’ll realize how different they aren’t.”

They made good time back to the castle where they found Chrysalis pacing the hall. “There you are, you wayward mare! Why have you kept Queen Karyn back so long?”

“Me?! She was the one who insisted on going!”

Before Derpy and Chrysalis could get into another battle of wills, Karyn stepped between them, dropped her disguise, and explained everything to Cadance.

“I hadn’t considered that,” she said. “I wasn’t with them during the time of Sombra. I know all about it, of course, but I can never understand what it felt like.”

“Perhaps I could speak to the ponies before the signing.” Three heads turned. None had ever heard Chrysalis’s voice drop below its resonant tone of command before.

“All right. We can try that.” Cadance led them out onto a balcony. Already the audience for the signing was present. From a distance, Derpy recognized the small rebellion still outside the castle court. She whispered in Cadance’s ear. Taking advantage of her powerful wings, she swooped down and instructed the guards to let them in. Taking her place back on the balcony, she spoke to her ponies. “Mares and Gentlestallions. Moments from now, I will seal the pact that will remove the threat of changeling invasion once and for all. But, I am told, some of you have misgivings. Here to speak to you, the changeling queen, Chrysalis!”

She stepped to the fore and looked down and the ponies Cadance had let in. “Crystal Ponies. I shall not speak long. For a long time, you were enslaved by a terrible tyrant. Now, he is gone. For a long time, we were enslaved by our hunger. With your aid, that can be gone too. But still you feel the fear that the dark times will return. So do I. What I propose to give up—power and ruthlessness—may not seem valuable to you, but they are all that I know. This treaty will not be the end of our conflict, only the beginning of the end. Prove now that you were not so beaten down by your slavery and exile that you are broken. Show all kingdoms everywhere that the Crystal Empire is stronger than that in the field of love.

“For on that strength of love the survival of my people depends.”

She turned back. The crowd neither cheered nor booed. The treaty was brought out, Chrysalis held a quill pen in her magic field and dragged it across the paper, then the light around it changed from green to light blue. Cadance dipped it in ink and signed, “Mi Amore Cadenza.”

“The treaty must be witnessed by two parties,” the princess said. “If you please…”

Derpy and Karyn both blushed as they signed. That was all the ceremony that was held. Chrysalis took her leave. “I must return to the hive. I half wonder if it has collapsed in my absence. Queen Karyn…I would have you return more often. One does wish a peer now and again.”

“If you want that, then say goodbye to Derpy as well.”

The queen balked, but eyed her and said, “Fare well, o gray wanderer.”

Derpy squinted. “What did that mean?”

“Don’t worry,” said Karyn. “Whether she knew it or not, she complimented you for your wisdom.”

Princess Cadance relaxed her tension. “I have to thank you as well. As Chrysalis said, this is only the beginning, but a beginning is better than nothing. If you return to the station, I’ll have a train summoned to take you back to Ponyville.”

“If it’s all right,” she said, “We’ll wait for the next one on the schedule.”

Author's Notes:

The guests on Earth return next week. Who's coming?

“Hey, what if you advertised?!” Derpy brightened up.

“Advertise for friends? I could do that online, but that’s just how you get the kind of friend that isn’t really close.”

“No, I mean advertise for people who want to hang out with a pony! Just the way we found you all the way back then.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His eyes were immediately drawn to the open door, then recognition crept across his face.

“Hey…Rachel, right?”

“Karyn.”

“I got the ‘a’ right. What are you doing here?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"She’s showing me ways to do things that I never dreamed of.”

Derpy pursed her lips. “Ooh. Is she picking up IT or teaching you magic?”

“Both. Or neither. It’s hard to explain, it’s like magic but without any actual spells or things."



See the cultural exchange and friendship all here next week.

Next Chapter: 108: Derping Your Stripes Estimated time remaining: 14 Hours, 24 Minutes
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